1 mrm 1 1 1 1 1 it
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THE BEST SONNET ON 1931.
An ago loo great for thought of our lo
A wave upon the alpepliim vn of time
"I lint. sinks nnd sleep forever, ore the
chimo . ,
I'tw that salutes with hiding, not with
1)011. , i , , ,
Tim dark year dead, Hit) bright year born
for man, ,
Dili; nil it dnyn Hint wntihid man eotv-
or nnd climb,
Frail an the foam, nnd nit tlir nun nub-
Sleep nound n they 'ial ulcpt ere thene
began.
nrfttl.
rwwwK mmw
REO
A Napoleon of
mm m s mmmmmmi m
) -I x EO was it Hliort, Hium Mu--
lay, with a face like a
rV skate, Imri'liiR his eyes.
(" which won- lone, narrow
llt.' apparently exptossinj, nothing
InU lnillflToroticr to the world In gener
al. Hul they would llht up some
times with n merry twinkle, when the
old rogue would narrnti' some of his
past villainies.
IIi Oil mo to SiuiKiii In the old da.VH,
long lieioro trentles nnd impcrhl Com
missioners nnd other glided viinltlcH
were drenmt of liy tin poor, hard work
ing tradeiH. He secine to have
dropped from the sky whin one. ufter
noon, as Tom Denlsou and Mime of hlx
friend sat on Charley tins Russian's
veranda, he marched up to them, fat
down on I he stops and mi III "Hood
livening."
"Hello," wild Sehluler. the skipper of
the Anna Ooddcn'io.t. "Who are yniiV
Where do you eome rutin?"
lie waved a short, Htuuipy mid black
rlay p!e lo nnd fro. anil replied vague
ly, "Oh, from somewhere."
mie one laughed, suiinlslng, cor
rectly enough, thin he had run away
fioin a ship. Then they remembered
that no vessel hud oven touched at
Apia for r. mouth. I. filer on he told
Denlmm that he had Jumped overboard
from a I In Iter' h Island guiinoman iih
she wax running down the coast ami
swain ashore, lauding at a point liven
ly miles distant from A phi. The na
tives In the various villages had given
him food, s: when ho reachid the town
he was not hungry.
"What do yon want, anyway'-" asked
Kehltiter.
"Some tobacco. pleu:c. And a dollar
or two. I can pay you back."
"When?" said Ilaiul.lon, tin pilot,
hicredulonsl.i .
The pipe described a .semi-circle.
"Oh. lo-moirow night; before per
haps," They gave him some lolmeeo and
malcncx and four Bolivian "Iron" half
dollars. He got up ..ml went ncioss
to Volkuer's eomlilued store and glog
shaiily over the way.
"lie's gone to buy a buttle of square
face," said Ilamillon.
"lit deserves It," said Denlsou,
gloomily. "A man of his age who could
Jump overboard and swim ashore to
this rotten country should be presented
with a ciihc and a knife to ml hi
throat with after he hail tlulshcil It."
In about (en minutes (he old fellow
c.ime out of Vnlknor'a store, carrying
two or three stout fishing lines, sev
eral packets of hooks and half a dozen
ship biscuits. He grinned as ho passed
tnu group on the veranda, am then,
sipiatllng down on the sward near by,
began to uncoil the lines ami bend on
l ho hooks Denlsou wa. Interested,
went over to him, and watched the
swift, skilful manner hi which the
ihlu brown lingers worked.
"Wheru uru you going to tlsh?" he
Imiuircd.
The blond, flat face ..t up. "Outside
in the deep water -wlxty, eighty,
la'ain."
Denlsou left lilin. and went aboard
the ancient, cockroach Infested craft
of which be was the eartbioken su
percargo. Half mi hour later 'Ueo
paddled past the schooner in a wretch
ed old cauoe, whoso outrigger was no
insecurely fastened that It threatened
to come udrllt every Instaut. The old
man grinned an he recognized U 'iiImui;
then, pipe In mouth, be went boldly
out through the passage between Hie
linen of roaring surf Into the tu aiding
blue beyond,
At it) o'clock, just as ilin supercargo
nnd tins Hklpper were turning In, the
ancient slipped quietly alongside In his
canon nnd clambered oti deck, la his
right ha ml he carried a big miIiiioii
like, tlsh, weighing about twenty
pounds. Laying It down on Hie deck,
uii pointed to It.
