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camftACE.
5ST JIT BOBIKT 1UCKAT, IN aUCCMH.
rCourane! Bcl of our joy and woes!
- L en in tho darkest hour of cnrthlv ill.
Ivevcr undiuimcd, the welcome beacon
Blown,
Throbs with each pulse, and beats with
evety thrill t
Wright o'er the wasted scene thou hov-
ercft till.
', Angel 6f comfort to the falling Mid.
Uudauntcd by the tempest wild and
dull,
Whose angry mid dkntrniu billows loll.
And taint what thou hast done with
death nnd dole!
.o(Fff!?
TTTHY us hard as they might,
I tlio professors nl Bradford
VI were powerless to slop haz
J" lug in the famous old Inxtl
lullon. It seemed :ih much ;i part of
I ho undergraduate life ax weekly rad
iations In the science or classics. No
one could tell when the custom orig
inated, aud surely no one had prophet
Ic vision keen enough to ptedlct wlieu
It would end. To nil iippenriuiceH the
spirit of hazing was a part of the col
lege endowment.
As class after class graduated, the
trndltlous of sophomore dmliif; in
creased until it bccauii! the nmblllou
of every underelnsinan to leave a roe
ord of "Bloody Monday" doings unsur
passed by uuy previous class.
"I tell 5'ou, fellow."," exclaimed
ltalph Qllnuui. the son of the prosl
dent, leaning against the bookcase In
Cyrus Downlng's room, where they
lind gathered for consultation Hie Sat
urdny before thu meinorable "Bloody
Monday," "I tell you we mint do
something out of the ordinary this
year. There's no use talking, we must
P eclipse last year's class or we'll be the
laughing stock of the college. Cot
Jiny plans, you fellows;"
There was a stir from the corner by
the radiator.
"I have," and a plainly dressed boy,
younger than most of the others pres
ent, slowly arose, ll was "Billy," as
the boys called him. William Dunlap.
who, to pay his way through college,
did various odd Jobs for different mem
bers of the faculty.
"Well, BlllyV" as Jtalph gave him
the floor. "Hoo your plan Isn't any
thing rash we don'l w.iut to run any
I risks," and he smiled meaningly to
' "Tom" Kills and Carl William on Hie
sofa.
"I boys, it isn't so easy to explain
us I thought 11 would be!"
flu rested his left baud on the table
besldo liltn. The eyes of all I he class
wero curiously turned his way.
"The fact or rather my plan. Is io
do away entirely with 'Bloody Mon
day night, and to stop hazing this
year, nud then to use our influence to
prohibit Its being practiced In college
in the future."
A murmur of surprise went round
Ihu room, followed bydeteriulned head
shaking. "Never!"
H "What do you mean-have us dis
graced as a das, nud a member of ii
the son of the college president';" ex
claimed Balph, fiowuiugly.
"That that's one of the reasons why
I suggested (ho plan," continued Billy
calmly. "That a member of the class
Is the president's sou aud If the con
temptible practice (you know the In
dignities wo were subjected to last
year) 1 ever to cent-e, H's the time
now to act. You know how the facul
ty feds nbout II. and how II worries
President Oilman, aud aud the dis
grace of It all. 1 say it ought to srop
It's gonn far enough!"
ft There wan silence for n moment In
the room, ltalph was the (list to speak.
"I partly agree with the gentleman
who has Just spoken hazing J-m't a
coveted honor to the school, I admit.
I think wo lost a number of students
rhls year Just on that account. You
know the Packard boys went to Tip
ton, aud three of the class who grad
uated from Hudson eiiteied Knox. If
It's thought best after this -.car to act
us Billy proposes, we'll do II, but not
this fall. They'il all say 'I was because
1 was n sophomore, and I was com
pelled by my father's position to per
Ntiade the class to give up hnxlug. and
.A that would put us all In an unfavor
able light a sort of dldn't-dnre-posl-tlon!
