Er r. fm. wA man vn nmMmXSE Jl. !. WA-k wer-wwsBS V. THE EED CLOUD CIHEF. IX THE FALL OF MANILA DEWEY AND MERR1TT TOOK IT BY JOINT ATTACK. Manila Trnprr .Suffered I.lttln From tlio Attack Tlir Kiiriny ItnftiKrd to Arerpt tlio Oljniila'(t Advlro to Surrender Two Houm riKlitliiR rulluncil. TIo.vo Koxo, Aug. 17. Tlio report ol the capitulation of Manila Is continued by tlio Herman consul from Manila, who 1ms lande 1 here from tlio Gorman cruiser, Knlscrln 'Augusta. At 10 o'clock Saturday morning Hear Ad miral Dewey advanced with his war nhlps on the city, having previously received a refusal of his demand for the surrender of Manila. Tlio flag ship Olympla signaled the city again, demanding the surrender. The Span lards still refused to capitulate and tho Olympla commenced the bombard ment of tlio forts with her 8-Inch shells. Instantaneously with the bombard ment of tlio forts tho American land forces ud vnnced upon tho elty. The battle lasted two hours, when a white flag was hoisted over the forts, which bail been nearly dentroyed. Oenerul Augustl and his family were GEN. DASILIO AUOUSTL taken on board tho German cruiser at dusk and tho Kaiser in Augusta steamed off immediately for Hong Kong, driving seventeen and one-half knots. It Is expected that Rear Admiral Dewey will send n fast cruiser here with the news. The Herman cruiser brought no mail. ltKitLi.v, Aug. 17. -General August!, according to a dispatch from Hong Kong, was dismissed from his post as captain general of the Philippines on August .. At tho same time General .lademes was ordered to tako the com mand over Manila. The dlr.patch say9 In part: "The Americans notified the authorities at Manila that a bombardment by son and land would commence at noon on August 0. The city surrendered upon tho 13th (Saturday) and tho American flag was hoiHtcd forthwith. "Tho Spanish officers wero allowed their freedom on parole. Tho judiciary and tho administrative olllces are to remain temporarily in the hands of the Spaniards. The insurgents remain outside of tho town." Although tho dispatch implies that tho bombardment was to begin Tues day, it is thought here that the Amer ican forces postponed tho attack, not opening tiro until Saturday. Lo.Nno.v, Aug. 17. A dispatch from Madrid bays: Tho surrender of Ma nila on Saturday by General .la deniet isofllclally announced. "The United States troops immediately occupied tho city" according to tho oflicial btute ment. ' KEY WEST MINES BLOWN UP. CnpUIn MoKlnilej- Touched the Itutton and the IJttle Iiland Shook. Kev West, Fla., Au,?. 37. Tho sub niarlnb' mines In Key West liarbor were blown up yesterday afternoon to make room for the fleet, which are crowding in from their Cuban coast stations. There were more than a dozen sets of mines of four each cov cring over a square mile of water. They wero exploded by wire from Fort Taylor under tho direction of Captain McKlnsley, who is in charge of tho harbor defenses. The work made a magnificent spcctaclo. Explo sions followed each other at Intervals of about two minutes, each carrying mountains of water into tho air to a height of 100 feet and tho reverbera tions seeming to shake the Inland to its foundations. MORTALITY IS FRIGHTFUL. So Many flpanlih Prltnnara Ara Djrlny That llodlotAr 1'lledand Ilurnad. Santiaoo DK CunA, Aug. 17. Tho Spanish steamer Isla do Luzon sailed yesterday morning for Spain, having on boards, ISO Spanish boldlortt." Tho embarkation of the prisoners is being pushed with great activity, This ia rendered linperatlvo by their horrible condition. Tho mortality is so great in the Spanish camp, whom disease is rampant, that no longer are tho dead buried. A funeral pllo- of ten or twelve bodies Is made, saturated with kerosene and set flro to, cremating tho bodies in the open air. colon elIiaThasTccepted. To flucceed Jntlge !? M Secretary of State. Washington, Augrl?. Colonel John Hay, United States ambassador to tho court of St. .Tomes, has accepted tho appointment of secretary of state, to Bucoeed Judge Day, who Is