Si ii THE ltED CLOUD CHIEF: RED CLOUD, NEBRASKA V r 4 i' ii i ! "v BAMBOOZLING ORANDMA. "Thoro novor wo a crandmj half so cooitl" Do whispered whllo bislilo lior chair ho Blood, And laid his roiy cheoit, With manner ery meclc, Acalnst hor dear old faco In lovlni mool "There never was a nicer grandm-i born: I know HOinu llttlo boys must bo lorlom llooiuiothoy'vu none lllto you, I wonder w mt I'd do Without a grandma's kisses nt;ut and morn!" "Tboro never was a dearer crindmi, therol " IIo kissed her and he iimoothod bur snow-while hair; Then fixed hor ruffled cap, Ana ncstlod In hor lap, While uranduio, smiling, rocked ber old arm chair. "When I'm a man what things to you I'll briar, A horso and carruwo. und a watch and rlntf. All itrnndmvt arosonlco (Juit hero ho kltscd hor twice) And grandmas kIvo u good boy orcrytblntf " Uoforo his doar erandma could roply This boy looked up. and with a rotulsU oyo, Then wnlsporcd In hor cur, That nobody mutlit hear. "Say, grandma, havo you any mora mlnco plo!" Tito Fairy Ulnl and the Prliicosn. Tlio Princess Atuarantho had a dove, which she kept in a golden cage and fed and tended alwavB herself, and that wns so tame and loving1 that it would nestle in ber bosom; ana all wondered at her care for tho bird, for none knew that it was a fairy bird and gave tho princess counsel. Now, Prince Timour catno to court to woo tho princess. Ho was lord of bIx castles and one of the handsomest men of his tlmo. Tho princess found herself not ill disposed toward him. "Rut what saynst thou, my dove," said she. "That cruel man will never make a kind husband," answered tho bird, at which tho princess wondered not u little. Hut one day she saw him boating' his hound and turned away saying: "Tliis man shall never be my hus band." Then all tho courtiers exclaimed and tho king, her father, was not a little augry, and Bonding for her said: "Daughter, if thou dost not marry within the year thou raayest ovon shift for thyself. I am weary of keeping' a palaco and a hundred gig gling maids for a foolish wench who i.BT2K,vf.'"hnr right hand from her 'W' JT s not wit enough to accept a3V jj"pv when it Is made to hor." Av80ft tho princess answered never a word, but went away and wept until tho dovo comforted her, saying: "Ho of good cheer. It is better that your father should chldo you onco than your husband always." So six months passed away and there catno a second princo to court, lie was ugly and old, but was master of two kin gdoms and twclvo castles. IIo never rodo without a hundred men-at-arms at his back, and ho changed his dress thrco times a day, and novcr woro tho satno dress twice. He brought tho princess, by way of a present, an ivory chariot, lined with Bitin, a dress of velvet, and a laco veil that It had taken 100 years to em broider. Then, again, tho princess asked counsel of tho dovo. "If you hato him at first sight," an swered tho bird; "how will you hato him when you aro forced to sue him every day?" So said tho princess: "I will notbecomo his wlfo.elthor. " Then tho princo packed up his ivory chariot, and tho laco voll aud tho vel vet dress, in a violent huff, and took himself off; and tho king, hor father, fell into so great a rage that he could not eat his dinner. "Look woll to thyself! Tho year is nearly gbnol" ho cried, "I want no fools about mo that cannot toll on which sido tho'.r broad is buttored. " Tho year passod on till it carao to tho last day, when thoro rodo up to tho palaco gate a handsome young knight, tall and straight as an oak, with oyes as blue as tho princess' own and a voico as sweot as that of a bird; nnd tho princess seolng hlra, said to the dove: "Thisono I love." "Nay, then, tako hlra!" answored tho bird, lint the wholo court was In an up roaw for this'young knight had only hU sweot volco'and his good bword; no men-at-arms and no ivory chariot "If thou tako this man novcr como back to mo," said tho king, "unless thou canst bring a train of 1,000 o c phants laden with treasure with thoo." So they wont away togothor from tho palaco, tho princoss riding bo hind tho knight on his horso; and no one cried good speod; only tho dovo nestled In