I for one am htrcnnmisly op
posed to taking any Mich action as
would lead to such a cnnduslou."
"So mn I!" "And I!" "And l-we
all are!"
"No; we are not nl leasl, I'm not!"
and Billy remained firm lu Hie Mllludc
he hiid taken.
"We scent to bo pretty much of one
mind." said ltalph, after quiet was
again restored. ".Vow, If there is no
other plan' for next Monday, I have a
proposal to make,
fr "By Monday night the workmen
ivUI-Uavc got the ditch dug from the
htrcrt tu ns far as North CMege,
where, they are going to lay tlu; pipe
tor tho nqw bathrooms, and I think
Will be the greatest scheme to "
"Who'd ever thought of that!" Inter
rupted a chorus of vokes, as lialph's
I
fcchomu suddenly flashed upon them,
"Oo on-go on!" shouted others who
had not cpnwrelioudrd the plan.
'ftapli has thu floor!"
"As I was saying. It In jusl the thing
Mv uk to make use of on 'Bloody Mou-
Tiny.' Wo can take tho fellows not
nil. of course, but only thu 'freshest'
-aud bland thcui up lu a row lu the
m a i T -v .ii a i i u l-o. 11 .' x.;,.
When sonow tend the heart with fever
mil pain,
And wrings hot dropn of anguish from
t , the brow.
lo soothe the mud, to cool the burning
lnnin,
O, who mi welcome and no true as thou!
llie battle a blood-dimmed cne and au
giy lnw, -The
dcathonciwlcd pillow of diatrcM,
the lonely moment of secluded woe.
Aliko thy guidance and thy woith con-fcs.
Alike thy alor and thy
f i icndsln'p
nie.
ditch, and 1111 Hie eailh back lu around
them, leaving only their heads ex
posed. 'Twill be great when the fel
lows get about In the morning So see
the campus grown up head1-!"
"Whom had we belter put InV" was
the excited query of a number of the
boys.
"The president of the class, of course
(Icorgc Peterson, and Krauk Clark
anil Chillies .Mason -'(won't do to
leave him out Henry Hammond and
anybody suggest any one else;"
"Kdwnrd Stanley what's the uiatler
with him!"
"He mustn't escape -wonder 1 hadn't
thought of him!" exclaimed Balph.
Kdward Stanley why, boys," In
tel posed Billy, hurriedly, "'twould bo
the death of him-to be kept out nil
night exposed In that way! Don't you
know he's just recovered from n dan
gerous lllnes 'twould cause his
"IlKADY." AND THBV
death, aud the class would be his
nitir "
"He's mi far lecovercd as to get the
entrance prize away fioui 'Dick' Far
well, who's from our own preparatory
school," Interrupted Balph, sarcasti
cally. "I guess he can stand It If tho
other fellows can. From 31 or V2,
o'clock till daylight Isn't long there'll
be enough about to dig them out by
that time!"
"I'm sorry for one (hlng, boys, and
that Is, I utn'i be with you during the
whole performance on .Monday night
- have got to take the 11.. 'Id express to
do an errand for father. Ho wants me
to lake an Invitation lo Judge Cornish
he's (he oldest member of (he (ma
Ices, you know to be present at tho
dedication of the uew library. But
I'll get some of (he fun, and will be
back the next foienoon for sonic of
the glory!"
"Yes we must put In Stanley."
whimpered ltalph, deieiiuliiodly, on
Monday evening afler they had burled
up to ids head the proMdont of the
clns, "aud he'd better be the next
man in quite an honor (o be next (he
president, yet Stanley's an honor
man!"
'Come! we must hurry!" looking at
his watch. "I want to see ono more
lu Stanley's the man."
"I I'm willing to submit to any
thing, gentlemen, that won't injure
my health," declared Stunley, calmly,
as (he sophomores led hlin lo tho
ditch, "but to put me lu there lu my
condition would be "
"Ksi client! -- belter than a water
cure." Interrupted Balph, (ylng his
arms.
