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About The Red Cloud chief. (Red Cloud, Webster Co., Neb.) 1873-1923 | View Entire Issue (June 24, 1898)
fcmwvkvmt.,- -'vAym,' A Brave Coward Dy Robert Louis Stevenson. SiV&'Wl'Ti,,yAi1 CHA1TKR 11. --(Continued, i My wife and I, a man and a woman, nave often agreed to wonder how a per son could !.: at the name time so hand aome and so repulsive as Northiuour. He had the appearance of a finished .gentleman; his face bore every mark of Intelligence nnd courage, but you on ly had to look nt him. even In his most nmlublo moment, to sec that he had tlie temper of a slave captain. I never knew a character that win both explosive and revengeful to the same degree; he. combined the vivacity of the South with the sustained and deadly hatreds of the North; and bolh trails were plainly written on his -ace, which was a sort of danger signal. In person ho was tall, strong and active; his hair and complexion very dark; his features handsomely designed, but spoiled by n menacing expression. At that moment hl was somewhat paler than by nature; he wore a heavy frown; and his lips worked, and he looked sharply round as he walked.llke a man besieged with apprehensions. And yet 1 thought he had a look of triumph underlying all, as though he had already done much, and was near the end of an achievement. Partly from a scruple of delicacy which 1 dare say came too late- partly from the pleasure of startling an ac quaintance, I desired to make my pres ence known to him without delay. I got suddenly to my feet, and stop ped forward. "Nortlimour!" said I. I have never had so shocklrg a sur prise In all my day3. He leapt d on me without a word; something shone In Ills hand; and he struck for my heart with a dagger. At the same moment 1 knocked him head over heels. Wheth er it was my quickness, or his own un certainty, I know not; but the !lud only grazed my shoulder, while the hilt and his list struck mo violently on the mouth. I lied, but not far. I had often and often observed the capabilities of the uand hills for protracted ambush on stealthy advances nnd retreats; and. not ten yards front the scene of the scuflle, plumped down again upon the Krass. The lantern had fallen nnd gone out. Hut what was my astonishment to see Nortlimour slip at a bound Into the pavilion, and hear him bar the door behind hint with a clang of Iron! He had not pursued me. He had run nway. Northiuour, whom I knew for the most implacable and daring of men, had run away! As I thus stood transfixed with wonder, I began to grow painfully con scious of the Injuries I had received in the scullle; I skulked around among the sand hills; nnd, by a devious path, regained the shelter of the wood. On the way, tho old nurse passed again within several ynrds of me, still car rying her lantern, on the return Jour ney to tho mansion house of Graden. This made a seventh suspicious featuro in the case. Northiuour and his guests, it appeared, wore to cook and do tho clennlng for themselves, while the old woman continued to Inhabit the big 'mpty barrack nmong the policies. There must surely bo great cause for secrecy, when so many Inconveniences were confronted to preserve It. So thinking, I made my way to tho den. For greater security, I trod out tho embers of the lire, and lit my lan tern to examine the wound upon my shoulder. It was it trilling hurt, though It bled freely, nnd I dressed It as well as I could (for Its position made it dllllcult to reach) with some rags and cold water from tho spring. While I was thus busied, 1 mentally declar ed war against Northiuour nnd his mystery. CIIAPTKR II r. For two days I skulked round the pa vilion, prollting by tho uneven surface of tho links. 