The Red Cloud chief. (Red Cloud, Webster Co., Neb.) 1873-1923, May 27, 1904, Image 3

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Dumb PcU' Particular Fondness for
Great Author.
Somowhnt akin ti the story of the
Tny and thu pig in the Spectator of
March 12 is the following narrative
in the life of Sir Walter Scott, IIIuh
trntlng his fondness for animals and
their attachment to him. I find It In
u volume entitled "Stories of Remark
nhle Persons." by the late Dr. William
Chambers, who Rives Sir Walter's
son-in-law, Lockhnrt, as voucher for
the authenticity of the story:
"At Abliotsford, in the autumn of
1 J-2f. when a lnrgo party, including Sir
Humphrey Davy, Dr. Wollaston and
Henry Mackenzie were rallying out
Stott on his pony, with Maida gam
boling almut lilm there was some
t-wnmutlun and laughter when It was
discovered that a little black pig was
frisking about and apparently resolved
1o he one of the party for the day.
Scott tried to look stern, and cracked
Jilt whip at the creature, but was In n
moment obliged to join in the gener
al cheers. Poor piggy was sent home.
'This pig,' says lxekhart, 'had taken,
nolKidy could tell how, a most senti
mental attachment to Scott, anil was
constantly urging his pretensions to
be admitted a regular member of his
tail along with the greyhounds and
terriers; but, Indeed, 1 remember him
suffering another summer under the
vame sort of pertinacity on the part of
an affectionate hen. I leave the ex
planation for philosophers but such
were the facts," Ixmdon Spectator.
Story in Itself Was Well Worth an
Robert M. Mel.ane. the mayor of
Baltimore, said the other day:
"Naturally, since our devastating
fire, the salesmen of safes have been
doing a rushing business here.
"1 am told that two safe salesmen,
representing rival Arms, called simul
taneously on a business man one
morning last week. The first sales
man said:
" 'To demonstrate the quality of our
safes, it is our custom to put n cat in
(ilia of them, to lock It, to build a
gnat fire around It, and to leave It in
;the flames for twenty-four hours. At
the end of the twenty-four hours we
open the safe and thu cat leaps out,
'Wonderful!' said the merchant.
"The second salesman spoke tip.
" 'We once put a cat In a safe of
ours,' he said, 'and kept It surrounded
with flre for a week. At the end of
the week what condition do you sup
pose the cat was In?'
"'Dead?' said the merchant.
"'Yes, dead,' said the salesman.
'Dut do you know how it died?'
" 'No. How?'
" 'It froye to death.' "
Words for Ordinary Purposes.
"The small number of words actu
ally necessary for ordinary purposes
In our everyday life Is surprising, and
nothing Illustrates this better than
the limited vocabulary of a little
child," Dr. M. Harris said. "I have
a daughter t; years old. She is able to
linake all her wants known, to talk
freely and easily. If an adult knew
Just the number of words In a for
eign tongue that she knows In her
own he would bo able to get along
nicely In a conversational way with
people who spoke nothing but that
'language. What the child's vocabu
lary comprUcs, how many words and
of what classes I recently made It ray
'business to ascertain in n series of
Investigations extending over a con
siderable period of time. I fouud that
the total number of words she knew
and used was Just :tfi2, omitting proper
nPOeF, and that 51 per cent of theso
We're nouns, 18 per cent verb's and 11
per cent adjectives, the remainder be
ing made up of conjunctions, preposi
tions and pronouns." St. Iouls Globe-Democrat.
r I
British Admiral Cared Little for New
York Society.
There was some disappointment
among the younger members of the
Astor set In New York when Admiral
Sir Cyprian Bridge. K. C. H refused
to permit himself to be lionised in a
social way. The admiral belongs to
that type of naval martinet which
bollevea exclusively in n gunpowder
diet us a necessity and combing bul
lets out of thu hair after a battle as a
diversion. He is a Chesterfield in po
liteness, but has a rather cynical man
ner with women. His detestation or the
American who apes English manner
isms Is so marked that he becomes al
most rude In rebuke. He made the
usual conventional call at the British
embassy when he was In Washington,
but in Ills brief stay in New York he
could not be persuaded to make more
than one or two calls.
