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About The Red Cloud chief. (Red Cloud, Webster Co., Neb.) 1873-1923 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 23, 1901)
Of nil who dwell upon t lie cm Hi
There' none I wish to harm,
Thore's none who, nccing inc appro icli
Need feel the lcnt idnriii: .
My heart i tilled with love for nil,
Save onn whom I detest
Hut, oh, the way 1 hate tint man -
Makes Up for all the rct'
I will not write Ids nntiie, lent he
Should chnmo to (mil my ihjiiio,
And learning of hi danger. Hit
1 To oino far distant rlitnr;
Hut jmt to show how he has used
Mo like a canine yellow,
Til give riiiiic rcamus wh I hate
Tliat horrid "oilier follow "
Mv trouble with him lirnt ticiiti
When wc were bo.vsat sclion',
lFn always won the iric. and
.Made me appear the fool;
And then nt ioIIolc hitrr on.
When readied llioyoar more incllnv?,
found the (tclioliuxhipM nil went
To him, the "other fellow."
By J. L.
T j T HH day nrior the
I .Tnreil Coombs
I oi'itlianecl children were sit-
" tins around the kitchen
Mine, try I UK, its Miirlhii, the oldest,
said, to "loot; the situation In the
Martha was sixteen yearn old: Ann,
I lu next oldest, wiih fourteen; then
there were three Utlc hoys Jerry,
Loander n nd Horace.
Tlielr mother Imd been dead three
years, ntul their father had been an
Invalid for two yours. He bud nt
one time boon a fairly prosperous man,
but not within the memory of bis chil
dren, and be bad never said much
about his "better days."
The people In the town where the
CoonibseH lived wondered vuguoly
"what In the woild those ehlhlreu
would do now," and Martha bad lain
awake nights trylug to solve the same
problem. Her mind was made up to
one tiling they woulii all "stick to
gether." The house of four rooms, In which
they lived, was their own, and Martha
bad exactly twenty-five dollars In the
The day after Mr, Coombs' funeral
was raw and dull. One of Hie neigh
bors bad made Martha promise to
come to her bouse for dluuer, and
bring all or the other children with
"Everybody lias been so kind," said
Martha to her ulster and brothers.
Mlic bad In her lap some papers that
she bad taken from the tin box lu
which her father bad kept them for
years. Most of them were yellow
with age, and some of them fell apart
at the creases when they were un
folded. Koine had seals, and were
clearly legal papers; others seemed
In be old notes and bills, and there
were n good many business letters.
Ah Mr. Combs bud told Martha that
none of tins papers were of any value,
and had advised her to burn them,
hhe now removed it lid of the kitchen
Move and began to drop them, one by
one, on the coals. She bad burned
must of them, when she picked up u
folded paper, on the back of which
was written lu her father's hand:
"This man I trusted above all others,
and my loss of coutldeuce in him
grieves me more than the loss or the
mouey be should have paid me. Hut
on what I know to be my death-bed.
I forgive Justin yc all the loss and
sorrow ho has caused me."
"Iither could never bold a grudge
against any one," said Martha to her
self, ns she unfolded the paper. She
spread the document out on her knee.
II was a promissory note for live tjiou
Mind dollars, signed by Justin I), (lye.
II had no ludorsor, and Mr. Coombs
bad written In red Ink across the face
or It this single word, "Outlawed."
Martha looked nt the date of the
note. It was thirty years old.
"I wonder who this Justin D. (!yo
was, and I wonder what 'outlawed'
means," said Martha. "I'm going to
ask Mr. Mnrstou about it when we go
over there to dinner, and I am going
to keep this nolo, because, wlien I
think of It, t don't believe there Is
another Hue of poor father's hand-
.writing In the bouse."
Mr. Murstoti told Martha Hint the
word "outlawed" written on thu note,
mean that the money due could not
be collected by law, and that a mitu
was worthed after a certain number
"If your fr.thcr has written 'out
lawed' on the note, It Is of no vnlm',"
concluded Mr. Mtirtitoii.
"Hut ii promise to pay ought lo be
good at nny time," said Martha.
