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About The Red Cloud chief. (Red Cloud, Webster Co., Neb.) 1873-1923 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 2, 1901)
LOVE'S RUMMAGE SALE.
Promises broken mul nlinttercit.
Tokens in f.1 dinnrrav.
Lot tern nil crumpled mul BCfitlercd,
I'lirinuona intini, jmsse :
llnajia nit iv.lfjwt Atwl afnlfi t
Idol shorn down to the rlny
This is Ixivc's I'ummngc Sale!
Hearts tli.il arc twisted mid battered,
Funs Hint were thick in the liny,
Slinnctn that glided nnd pntleied, ,,
Olovca to foraclfulni'Ki prey; ,,
ItachcIotH wink in decay, r ,
Kldcrly maids that bewail,
Vnnltr, pride nnd display - I
'Dim Li Iiovo'n Rummage Salol
Meaningless words that hnvc fUllcrcd,
Trinlclctfl nnd ring thrown nway,
iVoivs that nre shop-worn nnd tattctrd,
Courtships that lasted a day;
Cab hills one never can pay.
Weddings that did not pi o vail,
Jctdousy, scorn nnd dismay
This is Love's Itiuutnagc Sale!
Princess, han't turned up your way
Tho heart that your glance did impale?
Buy it, 't is cheap enough! Aye,
Thin in Lovo's KuiuniaRn Sale!
Hirold MacUrath, in Puck.
Tlie Unwelcome Guest
Wfl tly rtorrc II. Ilnrnnnl. CW
WHEN Jim Busby returned
rout tin' West to his nu
tlvi! town of Canaan, ho
did not expect to (liul his
memory canonized. Klflcon years was
hardly enough time, ho thought, for
IiIh fellow townsmen to forget IiIh
fault" or enlarge upon IiIh virtues.
Douhltcru those people wore htlll ullvc
who, If they remembered the hoy at
Jill, would do It to their sorrow; Htlll
time ti.sitnlly softens grievances, mul
Busby, with the aid of his newly uc
((till I'd wealth, hoped to llnd Home
l.'lnd of qunsl welcome In the (iiilut
town under the oIuih.
lie hud never seriously injured uny
one, lie thought, nnd, although the vil
Inge dogs might bent ft luiKty retreat
on the return of thlH prince of practi
cal Jokers, the innjorlty of the inuabl
InutK llnd enjoyed lu full measure his
Husliy now grown up to wealth nml
dignity was not n little ashamed of
Ills early prankH, nnd liu determined,
us liu alighted from tlje stage and en
tered the city hotel, to Blgn Home tic
lltloua name and look cautiously about
the old place to ecu what Ills .standing
might lie among the saints at home.
He wan highly gratified to llnd the
town (mattered In any particular. Wc
like to boo change and progress In the
great world at large, but our native
place, where wc spent the happy yearn
of our boyhood, Is blessed with too
iiiitiiy memories to admit of any Im
provement. Bushy was thankful to tlnd the vil
lage, parson preaching the Hiime kind
of exclusive hereafter that had fright
ened hi m Into obedience fifteen years
before. He cougrntulnlcd himself ou
finding the old pump still yielding de
licious water from the same cracked
spout; to have repaired It would have
been an Impertinence liu felt. He
blessed the lazy and penurious school
directors for having failed to plug up
a idnglc knot hole lu the venerable
abode of knowledge where a succes
sion of pedagogical tyrants hud only
partly subdued his spirit of fun.
The extcrnul landmarks of Canaan
still stood Intact, but among the per
sonnel of the Inhabitants there were
many missing faces.
The old fogies were mostly on deck
Busby's Inveterate foes a little more
talkative, malevolent nud reminiscent
perhaps. They were whlttllug ou the
saiuo red fence which Lad always
nerved ns a resting place for the un
employed. Jim listened to the records
of the young man who had gone West
nnd the girls who had married wealthy
men. Some of Ills old associates occu
pied positions of honor and trust; lu
fact, all had douo well so well, that
lie felt emboldened to ask after him
fcelf not without- many misgivings.
There was n slight change of expres
sion ou the faces or tho old worthies
at the mcutiou of this wayward youth.
The oldest Inhabitant coughed, the
postmaster grinned, and the venerable
dtneon looked the other way with a
It was a trying moment for Jim.