to bo chair man of tlio American peace commit niou. It is not known how soon Ambassa dor Hay is to leave Ixmdon to tako up his now work. His successor In Lon don will probably b Whltcluw Hold, ex-minister to Franco. jMgk BLANCO AND AUGUSTI RESIGN. In an Addrean tho (tovernor of Catm Sajt He Cannot Carry Oat Evacuation. Maiirui, Aug. 17. The government has received from Captain General Ulnneo a dispatch tendering his resig nation. Tho reason given by General Ulnneo for resigning is that he does not wish to superintend tho evacua tion of Cuba. Tho government Is also Informed Miat General Augustl, governor gen eral of tho Philippines, will leave Manila for Spain by tho first mall steamer, giving his command to tho second In rank. It Is believed that the Spanish gov ernment will decline to accept tho re signation of Governors ltlnnco and Augustl. Havana telegrams represent the Spanish element in the colony as fav oring American annexation us the b.st means to insure prosperity ami uvert anarchy. Havana, Aug. 10. General ltlnnco yesterday published the following ad dress to tho inhabitants of Cuba: "It having been resolved by tho Madrid government to conclude peace with tho United States, I consider my mission in this country ended, and have solicited my relief from duty. I could not urgo upon you a pacific solu tion of tho existing struggle, when not long ago I advised you to main tain the war In any event. "Since tins nation's government, which is surely inspired with tho great Interests of patriotism and a de sire also to Insure your property inter ests and those of tho other colony, believes tho moment has arrived to mako peace, it Is our duty faith fully to second her In her pur pose, but it can not bo that I am tho one called upon to perform a political duty which does not agree wlthny declarations, with my acts and with my convictions. I sec myself obliged to leave you at tho present painful and dtfllcnlt moment. Never theless, I will not do It without advis ing you to maintain the calmness and prudeneo so necessary to save the le gitimate interests of Spain in Cuba, which represent tho fruit of your la bor., and thus I think I have rendered my last and most disinterested borvice to Cuba, to her inhabitants, and cm pccially to tho city of Havana." A SUNDAY BATTLE. fighting In l'orto HI to Long After I'ro tocol Waa Slsned. Ponce, l'orto Kleo, Aug. 17. Gen eral Sehwan's column was attacked Sunday between Mayague. and Lares. As the Eleventh Infantry under Cjl lonel llurke was descending tho val ley of tlio Ulo Grande, they wero fired upon from a hillside by a force, of 1,500 Spaniards, who wero retreating toward the north. Tho flro was re turned nnd tho Spaniards wero re pulsed, with, It Is expected, consider able loss. Colonel Soto, the commindor of tho Mnyaguez district was wounded and was afterward overtaken In a waysldu cottage. He was attended by two ser geants, who surrendered. The Amer icans sulTcrcd no Iom. Tho artillery and cavalry were not engaged. General Schwan had not received news of tho signing of tho protocol when the actlou occurred, but obtained It Sunday afternoon. SEA POWER CAUSED THE WAR. The tendon Tlnicn Kay Only a Miracle Could Have Prevented It. London, Aug. 17. Tho Times, In an rdltorial article, emphasizes tho tre mendous lesson of the importance of sea power evinced in tho war between Spain and tho United states. It says: "Nothing but a miracle or cosmic catastrophe could have averted an ultimate collision between the growing sea power of the United States and the waning Spanish empire.'