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About The Red Cloud chief. (Red Cloud, Webster Co., Neb.) 1873-1923 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 20, 1901)
tT I'ff ! ' M I ? t t y t h V THE TJMK TO LAUGH. SOME GOOD JOKES. ORIGINAL AND SELEOTEO. llie lllrlli or n .Inkn Thr ItrntUtlr HclioilA Coiiiiniiii Munlit Nut I! Hilly Wlml Hlix W1111l.it -l'rrll oMIie I.HllRUtlK, iiiictii iir a m;u .jotti:. From tho Doston Joiirmvl: No po llcctnan wah luilght, of eourn?. That wus berntlao lin wits wanted. "Hit him, Muggsy!" "Soak him. SwIpchI" "Now youso Rot him!" "Put It on ther Hmrllcr!" These and ninny other edifying ojac filatlons wcro hurled lit two iimull bootblacks who wcro earnestly on gngod lu spoiling each other's fnccu with tholr flflts, whllo u big crowd stood In a clrclo nbnut them, In front of tho postofflcc. It was going badly for tho larsor of tlit two boys when u member of tho lloston l'oaco Socloly, or ono of Its lirtincheH, stopped In nud separated tho boys. For h wondor both seemed will ing to Htoji. Tho peacemaker said: "Well, what uro you fighting about?" Then nn amusing explanation fol lowed and u now Idiotic Joke wuh started on Its Journey through the town, for every mini itnd hoy In the crowd that heard the explanation stnrtod of to "spring" the Joko on tho llret acquaintance he should meet, and pu.sslbly to ho u participant In iinother fistic engagement. The hoy Huld: "ThlH bloke comes up tor mo and sezt 'day, whnt'H ther uoxt to ther lasi letter In ther ulphyhet?' " 'V,' acz I. " 'Cos I wanta to Know,' hC. he, and lie lauRha and swipes nie on ther back, en thor othera they all laiiEh too. r don't seo no Jol;o In It, so 1 IiHh htm on 'ther pcopcr. Do youso r.eo " Ho stopped Hhort; n Rrln spread nil over his dirty ami briilHcd face. Ho looked shceplnh and then laughed out rlRht. "Hully gee. I see It now. Vou'ro ull rlfiht, Muggsy. Hhnlcel Why. Y, ure. lta u,good one, and I'll spring It on mo brudder." They shook hanthi and went oft to Rotbcr. Tho crowd lutighed and cuch one hastened to spread the pluguo n mw Joke. TIIK Itll.tl.lSTK! Nt'llOOI.. From lsllo's Weekly: Vivian's residence is much in the way of hook agents, Itinerant tea and corfeu mer chants, onlnrgcd-photograph nrtlsts and Improvcd-sllvcr-pollsh philanthro pists. Every historian Is Innucnccd to a greater or less extent by his peraonnl surroundings and the lhln;;n of h'.s own times. For example: Vivian waB reciting lu exceedingly new words the old. old hlory of Peter'n relcano by an nngel from prlEon. All had gone well and glibly up to the Point whore l'cter had found his way to tho house of n friend. "Very well. What did he do then?" inquired tho listener. "Ho ho rapped ut tho door." "That's right. Whut next?" Thcra followed u somowhut lengthy pauso. Then an Inspiration e.uno to tho triumphant youiiR historian. "Why, I nucss he nnlced 'If tho lady of tho lwuao waH In.' " MAKI.NO IT (.'I.K.Alt. Farmer llayil; (In department tore) "I winder what thoin thar imla air nllors yellln' "ash fer?" Mrs. Hayrlx "I lecltou mpbby It's tow let folks know they don't trust nobody." NOT KXAOTI.V WHAT NIIK IVANTKO. From the Iondon TltiOlta: A teach, or was Instructing a class of infants in the Sunday school und was letting tho children finish her sentences to make Miro they understood. "Tho Idol hud oyes," sho bald, "but It couldn't " "See," cried tho children. "It had ears, but It couldn't " "Hear." said tho ctuss. "It Jiad .lips, but It couldn't " "Speak." Bald tho children. "It had a noso, but It couldn't " "Wlpo It!" shouted tho llttlo ones, and the teacher had to pauso in her lesson in order to recover her com posure. OOT WHAT UK i)khi:hvi:i. "You know Throgglns? Smooth fcl fow. Ureut Jollier. Tries to kcop on tho good side of o'crybady. Well, lie wont to church last Sunday morning and slept through the whole sermon. Then he had thu gall to tell tho