"Vline Own Familiar Friend."
By Olslc
(y INCH the time when my mem
V4y ory goeth not back to Hip con
1 Gi trury. we hint Iipcii bo poor In
worldly wpnltli that I hope It'
mny Iip conflldprcd oxctimililo In mo If
I felt nliiiost light-headed when I sud
denly Inherited n little fortnnu of ?1'),
000, but Uio dizzy HPiiNiitlon was pro
duced hy pure Joy, nnd In no sourc by
conceit, or nny form of the evil do
Hcrllied by the apostle an being "puffed
up," or "vaunting one'H self."
I waH already an old maid, that In to
day, I waH Hearing thirty, nnd the one
romance of my life had been my en
gagement to Oscar Hekstrom. He was
a clever young Swede, of good station
In his own country, nnd of marked
ability as an engineer, by which trade
Iip had hoped to make n sulllelent In
come to permit him to take on himself
the expense of n wife, and a mother-in-law;
for my dear mother, who was
a helpless Invalid, had so long been u
part of me that the man who married
the daughter would bo obliged to con
sider the mother as a part of her while
she lived. This often troubled my
dear mother, but I would not allow her
to speak of It, or Indeed to think of It,
either, so far as I could preveut It.
Oscar and I had now been engaged
for about llvo years, but, although ho
was steady and Industrious, the time
when we could appoint our wedding
day had not yet come, and I still re
tained my position In the school where
I had been llrst appointed to the pri
mary department, when I was not yet
fifteen years of age. My salary made
a comfortable support for my mother
nnd myself, and Oscar was each week
laying a small sum In bank, and wo
confidently looked forward to better
nud brighter days to come.
And behold they came In a way wo
had hardly anticipated. My Uncle
Samuel, after whom, as he had been
my mother's only brother, I had been
named, died In some far away place In
Australia, leaving me what at first
seemed the almost fabulous sum of
$10,000!
Perhaps a girl who had been dow
ered with the name of Samuelhi really
deserved a compensation of that sort,
but I don't know If I thought that way
about It, being Just so happy and grate
ful that I was simply light-headed,
nnd my Joy was not even tempered by
sorrow at the loss of my uncle, for I
had never seen him In my life.
In every way I was glad and grate
ful over my Inheritance.
In the first place Oscar and I could
now be married; In the second place
long years In the school-room, nud a
series of vacations spent In the hot
city, had taxed my strength more than
I dared confess to myself (although
the doctor had commanded n rest, and
a summer In the country for both my
mother and myself), nud lastly, I could
Indulge In the extravagance of having
my one girl friend come and pay mo a
visit.
I had long known of a cosy little
house In the country, which I could get
on easy terms at any time when I was
In the position to bid for It; my llrst
net now was to take advantage or this
lucky chance.
I then sent In my resignation of my
position In school, and procured a sub
stitute for the balance of the term, for
I was not going to sacrifice the early
hp ng beauty of the country - the
months of April and May, which had
always seemed to me the true holiday
of the year-aud then Oscar and I had
a little talk about our long-delayed
weddlug-dny. At last we decided' oil
the first of September, and I gave my
self up to the luxury of a few days of
shopping, not mere looking in show
windows and pricing of goods, but
genuine shopping, for I had my mod
est little trousseau to prepare, and ex
cept my wedding dress and bonnet. I
bad determined to make everything I
required with my own hands.
Hy the end of a week I was settle .
In my dear little cottage home; and
though Oscar had complained of the
long time to wait. I soon realized how
wUo I had been to put off my wedding-day
for several mouths to come,
for what with the gardening to do and
my sewing, It was well if 1 would be
quite ready by September.
Three evenings In the week Oscar
came to see me. The railroad Journey
was about half nn hour's duration, and
It allowed him to remain from 0.30 till
0.30, nnd though the three bright hours
flow by almost like minutes, the mem
ory of them lingered with m both dur
ing every moment of the time between,
and each time when we met again we
resumed our conversation almost at
the word where we bad dropped It on
the evening before.
Of course I had Ion;, since written
to Clare, nud she had promised to
come to me as soon as I was settled la
my new home, and though she had not
yet named the day on which I might
expect her. I was not In the least sur
prised when she appeared one evening,
In the middle of May, In company with
Oscar. I knew her In a moment, nnd
far off, though I had not sven her for
years, ami I thrilled wltn delight to
see that she was as pret.y as ever
prettier, Indeed, as I si .'ii decided
when I became once more ..cctistomeil
to her face.
