! 1 r TRIUMPH. I h?ar the vvoild moII while Ik- -lt ioi avvn.v . 1 see men sunk when lie ha tut iiim! to B. Ami own piiy. lint ho doc nut know; lie has mi c.iih to litMi tin' i'iiiik tin) say. And mo goes Im-iMum mi from day to il.ij Anil in hi eye thou ii a h.ippy glow, Denoting mi exulting hcul below. Ami in his Viintiii pliM-nag f.iiu ii.h iili)! A, lot tin-tit latittli. miiio. h.iiii'ci In f.u Tliith they ulio iiiiili'istniiil ,, ii iiilt ! iiru, Ho hurries on with tiiiunili in Ins Ihmii, .For liitt in timniili lint a nl.ul lonccil Tli.it lifts oik- o'i'i ilu i.ililiii- in iK. atn-et, And innkr-t mum iniiiiiinu ioium- it noble p.nt! - S K. Kiser. in Clm i;o Tuiioelleijltl. I A FBIKND IN NEED, I lt Vldi. rln I . ISf iitiin. J 4 T" )V long before the next ljj train leave for Hoston?" I JL 'l'l' burly porter, who (T was addressed, grow quite genial In manner wlii'ii he saw tin pretty fare of tlu young tn1. be side lilin. "Just one hour, mis." he icpllcd. "TIilmi F can take a look at tin oily," mild Marian Fast to hot-self. Tin porter heard, and wan at once ready with his advice "Host Jump Into thai street car. miss. The blue one over yonder. It will take you up on Main street In ten minutes, and Main street holds all the principal stores " Marian Hast tlmuked him with a ohiirinlng smile, and made her way to ho street car, which was on the point of leaving the station as she reached It. The city was not a very law one. l)Ut tlu shops were sulllclently tempt ing to hold Iter a prisoner before them for sonic moment hel'orc she remem bered to glance at a clock. Twenty inlnules of her hour had al ready slipped by. She gave up a se cret little plan that she had formed on her way that evening In the train. She knew only one person In tha city, ami lu was quite Ignorant of her pres ence on this day. During the previous summer she had met Oeorge Klphliistouc In the conn ftry at the house of a mutual friend who was Ids business partner. They had ridden, drove, walked ami talked together for throe long, happy mouths. And when they parled Ccnrgc Klphlu stone had asked for ami obtained her picture, which he had vowed to keep forever, as the most sacred tivusuro of his life. Then lie went away and silence fell between them. No letter came to remind Marian of the friend whom she had allowed to grow too dear. To all appearance she had been only a summer filoud to him. while he oh. how her heart ached as Slu tried to unlearn the lesson which he had been at such pains to teach her lu those happy days among the mountain scenes,! It was all over now! She had learned to forget (Joorge F.lphlnstoiie, she said to herself. And she would not own that her "stop over" in this city -his home had been made only that she might have the sad pleasure of looking niton the walls that sheltered him, and of seeing his name on the office s'gu which he had so often described to her. Himself she did not wish to sec, unless she might catch one glimpse of him from a distance, herself unseen, lu some crowded street. To be obliged to speak to him now to hold his hand a moment, and to look Into his eyes, as a stranger oh, that would be dread full Not for worlds would she have hail It happen so! As these thoughts passed through Marian's mind stie had left the shop windows and had been borne onward by the over-hurrying crowd until the name of a street, painted on a lump post opposite caught her eye end brought her to n pause "Spring Street." It was there that (Jeorge F.lphlnHtone fluid his otlice. There was but the breadth of one street between them. Should she cross It? Further up Spring sticet she could soy the Iron posts and railings of a park or puhllr gat den. Well dressed ladles and children were constantly passing up that way. Most of then' passed by Marian, not without a swift glance of Inquiry at Iter fixed attitude and thoughtful, ab sorbed f.ace. "No, I will not go," she thought, at last. "Oh, my purse! my purse! I've lost It! Where's a policeman V" cried a nervous-looking womau. who had been standing close beside Marian at the crossing, while a procession of cabs and carriages passed down the street. Marian turned to glance at the wom an and then at the clock lu a watch maker's window. It was past the hulMiour-tline for her to