Rev. Dr, Fourthly, after the congregation had been dismissed, that ho had never enjoyed n discourse so much in his life, and he would like to borrow thu mnr. uscrlpt of It nnd take It homo with him, so lo oo'ild read It again during wmNk the day. What i!o you Htipposo tho doctor did 7" "F cun't Imagine," "Well, sir, 1 think he'd seen ThroR gltm uoddliiR. and knew ho hadn't heard n word. At any rate, he took ThroRRlus by tho arm, led him into his study, made htm sit down, and then ho read oveiy bleeped lino of that ser mon over aiuilu to him before he would let him tip. U, you don't rc( ahead of Dr. Fourthly not much!" or cotncsi:. . He D.il's bis 'f'JontnU nn inn tf liln , head. Mho My! An (loin udders is his side combe. Wot? "Wlllie,"snld mam ma, 'didn't I tell you to wash your face?" "Yes, mam ma." Willie replied, "and 1 did wash It." "Mamma," piped little Elsie, who had Just been vaccinated, "perhapn he did do It, hut It didn't 'taicu' the first time." nkw i'iiikt m:.ii:i: Why Is the farm er's wlfo mad? Rccnuse her son did what she told him to do. What was It? She told him to draw a hogs-hend-fill of wa-tor. See the man. What is the man do-liiR? Ho Is hatiR-iu:; tho ple-tuiv. I don't see that be li haiiR-lnR It. '-sSfc Of eournu you dift, but a on ca-i hear him. A COMMON MAMA. You never run tell. No oni ins pected for a moment. Hut you never cr.n tell. Tho obi Rontleman was so dlniillled, When he passed down Olive street lu the mornlnRa they used to suy ut him: "I wonder who that wealthy banker l.i?" or. "I wonder what brokerage linn lio Ij connectcil with?" Ho was so dlsullled. lie was ho Immaculate Ho precipe. Hut the 4orm hi In the air. You breathe and you invallow It. Soon thoy bc;un to observe on Olive ttreet the old aentlemnn 'was less dlR nllled. What did he mean by rump lltiR Icttora ho took from his pockets and making them Into little sphereti? And then his cane! Tho funny way lie bcRiiu to manipulate It! Up rocs tlie paper sphere! Hlff rocs the enne! Hans! ross the paper spheie. Every day the .u:ie o'd fctory. CUT! then Hiinu! Mental aberration? Nothing of the kind. Simply baseball mania. Hu bats away nil his correspondence In this manner. Hu alio maintains u batthiR nvcrnse. Kvery miss Is a "time at but:" und strlkltiR the paper sphere Is u base hit. Ho Is his own olllclal .scorer. He Is Impartial. The old Rontleman really hns a "Rood eye," and ho In batting now well over thu ,::U0 mark. This Is a confession. Mention it to the old Rcntlcmau If you like, but I he .kicks you don't complain to t':i police. Ht. I.oufu t'ost-Ulspatch. I'AN-AMIMlllWN HOMAMj:. Till; tull. dark oung man and Cm short, blomlu young woman hud cc-l-dcntally met and hecume acquainted whllo on tho way to Duffalo. Thoy had encountered each other In the Court or Fountains at the exposi tion nnd icnewed the acquaintance, and every duy thereafter for u week, thoy met ut the name pluce apparently by accident, and strolled through the grounds together. Dut the last day allowed by l-.ls o. cumjii ticket had come nud he could &tay no longer. "It has been a delightful week," he raid to her. Sho murmuied an as:, on I to the prop osition. "And I have como to know you so well that I hope you will not thlnl: me presumptuous If I iisk you it ques tion." "Whut.ls It?" nho asked, with down east eyes. "Will yott please tell me your niime?" v.vi.i.k iii:i'i:ivi:n. "I suppose," said the man who had Just been accoHted by Meandering Mike, "thut you think youifelf perfect ly Justilicd In taking money from me without nuidcriiiu; ait e'lulvabiiit?" "Don't say dat, inl.itcr," wus the re joinder. "Don't sav I'd take it wldout an equivalent. If de linrd-luclc story I've been tellln' you ain't fuller of lm- agination an' 'gtncefitl embX'lllshfiicnts dan any of dem books you've paid 0 cents upleco for on do train, I'm ready to give up me chosen profession an' quit paiilianilllu' fur life." -Washing, ton