hor bosom and comforted her n little. And all duy long thoy journeyed through the forest, until thoy camo to a poor llttlo cottage, tho gate of which stood opon. "That Ib our homo," said the knight: nnd, fastening his horso, ho bogan to chop the wood to got tho supper, while tho princess, who had found como flour In a closet, began to raako some bread. "How now?" asked tho dove, "navo you no regrots for tho twelvo otlos, tho Ivory chariot and tho velvet dresses?" "Nol" said tho princess, stoutly; "I havo something that all of thorn can not "ttrlnnr. and that Is loval" i- sV'vdly hnA she spoken tho words, f A tho low, smolcy walls shot up -I ' Into rows of mirrors and columns, and tho beams over their heads grow into noblu nrches, and the iloor bocatno marble, nnd tho knlght'.s poor dress turned to cloth of gold, and the prin cess robe to silver tissue; and about the castle stretched a splendid garden, and at the door stamped nnd trumpot cd a thousand elephant), ladin with silver; while In tho middle of tho room stood a splendid repast, at which tho princoss and her husband sat down. So the princess' wlscom was proven to tho king, her father, who, Blnco ho has seen the thousand elephants Indcn with treasure, is exceedingly fond of talking about hl son-ln-luw. Liberty or lleiitli. A few miles from tho banks of tho Alabama river, about fifty miles abovo tho Gulf coast, in a lovely wooded country, Is n benntlful army post, called after the homo of Wash ington, Mt. Vernon. Several com panies of United States soldiers, with their officers constitute tho garrison. A railroad runs immediately by tho -post, of which it is one of tho stations. Travelers on this road find objects of peculiar interest in seeing thcro the famous Indian chief, Ucronimo, and a part of his band, who a few years ago spread dread and desolation through out Arizona and Now Mexico, and kept detachments of our army in dili gent and dangerous march for them for many months boforo they wero captured. They have sluco then been prisoners at Mt. Vernon. Oeronimo nnd his braves aro now engaged in the peaceful occupation of making bows, arrows and blow-guns, which they sell to tho travelers who stop on their way to see them. A pathetic incident, showing tho Indian's undying love for liberty, recently occurred at Mount Vernon. A young Indian, who had been for thrco years at Carlisle, Pa., after Ids course there was finished, enlisted in the army and was sent to Mount Vernon. His name is Jnmes Ono Star. Perhaps he was over-persuaded to enlist. At any rate, ho did not ap preciate what a Boldlcr's garrison life meant. Aftor a trial of its regularity, monotony and confinement, ho con cluded that it was not tho life for hlra. So ono night ho quietly laid down his gun and slipped away. Following tho north star, ho made his way along tho banks of tho river till he reached an inland town, about a hundred miles nwuy. Thcro curiosi ty or need led him to stop, and thcro ho quickly catno to grief. IIo was arrested and Information of his pres ence was telegraphed to Mt Vernon. During tho interval of n day or two between his arrost and tho arrival of the sergeant sont to tako him to his post, Ono Star reposed behind tho bars of tho city prison, where ho waB the object of much interest to the citizens, and of friendly sympathy when ho gavo his reasons for desert ing. "I was kindly treated," he said, "and woll cared for. I had everything I needed or desired, except liberty. That I could not livo without I wantca to be ireo and go ana como and do as I wished." When asked if ho did not fear pun ishment when he returned to his post, ho said: "No. They will certainly Imprison mc, with all its hardships. Pcrhnps they will shoot me. Uut I don't caro to live without liberty." Poor Ono Star Is now suffering tho penalty of his desertion. Philadelphia Times. The t'urrot'n Joke. Thoro is a parrot in Philadelphia and his name is Jim. He is right up to date so far as tho grasping of opportunities is concerned, and every onco in awhllo ho docs something that serves to keep this impression tirmly fixed in the minds of thoso about him. He gavo ono of his object