return to the railroad station. "One moment, miss," said an Im portant voice, as she stepped from the curbstone. A hand was laid upon Marian's arm. A blue-coated pGfllccmiiii, after listen ing an Instant to the nervous woman, was actually stopping her. "I did not see It done, ami I am lu a hurry to catch a train," she said hastily. "I have no Information to give about It." The policeman grinned. f "I suppose, not, miss. Hut you must coinu Willi mo." "Co with you! Why? Where?" "As if you didn't know, Miss! To t!u Motion-house, of course. This lady is given you In charge, and you mul ko there and he bearched," Marian iiummI pale. "oti are wronging me lurlbty" shv Mild to th- lady, who only tossed In r head scornfully. "Come'" sniii ii,, polleeman "I am Inn. h nil have never onjt Hip purse! I am Just ftom the coun try, ami I am going to Huston i,. Xw a place in a school." -aid Marian, tiy lug to keep bai-k her teals "Indeed, madam, you m- torilbly mistaken." slu added, turning again to the lady, who muled to the policeman an I proml-oil to meet him at the police Hatloti lu ton minutes. " nm a te spootiiblo schiiolte.iehcr My name is Marian Fast, mid I have '" "Marian F.usi." repeated a voice in the crowd, which was gradually col looting outside the gmiip of three. The next moment the nervous ladv ami the policeman weie pushed un (vreinouinuxlj aside, two warm, trlemlly hands took Marian's, ami a haiiiKoine, daikeyed man was Mulling down at her pictectlngly. "Miss Kast! Mow delighted I am to meet you'." nld the genial oico (,f tieorg" Klplila-Uone-the voice thai she had learned to love so well "I liae boon traveling in Kuropc con staidly fur i year past, on business for a client, flint hae been moving si, rapidly that It was quite hopeless for letter to follow me. ami returned only yesterday morning, ami to-morrow 1 was going to our friend (Say hud to ask your address. nd here I meet you like this! Mul Is anything vviongV" The important policeman was look ing strange!. crestfallen, as lie watched this warm greeting to Marian from a gciitl iuuii whom he knew very well. Hut the nervous lady held hr ground, and, lu a few words, repeated to Mr FJphlnstono the charge she had made against Marian. "Absurd tiunscn.-e!" Mild Mi. Klphlu stone, indignantly. "Here, Peterson !' He said a few words to the police man. who seemed to know him very well and respect him highly, and ignor ing the nervous lady's complainl, he handed Mai Ian to a can luge and drove away. Straight to his partner's house tli?y went, and lu the charge of his pari tier's wife Mr. Klphlnstonc left Marian, while lie went with the police man and the nervous lady before th" police magistrate, ami explained the case. Within an hour he returned, bring ing Marian'. unchecked luggage from Hie railroad station with him. "As for thai school lu Boston. I have a word to say," he remarked to Marian, that evening, when Mrs. Ony lord considerately sat, with her hus band, in tin next parlor, well out of the range of the curtained arch. "I haw a better situation for you." "Hut the Hostou place Is a very good olio." said Marian, Innocently. "Hut you will have so many pupils to look after. In the place 1 offer, you will have but one. and he will give you as little trouble as possible. What do you say, Marian? Will yon teach your husband how to be n good and happy man?" Tears rose to her pretly eyes as he drew her head down upon his slioul dor. "Oh. you will never know how iniiol I have cared for you!" she murmured: "and I thought you had forgotten me." "I was only waiting, love, till I had a lit home to offer you." hi said, as he kissed her. And lu her heart Marian secretly blessed tin nervous lady, and the policeman, ami the missing purse -Saturday Night. The III, Hilton. Next to the Zulus the Hasutos are physically and intellectually the tluest tribe in Africa; and, Indeed, the "Pin goes," who are mot with lu large num bers throughout the country, are, I Ik lleve, members of dispersed Zulu tribes who have Intermarried. The UiiHutos mostly wear blankets of di vers colors more, commonly dark red which reach to about the knee, though the younger generation even dispense with this loose garb, and run about In their bronze, chocolate-colored skins. Many of the