"Plenty more, in canoe like Dial. You
want soni more?"
Denlson went to Ihe utile and looked
over. The canoe was loaded dovvu to
the gunwhale with the weight o lish
tlsh that the lazy, touting Apluu na
tives caught but rarely, The old man
passed up two or three more, nnd pad
died ashore.
Next morning he repaid ti.e bor
rowed money and showed Denlsou .flR
--the result of his Hist night's work in
811111011. The saloonkeepers and other
white people said lie was a treasure.
Pish In Apia weie dear and hard to
get.
On the following Suiuln.7 a marriage
procession entered the Harotougati
Uhnpel hi Mutafelc, ami Tnrreo (other
wlsu 'Heo) was united to one or tho
prettiest ami least dlsieputnblo native
girls lu the town, whose parents recog
nized that Heo was likely to prove an
eminently lucrative and squeezable
son-in-law. Denlsou was best man,
und gave thu bride a tlve-dollar gold
piece (having previously made a prlv
ute arrangeiuent with the bridegroom
that he was to icccive value ror It lu
Huh).
Our mother em Hi, whole age none may
tell.
t'utn on no change; time lnd not her
wax pule
Or kindle. iun( hcil or quickened, when
the knell
Sound, nnd e riy arn the veering
. - Rnh
Knmvcll and imdiiijilil minwei in, Fnic
well J
J Tiii)-- ami the liriiv.-n of morning an
nvvera, Hail.
- Alecrnon Cliaile Swinburne, in J.on
don !-'nt in tin v lti'Viru,
Samoan Finance.
Mleo's wife's relatives luilll the new
ly married couple a house on Mutuutii
Point, and 'Ueo spent K In giving Hie
bride's local connections a feast. Then
the news spread, ami cousins nnd
second cousins ami various breedH of
aunts and half uncles traveled up to
Matautu Point to parlnke or Ills hos
pitality. He did his best, hut, in a day
or so. remarked sadly that he could
not catch tlsh fast enough hi n poor
canoe. If lie had a boat he could uuiku
$50 .. week, bo said; and with ?R0 n
week lie could entertained his wife's
honored friends continuously and lu n
helloing manner. The relatives con
sulted, ami thinking they had n good
thing subscribed, and bought a boat
(on credit from the German linn, giv
ing a mortgage on n piece of land as
security. Then they piesentril 'Heo
with the bunt, with many complimen
tary speeches, and snl down to chuckle
ut the wny they would "make the old,
fool work;" and the "old fool'' wont
straightway tu the American Consul
and declared himself to be a citizen
of the United States, nnd demanded
his country's protection, ns he feared
his wife's relatives wanted to beat him
out of the boat they had given hbii.
The Consul wrote mil something ter
rifying on a big sheet of paper and
tacked It lo the boat, and warned thn
surprised relatives that an American
man-of-war would prove! 'Iteo with
her gun, and then 'Iteo went Inside
his house and beat his wife with a
canoe paddle, and chased her violently
out of the place, nnd threateurd her
nrle relatives whli a mige knife and
fearful languune.
Then he took tne boat round the oth
er side of Ihe if hind, and sold li for
S'JOO to a trader, and came back to
Apia to Denlsou. nnd asked for a pass
age to Tululla; and the Herman thin
entered Into and took possession of the
mortgaged laud, while the Infuriated
relatives tore up and down the beach,
demanding Tarreo's blood lu a loud
voice. Tnrreo. with his WOO in his
trousers' pocket, sat on the schooner
rail and looked at them stolidly and
without 111 reeling.