lessons the other day. Adjoining tho house whom Jim rules supremo Is a coal yard. Thcro aro trestles In It on which tho hump back iron horses push cars laden with black diamonda Tint freight men have a peculiar cry, indicating when to shpot tho cars on tho trestles. It is something like "Wah-Hoo-o- Whoop." Jim's cago was moved to the side of tho house where the conl yard is the other day, and through the window ho heard tho cries of tho trainmen and saw tho cars shoot, Tho cry wasn't in Jim's vocabulary, and ha took to it like a duck docs to water. That night ho began to prac tice on tho vocal signal. Tho imita tion was a llttlo ragged edged at first, but the fostivo bird soon had his vocal chords trained down to tho accompani ment Then ho waited for his chance. It camo the following day. Tho window where his cage was placed had becni put up in order to air the room. Tho coal train came puffing along. Thoro was a little drilling and a section was taken out, part of which was to go on tho trestle of tho coal yard. Then camo Jim's opportunity. Boforo tho two center cars could bo coupled tho mischievous bird inflated his lungs and shrieked "Wah-IIoo-o-Whoop." Tho engineer pulled tho lever and away shot tho uncoupled section on trestle. It was up tho incline beforo half tho force had beon expended and thrco of tho cars jumped tho guard nnd tumbled into tho yard below. Tho trainmen stood aghast with as tonishmont, and Jim why ho just grinned. Wlsi'oin hum tlio Nursery. "Papal" cried llttlo Willie, as tho clock indicated 3 in tho morning. No answer. "Papal" cried Willie again, and again and again. Finally papa got up and walked into tho nursery, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. "Well, what on earth do you want at this hour of thu night?" ho said. "Well, papa," said Wlllio, sitting up in bod, "if Grover Cleveland's first name was Jlmmle, what would his last name be?" -Hurpci's Bazar. A RURAL CAMPAIGN HOW IT IS CONDUCTED IN THE TOWN OF RED HOCK. The Fight for tlio Office of Sheriff Lends to lllclily Seimnttonnl Itu suits Journalism at Smith City Cur rent Humor. HE HON. JAMES It. Smith, mayor o f tho city o f Smith, and candi date for tho oflleo of sheriff, will de liver an address on Saturday nnd Sunday evenings tit the town of Red Rook. He will elucidate tho sil ver question so that a child of 10 can comprehend It Mr. Smith Is too well known In this county to make it neevs Bary to detail his numerous qualifica tions; suffice it to say, 'he is tho right man for the place.' Turn out und hear tho question discussed In his masterly way." Tho above notice, tastefully dis played, occupied nil tho Bpaco on tho first page cf tho Senator, the local pa per. Saturday noon found Smith, Jerky and myself in the town of Red ltock. The first things to nttract our attan tlon were a number of limning posters, setting forth that ono Riley Holt would roply to Smith, and demonstrate tho fact that Smith was not the man tho people wanted for sheriff. The stand had been erected in the center of the town, and within easy distance of a largo saloon. A big crowd had gathered to hear tho dis cussion, nnd wero yelling lustily for Smith and Holt just boforo those two worthies mounted tho stand. James 11. Smith was tho first speaker. "Gentlemen," he said, "I will first call your attention to tho subject of free and unlimited coinngo nt a rntlo of sixteen to ono. Now every man, woman nnd child knows that wo need f rco coinage in our business. The halls of congress aro filled with cries for it, nnd congressmen aro wrestling wuu tuo mighty fact to-day. Tho reason wo want frco coinngo is Is because wo want it, nnd that is tho reason we will have it. Tho reason why wo want it unlimited, is becauso wo want coin. Tho reason why wo want it sixteen to one, is becauso every man present needs sixteen silver dollars whero ho hasn't got ono now. 1 nm boforo you as a enndidato for office. I ask-nt tho hands of tho voters, tho oflleo of sher iff. I am a red-hot candldato and will mnko a red-hot officer, I will " "Allow mo to ask the gentleman what he understands by freo coinage," In terrupted Mr. Holt "What do I understand