women have their faces tattooed lu lines from the forehead to the chin and across the face. The Hasutos know a stranger at once, and If one remains long lu the country ho Is frequently addressed by a nickname, such as "Father of tall men," "Father of long beaids," etc., the more common and complimentary title being "Morena" or chief. When one meets a Hasuto the general salute Is "Lumela" (pronounced dumclah, am) meaning "(Sootl-day to you"i. the reply being simply "K." (pronounced like a lu day. and meaning "Cood-day to you also"); or, supposing one wished to say, "l like to travel In company," It would be "Ke rata ho eta ke na lo ba bang." -(iood Words. Jnt Ilr utural, o Sny. The thing most essential of all In llf photography is that the persons photo graphed shall seem um-onsclous of thr presence of the camera. That they should really be so Is seldom possible, except lu a crowd. The hurly-btiiij of a city street offers a fair ohauoo. for (ouccalment to the man with a hand camera, though no matter how cau tious he is the prints all to often show some pair of eyes turned suspiciously on the Instrument. Hut lu the conn try he cannot help being conspicuous and he has to confess his purpose and ask his subjects to pose. This is per haps Just as well, for II Is next to lm possible, with a hasty snap-shot, lo make the surrounding count for all they might lu relation to the figures. One does best when he has chosen with some dellberallon the position for. both his camera and those who aio poblng. Saturday Kvcnlug 1'ost. A HUNDRED YEARS A'W FAMILIAR THINGS UNKNOWN AT LAST CENTURY'S BECINNINC. Thru- Win No Itiiltroiul, Mmtiiliinit, IMit trlc l.liilil, Ti-li-Krnpti.'ti-ti-iihniie, I'hii not;iiili, sowing Miii-liliic. I'lilton lllii, riiiiloi;ii,iti, lllrult- or AllitoKltu-tlc, One bundled ,e.irs ago Thomas -Icf-t'ersou was President of the I'nllod Stales ami Aaron Hiirr was Vhe Pics Idclll. Theie wore sixteen States, Ver mont, Kcutuck.v. and Tennessee lu ad dltlon to Hie original thirteen. The country's population was ,,,:i0S, IS.'t; Virginia had SSOV-'iM people, Pennsyl vania. tMi-Mttr,; Now York, "S!'.o"l; North Carolina, l"tf,l OH. and Massachu setts, IliJ.SI.". The population of New Yoik City was (M),IS!); that or Hrook lyu, not yet lucoipoialcd, was loss than Kmmi Indiana was then the fion tier, with of, J Inhabitants. A man who had seen the turbid flood of the Mississippi was a curiosity The Union of Croat Hrltalu and liolatid was consuinniulod 100 years ago. Ho mtpailc was still First Consul. Wel lington had not become famous, and Nelson was the Hrltlsh hero, with live years lo live before Trafalgar. Scott was yet to write "Wavci-ley." Words worth had Just written some of the "Lyrical Hallads," but was an obscure poet. Coleridge, his lrlond, had com posed the "Ancient .Mariner." but hail no fame Ityroti and Shelley wore ur chins at school, and Keats was In short dresses. It was not until seven years later that Fulton's steamboat was tried, and It was nineteen years before the first steamship crossed the Atlantic. Hohlingcomuitinlcallon with Kurope only by slow sailing vessels, the United Stales were too Isolalod to be concerned about Interference. It was not until IHU.'i thai the Monroe Doctrine was proclaimed. Travel lu I he United Slates a hun dred years ago was by stage coach ami ship, hall boat or row boa!. The largest sailing vessel had a tonnage of 500. and required weeks to make the Atlantic passage. Steamships or 10.000 tons cross to-day lu about live days. Our railroad mileage would now girdle the eailh twenty times. The farmers of I SOI wore Just begin ning to use cast-Iron plows In place of wooden olios, and they know nothing about forllllzors. Many years wen to elapse before the Invent ion of the renper and the self-binding harvester. Iu fact, agriculture was painfully la borious, the forest was slowly cleared with the axe, ami the house built by the settlor was a rude liui of logs, where he lived with no comforts am) did not dicani of luxuries. The news of the world that came to him In his solitude was months ami sometimes years old, but in that respect the dweller of the town was not much bet ter off. 