Vheii significant glances nettled him
not n little, and hu could not refrain
from coming to his own defence.
"He was always an active boy," ha
"Too everlastingly active!" returned
the deacon with a suggestive grin.
"Every dog, and cat Uuows he never
fclcpt. I calculate there wumi't no
kind o' tomfoolery ho didn't practice
before he pulled out of here of n sud
den. Everybody prophesied he'd be
hung, and I guess the best people felt
relieved when they got the sad news
of Ids execution. I know I did."
Jim tried to whistle a tune lu an un
concerned way, but it was with dlf
Acuity that ho concealed his feellugs.
It's something of n shock to Hud one
heir hanged, and It takes time to got
used to It. no speut the day amusing
himself with the younger element, who
fortunately know not Jim Busby, They
liked him at once. His plaid suit,
heavy gold watch and plug hat seemed
to'euityody certain Ideals of youthful
grandeur; and bis freu use of money
easily cemented their friendships.
The next day ho hunted up his par
ents lu the little graveyard and decid
ed to replaco the wooden headboard
with a plcco of marble lu due time. He
also chatted with several old women
at work In their gardens, and found
Jim Busby bad been nuythlng but a
favorite of tho other sex. It was In
deed very discouraging, Ho felt re
vengeful. finally, In despair, he asked the edi
tor If unvtblir had Inn me. 'led that was
worth printing since Jim Busby had
"Nothing to sponk of," answered the
editor, stroking his' chin whiskers,
"and we're thankful for It. Fifteen
years ago a body couldn't go to bed
without expecting to wake tip nud tlnd
his live-stock ou the roof of his limine
or his black tow whitewashed. a pale
"Confound ll!" said Jim, out of pa
tience. "You peoplo Inn en' t treated
Jim Busby right; you enjoyed bin
Jokes as much as he did."
"Well, what Is that to you, please?"
"Simply this; I am Jim Busby."
The news spread quickly.
"I don't believe It," said the oldest
luhnbttaul, who stood near.
"That can't be Jim Busby never be
haved himself two days together In his
"Well, It's a fact, any ways." said
Jim. "I've been out knocking round
for tlfleen yeais without scurcely a
postage stamp to my name, nud when
I made my stake I thought I'd bunt up
a relative or two to share It with me;
but r llnd these people think, when
they've got a feller hung, they've done
enough for one man."
"Pshaw. Jim!" said one. "If we'd
aknowed It was you, It would have
Most of the bystanders agreed with
"I, for one, nm satisfied Jim Busby
was bung," Mild the deacon. " got the
hull account of It lu my sernpsbook;
but as you seem to be an uncommon
good feller I'd like to make your ac
(innlntnuce so come over to the house
for dinner and we'll argue the point."
"I don't want to destroy any old
memory that has been such n comfort
to you," said .71m. "so I won't uccept
your hospitality now, but I do want
to make things right. Your fool story
about my banging ban blackened my
reputation n good deal and bellied my
aged parents Into an early grnvc, but
I'm willing to let bygones be bygones.
I want to get oolld with future gen
erations and you can help inc. Tho
deacon, there, can make n rousing
good speech and the editor can giro
It a send off. To-morrow morning, nt
three. 1 want you to hike a wagon,
with some straw In It, to Canaan J mic
tion. A bronze statue of yours truly
will nrrlve by au early express, dents,
you understand V"
They understood, and although there
were serious doubts lu the deacon's
mind about this being Jim BusLy, be
wasn't the tnau to miss nn opportunity
of making -a speech, and he set about
preparing a rich euloglum of the prac
tical Joker which be rehearsed In his
barn the rest of the afternoon.
The oldest Inhabitant got out his
lemonade stand, the editor Issued an
extra, and the village brass baud pre
pared to tutu out.
The next morning by the dim light
of stars they all bled them to the
Junction live miles off. and nwalted
the arrival of the statuo of the great
man. It was mining bard, but what
of that? Their anticipations made
them young again, and they could
hardly wait until the, train stopped.
But the express came aud went with
nothing but disappointment for the
As they returned home a vague feel
ing of uneasiness and dread overtook
the party, and many began to heap
maledictions afresh upon the promot
er of this fool's errand: but when all
got back to the hotel aud found their
late visitor departed, their worst fears
It was the deacon who remarked
somewhat sadly to the weather-beateu,
"Well, I guess that was Jim Busby,
after all." Wavcrley Magazine.
lleyond the Spun of Life.