1 became nil adept In tho necessary tactics. TJic.se low hillocks and shallow dolls, running ono into an other, became a kind of cloak of dark ness for my enthralling, but perhaps dishonorable, pursuit. Yet, In aplto of this advantage, I could learn but little of Northiuour or his guests. Sometimes I thought tho tall man must bo confined to bed, for I romem berv'd the feebleness of his gait; and sometimes I thought ho must hnve fiono clear nwny, and that Northiuour and tho young Indy remained nlono to gether In tho pavilion. Tho Idea, even then, displeased me. Whether or not this pair wore man and wlfo I hnd seen nbundnnt reason to doubt tho frlondliness of their re lation. Although I could hear nothing of what they said, and rarely so much as glean n decided expression on ho . faco of either, there was n distance, al most a stiffness, In tholr bearing which showed them to bo either unfamiliar or nt enmity. On tho morning of tho third day sho wnlked alono for some time, and I per ceived, to my great concern, that she ;was moro than once In tears. You '' will seo that my heart was already In terested moro than I supposed. Sho had a firm yet nlry motion of tho body, and carried her head with unlmngln ablo grace; every stop was a thing to look at, and sho seemed in my eyes to breathe sweetness nnd distinction, Tho dny was so agreeable, bolng calm nnd sunshiny, with a tranquil sea, and yet with a healthful piquancy vigor la tho nlr, that, contrary to cus tom, alio was tempted forth a second time to walk. On this occasion she was accompanied by Nortlimour, and they had been but a short while on tho beach when I saw hint take forcible possession of her hand. She struu- I l'lml Mill) tlHoe.Mt .. r..... , 1.,., ..,.., ,.l CJ-.. ...... HlUllll t 1 I llltll 1, ,J .11- most a scream. I sprang to my feet, unmindful of my strange position; but, ere I had taken n stop I saw Nortli mour bare-headed and bowing very low, r- if to apologize; nnd dropped again at once Into my ambush. A few words were Interchanged, nnd then, with another bow. he left the bench to return to the pavilion. He passed not far from me, nnd I could see him. flushed and lowering, and cutting sav agely with his cane among the grass. It was not without satisfaction that I recognized my own handiwork In the great cut under his right eye, and a considerable discoloration around the socket. For some time the girl remained where he had left her, looking out past the Islet and over the bright sea. Then with a start as one who throws off preoccupation and puts energy again upon Its metal, she broke Into a rapid and decisive walls. She also was much Incensed by what had passed. She had forgotten where she was. And 1 be held her walk straight Into the bor ders of the quicksand where It Is most abrupt and dangerous. Two or three steps further and her life would have been In serious Jeopardy, when I slid down the face of the sand hill, which Is there precipitous, and. running half way forward, called to her to stop. She did so, and turned round. There was not a tremor of fear In her be havior, and she marched directly up to me like u queen. "What does this mean?" she asked. "You were walking." I told her. "di rectly into Graden Floe." "You do not belong to those parts." alio said again. "You apjitk like nn educated man. What do you mean -you, a gentleman by skulking like a spy about this desolate place? Tell me," she said, "who Is It you hate?" "I hate no ono," 1 answered, "and I fear no one faco to face. My name is Cassills Frank Cnssllls. I lead tho life of a vagabond for my own good pleasure. 1 am one of Nortlunour's oldest friends, and three nights ago when 1 addressed him on these links ho stabbed me in tho shoulder with a knife." "It wns you!" she tald. "Why he did so." 1 continued, dis regarding the Interruption. "Is muro than I can guess and more than I care to know. I have not many friends, nor am I very susceptible to friendship, but no man shall drive me front a place by terror. I had camped In Orn den Sea-wood ere ho came; 1 camp In it still. If you think I mean harm to you or yours, nindam, the remedy Is In your hand. Toll hint that my camp is In the Hemlock Den, and to-night he can stab me In safety while I sleep." With this I doffed my cap to her and scrambled up once more among the sand hills. 1 do not know why. but I felt a prodigious sense of Injustice and folt liko a hero and a martyr; while, as a matter of fnct, I had not a word to say In my defense nor so much as ono plausible reason to offer for my conduct. Next day she camo out about tho same hour alone, and, ns soon ns tho sand lulls concealed her from the pa vilion, drew nearer to the edge, and called me by name In guarded tones. I was astonished to observe that she was deadly pale, ami seemingly under tho Influence of strong emotion." "Mr. Cassills!" she cried; "Mr. Cas sills!" 