. Sea power in this sense caused the war and was its govornlug factor from first to last. It Is a lesson to the whole world, the full Import of which can hardly bo .discerned as yet, for tho fulfillment by tho United States of tho imperial des tiny foreordained by tho genius of her people to be expansive but not ag gressive will bo attained by conse quences of vital moment allko to tho Old world and tho New." TO PAY OFF THE CUBAN ARMY. How America May Manage the Iniur cents -Ar Secret Council lu Santiago. Santiago dk Cuiia, Aug. 17, A se cret meeting was held last night at the palace between the commanding oflieers of tho American army and tho Cuban leaders. Tho strictest becrecy was maintained, but it can bo said with good authority that General Gar cia was present Tho meeting lasted an hour and a half. The Information Is to the effect' that the Cuban situation was thoroughly reviewed, and It was resolved to dis band the Cuban army and that tho United States would pay the men off. This involves tho expenditure of 81r, 000,000, but it Is most Important to tho prosperity of the Island, whose wealth is entirely agricultural nobody, planter or farmer, daring to cultivate his lauds whllo the Insurgent bands are in tho field raiding and burning. Ilnth Ariulaa Crltlclied. London, Aug. 17. The Santiago cor respondent of tho London Times, who acted as interpreter for General Shat ter during tho Interviews procedlng tho surrender of Santiago, describes fully'tlo fighting and capitulation of the city and criticises severely the tactical blunders made, tho opportuni ties missed and tho lack of information of tho enemy's movements dUplayed Uy Doti Spaniards and Americans Tho correspondent says tho necessity for tlio surrender of Santiago is nc more evident now than it was before. THE WORST on earth! MUHDEn THE COMMON TRADE OF THE INHABITANTS. Artena, In thn VoUrlmi Miniiitiilin, llm ThU Unentlnhle lllfttlnrtlnu A N ur ic ry of AMitMlu CliurartcrUtlc 1'ato of a 1'oituiaii, RMED with u gov ernment eo in mis sion, Cchuio Lorn broso and other re nowned htUlloUtB of o r 1 in I n o 1 opy In Homo have turned their attention to the little city of Ar tenii, lu tho Volsel an m o u n t n I n h, pome forty inlle ns tho crow files from tho capital. Lom broso will wrllo a hook on Artonn. This town of 1,000 Inhabitants lives In history as tlio southern hutching oven of evil-doers nnd felons. As long u four and oiio-lutlf centuries ngo Corra- do Celto Fnld of Its citizens; "No pos sible punishment can deter them from heaping up crime upon crime, for their perversity of mind is nioro fertile In Inventing new offenses than the Im agination of Judges Is In now punish ments." At tho period mentioned new-fangled Ideas for executing and torturluj erlmln.ils were almost a plentiful as Hitch relating to bicycled uro today. When I asked ut tho rail way station at Homo for a ticket to Artena, I was told that no stirh place wna on tho route, nnd tho map cor roborated that statement. However, I insisted that tills town hud been n reality somewhere lu tho southeast of Romo between tho western main chain of the Apcniiineii and the Alhan moun tains for five or six centuries or even more. Then a coiinell of ofllelals was cajjod and one of them, who had for merly been In tho rcrvlco of the papal government, remembered that Artena waa n new name for the old robber stronghold of Montefortlno, whetc a tribe of tho ancient Volselnns, who navo tho Roman republic so inui'h trouble, Is still nourishing. "Artena," ho continued, "has no railway station, for u could ptohuhly not flnn station master who would trust himself in that neighborhood. The nearest sta tion Is at Volmontoup, on tho Rome Naples line, vln Delicti!." I found the town, which I reached on rauloback, one of the most picturesquely- situated In the kingdom. Artena crowns the summit of a mountain twelve, hundred feet high. Half way up stands a mighty castle, built like a fortress of tho middle ages, with towers and a moat galore. It belongs to tho Dorghesc, hut no member of that princely family hns sot foot in It ever since shirts of chain mall and steel bonnets went out of fashion. In fact they ceased taking personal Interest In their property since their neighbors acquired their first blunderbuss. The town consists of a single street, crawl ing up tho mountain In zig-zag fash Ion. The houses nro low and nnrrow In depth; behind the small back yards tho rocks descend abruptly, us If hewn off by a mighty rush