"ll ought to be. but unfortunately It
Isn't good In the written law. The
moral lnw Is another matter," said
When Martha went back home she
took thu note from Hie drawer In
which hIiq bud placid it. and read
It again. A'.fow minutes later shu
busied herself with some kitchen
duties. Her pantry shelves needed
dean papers on theui. Martha re
, moved tho things from the shelves,
and tool; several paperH from a bundle
Mrs. Murston had given her. Hhe was
cutting n btrlp from a nowspaper,
when her oyo fell on this paragraph:
"Mr. Justin l. (Sye. who has within
the past live years realized a fortune
of fully a million dollars from bis In
vestments In Western mines and real
estate, proposes to erect :i magnificent
liouso on (laynor Hill."
. Martha looked nt the title of the
When eollcgp iln.v wrie o er, and I
To find n job Net out.
To my dinml I learned that he
Knew what I nni nlMitil:
He'd managed to obtain the Mart
ll' telephone came. "Hello! t
We're iiwfullv oorry, hut we've jut
l.'ngngrd the 'other fellow."
And then -oh crtielel Mow of nil'
When love Ipid pierced mv he.it t
And I went hewing Aluue Hell
To tako iivvity the Mtinil,
When I itiiplorcit her to he mine
Mueh gold she had and yellow; -
She let me know, oh, wretched girl!
Miie lovoil tlii! "otlitr Irlloiv.
Now, lell me. don't you think that I
lime (.him.1 to luite tins nun,
Who lie in wuil nl even tutu
nt me if he vaai f1
mid fall into my ImiiiIi '?'
lo him howl and hello w
If he hou
I l inak
I wonliln't do u iIiIiil' lo him!
('oufinind Hint "othei fellow!"
Williiim Wallace Wliitelotk, in Life.
paper and rrad. t!p LoulsLomtgli Ca
"It's the town where father lived
before be and mother were married.
I "mn sun Unit Justin D.Yyo and the
mini who signed his name to that note
are the same. And he Is worth :.
She took her scissors, and cut out
the Hues she had read TI.cn she gol
an old atlas and looked up the city
"It must be a long distance f "inn
lure," she said, with a sigh. "If It
were only nearer, I do believe I'd go
and remind Mr. (!ye of his 'promise
lo pay' and ask him If be thought It
had beeii 'outlawed' In the shjlit of
All day she pondered over what she
had read. Toward evening she had
(o go down to one of the village stores.
She was pasting the railroad station,
when nit Idea suggested Itself to ber.
"I'll go lu and usk the agent If he
can tell nib bow far It Is to Louis-
borough, and how much It would cost
to go there."
Tho Information she received was
discouraging. It would cost at least
"And that l.i every dollar we have
lu the world," said Martha. "111 have
to give It up,"
Hut the more she thought about' It
the less willing she fedt to give ll
up. On the morning of the third day
she said to her sister:
"Ann. do you think that you and the
little boys could get along without me
for two or three days and nights If I
got Jane Lewis, the seamstress, to
come In and stay nights wtth you';"
"I'd rattier have Iter than any one
c1m but where are you going, Mar
"I'm going to a place called Louis
borough on it matter of business," said
Martha, with a sense of Importance.
She would have liked to keep her
going a secret, but this was Impossible
lu u little town like Osborne. Hy the
Huns she wan ready to start, the entire
village knew where she was going and
wllh what purpose. The general
opinion was that Ii was "a fool's
crraud," but Martha was not to be
It took her n day and a nigh! to go
lo Louisborougb. She' bad never been
In Mich a large city, and the hurry
and bustle confused her. Some lu Os
borne had told her to ask a policeman
bow to Hud Mr. (lye's house, and when
sue saw a bluo-coutou ottlcer at one
end of the station platform, she went
up to him iiutl said:
"Can you tell me where Mr. Justin
1). (.'ye HvesV"
"He lives three or four miles from
here, miss, but his place of business
Isn't more than live minutes' walk."
"I don't think that I want to go to
his house. I want to m'o him on ou
"Then you'd better go to his olllee.
(lo right up thN street until you come
to IC street. Half a hliK-k down that
you'll come to a big marble front
building. Take the elevator nud the
elevator boy will show you Just where
Martha's tlinld. forlorn appearance
appealed to this big guardian of the
law. and ihoved lilin to be thus ex
plicit. It wan well for Martha ihat she
did not hear him say, as he moved
"What can she want wllh old Gyo?
