I
OUT 'IHERE
r ' T.
The trow are rawing there today,
1 And blue fmoke from the burning heap
Of brush i curling up, away
Aero the hill; the htitiRiy ohecp
Nip off the fiMt green blades of (trass, )
Anil move nlonR, with iioim down
'And lt rainy eye, and where they piM
The yielding od i bare nnd brown;
The lark sit on the HlantiiiR stake ,
And shift (or joy, nnd in the air
A xuhtle omct)iing tend to make
Men still believe in Hod, Out there
I hear the clang of gonu and feci
The iar of traffic in the street;
1 cn the rugged bcnuar atcnl
Along, with Ahullling. weary feet;
J hear tnen, prematurely bent,
Complaining of the wrong they near.
1 hear men talk of "cent per cent
1 nee men crowding everywhere,
'And through it all, day after day,
I hear the uouuier voire m uuuui-
The city's hone i flung away,
The dty'a Hod is driven out.
A
SK)KMK0eSKH(rS8KHHq
IN THE CHUDLEIGHS'
The Story of a Dreadful Niht.
Ity Dnrolliy I'ruper.
$K&BBCH
"VX"(TTl2 benr or marvellous es-
Wi'iipi'K mill adventures
more or hss thrilling, yet
perfectly authentic, but I
think for sheer "bloodcurdleiiess"
there me few to bent u strange niul
horrible experience of i frlenil of mini'.
As I t lit ii U It limy Interest others 1 give
It here ns nearly as I can remember lu
her own word?. For obvious reasons
the names given to both people and
places are purely llclltlous.
It was In Hie winter or 1SS! Hint I
nceUcil an Invitation from my old
friend .Mrs. Cliudlclgh to pi and make
one of their annual house-party at
"llnthlln," their Suffolk home. I cheer
fully accepted, for "digs" are a dull
place nl any time, and If there Is any
period when they arc duller than an
other I think It Is din-Ins the "merry
season." Therefore the 18tli of the
month saw inc. stepping out of tlio
train at tie famllla- little station
of Elmcrslicld. I found that Norah
bad Kent the en fringe to meet me. and
had thoughtfully provisioned It with a
foot-warm - and home nips, of which
I was very glad, for Hie weath'T was
decidedly "sharp." There had been
more than one Tall of snow already,
nnd everybody prophesied a "white"
season.
After a drive of three-quarters of an
hour or so we drew up before the
house, anil my friend came out on the
steps to welcome anil carry me off to
a comfortable cup of tea In her bou
doir. When we were snugly ensconced
before the tire nnd had duly chatted
about various subjects of home Inter
est Norah Cliudlclgh said: "Oh, Mary,
dear. I am so sorry, but will you mind
sleeping lu the 'summer-house'' The
fact of the matter Is that Henry has
Invited a friend of bis and his wife to
stay here for ten days or a fortnight,
and ns It Is their first visit I have been
obliged to give them your usual room,
nil the others In the nouse being al
ready occupied."
llefore 1 go farther I must, explain
i that the "summer-house" Norah re
"fefred to was no? what is usually tin
derstood by the term. It had been
built by the Inst owbers ot "Kntlilln"
(for what use I do not know) at n dis
tance of some 1.10 or !!$' -yards from
tjjo bouse, aud consisted of two good
idzed rooms. One of these .' rid large
French wludows round three sides of
Jt, nnd the Chudlelghs had arranged I
it as in etauorate Kinit or summer
house, with book-cases, easy chairs,
writing-table and everything that
T'ould add to Its comfort. The other
they had fitted up as a bedroom for
use when the house was full.
I -was not at that tlm n nervous
girl, and the Idea of sleepin;- unite
nlouo awny from the bouse aroused
not tlio slightest uneasiness in my
wind, so 1 readily ucijuleseed lu the
proposal.
We passed a very pleasant evening.
Most of the other guests were known
to me, and Norah and her husband
made an excellent host ami hostess.
.When we were in the drawing-room
nfter dinner the conversation turned
upon superstitions, and from those,
very naturally, drifted to ghosts, and
we uiuused ourselves by recalling all
the stories of the kind wo could re
member till the hour air. veil for bed.
"Very silly subject ir us to have lilt
on, Miss Hentley," said Colonel Child
leigli, ns be bade me goodnight, "when
you are going to sleep lu such solitary
seclusion."