" o arrived from dlffero:. points of
the compass at the jjtme tin almost,"
she exclaimed, gayly, "and ; was still
Inquiring my way when Mi Ickstrom,
bearing your unme, and g.iesslug tit
' in (t) M ni Mt "' " .V'V",'t-'
bnowe.
mine, was so good as to tnke chnrgo
of me nud bring me here, and one rf
the natives, who drove a very dilapi
dated animal that may yet, In the
course of evolutionary processes, be
come a horse, has promised to bring
over my trunk some time in the course
of the evening."
Clare Nelson was seven years young
er than I, ami Just now In the full
bloom of her beauty. I hud first
known her as a mere child, In the
school where I had been so long en
gaged, and she had loved me not as
her teacher merely, but as her friend,
and when she had removed with her
parents to .i distant clfy she had writ
ten to me constantly, and our friend
ship, Instead of lessening, had grown
fonder ami stronger with years.
And now to have her entirely to my
self, and to pour Into her willing ear
all the secrets of my uneventful life,
secrets so Innocent nnd delightful
and which a certain old-maidish shy
ness had kept even from my mother.
I felt half afraid to be so happy. In
the cool mornings and evenings we
gardened together, Clare nud I, pulling
off the deutl leaves and Howers, rooting
up weeds, raking the paths and keep
ing my pretty bit of ground n model
of neatness nud beauty, and In the
hent of the tiny Ave sewed and rend, or
swung in the hammock that Oscar has
swung for us between the pencil trees,
anil after 'ea we devoted ourselves to
our visitor, for Oscar had fallen Into
the habit of coming to us on every
night of the week. This had come
about so naturally that I had not no
ticed It, and It was my mother who
first drew my attention to It.
"Is Oscar here to-night, too?" she
asked one evening. He had come In
late, nud when I chlded him for not
coming to tea, he answered, almost
pettishly, that he had "taketi some
thing In town, and I needn't bother
about getting him anything to eat."
"Yes, mother, dear." I answered,
'he comes almost every night now
Indeed, every night, I think, of late."
A half audible sigh escaped my
mother's lips.
"I thought I heard his voice," she
said, presently, "though I hnvou't seen
him yet."
"He's In the garden with Clare," I
answered. "She Is so charming, and
he enjoys her company so much."
"I have observed It."
My mother spoke almost bitterly,
and again she sighed, this time deeply
and audibly.
A sharp pain went through my heart,
and 1 dared not nsk myself the reason.
As the evening shndows deepened, and
I moved about to place the lamp on
the table and then to find a match to
light It, Oscar and Clare entered the
room together, merry and laughing.
We all chatted and laughed, In
somewhat forced manner, and then Os
car got the backgammon board and
challenged Clare to a gntne. I could
not but remember how 1 had learned
the game merely to please him, nnd
that he now never asked me to piny It.
The evening passed quickly, but not
happily; a cloud seemed to be hanging
over us. Oscar put off his "good
night" till the last moment, then sud
denly looking at his watch he started
to his feet, declaring that he would
have to run to catch his train, and In
the next moment, as It seemed, I
heard his hurried step crunching the
gravel on the pathway, and then the
sound of the gate closing after him.
That was a wretched night to me,
and when ut last 1 slept my dreams
were troubled. Clare looked pale mill
sail when we met at breakfast In the
morning, but I thought she had never
seemed so lovely her pallor, her dewy
eyes, her sweet nud tremulous tones
and plantlve mouth, prettier than ever
with the gentle bnby-llke pout on the
delicate lips, hod a peculiar fascina
tion. I loved the girl, and though In
some undefined way I felt that she
hud brought darkness Into my life, I
could not hate her for it at least not
yet.
Oscar did not come that evening,
three days passed anil he did not come
but In the evening I received a little
note from him. It was kind and af
fectionate, ami like himself. I read It
more than ouee. and wondered what
could have made me feel unhappy he
was, as always, my own true lover!