Denlsou landed the auelenl at I.eone
Hay. on Tutulla, for he had Inkeii kind
ly to the old scoundrel, who had many
virtues and could ulve points to any
one, while or brown, in the noble an
of deep sea llshing. This lalicr quail
(lent Urn endeared him g.eatly to young
Tom, who, when he was not employed
lu keeping the captain sober, or bring
ing him round after an attack of "d.
I.'ri," spent all his spare time In fibbing,
either at sea or In port
'Iteo settled at Lcnne, nnd made a
good deal of money buying copra from
the natives. The natives got to like
him, lie was such a eon ii ntlowt old
fellow. When he hung the baskets of
coprn on the Iron hook of the steel
yard, which was marked to weigh up
to one hundred nnd fifty pound, he
would call their attention lo the marks
jib he moved the heavy "pea" along
the yard. Then, one day, some Inter
fering Tougau visitor examined the
pea, uud declared that It had been tak
en from a steelyard designed to weigh
uii to four bundled pounds. 'Iteo was
so hurl al the insinuation that he. Im
mediately took the whole apparatus
out beyond the reef In his boat and In
dignantly sank It lu tlfty tathoms of
water. Then he returned to his house,
bade him wife (he had married again)
a horruwful farewell, and said his
heart was broken by he slanders of a
vile Tongau pig from a mission school,
He would, he said, go back to Apia,
where he was respected by all who
knew him. Then nV began tu back up.
Some of tin natives sided with the
Tongau. some with 'Ueo, and iu it few
minutes a free tight took place on the
village green, ami 'Heo mood in his
doorway and watched It from his nar
row, plgllko eyes; then, being of a
magnanimous mil tire, he walked over
and asked three stout youths who had
beaten the Tongau Into a state or un
consciousness and were Juinplug on
his body, not to hurl him.
About midnight 'UeoV house was
secu to be In llames, and tho owuer,
uttering wild, weird screams or "Phi
ola!" "Fla olal" ("Mercy!" "Mercy!")
tied down the beach to his boat, fol
lowed by his wife, a largo fnt woman,
nnmed appropriately enough Tntiiiint'a
(abundance). They dashed Into the
wnter, clumbored Into tho boat, and bo
gnu pulling seaward for their lives.
Tut vlllugcts, thinking they had both
goue mad, gazed ut them lu astonish
ment, and then went back am) helped
themselves to the few goods suved
from the burning house.
As soou as 'Ueo and tho good wife
were out of sight of tho village they
put about, rail tho boat Into a little bay
further down the coast, planted a bag
containing $700, with tho best of the
triulo goods (salved before the tiro
was discovered), ami then set sail for
Apia to "get Justice from the Consul."
The Consul said It wa" a shocking
outrage; the captain of the United
m
fr.falc Hhlp Adirondack concurred; nnd
so the cruiser, with the Injured, stolid
faced 'Iteo on board, steamed off lo
Leone Hay ami gave Ihe astonished
natives twelve hours to iniike up their
minds an to which they would do pay
'Heo .51000 In ennh or have their town
liuriH'd. They paid ?0O0-nll they could
raise -nnd then tu a dazed sort of wny
pat ilown to meditate ns they saw the
Adirondack steam off again.
rteo gave his wife 11 omnll nhnre of
the plunder and sent her homo to her
parents. When Tom Deulson next nw
lilm he was keeping a boarding house
nt I.evnkn, In KIM. He told Deuison
ho M'ns welcome lo free board nnd
lodging for n year. 'Heo hnd his good
pnliito. iib I have said. Louis Becke, In
the Pall .Mall (Jnzette.
CHINESE CANARY BIRD.
ntnriilna; Holitlnr From the Philippine
llrlnff One of Tlirm Atonic.
