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About The Red Cloud chief. (Red Cloud, Webster Co., Neb.) 1873-1923 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 17, 1899)
HOPS flBJl II FEAR
Capture of San Fabian a Spec
THE RAVY AND ARMY COOPERATE
Troop riango Wnlit Deep Into the 'Wit
ter Whllo Under I'lre Iniiurgeiitt
Flee on Approach Aculnnldo
TreparliiE to Fly the Coop.
A Manila dispatch of November 10,
ri:03 p. m., says that the landing of the
American troops at San Fabian was
the most spectacular of Its kind blnce
General Shnfter'u disembarkation at
Daiquiri. The 'co-operation of the
troops and the navy was complete. The
gunboats maintained a tcrrillc bom
bardment for an hour, while the troops
rushed waist deep through the surf
under a heavy but badly aimed rille
lire from the insurgent trenches and
charged right and left, pouring volley
nftcr volley at the ilcclng rebels. Forty
Filipinos were captured, mostly non
commissioned olllccrs. Seven Insur
gent dead and five wounded were
found In a building, which had buf
fered considerably from the bombard
ment. The town was well fortified.
The Band dunes were riveted with
bamboo twenty feet thick, which of
fered a good cover.
On landing, the battalions formed In'
good order. Captain lluclc, with
Price's and Pattern's companies, pur
sued the Insurgents on the left Into
tho bamboo thickets. On the right
was a frail footbridge across the river,
leading to the towns. General When
ton, personally commanding, ordered a
charge across the bridge, and Captain
Howland of his staff, led Coleman's
and Ellott's companies of tho Thir
teenth uud Shield's company of the
Twenty-third, who behaved bplcndldly
under their first fire, into the town,
which was found to be nearly desert
ed except by the nged and some Span
iards who had hidden In the buffalo
wallows, and who came shouting de
toward the Americans.
The troops camped In the 'rain dur
ing the night and in the morning Gen
eral Whenton established his head
quarters In a chuuh, and quartered
Ids men In the houses
FREE STATERS GET CREDIT
Bald to Ilaie Decimated nn Kutlro llrlt
A London speelal of November 10th
says: Another rumor cmanatlngfrom
Amsterdam sources, says: A British
regiment was decimated Friday by
It is added that COO of the British
soldiers were killed or wounded and
that 300 horses were captured.
Another one dated Saturday morning
4:30 n. m , says: "Complete silence
has again fallen upon afTalrs In South
Africa. Tho British public must per
force be content with the brief stereo
typed report which tho censor allows
to filter through from Capetown. That
this condition of things Is no longer
duo to pressure of work or defective
cables has been amply proved. Tho
Eastern Telegraph company reckons
that tho real delay in transmission is
about two days. It Is evident, there
fore, that censorship is responsible for
tho other two days of delay, which
Eccms to befall the dispatches.
Moreover, the Dally Telegraph an
nounces that its "appropriated" dis
patch from Ladystnith, dated Monday,
which tho war oflicqrs published on
Tuesday, was not delivered in Fleet
street until yesterday (Friday) morn
ing. It is believed that the war office
received further dispatches last even
ing, but nothing has been published.
HE REFUSES TO SURRENDER
Adherent of Andrade Dcllci the New
A Puerto Cabcllo, Venezuela, Novem
ber 10 dispatch says: General Parades
absolutely refuses any proposal to sur
render, A conference was held today
between tho llrltlsh, German, Dutch,
and American captains here, and as a
result W. W. Kussell, secretary of the
United States legation, was sent to dis
cuss tho matter with General Parades,
and to try to effect an arrangement.
He proved to bo defiant and intimated
to Mr. Kussell that he was ready to
fight any forco General Castro would
Fend ngainst him.