"Heady!" Aud (hey lifted Stanley
In nud began throwing (he earth about
him.
'There good-bye, fellows. Must
hurry lo catch my train. Wish I
could see It out. Knjoy yourselves.''
Aud he was off.
if-fifi AfcM
&zy-0&z i
"" ."""' y yfm - -
"Weren't they a sight, I hough?'
laughed ltalph Oilman, as he sat In
the (rain the uevl forenoou, on his
way back to Bradford.
"'Twits the moil comical (hlng I
ever saw."
"All about the halting awful acci
dent old In the .Totiriuil three cents
u copy!" called the newsboy, as he en
tered the train.
Balph almost sprang from his sent.
"A Journal, please."
With trembling hands he hurriedly
held up the paper befoie him. Ills
eyes caught the headlines. The paper
dropped to the lloor.
"Freshman Killed by Hazing!"
"It-It's Stanley-oh! nud I "
lie made a motion again (o take up
(he paper.
"I I cait'l I know It all no use to
read III" Aud he raised his hand to
ii his head. "I I am to blame, and-
aud rather at the head of the Institu
tion that makes II doubly culpable.
"Oh, father!" ami Itnlph bowed his
head on the seat lu front of him and
didn't look up till he heard the brake
man call "Bradford. Bradfonll"
Almost too weak to stand ltalph
picked up his gilp and started for the
door.
"The police will be (Here when I get
off," he thought, nnd he could see Ids
father's haggard face among them.
"I I could have used my Influence to
prevent it the boys didn't want to
put Stanley In.".
"Why!" Balph stopped, almost
dazed. "There's nobody here only
the usual number of passengers going
(o Carvllle. They probably tele
graphed to hold me at Auburn, aud
missed me."
"Carriage? Have a carriage?"
But Balph preferred (o walk. "I
I'll get there soon enough without rid
ing," he groaned as het left (he plat
form. Billy was the first one he met on
reaching the campus.
"What what's the matter, old
man?" exclaimed Billy, reaching out
his hand to Ralph. "You look as
though why, man, -what Is II?"
"Needn't try to hide It, Billy. I
know all nbout It. What have they
Lfi'TRD STAXLFA IN.'
.done? Any of tho others- injured?
seen rattier? '
Ul- ... . . i
.:iiw nun nc prayets same proxy
he was yesterday. But what do you
moan ny ttie otnera being Injured, and
all that sort of thing?"
"Why. Stanley he-he's dead!"
"Dentil ivonscnsc! lie wns nllvc
cuougli only ten minutes neo-and
that's saylm; n good deal after one's
being In 1'iofessor Taylor's clues for
an hour."
"I I thought-hnven't you seen the
Journal?''
"Oh, I see! Why, man, that -wasn't
htantey. in fact, it wasn't anyone
here-'twas at Har(laud. Prexy-ex-ctibu
me Dr. Oilman spoke of' it at
prayers. Didn't "you rend tho whole
account?"
"No; I-I (bought 'twas Stanley."
"It might have, been, If after tho
boys had gone I had not "
"Dld-dld you release them?" in
terrupted ltalph, catching hold of
Billy's arm, his tone a tremulous pray
or of thankfulness,
"One of them and then (hoy re
leased each other."
"That-that will be (he last hazing
at Bradford!" exclaimed Itnlph, with
tears In his eyes, "If I can help If."
It was-aud'not even the, faculty tin
derstQod, the reason for It. Only Billy
knew why the president1 son used
evpry Juflueneo Jn his power to eradi
cate the custom. Adelbert P." Cald
well, In tho Chicago Becord-Herald.
Wbr UU ClevcrticM Ctaatil,
Alcxauder William Klnglake, author
of "Kothen" aud '"History of (he War
la the Crimea," was uo admirer of tho
dally press, oven lu early days. Once,
loofclujt t old Mr. VIUIcth, then father
or the Commons, he remarket) -with his
meditative drawl: "A clover man, a
very clever man, before ho softened
his bralu byinudylnctbe. newspaper."