To be sentenced to Imprisonment
for the term of one's natural life Is
hard enough, but to be consigned to a
dungeon cell for a couple of thousand
years Is, Indeed, harrowing. Yet for
dgu Judges not infrequently Impose
sentences of several centuries, without
It being considered anything remark
able. Not long ago nu Italian adven
turer was convicted of sixty-three dis
tinct forgeries. He was sentenced In
each ense, with the result that he will
bo free In the year 'JOSO.
A couple of years ago a young man
was nrreBted in Vienna, who, upon his
own showing, should have been sen
tenced to U.'itK) yea is' Imprisonment,
A total of -UK) charges was brought
against him, and he was convicted and
sentenced ou nil of them. But the
Judge was n merciful man aud, In
pnsslug sentence, he threw off 1000
years In consideration of the man's
youth. A little time ago, lu the great
Calabralu brigandage trial lu Naples,
the public prosecutor demanded sen
tence upon 248 prtnuers, and, although
the average sentence Imposed was a
little over live years, the aggregate of
the seuteuces amounted to l!MM) years'
Imprleoiimcut. Chicago Chronicle.
Murli lu i Nuiiic.
The Polo(llce Department Is having
trouble over a little nostolUce In Bar
tholomew County, Indiana, which wus
established some years ago under the
name of Springer. A mouth later It
was changed to t'usdunuu, nml three
months nrterward buck to Springer.
In ISO.". It was called (hammer, but In
1S07 tho old namu of .Springer was
given It. It next appeared as thnni
mur, but Springer followed.
A poblmaster wus appointed who re
fused to qualify as postmuster of
Springer, but Insisted ou being post
master of arammer. Tho department
chose his successor. Miss Molllo Berg
man, nud changed the name back to
Springer. Miss Bergman has fol
lowed the tactics of her predecessor
aud Inslbts ou qualifying as the post
master of Crammer m not at all. The
dliticulty may be solved by closlug the
ottleo entirely. Washington Corre
snoudencc Baltimore Sun .
HOUSE OF THE FUTURE
A FRENCH SCIENTIST ADVOCATES
THE USE OF CLASS MANSIONS,
Some of lli Advantages An Tnexhnustl
lite Supply of HiiIIiIIiir Material Kora
llirrlllng That Would lie j;nsy to
Menu Ditjs of ttrtck Numbered
A FrciHi savant, M. Jules Henri
vau.v, until lately the. director of the
great glass manufactory at St. Gohnlu,
believes that wo are approaching nu
nge of glass.
M. Henrlvnnx Is nu enthusiast on
glass, suya the London Kxprcss. He
believes It to be the material of tho
future. Ho does not pretend that we
can look for glass cannons, or glass
men-o'-war, or glass greyhounds of the
ocean, nor does lie contemplntc tho
substitution of vitreous machinery for
thnt which wc now employ in our vari
ous procebses of manufacture, but he
does claim that glass Is the best sub
stance known to us for every kind of
structural purpose, and especially for
dwelling houses. In uhort, If the vi
sions of M. Ilciirlvaiix are rcnllzed wc
shall nil be living In glass houses be
fore very long.
The point of the Idea Is found In
the Inexhaustible supply of the ma
terials from which glass Is made, In
Its adaptability to nil shapes and
forms. U durability, and Its cleanli
ness, with regard to the r.econd point,
It Is cbvloiin thnt glass can bo shaped,
colored, and decorated to an extent
of which no other material h capable,
aud it Is upon this aspect of the Idea
that .M. Ilcnrlvnux lavishes hie imag
ination. There are six ways lu which glnsn
can be manipulated. It can be cast
Into window par.cn, puvlng stones, pan
els, etc. It can be moulded Into corn
Ices, slatea, wall decorations, and even
statue.i. II can bo blown Into bottles,
tumblers, vases aud all the utensils
comprised under the utune of "glass
ware." It can bo blown and ground
itito crystals. Icuses, prisms and other
objects of art aud utility. It can be
drawn into the finest threads nnd made
Into pipes, baskets nnd dress materials.