A La Guayra, Venezuela, November
10 dispatch says: Francis II. Loomls,
United States minister to Vcnenela,
has asked the commanders of the for
eign cruisers off Puerto Cabello to act
together in order to prevent Gen. An
tonio Parades, formerly a commander
in ex-President Andrado's army, who
rof uses to recognize tho authority of
General Ciprlano Castro, from bom
barding Puerto Cabello, by bringing
moral pressure to bear upon him. Tho
llrltlsh, French, German, Dutch, and
American commanders will confer at
Puerto Cabello and will take all proper
measures to prevent Parages from sac
rificing the lives of innocent persons.
The United States legation will pro
tect the French sisters of charity by
Andrade I President.
A Ponce, P. It., November 8, speelal
rays: Geueral Andrade, deposed presi
dent of Venezuela, who has arrived at
Sin Juan, is quoted as having said In
an interview that ho was still presi
dent of Venezuela and that ha would
soon return to that country.
Rhodes' l'lin Advanced.
Tho llerlin correspondent of the
London Pall Mall bays ho has learned
that the Samoan agreement contains
necrct clauses relating to South Africa,
whereby tho plans of Cecil Rhodes nre
advanced a step toward realization.
THE Nt-WS IS KEPT BACK
rovlon lYnrn Unit (Icucriit Sir ItciHcrs
Duller In Htipiirrmiliif; tlio Truth.
A London special dated November
10, 4:30 a. m., bays that the sent and
conflicting news from the seat of war,
and the fact that General White lias
not yet said a word u'jont the alleged
fighting around l.adysmlth, tiro again
producing a feeling of gloom. It may
bo that General. Duller has thought
best to keep It to himself. Indeed,
this Is the version that Is beginning to
be believed, as It Is held to bo impossi
ble that the news of heavy fighting
brought in by Kuftlrs in such circum
stantial detail can bo wholly ground
less. If this be so, It Is ominous, for
there could be no grounds for conceal
ing favorable news.
It cannot bo long, however, before a
change occurs. General ltuller's forces
will soon arrive ut Durban, and will
probably begin the advance to tho le
lief of Ijadysmlth about next Tuesday.
An Orange Ulver, Capo Colony dis
patch says that the Doers arc Investing
Klmberley and have been reinforced
by L',000 men an I have htieeeeded In
corrnllng about 5,000 pounds worth of
stock belonging to Klmberley merch
ants which was Intended for the suste
nance of the town.
KNOW WHERE AGGIE IS AT
War Department Definitely I.ocutcs In
surgent Chief nt llonmbting.
The war department has definitely
located Agulnuldo as on his way to
the town of lloambang, about seventy-five
miles northeast of Tnrlae. The
recent calculations have been that the
Insurgent leader was at tho town of
Ilayambang, not far from Tarlae, In
which case the bevcral forces under
Generals MaoArthur, I.awton, Young
and Whenton would have hnd him
practically surrounded. There has
been some doubt, however, ns to tho
name Ilayambang. and this has bec,n
cleared up by the definite information
that fixing lloambang as the pluco of
HIS BODY CUT TO PIECES
Kclatlve or Mri. Cleveland Killed by
Cur nt Tekuiiuih.
Arthur Bryant, the seventeen-year-old
son of E. W. Ilryant, was killed at
Tekamah by the cars, He got on the
St. Paul limited train which arrives
at 7:15 p. in., and attempted to get off
the train after it had moved one block
from the depot. Ills body was cut to
pieces, tho head being severed from
the body and pieces of the remains be
ing carried six or seven miles from the
scene of the accident. The father of
the young man Is a well to do merch
ant of Tekamah, and his mother was a
cousin of Mrs. t! rover Cleveland.
BUTCHER BECKER HANGED
Protests IIli Innocence and Accuses Ills
Albert August Decker, the Chicago
German butohcivwho, on January D7
last, murdered his wife, llaehel, and
afterwards chopped up and boiled tho
remains In order to dispose of them,
was hanged In the Cook county jail at
12:05 Friday afternoon. Decker's neck
was not broken by the fall, und it was
sixteen minutes before he was pro
nounced dead. On the scaffold Decker
protested his Innocence and declared
George Sutterlin, the father of his sec
ond wife, was the real murderer.
Still Doubt 111 Kentucky.