"Ob, Mary Is not frightened; yon
don't believe lu any of those things,
do you'"
"Not I, Norah." I answered, laugh
ing; "it would take a very specinl kind
of ghost to frighten me."
Early hours were the custom at
"Kathllu," and It was only a little af
ter 11 o'clock when' I left the bouse,
preceded by a maid carrying a lantern.
My room looked very bright and cosy.
'A good, big tire was burning brightly,
and n shaded lamp stood on one of the
tables.
The girl Inquired whether there was
any way In which she could assist me
further, and receiving n reply in the
negative, was about to leave the room
when she suddenly turned back, say
ing, "There Is something wrong with
this lock, miss, and tho door won't fas
ten on the Inside. Hut If yon llku I
will lock It on the outside and take the
key away with me, and when 1 come
;wltn your hot water In the morning I
can unfasten it."
, I did not much like the idea of being
locked in, but as the girl said she
CSVfluld be sure to coiuo early, aud
iir. " "
Out there the yellow willow gleam,
llrown furrow lie along the slope;
The ky i tniirored in the Htrcamt),
And every aeeel ih full nf hope;
'Die cackling of the faithful hen "
1'ioclaim another duty done;
The lilac bud haveburnt again,
The calve lie dozing in the mm;
The earth eem palpitant below,
A rciiHC of life i in the air.
'And all thing have combined lo how
That (lod I (i till aupreme Out There.
f
IV.
Oh, f offer, cc.ne a while to gncer!
Above the shouting of the throng, '
The clanging, and the roar, 1 hear
The happy latk'a immortal song. "
"The city' Ood i driven out,
The people' hope i dead," you pry;
"(JrcrdV alimy trail i all about,
The ationg urvive, the weaker die!"
Hut ye that angrily complain
Against the city hearth' way,
'Ah, know ye not that Ood'n domain
Still Mrctche wide Out There today!
Chicago HeconMlcralif.
SUMMERHOUSE.
hinted that they had lately been much
troubled with tramps in that neighbor
hood, I thought It best to agree.
As soon as she was gone beyond re
cnll, however, I wished I had never
consented. The possibility of tire for
the tlrst tlm presented Itself to my
mind, aud I vividly pictured myself
locked lu there with no chance of es
cape ami being burnt to death within
a few hundred yards of my friends.
However, tnere was no help for It
now, and I commenced lo undr'.ss,
llefore I had finished I was laughing
ut myself for my fears.
As I turned out the lamp I thought
I heard a slight sound. 1 listened, bill
It was not repeated. "Only Imagina
tion or something outside," I mur
mured to myself, ami getting Inlo bed
was asleep In a very few minutes.
I must have been In bed a couple of
hours, I should think, when I awoke
with n start and that horrid feeling of
having been -wakened by it vague
something without knowing what.
I sat up in bed ami peered across the
room. The tire had burnt so low that
only the mere outlines of the ill nil t lire
were visible; whilst all tne corners
were lu absolute darkness. I listened
Intently for some minutes, but not a
sound broke the silence except a faint
tapping, caused, I knew, by the Ivy
being blown against the window-pane.
I lay down again and was Just dozing
off when-that sound was repeated.
Yes, there was no doubt about It this
time. A peculiar seutlllng noise, and a
panting sort of breathing like that of
some large animal- Issuing, It seemed
to me, from under the bed! t
A horrible sickening fear seized me.
All the stories of the evening before
Hooded back on my memory. How ab
surd my own words seemed to be now
-"I should not be frightened!" Not
be frightened, Indeed, when I was
quaking so with fear that I could hard
lyjireathe! The nol -e. hail been gradu
ally "increasing, nnd suddeuly some
frightful thing rushed out from under
my bed, seullled across the room and
fluug Itself down in front of the lire.
It appeared, so far as I could make
out In the dim light, to be a shaggy
sort of animal, rather bigger than a
large dog. Of course, I .uessed at once
what It was. Home wild beast had cs-
capcit from a traveling menagerie auu,
" . .. .-
wandering luto the grounds, bad ar
rived at Jio open door. Going lu, It
bad found a comfortable spot uuder
the bed and bad gone to sleep there.
Such was my theory formed In a mo
ment of utter terror.
I lay speculating as to whether It
would be possible for me to reach the
door and escape before the creature
noticed me. Then I suddenly remem
bered that even If 1 reached the door
lu safety I should be unable to get out!