1 appeared at once, nnd leaped down upon tho bench. A remarkable air of relief overspread her countennnee as soon us sho saw me. "Oh!" she cried, with a hoarse sound, like one whose bosom has been lightened of weight. And then. "Thnnk Clod, you are still safe!" she adiled; "I know If you were you would bo hero. Promise me that you will sleep no longer In that wood. You' do not think how I suffer: nil inat night I could not sleep for thinking of your peril." "Peril?" I repented. "Peril from whom? From Nortlimour?" "Not so," sho said. "Did you think I would toll him aftor what you said?" "Not from Nortlimour?" I repented. "Then how? From whom? I seo none to be ufrald of." "You must not ask me," wns her re ply, "for I am not free to tell you. Only bollovo me, and go hence believe me, nnd go away quickly, quickly, for your llfo!" An appeal to his alarm Is never a good plan to rid one's self of n spirit ed young man. My obstinacy was but Increased by what sho suld. and I made it a point of honor to remain. And her solicitude for my bafety otlll moro confirmed mo In tho resolve. "You must not think mo Inquisitive, madam," I replied; "but If Graden is so dangerous a plnco you yourself per haps remain hero nt some risk." Sho only looked at mo reproach fully. "You nnd your father" but sho in terrupted mo almost with a gnsp. "My father! How do you know that?" eho cried. "I saw you together when you land ed," wa8 my nnBwer; and I do not know why, but it seomed satisfactory to both of us, ns Indeed It was tho truth. "Hut," 1 continued, "you need havo no fear from mo. I see you have somo reason to bo socrct, and, you may bollovo mo, your necrct Is ns nafo with mo ns if I wero In Graden Floe. I havo scarco spoken to nny ono for years. TILE EED CLOUD CHIEF. My horse Is my only companion, antf even he. poor beast, Is not beside mo Yu see, then, you may count on m for silence. So tell me the truth. .: dear young lady, are vou not In dan ger?" "Mr. Nortlimour says yon are an honorable man." she returned, "and I believe It when I see you. 1 will tell you so much, you nre right; we are In dreadful, dreadful danger, nnd you share It by remaining where you are." "Ah!" said I; "you have heard of me rrom Northiuour? And be give me a good character?" "I asked him about you last night." was her reply. "I pretended." she hes itated, "I pretended to have met you long ago and spoken to you of him. It was not true; but I could nol help my self without betraying you and yr.i had put me lit a dllllculty. He praised you highly." "And -you may permit me one que.. Hon- does this danger come from Northiuour?" I asked. "From Mr. Nortlimour?" she cried. "Oh, no; he stays with us to share It." "While you propose that 1 should run away?" I said. "You do not rate, mo very high. "Why should you stay?" she asked. "You are no friend of ours." I know not what came over me. foi I had not been conscious of a similar weakness since I was a child, but 1 was so mortified by this retort that my eyes pricked and filled with tears us I continued to gaze upon her face. "No. no." she said In a changed voice; "I did not mean the words un kindly." "It was I who offended." I said; and 1 held out my hand with it look of ap peal that somehow touched her, for she gave me hers at once and even eager ly. 1 held It for awhile in mine unit gazed Into her eyes. It wns she who first tore her hand away and. forget ting all about her request nnd the promise she had sought to extort, ran at tho top of her speed and without turning till she was out of sight. And then I knew that I loved her, and thought In my glad heart that she she herself was not Indifferent to my suit. Mnny a time she has denied It In after days, but It was with a smil ing but not n serious denial. Tho fol lowing day we again met. The next, and that was the fourth dny of our acquaintance, we met In the same spot, but early In the morning, with much familiarity, nnd yet much timidity on either aide. When alio had onco more spoken about my danger and that, 1 understood, was her ex cuse for coming I, who had prepar ed a great deal of talk during the night began to tell her how highly I valued her said Interest, and how no one had ever cared to hear about my life, nor