If she's on a begging errand, she'd
better save her breath."
Martha easily found the marble
building, and her heart began to lint tor
u little when she saw a shining brass
plate at the side of the doors with tho
name .itislln I). Ciye ou It In black
letters-. Below the plate sho read,
"Booms til i.ud lid." '
She did not talc the elevator, but
climbed the nimble stairway, and at
the head of the llrst Might she found
rooms Jl and 'M, with (lye's mime ou
An utmost Irresistible Impulse lo'llee
from the place and take the tlrst train
for Osbor.ie seized Martha, The very
utmosphero of the place chilled and
depressed her. Its marble splendor
made her realize her shabby appear
ance. Her dusty, worn old shoes
looked out of place ou the uiarble
floor. The cheapness of her black
skirt, her worn Jacket and faded straw
hat Impressed Itself upju her. Her
ungloved hand trembled as she laid It
ou the shlnlui; brass door knob.
In the room 'she entered half n
dozen clerks were at their desks and
:,Sf"i3AySL !i t ' .ifi" ..
I hero were oilier clerks tu a room be
yond. A boy In livery cnine forward
mid asked her whom she wanted to
"Mr. ('ye." leplled Mnrlliu. 'Wi
"He's busy," was the reply. :
"I could wait," said Martini
"Have you a card lo send lni"
"No," replied Mnrtha, with n blush.
"You'll have to send in your name
"My name Is Martha Coombs."
The boy motioned toward three or
four ohnlivf near the door.
"You can sll down mid wait, mid
I'll take lu your name when Mr. Uye's
present caller goes."
.Mail lnt wnllcd un hour mid a half,
dt ring which time she regained her
self-pnssesslon. Oilier poivons who
came In nud asked ,o see .Mr. t'ye were
told lo wait, nud they, loo, sat down
In the row of chairs near the door.
At the end of mi hour and n half
the boy omue r.p to Marllia and said:
"Mr. (lye says you can come in."
Hli" pasied Into lb- private imoiii. A
portly, pompous looking rum sat it a
rosewood desk, llltt man :er vuu al
most harsh, ns It- said: -.,,.
"You wauled to se i ieV htfiJkx'i
"Yes. sir." "
"I am rxtretiely br.sy and onn give
you but ti few minutes. What do yui
"I car.n from 'Csborm. which Is sev
eral hundred lilies froi.i here, to bring
. ou this."
Mnrtha walked rorwmd mid lauded
Mr. (lyj the ckl. fedei'. outlawed note.
S. c ijtoinl quietly by his desk mid
vntclicd him as he read ll.
"There Is Koi.ieihlng written cu the
ether aide, sir." she said quietly, when
he bad read thu note and let It fall,
ho took it up and rc,:id her father's
word: oil thu I aek of the ifote. Ills
hand trembled nud his eyes were
rowii(at when the note again fell to
Marllia fancied that he looked a
Utile pale, mid she saw him bile bis
lip under bis gray mustache. He put
one band over bis eyes. His other
arm fell heavily nt bis side. There
was silence lu the room for fully a
minute; then, with his band still be
fore Ids eyes, ha asked, In a hr.sky
"Where did you get this':"
"J found It among some (hi papers
of my father's, sir."
"Are you .lured Coombs' daughter?"
"And he Is living yet?"
"No, sir. He died tlve days ago, and
I brought the note to you because lu
died so poor that I bnve not a dollar
for the support of my sister nud my
three- little brothers, mid 1 want to
keep tbeni together If 1 can. 1 read
lu a paper about how prosperous you
were, sir, mid although the note Is
outlawed,' I felt that you might feel
willing to pay something ou It."
He look bis build from his eyes and
offered It to her.'
"You did right to bring ll to me."
he said. "Sit down ou this clinic and
tell me nbout yourself tun' your father.
He was n good man."
"He was, Indeed," said Martha, with
tears In ber eyes.
There were tears, too, in the eyes of
the man as she told him of her father's
disappointment, mid of the poverty In
which he had left bis children.