Horror of horrors; 1 was obliged then
to spend the w.iole night locked lu
with a wild beast!
What 1 endured no words can tell.
My forehead and bauds turned cold
and clammy, nnd I trembled so with
fear that I expected every moment the
creature would hear the bed shaking
and thus become aware of my pres
ence. Half an hour, or perhaps an
hour (it seemed ten to me ut the time),
passed without anything occurring.
and then the beast suddenly arose,
and, bounding across the Intervening
space, sprang on to the foot of my
bed. I should have screamed If 1 had
been able. Thank tSod. fear had de
prived me of the power. Still the
creature did not seem to have noticed
me, for It only made a queer sort of
clucking noise, nnd then curled Itself
up. and In a few minutes I heard It
commence to snoro.
All through the long, long, weary
hours of the night 1 lay there, not dar
ing to close my eyes for an Instant,
and In mortnl terror lest nay minute
the brute might wnke up ami tear me
to pieces. Never before or since have
hours seemed to pass so slowly. The
lire burned Itself out In a ery short
time, and 1 was left with my horrible
companion lu the pitch darkness, and
d-cad and agony. I hardly dared even
to breathe as 1 listened to the deep
snoring of the dreadful thing, and
whenever the sound grew softer my
heart nlmost ceased to beat, with tl.e
appalling be.lef Unit my last hour had
come at lust.
How ardently 1 longed for dawn
heaven only knows. 1 really felt at
last that If It did not come soon 1
could not bear tho strain of this terri
ble expectancy any longer and must
go out of my mind. To add to my
J misery. 1 was Ui't'luHlug to suffer f torn
most dreadful cramp, brought on
through lying still for so long In the
same attitude. And I harill;- dared to
move In any wny to ease myself for
fear of waking tho loathsome creature.
At length a pale Hue of light appeared
on the wall opposite to me, ami ns It
gradually increased In brilliancy nnd
dimensions I was nble to distinguish
first various objects about the room,
and then the hideous thing on the be.!
At tlrst, of course, it was only an In
distinct mass, but as the light grew
and It became more clearly visible the
horrible truth was forced upon me. I
had been attempting to steel myself
for the revelation, aud waB expecting
I might see a wolf, a baboon, or even
n bear, but lu my wildest Imaginings I
bad never dreamed of the possibility
of this! Merciful heavens! what should
what could I uoV
The shock of the awful discovery
overcame me completely. I was pe:
fectly paralyzed with fear, and every
other sense was numbed for the time
being. I lay thus In a balf-falntlng
condition, until the sound oh. how
unspenkably welcome! of the key in
the lock roused me to action. 1 sprang
from the bed, and, rushing from the
room, almost knocking over the maid
as I did so. dragged the doorto, scream
ing, "Lock It! Oh. lock It!" and fell in
sensible at her feet.
The rest of this narrative I did not
learn till some months afterward. The
maid, dreadfully alarmed, Instinctively
did as 1 told her, and then ran for help.
I was carried to the house, where I
received the prompt care and attention
of a doctor who was numbered among
the guests.
He said that I must have received a
very severe shock; of what nature he
was. of course, unable to say. He ex
pressed grave fears as to what the ef
fect might be on my brain, and or
dered that I was to kept absolutely
quiet, nnd on no account to be ques
tioned In any way.
Thus all chance of finding out the
cause from mo was effectually put a
stop to. The only wny that remained
was to Interrogate the servant. Shu
was sent for. and eagerly detailed the
little that she knew, with the result
that It was resolved to go and examine
the room. Colonel Oliudlelgh. accom
panied by several of the other gentle
men, Immediately set oil' for the pur
pose. As they were crossing the lawn
they observed two men In uniform
searching among the shrubs and
bushes.
On catching sight of the Colonel they
Immediately came forward ami ex
plained that they were looking Tor a
dangerous lunatic who bad escaped
from the Elniorsflold Asylum two dnys
before. They had been beating the
whole country-side, but their elTorts
had so far been fruitless. They had
thought It Just possible he might have
entered these grounds and concealed
himself somewhere, but as they had
found no trace of him such was evi
dently not the case. At this point one
of the gentlemen suddenly exclaimed,
"Look lu the summer-house!" The
whole party hurried thither, the door
was unfastened, and sure enough the
dangerous maniac was found there!