Star. i'Khii.h or i.AMii'.Uii:. Sprockott "It's u hard win Id. i havo hardly made myself iho master of bicycle vocabulary so that I can talk wheel gllbl,v. when tho wheel Is almost out of fushlon, and nobody w'll listen It I talk about it." Nlbllck--"Why don't ".u study golf nomenclature?" Sprockott "localise my mind h-n't equal to It. It would drive me eriuy." "Nlbllck-"Vory likely; but It wouldn't be noticed on the links, yo;i kuow." nosdon Tr.insci lid. ! . "nimwiiiMVnrditMtB8TBiiiaMiE r&ji.zixix' i Sr T-riTirrtiiiiMiiMMMff-i f agiir 'rT""ri"" ""' tt'y',M,M , Ideas Become Fast Instances are numeroiiH which show liow the fancies of the novelist may become realltlrt; throuRh men and women reproducing In actual life the imoRlnnry scenes of the story teller. It is well known that Sir Walter Ho ynnt'fl story of "All Sorts and Condi tions of Men" brought about the build Inp of tho People's palace In London. .Miles Verne's apparently wild flights of Imagination in "Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea" Is probably largely responsible for the wonderful progress that has been mado lu sub marine navigation, and the construc tors and operators of these boaU have been already able to discount some of tho novelist's fancies. When tho city of Galveston was overwhelmed In nn Instant by the destroying waters tens of thousands of people read the de tailed 8tor in the newspaper and wondered at tho reproduction In this cntastrophy of the Lafcudlo Hearn's story of "Chltu: A Memory of Lost Islands." The Galveston btory, to the smallest detail, had long before been dreamed nnd the dream told by tho prn of ileum. Those who have read "King Solomon'a MliuM" remember how Captain flood upon one occasion when things were looking decidedly dubious for the KiirIIbIi adventurers saved tho llven-of himself and his com panions by a aklllful manipulation or his single eyeglass and his falso teeth. The recent outbreak In Ashantl fur nished an incident which almost paral leled the one Imagined by Rider Hag gard. Two KiiRlIshmen were lu a na tive vilhiRo far out on the "western bor ders of the disturbed country. When the war broke out all their native hervnnts left thoin and they wcro alone with the hostllo KavaRoa. One, a min ing prospector, went to a nelRhborlng chief for protection. The chief re ceived him kindly, gave him u meal and. whllo he wan eating, beat his brains out. with a war club. The other man, Wnlter Hennett by name, n sur veyor, wns startliiR from his house when he heard tho fate of his ompan lou. He made his way to another chief, who lecelved lilm grimly, took him Into his house nnd thin intimated that he would shortly "do things" to Mr. Dennett. Tho chief's family with ered around to Inspect their victim and the Englishman adjusted his monocle and sat down to think things over. A CRIME TO STAGGER FROVlSiON AGAINST INTEMPERANCE IN A SOUTH CAROLINA TOWN Tin. uf riiiirrncff lnu' ulitf.li lnu nvpl sprung from South Carolina's dispen sary system has been adopted by the town council of Yorkvllle. a thriving country seat near the mountain line. When the dispensary system was first operated Yorkvllle fought It bitterly, because the citizens of that town are strong on tempc.ranre. Tho law was unpopular. It did not prove hiicccsa lul. and Anally It was derided to have an election In which the people could express their views on the dispensary or prohibition. The voters burled the dispensary and prohibition uiled thu da). Dut the clewing of the .state estab lishments did not stop the sale of liquors. Men got drunk Just as they formerly had done, and 'n tho low nuartci- of the town Intoxicated men reeled out, n (-hooking spectacle of prohibition. The wise heads took counsel together. Thoy tulkcd over tho defects, nnd agreed to punish tho man who drank, and not tho man who sold. An extra meeting of the town council was called, An oidlnuuce was Introduced making