hud I ever cared to relate It. before yesterday. Suddenly alio Interrupted mo. saying with vehemence: "And yet, if you knew who I was. you would not so much as speak to me!" J told her such a though! wns mad ness, and, little as we had met. I counted her nlready a dear friend; but my protestations seemed only to make her more desperate. "My father Is In hiding!" she cried. "My dear." said, forgetting for the first time to add "young lady." "what do I care? If he wero in hiding twen ty times over, would It make one thought of change In you?" "Ah. but the cuuse?" she cried, "tho cause! It Is" sho faltered for a see. ond "it Is disgraceful to us." (To be continued.) The D.iiixi'ioiin Ilium, "I hnve sometimes wondered whether a fever would afreet a man today as It did in war time," said tho veteran. "My experience isn't very extenalve.but I wouldn't enro to bo a trained nurse If nil typhoid convalescents resembled Jim Holies. Our command was scout ing In Southern Tennessee, covering a good deal of ground on a basis of very slim rations. Jim's ncqualntunco with field hospitals had not been wlmiiv !. llghtful, I Imagine, and he reported for duty when ho hud hardly any symp toms of recovery but un nppetlte. Rusty ham and hardtack didn't seem to dc Jim much good. Ho ate them, but they left him looking thinner and hungrier than ever. Two of the boys had cap tured n chicken somewhere, nnd had stolen away by themsedves for n quiet feast. Wandering lonosomely around, Jim discovered them. He stood nnd looked nt tho chicken, spitted on n ram rod nnd roasting over a fence rail (Ire. Tho boys were hungry, too, nnd they didn't say a word. 'Did you ever sec two dogs quarreling over a bone, Dan?' Jim asked at length. 'Yes,' 'Well, pretty soon you may see a bone quar reling over two dogs,' he added. 'And I'll be tho bone.' They divided th chicken." AfrldH'H Ancient Men. Itecent studies of tho animal life of Lake Tanganyika has shown that that lake differs from all other African lakes In possessing Inhabitants that belong to oceanic species. Still, there singular denizens of Lake Tangan yika are not exactly llko the marlno organisms of tho present day, and the oncluslon is drawn that a sea, con nected with the open ocean, onco occu pied tho part of Africa whero Tangan yika now lies, nnd that tho lake Is the last remnant of the ancient sea. lln VFu Hiiiullrn)iil, Mr. Westlako says ho didn't enjoy the basket picnic you got up at all. What was tho troublo?" "It war- all because ho couldn't eat nny of the plo. Wo for got to take knives along." Hit Ailvimtucn, Mrs. Hlnks "Does your husband over complain when ho gets homo and finds that the dinner Is cold?" Mrs. Fuddy "f?o; he always gory to the ball games." A HAPPY AFTERNOON. The obliging young man In the Iron mongery shop had never done anytliin,: to offend the schoolgirl of IT. who was gazing meditatively Into the shop win dow. Ho had never seen her even lie fore. He hopes now that he will never nee her again. She out'Mcd, looking shyly mound her, took the seat to which the obliging voting man waved his hand, and sigh ed: "1 should like." the said, "to see come corkscrews." This brought out nil the young man's nrst qualities. He was siia e In hl reply, deferential In his smile, anil quick with his linger. As he un wrapped parcels, and let loose different breeds of corkscrews, one after another he inquired If she had a perference for nny special kind. "Yes," he said, "the corkicrew:t I want to see are patent corkscrews; those with a dodge, or trick, or catch, or lever, to make the coik come out easily." "Certainly, miss. Quito so." said tho young man. Intelligently. "I have several neat little Inventions of the kind. This one, you will observe, Is simplicity itself. No pulling, no vio lence required. Screw Into the cork so, turn the handle so, and the coil; comes out. We sell a great many of these." "I can quite understand that." said the girl, "It looks clever, la It dear.'" "One and nine pence, miss. We have the same thing In a better quality at " "Oh, thanks." said the girl. "I think the quality of this Is beautiful. . May I see another one?" "Certainly, miss," said the young mnn. "Now, thin Is a clever little thing, on the lever principle; no pull ing or violence requiied. You Just" "May