11 can be turned Into mosaic and en
amels, and can be brought Into the
closest Imitation of most of tho preci
Imagine, with M. Ilcnrlvaux, the
construction of it gluus bouse. The
foundations and walls could be con
structed of a variety of glass, recent
ly Invented, called "stone glass," which
bus nlready successfully withstood the
severest tests. When crushed it gives
a resistance throe times as great as
granite. When subjected to beat or
cold It Is found Ics. sensitive than
steel. When submitted to friction It
shows less wenr than porphyry. Shock,
ns if n hammer blow, It resists to a
degree twenty-two times as severe as
that which would fracture marble. The
test of tension has practically no ef
fect ou It whatever.
The walls, then, would be built of
glass held together by angle-iron so
as to permit of a hollow space through
which pipes could pass (the pipes
themselves being glass work) couvey
Ing hot air. hot and cold water, gas,
electric wires, drains, nnd everything
needed for the health aud comfort of
the Inhabitants. Stairs and balus
trades, ceilings ond wall decorations,
miinth'plccc and fireplaces, would nil
bo constructed of glass. Home of M.
Ilenrlviiux's conceptions In the way
of decorations, lu which the glass Is
made opaque or tinted with brilliant
colors, or made silver and golden, or
arranged lu prisms nud crystals with
facets like diamonds, are perhaps too
fanciful to be taken seriously, but
through them nil there runs the same
enthusiasm, the same belief that glass,
as Thiers once i-uld of I.ouls Napoleon,
lu capable of anything.
Our chairs and tables, In the now
glass age, will be mode of vllrlflcd
material, toughened to the strength of
oak nud mahogany. Our cooking uten
sils, our plates and cups nnd saucers,
will be made of the same substance.
Kveu our knives and forks will have
glitt-s handles. If not glass blades.
The new glues house will be abso
lutely clean, aud practically tndestruct'
Ible. The whole of Its surface can be
washed from ihe top story to tho base
ment, without a traco of humidity be
ing left. Oust cannot collect ou Its
polished I'nce. and the spider will llnd
no place ou which to bang Its cob
webs. The question of cost has not been
left out of account, (ibiss can be made
out of almost anything amenable to
tlie liilluince of tire. The stone glass
to which reference has already been
made. Is manufactured mntuly from
what have hitherto been regarded as
waste substances. The sing heaps
which dlsllgure our mining nud Irou
districts arc all convertible Into glass.
Kviiloutly the days of bricks and
Mates are numbered.
Not Horn (intolally.
At n certain elation lu India the
wife of u civilian In charge of an Im
portant department presented her lord
and master with a ton aud heir. The
native staff of the olllce thereupon pe
titioned for n holiday In celebration of
the auspicious event, says Loudon
Truth. Not feeling Justified lu stop
plug the (iovermueut work for a day
on such a pretext, the parent sum
moned the head clerk to his assist
ance. This geullcmun, a balm of a
characteristic type, devoted many
hours' consideration to the problem,
aud after weighing all the pros nml
cons, drlhered nu opinion to the ef
fect that the desired holiday could not
properly be granted, as the baby hud
been born to bis chief lu his private
and not lu his otllchtl capacity. This
oracular i espouse seems to suggest
that a man might have n sou born to
him lu his ottlehil and not In I1I4 pri
vate capacity though I confess 1 do
not uiiIIm pu liiiiv Lliul dniili bu.
HOW FLIES PROMOTE DISEASE.
They Carry Cnrmit on Their Toe I'rnm
For two or three years past
medical men have been cnlllng
attention to the part which
common tiles play lu the dis
semination of diseases. They first
alight upon tho spit of u victim of tu
berculosis, the fiicetn.' of a typhoid pa
tient or other infected mnlcrlol, and
then rest on food which lias been cnio
lesfly exposed. Thus something worse
than the hatching of maggots In fly
blown meat may result. The. latter Is
more revolting than dangerous. But
the former Is more :hingorou9 than ie
voltlug. Commenting on these facts, Ameri
can Medicine recently remarked:
"Bestnurnntfl Infested with Hies nre
special nbonilnntlons. Tho danger
from this source Is not small, and ns
the summer Is now upon us In
good earnest, with hordes of these
pests, ll seems desirable that every
thing possible be done to limit
the amount of mischief done by them.