It a misdemeanor for any person to be seen staggering o tho streets of the town. That wjb wliere the wise beads thoucht the loot of the evil could bo crushed. There ItVIE NATION'S LIBRARIES 1 V There Ari Now 5,383 Such lustltntloiu, S S! with 44,591,851 Volumes & i(.,?,ii;;6a3i,i5cji!..ftvS Tho leport of tho United St.iter, Dn- i :!S" libraries, with 2.777U.09C volumes. icnu of' Education shows that thero has been in tho last live ycais. an In crease of l,;ir7 In the number of pub lic, soolcty und school libraries in the United States. There aro now r,HS3 nueh libraries, as agalnkt I.02C In ISCii. and 44,Q!U,85l volumes, as against :i.05t,872 mi Increase of nearly Si" per cent, in tho number of books. The North Atlantic division hns 'J,4:t7 of the '1,383 llbinrles. and 1, 000,000 more than half tho number of volumes In, the United Stntes. Now York ulone has 71S libraries' with 7. t!)C.,r0!) volumes; Massachusetts, .ri7l li braries, with G.ca.'l.'Jfcri volumes nnd Pennsylvania. 401 libraries, with "., 047,677 volume.! The North Central division has 1.72S libraries, with II,-'-11,710 volumes; Ohio, 'Jfiti llbrarlea, with 2,0:5,5N9 volumes, and Michigan 103 libraries, with 1,208,708. volumes. The South Atlantic division has 'll libraries, with n.SOIl.'-'a" volumes. Maryland hns SO or these libraries, with 1,17i",2uS volume, and tho Dis trict of Columbia 71, with 2,r.oi,78S vol umes, 1,000,000 of these being in the Library of Congress, Tlie South Cen tral division has .174 llbritrks, with "l,:iFil.7:i1 vo'.umcs. Kentucky has 70 llbrnrlci. with 125,720 olumes, and Tennetseo 71 libraries, with 382,221 volumes, The Western division hrs Fancies of Novelists Reproduced in Actual Life, Tho single eyegbss at once caught tho fanny of the chief's wives ntrl children and they laughed and Jabbered until Mr. Dennett had to laugh too. For an hour or so the family of the chief kept the surveyor "doing stunts" with his oyeslass. When ho managed to screw the glnss Into the eye oT the ehlof'B favorite wlfo tho hilarious rapture of the whole village was complete, nnd even tho old chief laughed until his woolly hair hurt him. Needless to say Mr. Dennett's life was spared and lie was conducted to a pluce from which ho could reach the Drlttsh lines. Dlb lanlhn is the name of tho village whore the surveyor aaved his llfo after the manner of Captain Good of "King Solomon's Mlniu." You can't find Hon the map at least not on tho ordinary ones hut it U prubablo that the vil lagers are laughing there yet ut the strange Englishman with tho adjusta ble eye. Some" years ago Justin' Mc Carthy wrote a novel called "Red, Dia monds." In that story can bo found mnng things which remind one of the Mollueux case. Captain I'ravon, secre tary of the Voyagers' club in thnt story, had an enemy called Dostwlck, who tried to kill him as. It Is alleged. Moll ueux tried to kill Harry Cornish, by sending .him some poisoned headache powders, which camo to the captain lu almost exactly the Fame manner us tho powders came to Cornish. And tho fullute of the plot Is about similar lu manner to the failure of tho plot ngalnst Cornish. When Alaska was purchased from Russia In 1KG7 no one thought thnt It would prove u second California as regards gold, but. lu that year Drct Hartc pictured Yankee min ers swinging their picks In the midst of wildernesses of snow and Ice. and. in fact, prophesied the Ktondlke out o" tho fullness of his Imagination. In "I'urMied by the Law," .1. Maclaren Cohblnn has a criminal, In the custody of two policemen, scramble through the window of a rapidly moving rail way train, leap from It to tho ground and make olT. The critics natuinlly pro nounced this Incident aa "highly ex citing, but unfortunately Impossible." Two days after such a criticism ap peared the London papers, under tho heading "Leaped from a Train," chronicled an Incident exactly similar to that described by