of waters. From tho summit an enchanting outlook can lro had Into the Roman Cnmpagna, the Alban, and Sabine mountains. Tho 4,000 eitizes of this town are, according to tho mayor's statements, among the best situated In Italy as far as means and opportunities for making a steady and comfortable liv ing are concerned, even tho poorest of them owning enough rich land In the valley to yield all they need, while tho better-to-do families are among the heavy whent sellers and speculators of the province. That actual want does not exist In Artena wns further demon strated to mo by the surprising fact that during my visit there not a single beggar 'approached me; not oven the children asked for ccnteslmort. Under these circumstances, to which may bo added a particularly mild cli mate, ono should imagine that the Ar tenlans were n huppy-gaOivky lot, a MURDERER JEGADO. Ilttlo lazy, perhaps, but certainly un willing to habitually walk tho path of tho transgressor. Such a surmise would completely coincide with the writings of the Lorahrosos, Morrisons, Ferris and others, who nulst that tho majority of criminals nre bred under anomalous social conditions. More over, it would concur with tho latest yar-book of tho Now York Htnto re formatory, which says that G3 per cent ut criminals In New York cumo from homes which were positively bad; that is, where want and abject poverty reigned, besides crime; whllo only lYt per 'cent camo from homes that wero positively good. So much for patho logical theories. As a mntter of every day practice, crime flourishes lu Ar tena as If the town wero ono Immenso bagnio and Its 4,000 inhabitants so many graduates from the galloys, set free on a lone island to massacre and tK rob each other at will. An already stated, 2 per cent of all deaths In Ar te u are the outcome of inuider direct; persons dying of wounds received In assaults or by tho action of Incendiar ism are not Included In tho Itst. Thefts, street lohbery, burglary nnd as saults with stiletto or revolver am matters of such ordinary occurrence lu the town and In tho valley belong ing to the people that to Investigate them ail, according to tho mayor of the city, the number of police olllclals and Judges would have to be lncrenail out of all proportions to tho total num ber of Inhabitants. Tho authorities, continued this olllulal, take' notice only of the most atrocious of crimes brougnt to their notice by tho press of the cap ital or when non-residents suffer. This complacent ofllelal is the eleventh suc cessor of a mayor mysteriously tnur dcicd In Artena In the beginning of 1879. All these mayors were cleel.id for a period of ton years. Three died under tho hands of itsrasBtiis, two of them lu broad daylight, ami on the open market place. Tho lest iccelved such wounds as to cripple them for life and make them leave their posts In haste. Tho piesent Incumbent or the ntllrc aspires to the distinction of outliving his term, and to that cud goes about his busliiess with ears t" ctircly plugged and eyes shut. As a piece of general Information, he told me that "tlio number of crimes against life and property brought to olUcl.il recognizance in Aiteuu is tlftecn times greater, relatively, to the number of Inhabitants, than lu any other place, or district In Italy." Mark the words, "ofllelal recognizance!" Everything tends to show that almost the entire population of thin mountain town is Imbued with criminal piopenstlios. There Is no need of leading an Ai teuton YOUNG OTTAV1 who may have Btrayed from hlo or her environment Into crime by sugges tion. All of them t-eem to ho pos sessed of nn Irresistible passion for ciuolty cruelty that wishes Its victim to feel the bitterness of death. Tho men anil women of Artena are oven wanting In paternal and maternal af fection. Vengeauco Is of their dully prayer, and In dclllieratcnefls of crim inal purpose they have no equals on the face of Europe, savo, perhaps, In somo parts dominated by the "unspeak able Turk." Since the old namo of Montefortlnq was erased