Argonaut, , --,
S- '
THE LAZIEST CREATURES.
Indolent Aquatic I'owl Arc Found on
Shotei of Wrttcrn I.akea.
"During the recent trip through the
lower western section of the country,"
said n young man who had recently
returned to New Orleans. "I hollow 1
discovered the laziest and most stupid
form of life to be found anywhere on
the globe. It was an niitintlo fowl.
Willi a big. clumsy-looking beak, lu
form something like (he dodo, now ex
tinct. 1 hare spent some time In
watching this fowl, which Is found -In
some of the shallow IiiIum, and the
chief point of Interest to me was the
startling stupidity displayed. They
generally squat on stumps or logs In
the lake and watch for the smaller
llslt that play around the surface of
tho water. They are faltly clover In
catching what they want, and they
throw out their hill with considerable
precision, when they dig for game, and
they never get to eat what they catch
until they have fed ut least one and
mnybe more than one member of an
other kind of water fowl. Whenever
n shag begins to caleh llsh a long
legged water hen will take a place Im
mediately behind him. When the shag
lands the llsh the water hen simply
reaches over and gels It. Without
any show of losentmeul and without
turning urouiul the shag will continue
Its watch for llsh. and this Is kept up
until the water hen has flushed Its
meal, and then, If no other enterprls-
Jng member of the same Irlbe conies
along, (he shag Is permitted Io enjoy
the product of Its own sleepy efforts.
I have, on one occasion, seen one shag
feed as many ns three water lioun be
fore eating a single llsh. It Is cer
tainly a singular display of stupidity,
nnd after having watched the per
formance a number of times I am con
vinced that the shag Is actually too
dull (o even know' that the water hen
stands behind him to steal the fish out
of his monlh. New Oilcans Times
Democrat. 'lliry Knjojecl Tlienuelte.
The senior partner of a large busi
ness concern not a hundred mites
from Manchester takes a kindly Inter
est In the welfare of his employes, nnd
never misses an opportunity of "bring
lug them on," ns he terms II.
The otlrr day an Industrial oud Hue
art exhibition was held in u neighbor
ing town aud he accordingly arranged
for a number of his work people to
pay a visit there aud Ihereby Improve
their minds. The party, conducted by
their foreman, duly went, and returned
highly delighted with (heir day's out
lug. But when (he senior partner saw
the foreman on the following morning
the Interview, Mioil as It iva., gave
him n shock.
"Well, I) ," he Logan, "nud how
did you gel on yfstrrdny? See all
there was to be seeu, eh? I'hk up
some new Ideas?"
"Yes, sir, .thankee, sir," responded
the foreman, cheerily, "and u very
iilco time wo had, sir. It was this
way. When we got to the exhibition
we wns considering whnt was best to
be done, so wo appointed n depportu-
tlon o' three to see what It wore like,
and when they conies out nnd says It
were nil pictures nud sculptures wo
thought It n pity to spend our shlllln's
on "em, f-o Ave went to it ten garden
and 'ad n blow on the river, sir. and
worry pleasant It all were, sir. Than-
Kt'U UIUUIV, sir; 'il-will1. j
to
The Colonel' Auiwer.
I.lcuteuant-Colouel Hugh I, ftcolt,
of the United States Volunteers, for
merly captain of tho Seven Hi Cavalry,
is known In the army as an olllccr
who probably knows more nbout In
dian sign htugungc than any or her liv
ing man. At one time Colonel Scolt
I made a standing offer to any redskin
wno couiu show a sign ti3cd by any
tribe which ho did uot know. The col
onel Is also peculiarity absent-minded,
a fact which was emphasized at his
marrlago a few years ago.
As ho stood at the altar with his
bride, (he officiating clergyman asked
him the usual question ns to tak'ug
the woman beside him to be his wife.