Mr. Cobblan. Chi- I cago Chronicle. wna a bitter light In the council over tho proposed legislation. Class was ui rayed iigulnst class, but the nntl Htagger law prevailed, and It wns ac cordingly entered on tho statutes. There Is no provision In the law by which u man suffering from paraly sis can bo exempted from tho oporatlon of the law. All MaRgerlng people look alike to tho wise 'men' of Yorkvllle. Whether ho tagger from drink or from partial paralysis, he Is seized, hurried heforo a town physician, und IiIh condition tested. If thero H the odor of whirky lie Is sent up to bo tilled; if ho stnggors from paralysis or from other troubles, and can pro duce the whisky odor besides, he is dealt with under tho nntl-stugger law. Friends nnd supporters of .the .now measure declare that It has rid the streets of tho drunkards and has ma terially decreased the sale of liquor. Men who fought for its adoption de clnii) that It has increased drunken ness. bcenu.se men buy tiio whisky from the "blind tigers" and then go home to drink the entire supply, wltlr the expectation of remaining there until thoroughly sobered. The law has In jected new Issuer Into the political Ufa of Yorkvllle. nnd peoplo from other towns me anxious to see slmllnr meas ures adopted at their homes. California has 212 of these libraries. with 1.78l,8r8 volumes, nnd Colorado 51, with 303,800 volumes. A Michigan Town. The arrival stepped up to tho hotel counter, swung the rcRlstor utouiid nnd signed his name; "John Smith, MlchiRim." "Ah. Mr. Smith," suld the clerk with that hospitable manner of tho true hotel clerk, "whnt's tho best word in Knlnmnzoo?" Mr. Smith turned pale us if ho had been caught lu tho very' act. "How Mid you know I was from Kalamazoo?" he Inquired In surprise, for he had never been In thnt hotel before. "Oh," laughed tho clerk, "I've been In tho hotel busl urns a long time, and I never saw one of them put down the name of his town yet. The only others I know of like thnt are from Oshkosh." Mr. Smith didn't know Just what to Bny In reply, so ho said It, nnd went on up stairs to his room, thinking Now York Sim. XlllUf SlTll Ileal. Like Indian corn, the tomnto Is oeiit when tho seed Is produced lu tho samp latitude nud cllmnto where the crip Is to bo grown, und It seldom doos liu best tho first scuson when taken far north or south of Us mtlvc locality, Indian Is Maligned ! Indian chnracter has been greatly maligned, says MaJ. John M. Durke, who hns mudc n study of the red men. Treachery, so often charged against them, has no part In their make-up. The Indian hns fought tho man who mistreated him, and he has always fought openly. Ho has bsen the friend the unfailing friend of tho man who has been kind to him, and as given evidence that he wlBhed to help him. The Indian wob tho friend of Pore Marquette and Fathor Do Smct. The man who has shown him n "forked tongue" ho hns treated as ho would any other snuke. The man who hns cheated him, hns taken ad vantage of his ignorance to make his hard lot harder, ho hns killed. The Indian Is u child of nature, nnd ho Is therefore cnndld nnd Ingenuous. When wronged ho knows It, nnd says, so, and his only way to got satisfaction Is to fight. There Is no chance for him to "lny low" nnd wnlt for another deal. Ho can only see what Is in Bight. When Columbus came to America tho Indians were nt first alarmed nt the "great white-winged birds" the ships. The white-faced, Btrangely-,drcs3ed "people who camo out of them were to tho simple natives supernatural be ings. Dut when they saw that tluwo were people who wcro hungry and could ent, then the Indians brought tho best they hail nnd gave It -freely' for nothing, and wore as kindly as well-raised children. When tho cruel Spanlnrds beat them and misused them, tho Indians nnturnlly enough be lieved that nil white men were cruel and dangerous. Cortez In Mexico nnd PIzarro In Peru found the nborlglncs