"They told me In Osborne," she said
lu conclusion, "that It would be use
less for ine to come here with an
outlawed note, but I did not think so."
"You were wiser than they," he said
gravely, but wllh n smile, "for I shall
pay every dollar of the note, with In
terest In full, mid even this will not
atone for my lack or duty in not
llndlng your father and paying the
note years ago. I shall see to Ii that
bis children shall luck nothing Hint
they need hereafter."
There was grout excitement lu Os
borne when Martha returned with the
news that she mid her brothers and
sister were to go to Louisborougb to
live lu a home of their own.
"There are splendid schools there.
mid Mr. (lye will be n friend to us.
I can't tell yon how kind he was, and'
I can never ue thankful enough that,
1 went to him with that outlawed'
note!" Waverly Magazine.
Moil Dui'iiiu riilillVHtlon.
'A young Parisian woman edits nud
manages wlint Is no doubt the most
daring publication lu the world. It la
circulated among members of the
light-lingered fraternity, the editress
being a kleptomaniac of no mean or
der, and also tin Inventor of several
devices calculated to assist ber sub
scribers In following their craft. Items
of Interest are solicited, and ir usorui
to "the trade" are liberally paid for.
The paper has no title and Is undated
ami unnumbered. The llluslrntlons of
touch gloves, false beards and other
novelties me reproductions of black
and white drawings made by the ci.'i
tor nud contributors.
The magazine otfers great assistance
to shoplifters who have had experi
ence In their profession. Every sub
scriber must have at least a year's
apprenticeship In crime. As Hie utmost
earn Is taken in Its circulation, this
linhpie inagiiidno has nourished for
several years and Is Issued nionthjy nt
SU a copy. London Publicity.
A (Jiuteful i:iciliniit.
Ill India elephants are as plentiful
as horses lu Denver. A certain ele
phant ii-ed to pass dully through, tho
market of AJneer. A klud-beartcd
woman who kept a stall used to glvo
bhi) a handful of i;ioeus. One day the
elephant got Into n great rage and
ilushed through the market, scattering
the crowd In all directions, Alarmed
like the rest the woman took itlght,
but lu her flight left her child behind
her. The maddened elephant camo
up to her baby, stopped lu his wild
High!, lifted the Infant gently with
t.!.j fti.miL- .111,1 1 .. 1.1 II- uiiCiW- .ill .1 ultill
In front or a house lu the neighbor
hood. Denver Post. -
,AM l iftiSlK. 't A-1' ' ih'.H fewfefet
All thing come lo (hone who go
after litem, muses Life.
(lOrmnus are stilt prejudiced against
corn as an article of food, except for
cattle mid swlue: but efforts are being
made lo overcome this prejudice.
As an evidence that lie Mexican He
public Is profiesslng it is only nects
sary to state that .he expenses of that
(overnment are over three times what
they were twenty years ago.
The Ideal city of the future will be
less noisy than the average city of to
day. Street cries of ear-splitting shrill
ness nud alt sorts of tumultuous
sounds will be l loderated by the next
After eight years of work on the innr
tnllly records of CPS'lOO person", I he
ncttairies of I'liglaml and .Scotland de
clare that the average length of hu
man life Is Increasing. This agree t'
with the conclusions cf Hi? y.vnl
Wheu ll Is coujlilered tl.al more
than V.MXXi.COO acres of laud In Hio
Suhani desert have been irdeeined and
art! ik,v highly productive through Ir
rigation, the water being derived from
artesian wells, there should not be
r.iv.cli dlscottragci.ieut -felt as to the
Dual redemption of the arid mid uci il
arid lauds of tuo Fulled Ntuto.'i.
1 1 Ilurope, particularly lu Knglaud,
It iripear.s to be recognized as a sort
of nrral obligation for men lo rcllr
from br.slnesa after accumulat'ii;; a
competence, to give the younger nun
a chance. 1 i (he United States, how
over, wllh Its boundless opportunities
a:id Ita i.iikI lace for weallh, no such
obligation Is recognized lu any degree.
The Kusshin!::at!on of Finland pro
ceeds apace. It Is now reported that
the Ittissluu (I'nvcrumcut will take pos
session of the custom Iioum's, ami
make the Finnish tariff mid customs,
sybtcui uniform with the Russian.