Prize for Cactus Exterminator.
The government of Queensland of
fers a prize of $25,000 for a method of
exterminating the opuutin, a species
of cactus Imported from America.
You fee ilnt feller efry hlnc-ft
Vhereffer you ma- nt;
Veildlicr in liollillrs or tuide.
He- ilon'd viiuld 1f n cent
Vor anyvonp'n nblulnn,
Vroin I'eter down to Paul;
Silfllclt nt nn lie lo hlmcrlliir:
Dor man out knows it nil.
Dor I'lillllpciiinilH In der KnFt
lie linf lirovlilfil for.
Ho tlKurfil dot omit Ioiik iiKO,
In lad, hi'foro iler vnr.
For rtc-r Hu8so-Hhiiiiiii'ivcKtli)n
lit' M'llUHt hnf not llT giill
To hay: "Yon leaf ilnt nil to uip;"
Xk-r nutn dot knows It nil.
Dor Pimimumia muddle
Van slinbllclty to mm,
Hp'iI know oxni'tly vot to .
Kef ho yum "In dT srliwim."
Dt-r dronhl vn", he viiHii't,
t'txl lii'ts viUntlh nay, 'lllif a hall!"
Vhi'ii lin commence uVr subject ;
1)it m;ui dot known It nil,
Ir hrci-lclintnl qvrMlon
He Hlrenly ..h looked ofer,
Cnn "lice oup nil ilrr randldalm
Vrom All-Knoo down to Uror;
Can dell you ull illiclr nrictstorn
Vny linck to to "Aclutn'H Kail";
You ilon'd could fool him miirh, py
Der man dot known It all.
He dells you baity eortn
In n vny you ilon'd could doubt It;
Oxblnlnn aboudt iter tnrirf
Und how Hoose veil uboudt It,
Mluo craclouv! how dhone utmlldaten
lie Ft-hUHt vlll pool nnd hunt;
l'lty h vnsn't "In If
Der mnn dot known It nil.
Vu mwt him down In Vnll Hticot
Among tier bears unil bull;
Off "pointers" he hnf blrnty,
Und say hi! not wime "pull"
Ubon !le Algumatlon elmpn,
1'nd dot a "put" or "call"
Van solid, eef he runB It:
Der man dot known It all,
Und no It goen; mine, crnclnux!
Vhen vlll It efer nchtop?
I find me oudt dbeie nchtlll van room
For merit on urr top;
t'nd vhen It comen to peeMilz
Among der Hint to fall
Vrom off Kami's ladder, look for him!
Der man dot know It all.
Their Notions About Many Simple
Thlnns Are Vagus.
Thejbushiuen of Africa hnvo a
quaint I belief, according to a recent
book, Hint the world was made by a
spirit with his left band so unsatis
factory a piece of work Is it. The no
tions about nstronomy are many and
curious, including the familiar one
that the old moons arc cut up Into
stars; "but," as nn old man told Mr
Kldd, the author, "we are only black
men, and know very little about these
things." Thu natives aru very ic
spectable to snakes, which they be
lieve to be a revivified form of their
ancestors' backbones. They are nfrald
to look Into deep pools lest n monster
should lay hold of their shadows and
drag them Into thu water; and they
dread being photographed, on the
medieval ground thai If any enemy
gets hold of your portrait lie can work
you nil sorts of harm through its
agency. Of course there are witch
doctors anil rain doctors most or
whom, by the way, come to violent
ends at the hands of n dlsapiiolnted
populace and in .ululand the women
sometimes buty their children up to
their necks In thu ground In the ex
pectation that the heavens will melt
with tenderness ut the noise they
Worth Llvlnn For.