from tho map after the f.ill'of Rome and tho end of thn papal government In 1870, three entire fnmllles, some of tho oldest In tho elty, have been completely wiped out grandparents, parents, brothers and sisters, cousins nnd nieces, neph owh and tinelea and aunts the Scar cnzlcs, the Dabon and tho Ruins. Neighbor throw hlniEolf upon neighbor In the Held, on tho street, or in his or her castle, the home. All houses are provided with means of fortifica tions and mnny trap doors. Victims of hatted or tho prizes of robbery uro killed, maimed or tortured, A houso goes up In flnmo and half a dozen chil dren with It.. Who cares? Next day a friend of the murdered family shoots down tho perpetrator or perpetrators wherever ho finds or tracks them. The authorities nro powerless, for no citizen of Artonn will bear witness against another. "Vengeance is mine," foays tho mountain "hero" or "heroine," and no matter how convincing the proof furnished, his or her obstinacy of denial Is greater. I attended a ses sion of tho nbslzes nt Artena early In tho year. Tho whole town knnw that young Ottavl saw his father murdered by Jegado. Did ho bear out tho public prosecutor? Not a word could that of ficial draw from his Fealed lips. Ills slaters, his mother, who had been like wlso direct or Indirect witnesses to tho deed, wero equally silent. When 1 re turned to Rome I rcail In the Tribune a dispatch saying that Jegado's house was, broken into night before InBt, and that tho murdorer and his family of three small children wero hound to tho bed, drenched with kerosene, and slowly roasted to death "perpetrators unknown," of course. Murder la avenged by murder In Ar tena, as was done for contuiies pust In Montefortlno, and whoever testifies ngalnst a red-handed scoundrel takes his llfo In his hands. Hatred, Jealousy and petty squabbles lead to new mur ders, for tho citizen of Artena Ib' un stable, excessively vain, morbidly Irri tative, and loves revenge above all things. After 1870 tho now government re solved to break up tho Ume-honored robbor nests, and Montefortlno n rar tluuloj was glveu a strong Judicial ad ministration; schools were erected, nnd tho greatest severity was exerehV'd In carrying out und forcing respevt for thn laws. As a consequence, n few hundred of tho Inhabitants had to be taken charge of at once and shipped to Jho county seat, where they wero confronted with their judges, a cago having been built for every twelvo prisoners. Whole families wero then deported, but crime did not diminish In tho least. The new elty o? Altera -w,:f 'Jufi us ,nh u nam c old Mvmtoforllno. Just before Pletro Arclurlto heaped now criminal renown upon his native city by attempting the llfo of Kins tlia bcrto lu April Inst, u royal ofllelal waa foully murdered In Artena, nnd though many are undoubtedly In tho secret of his taking off, It lu Impossible to gain one particle of evldiiico assuring con viction. It hnppened lu this way: About a year ago tho letter catTlor of the city was deposed and nnothor younger man sent from Rome to tnkc his place. Tho wife of thu former, ft line-looking woman, went about tho city bewailing his mlsfortuno and of fering proof Hint her husband had been unlawfully dlbinlsRcd. I'Miiully sho gave out that she hud made it vow to the Holy Virgin to wear a bl.tck dresn In the Easter protcsston, which meant certain death to tlio new letter carrier. Of course, tlio people of Artena saw thr point of this talk, and when the young woman thuii appeared on April IS ainongv three hundred otheis clad In white, singing and praying lu the pro cession behind tho miss, nobody In town doubted that the government would soon have to rend it second post man to that. dlMrlet. Tho hkispliemoiis woman not only wore tho uiicuuwntlunul droMt, hut In stead of tho candle and (lowers car tied an unllghted torch In her hand wound with crape. On the following .Monday, April M, tho letter carrier was found dead In tho road lending from Volinontone to tho mountain town. He had been shot through the