'loday the farmer has a rural mall delivery wh'ch coutiet Is him with the most distant parts of Hie globe, and lie reads a daily paper containing news of Ruropc which Is only a few hours old. Familiar things thai did not exist at the beginning of the nine teenth century best illustrate our de velopment; the railroad train, Hie steamboat, the oleelrlc light, the tele graph, tiie sewing machine, the cot 'on glu, photography, Hie kluetoscope, the bicycle, nnnesthetles, the elevator the list could be extended to the length of a catalogue, for hardly any convenience or utility used lu the house. Hie ollice, Hie wurehotiso and tli- factor., to-day was known to the people who tolled and lived 100 years ago. Oue hundred years ago a man could not take a ride on a steamboat. He tould not go from Washington to Sow Yoik In a few hours. He had never seen an electric light or dtcamed of an electric car. He cftiild uot scud a telegram. He couldn't talk through the tele phone, and he had never heard of the hello girl. He could not ride bicycle. He could not call lu a stenographer and dictate a letter. He had never received a typewritten communication. He had never heard or the germ theory or worried over bacilli and bac teria. He never looked pleasant before a photographer or had his picture taken. He never heard a phonograph utlk or saw a klnotoscoc turn out a prize light. He never saw through a Webster's Unabridged Dictlounry with the aid of a lloenlgon ray. He had never taken a ride in an ele vator. He had never Imagined such a thing as a typesetting machine or a tvpe writer. He laid never used anything but a wooden plow. He had never seen his wife using a sowing machine. He had never struck a match. He couldn't lake an anaesthetic and hae his leg cut off without feeling It. He had never put chased n ten-cent magazine which would have been re garded as a miracle of ail. He could not buy a paper for a cent and learn everything that had Imp pencil the day before all over the world. He had never seen a MeConuack reaper or a self-binding harvester. He had never crossed an Iron bridge Tim Uho of tin, fltiDliliiii, Kvory woman has one cushion that l too nice to use, but Is meant to hide a spot on the sofa. Now York Press. The average number of horses killed ISpanlsh hull lights every year exceeds .",000. whli from 1,000 to 1,1200 bulls mi sacrllicod. - --- - -s. WHY WE HUNCER AND THIRST tlir Moilfin St'iiKttlliin llUVi-ronl I'mni lilt- I'llllllllW fllfttllll't. Scientists Iiiim decided Ihal Hie sen Milieu popularly called "feeling hua grj" or "fhlisfy" aie. hi modern civ ilized communities .something entire ly dltToioni fri n the pi-linltle In stlitct of aulinal life, depending prim ailly on Hie condition of the blood, which Is Indicated lu the dcslio for food. air. and water That the urgoui need or the body foi fond and water ami the occurieiice of these specific sensations are not absolutely lutoide peiiilent. may be deuiou(rtileil by teui piitarlly ioiiiolug the sensation wlin out supplying the craved subtuiio. A piece of sponge inliodllced into Hie stomach will rcuinw tin sensation of hunger for a time as will aNo the simple lightening of Hie belt The pracllce. too. of certain South Ameri can Indians of chewing coca loaws for deadening Hie sense of hunger Is well known , great deal of ordinary drinking I the result of artlllcial rath or Hum real thirst. The true thirst for water depend essentially on the state of flu tissues and blood, of which It forms a very largo part hi actual bulk. The specltie sensation ol thirst. howecr. Is usually due to a loiighuoss or dryness, or congestion of the mucous iiiombir.nos of (he back of the mouth ami throat. This may b produced lu an nrtlllclal degree by a number of local conditions quite inde pendent of the ical needs of the tis sues and. blood. It may come, for In stance, from mouth lucathliig, from excessive smoking, or from eating a large and Indigestible meal. So that ivally the actual sensation or thirst Is not by any means always an Indi cation of the real bodily need fo" fluids. If I well to leiuembor that one should not drink copiously at meals, or Imbibe wry cold water when greatly heated. Firstly, because the subsequent react Ion stimulates hirllier thlrst, and, secondly, because Hie ex cessive coldness may Increase Hie gen eral dryness of