Ho was secured after a desperate
struggle. In which he succeeded lu
wounding one of the keepers with a
knjre (howjiud from whcnce procured
remains 'a "mystery), but Ti nw n r" Ti 1 1 1 -mately
safely taken back to the asy
lum. In course of time I got better, but It
was years before I quite recovered
from the horrors of the night I spent
locked up with what proved to be a
homicidal uiaulae.-Tlu Wide World
Magazine. ntti- ifjboy.s
Vlower Ali Man'a Vrlie.
He was only an ash man aud be
was covered from head to foot with
the dust that had sifted over him In
bis hard day's work, but be had a
love for the beautiful as keen as many
of the well-dressed persons who
passed him, some with u look of dis
gust. The man, wearing the otllcial
llverv of those who cart ashes and
garbage from the front of houses, was
busy with the ash cans lu Fifth ave
nue the other morning, when he
found a potted azalea lu full bloom
lying In one of them.
It hud been cast out by a rich fami
ly before Its beauty had faded, and
the ash man seized It as a prize. He
smiled as be looked at It. and a wom
an missing with a friend remarked
that the man probubly had a wife he
loved in his humble home somewhere
lu the city, or perhaps a sick child.
At least be carefully blew the mist
from the little shrub with n weulth of
pink blossoms on It. nnd then plnced
It on the front of his cart. It wasn't
much, only a thing tumbled luto an
ash can. but It was as valuable to tho
poor man as If It had come to him In
the gaudy wagon of u fashlouable
tlorlst.
Few persons noticed bow the man
ltmied over ns be drove his cart along
aud how he smiled as he saw the plant
with Its bright (lowers, but those who
did went on with a kinder and more
tender feeling lu their hearts for hon
est sons of toll, no matter how hum
ble. New York Telegram.
Mary llntrret! m l'rotrtt.
A woman whose maid accompanied
her to a vegetarian recta tint :it lu Lon
don was soon the reclpleut o a pro
test. "But, Mary," she argued, "the
food Is palatable you cleared your
plate and It Is certainly wholesome.
Why do you object?" "It ain't that
bad to taste, ma'am," respouded Mary,
tTrtnly, "but I don't call It wholesome;
no, ma'am, not when they till a body's
pinto with tomato aud cabbage ami
parsnlpn aud potato all at once, nnd
give you llshball things without any
tlsh lu 'em, and gooso things without
nny gooro In 'em, nud croquette things
mndo of mixed up greens. Sure, ma'am,
is Blves 'e- confusion of the sjomaejil"
STALKED BY VULTURES.
TVIillr n Mn tV TrnlllitK n Hnrk, Hie
ttlnl followed tlir Mnn.
T met with a curious and not alto
gether pleasant experience (writes an
Anglo-Indian correspondent, who has
done a good deal nf large ami small
game shooting In India) when 1 was'
one day stalking a black buck. Be
tween me and my quarry lay a large
flat Held of black cotton soil bordered
by n very low, straggling and thinly
growing hedge of small babul trees.
My only way to get a shot was to cross
this, keeping the bushiest tree between
me nnd the buck, who had not much
to browse on, and was, therefore, sel
dom motionless. 1 proceeded to do the
hundred yards on the lint of my stom
ach. This on loose, hard-baked black
cotton soil was no Joke. I pushed my
rifle on ahead, then, wriggling past It
until the muzzle was near my knee, I
would pass It on In front again and
ho on.
Progress was slow, aud 1 was so ab
sorbed that 1 failed to observe shad
ows crossing and reorosslng my path
and circling round until I bad gone
some fifty yards. Then the whirring
of wings attracted my ears, and al
most at the same moment a vulture
lnnded on the ground not twenty yards
away. 1 looked up. The air was alive
with these repulsive-looking birds.
Then It Hashed across me that I was
being stalked! Doubtless these birds
were nttractcd by my extraordinary
method of procedure and mistook me
for a wounded or dying man niaklug
a ti ii ii 1 effort to reach some shady spot.
This was especially possible, as the
experience occurred last April In a
famine district where deaths by the
wayside were not Infrequent. Ity
looking up I had evidently shown my
seU to the buck, for he was now off at
full tilt. I, therefore, look pot-shot at
the vulture nt twenty yards, but did
not nllow for the sighting sutllclently.
and missed him. The thought of
being "waited for" by a Hock of vul
tures while very much alive and well
was. to say the least, uncanny.-Pall
Mall Oazette.
tllniler mill (Hurler.