More effective measures nre needed for
destroying tiles and preventing their
multiplication. The war ou mosqui
toes by our sanitary department lu
Cuba has shown what can he done In
exterminating Insects, and the prepar
tloii3 which nre nlready being made
l:i several different places- in our coun
try rhow that the people nre willing
to net If they nre shown the best ways.
Until some successful method has been
devised for exterminating Hies special
care should bo taken to prevent their
access to sputum, pus or other Infec
tious material; fruits nnd foodstuffs
should be thoroughly cooked or
washed If tiles hnvc been nllowed to
coma lu contact with them, and should
bo protected from flics after prepara
tion for use."
It Is a great mistake not to enjoy
aud make good use of common things.
Most likely you cannot command the
best that life has to give, but 5ou cau,
at least, get uear to It by Improving
whatever comes In your way. Happi
ness depends very little upon tho vast
ncss of one's possessions, but It does
very much upon n spirit of content
incut which, coupled with willingness
aud ability, enables n man to get all
the good possible out of his lot.
The universal self-delusion Is this:
when a man has a good thought, he
fancies he has become whnt he thinks
for the moment. Uood thoughts nre
very good; but unaccompanied by the
difllcult processes of character, they
nre often no belter than soap-bubbles.
There Is n kind of knowledge from
which ninny persons shrink. It Is thnt
which Involves certnln duties and re
sponsibilities which they are not will
ing to accept.
Uncertainty Is the crudest trlnl for
the heart of a woman to endure, when
that woman Is resolute nnd brine, and
feels ready to race any dnnivr cour
ageously. No man knows the state of another;
II Is always to f-ome more or less Im
aginary man that the wisest aud most
honest adviser is speaking.
Some peoplo are so anxious to keep
their left band in Ignorance of the
deeds of their right that they keep
it lu perpetual Idleness.
Surely terror Is provided for sufli
clenlly In this life of ours, If only the
dread could be directed toward the
The artist Is a true creator. He can
embody the noblest aspirations of his
mind, and give them a reality and a
When caught In a falsehood, don't
assume a look of Injured Innocence
nud tell more lies to hold you up.
It Is worth more to the world for a
man to live rlubt than die happy.
Contagion In HchonU.
Any one who has worked In school
rooms must have been Impressed with
the fact that the children come Into
frequent and close personal contact,
bitch us putting their faces together,
blowing Into each other's faces, exam
ining slates and papers, aud sitting
Common means of contagion are
these: Klsslug, exchanging handker
chiefs, ribbon, chewing gum, whistles,
shite and lead pencils, which are al
most always, consciously or uuconel
ously, carried to tho mouths. Coins
also nre treated lu the same way.
Drinking cups, by their common use.
often spread diseases. School books
nre ready carriers of contagion. Then
ulso may be mentioned the dangers
from overcrowding tho schoolrooms,
which lends to the breathing of Impure
air aud the dlstcmluntlon of germs.
Wraps which nre uot absolutely need
ed often hang where they dry and arc
Hired In the schoolroom.
The foundation for many cases of
pulmonary diseases and chronic In
validism can sometimes be traced to
a badly ventilated schoolroom. Moth
erhood. When Iteetl Coiintril Quorum.
Former Speaker Jtecd was lu the
.Supreme Court, at Washington. The
Justices wore slow in assembling. Mr.
Iteod waited with nn clcphnutlne pa
tience. Presently a friend of his
leaned over to him and whispered:
"Mr. Spenker, can't you count a
A look of grave reproach overspread
the fnt Mnluo face. "Sir," bald be In
a tone of free.lug dignity, "you forget
that when 1 counted a quorum, there
always was a quorum." New York
Weight of Honey Hrei,
Five thousand honey bees as they
leave the hive weigh about one pouud,
but when (he Insects return from their
visits to the flowers, freighted with
honey, they weigh iicnrly twice as
iiini.t 'aivtj'l.- St VMi'liwot
RNT r- L
; lJ7P jl
rt'i... ..... t...f .,!, r, it nni'limi fnt I1KO
J.IIU IIHIIIIIlHVlllHi u"
lu electric lighting, nnd for other
purposes, has grown to be a great In
dustry lu tho West Virginia gus belt.
The processes require great hent.
'A train of steel freight cars carries
twelve to twenty per cent, greater
tonnage, uses less wutcr, fourteen to
sixty per cent, less coal and runs rant
er than n train of wooden freight cars
of the same size.