The late Dr. Butler of Hartfoni
Conn., gave as an Illustration of the
necessltly of giving restoratives even
to those apparently almost dead this
leaf from his experience:
"Old Aunt Sally was dying and had
been talking about her hopes of
heaven. At the same timo 1 was ad
ministering a few drops of brandy
and water In a tcasKon. In a sooth
ing voice (referring to her crossing
the river) 1 snld: 'And how does It
seem. Aunt Sally?'
"The old woman slowly opened one
eye, and winking at me, replied:
" 'It's Hckin' good, doctor.'
"1 gave her the contents of the
glass, and she lived several years."
New York Times.
Death of Famous Conjurer.
Heir Dobbler, the famous conjuror,
died In Aberdeen recently. Hu was
on the stage forty years. It was he
who, In 1804 exposed the Davenport
Brothers, who had pretended that
their tricks were supernatural maul
Belgium and French Coal.
The output of coal In both France
and Belgium last year was greatei
than ever before, that of France be
ing 38.000.0(10 tons and that of Bel
glnin 23.000,000 tons.
Aged London Actor.
Herman V'ezln of the Court Theater,
London, is 7fi years of age, and still
playing. Ho is a graduate of thu Unl
versity of Pennsylvania, although Hng
Jlbh born.
When Shakespeare wrote "The man
that hath no music In himself, nor Is
moved with concord of sweet sounds,
is fit for treasons, strutegems and
spoils," he lived In an age that knew
only ilnton and lutes of that Inoffen
sive sort; an ago when pooplo who
sang only carolled and trolled about
flowers and love and shepherdossen.
Shakespeare never heard n piano, nor
a Herman brass band; nobody hud In
vented operas, comic or explosive-, It
was not lonsldcrcd bad form to ad
mire a billad; and no one was expell
ed from society or considered Ignor
ant and uncouth for liking a melody
and throwing bricks at those who
mado a noise.
Shakespeare was ipilte n fellow In
his day, and knew almost as much as
a spouting police geyser; but he
neither know nor anticipated the late
lamented Herr Wagner of Bnyreuth,
Germany. Wagner was a man who
had a lot of music in himself, but he
failed to keep It In. Music worked In
his system like steam; nnd when It
broke out It mnilo trouble. Wagner
tried his music on his chum, a luna
tic nnd king; and If ho was pleased,
it was considered n proof that the rest
of us would want It. I am rather shy
about saying much about Wagner; ev
ery fellow thnt plays a fiddle, or a
mouth organ, or a cornet, or forty
fives, thinks it's up to him to defend
lilm; aud you are pretty sure to be
called names and accused of Anarchy
and beating your wife If you rouse
tho Wagnerltes. Under the circum
stances, It Is Just as well to bo Ju
dicious nnd speak soft and low.
Some people understand Wagner;
some try to understand lilm; some
pretend to understand him; while a
vaRt, vulgar, Ignorant majority can
neither stnnd nor understand lilm. I
supiHi'se 1 am numbered among the
lust lot; nnd, while I nm willing to
concede that Wagner Is grent, I prefer
SoiiHi, Creatore and rag-time. Con
iideiM lally, I think ho was born too
soon and died too late.
The easiest way to distinguish a
re.l Wagnerlto from tho Imitation is
to hear them pronounce the great
man's name. The real things call
him Vogner; tho Britannia metal
Wagnerltes call him Wagner, or just
Waggoner, If they nre lately from
When a man has a wife who can
cut frillH on a pianola, or who wants
to be In tho swim, he just naturally
has to got down In his pocket once in
a while and dig up a couple of fives
to put tho Wagner trust on Easy
street. As I have said, I don't renlly
enjoy Wugner; but In the end it Is
easier and cheaper to tako four hours
of tho great German's spasms than
four weeks of your wife's obligates In
C sharp. Four weeks of domestic
harmony Is cheap at $10; a dlvorco
will cost moro than that.