"Our boss Is Just about the most
absent-minded man In the world." said
one of the clerks In a large olllce In
Caiouilelet street, "ami bis wife Is con
tinually calling him down about It,
but It doesn't seem to do any good.
Strings tied around his lingers, cards
In his hat, and even plain ineinoraiuia
right before his eyes on bis desk gen
erally get him tangled up all the
worse. When we bad that last cold
snap a few weeks ago, his wife told
him In the mottling to be certain to
send a man to replace a broken pane
lu one of their bedroom windows. He
knew bow mad she'd be if he forgot,
so he kept repeating the word 'glazier'
to himself nil the way down on the
street car, and as soon as he got his
head In the door be .shouted to the
otllce boy: 'Johnny! write "glazier" on
my desk blotter immediately!' "With
that ho felt safe, and It would bav
beeu all right. I dare say. If the fool
kid hadu't written glacier Instead of
'glazier.'..,- iv..:'"-
"Th6old man thought no more of
the matter until lat" In the afternoon,
when he happened to notice the mem.
on the blotter and, began to scratch Ids
head. 'Glaeler"ghfcfcr!' he muttered:
'I wonder what the dickens I Intended
that to remind me of!' He thought
a long time, then suddenly he bright
ened up. 'Ah! I have It now'.' be ex
claimed; 'glacier- a mass of Ice! That
means they are out of Ice ut the house
nnd want a quantity. So be rushed
over to the 'phoue and ordered 'J(X)
pouuds of Ice to be sent up to bis resi
dence by n special wagon. That was
the coldest night of the year, too. I'd
like to know exactly what his wire
said wheu be got home." New Or
leans Times-Democrat.
The Grratcut Kcr.
livery year or two "the largest ship
ever built" Is launched. The latest le
viathan Is the Celtic, wnleh slid off the
ways at Helfust on Thursday and
dropped three pairs of anchors to a
paudemonium of Jubilation. It was
certainly an Inspiring occasion, aud
the Oormans will have to try again,
For a time they held the belt with the
Deutscbland and the Kaiser Wilbel: i
der Orosse, but the Oceanic took the
record away from them, aud now
comes the Celtic to eclipse her sister
ship. The Dutchmen were respective
ly (IC'J.7 and tPJU feet In length, 07 and
Ot) feet In breadth, and MA and litt
feet lu depth, and their griNs tonnage
vas 10,502 anil ll.IU!). The dimen
sions of the Celtic and Oceanic are as
follows: Length, 80.UaudtlSo;brendth,
-J, and 0S.3; depth, 11.1 aud -H.r.. The
gross tonnage of the Celtic Is 'J0.880
and of the Oceanic 17,'-'7-l. While the
Oceanic Is a little mors than four feet
longer and a trltlc deeper the Increased
breadth and the great advantage lu
totiuage make the new ship the world
beater. She will carry a crew of aa.1
men and 'J8.VJ passengers, a total of
3104. New York Sun.
KucltuuVn Col IMeld.
A French author, Monsieur Ii. Lore,
has recently discussed again the qucs
tlon of hv. probable duration of the
Uritlsli coal tlelds. Assuinlug that the
prosperity aud power ot O'rcat Britain
depend upon her supply of coal, he
thinks that "the end of Britain" '-.
duo within the coming century. He
Uses the date 1050 for the complete
exhaustlou of the attainable supply of
coal lu the British Isles. To this state
ment the English scleutlHe Journal,
Nature, replies that Monsieur Loze has
failed to take account of recent Inves
tigations proving that mining can be
economically carried on, at much great
er depths than 1!000 fect-tho limit as
slimed by the French author and con
sequently that the British coal supply
with last Indefinitely longer than his
1 (,-akuIfttlOH shows, " - -s
As an evidence of prosperity If may
he noted that the country's birth rate
Is rapidly Increasing.
Unfortunately cyclones are troubles
that the quicker they blow over the
more harm Is likely to be done.
The failure or the Sunday Oolf bill
lu the Massachusetts House will be re
garded on the links as a legislative
foozle.
The School Trustees of Chicago have
decided to spend nearly $-1,000,000 this
year on new school buildings, so that
every applicant for admission may be
assured a full dny's Instruction. That
Is a wise expenditure of public money.