The uncertainty regarding the result
of Kentucky's election is not likely to
be removed for some time, lloth sides
still claim victory, the state chairman
of each party assorting fiat his ticket
hab a plurality of about 1,000. News
paper returns fioii Republican sources
give Taylor a plurality of 4,438, while
those from democratic bources make
Goebcl's plurality 041.
Unveil Duv.'a Tuhletii.
Tho tablet! in St. Paul's church to
Mihs Winnie Davis and the Davis sons
were unveiled at Richmond with 1m
prcsslvo ceremonies. Tho monument
to Winnie Davis, erected In Holywood
cemetcrj' by the Daughters of the Con
federacy, and the monument to Mr.
Davis and Jefferson Davis jr., will be
bo unveiled today, Saturday.
Would Open Itesertntlons.
A bill to throw open for settlement
nil the abandoned military reserva
tions in tho Country will bo presented
at the coming session of congress. It
will be fathered by Senator Clarke of
TERSE TELEGRAPHIC TICKS
The price of steel bars has advanced
85 per ton.
Tho Prince of Wales was 58 years of
age Novombcr 0.
Almost the entire business portion
of Columbia, Lc, was consumed by
A through freight on tho Union Pa
cific crashed into the caboose of a local
freight twrrmllcs east of Abilene, Kan.
D. A. Hunnowcll of Seneca was hurt
i Uernally nnd may die. C. A. lllatr
of Solomon had his leg broken. Doth
were passengers on tho local.
Admiral Schley will aseuino com
mand of the South Atlantic squadron
Just for a joke, two fellow workmen
of John Slilnder at Chicago, hound him
with rt tar rope and set it afire, expect
ing it to burn slowly and give him a
scare. His clothing caught aud ho
was probably fatally burned.
A Michigan Central passenger train
from Toledo, O., to Detroit, was
ditched by train wreckers between
Alexis and Vienna, Mich. Three peo
ple were fatally hurt nnd many were
more or loss bsrlously Injured.
(JOLONEL BELL TAKES
Aguinaldo's Army Disappears
Entirely From Sight.
AMERICAN OFfKER REPORTED KILLED
Tho I'.inct Whereabouts of (leucrnl
Younc Not UnniTii Hut lie Do-
llccd to he l'tmlilnc I'orwnrd
Ton nrd the Town of Turlnc.
A Manila, Nov. 13 special says Colo
nel Hell's regiment and a small forco
of cavalry entered Tarlae hist night
Where Agulnaldo with his army and
the so-called government have lied, Is
a mysteiy. -
A Manila, Nov. 12, 10 a m. dispatch
says: Generals McArthur and I.awton
are closing in on Tnrlae. Communica
tion with distant points Is impossible
except by means of the government
wire, which is crowded with olllelal
General , McArthur took Ilamban
yesterday.' This Is supposed to bo tho
htrongest position held by the Fili
pinos, except Tarlae. Tho brief ac
counts of the engagement received In
dicate that tho rebels fought accord
ing to their tactics, reticating after
firing a few volleys. One officer of the
Thirty-sixth regiment is tho only
American reported killed.
General MocArthur began his ad
vance at daylight, Colonel Smith, with
the Seventeenth regiment on the right,
Major Hell's command and the Thirty
blxth on the left, and the Ninth In tho
ccuter. Colonel Smith encountered a
small forco at 0 o'clock, easily dispers
ing the rebels. Major Hell secured a
position on the mountain, from which
he poured nn enfilading firo from
rifles and Hotchkiss guns upon the
first line of the enemy's trencher. The
Filipinos stood the firo for twenty
minutes nnd then retreated to tho
mountains. General MaoArthur en-
iwiu iiiiiiiuiiiuii iu ocioeic anil (Jen
cral Smith occupied Capns, tho first
town beyond, l.awion's headquarters
Is still at Cnbantuan. General Young,
with his cavalry und infantry, is still
pushing ahead through the fearful
mud, but his exact whereabouts are
GEN PAREDES OVERTHROWN
ruerto Cubcllo, Venezuela, 'Left In Itulus
by Crnrrnl Cmlro.