There will be little loft of Finnish In
dependencj save a memory. Hut (hat
memory will be forever coupled with
that of one of the most deplorable
pieces of subjugation lu history.
The beginning of national forestry
on t'.ie public domain will mnke open
ings for a great number of sturdy
young men who love the open air and
the free life of the forest, and who
nrc willing, after Hie expense of a
proper preparation, to work hard and
Tor long hours for small pay. The
forest ranger must not expect a large
salary, but. on the other hand, he will
not need It. Ho will have Utile use
for a dress coat: will have no oppor
tunity to Indulge lu riotous living, and
bis outlay for theatres and street-ear
fares will be nothing. There will,
however, be reasonable promotion
within reach of those who pinve (heir
illness. A large number of men will
doubtless bo 'required, mid at present
there are veiy few of these properly
Englishmen smile when you ask for
a copy of the Hrltish constitution.
That august document exists only lu
the Imagination, although It Is quoted
and discussed and appealed to fre
quently. It Is like the ghost of Ham
let's father. It has been mid It Is and
It ever shall be. but It Is an Intangible
thing. The British constitution con
slsts of the precedents established by
parliament during the last 000 years
a very complicated and Intricate
code, which may be ebnnged at any
moment in deference to public senti
ment or to meet new conditions mid
emergencies, but never to promote the
ambition of men. The voters of Eng
land tiro extremely sensitive and sus
picious. They keep good men In par
liament, but bad men cannot stay and
are seldom re-elected, writes William
K. Curt la. In tho Chicago ltccord
Herald. John W. r.onkwallcr. of Ohio, has
Just completed u H000-nii!e bicycle trip
through Southern Europe, during
which he traversed Italy, almost from
end to eni'l, crossed tin' Apennines,
went over the Saint dothnril range,
and wheeled over the mountainous
roads of Switzerland. Mr. Hookwalter
'spent the greater pari of his time liv
ing among and closely studying the
peasantry, and he N thoroughly con
vinced that a crisis Is Imminent be
tween l he urban ,1111(1 rural populations
of the wo-ld. In the rise In the juice
of grain he sees the beginning of a
struggle of the agricultural element
again the concentration of capital In
cities. This movement, he believes,
will begin lu America, where, he de
clares, the economic conditions-are In
ferior to those oC (icrmany and
France. I'rauce, ho nialuliiliis, Is the
soundest country in the world, owing
- U"trluMlmi or wealth between
I Ue agrariuu and metropolitan classes.
I L-. -Ah the $&-&
Wlmt llir llflUlen Learned al Sclionl.
With their blight f.uei tied in their tidy
The l),ii-le went tioopiui: to school. ,
When they spied u v tiling lii, who cried
out. "l'erlmp .
Yon will help me gel out of this poolt
For fear I shall lind it loo cool,"
"Now, Lis, vc learned but a few days
The HaUies leplieil witli ic-jiet.
"Th.it your grcut-gic.il-graudrimc w.u a
iniiihow, and no
You iuikIiI lo he fond of the wet;
HeiiilC'", it ii fooli-h to fict."
Then the Daisies trooped iheeiily on in
I lie sun.
While the his divvv bat I; in Hie shade:
She let the tool xtream 'gainst her jneoii
g.u incuts i un,
And she tuced her blue plumes a she
"Jut to llinik that a D.iUy can't wade!"
- Chi istiau Kcgiflcr.
A very ordinary looking farm horse.
har.iesM'd to an old wagon, stood by
the curb, end on the board that served
for n seat lay a small dog of such
mixed blood Hint no guess could be
made iws to his breed. As a delivery
wagon passed on Hie opposite side of
the street, a large red apple foil off.
Hofore It stopped rolling, the dog
bounded aerosit the street, picked II up
with his teeth, mid wllh tail wagging,
rushed back to the horse. In front of
It he stood up ou bis hlmlMcgs, while
the horse took the apple from his
rn 'Hli. As the horse munched the ap
ple he made the peculiar little noise
thai horses make when petted, and
doggie replied with throaty little barks
which plainly told what a pleasure It
had been to go after that aiplc. Then
he went back to bis place ou the
wagm seal. Youth's Companion.