An automobile that makes ninety
eight miles an hour ought to he speedy
enough to satisfy the youth of the be
ginning of the century. Hun on nny
other than u perfect road It would
probably cud lu a total wreck within
an hour.
An Ohio lawyer thinks that a much
better use can be made of the mur
derer than lo kill him. Ills plan Is to
confine the murderers lu prison for
lire, make them work, ami contribute
their production to the support of
those who had been dependent on their
victim the widows, children or par
cuts. According to the State Department
Americans going abroad ought to take
passports with them, as the authori
ties on the Continent or Kurope are
becoming more strict than they used
to be. It Is a simple ami Inexpensive
precaution, and globe-trotters ought to
accept the warning as a word to the
wise.
.(esse M. Itoper. in command of the
Petrel lu Manila harbor, went to his
death fearlessly, nobly, in the effort to
save the lives of some humble ship
mates. He had not the aid of the ex
citement of adventure. He had not
the hope of fame or reward. His was
an exhibition of the highest, the most
Inspiring form of physical and moral
courage, lie belongs to the ranks of
those heroes that can be held up as ex
amples without any ueee.-slty for qual
itlcatlons, omissions or apologies.
One thing that materially helps to
stiffen the Iron market Is the prospec
tive heavy railway construction to be
undertaken this year. The Hallway
Age gives a list of projects under con
tract for oflOO miles of new construc
tion. There are prospective enter
prises which would Increase the total
to 8-J00 miles. The greater part or the
new rails will be laid down lu the
Southern States. The development of
the Interior resources of the South Is
at present the chief objective effort of
speculative enterprise.
The fundamental Idea of a course
in physiology In the public schools 's
hygiene. The aim Is to supply a basis
for the more important hygleule
knowledge, which not ouly pertains
to the care and preservation of health
but which gradually Inculcates an In
telligent respect for the wonderful
structure known as the human body.
(Jive a child a proper knowledge of
structure and functions of the various
organs of the ody and the chances
of his abusing It or Ignoring the laws
of Health are greatly diminished,
states the Chicago Hecord-Herald.
Will the Cunttcd Stales have a pop
ulation of aOO.000,000 by the cud of
the twentieth century' Mr. O. 1'.
Austin, Chief ot the Pulled States Bu
reau of Statistics, In an article lu the
Forum, answers the question lu the nf
Urinative. Mr. Austin very carciully
considers the most densely populated
districts and countries of the present
day, and their conditions, and holds
that the United Stales, with lis enor
mously Increasing cultivable urea, Its
resources, Its rapid progress In eco
nomics and mechanics, will be more
able to sustain such a population a
century hence than me the prosperous
nations of Europe to sustain their pop
ulation or to-day.
The report of the work of the Dead
Letter Otllce for the last year shows
one branch of the Ooveruinent service
of which It Is no louger feasible to cen
tre all the business In Washington. It
was found that the dispatch of dead
letter matter from the Philippine isl
ands to Washington not only InvoP ed
great delay, but on account of the dlUI
cultles of language, prevented the
handling of It to the best advantage.
So a dead-letter otllce has been estab
lished In Manila, aud business between
this country and the Islands Is con
ducted In the same manner as between
tTTo United States and any other coun
try of the Universal Postal Uulou.
The same Is true or Porto Hlco. The
dead-letter otllce tlrst established then
was abaudoued, but ban sluce beeu re
vived, - -
A GIRL'S WAY.
I ak her if he love me.
She shake her head, mid when f
1 turn to leave he awct-tty amile,
And hue me bark again.
"Ala1 you love another!"
In unpry tone I say;
She noils, hut it I turn to leave
She sweetly bid me stay.
With outstretched arm 1 offer
My love - my all to her,
And seek to clasp her, but she erie:
"Stand back! How dare you, air?"
With sinking heart and hopclcs
I turn, once more, and lot
1 hear a oft. sweet voice that says:
"I wish you wouldn't go."
I throw my arm around her, J
And pri-FK her to my heart,
And, after while when she gets time.
She says- "You think you're smart!''
S. E. Kiner. in Chicago HeconMIcrald.
PITH AND POINT.
"Has your engagement been an
nounced':" "Only Informally, to u
few enemies." Puck.
I-idlth "I should hate to be tho
President." ,lack-"Anil why?" Edith
"Oh, one has to be ov r forty, you
Unow.".luiIge.
How nice if it would come about
In this old world mi funny
That noverty nnd tumble were
" As n.ird to cet a money. A
Philadelphia Heconl.