A Puerto Cabello, Venezuela special
of Nov. lath says Gen. Pnredes, n for
mer commander In the nrmy of ex-President
Andrada, who has refused tho
demand made upon hlin by General
Ciprlano Castro and the defneto au
thorities to burrender the town, even
when this was reinforced by the re
quest of the llrltlsh, American, French
German and Dutch commanders, sur
rendered this morning at 10 o'clock
after a terrible battle.
The aspect of the city Is one of ruin
and devastation nnd it is estimated
that upwards of 030 persons were
killed or wounded during the fighting.
Dr. Drulsted of tho United States
cruiser Detroit, and the surgeons of
the various warships in tho harbor,
are ministering to the wants of the
General Ramon Guerra began a lang
attack upon the town and position of
General Parcdes on Friday night.
Desultory firing continued until Sat
urday morning about 4, nnd then a
fierce struggle ensued. General Parc
des made a stubborn defense, but
Gcncml Guerra forced nn entrance
into the town at 5 o'clock yesterday.
As early as 8 o'clock Sunday morning
the fleet arrived and began a bombard
ment, but the range was too great and
the firing proved ineffective.
General Parcdes held the fort on the
hill nnd Fort Libcrtndor until thin
Shot Through the Heart.
At St. Louis John Armstrong, son of
ex-Pollco Sergeant Joseph Armstrong,
n check clerk nt Cupplo's .station, was
found dead in the dining room of his
home. The man's wound showed that
he had been shot through the henrt
from the rear. Mrs. Roso Louvler, a
comely thirty-yenr-old womnn who
hnd been cooking meals nnd taking
care of the rooms occupied by Arm
strong, was arrested by the police, who
also took into custody her husband.
Contest la Certain,
Tho second week of uncertainty re
garding tho result of the balloting for
governor in Kentucky begins with lit
tle prospect of Immediate relief, The
official count bus been in progress two
days and official returns from a largo
majority of the lit) counties have nar
rowed the contest down to n noso fin
ish. Each side claims the election of
its ticket, but the estlmntcd plurality
of cither does not exceed 3,00J.
Returns on the voto for district
Judges in Nebraska are not yet com
pletc. In tho Ninth district, with
Knox county still missing, Judge W.
V. Allen has a majority of 815, and
Many l.'erson Injured.
A Dcnlbon, Iowa November 11 bpe
clal bays: Twenty-six men wcro in
jured in a wreck on tho Fort Dodgo
and Omnlm railroad, nine miles north
of Denlson. todny. A gravel train,
running extru, und work train con
taining 180 men, came together around
a sharp curve at a deep cut In tho road.
The Bhamrocb raiding Over,
Sir TIiomuB Upton's steam yacht
Erin, which left New York November
2, has passed the Azores, towing the
PAPER FAMINE THREATENED
.Mill t'imbin to Work lull Time On
Account or Scarcity of Water.
The paper problem Is getting lo be a
very serious one, and the trouble Is be
coming neute. In a recent Issue tho
New York Commercial, speaking of the
Never have paper manufacturers
been so short of water as now, and It
Is currently reported that unless rains
come soon In the eastern part of the
country there will be a famine In pa
per of all descriptions. Jobbers are
beginning to feel the effect of the
prospective famine, and are trying lo
prevent their eustonlers from putting
In further orders. So serious has the
matter become that all prices on paper
nre withdrawn nnd bills are stamped
that all pi lees are subject to change
Tho worst situation Is In New I'.ng
laud, where the mills have so little
water that they are closed down part
of the time, and unless rain falls soon
they 111 have to close enthely. Holy
oko is especially alllleted. Tho Con
necticut rher hasn't been so low in
years, and rain comes on In fitful show
ers, which amount to nothing. The
same general statement applies to the
entire Connecticut Valley. None of
the mills on the river, of which there
are a large number, have water enough
to keep them running full time.