Tho last tlmo I sampled Wagner's
wares It was under domestic duress;
and the particular riot which I en
dured was called tho Valkyries. There
wero several characters In it who re
minded mo of certain statesmen; they
had largo voices, long whiskers and
peculiar garments. These people
lldn't mako much trouble, though
lomowhat clamorous; nnd they had a
Tired of
Representative Richardson of Ten
nessee tells of an old dnrky living
near Nashville who, has according to
his theory, been dying for many, many
years. Notwithstanding his persistent
belief that he is near death's door,
this darky, Isaac Botts by name, Is
apparently as wol! and able-bodied to
day as ho was forty years ago.
Recently, says Mr. Richardson, Isaac
was seized with ono of his "spells."
A week or ho passed, but Isaac, ac
cording to his own statement, grow no
better. Ono day a nolghbor, In pass
ing tho Botts domicile, chanced to oh
servo Mrs. Botts tho gate,
"How is Iko this morning?" asked
tho neighbor.
"Only tol'ablo, only tol'aWe," replied
Vinky RyCftfojp ' 57KAT.CCMf ANt 5-
Easterner Complains He Purchased
Domestic Harmony at Frightful
Cost-Hereafter Will Stick
to Ragtime.
rather easy time trying not tti fall In 1
hive with A stout, elderly nnd shop
worn princess or prophetess, who was
lovely enough to stop a clock In any
climate, or drive the east wind out of
The ical things In this music drama
Wagner's things me not op
eras or opuses were a lot
of strong, strenuous young wom
en arrayed in uightles and cam
paign helmets and armed with ox
goads, who butted In periodically with
gesticulations and shrieks, while the
conductor out In fiout threw fits,
fought with his baton nnd worked up
the fiddles and bassoons until the roof
quivered. As I understand It, the Val
kyries were tho Carrlo Nations of
ancient Germany, who were trained
to hover over battlefields, keeping
tabs on tho patriots who went to tho
ft out too much; and when theso he
rocs were knocked out by tho hated
foenien, tho Valkyries swooped down
on them and hustled them off to n
sort of post-mortem reservation,
called Valhalla, where the departed
patriots sat uround drinking boor and
bragging about their war records. A
patriot and hero would have to be
very dead to enjoy the company of
these shrinking young ladles; for, as
they Heated uround In the atmosphere
on broncoes waiting for a chance to
ftuTrro in rrKiooif.ALiy
wcrMt;ie w.ARe it Vt
i vn v mm. frVflE? IC PWr
drag out a battered patriot they made
noise enough to make a D. A. It. con
vention seem llko u prayer meeting In
Tho night I sat shuddering at this
shrieking sisterhood Frltzl Schcff was
one of the Valkyries; but as she
eloped from Wagner shortly afterward
and went Into comic opera and brief
clothes, I imagine sho was cloyed by
Wagner as much as I was. Tho dif
ference between us was she was paid
to yell at me; und I paid to bear her
yell. .Men nre dead easy.
I was glad when It was over, when
theso shrieking Sutherland sisters
the Delay
Mr. Botts' better half, a weary expres
sion coming into her face.
"That's too bad," responded tho
neighbor, sympathetically; "I had
hoped ho would be well by this tlmo.
Ho Is no worse?"
"No, ho ain't no worse," went on tho
wife, dejectedly, "an' at do same tlmo
ho ain't no better. It's alius dls way.
Flint uo'r worse an' den hu's better.
Den bo's worse agin. Alius ds way!
Ton mnb soul, honey, olo Botts' boen
doln dls way everslnce I klir remem
ber." Then, nfter a long pnuse, as If In
deep reflection, tho darky's wlfo add
ed, In a plaintive tone:
"Honey, I do wish olo Botts 'ml do
somethln' definite!" Now York
1 """ tmtmmt WMMHMk.j
jyrrM frfnc?(K; CLWC I nSt
were dinned off by the scetus sh'Uri;
and though I was dead tired nnd
stone denf, I went out nnd tackled
lobsters and Welsh rabbits In it res
taurant and cheerfully faced night
marcs. I knew when I got the night
mare I'd forget tho Valkyries.