I try It?" She was by no means a bad looking girl, and, though It was stretching a point, the assistant drove an old cork into nn empty bottle, and allowed her to draw It out again. "Yes." the girl said, "that Is charm ing. 1 like that much the best. What price Is It?" "This Is a little dearer. Two and four. Weil say two and three, as I see a slight speck of rust on tlie han dle, which, however, will easily clean off." He began to wrap It up In paper briskly. The girl looked at him with aad, won dering eyes. "Why are you wrapping It up like that?" she asked. "Well, miss. I supposed that you'd sooner carry It wrapped up. If you llko to take It as It is. and Flip Into your pocket, of course " "I don't think I ought to do that." said the girl. "You see. It's not my corkscrew. I don't think you ought to suggest that I should steal your cm- t lS'Ll I. f-V;7 Trap" " . r i i i i r TS.II M. u cwjy-".. iTfr At t :-. e-- Z-"MT3..i "" irn M; "I DON'T DRINK." pToyer's goods. It's not hone.it. Is it ! Of course, I don't want to preach; I havo several faults myself, but " Hero tho young man broke In frigid ly "I wns under tho Impression that you were buying that corkscrew." "Why?" asked the girl. "I never said anything about buying. I dour want to buy nny corkscrews. It's not nlco of you to pretend that I do. What does a girl of my ago want with cork screws? I don't drink. I Just warned to look nt the clever mechanism, and so on. and I think you showed thorn off nicely. I ought to havo thanked you before. I'll do It now. Thank you." "Hero," said tho young mail, with tllo lntenKO calm of tho exasperated. "Yoi may think it a funny thing to come in here, turn over tho stock, spoil It by handling, nnd wn3to my time; but let mo toll you thnt people who don't coino In hero ns customers como In hero as trespassers, and by the law " Sho did not look quite so frightened es he had hoped. "Yes," she said. "l know all about the law, and It doesn't affect me, bn cause, you see, I camo In as a customer. It doesn't follow because I don't want to buy corkscrews that I don't want to buy anything else. You'ro so hasty. That Is how you got wrong." "Is thero," said tho young man, "any thing which you want to buy? Not want to seo, mind; want to buy?" "Yes," said tho girl, "there is. Hut must I buy It without seeing it? it doesn't seem to mo to bo the usual way of doing business, but I daresay you know best." Tho young mnn sighed. "You can see any article which you nro Intending to buy." "Well, you should have snld that bo foro. You contradict yourself, you know. I want n packet of that blue gray Sllurlnn note paper, with envel opes to match, and somo chocolato uougat." "You't better get out of tho shop," eald the man, "You know perfectly woll thnt this In nn ironmonger's, not n stationer's," "You really nro much too hasty." paid tho girl. "I'm only following your own directions, nnd you can't buy chocolato nougat at a stationer's. There's a card la that window which says; 'If you ,! Ill , I , I lll'l W - 'i C1T wv. i I 1 1 ' li, i rrrriTr-s. ' I I don't see whnt you want In tho window kl.idly step Inside and ask for It.' J .didn't see nny Silurian note paper In that window, so I kindly stepped In side, nnd " "Will you go?" suld the young man, lining his self-control. "Not Immediately. If I've hetn mis led, It's your fault, for putting notices In the window which you don't mean. Why do you do It? You shouldn't. There nre other things I want as well. I want a penny box of tin tacks." "Will jou go?" "Yes. Hut I think you ought to serve me first, without being liupoll'o about it." She turned tumid to the proprietor, who nt that moment appeared behind the counter. "Do you think." she said, "you could persuade this young man to sell me a penny box or tin tucks'.' I want them, and I have got the penny. Whenever I nsk for them he roars out: 'Will vou go?' " "She comes In here " the young man began. "Well, he can see that for himself," said the girl. "Hut don't want to talk about It any more. If, In a big ironmonger's shop like (Ms, two grown men can't ne penny worth of tin tacks,. I'd belter try somewhere else. Good-morning." So she spent a penny on a tram ride Instead, and laughed the whole of the way, to the amazement and disgust of the conductor and fellow passengers. Today. GREAT NAVAL DISASTERS. ApputllllK I.Ul nf l.n-ne nf Slllpi Vol III Action. A list or the greatest naval disasters In whl'h war vessels figured would In clude (he following: Ki'gar, Kngllsh. blew up. 1711: all on board perished. Naniur. Kngllsh. jTI'.l; T.'IO lost. liiuce George. Kngllsh sloop, burn ed. IT.'