Could It be possible that I had been
almost Jealous? I rated myself
soundly In my own thoughts, ami went
gayly singing about the house. Wheu
(Mare talked, next morning, at break
fast of going home, I would not listen
to her, and I compelled her to promi J
me at least another month.
Hy this time we were well Into July
nnd the cherries were ripe. Oscar had
been very busy, and came only two
evenings In the week, ami as I remem
bered afterward, Clare contrived to bo
occupied on these evenings In her own.
room. Hut on a certain Wednesday
evening I had bogged them to pick a
basket of cherries for me that I might
make a cherry pie for tea on Oscar's
next visit, and though Clare had begun
by making noine excuse It ended by
both going out to get the cherries.
They stayed a long while, and as It
was getting dark I went to call them,
and when I found them he was kneel
ing at her feet, her hands were tightly
clased In his, ami she was sobbing bit
terly. "You love uu" ho was saying, "jour
eyes hnveysnld It, nnd you dare not
deny It."
"I do not love you," she said, nil
grlly, but her voice fullered. "And I
do not respect you what should I
think of myself, either I would de
spise myself even more tlinn I do you,
If I could listen to words of love from
the man who Is to marry my own dear
friend."
"Hut you love me In spite of nil
that!" he Interrupted, triumphantly.
"Oh, don't think but I despise myself!
I have kept away from you that I
might not nee your maddening beauty,
but your heavenly eyes have tlnnced
before me. Your enchanting voice has
rung In my ears. Among a thousand
men nnd womeu I see but your fnce.
Among ten thousand sounds I hear but
your voice. Sleeping or waking I seo
but you, you nlone, only you, forever.
Henr me, Clnre, and don't He to me or
to yourself. You do love me!"
"I tlo not I cannot love my friend's
betrothed husband," she said, faintly,
but he had started to his feet, nnd In a
moment he held her In his arms, and
In another moment I was beside them.
"He Is so no more; he Is n free man,
nnd you are free to love him, Clare."
I shuddered at my own voice; I know
It sounded like the voice of doom to
them.
Clare gnvp one quick, sharp cry, nnd
pushing him violently from her, turned
nnd tied away In the darkness.
Oscar said nothing. I was glad he
did not nsk me to forgive him; It would
have Beemcd so heartless theu, ho ter
ribly cruel. ,
"Do not grieve," I said, nt last, for I
snw that I must speak. "It Is so much
better that I should know now than
nfterwnrd. She will listen when you
speak to her ngalu, nnd she will love
you. Good-bye be hnppy."
I don't know If he answered nnr
thing; I didn't henr him. I found my
way through the darkness to the
house, nud to my own room. When I
came down stairs In the morning
Clare was gone, nud we never mot
ngalu.
Hut she wrote to me nbout n year
later. She did not marry Oscar Eck
stroin; she married a man who had
loved her long and quite hopelessly.
She made him understand that his love
was no longer hopeless. On the day
she married him she wrote a last good
bye to me, for she was going with him
to India as u missionary. They both
died there within n few years, and ,t
was with n thrill of triumph thnt I re
alized how my own familiar friend,
though tried nnd tempted sorely, had
not nfter nil been faithless to me.
When I next saw Oscar Eckstrom
he was a nobler nnd a better man; his
face was furrowed nnd his dnrk hair
was streaked with gray, and I had
not grown younger. My dear mother
had died, and I was alone In the world,
nnd I had never ceased to love him,
nnd he knew it.
"And I never censed to love you,
Kiln," he said, meekly enough, but
very sincerely. "Believe me, denr, .
wns n mero midsummer madness; tlio
glnmour thrown me by her beauty;
every moment of the time my soul was
true to you. Forgive me, denr one!
The years are going fast let us wuBte
no more of them."
Well, I answered nothing much then;
but somehow Oscar got In the wny of
coming as he used to do, nnd one day
n poor woman enme begging for wor. ,
nnd, as she could sew nicely nud fit
dresses, I turned over the cedar-chest
lu which I had laid nway the wedding
garments begun so long ago.
The long-neglected sewing wns all
none nt last, and In the springtime of
the year In the autumn of our lives
Oscar and I were mnrrled. The lilacs
mid peach trees wero In bloom, nud
the robins twittered nnd sung, nnd,
yes, I may as well confess it. In my
heart wns beating the same old time
we call "Love's Young Dream." Wav
erley Magazine.