by free coin ago? I understand that free coinage is Ib frco coinage. Apaches nnd half breeds! what do you understand by it?" roared Smith. "My platform is to do good to tho people, by the people and for thu peo ple," began Mr. Holt, rising from his scat with both hands extended abovo his head. "My platform is frco silver and frco whisky. Every mother's son of you have somo at my expense while ho ex plains frco coinage to tho moon. Como on!" yelled tho mayor, leading tho way to tho saloon. There wns a grand rush. Even Mr. Holt's own .delegation broko llko a band of scared antelope, and followed the crowd. Riley Holt stood with uplifted hands and open mouth, as if turned to stone, as he saw the crowd leave, until I was tho only man left for him to Bpcak to. I stepped back in tho shadow of a trco to see tho next move. "Done upl Dy the Kilkenny catsl Caught like a dod-rottcd sucker! I urn a pilgrim, I am," exclaimed Mr. Holt "Never mind, Riley, I havo a plan that will fix him to-morrow night," 6aid a voico from behind tho stand. "Is that you, Dave?" asked Riley. "You bet, and if I do not even up with that crowd to-morrow night my name isn't anything," he replied. "..Ml right, Davy, my boy! Hero is with you! Now let's go over and make it cost him all wo can." Cries of "Vote for Smith! Ho 1b our man!" "Smith and his frco coinage for ever," were somo of tho confused howls that could be heard abovo tho din in tho saloon. THEIB WAB A OltAND nUSU. I went to tho hotel, which wns as quiet n's a church, and scoured lodg ings. Somo time toward morning I thought I heard tho mayor's voice clamoring for frco coinage, and piti fully pleading for "sixteen to one." "I feel as though I havo had over forty to ope. I tell you, Jim, if this Is a fair samplo of tho campaign I will pull out," Bald a voico I knew to be Jerky's. "I am as tough aa tho aver age, but I ain't made of rubber. If wo have any more scrimmages I am going to use a gun." , 1$ f Jlw"wt Www In the morning I learned that tho meeting hnd untied in a row, nnd an old-tlinor at that (Inns had beon bnrro 1, with till weapons, except baro knuckles. Thu major ntid Holt had met in personal combat, nnd both sides took a hnud. "You ought tcr seen Jerky swipe Dirty Dave and hiu crowd. It wns just benntlful!" exclaimed an eye-witness. I Informed the mayor of what 1 had overheard at tlio stand, but lio said Dave would not lu that night The two leaders parties kept their likely to show up of tho respect I vo rooms until dusk, aud then quietly stolo out, made their way to the tueetlng-place, and mounted thu stand. Thu mayor hnd one cyo that looked half-way decent, but tho other as of no use except for ornament Ills noso und lips were swollen, and hlsfncu was badly discolored. Mr. Holt had both eyes partially closed, and his mouth amis twisted to one side. Ho had to tip back Ills head to look nt thu nmltenco. Mr. fciulth arose, and spoke as fol lows: "Kclloweltlcns: Tlio candidates for sheriff do not loom up much for beauty, especially my friend here, who Is buck ing mo for tho office. In fact, neither of us is In very good shnpo to havo our pictures taken. Last night's discus sion was a rather unsociable affair, nnd 1 am bound to say I nm glnd my wife isn't here. Sho might know mo by my clothes, but that is tho only way. I feel tho disgrace of tho affair, aud I give you iny word ns a man who expects to be shell ft, that tho next nrgument will bo with guns nnd In an honorable way ' At this moment the stand catno down with a crash, nnd nt tho same tttno tho lights wero extinguished. There wero sounds of a sculllo, thu clatter of horses' feet, und then a rush for the stand. When tho lamps wero lighted, tho mayor was gone. n:t.T.ow citizens: tub candidates l-OIl BlimtlFl' DO NOT LOOM VV MUCH roil IIKAUTV, KBPKCIALT.V MY FIUKND iiKiti:, who ib nucKiNO mg ron TUE OFFICP.." "Kidnaped! by tho eternal!" shouted Jerky. "What do you mean?" I asked. "They havo stolen our candldato," repeated Jerky, "and wo will have to pay a good round prico to get him back, or wo will get loft on tho election. Hurry homo, and run off 1,000 hand bills, offering 3100 reward fur informa