Young Clock Maker.
Atlanta, Cn., hoas. of some inge
nious and ambitious boys, since two
lads of that place, the older but four
teen and the younger eleven, have de
signed and constructed a clock thai Is
a wonder of painstaking work.
It contains olor "00 pieces of wood,
all of them cut from boards with a
small foot-power scroll-saw, mid af
terward sand-papered mid put togeth
er with screws and mucilage.
The clock represents a cathedral,
from the dome of which n bell peals
forth the hours of the day. Inside
the building the columns mid statuary
of a cathedral are reproduced lu wood.
The -clock Is Ii fly-one Inches high
and twenty-one Inches wide at the
base, mid the contrast lu colors Ik de
cidedly pretty, the wood used being
maple, -while holly and -walnut.
The llgures on the dial wore cut from
walnut with a pocket-knife, and look
attractive on the white holly.
Notwithstanding Hie simplicity of
the tools used, the boys have succeed
ed in producing a timepiece of which
they may be justly proud. It repre
sents tlielr leisure time after school
hours, for oilier work was not neg
lected during Its construction.
Unrolil In tlie Poultry ISiirlnc;.
Harold had long wanted some hon.
Ou his birthday mamma gave him two
"If I could." said Harold. "I should
like to buy eggs unil make nests mid
have these bens raise chickens. If
they would know how. Do you think
they would know how, inamniaV" he
"Yon," said mi
mamma, "mid that Is
the very reason 1 gave them to you.
I thought you would like to go Into
the poultry business."
Harold was as pleased as he could
be. He fixed nests and gave his hens
thirteen eggs apiece.
The hens sat three weeks. Harold
tended tliom a great deal. He would
go out to, look at thi;m the Inst thing
at night before he went to bed, and
the tlrst thing In the morning when ho
go! up, and he fed them and watered
thoni every little while. When the
time wun up he looked to see them
come on' with largo broods, but they
only hatched one chicken apiece.
Harold felt bad, of course, but he
tried to make iho best of ir.
"How glad I am they hatched two'."
The heim were very proud. Harold
said he didn't wonder, thu chickens
were so pretty. They were liwth yel
low mid looked exactly alike. Harold
said he thought they had very pleas
ant dispositions. Ho su Id he would
rather have two sweet-tempered chick
ens than twenty-six that were dls'u
grcouble. Ilitt otie day something happened.
Harold came Into the house with his
eyes full of tears.
"Maniina." he cried, "the meat
wugon'tt horse has kicked oiiu of my
chickens and killed it accidentally!"
Mamma hurried out. It was Just 'tis
Harold had said.
After that both hens claimed the
cithkeu that was left nud clucked and
scratched for It In tho daytime, and
took turns hoveling It .it night, or so
Harold thought. Ho helped them take
euro of It, too. and altogether they
gave It n very good bringing up.
"It's lucky wo didn't .have twenty
six chickens," said Harold one day, as
he looked at his treasure. "Wo'vo had
our bauds more Hum lull looking after
this one." Youth's Companion.
Itot'kn null TtleaU,
IIo who, linvlng lost one Idenl, re
fuses, to glvo his heart mid soul to an
other and u nobler, Is like n man who
declines to build a house on the rock
because, thu wind and ruin have ruined
Ids housu ou the saud, The Congrcgn
Huunllsl. - - .
Oh, the sold nud piuplc uniic J a love
ly thing lo see,
When the indinul rait with WAUim;
light is glowing.
When the happy songnteM enrol m each
And the roihter bin uluill elation is
blowing. t . . . , ,
There's a tnaip'c fuoeinalion m the fnsl
And the rugged outlined Mountain
peaks that st recti it.
There k n glory in a stiuine that will
chaim the ihilhst one
Tnto iapiuio-n I've hiaid I've never
Virtue, toil nud self-denial nhvuy bring
their own rewind,
Kightecn hums m ton short n day for
Man is happicM when working nl a job
so good anil Iiat tl
That it couldn't he ueioinplished tiylm
Souls are brightened ami ennobled 1"
And a mire is bet enjoyed h. tho-e
who've won it.