China's Itcuiuvubta Capitals.
In the 1.000 years of Chluese history
the capital has been moved about one
hundred times, or nn average of about
once In every fifty years. The capital
of China hits been moved for almost
every conceivable reasou; drought,
tlood, famine, Invasion, rebellions, and
fire have at various times forced the
emperors to abandon their capitals nnd
seek new and luckier quarters. Sev
eral times, when lucky cities could not
be found, entirely new cities have been
built.
The Chinese people, far from being
humiliated by the removal of the cupl
tal from Pokln, would doubtless bo
glad t ree It done. In tact, there Is
nothing surer than that If the present
Manehu dynasty were to be over
thrown and succeeded by a Chinese
dynasty the capital would be removed
from Pokln to Nanking, on the Yung
tse Hlver, which was the first capital
of the Mings, or to Kiil-fung-fu, or
I.oh-yaug, In Houau, or to Slngnu In
Shen-SI, where the court Is now lo
cated. Leslie's Weekly.
KltiBiong Tongue of Chlnu.
Mr. Elson, writing of Chinese vocal
music In the Musical ltecord, says
that the volco lu China is trained to
much flexibility by the exigencies of
the language. A spoke.i word in the
Chinese lnnguage has different mean
ing according to the Inflection with
which It Is pronounced. The number
of words Is small, the Ideas that may
bo conveyed by them are many. Thus
foreigners are led luto endless compli
cations mid misunderstandings; for
example, the word tchu, pronounced
clearly, with tho vowel of medium
length, melius "master, but by ex
tending the vowel n trifle It aiguilles
"hog;" It also menus "column" nud
"cookery." "ho syllable "po" has
eleven different meanings "glass,"
"boll," "captive," "prepare," nud so
forth, each of which must be pro
nounced with n different pitch nnd Inflection.
)fc-
I.lltla Johnnie's Questions.
Oh, tell me, papa, tell me why """
So mnny stars ore in the sky?
Why does the inoon conic out nt night?
What makes the enow ho very white?
Oh, tell me, papa, tell me quick.
Oh, tell mc, papa, this one thing
Why are the lenAc all green in upring?
Why does the bark grow on the tree?
How did the nalt net in the sen?
Oh, tell mc, papa, tell tnc quick.
Oh, tell mc, papa, If you know,
What makes the grans nnd flowers grow?
Why do we walk upon our feet?
And what lnw made the sugar sweet?
Oh, tell me, papa, tell mc quick.
'And tell me, papa, tell me how
The milk nnd cream get in the row?
How many scales a tiali has got?
What make the heat so nwftil hot?
Oh, tell me, papa, tell mc quick.
And tell mc, papa, don't forget,
What Is it makes the water wet?
What holds the sun up in the sky?
When you were horn, now old was I?
Oh, tell me, papa, tell mc quick.
Cincinnati Commercial-Tribune.
;(
"" Make Kitchen flBriten.
Every boy nud girl likes to see
things grow. If you nro like other
boyH and girls you might enjoy n little
farm on the window sill In the kitchen.
All you need Is n soup plate, a glass
cover, u piece of white blotting paper
and some mixed bird seed. Cut the
blotter circular Just like the soup plnte
and lay It In. Take some pins for fence
stakes and til vide the farm into two
lots by fastening threads from ono
stake to another. Sprinkle on the
blotter n handful of bird seed and then
moisten well. Put on the glass cover
nud keep In the sun. In a few days the
seeds will sprout and your farm will
liu flourishing.
Where Snrsapnrlllii Comes From.
During the summer many boys and
girls and grown people, too line up
before the soda fountains In our cities
nnd call for sarsapnrllla without stop
plug to think, and perhaps without
knowing whnt that extract Is that
gives n rich brown color to the hover
nge. Snrsnparllla Is taken from the
root of several species of smllnx, n
great vine thnt grows lu South Amer
ican forests. .Inmiilcn, Mexico and
Central America also export quanti
ties of the sinllnx root or the extract.
One species of sinllnx grows to prodig
ious size In the grout forests or the
valley of the Amazon, and the Indlnns
of thnt region sell large quantities of it
to white merchants.