A qtinr'"t of young American soldiers
returning from service In tbo Philip
pines, bntlle-scnrred nnd sunburned,
attracted considerable attention nt tbo
Union Depot yesterday because of the
attachment they Miowrd for n little
ennary bird which ouo of llietn was
taking along as a pet. The soldiers
wero returning to their renpectlvc
homes In the Eastern States and oti
their Journey from the Philippines had
touched nt Hong Kong. There one of
them purchased three fallow song-
tcrs. Two of the birds died before
completing the watery Journey, but
the third lived. For the bird nnd the
bamboo cage In which It travels lis
owner Invented a fortune of ten cents.
The bird was n sweet singer ami
filled the large waiting room at the
depot with Its melodies. A crowd
Conned In the section of ihe building
where the owner held the cnge on his
lap and ns much Interest wns mani
fested lu Ihe little singer ns in the sol
diers. Wh"ii the bird wasn't singing
he was playing, llepentedly he at
tacked the paper carpet of hts cago
and played with II as a pet dojr plays
with a ball of cord. The soldiers sep
nratcd here and the tlirc who were
forced to leave the bhd and his mas
ter seemed genuinely envious of the
man who was taking homo the little
pet as a souvenir of the long Journey.
-Kansas City Journal.
The Monk of Certnan,
A wrllii in Truth elves some inter
esting Information concerning the fa
mous moniMtry of Cortina. Among
other things, we have this glimpse in
to the domestic life of the monks-
The monks of (Vrtus.i are lords of
pilte a properly. Kadi has a house
of four room u bedroom, a study, a
workshop nnd a wood room. A pretty
little gnrden. which he may cultivate
as lie wishes, and a verandah looking
down the hill over villas and orchard,
complete the monk's doiunin. The
furniture is as scant ns possible. It
consists C a chair, a table, a rough cot
and a crucltlx. Heslde each door Is n
little wicket through which a brother
passes food to the monk. The poor
men have only two meals n
day, ami then no one to talk
to. The garden of the cell we
saw was laid out In plots of lilies
ami violets, and the gnrden tools were
still there 11 the last monk left them.
As we came out. we saw, across the
cloisters, a little piocesslon of four
monks retr.vniug ftom the ciiaiiel. Ah
onch reached the door of his cell, he
dropped silently from the Hue, drew
out a great key, opened the door nnd
shut liltnself in, tu he dead to the
world until the convent bell nt mid
night should call htm to the s-uine sort
or unsocial service.
A ltnd Combination.
V.'hy, oh why, will ladles who have
Ingrown nerves and are built on the
seml-hystcrlcnl lines of architecture In
sist on going into the pyramids? asks
a writer lu The Sphinx. I saw tho
other day a measly little ublmp of a
woman struggllug with (luce or four
stalwart Arabs this was in the pyra
mid, where the dust wns thick and the
darkness was thicker. She fainted,
and the Arabs hnd a lit, their caudles
went out mid the Hash of a magne
sium light showed n picture that was
a study. The funics of a smelling bot
tle, mingled withe the breath or the
Pharaohs, do not form 11 combination
that smells like peaches and cream;
besides, the bats Muttering about tho
place, making one's heart beat like a
trip hammer. Hut why should I lec
ture the poor little thlug? She's only
a woman with a grievance there ure
plenty or them. If she don't climb to
the top of the pyramids she grieves;
If she succeeds iu reaching It she
conies home walking on her ankles
and holding the small of her back, aud
she grieves; so I'm sorry 1 spoke.
llnunvrny Kleclrlrlty.
Something will have to be done with
that capricious fairy, electricity, says
the Paris Messenger. A runaway Is
something too fearful to contemplate.
A few days ago some electricity that
had escaped from somewhere fastened
Itself on to the Mlrabenu Bridge, and
for a short time electrilled the whole
muss. Foot passengers felt "crawly"
In the legs, and the horses begun to
caper as If they had St. Vltus's dance.
Tho htrange scene was at last put a
stop to by the police temporarily clos
ing the bridge to tratllc. The police
ure Inquiring Into the matter.
A Mutter or.IolU.