Digging in from dawn till bedtime hiiu,n
To the digger o I've he ml I've never
.1. .1. .Montague, in Portland Ortso:iiau.
Sue "Hut why do you want lo put
my picture lu your wutcht'" Tom "He
ouiio you are a jewel." Philadelphia
Judge-"Have you formed any
opinion ou this case':" Wotildbelgli
Juror "No. sir: I haven't mentioned
It to my wife." Smart 'Set.
"1 would not live nlvvny,"
The poet sadly vviotc.
He went to row that day.
And some one rocked the boat . 4 ,
She "If 1 hud known what a fool
you wero I never sliould have married
you." lie "You might have guessed
It when 1 proposed to you." Philadel
Ilorciu "Scribbler, they tell me, Is
now quite a literary light. I must
call on him." AYIgwag "Even it liter
ary light may bu out when you call."
"What is a fort?" asked a teacher.
"A place to put men In." was the
answer. "What is a fortress, thonV
The answer was prompt: "A place
lo put women in." Tit-Bits. '
Oh. fortune is a little bail
or so the canny golfers say.
Some lightly loft it over nil,
And others foorle day by day.
She "Don't let my refusal of your
proposal embitter you. Mr. Slinpklns."
Ho "No, no. After all, It Is some
thing to have been oven rejected by u
girl who owns a .foOO dog." Detroit
General "Slop that reporter." Aide
"What! Don't you want to have him
send homo an account of your hero- '
lsinV" "No. 1 flon't want to be nn
American hero for n week and a C
punchlng-bng for the rest of my life."
"What is your favorite dish?" In
quired Mrs. rrontpcvv of the llev.
Lotigface, the new pastor. She felt
sure It was chicken, but It proved not.
"Er the contribution plate," answered
the Hev. Longface, absently. (Ohio
"A local schoolboy, his examiner
tells mo. in an excreltc-lctter the other
day. commenced his epistle with, 'Dear
Tommy, we was glad to iceeivo your
welcome letter telling nbout Hie Mid
den death of your dear father.' "
Glasgow Times. 4-
Nervous Ludy Passenger (to deck
hand) "Have you ever seen 'any wor&u
weather than this. Mister SallorV"
Deck Hand "lake ti worn ircm tin
old salt, mum; the weather's never
very bail while there's any fouialcH
nu deck n-mnk-ln' hunqulrios about
"Oh!" gasped the beautiful woman
as sho' fell back, clutching at her heart
and permitting tho telegram to ilutter
lo the tloor. Her fashionable guests
rushed forwmd, crying: "What Is ItV
Has your husband met with an ace."
dent?" "No no," she niouncd; "It l.s,
from my son-in-law. 1 am a grand
mother." Chicago Hecord-Hcruld.
"Just remember," said tho man who
makes every one suffer when he is un
comfortable, "that irritability is now
said lo bo disease." "And also remem
ber," said tho man addressed, as he
reached for a club, "that sonic discuses
require heroic treatment." Thus It hap
pened that the value of tho mind euro
was demonstrated and the disease
did uot develop. Chlcngo Post.
"They tell mu that Boston has the.
most polite mini in the country." sali
ii merchant. "Ho was run Into by un-'
other nmn ou tho street, and tipping
his hat, said: 'if I ran into you I beg
your pardon. If you run Into me, don't
mention It.' Hut I have a man Hint is :t
daisy. Ho Is our agent in a Northern
town, and for some reason or other wo '
failed to lcmlt to him last month. Yes
tot day he wrote: 'Paidou me for tho
Intrusion, but for fear you may think
you have forwarded my usual remit
tance mid are, wondering why I do not
acknowledge receipt, I humbly beg to
upprlso you that I have not received
It!' Now that man got bis money b.y.
return mull." Iudlnnapolls News. ,
Art shows us when nature Is artistic,
and nature shows us when art Is nat
ural. Cultivate n gentle voice; ou tua
other band, don't mumble.
Ah a rule It Is geuerully foolish peo
ple who look wise.
We want all ineu to bo happy, ami
then we dislike meu who scorn iintls
tied with themselves. Chicago Record-Herald.
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