The Indians dig the root of this sml
lnx, which sometimes renches nine feet
lu length, growing horlzoutnlly from
the stem. It Is then dried and Is usu
ally shipped In that state, the sarsapa
rllln belug extracted by manufactur
ers. These Indians of the Amnzon,
however, although far down lu the
scale of civilization, place great faith
lu the medicinal qualities of the juice,
ami perhaps the nature of the region
lu wlhch they abide Is responsible for
this. They show much skill In extract
ing the sarsapnrllla, which Is done
through a process of bolllug. Chicago
Kecord-IIeralil.
An Oriental ICIniteiRurten (tunic.
One bright spring afternoon n Chl
uese otllclnl and his little boy called ut
our home, on Filial Piety Lane, In Pe
kln. Father nnd son were dressed ex
actly alike boots of black velvet,
trousers of blue silk, waistcoats of
blue brocade, and skull-cap of black
satin. In every respect, even to the
dignity of bis bearing, the child wns u
vest-pocket edition of his father.
The boy carried a t'ao of books,
which I recognized as "The Fifteen
Magic Blocks." Now. a t'no Is two or
more volumes of n book, wrapped In
a single cover. The one thnt the boy
had coutolned two volumes. On the
luslde of the cover was a depression
three Inches square, snugly fitted with
the tlfteeu blocks. These blocks nro
iniide variously of lead, wood or paste
board. All of the blocks are hi pairs, except
one, which Is n rhomboid, nnd all nre
exuetly proportional, the sides being
eltner half an Inch, an luch and a half
or two Inches lu leugth.
The blocks of Chinese children nre
not used ns In our kindergartens, sim
ply to familiarize the child with geo
metric figures. The more specific pur
poses of the fifteen magical blocks Is
to picture scenes of history nnd myth
that will have a moral and Intellectual
effect on the budding brain. Of course
Chluese children build houses, bridges
nnd wagons jusi'us our do, but prima
rily their blocks are Intended for edu
cation. The first picture my child visitor
built for me that nfternoon was a dra
gon horse. 1 asked him to tell me
nbout It. The little fellow explained
that this was the tlrngon-horse of Fu
IIsl. Fu lis! was the original ances
tor of the Chinese people, nud he saw
this animal emerge from the depths of
the Meug Hlver. On the back of tho
tlragou-horse Fu lis! described a map
containing fifty-five spots. These fifty
five spots represented the male and
femnlo principles of nature, nud out cf
them the ancient sage used to con
struct whnt are known ns the Eight
Diagrams. Isaac T. Headland, In
Alnslee's.
A London association which has to
do with the drinking fountains and
watering troughs or the metropolis ob
jects to the water tanks of steam au
tomobiles belug filled therefrom.
Railroad brhlgo builders are adopt
ing tho fir timber of the North Pacific
coast for bridge building because of its
remarkable strength
J!
irfnUclrerv;
U8ivV V ' I I ' I
The young man In business Is a dis
tinctly American institution, nnd nc
counts for the rapidity of our pro
gress, observes Profitable Advertising.
A procession of wholes three tulles
long Is reported from Alaska. This
helps sustain the Impression that Alns
ku Is one of the most Imaginative coun
tries on the map.
A prune promoter offers to give
nwav n book showing how the fruit
mny be cooked one hundred dlfferen
wnys. He offers no guarantee, how
ever, thnt the flavor will not be the
same lu ench ense.
Although the population of the
United States has Increased less than
llfty per cent. In two decades, the
sale of postnge stumps Is threefold
whnt It was twenty years ago. Popu
lar education and a growing commerce
nro doubtless responsible for It.
Ireland lost by emigration Inst year
45,'J88 souls, an Increase over 1801) of
.'1 17. Over eighty-two per cent, of
these were between the ages of fifteen
and thirty-five. Of the total number
of emigrants 37,705 cntne to the Unit
ed Stntes, Great Brltnlu received 0050,
New Zealand sixty-four, Cunnda 472,
nud Australia 834.
The Russian Government grants
subsidies for the purpose of helping
new settlers. This money Is spent In
encouraging farming and frult-ralslng.
Subventions are given for the first six
years. Durlrg the following ten years
these subventions must be repnld lu
yearly payments. Since 1804 ?L,005,
500 has been spent lu that way.