Stokes calculates that a droplet of
water n thousandth of au Inch in diam
eter cannot full In still air at a much
greater rate than an Inch nnd a half
per second. If It Is of one-tenth that
size, It will rail a hundred times slow-or-not
more than one Inch per minute.
The United States, with the consent
of the Mexican Uovernmcnt, has es
tablished a coaling station nt the ex
treme point of Lower California.
About .s'LVi.OOO has been expended for
docks and coal storage bins, nnd 5000
tons of roal have been shipped from
Baltimore. The station Is nt I'lchnl
Inqul, o:i the west coast of tho penin
sula. Larger freight cars nre to be used on
German railroads. Three-truck freight
cars of twenty-five toun each will be
tried In place of two-truck cars of
fifteen tons ench. An experiment was
tried formerly with four-truck earn,
but they were too heavy and could
not be used ou all roads. The wear
and tear on t!ie truck Is also less with
the largo throe-truck car.
A VIeuucso Inventor has developed
a new Incandescent, lamp lllauiuut
which possesses extraordinary light
etllcloucy among other good qualities.
The thread Is made of the powder of
an infusible metal, such as thorium,
under great pressure. This is then
superficially oxidized. On the pass
age of the current the tllauiciit is said
to become very compact, resembling
The gas euglue has been, for years,
steadily growing lu efficiency nnd
favor, nnd now, according to Professor
Thurston, of Cornell University, Is
seriously competing with the steam
engine in important commercial work
ou a large ucnle. He says that recent
tests show the large gas engine to be
of substantially the same thermal ef
ficiency as the best steam engine,
while using a fuel considerably cheap
er. Some two years ago a resident of
Boston, Mass.. devised u new aplnnlug
machine, which he took with him to
Bradford, the centre of the spinning
Industry of (Jrcnt Britain. There, nld
od by local engineers nnd experts, ho
improcd his appliance, which Is now
in active operation. It is capable of
spinning a variety of materials, such
us asbestos and peat moss, ns easily
and as readily as wool, nnd when
completed It Is difllcult to determine
the original nature of the fabric.
The Anilm mul (he Telephone.
We bad a party of Arabs along with
us, aud took them nil over u greut
newspaper olllce. Kverythlng was
wildly astonishing to them. They had
Imagined that the Koran contained
all the wisdom and knowledge of the
world, yet here was the telegraph, the
telephoue, the electrotype, tho prlntlug
press. The place was a veritable en
chanter's castle to them. They would
never have believed In the telephone
If 1 had not called up their hotel and
got one of their own parly at that
end of the wire. The dervish who
had come along was bold ns well as
pious. When he heard that his friend
live miles away was talking through
the Instrument he made a dash at tt.
He was greatly excited, and yelled
lu ii megaphone voice He thought
we were tricking him, but here was
his friend talking Arable. He rolled
bis eyes at me In a despairing man
ner, and thou begnn a search for dev
ils, being quite convinced that the
'phone was an luventlou of Satau.
The Roottlili i;tj;alu.
It Is rumored in Edinburgh that the
Scottish regalia, which has boon kept
lu the castle for over two centuries,
will be temporarily removed to Holy
rood Palace when the King holds his
court. The legnllu. of which the chief
Is Bruoe's crown (used at tho corona
tion of every Mihscqucut monarch of
Scotland), wero locked up lu a room
lu the castle Just after the union lu
1707, aud brought to light again In
1817, by order of the Prince Itegcnt.
DurJug the civil wars bomo of them
were kept lu LHiuoitnr Castle, lu Kin
cardineshire, which wan held by Ogll
vy. of Barras. against Cromwell's
troops. The wife of a minister was
allowed to cuter tho fortress to see
Ogllvy's wire, nud she aud her maid
belweeu iheni smuggled out the
crown, sceptre and sword. Whcu
Dunotlar surrendered nud the valua
bles were missed Ogllvy was sent to
prison lu ICuglnnd, London News.
I.oi'oaiollve mul Host.
A Swedish State railway engineer,
Hero Muguell, has been commissioned
by the Paraguay authorities to con
struct u combined locomotive btenmer
for the trnfttc between Altos and
Pitgua. This nmphlblous vessel will
be nearly twice nu large as tho Svanen
Swan which nt one time maintained
the tralllc by laud and sen between the
Vlskau and the Baltic In Ccutral Swc-ion.