Maine has not felt the drought so se
verely, but the water Is low In all man
ufacturing centers, and unless copious
rains boon fall some mills will make
but very little paper this winter.
New York state manufacturers have
been more favored than most of the
others, nnd a larger proportion of the
mills ate enabled to run full time.
They are far behind In their orders,
however, and the situation promises no
In tho west, especially Wisconsin,
water Is low and the output of the
mills Is seriously curtailed, and the
prospect nppcnrs discouraging. Some,
manufacturers say that they will bo
compelled to stop work entirely if they
do not have rain.
Tho shortage In paper could not have
come at a more inopportune time. The
demand for news was never so large as
now, uud is steadily increasing, It has
been u grent news year, and the dallies
have been turning out larger editions
than ever befoie, and there seems to
be no prospect of a diminution in de
mand. For book purposes there Ik on
equally strong demand, occasioned by
the increased output of books. Prices
on both book and newspaper are
10 to 'M per cent higher than they
were three months ago, nnd quota
lions are not guaranteed for the day
they arc given out.
The prospect of a famine becomes
the more serious when it Is known that
jobbers were never to busy as they uro
now. They are away behind In their
deliveries, and more than one large
jobber will not go nenr his office. Oth
ers will not answer tho telephone for
fenr Lome buyer is going to put in a
vigorous kick about delay in filling
Even the International Pnper Com
pany Is ernmped hi Its deliveries, und
is said to be refusing all foreign orders,
until it Is certain that It can take care
of its own customer's.
BOERS BOMBARD KIMBERLY
No Loss Ileported, but IiiTestmrnt li
Tightening: HtlrrliiR news Hoon
London advices are to to the effect
that there is no great news from the
front, and little change haj taken
place either In Natal or in the north
and northeastern frontiers of Cape
Colony. The chief fact is the opening
of the bombardment of Klmlicrly by
Free State artillery, which proved In
effective. The Doer Investment of tlte
town Is tightening, and ninny skir
mishes are reported. Advices from
Orange river comfirm the report of tho
Free Stnto troops' advance on tho
north of Capo Colony, but owing to
the retirement of tho llrltisli forces
from the borderland no serious collis
ion has yet occurred,
The coming week is certain to bf
full of stirring news.
I.oiei nn Hye.
W. U. Sickle, a Lincoln boiler maker
in the employ of the Ilurlington, has
lost his right eyo as the result of an ac
cident ut the round house. A small
plo3c of iron fiew in his eye, nnd ho
was taken to an oculist to have the in
jured member attended to. It wns
afterwards found necessary to remove
Celehrnto doldon Wedding.
At Fremont Thursday evening of last
week, Mr. and Mrs. Joslah Lydlek cel
ebrated their golden wedding anniver
sary, a family reunion nnd a gathering
of neighbors marking the happy event.
There nre hIx children, sixteen grand
children and two great grandchildren
most all of whom were present.
Cnu't Kara tho Hooker.
The war department has received n
dispatch from Gencrnl Otis stating
that hope of saving tho transport
Hooker had been abandoned. Ilcr
supplies will be taken off and the hulk
will be sold ut auction nt Manila. Thr
vessel was worth about 8160,000.
Shooting ut Oinuha.
At Omaha Sunday Robert Fibber,
colored, shot Joseph McDcrmott. They
played cards In Fred Stacker's saloon,
3812 North Thirtieth street, nnd quar
reled later. McDcrmott was taken
home, tho wound in his groin dressed
and he may recover. Fisher escaped.
I.lies May He Spared.
The four soldiers who were sen
tenced to death nt Munllu some time
time ago, now stand nn excellent show
to save their lives an account of Irregu
larity in the court martial proceedings.
FIRECAUSESGREATDAMAGElOUR BUDGET OF FUN
llnrinrd Visited by Tire nt uu Itarly
Hour Siindiiy Morning.