a gcntlo people, but that did not de crease the relentless cruelty thnt al ways growa out of lust Tor gold, nnd so, for centuries, with nil their con tinuous generations, the Indian was tnught that the white man was his heartless enemy; and he nccopted the lessons. There wns no way to to-ich him that not nil white men were greedy and cruel. Vice will 'go much further to assert Itself than virtue. Dut, coming down to this very day, the unsophisticated red man of the ENGLAND'S NEW HOVE One of the most Important announce ments that havo been made in tho British Parliament for ninny years is tho recent declaration by Joseph Chamberlain, colonial seere'ary, that the English government will not hesi tate henceforth to employ in Europe or elsewhere its Indian and African troops, it Is nn announcement of most profound Interest to tho cntlro civilized world, but more especially to thoso na tlomi which hnvo millions of semi barbarous races subject to their rule. Hltheto thero has been n strong sentiment against tho me of seml-clvll-Ized races In the wnrs of Christian states. It Is a sentiment thut found exprcsslnon In the eighteenth century nt Westminister, when tho great Lord Chatham denounced with such elo quent indignation tho employmont by tho Drltish commanders In this coun try of .Red Indian tribes against tho American revolutionary forces. Thero aro few newspapers, either lu thu United States oi Europe, that did not express their abhorrence of tho uso of Cossacks and Circassians by Russia in A St. J.ouis man who has been en gaged In engineering work In India brings homo this story of an exciting adventure with a cobra: "Wc hnd Just finished a hard day's work nnd were preparing to take u good rest. Wo were far from a vll Iuro, on somu hills, nnd took sheltflr In a deserted hut. We did not reach tho hut until lifter midnight, nnd con sequently we slept lato Into the next day. The first thing I remember upon opening my eyes wns a Hood of light through tho door. I wns nearest, and my two companions were behind me. On n second glance my blood nlmost froze. Thero on tho lloor of tho hut nnd less than two feet from mo was a largo cobra, tho largest 1 havo over seen, it was colled to strlko, and Us venomous neck swelled with poison. Tho llttlo eyes glittered like beads. I nover'inoved u limb, hut gazednklt lu horror. My perfect stillness probably saved my life, for If I had mado a move tho snnkc would have struck. As It wus. It seemed to he enjoying tho triumph, nnd slowly moved Its head backward and forward. I dared not utter a sound, as I knew that It would seal my fato. "I wos just revolving In my mind what to do and hnd determined to make u quick leap, when thero was n riibh from u far corner. A small nnl mal nhout the size of a rat darted nut from behind tho suako and llko n flash seized him by tho neck Just ubovo tho hood. And then commenced tho fiercest struggle I havo over witnessed. Tho snake plunged, wrlthod nnd twisted, but tho llttlo nnimnl clung to it. At length Its struggles grow weak er und I was enaHod to dispatch It SAVED BY A MONGOOSE j I Its Attack on a Cobra Prevented ' f a Fatality... Vices Which Today I Arc Attributed , I to Him. Ij in i isliriiuii in aogaa J' west, hating u liar, tells the truth: having been siiriounded. the gam killed exterminated tiselcfsly he has no way to get u living and thinks it only natural that tho government which took nwny his opportunities for sustenance owfs him' food und raiment. Tho government says It docs, nnd sends agents to look nftcr und provldt for him. Some of tho agents former ly accepted their places with tho be lief that they linil n right to rob tho very class that they were uppolnted to protect. Of course, not nil Indian agents wore thiB way, hut many of them were, nnd the Indian was blnmed because he refiiEcd to be treated with the Injustice that camo from greed the most cruel of all Injustice