tion of his whereabouts. Hend it 'Lost!' so that It will uttract atten tion. Then get out an extra issue of tho paper, and pour hot shot Into Itlloy Holt Hy tlio way, you can do it all through thu paper, und savo cost of tho bills. Give it to him hard. Ho member the city backs you." Tho following is tho editorial that appeared in thu next edition of the lo cal paper: While delivering a telling sneoch at Red Rock, Inst night, tho mayor of this city wns actually, abducted from tlio stand whero ho was making tho effort of his life. Tho lights wero put out, nnd thu mayor was taken away on a horse. That sneaking reptilo, Riley Holt, who is his political oppo nont, nnd ono Dirty Dave, who was run out of this city for not changing his clothes since the town site was lo cated, und who is a fit companion for Riley, uro known to bo responsible for tho mayor's disappearance, as thoy were heard forming tho plot after tho first speech of Saturday night, when his honor did the cowardly Riley up so badly that tho crowd left tho grounds beforo Riley hnd said a dozen words. This city offers a reward of 8100 for any information that will lead to the discovery of the mayor, nnd if tho town of Red Rock had not been dead for tho past decade sho would do likewise. In all probability tho editor of tho sheet pub lished in Red Rock will not know of tho rascally ubduction until he receives this paper. Ho is a Holt mail, and is some years behind tho present progres sive era. His skull is thick, und con sequently thero Ib very llttlo room for bruin. Ho is in tho first edition of Darwin, and his correct name is Mon key. If ho can get some ono to read him and his bird Riley, they may get something of nn idea of ita meaning during tho noxt month, and then you will see some charging. The Senator's peoplo aro always at homo, and would drink a quart of mountain Bage-toa for tho pleasuro of a business call from cither or both of tho vermin. We aro Informed that tho red headed lawyer, who, on the Fourth of July, got drunk and .fell out of the stand and broko his arm, and threatened tosuo tho city for damages, is going to tako tho stump for Riley. Ho is n good samplo of Red Rock's lawyers, and his stop will show tho height of Ids aspirations. If .our maypr is not sot at liberty within forty-eight hours after this fiubllcatlon, thero will bo several now loles dug, nnd somo of them will bo filled with dead politicians. Wo mean business. Tlio mayor's wife kicked tho bark off all tho trees in tho front yard, then took her gun, mounted her horso, and started for Red Rock. Tlio town is liable to bo aromed to nctlvity in tho near future. When villainy is so ram pant that a community will steal a candidate for oflleo, and that, too, whllo delivering a speech, tho lino should bo drawn and stealing punished by hanging. W. W. Gaiitnku. FOR HUMAN ANttELS. A FLYINO MACHINE AT LAST WELL PERFECTED. Otto Lllllriithil, A (Irrtimti Inventor, Conies tii the 1'rnnt With Wings fur KTrryltody Its Ittuliler I Like it lllrd's Tall. rC -W rffcllU I'ROIILKM OF )" Hying has been ' fjif .solved, It 1 claimed, f rJr?Mhy rlul1 "dentist In llcrlln, Otto LU llcuthal, who, un dismayed by the failures of thu mm- Ireds who havo pre ceded him in tho same lino or ciiort, has experimented until ho can now claim, apparently with some reason, to hno achieved success. Tlio Lllllenthal theory Is that birds do not cxerclso great power in flying, but keep afloat in tho air by tho par ticular way lu which they manipulate their wings. Reasoning upon thoso lines, a Hying mnclnno has been con structed upon a variety of angles, de signed to catch tho air in whatever di rection it may come, or from whatever quarter. Tho affair is built in almost exact imitation of tho wings of n bnt; tho delicate ribs nnd body nromndcof wil low wood, which is tough but light; tho wings nro covered with light sheeting, nnd when spread they havo a circum ference of twenty smuiro yards. Tho cntiro apparatus weighs forty pounds. Lllllenthal began his trials with tho new Hying machine from tho summit of a turrot which rises forty feet from tho ground. Adjusting the wings ns shown In tho