The Massachusetts Supremo Court
has decided that street car jolts do not
prove contributory negligence on the
part of thu motormau. This seems to
leave tho Held wide open for the Jolt
crs. The motorinan, If of a reveuge
tul or playful disposition enu Jolt the
very socks off his uncomplaining load
-for what's the good of complaining
In the face of tho Massachusetts pro-
cedent ? Cleveland liaiudealcr,
The ocean tonnage of all nations ag
gregates about nO.OOM00 Ions. About
l.OOO.iH'H) tons ot It Is Aiuuilcan.
Kansas City has discovered that the
vaccination of hoboes Is a cheap and
effective way of getting rid of the
pests.
Tho poor Count and Countess of Cas
tellnne must worry along on fHOO.'OO
a yenr. This may menu no vniillln lu
the Ice-crcnm.
Ilnlloon suicide Is ilechired to be the
latest Purls fad. Mko all other fads It
Is perishable. A man no sooner takes
It up than he has to drop II.
The Chicago Htroct CoimnlsHlopere
have declared against brick pavements
on thn ground that they cannot resist
the crushing effect of heavy trntllc.
The South African war moans heavy
cost to Orent Ilrltala. Hut It also
ineiins ruin to the haplcs burghers
whose lands arc raided nnd ravaged
by the Doers.
Historical nvents roporltd by cable:
The Herman Emperor changed his
clothes ntnl tho Duke of York has the
measles. Does not this repay the toil
of Joseph Henry and Cyrus V. Field?
The employment or American coal
In lhirope for gns and steaui purposes
has within the Inst twelve months Im
pressed Itself 011 the Industrial world
ns iKissessIng elements of grcal ms
slbllltles. That Missouri young mail who con
cluded an elght-ycnr courtship over the
telephone wire exposed himself at the
last to nn allegation of electric spark
ing. In the years previous he certain
ly hnd not been quick ns lightning.
It has again been discovered that
"blondes are approaching extinction."
Tho original alarmist in this mailer
was Sir Heiijnmiu Hleluirdson, who
wrote about It In Kngland half a cen
tury ago and established a theme for
subsequent esnaylslH. If the blonde Is
passing, like the nwnii. whose ileal li
song Is Its sweetest, she is growing
prettiest as she goes.
Giuseppe Verdi's long and splendid
career Is ended, and the uucrowiied
king of lyric drama sleeps among the
people to whom his life has been a
long benediction and artistic Inspira
tion. Through all coming time bis Im
mortal music will be cherished among
the priceless treasures of art. inspire
the emulation of genius and cast Its
witching spell around the souls of
myriads of icvereut listeners.
To the student of civilization Hie
Increase of certain kinds or crime iu
the United Stales Is startling. While
there is a decrease iu brutal crimes,
there is a marked lucrcaso iu crimes
Involving blackmail, and generally of
pecuulary crimes to coin a phrase -such
as embezzlement, lonrery. swind
ling and counterfeiting. Criminals in
this country are not only of a high de
gree of Intelligence, but many or them
nre quite well educated, belug gradu
ates of the common schools.
Connecticut, that thrifty State of
Yankee notions, which never sold a
wooden nutmeg, although in its early
duys It may possibly have whittled out
a few for fun, Is about to ship a mil
lion and a half pounds or wire ror use
on electric Hues in India. Little brass
Idols for Hindoo temple worship have
been modelled iu Birmingham for gen
enitlone, but It Is somewhat startling
to learn that New England Is called
upon to supply trolley wires ror tho
land of Vishnu and Sivn. The wheels
of the triumphal chariot of the Orien
tal deity were red with sacrltlce In
former yeaiH. Let us hope that the
victims of the modern Juggernaut will
never equal in numbers those earlier
lists of the slain, remarks the New
York Tiibuue,
Woman's educational progress can
be Illustrated by a few fads collected
by Proressor Harris, the National
Commissioner of Education. He re
ports that the high schools of the UnJ -
ted States iu ISiM) graduated SMJ.P-M
girls and ouly UO.IUI boys. Between
1871! and 1801) the number of mnle stu
dents lu college lu proportion to Hie
whole population iiicreusied uearly 100
per cont,, while the number of femnle
studetits Increased six fold lu the
same time. Of the blxty foremost col
leges nnd universities In the country,
all but nine confer degrees on women.