Thu colonel placed two lingers upon
his left eyebrow. After an embarrass
ing pauso tho clergyman repeated the
question, and, again the two lingers
weut solemnly to tho left eyebrow. It
was not until the best man poked the
bridegroom in the ribs that he came
back to -earth and articulated
III "."
j.-.o rollowlug incident occurred not
long ago ut a school In Hie suburbs of
London, at the time of the annual In
spection. One of the lower grades -was belug
examined by the inspector lu gram
mar, the points especially dwelt ou
being those of gender and sex,
The examiner, in order to see If the
youngsters had nu Intelligent idea of
thu subject, said:
"Now, which sex do you belong to,
boys?"
This question seemed to stagger (he
class, and for a moment or two silence
prevailed; till of a sudden a youngster
put up his baud, at which the Inspec
tor said:
"Ah, my boy,' whut sex do you be
long to?"
"If you please, sir, I belong to Mid
dlesex!" was the quick reply. Tit-
lilts.
.tu-
CovMn't FoullOlui.
'4 gentleman one day saw a boy
peeling the bark froni one of his choice
trees with a hatchet. Tho gentleman
tried o catch tho boy, but the latter
was too quick for ifm, so the fnruier
changed hla tactics. "Come hore, my
little sou,'' ho said, in n soft, tttito-llko
voice, with counterfeited friendliness.
"Come hero to mo a minute, I want
to tell you something."
"Not yet," replied the recipient.
"Little boys like mo don't need to
know ovorytulntr." Glasgow Times. J
A in ii steal llsh has been discoroiod In
lower California. II must be tine to
hear it run Its scales.
It Is estimated that one crow wilt
destroy 700,000 Insects lu n year, and
yet there are nbout 700,000 Individuals
struggling to destroy that one crow.
The ltusslan (lovet nnieiil gives n
gold modal to every couple Hint cele
brate their golden or diamond wed
ding. Last year (lit couples iccelved
medals.
A Human sclcnlNt announces Hint
ho has dlseovetod n bean lu South
Africa that answers all the lequlie
inontH of n perfect nutriment. Bos
ton confidently claims to have dis
covered that bean years ago.
The Christian Bvglster thinks Hint
It Is still possible lit the whhl and
rush of modern nlTalrs to live ns If life
wore worth living for Its own sake.
Nature Is still omnipresent, ami offers
her delights (o all who have eyes lo
M'o nnd ears to hear.
The time Is oomlng when there will
be millions lu corn. If Colonel Sellers
wero on earth to-day Hiore Is Utile
doubt (hat ho would begin planting
corn on a huge scale. The value of
the corn crop of the Culled Slates Is
ISO!) was SO'JO.'-MO.l 10. or more Hum
double the gold output of the whole
world.
Our British kinsfolk at various Union
have had amplo reason to bemoan
scanty harvests, but America has nl
ways boon eager to supply dollcienclcs.
Now It. Is reported that the crop or
Eugltfch curates Is falling short. If our
Old World cousins really need niiy help
from this productive country lu tilling
their pulpits, the I'ultcd Stales Is
ready to ship large cargoes of curalc.:
at abort notice,
It is probably line that nlmosl every
man has In him certain qualities which
would draw some woman to him, but
It Is dilllcult to framu a statement lu
general terms or "What Women I.Ike
in Men." This Is the (ask which a very
well-known author, under the noni-de-plunii!
of BniTord Pyke, has under
taken lu the Cosmopolitan lu n clover
essay, which proves him (o have made
women the subject of thorough obser
vation nnd comprehensive study. "The
foreign girl," says the author, "mar
ries the man with whom sho will be
happy, the American marries tho man
without whom shcwlll bo unhappy.