Dr. A. M. Gnrduer. n famous San
Francisco specialist, recently delivered
an address In which he assumed that
pauperism, crime and Insanity nro
largely the Indirect results of nervous
disease, nnd that nervous dlsense Is
largely the direct result of the com
petitlonsuiid over-refinements of mod
ern society nnd clvlllzntlon. As civili
zation becomes more mill more re
fined It becomes more complicated and
Its tlemuuds Increase. The result Is
minds overtaxed with study, emotions
strained to n dangerous tenslou, diges
tion ruined by worry and anxiety, and
u gradual breaking down of nerve
force, the whole system, meutnl nnd
physical, being culled on to endure
more tlinn Is proper for n healthy mind
nnd body. Dr. Gordon proposes no
remedy for this diseased condition of
society.
Heceut news from Europe has con
vinced every reader that the wearers
of crowns oversea are taking the philo
sophical view of King Humbert of
Italy with regard to "ic perils which
beset thrones. When attacks on his
life were made he coolly remarked
that risks of that kind were a part of
the business of royalty. Ueports from
Constantinople say thnt the Sultan,
wheu he was holding u council of his
ministers, was not affrighted when the
palace was shaken by an earthquake;
In fact, he was the must serene nud un
dismayed of nil present lu the cham
ber. Tho German Emperor Is known
to possess the highest type of personal
courage, nud he assures his people
thnt he Is not lu the least Intimidated
by any plots agulust him, Hut there
Is so much uneasluess, so much tur
moil lu the Old World thnt the peace
ful American citizen rejoices that his
New World sovereignty I. not troubled
by dynamite alarms or threats of mur
derous discontent.
The American Journal of Insanity
recently published a paper presenting
the statistics of suicides in various
countries nud iiinong different profes
sions, nud the percentages of Increases
during the hist half century. Among
those classed as paupers, only one out
of every U50ii committed suicide forty
years ago, one out of every 1430 serv
nnts, one out of every -000 profession
ill men, one out of every H!50 soldiers,
oue out of every 7015 carpenters, ma
sons, etc. There was only one suicide
to every O'J.tOO of populntlon in Swed
eti, while lu Russia there wns ono to
35,000, and In the nlted Stntes one to
15,000. in the cities of London in d
St. Petersburg the ratio of suicides to
population was about me to 21,000.
The lucrense of Milcidul lunula lu
Franco Is shown from the figures giv
en for that country during the lust
fifty years. In 1815 the ration was
nine suicides to every 100,000 of popu
lation, while In 1801 It nail Increased
to twenty-six suicides for the same
number of Inhabitants. In eighty years
the suicides lu Belgium have Increased
Hourly seventy-five per cent., lu Swe
den nbout the some, ami lu Denmark
nbout thirty-five per cent. In Prussl-.
It has i-'oro than quudr tpleil, lu France
It has more tin..- tripled, and lu Aim
trln nud Snxouy it has more thiiti
doubled.
THE TRIALS OF GENIUS.
Sometime when I'm a-woikin' jest my
very level bed
To write n high-toned poem, I feel terri
bly distressed
To have to lay my pencil down nn' ko to
doin chores
Je.it like n common mortal, while in fmry
soars an' soars.
It's bint I t' worryin to have a high horn
fc'nius while
Yotfln't possess the whetewitlial to run
ifrtlfi thing in style;
Air wbe I Inlt my writin by, some huyly
'" tank t do,
t ask my"lf. "Did Sliakespcrc ustcr to
f linvqjjus tuals, ton?"
I fancy I e see him, now, a-workin' on
his pjiy.
An' runnin up agin' the snags T hnd these
later days.
I Vpose jelt when he'd strike a thought lie
know ed wai nomcthin' good
He'd have to leie it, then and there, an
go an' split the wood.
An' when some big. inspirin' theme waa
jest nbout to dawn
I calculate that that's jest when he'd have
to mow the lawn.
An' when the muse wai soarin' high I've
been right there, you know
The garden needed tendin' nn' he'd have
to use the Jioe.
A genius hain't got any right to have to
putter round
A-tloin' nil the common thing that every
where abound;
His hull big lifework ort to be to sort o
rest nn' wait
An' kind o' let his hair grow out nn' think
o' something great.