Flic gutted the fuintttire Mid gro
cery store of S. R. Jones and tho drug
store aud living rooms of II. C. Stokes
nt Hnrvnid Sunday morning. It win
dlscoTcred at about 3:30 o'clock, nnd
appeared to have originated In the east
or buck end of the furniture store, a
one-story building, though the upper
story of tho adjoining block of two
stores M'Oincd to be on lire. The de
partment and citizens responded quick
ly to the ahum, and heroic woik wns
done. The construction of the build
ings all having tin roofs made the
lire the hardest aud most stubborn to
fight that has ever been experienced,
and It was 7 o'clock bcfoio tho blaze
was put out. Thu damage Is estimated
to be about 33,000.
SHE DIES FROM HER WOUND
Yimnc l.ndy or 11) minis Arcldeutully
Hliuots llemrir While hunting.
While out hunting a day or so ago,
Josle, second daughter of County Com
missioner Ktuckey, of Hyanuls, acci
dentally shot herself with a target
pistol, from the effects of which she
died. Tho accident happened at M, R.
Stuekey's ranch, fifteen miles west of
ilynuuts. It seems that Josle, with
another slNter, went out to kill prairie
dogs, and was endeavoring to load the
gun by driving the cartridge into the
chamber with the muzzle of the pistol
against her, when It exploded, wound
ing her in tho abodomen. She walked
about half a mile home after being
shot. Josle wns about fifteen years of
lUopliiK Couple ('might.
At Sutton Monday evening u closed
carriage drove up to the Oakland hotel
nnd a man nnd woman stepped out and
Into the hotel. The gentleman at once
bogan to make arrangements for stop
ping a week. The gentleman was I,.
R. Scott, traveling for a picture con
cern. Shortly afterward a telegram
came to the chief of police to arrest
and hold the parties. It developed that
the young lady had been Induced, ow
ing to her age of but fifteen, to elope
where she was promised a job with tho
picture linn. The. parents came hero
about 10 o'clock and took the daughter
Hoy I)nccml by n Horse.
Paul Roen, the ten-year-old son of
Cashier O. T. Roen of tho First Nation
al bank of Columbus, was seriously
injured while riding horseback. The
animal gave a sudden start sideways,
displacing him from the saddle. Ills
foot hung In the stirrup and he was
drugged headlong by the running
horse. He finally became free of the
stirrup aud was picked up In nn un
conscious condition. Ho was badly
cut about the hend, but is slowly re
covering. llrokci III Ankle.
At Hastings II. II. Cherry fell while
going along Second street and broke
the bones of his ankle. He started to
turn the corner at Denver avenue and
stepped ou tho edgo of tho crossing
plate. His foot gavo way under him
and the fall twisted his ankle. As Mr.
Cherry only recently recovered from a
dislocated hip, the injury Is doubly un
fortunate. Full City Willed n Library.
Mayor Clcgg of Falls City Iiiih re
ceived letter from tho son of tho late
Lydla A. II. Woods, stating that bin
mother's will had just been opened In
the probate court of Denver and that
Falls City was given 810,000 for a pub
lic library on tho same terms as her
gift to Humboldt some years ago. Tho
city will doubtless be glad to accept
The rint Accident.
The first accident due to football
playing in Fremont occurred Monday
afternoon. In tho gntno between
school boys on tho west school grounds
Fred Kuchl got his right leg broken
above tho knee. The leg wus set and
the boy Is doing fairly well at present.
All the boys In both teams seemed to
have piled on the Injured lad at an un
HU Ilnrio Fell.
At Adams, Will Aunoblo's horse
stumbled and fell with him In front of
tho postolllec. Anuoble sustained a
broken leg. The fracture is just above
the ankle. He is resting as comforta
ble us could bo expected.
I.nrnrd Will Itecover.
A Hastings telegram says: There Is
no longer any doubt that Mr. F. O,
Lamed will recover from the Injuries
he received by jumping through a
:oaeh window of a west-bound llyer
when It was going fifty miles an hour.
Tho president has appointed First
Lieutenant Thomas II. Slavcns, Fourth
cavalry, a captntn und assistant quar
termaster, vice Captain Howard, re
cently killed in tho Philippines.
tilvvn H I'cidIoii.