'A writer lu the Now Orleans Times
Democrat, in commenting on the
"pedigree fad" lu tho United Slates,
says: "Pedigreed horses, pedigreed
cows, pedigreed dogs, pedigreed hogs,
pedigreed cats nnd hnrcs-oveiythlng
must have a pedigree nowadays. And
when 11 comes to the human family,
the family tree is the (hlng-n sort of
genealogical bush with lho uu'tffcoota
nnd limbs named according io historic
connections. It has a humorous side,
and I imagine that tunny of the great
men who figured so CODsjiIciiousiy In
tho onily history of the American re
public would be very much Martlcd at
tho number of pcrsous claiming a
family relation. I have never bothered
much nbout my own lineage, except td
trace back to my great-grandparents
jn order to locale my nationality, but
my lot has been cast with persons
who are thoroughly Imbued with the
Importance or the family (roe, and in
nearly every Instance they have fig
ured (Icorgc Washington lu on the
deal. He Is by. far the most popular
American In this business. A conven
tion of his relatives in this country
would bo something ttcnuMidous"
Commcutlug on diplomatic life
abroad, Addison C. Harrlison, who was
lately United States Minister lo Aus
tria, said Hint he believed the United
States (.'overnment ought to provide
houses for Its diplomatic representa
tives. "When nn American minister,"
said he, "arrlrcs lu n slrnuge city. lie
should not hnve to begin his new
career by house hunting. Ours Is the
only tiovernmciit of Importance In the
wprld which docs not own Its legation
properly nt thu chief capitals, in an
old city like Ylcnua suitable houses,
are not very plentiful, and rent is so
high that it takes nil one's salary to
pay it. If the Government would sup
ply a hollas the salary (would do fah'ly.
well to live on, though It is iijnch less
than whnt other nations pay their
ministers. Moreover, ono lias to take
a foreign house with foreign furnish
ings nnd servants. I think It, would
be much better for (he country to have
a house furnished in American stylo.
II Is a large part of tho business or
minister to receive tho Americans who
como to the city, and It would bo more
hospitable to take them Into a house
which reminded them of home."
A CRADLE SONG.
Haik to lho Ilooger-man's inatinuVrJni
(tend,
D1 By-low, my child I
Stealthily creeping a-nenror thy bed,
By-low, my ehlldl
See In giunl shadow athwart of I lie wall,
llony hamU thitihing to make thee his
Hindi.
Cover thy head, denrtttl lliuhl Do not
calf
-""..
My-low, my child!
Out in Hie hallway ate crouching the
Spuokx,
Hylow, inv Rwcol!
tlluitly and an in in their ulindotvy nooks.
lly low. mj Hwcctl
l.ll lo the iahp of their rattling bone,
Coupled with gulp of theirgurglliiRgroins!
I'liucr the coverlet! Smother thy moans!
By-low, my awcet!
Sec at thy wimlow the lieire Mitmmle
Bat, lly-low, my net I
I'oeiinir at tlicc tlitougli a chink in llio w
slat,
By-low. my net! '
Sharp ate his teeth in ho gnaws through
the blind,
Cruel bin elaw'H a they neck titer In find,
And if this doesn't liutli thee, I'c moid
of Hie kind!
Ity-low, my pet!
')h.f Lliailei A. roan, in fiicu.H i
Sapphrdde "I can safely say that I
know my own mind." Miss Cuustlquo
-'is that all?"
Hoax "Golf Is bad for (ho eye
sight." Joax "I thought golf players
had (o bu lynx-eyed."
Artist "My last' picture positively
can't bo Improwd upon." Critlc
"Graolous! Is it as bad as Hint?"
Though hick may play a ttliahhy tiitlf,
Don't rail with iinportunitj :
lor inn be, if ou itop to kick,
You'll niiii an oppoi (unity.
Wunhiiigton Star. .
Mr. Soflleigh (out horseback riding) '
"Shall wo take the In Idle path, Miss
Antique?" Miss Autlqite "Oh, tills 1m
so sudden."
Father "Wolli tny boy. any college '
debts;" Son "Npthlng, sir, hut what,
Willi diligence, economy and self-denial,
you will 1)2 nble to pay."