That's what I tell Kliza-shcs my wife
hut, no-sir-ee'
Fer thirty year that woman has been jest
n-houndin' me;
An' when I tell her genius nin t no hand
nt doin' chores,
She smiles an' says, "Well, genius, then,
'ill hnve to sleep outdoors!"
Nixon Wnterman, in Puck.
HUMOR OK THE DAY.
Nell "A scientific mnn declares that
kisses nre full of electrlcltv." Belle
"Perhaps that's why some people Hud
them so shocking."
"Credulous?" said the girl In the tan
coat. "Credulous! Why, muininu act
ually bcilovos the epitaphs on tomb
stones." Wnshlng n Post.
Wlgwng "is thnt n paying Invest
ment of yours?" Sappehead "Yes;
that's tho trouble. I've been paying
ussessments ever since i went Into It."
"A little earning Is dangerous
thing," Mr. Hard up snitl philosophi
cally wheu the landlord seized his of
fice furniture for rent. Montreal Star.
I saw a sight that filled with awe
My soul nnd made me quiver.
'Twas wondrous strange, I swear I saw
A shad too up the river.
Philadelphia Press
"Say, pop," said little Willie, "what's
a running account .'" "One that you
have to chnse nfter, my boy," replied
the old gentleman i. .tnily. Philadel
phia Record.
"Why. wha4 possible objection can
you ha e to Miss Withers? She Is a
snlnt If ever there was one." "Stick
her In the calendar, then, but don't ask
her to the house." Brooklyn Life.
Let's build a few more libraries.
The world more jovial looks
We'll all quit making trouble soon.
And go to uiuking honks.
Washington Stai .
Tourist "1 suppose I can't get a
train for three hours?" Sttitlou Agent
"Oh, yes; your train leuves in live
minutes." Uourlst "That's u great
rzl off my mind." Ohio State Jour
nal. First Scientist "I near that our
dog went mud nud tilt Professor Sung
roots. Any Lerlotis results?" Second
Scientist "Yes, the poor beast J
barking lu Latin and Greek!" Chi
cago News.
"Oh, yes, he's traveling In cog. They
say he's a knight In England a knight
or baron of something." "He'd better
be careful or n night lu New York will
make him barren of everything."
Philadelphia Picss.
"Oh, pa!" exclaimed the denr girl,
her supphlru eyes Lrltnmlur, over with
tears. "How can you say society Is
hollow?" "Why shouldn't I?" retorted
pa. with u coarse, throntty laugh, that
betrayed the fact tint he paltl i. -re
attention to making money than ac
quiring pol ... "Why .shouldn't I.
when I have to pay the bills for feed
ing the gang that you have here at
your blow-outs?" Indianapolis News,
II 1m Amazed Daucliter.
The wife or a Gordon Highlander
received some t me ago nu Invitation "
to visit him ut the barracks In Scot
land. She did so, taking with her their
little slx-year-old girl. When they ar
rived, as It happened, the husband was
engaged on sentry tl-ty, und so they
could not approach him.
The child eyed her daddy" with u
rather sorrowful but amiized exptes
slon, us he paced up ami down the
square shouldering ills title nud wear
ing a kilt. She had never before be
held him thm anayed, and for u few
minutes Hie speciacle seemed to be
quite beyond her; but for no longer
could she keep silent.
"Mamma," she said, in n voice that 4
betrayed a trace of childish covetous
ness. "if ihuhly finds, the man what
stole 'ees trousers, will he gluiino
Hut little frock?" Tlt-Hlts.
A I'Wh-iinil-I.lzHnl Story.
One nfternoon I thought I would go
down the river anil troll. I had on
my hook n live minnow, and lu little
while hud u strike and I hooked my
first Hsu, which seemed to be quite a
large one. I reeled him w.ieie I could
see him and found It was u large pike,
twenty-llvo or thirty Indies long. I
pulled him up to my liont, but when K
I lifted h in iiom the water he was as
light as a feather. I measured him
nud found he wns just thirty Inches
long, ami should have weighed eighty
or nine pounds, while he only weighed
two. Ho was Just skin nud bones. I
killed him, took my knife nud cut him
open, nud found a llvo lizard, llvo
Inches long. In his stomach. The rep
tile was as black as coal and very live- .
ly. living twenty-four hours utter I
took him from his prlt-on.-Fleld und
Stream.
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