head and u dagger stuck In his heart. All hla money and valuabto letters were gone. There nro only surmises as to the murderer or murderers, and these- any that tho man was shot down by Maria's husband, and that she. to make death sure, or following nn impulse of cruel ty, plunged the knlfo Into him. Tho government stands aghast be fore tho problem of what to do with this town full of criminals. On March 7, l."i7. i'ope Paul IV. Issued an edict ordering tho elty of Montefortlno to be razed to the ground. Tho command was only half carried out. Troops drove the eltlzuns from their utrong hoids Into the forottB and encamped on the victorious ground after many a hot battle. Hut two years later the new Pontiff. ,1'Iuh IV.. allowed the cit izens to leturn. and tlnco then no such summary reform has been attempted, although It Js generally conceded to lie the only one that might be of lasting benefit. MISSING MOTHER FOUND. Ilrr Son Hud Not Slrurd from Her for Twenty Year. Proceedings which wero begun on June 9 before Register Hackett by Robert II. Ashmead of 4817 Franklin street, Krankford, for tho grant of himself of letters of administration upon tho estate of ills mother, Maria L. Ashmead, who wan supposed to bo dead, eamb to nn abrupt conclusion yesterday by tho nppearanco of the supposed deceased wife and mother, lu his application Mr. Ashmead speci fied that his mother was supposed to be dead on account of her long ab senceupward of seven ycaru from her place of domicile. Ho stated that there were surviving hor u liuaband, Edwin A. Ashmead, who had obtained a divorce from her on April 3, 1880; a son, the petitioner, mid nnothcr son, Edward A. Ashmead, a resident of Le banon. He said she lind personal prop erty amounting to $1,600 nnd real es tate valued at $2,000, as near ns could be ascertained. Register Hackett w:ui about to go ahead with his hearing yesterday, whon Mrs. Aehmend honielf walked into tho hearing room, nnd made herself known to her son Robert, who sho hud' abandoned, and to one of her brothorH. Tho identification wai verified by an old-tlmo resident of Krankford, who was present. Attornoy W. II. Peace, who had brought the suit, as representing the son, then for mally withdrew the application, and tho case wus dismissed. Mrs. Ash mead, her ton, nnd brother left the office together. According to tho depo sitions before the muster, Mr. Ash mend, who Is a biilesman In a depart ment store, Is now 57 years old; Mrs. Ashmead, CI; their son Robert, 30, tnd Edward, 24 yearn. Robert H. Ashmeaa v.'ns seen last night at his homo and talked at length concerning tho disap pearance of his 'mother. "So far as I know, Mrs. Ashmead went buck to New York today," said he. "She told mo that sho Intended to return, and I be llevo that she did so. However, I do not know what her address Is there. Sho refused to tell, saying .that sho wished to keep that t-ecrct for tho present. My mother disappeared in September, 1878. Wo were nt that time living In Philadelphia, and my brother and myself happened to como out hero to Krankford to visit. We wero told that sho had gone to Easton to visit friends there. I have not seen her since, until toduy, and only knew that sho was alive after I filed my applica tion for letters of administration. Nono of her lelatlvea hero have known of her whereabouts, and I naturally believed her dead. Sho saw an account of tho legal proceedings In the Ledger, and took stops to secure her properly. I believe that she still retains the name of AHnmeau fr.m tn0 TMCr thut her lawyer addressed her today by thftt name. Hdwover, I am not sure of that, us I was uuuble to learn from her any thing of her llfo since leaving here." Philadelphia Ledger. Hlilftlnc thn Hrioiilbllltj. "What do you mean when you say QuUby Is a patriot more or loss by proxy?" "Ho'a one of tho men who hurried all their checks out on Juno ?f bo ns to avoid buying a revenue stamp." Washington 3tar. OUR BUJUUET 0JD4 lUN. SOME GOOD JOKES, ORIQINAL, AND SELECTED. A Mmkc Tonight, dear lad, the