Every college founded, since tho war
Is open to studeuts of both sexey. Ouly
three Stnte colleges lu the Union, thobe
of Virginia, Georgia anil Louisiana, ex
elude girl studeuts. Practically all the
schools lu the country below the high
school grade are lu the hands or Wom
en teachers and eighty per cent, or the
"""" " ""
teachers in the high schools of New
I EufUuul are of the gentler sex.
;I3KTS
M-ia
'..' -w
RllilInK llown-llltl In n Carpet
Brave old winter brings plenty of fun
For the boys mid girls whose work is
done;
Hut of nil the sport the merriest ono
In sliding down-hill on a r.irpct.
You need but n nquare of carpc' J'ou
know,
Tuck yourself in. and nwny you go,
Over the ice hnd over thu aaovv
Sliding dowu-liill In 11 r.irpet.
So lenve your dolln nnd sleds, ml toys,
And briiiR out your enrpcts, girls nnd boys;
For one of the best of winter' joy
In aliding down-hill in a enrrvet.
Youth's Companion.
The (Irentrft llent Prodticrrt.
The problem of tapping the giant
strength of the sun, of controlling
some portion of the power and heat so
freely given to man, has been passed
from the nnclents to the modern
through the hands or the greatest men ,
of learning of all times without any
ndequate solution until the dawn of J
the twentieth century. The Grecian
Archimedes, the Edison of his day,
was perhaps the first to handle the
question, and to set Is traveling down
the centuries: Ericsson, the American,
and Mouchout, the Frenchman, were
among the last to seek the solution,
and both succeeded In making the sun
operate small motors. Nothing more
wns done, says Pearson's Magazine,
until Dr. William Culver, o Washing
ton, invented the pati-heliumntor. and
can now control a greater degree of
heat than mnn ever operated before.
The fiercest degree of bent that any
one has hitherto been able to make Is
the 0000 degree that has been regis
tercd iu the electric arc. Dr. Cnlver
Is able to generate '2 1,000 degrees of
heat. Of this he is able to control
10.000 degrees with absolute safety,
while he Is nt present nt work con
structing nn apparatus which w.ll
easily give him the mastery over the
full amount of heat that he generates.
Willi his Invention, which, briefly,
consists of an arrangement of mirrors
to reflect the sun's rays upon 11 focus
ing spot. Dr. Culver could burn down
11 rock mountain and reduce It to a
level plain without ns much ns light
ing a match. Ilus-dim iron, or the
kind so uuburiinb'e that it extinguishes
the lire in the llcrccst furnaces, melts
under tho heat at bis eonliol as a wax
match Is melted by tne tlame. Tough
silver coins or stout glass tumblers
become in a moment running liquid
iu Hie heat of Ihe toctisod rays; while
with his apparatus he will perforate n
soaklug-wct plnuk of wood with u
dozen holes lu as many seconds.
nin lr Siiiii'h Midnight l.iitid Unit.
One oT the best bargains ever made
by Uncle Sam was that or the pur
chase ol' Alaska from Russia In 18(17.
The Czar had been inosi friendly to
ward our country during the Civil
War. and when I'ude Snm ortcrcd to
buy his immense possessions iu North
western America he gave the mailer
favorable consideration. Ho had
planted fons and trailing posts lu
many pans of this territory, and had
got to calling It the "uutpust of St.
Petersburg." but he knew that Uncle
Sam was growing Into one of tin fore
most rulers of the cann and he. wished
to keep his good will. Then, loo,
Alaska would be dltlicult to defend lu
war time, and tho Cznr had always
made a point of keeping his domains
Joined closely, annexing only such ter
ritory as lay directly upon his borders,
So, after he hud thought it over, he of
Tered to sell for !?10,000.(HIO. True to
his dickering lustluci. Uncle Sam held
out for So.OOO.OOO. "Split the differ
enee," proposed Hie Czar, "suy seven
aud a half." "Seven millions," In
slsted Uueli) Sam. "Done," decided
the Czar, us llgutly as though it had
been a pair of old shoes. The Russian
Fur Company, however, wanted $i!0O,
000 for lis interest In the Territory and
Piicle Sam agreed to pay it.