the tissues by stimulat ing perspiration. It is recommended that for all conditions of "thioat llilrsi" one should sip warm water stick a pebble, take acid fruit or oat meal wa'cr. lu preference to drinking coploiisl.t. of old fluid. It has Iicmi estimated thai In the tropics, when the thermometer ranges for so great a part of the day al 100 degrees Fahren heit and over, a man requires about a gallon ami a half or water a day. Clilcago ltccord. ('OKI Of ItlllllllllR VurNlilii. Secretary I-ong has submitted lo Congress Information concerning the cost of running nrined vessels, ten ders and warships sent lo the Philip pines, or Irtiiu there since May 1, IS'.)'.'. The famous tilp or the Oregon around Cape Horn from San Francis co lo Key West cost .$I7,0N7, not in cluding the cost of coal consumed, which cost fiO.UOtl. When she wont from New York lo Manila, Oclobtr 12. 1W8, the trip cost .?1ir,,lH. without Hie expense of coal, which cost fXifi'W In addition. Thirteen trips have been made, around Hie Horn by various vessels in the time lu question, Including the Oregon twice. Marietta, Justin, Sterl ing. twice. Iowa, Celtic, Scindla. Hudg or, Marlilehead. Newark and Iris. K elusive of coal cost, these (rips cost the Ciovornmcnl .f(!0.,!l70. Seventeen trip have been made by this class, of ves sels by Hie Suez Canal route, and the canal tolls amounted to .?rU,M.'s. The ships that wont by this route weie: Castlne, Solace. Yosemlte, Olympla. (ilaclor. Nashville, Hiooklyn. Marietta, New Orleans, the Dixie and the Alex ander twice through. The cost of these trips, exclusive of canal tolls and coal consumed, was $5."l,4rll. This Is only slightly more than the cost of thirteen trips around the Horn, and the cost of coal around the latter route would he much greater than by the Suez Cannl. The cost of bringing Admiral Dewey's flagship Olympla from .Manila was t:8,N87 for coal, $111M7 running ex pernios and $:174 Suez Canal tolls, or a total or fl.M,:t;jr. -Washington Cor lespondeuce lu New York Sim. Nornh' Hiibtrru-r. The kitchen maid thrust her head inside the door of the family sitting room and called out: Mrs. Sthrahug, the cockroaches is thick In the panthry an' the chluy closet! What'll I do wld 'em, mem?" "Cockroaches, Norah?" exclaimed Mrs. Strong, much displeased. "How does It Implicit that you have allowed them to become" so numerous?" "They klm here from .Mrs. Pair kliis's. mem, next door," ineiitlonlm the name of a neighbor with whom her mistress was not on very good terms. "Come from Mrs. Peiklns's. did l hey?" said Mrs. Strong, eoiiHlilernhly mollified. "Well, I don't blame them! They'd starve to death in that house:'1 Youth's Companion. Trlml Mori y Vrar Au, Piny speaks lu his natural history, 50 A. D of the good effect of "pouring ol! upon troubled waters." More than eleven centuries ago the veneriUile Hcde tells of a priest sent Into Kelt to fetch King Kd win's daughter, who was to marry King Oswnrru. He vis ited the Itishop to get his blessing, aim was told that the Journey would K stormy, hut that a pot of oil which was given him would still the tempest. When the. storm came the priest used the pot of oil the bishop had given and lo, Hie tempest was stilled. Pro fossor Horsford and Commodore Wilkes are men of modern tlmeB who have Been the same calming effect produced lu violently stormy weather. -SI, Lould 0 lobe-Democrat. SCIENTIFIC AND INDUSTRIAL. A Norwegian scientist, C. A. Mun ler, believes thai by connecting two Islands under water with galvanized Iron plates ami sending electric cur louts thtoiigh them olio might gel $1, 500,000 of gold and llwr out of sea water annually Loudon stiel iciiniifui liners have iv ecntly purchased the Kugllsh iglils to the Helriiud Thiol, open hearth, pro cos The claim I made thai with the new mot hod Installed sfeel can be pro duced al a price to picwut further American competition lu Kurope. It is estimated that pi lies of "mild stool" can bo lowoiod ton per cent. The pi let Ice of oiling loads to keep Hie dust down was begun hi California a few year ago ami is extending to sowral part of Hint State. The ihy season Is so long that Hie Idea ol oh tabling diisllos roads Is naturally at tractive to Callfornlau and the suc cess that ha atlemlcd the use of