Mrs. Toolette "I think you will
like your little attic room." Mr.
Scribbles-"I date say; short stories;
are lu vogue nt pics "lit." Ohio State
lourual.
"And how did your husband become
so famous, Mrs. WleklehumV" "Oh,
whenever anybody did anything he
always got Interviewed about It."
Chicago Hecord-Herald.
Willie-"Pa, what's an 'old flame'' "
Pa "My son. when a man speaks of
'his old flame' he refers to something
over which he Used to burn hlt
money." Philadelphia Press.
"They UM'd to burn widows In India
along with their dead husbands. What
happens now'.'" "In the absence of
tire they perhaps go looking for
matches." P. lladelphla Times.
Madge-"She Is singularly deficient
lu the subject of history." Marjorle
"What else cotild you expect, when
she spends all her time reading thu
popular historical novels'" Judge.
When a girl begins to have beaux,
She H apt to tin ti up her ueaiis,
As father and mother,
At Mtci ami brother,
A, i.l I..1I flwit.i in In. nil (li.ti,. ..ii-n rnnr
itii. .vi. ,iiv,ii iv iiv.ii. .in... ,.i.i i vaiu. .
Cliiiiigo Daily News. "1
Tompkins"! am afraid we haven't
much for dinner to-day, but such as It
Is" Cheerful Idiot -"Don't make
auy excuse, old chap. Itemembcr,
I've dined at your uotisu before."
Tit-Hits.
.Mrs. Peltlt -"Whenever 1 express a
desire for unythlng, my husband
never objects. Mrs. Ig. Nord "Same
with me; I can express the desire - :
often as I please; It never disturbs
hint." Philadelphia Press.
"She Is very nice and all that, but
she Is altogether too critical." "I a
sure you she never speaks of you but
in the kindliest way.
'P'raps so.
but every time I sec her she gives me
the Impression that my frock doesn't
tlt."-Hrooklyn Life.
"Do you not regret renouncing tho
devotion of those men who hare so
often cheered you as their leader'"
"No," answered the Filipino who bad
just taken the oath of allegiance, "I
have thought the matter over care
fully. I'd rather have three meals a
day than three cheers." Washington
Star. f
!ui.inr I'nit With n Saw.
A .lapauesu carpenter at the Pnrjf
Aineilcau Exposition grounds lu Bur
falo, N. Y., the other day astonished
the workmen of other nationalities by
bis skill with a saw. At a few minutes
after the noon bell had rung a group
of big brawny American, Scotch and
Irish carpenters gathered near the
Japanese Pavilion for lunch. One ot
the little .lap workmen was so busily,
engaged In finishing up a Job of saw
ing through a heavy beam that he paid
no attention to the bell. The group ut
luncheon watched him with much in
terest, and suddenly set up a howl of
laughter as they beard the unmistaka
ble screech of steel on steel, showb!?;
that the little man's saw bud run
against a spike.
The .tap paid no attention to the
laughter and also no attention to tlm
spike. He simply kept on suwlng, and
a few minutes later the beam fell Jo
the ground in two pieces. The men
immediately rushed to the spot to ex
amine the cut, and found that the
spike had been cut through us cleau'y
as with a cold chisel.
They examined the foreigner's saw,
round that not a tooth was broken,
nor a bit of edge dulled, aud then tool;
off their hats and gave three roujlug
cheers for the nation that could bring
forth a bit of metal like that saw, aud
the mau with the skill to use It. .
Not Her Tallin-' Friend.
A doting Chicago father, whose
flrst name Is Arthur, has a little
daughter four years old. Tho family
recently moved to u new locality in tho
city, only a few doors away from a
street car barn, where several mules
are kept.
The next morning nfter arriving at
the new home, the little girl heard
one of the street car mules braying.
It was the tlrst time she bad evfi
heard a mule bray, ami she listened
for a long time before she said:
-.Mamma, Is that onu of papa's
friends calling him'" ,
"No," said the mother, "I bear uo '
one calling your father."
"Yes, there Is," said the small girl. '
"Listen, now; don't you hear him call
ing 'Ar-thur, Ar-thur, Arthur''"
"Oh, yes," replied tho mother. "But
that Isu't one of your father's friends.
He has more sense than most of your
ifnther'a jilen'J.B." Chicago Ti-Jbuu, j
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