Nothing remained but the signing of
the treaty, and this was done at mid
night on March UK, 18U7, at Washing
ton. Uncle Sam's Secretary, Mr. Sew
ard, was playing whist lu his parlor
that night when the Czar's representa
tive, Minister Stoeckl, was ushered lu.
"I have a dispatch, Mr. Seward,
from my Government by cable. Tho
Czar gives bis consent lo the cession.
To-morrow, If you like, we will sign
the treaty."
Mr. Seward laid dovvu his cards.
"Why wnlt until to-morrow, Mr.
Stoeckl? Let us make the treaty to
night." "Hut you have no clerks nnd my
secretaries are scattered about town."
"Never mind thai," replied Mr. Sew
ard. "If you can muster your secrb-
tHl'lltu Imfm-lt mlflllli'lit vnn will fl,il
I " v.w. . ..v ,,., .. ... u
1 me awaiting yon ut the Department of
1 State." . ......
auii so ai uiiiiiugni iigm wns stream
lug fiom the windows of tbo Depart
ment of State, and the place was busy
with writers, secretin lea and engross
ers. At 4 o'clock In the morning the
treaty was llulshcd engrossed, signed,
sealed aud ready for sending to the
President uud the Senate. And the
next day the Senate ratified tho trnns-
iictlon and the immense country of
Alaska, with Its hidden gold, passed
within the limits of the United States
for the price of two warships. Chi
cago Record,
A Nrw .lIurKiiv reixtiirn.
The authorities of Lausanuu proposo
to construct a morgue which will con
tain a new and Interesting feature.
This will be a pluco lu which a largo
hall will be constructed for the usu of
thoso families who have not lu their
houses HUtliclcut room for the conduct
ing of 11 funeral
1
UHB Mu9r mI
THE MICHT Of A MAID.
Hnd I been jester lo the king
At some forgotten court, (
The mark of every' Quqr and fling,
The butt of jcat nnd njxnt,
Metltink each life I'd grown to hate,
A simple clown to be,
And would have roundly coined the ft
That made a Fool of inc.
But kingn nnd cotirtn have pancd annjr,
The jeotcr'n tribe has flown,
I could not, though I wished, to-day
Take his lot for my own;
Yet, I nm. thoutth with kiim'n we've done,
In danger still, you nee
We're ruled by Woman now t here's one
That's made a Fool of met
Roy Fnrrcll Greene, In Puck,
HUMOR OF THE OAY.
Pa "What's baby crying for. TjoI
ly? Dolly "Just 'sos I showed her
how to rat her enke." Tlt-Blts.
"I wonder why the Strutts didn't In
vile us to their dnuchter's "Wedding.
"Maybe they didn't want us'Clil
cngo Record.
If vou would b perfect.
Va Dear sinters nnd brothers,
W- Junt follow the counsel
You ijive unto otheiM
-Catholic SUndntd nnd Times.
Nlmrod "Pat, did you ever catch
frogs?" Pat "Faith, nn 01 did. sir."
Nlmrod "What did you bull with?"
Pnt "Hegorry. Ol bate 'em with a p
shtlck." Chicago News.
"Hlngles Is a lucky man; his time
goes right on whether he Is waking or
sleeping, sick or-well." "What Is Bin
gles's business?" "Wutehmuker."
Columbus (O.) State Journal.
"Cook, do we neetl any necr eat ties
for the kitchen?" "Yes'itt; I'd like a
Roman chair, one of them Venblnin
lanterns, an' some more plllers fer tlv
cozy corner." Indianapolis Journal.
"Now that you've married me. I hope
You'll flirt no more." said Molly.