oil for 'thl.w purposo promises lo cause lis even more general adoption. Tin "oloclranl" is a now device for ntifoinuHeally charging electrical ve hicles which is designed to be located fn public places ami used by autumn blllsls who tlml their butteries es haiisfoil. Connection Is made with one of four plugs, cncli oue furnishing a different amount of current, as may be desired. A olii dropped Into a corre sponding slot stalls the How, which Is maintained until Hie batteries have received the amount paid for, and Is thou slopped. The connection Is sev ered, and as the door of the apparatus Is closed the machine is made ready for the I'cxt call. According to a recent consular re port Carl Under who is giving special attention lo machlms for producing liquid air. describes. In (he Journal of the Association of Herman Kiiglneers, a furnace recently designed for an hi gonlous application of this mihstunci. The ftiruaci Is intended to burn low class luels, such as lignite and peal. The combustion is luteusiiled by turn ing (he gaseous mixture obtained by evaporating liquid air on the lire. Ni trogen Is III st set free, after which there remains a gas containing at least lirty per cent, of oxygen. The price of this gaseous mixture Is said not to exceed eighty cents for a thou sand cubic feet. Acetylene gas, In addition to I'uriH Ishlug brilliant Illumination, can also be used wjlh the blast to, produce lo tense heal if combined with air and oxygen hi the proper proportions. It has been found that a heat sulllclcnt to melt gold could be obi allied when nl-eljiene was used lu'the blust-lami. ajul cxpeiintonts huVo feceiitly botui performed In which 'ygeii was'wub slliulcd for Hie' air, When pure oxygen was used It was found that the flame became exceedingly iuuilimtis and do posited carbon In a compact form much resembling gas carbon, Iqit by mixing the oxygen will) air the giia is completely burned anil the tempera lure produced is siilllclcull.v Intense lo melt platinum. The use of acety lene hi this way does not present any advantage over the ordinary gas con sumed in the blast-lamp, except In cases where the laboratory Is sup plied with such a source of lllumlua Hon Instead of ordinary gas. Tin- I'hik Hull mul llin Hints Doll. Clinging to her mother's skirts at (he Hridge entrance last night a Utile girl about seven years old stood pat Hug a doll dressed lu pink. Another mother stood near with a child who carried a doll dressed In blue. Look lug at the latter the child with the Idnk doll said: "Yon cruel thing, you will kill your dolly holdln' her head down side up," "Your dolly will catch cold." replied the other. "You nln't got no clothes on her arm." Then the mot hers of the children glared at each other and one said: "Sh-Hh-h, Mabel, don't talk to her." Whereupon the mother retorted: "People can tell your brluglng up nt u glance." And the big fat eoJ who stands near the telephone buotli nerv6usly moved away. New York Hun. Nnw Continent Avrnltn llcvrluiuiiput. Hritish Africa Is larger lu uica than the United States, and probably sur passcs the republic In the richness, and variety of Us natural resources, says a South African correspondent. Of the legions that are Intermediate between extreme north and south we at present know little; but that thorn He undevel oped In these vast coal beds, enor mous Iron deposits, boundless timber forests; and the Hurst natural water powers hi the world cannot he ques tioned. In live years' time the trans continental railway projected by Mr. llhodes will begin to tap these stores of accumulated wealth, and the world will witness n process of development of a rapidity and completeness uucx ainplcd lu Its history. King ii Hntwlni; ChmId, The most prolltahlc period at the Paris Fair was the eight days wleai the Shah was there. The Kings of (Jreeco and Helglum did not greatly affect the sale of tickets, but King On car did, although he dressed like any other gentleman. He has so many showy and lino qualities Hint he was the most fetching Kitropeau king in Hie way of sovereignly. The man in Hie street likes something hi the niedl- rvnl or Heiialssanco fooling. Oscar would, If King ot Franco, be a mod ern Francis I., who, despite Victor Hugo, Is Mill popular. -London News. TJIEMWUtYSlDEOFLIFB STORIES THAT ARE TOLD BY THE FUNNY MtN OF THE PRESS. Somellilng t.iu-l liiff Nl So (lic-itl, A Tier Alt .11 In Itri nlti'i'lliiin Inilli-iitliitiN if ii Storm III I U'll'xV (lmrii An t Jne x -lireti'il Itlotr Winn In Din Vinitli, I'.tr, laves of gteat men all iraiinil tw We nio much like flina; but Title 'J he receipt linn not nnHigueil tls II on lo iiiiike folks think ue'io tpcur. 