Where Ihn Short Cotnp Out I-nni; A
Kxperilfttit A Secret 1'olnteil Out
Hunt to 1'loaie Accounted lfor Tint
Trunk Habit, I.lc, Etc.
In other men's financial loss
Thcre'H comfort if wc choose
The millions we've not come across
We've never lincl to lose.
"Didn't you have., trouble In gelling
so many antiques?"
"Dear, me, no I had them made to
order." Detroit Free Pres.
Ue "So you've been letting other
men make lovo to you?"
She "It's all right dear. Not one of
them know Hint you and I were en
gaged." Now York Herald.
"Jlmmlc, I can't recognize you lu
this group photograph of your cchool "
"You can't? Why that's me rlrht
there In tho middle slttln' pigeon
toed." Chicago llccord-llerald.
JInril to I'leaoe. -
"I can't got on with that younj
woman at all."
'"What's the trouble?"
"Oh, sho gets mud' when I say she'
.nture, nud she gets mad when I say
Mrs. Sllmsoii "Willie, your shlrl U
Willie "Some boys tempted me to
go In swimming, and I rati nway from
them bo hard that I got Into au awful
perspiration." Harper's Bazar.
Tho Trunk llnhlt.
Mrs. Von Blumer - "Well, well,
you've been traveling for years,
haven't you? When nre you and your
daughters going to settle down?"
Mrs. Huutmaii "I don't know.
Why. the very thought of It makes the
girls homesick." New York Herald.
In tho Mimeuin.
"The legless ninn Is nlwayo putting
his foot In It," observed the Living '4
Skeleton to the Sunkc Charmer.
"What has lie done uow?"
"Last night wc were hnvlng a friend
ly little game, and he asked the arm
less wonder to take a hnnd." Balti
One Doctor' Kraioalnc;.
"How much do I owe you, doctor?"
"Phew I Your colleague, Dr. Knott
ier, charges only ?3 for a mild cas;
"That may be; but you must remem
ber that he has a much larger prue- d
t lee." New York Times.
The Height or It.
"I never see him taklug her out for
a walk now."
"No, they're engaged now, and they
"Why, it doesn't cost him anything
to take her walklug."
"Well. It wears out shoe lenther, you
know." Philadelphia Press.
"She has au admirable trait," re
marked one woman. "She never gos
sips." "It Is Indeed nu admirable trait." y
answered the other. "Any one who
keeps perfectly quiet nnd lets others
monopolize the conversation cannot
help being esteemed." Washington
, Sentenced to Hani Labor.
"Klud lady, kin yer give a pore de
servlu' mail a bite to cat?"
"Here's a good piece o' cherry plo
for you: sit right down on the door
step ond enjoy It."
"Oh, lady; yer menus well, but cat
In cherry pie with tb stones in nln'r
no pleasure It's work, downright
An Kurouraslng Setback.
Mr. Perklus "Miss Simpson, my
heart holds n great secret, but I feel
timid about confiding It to you."
Miss Slinpson-"Well, Mr. Perkins.
I can't help you out nny; the mn who
proposes to me, Mr. Perklus, shan't
linve n chance to throw It up to mo
thnt I led him on." Chicago Kecord
Herald. A Klcnltlcunt Word.
I think," said tho gentleman with
the unworldly expression, "that your
daughter 1" now sufficiently advanced 4
to take up the subject of harmony."
"Uxcuse me," said Senator Sorghnra
rather distantly, "but I must remind
you that you are employed to teach
my daughter music, not politics,"
She stamped her feet In pretty rage
"Ha! hn!" sueurcd tho heuvy villain.
"You'll hnve to pay excess postage on
them. You had as well stamp them
True, her feet were not tho kind
that made Cinderella famous, but M-aa
It real chivalry lu him to say such
things? Baltimore American.
Perceiving now thnt tho block was"
inovltnble, the noble prisoner be
thought him of suicide.
"Shall I chuflle off this mortal coll?"
mused lie v
But the executioner, being n rann of
some wit withal, divined his thought.
"You shuflle after I cut!" quoth this
The Duke was silent at this. It wit
uot his Grace's wont to bandy words
with one of tho commonalty, Detroit
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