accompanying illustra tion, und seating himself upon tho skeleton body of tho mechanism, which, unfortunately, must bo imagined In tho drawing, ns tho nrtlst has consld- ercditso exceedingly frail as to make It Indistinguishable, the Inventor pushed himself off from the tower top into space, ns ono would push nwuy a boat from tho bank. Working the wings with llttlo ciiort, tho man fluttered through tho ulr, finally reaching a height of 200 feet abovo tho surface, and then descended safely. After this experiment, which satis fied him of tho prnctlblllty of his theory, Mr. Lllllenthal resolved to gradually Increase tho altitude, and for this purposo ho went to tho stoop hill of Rhlnower, near Rathenow, which rises to nn abrupt height of 320 feet, its sldo being a stony cliff almost perpendicular. On tho top of this hill ho built a small tower, making tho en tire dlstanco from tho level 3S0 feet Then ho adjusted his flying apparatus and leaped off. Upon his first trial ho sank perhaps fifty fee(, and then com menced to rlso ngaln until ho hnd reached 1,000 feet, and then gradually floated down, alighting gently upon the road. D Repeating his oxporimonts for sev eral days, ho eventually reached such perfection that he was able to stand still in tho air without moving tho wings. Ho also traveled in circles, steering himself by tho npplianco which will be noticed lu the sketch us a seml-clrculnr attachment, doing tho samo duty as a rudder as that dono by tho tall of a bird. To a moderate degree Mr. Lllllenthal appears now to have accomplished tho aerial movements of tho bird, and it only remains to bo seen whether ho enn sufficiently perfect his system to rlso to great heights, or to remain aloft with tho samo endurance ns do tho creatures designed by naturo for that purposo. Tho scientist's description of the sen sation while sailing through tho air is certainly attractive. He suys that tho feeling of motion is entirely lost, so easy und frco from fatigue is it Tho ubsenco also of any stationary objects, which would indicate movement in tho USasu.' . Hitf ,., TUB FLYINO MACIIINR. human being, gives the sensation that tho earth, instead of tho man himself, Is in motion. Electro-Chemical Kffocts on Magnetis ing Iron In tho proceedings of tho Royal so ciety, Mr. T. Andrews calls attontlon to tho electro-chomlcal effects on mag netising iron. From a long, finely polished rod two steel bars wero cut adjacently, so that they woro prac tically nllko in general composition and structure. Theso bnrs were both weighed, and then immersed in equal quantities of cuprlo chlorido so lution, ono of them having previous ly been magnetized. After a certain time (six to twenty-four hours) thoy wero taken out of tho solution, freed from deposited copper nnd carbonace ous matter, then dried, and again weighed. It was found in every case that tho magnetized bar had lost mora in weight than tho unmagnetized bar. For instanco, an nvcrago of twenty nine experiments showed an increase of corrosion in tho steel duo to mag netic lnfluenco of about 3 pur cent un der tho conditions of experiment It may be mentioned that the bars wero not highly magnetized. Tho oldest railway in Franco runs botween Paris nnd Havre. It was tntilt more than half u century ago. rrXx m w iwi! - V I II I till . L ..VliUll vstt mn " J ill mm 4f'iJksBW7sr Fj CASHIER MAY. Ills Signature Is the nest Knonnlnth World. Tho office of chief cashier of tho Hank of England dates from tho com mencement of the bank's business, in July, 101) I, nnd Mr. F. May, latterly so prominently beforo tho public, is tho thirteenth in order of succession, but he Is ulrcudy the sixth in order of length of oecutmncy of tho position. Of his predecessors the shortest reign wns that of Thomas Kenrlek, tho first chief cashier, who for some reason not now known pcrhnps overwhelmed by his responsibilities retired after only twelve days' service! Tho longest ri'lgim wero thoso of ThomnsMadockcs, forty-ono und throe-fourths years, and of Abraham Nowland, twenty-nine nnd three-fourths years. Tho chief cnshlor may bo regarded almost us a head permanent ofllclnl of a state department, upon