Nell "When he propusul the
(.napped lit id up. She had been -sing- .,
Ing lu a church choir for thirty years." "
Bellc-"Thc chants or ti lifetime, oh?"
U'h an eawy mailer lo find a way,
If n man only has (he will; - ,,
It's an easy matter to get uloag
After he starts downhill.
Chicago New,. i
"ifou don't seem to know Joke1," do- i
dared the humorist scornfully, us hU -manuscript
was handed back. "I knew
these," said the editor. "They're old
friends."
Mr. Golrox "Grnoluux! What Is
that noise downstairs?" Mis. Coti-ox
"Oh, it's nothing. I dure ray (lie
uew Kugllsli butler Is Just dropping :i
few h's."
Tess "I've got n new way to tell a
person's age." Jess "Is tfiu( mi? Will
you tell any one's ugu?" Tess "Yes."
Jess "Tell me yours, then." Philadel
phia Press.
"Homo sage has Mild that I lie great
rule of life Is 'know (hy.-elf.'", "I'oC;
but there should be it second title: 'Ami
when you know yoiirH.di don't (oil
what you know.' " .
"No, sir," said tho o'.d man wifli
emphasis; "my daughter shall never
leave the parental toof." "Good," re-
'Joined ths would-be soultx-law; "L
have uo objections lo licit. ,
"What Is it thai will Q dv'24
stove-pipe dowa, and 'tip- n s ovci.'ji''
down, ?.ut won't go up n fclovo-p'pc
tip or down n slow-pipe up?" "Give It
up. What Is it?" "Ah umbiolln."
"The number or people who spent:
Kugllsli," said the amateur stntlfllclan, '
"Is now 110,000,000," 'It is n won
der," Fitld the cynic, "some or them ,,
do uot find their way on to the singe."
Wlgg "Hero's an aitlcle lu the p.t-
per about u club or ncromititK that ,
meets In a balloon." Wagg-"Grac!ous!
I wouldn't want to belong to that nnd t
be dropped for nonpayment of ilusv.''
1 had a (beam tho other n'zht, '
And woke -up very note; .
1 ill earned 1 owned a gold mine, butrr
Alas! my dream is o'er.
-.Philadelphia llceou', "
Blohbs "What profession is your -,
sou going to follow?" Sloblis "He I. '
nuxious to be an iiciounut.'' Blobbs
"Well, that's otiu of thu professions in '
which there ought (o be pleuly of loutu
at the top." " -r!
How lln l"on nil lllm.
The following story Is told rouco'rn-
lug two sailors, who happened to)iu
ashore: ,
One or these decided that aftprVUlt
lug his own frlends'lie would .spend n
tsiw days with h's mcpsnuito. Airh-
Ing lu tho loenUJy of his mute's U'jun;
lie was horrltled lo find (hat he had v
forgotten the tiunfun- of the hous..
After asking lu vain, p'oltfcmou, post
men nud pedestrians ho caught sight
of a toy wluduilll man. nud balling
him he offered twopence for :i5"lijow
on bis bugle." t 4
Tho man agreed and jack tn fhtn
guvu the ship's call. 'A erqwj quickly
gnthoicd and starqd it tho' niuhli-iil
sailor. 'V
Immediately a window was thrown
up, nid a well-known vqlco vxt'laltripi
"Ship ahoy! . Why. nuttf, yiutr 'plpo'il
been wnlllng hours'." t''i.
Amid great ciiccr'ug o'f tile orowd.ius'$
very quickly Joined his friend aud'hls
pipe, London Spare Moments.
"Tbo Way lo W lu -Wouish
:
The (list thing a woiniin wants is to
I
le well treated: tc in n while sbj?
wan,B to lie Petted; (he thlul thlngf?
she wants to bo ndmlict!; Ihu fourth,
she never wants, to be contradicted.
The testimony of Dr. Popper, of San
I'rartclico.
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