mm unrolled A glowing bridge of beaten gold, Across tho unceitaln blue; nd. In the giory of Its track, t sent a homesick wanderer back A longing .thought to you. flwccthcnrt, be on the watqh tonight 'otween the htinsct and starlight; Perchanco my thought will como Qn client snndals from the west, To lay Its f.ico against thy breast, Albeit Its lips are dumb. Thcodosla Pickering. In Time. The walllng-ioom of the Huston am l.kutit Railroad station was hot. Everything about It, from the dingy lcttriH on tlio door to thn shabby red plush of the seats, was dirty. An uflor of bananas and peppermint ennur from tho refieshment stand. Near tho door two schoolgirls lu showy hats wero eating caramels and rolling their eyes nt tho ticket agent. A nhrlvoled old lady wit In a retired corner, sur reptitiously adding to the dusty pile of peanut shells which lay under th font. Halfway down tho room, a r.tltky child In a dirty white cup, be ing forbidden to roll on tho floor, kicked Its mother frantically and gave, vein to a series of angry shrieks. Hetween tho windows sat a girl who, fi-um hor small velvet turban to thn tip of hor polished boot, seemed tho voiy embodiment of luxury. Her mouth had a determined expression, but her blue eyes were unsophistica ted and there was an admiring, trust ful look In them as stio gazed at the mnn by hor side. Ho appeared lcca' obviously out of place lu tho forlorn surroundings. HI clothes wero new too new; nnd ho seemed lit at case. Ills yomowhat ex pressionless eyes rolled nervously nnd ho alUmately fidgeted hla gtove but ton and fondled it scrubby Httlo mus tache. Suddenly there was a rattle and jar at the dingy door and an elderly man hastily entered. He east a glance, aiout the room, nnd then walked di rectly toward the pair by the window. The young man started up nt his ap proach and began to speak with evi dent embarrassment. "Wo arc that Is you see" "Come, Marguerite," Interrupted the gentleman, "wo have Just tlmo to catch) the thrce-forty-flve train for homo." He held out his hand for; tho travel ing bag. The young girl drew herself up resentfully. "Father," she said, "Alfred and I are. together now, at last and forever." Sho smiled and looked proudly up to tho young man by her sldu for con firmation. Ho had picked up her ban from tho sent und wns about tohhand It over hor to her father. Her icheok paled slightly and then flushed. Silent ly sho took the hag from hla hand & from that of n servant; then lifting thn breadths of her skirts, sho turned to her father with a smile; "Just time," IjIhi lepcatcd mechanically "Juat tlnif to catch tlio thrcc-forty-IUe." 1IU Only I'lirpimo. The mountaineers who form the two favalry conianles at Camp Hradley, are the source of n great deal of fun for tho Legion boys. When ono of them was being examined a physician lokingly nsked if ho cou!d read. "No, gol durn It, I can't," he replied, "but I didn't como up ycro to toach skulc I come tor light." It Is needless to eay that he passed. Louisville Courleri Journal. An Afternoon Call. He called upon the sea-shore. To hear tho water spout; llo rang the hell, tho bell-buoy said. "The tide has Just gone out." Kenton for It. "What In tho world has induced Drown to join the ranks of tho bicyclo scorchers? Ho used to bo such au easy, quiet sort of a rider." "Why, you see, ho foels that If there Is another call for troops It will bo hi duty to voluuteor." "Well?" "Well, he bus' read that the examin ing surgeons reject 95 per cont of th scorchers. Thus he will bo able to make n reputation for patriotism with out going to war." He Knew. "Can you tell me," asked hla wlfo scornfully, after looking over tho prop, crty ho had just purchased, "whatever Induced you to buy this plac7" "I can," he answered promptly. "What?" she demanded. "Ono of tho smartest real estatt agents In this part of the country." A Mora Cnra. ' i ' "Ho says he was not a bit senalck on his trip from Europe." "Ho was not. Ho never took th v -- !'! m m if U trip." H g ... -juJ . " -. . B . , t . i aaal