"I do nsure you, denr, said lie,
"That thii is my Inst folly."
Ohio State Journal T
"I nm willing to do anything," ald
the applicant ror wotk. "All right,"
said the hard-hearted merchant;
"please close the door bchlud you
when you go out." Somervllle Jour
nal. Judson "I got the opinions or tw.
eminent Inwyers on n certain qucHtian
of law the other day." Yeast "Were
their opinions the HuitifV Judson
"Yes; twenty-tlve dollars each." You
kers Statesman.
"You didn't submit quietly to their
gagging did you?" akcd the otlleers
who had hurried to the scene ns soon
as the robbery was over. 'No!'
gasped the victim; "I chewed the rag.
or course, but what good did that
do?" Chicago Tribune.
"She seems to me one or the most
distinguished looking young womeu lu
Boston!" "They tell dreadful stories
about her!" "Indeed?' "Yes, they
any, for Instance. Hint the lenses n' (ht
spectacles are plain gliss. with no
magnifying power whatever." Detroit
Journal.
The ghastly rider on Hie white horse
stopped ut the gate. "1 am Death,"
he Mild to the sick man who was
watching from the window. "You nie
welcome," replied the latter, and
added, Iu a whimper: "If you value
your life, don't let my wife see you
tying your horse to Hint tree. She'd
never let anybody. do that." Philadel
phia Pre.
Alniimd-Kyril Uhlnciir.
It was suggested to me that the ul
uioiul shape of the Chinese eyes might
be a result from babyhood for long
generations of going bareheaded In the
sun, says Leslie's Weekly. Foreign
ers tluil the sun so dangerous tu the
eyes that they are not ouly shaded by
wltle-biinimetl huts, but most frequent
ly by dark glasses. The Chinese wom
en do utit, as a rule, us do tho Japan
ese, put their babies upon the bucks
of Utelr young girls. The vomen,,utid
not Infrequently the men, carry their
children, after, babyhood. In their
arms, even wheu quite large. In fact,
the cam exhibited by fathers for their
children, proudly bearing them lu their
arms on the street from place to pluce,
shows that Mr. Chinaman has good
sense as well as 11 good heart, lie Is
not afraid he will be laughed at for
doing wouiun's work, as somo of our
workluguicn sceui to be In our home
laud, leaving to thu wife nnd mother ,
not only the baby lu arms, but sevcrul
toddlers ut her skirls, while the lordly
master stalks by her side, and wheu lu
his unfettered haste he gets a. few
feet In advance, ho looks back Impa
tiently, saying "Hurry up!"
Fmiihmii KleotrlrlkiiH.
A vote was recently taken by th&
Electrical World and Engineer on the
twenty-tlvu greatest names In electri
cal science during the late century.
Thu participants In the ballot wcra
277 members or the American Institute
or Electrical Engineers, who were re
quested to arrange the uunies In the
order of supposed excellence. The fol
lowing list, therefore, shows not only
tho men who were choseu, but also
their standing lu the esteem of the in
stltuter
Faraday, Kelvin, Edison, Bell,
Morse, Henry, Tesla, Ellhu Thomson.
Maxwell, Ampere, Siemens, Ohm,
Hertz, Davy, Brush, Whcatstone,
Helmholtz, Gramme, Stelnmetz, Roent
gen. Spragiie, Plante, Marcoul, Oer
sted and Joule.
A Chili!' Logic.
Oliver Wendell Holmes used to tell
a story Illustrative of tho keen pe
ceptions or ctiiidreu. He was presei
ut a gathering where ha chanced to be
seatetl near the refreshment table, aud
noticed a little girl looking longingly
ut the table. In his kindly wny he
enld; "Arc you hungry, my chlldr Shu
replied bashfully lu the ulllrinatlvis
"Then why don't you take ti sand-"
wlch?" he asked. The "little maid
responded, "Because I haven't any
fork." The nutocr.it quoted smilingly,
"Fingers wero made before forks," aud
to his Intense amusement she au-
iBWured, "Not my augers!" "
K
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