1'iic!;. Not So llri-ul, Aflrr All. "(,'ioal surgical feat, that -putting; a ua lira I drum in a woman's oar." "I think not -women hear loo much as II Is,"- Ohio Slate .loiirnal. 1 1 In ItM'lllllM'tllMIM. "What are your locollectlons of Wen Polnl?" asked the social refoiiner. "Rather hazy," replied tin former cadet, senleiillously. Philadelphia, ltccord. Inilli-nlloiiN ol' it Storm. "Do you believe that a ring around the moon betokens u coming storm?" "Yes, If my wife's temper Is lu a favorable condition for II." Cleveland Plain Dealer. Ills Wir'n down. Alls. Church -"Did yon say your hus band liked those clinging gowns?" Mrs. tSothiiin "Yes; he likes one to cling to me lor about four seasons." Yon 1( cis Statesman. An llnnxiiri'liMt Itlnw. First Tramp "Wot wuz It do lady done to yer dat has so unmanned ycr?" Second Tramp "She offered mo a. sponge cake, panlucr tlilnk of It, -i sponge cake."-Hrook lyu Life. AVI mi In IIIh Youth. Teacher "And what prevents your striking a hoy smaller than yourself?" Pupll-'Tlty!" Teacher-"And a hoy larger?" Pupil "Prudence!" Chicago News. Weiirlniiiiir. "Waggs doesn't seem to be popular." "No; he's the kind of man who -il- ways wr.nts to talk to you on tlu street car at night when you're going; homo too tired to lalk.J' Chicago Hoc- ord. riiD cttv r oiiiiniH. fioopli "A Chicago scientist clalp'.i thai there are 10,000,0'JO microbes li Wooph "Oh, those Chicago census figures make me weary." HallUnoiu American. Tim Olio Wlut Wiinleit Mint. Father "What does that yoiinr popinjay hang around here for when he knows I don't want him lo?" Daughter "Hecauso, pap, he Ukes'to he with the person who does want hint to." Detroit Free Press. ltemly !lllr. "I," said the cetithnllllonalro, "deem It a disgrace to die rich." Whereat the legal profession was visibly per turbed. "How can we break your will In your lifetime?" they demanded. Judge. I.ono Nothing. "Have you heard the story of the empty box?" queried the Simple Mug. "No," replied the Wise (Juy. ex pectantly. "It's Just as well," said the Slmph; ' Mug. "There's nothing In It," Phila delphia ltccord. .runt VVIoit Ilnpirii-il. lllauche "Oh, girl! I put a piece of May's wedding cuke under my pil low last night, and " The Olrls (lireatliIrssly)-"What hap pened?" Hlanche "I ate It all hefote I went lo sleep." Hrooklyn Life. OllniriTlM) Ulscrrotly Nllnnl. Mo.llggor "Uragg tells me ho got mixed up In a scrap last night." Thingumbob "Did he get the Iksc of It?" Mc.Ilgger "Ol course. If he hadn't he wouldn't have said anything about iI."-PhlladelphIa Press. Unirnllicit. IJarnestorni "Yes; poor Hunter Ium gone crazy as a loon. The pari he had to play was too much for him." Huskln "What was he playing -.loltyll and Hyde?" Harnestorm "No; 'Monte Crlsto,' tit $12 per week and six weeks' subtly due," Philadelphia Press. Caution ImlUpoiiiinlilr. "A man must be very careful if "o, desires to retain the confidence of tits constituents." "He must," answered Senator Sorg hum. "In fact, there's only oue way (o accomplish It, ami that Is never lo let them catch you when you are roll ing them." Washington Star. A ItMimi Kiilile llclns. "Do you know that man over yon der? He has Jusl had greatness thrust upon him." -, "How so?" "Why, he's the only public man !n the country who when naked to tell whnt would happen In the new cen tury said he didn't know." Cleveland Plain Dealer. I'roio ii Moitcrit MoUiit'h Illiiry. Clifford was extremely naughty to day. I have offered him fifty cents to Hulinilt to being whipped, ami ho bi..-i taueti the mutter under advisement. 1 am determined to whip him, If r. have to pay him l.'-Ti, I feel I am quite right In paying my boy for bclns whipped. It teaches him the value of uioneyi Detroit Journal. 4 ! (f f !! ii v ...l.'L'rtl rfrYinjn wWMlU.1.. - woin- rvf " tKi;sryii:ii5 8fi2fcswoww .a-awana.'-" Mmi -Jk