.S; IDI) lost. Royal Geoige. Fngllsh frigate. 178'J; lives lost, over duo. St. George and Defence. Kngllsh frigates. 1S1I; nearly L'.(iOi) lives lost. Mediise, French frigate, 1SH!; nearly 200 lost. Illrkenhead. Kngllsh troopship. 18:; 4 I lost. Albany. Hiitish sloop or war, 1 SS3 ; "10 lost, all on board. I.ady Nugent. Kngllsh tioopshlp, ISM; 100 lives lost. Kurydlce. Kngllsh training ship, 1S7S; ::oi) lost. l S. S. Oneida, lS7fl; ih" persona lost. Captain. Kngllsh war vessel, '1870; nearly every oho on board perished. V. S. S. Huron, 1S77; 100 lives lost. Grosser Kurfurst, German Ironclad. 1S7S; about IlOO lives lost. Dotterel, Kngllsh sloop of war. ex ploded 1SSI; 1 111 klled and drowned. Victoria, Kngllsh battleship, 180.1; i00 lost. Relmi Regente. Spanish warship. ISM; J'JO lost. I'. S. S. Maine, blown up, 1S!)S; 2C, lives IojI. Kngland lias been the unfortunate victim of the two greatest naval dis asters on recoid. On Nov. HO, 17011, the Stirling Castle, 70 guns; .Mary, 7tguns; Northumberland. 70 guns; Vanguard. 70 guns; York. 70 guns; Resolution. HO guns; Newcastle, t!0 guns, and Reserve. CO guns, were all lost in the same storm and man hundred. perished. Again, in October. 170, tint Thunderer, 71 guns; Stirling, ill guns; Defiance, (U guns; Phoenix, 41 guns; La Illiinchc. .'W guii3; Laurel. US guns; Shark. 2H guns; Andromeda. L'X guns; Deal Cas tle, L'l guns; Pene'oie, 21 cutis; Scar borough, 20 gu;.s; Kabadoos. 14 guns; .Clnmelcon, II guns; Kndenvour, 11 guns, and Victor, 10 tiu3, were lost In the WcBt Indies. MILK IN THE COCOANUT. There Are Tho Vhj of Celling nt It When One 'Wmita in Drink II. Kvery boy knows the three eyej to be found In ono end or a cocoanut, and many a boy has bored these small eyes out, or one or two of them, with the small inane or a pocket knlfo so as to get at the milk In the cocoanut, which he has then drained out Into cup or drunk direct rrom the cocoanut ItsuR. Jlut there Is a more fascinating way still of getting nt the milk In the cocoanut. Ily thh other method the cocoanut is opened nt the other end from the eyes. The cocoanut Is struck all around gent ly and repeatedly with a hammer, or a atone will do, at a distance ol itbout one-third of tho way down from tho top. about whore tho Arctic circle would bo on a globe. A continual gen tle tapping will finally crack the shell or the nut all around; not In a lino ex actly on the circle opposite, but pretty near to It. Sometimes It cracks shell and meat of tho nut, too, so that both can bo lifted off together; sometimes It crncks out only a shell cap at the top, which Is lifted ofT, and the enp of meat underneath Is then cut out around with n knlfo. And then there you aro with tho white-lined cocoanut cup to drink from. Slerlt TelU, Orriulonnlly. Charles Roono of Dayton, Ohio, who has been appointed to Annapolis as a cadet, was tho only ono of fifty nppll cnntH who did not havo recommenda tions from wealthy men. For years ho supported himself and mother, and at tho same time guined a good educa tion by selling papors in his natlvo city. runner' Vnvr Hank Fear of robbers induced a farmer In MlBhnwuka, Ind to conceal 500 In rold In u corncrlb. Some weoks after ward the money was missing, Tho farmer's cow hecamo ill and died, ami a post-mortem examination revealed the coin in tho cow's stomach. 