A pension of 81.1 per month hns been
granted byCommlssloner Evnns to the
mother of Lieut. Worth Hngley, who
was killed In the war with Spain.
llroke a Leg-,
II. J. Winn, a traveling man from
Topeka, Kan., going to Nebraska City
on the .Missouri Pacific train from Falls
City, jumped from his beat quickly
when he reached Nebraska City aud in
iome manner alighted so as to break
his right leg just above tho knee. Ho
was taken to the Watson houbo and
Toxn Mint Named far Consul.
Tho president has appointed JessoU,
Johnson of Texas to be consul of tho
United States at Coatieook, Qucbcck,
SOME GOOD JOKES ORIGINAL
1 Variety or !n!', Ulliet nnd Irnnti,
Orlulnnl nnd Hplcctcd I'lolnniii nod
JcUntu fr nn tho Tldo of Humor
The Minstrel und the Mutd.
lie stood before tho window j hla
brenst wiih full of love,
And thin Is what ho warbled to tho
maid who slept above:
"Ah, nitiRt I ray goodby, goodby?
Ib this to bo the end
I'o meet In future niul to greet
Each other but aa 'frlcnil7'
"Ah, must 1 sny goodby, goodby?
And muRt 1 luisto away,
Nor come again to claim your heart
Your heart and hand tnnio day?
"Ah, must I nay gondby, goodby?
And must I leave you here,
And wander far from you who nro
So dear, sweetheart, so dear?
"Ah, must I sny goodby, goodby,
Kre you huvo learned to know
The secret that I long to tell,
Dear heart, before 1 go?"
Ho fell below her window ho sans
no more of love
Rorao bruto had hurled n pitcher
down from the lint nbove.
B. E. Klser In Chicago Tlincs-Hcruhl.
Tho Only Hlf nlUioucis
Percy I dreamt Inst night that you
and I wcro marricdl What la that u
Ethel Why, that Is a sign you wcro
Sam SpnrkB llruuuer, doan' yo' ad
vise chery member to walk In dor nar
Druddor Sassafras Coaso Ah do,
boy; what ob it?
Sam Sparks Nuftln', bruddcr; only
Ah wonders what Is gwluo to happon
when somo oh our stout meinbnhs
meet on do narrcr pnf com In' from op
A Cruol Joke.
Sandy Pikes Hilly, do wickedness
of dls world Is appailn'.
Hilly Coalgato What's do matter,
Sandy Pikes Why, I went over an
asked dat Indy fcr a quarter to got mo
Billy Coalgato What did sho say7
Sandy Pikes Asked me if I'd havo
it trimmed wld ribbon or loco,
None from lllm.
"My friend," sold tho caller, "on be
half of our society I am soliciting 23
ccnt subscriptions to cnablo - ua to
wago war on tho cigarette evil, and I
felt sure wo could rely on you In tho
battlo to tho death."
"Ycb, I'll glvo no quarter," replied
tho huslnoEB man, promptly. "Good
day, air." Philadelphia- Record.
"Ynu can't Imaglno how shocked I
was to discover that my caddie smok
ed cigarettes! "
"Tho little rascal!"
"Yes, tho Scotch almost Invariably
smoke a pipe, you know." Dotrolt
From Judgo: Mrs. Hoon How did
tlio defaulting cashier of tho Petty
ville bank look?
Hoon I never saw him, but ho In
described ns being G feet tall and
May Isn't It a perfect duck cf a
Clara Yes; It never sccma to got
A Queitlonnble Height.
Llttlo Ell-How tall Is, I, ma?
Mother About four feet.
Llttlo Ell Yo feet, er mine?
I.ovo nud Thrfi;'.
From, tho Chicago Tribune: "I
havo como, Rachel," ho said, tenderly,
"to ask you fpr this llttlo hand. Not
that one this one."
And ho reached for tho one that
had tho rings on It.
llrenhlnir It (lenity.
He Let's got engaged) f
She Very well, but who will you get
engaged to? New York World.
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