und he grumbled nnd fought. Thu Indlun Is supposed to be selfish and brutal by those who do not know him. There Is no human being on earth who will moro quickly divide his lust mouthful of tonil with n friend. No Indian that over lived would crowd a white-haired old woman out of the way to get on a street car first. Thnt sort of thing, and everything akin to It, that Is dis courteous, may be seen nmong tho men of tho streets of all cities. Real men do not do audi thlng3, no moco than all ludlnns do beastly things than those who do not know them suppose they do. Tho Indlnn hns not had tho bcneltt of laundries und porcelain bnths. but he Jumps into tho water and washes himself every time ho has u chance. Ho does not live whero there nrc napklnB and linger bowlB, nnd ho would not know exactly which curloun little fork to ufo for this or that, nor tho precise manner In which ho should carry u spoonful of soup to his-month. Ho has not been taught these things. Neither does ho guoge his neighbor's respectability by the number of po nies the neighbor possesses, nor does ho lie awake of nights thinking over schemes to win his nclglibbr's goodn. He thinks that one who Is nble to pay nud docH not do so is a worse man than ho who Is not able to pay. Ho does not fay to the former, "Ho la all right because ho has money, though tin docs not pay Just debts nor prnctlco deeds of charity." WILL USE ASIATICS AND AFRICANS IN HER WARS- suppressing tho Hungarian Insurrec tion in 1848, nnd of the Sultan's action In endeavoring to put down tho rising ( in Dulgurlu in 1876 by means of ir regular Dashi-DnzotikH, recruited from tho most barbarous portion of his Asi atic dominions. Several yours nfterward, at tho tlmo that England seemed to be on thu verge of war with Russia, a Htnnll con tingent of Indian cavalry waa brought to Malta, which created such an out cry and storm of prote3t. even lu Great Drltuln. that the men were quickly shipped iiack to Dombay. Their visit to .Malta, however, served to remind Continental Europe of the fact that the military resource of England were not lestrlcted solely to her stund- - ""p Ing army at home, and that her forces l" " in India must be taken into account. ' This is probably all that Iord Deacons Held had in view when ho brought ..the Indian contingent to tho .Mediterran ean. Tho man who is Imprlsonc.l for llfo no longer d rends being found out. with a stick. The little anlm.il was ;i mongoose, tlie famous India cobra, fighter. As soon as thu snako was dead It fled to its hiding place nnd w. could not coax It out. If 1 over folt grateful to man or beast It wus to thu llttlo mongoose that saved my life." "" rii-Kliit Iti-Rrrr. Once, every seven or eight years somebody perpetrates nn Ingenious fraud In collegiate 'degrees. Thoivle-v tms are supposed to bo educated men, hut thoy aro us easily gulled aa In-, nocent mossbneks. Hitherto tlie de gree moot In demand has bcon "M. l." Every quack In the country could get ono for u few dollars. A "Professor" In Massachusetts sold thousands some years ago. No ono ever thinks or OBklng tho bearer of honors by whom they wero , conferred. Tho question would look llko an Impertinence. Tho latest victims, tho "reverends," are un deserving of sympathy. Every ono buying a "D. IV should ho retired from tho pulpit. It this thing con-. Unites I shall expect to see all degroo men required to append tho name of their university to their honors, ns Jonathan Hedwurds, LL. I)., Ynle; Chnrles Elbert Cartwrlght, il, D Har vard; tho Rev. Deechor Darby Van- dyko, Y). r Princeton; Ph. n Colum bia; I). C. L., Cambridge; n, ijt,( 0x. ford, etc. Now York Pros?. In tho year 11)00, out of 1,903 raldg 0n Illicit, stills, C73 were mado In (leorgla which la a prohibition state oxcejjt a to four of its cities. Lyt CiW1 An orator may spout like a whaU and still bo only u "eliarlc -4) 7 'v II ?.yjvreaiwwwnFTiJinirowiw.,w --t-j-