8 nACCOON RITES. Tholr limnnmlon f Infant V.ooun n4 Their VmhltiB. if I'-.i.mI llefnrH i:tlng. From the Cincinnati Inquirer: You have missed a couple of mighty singu lar events If you txnor saw a coon christening or com rood cleansing out at the Zoo. The coon homo at the Zoo consists simply of a plot of ground about ns large ns a barn door or extra generous size would cover. Thla li surrounded by a wire fence four fer, high, topped with a broad, up-curving tin rail, which prevents the llttlu cl'jwn-llko creatures rrom escaping. In the i enter of this yard Is a tree twenty reel high and having iiinr.y nnd heavy limbs. Near the baFe or the tree Is n several root square pool or water. This pool marks two very exclusive, very notable characteristics that distinguish the coon rrom any other animal. The pool Is the coon's christening and food lieanslng place. When u coon gives birth to young utmost the tlrat thing she does Is to take her babies one by one In her mouth and, accompanied by the rather coon, proceeds slowly nnd solemnly In the pool. Arriving nt Its brink, nnd while the dad coon stands thoughtfully by, the mother baptizes the little one beneath the wavo with all the decorum nnd solicitude that n Raptlst clergyman Immerses it candi date for church membership. ARcr lowering It gently down beneath the "nrfn mil lirtlng It up again. Mra. Coon and her husband wend their way back again to their family corner or the yard. This service, solemn and staid, la continued by Mr. nnd Mrs. Coon until every mother's son of their Just arrived offspring has been duly christened. Viewed soberly. It la real ly one of the most unique, Impressive, processional performances imaginable. Rut the Indescribable drollncss of Urn picture made by the wee husband and wire an I hey go through with the per roiniunce la Illimitable, and smiles. R not laughter, come to almost every one who witnesses the seiio-comlc bit of drama. Almost any hour any day In the year you can find a group or people tossing hits or goodies to the coons, t'pon picking up one or these Mr. or Mrs. Coon instantly, with the "goody" held daintily In Its teeth, trots over to the pool and swashes the morsel back and rorth In the water two or Ihieo times. Then returning to Ita fa vorite corner, or up to Its favorlto crotch In tlie tree, the little chap sets to devouring It In a way so dainty and sedate as to put rood-gulping human to the blush. Rut or course you would n't blush at Clown Conn's etiquette. There Is so much original comedy In every move he makes In thla rood cleansing nnd eating process that you laugh In spite or yourself. Ilia very nppcarance. particularly lit motion, ltla Jnilge-llke sedatencas, nnd his display of extreme neatness, his exqulsltenes In nil things, form a subtle and suru tickler for anybody's Inugh spot. It beats the runniest man tho stage can show. A t'ltinpliirent View. From the Chicago News: Jennie, aged 4, had been poking at the grate fire and burned a hole In her dress. "You must not do that. Jennie," said her mother, "or you'll catch flro and burn up, and there will be nothing IcR or you but u little pile or ushes. Then what would niaminn do?" "Oh." replied Jennie, "I suppose you would call Riidget and tell her to sweep up the ashes." Ilreil. "Won't they let you atop nt out boarding-house any more?" asked the Circassian. "No," answered tho living skeleton. "It Ibn't my rault, either. The last time I was there ono or tho boarders told the landlady I looked Ilk he felt after one of her breakfasts," , J HOUSEKEEPERS' ALPHABET. Ants Scatter branches of sweet fern where they congrognto. Rrooms Hang In cellar-way to keep pliant nnd soft. Coffee Keep securoly covered, as its odor affects other articles. Dish Of hot water in oven pre vents cako from scorching. Flour Keep cool, dry and closely covered. Glass Clean with tablespoonful of ammonia In quart of rainwater. Herbs Gather on a dry day when beginning to blossom. Keep in paper sack. Ink stains Immediately saturate with milk; rub vigorously with a cloth. Jars To prevent, remember it takes two to mnko a quarrel. Keep An nccount or your expendl. turos and Income Lovo Lightens labor. Money Count carerully when you receive your change. Nutmegs Alvvuya grato blossom ond first. Orunges Keep best wrapped In soft paper. Parsnips Aro best In March and April. Keep In ground till spring. Quicksilver And white of egg de stroys bed-bugs. Rico Should bo largo, plump and white. Old rlco may havo insects. Scalds And light burnt?: dress with whlto of an egg to keep out tho air. Tnblo napkins Should never be starched. Use A cement of ashes, salt and water for cracks in stove. Variety Is tho best culinary spice. Watch Your back yard for dirt and bones. Xnntlppo Was a scold; don't lmi-t tate her. Youth Is beat preserved by cheer fulness. Zluc Lined or Iron sinks aro better than w;oden ones. f:l M E Mil m m s M J 7 CI