In my tlmo I have faced "Tannhntin
er," "Iohongrln" and other Wngncrl
an things; and It looked as If I might
acquire tho habit and stand uround
llko other weak sisters pretending t"
bo enraptured every time a bull flddlu
fell foul of a baso drum; but, after
tho Valkyrie campaign I throw up my
hands and abandoned Wagner. Thin
Is a shameful confession to mnko, anil
argues a defective musical and moral
sense. 1 am willing to admit tho trou
ble lies with mo, not Wngner; I bavo
not been trained up to lilm; and t
bavo neither money, nor strength
enough to try. 1 was not distressed
when Boston refused to glvo up Hb
dividends to Herr Conrled; I wan
ptoud to know Boston could control
Itself oven In the fnco of Wngner; and
I was secictly and vulgarly happy
when Conrled nnd bis Valkyries start
ed for Chicago, where thoy are ac
customed to cyclones and explosions.
Outside of tho music drama, 1 llk;
Germans and things German; somo
day I'm going over to Germany to set?
where tho frankfurters, hofbrau and
bull (lil tiler, grow; and I'm going to
look up Herr Wngner'H grave. If
they have a mnrblo monumunt on his
chest and his tomb cemented nnd
copper-riveted I shall rejoice. I'd like
to come back with tho certain knowl
edge that he can't get up und start In
ngaln making raw material for brnsM
bands, hnnd organs and VnlkyrlcB. I
don't want his sacred ronmlns dis
turbed. When the last day comes, and peo
ple are slow In responding, 1 know
where Gabriel can get a first-class as
sistant to ronso tho Bloopers and wakii
the dead; but until thnt day, I hopo no
vandal hand will monkey with titer
great, man's tomb. Joseph Smith In
Boston Herald.
The Difference In Mankind.
"There's men nnd men," said Tonr
my tho Tout, when ho got back Ut
Brondway from Jamalcu tho other
day. ".lust to show you, tako Bill
Daly and Bud May. 'IV wins two
races with Daly nnd Amberjack, and
I'm broke. I know him and need n
dollar. Thinking ho ought to stund
for a touch I asks him for u plunk.
"'I uln'l got u dollar In change,'
says he, 'but hero's a dime I can lot
you have.'
"I needed money bad, and when I
P&Tf )
I 9nMM. KK.icncBt
butts Into May 1 makes up my mlniT
to try him, but Major Pelhum bad
been beaten out and I didn't want to
mako It too strong, so all I asks for Ik
a quarter.
'"1 haven't got n quartor. Tom,"
says he, 'but hero's $2, If it's all tho
same to you.' "Now York Times.
It Was Wished On.
Johnny's sister has a ring that
Johnny Is very tond of. Ho Is allowed
to wear It sometimes for an hour or so,
when ho has been very good, or has
promised to be. One day ho sud
denly found that he wanted to wear
that beautiful little gold band, and
so ho Informed his sister. Sho wasn't
Just In the mood, so sho told him, hk
he Insisted, that she couldn't tuke It
oft because It was "wished on." John
ny said little and thought much, and"
tho next afternoon, when hs sister
bad callers ho rushed In and plumped;
down on an ottoman In tho middle
of the room.
"Johnny," reminded his sister,
"your cap, dear."
"Oh," returned tho boy, Innocently.
"I can't take It off, 81s; it's 'wished
on.' "
Costly Railroad Tunnel.
Ono million dollars a mllo is tho
estimated cost of constructing a tun
nel, four miles in length, on tho lino
of the new Moffat railroad, from Doitr
vor, Colo., to Snlt Lake City, Utah.
Contractors hesitate about bidding for
tho work, because of tho hardness of
the granite through which tho tunnel
must bo bored. Sticks of dynamito
mako llttlo Impression on tho rock,
and tho railroad comnanv. Itself, may
bavo to build tho tunnel.
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