whom falls the duty of perpetuating tho traditions of a great and historical institution. Mr. May has been instrumental in in troducing many "loforms, nnd is woll known to bj a stroug supporter of tho policy of adapting, ns far ns Is consist ent with safety, tho proco.luro of tho Dunk of England to tho requirements of modern metho.lsof business. lllsnnmo is known,1 most widely, outsldo tlio bank and tho elty, in con nection with tho issue of Rank of Eng land notca, and an American put la . FBANK MAY. his record of a visit to the bank tho following note: "A well-known New York banker had given mo a letter of introduction to Mr. F. May, cashier of tho bank, whose signature, by tho way, is better know u than that of any other person in tho world, tor on every Dank of England note Is printed a fac simile of his nnmo in his own hand writing; nud I limy say hero, further more, that a Dank of England note is tho safest plcco of paper in tho world. Mr. May received mo courteously. Ha Is rather a good-looking Englishman, with u high forehead, clear eyes, short, thin, curly hair, a firm mouth and somewhat of tho appcarnnes of a stu dent, although ho was a famous oars man in his day und a good all-round cricketer." Wanted to lie Unmarried. A young Polish woman, whoso maid on name is as unpronounceable ns her married name, which is Katerouwsko, appeared at tho Camden city hall this morning and asked City Clerk Varnoy for a divorce. Sho declared that her husband had basely deceived her und that further union with him was a martial impossibility. "How long havo you been married, madnm?" inquired tho clerk. "Slnco yesterday," camo tho answer. "WhatliBB occurred to disturb your nuptial joy?" "Why my husband told mo ho had SI, 000 in bank, owned any quantity of real cst.ato and was going to let me livo in clover. I found on gcttlnghomo that if thcro wns any clover pasture for mo I'd have to find it myself. His stories of bank accounts nro, fables, pure und simple, while the real estate yarn is a hollow mockery." Mrs. Katerouwsko was very indig nant when told slio could not get a dl vorco outsldo tho chancery court, which would not grant such a document for tho reasons dotailed bv her. "Humph!" sho ejaculated as she left tho hall, "it's very funny that the man that married me can't unmarry me."- Philadelphia Evening Dulletln. ScltBtlflo Training. Prof. Von Holmholtz, in a recent ad dress to the students of Columbia col lego in this city, said that tho recog nized method of scientific work now was collection of knowledge, retention of, that knowledge and its communica tion to mankind. Thero has been more accomplished by sclenco during the last two centuries than during 2,000 years previously. Careful observation makes tho artist and makes tho brilliant scientist Trace tho connection between events and, tho laws that govern that connec tion until doing so becomes intuitional. Train the mind so that tho strongest impressions will be made by tho most important events until this also be comes intuitional. Following the ad vice of scientists of the last two centu ries and go on by careful, accurate, complete observations to great discov eries and great successes. Scientific American. ..-..; Whistling Fireworks. Ono o! tho features at tho Crystal palace (London) fireworks display re cently was whistling pieces, which in burning gtvo u wild, screaming noise. Thcro is somo mystery about how this nolso is produced. Messrs. Drock themselves are unable to say, and do not know anybody who can tell them. Tho firework consists, of a stout paper tnbo 2j inches . In length, and with , a boro of ' about H inch. About S inches of this llttlo tubo aro stuffed with plcrato of potash, leaving ) inch or so empty. When lighted by means of a fuse it does not explode, but burns away with great violence, and with tho uncanny shriek which gives theVt thing its interest -Pyrotechnists hays tried many other compositions and, , r many other kinds aud forms of tubes,' ' , bat plcrato of potash is the only thlajf that will give anything but the faint est trace of a whistle. if 4 'ii m ,u B flv fj fr&; &&& M4faW&w&yMWmim g: 1 T . ,,, -,