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THE Mill) CLOUD CIUEF
A. C. HOCrflCR, Publloher.
ItED CLOUD. .... NDiyiASKA
A FRIEND IN NEED.
'Twos n lazy, Jiaiy sort of n diy
A .Sunday In early hcpti.nu:cr
And Parson Pltidur It mis tlut preached
Tl? l. If I rightly u-member.
Outside, hi the meadow's aftermath
Tho liecs dror.ed In iho clover,
Inn "dolio fur iilcnto" sort of way,
Kor tlielr summer's vork vjsotcr.
Inside, tlic lllcs on the window iano
lluzzed In u Mcepy fashion,
Too llstiess to neareli out tho tliln-ualrcd men,
And tenso them Into n piuslon.
The lilRli-t:icl:cd pn In tho old stono ihurch
Wcro hnrdly nnde for dorlnp.
Bttt hero una Ituro tho "plllnrs" rinrped,
Lulled by tho parson's proslnc:
For In drowsy measure his slnir-sons tones
With the hum of tho bees was tilcntlcd,
And old Deacon lladger full fast asleep
Ileforu tho "firstly" wua mded.
From "fourthly" to "llfthly" tho parson went
on,
Ills .steady way pursuit)?,
With "Mti-nthly," "eighthly, brethren," and
then
The "ninthly" was just reviewing,
When n nancy broc70 eamo over the hill
And net tho leaves u-diitirlng,
And tumbled tho clover, then In at tho door
With mischievous tilr emtio prancing.
It brUtli d tho hnlr on tho dp neon's head
1111 It Harmed to bo cutting capers;
It flirted the lenves cf tho hymn-books old,
Next rumpled tho pirson's papers
Then out of the v. h'llow It slipped away,
Bent on more merry confusion
Now the pareon. his "ninthly" out of the way,
Had rc-.icurd ut hint the conclusion.
"Now, finally, brrthri'n"sUnly he spohe,
"Now, llnally, li-nnl-ly oh, dear me,"
To himself ho (.aid, as ho wiped his 'Specs,"
"I Just had that finall-,' near me."
JVloft In the gallery, demuronnd prim,
Sat little I'atty Carson;
Not n word of the sermon had she missed,
Or,a gesture of the pirsoti.
Utttnow hhc half rose mid leaned o'er tho rail.
Her cjes on him anxiously beiidln?.
As he sean hed In vain for tLe mlsMtix link,
lletween tho ly's nnd the otiulii,',
As ho stopped perplexed In n htgh-cracltcd
voice
She must either help or hinder
"Your 'lltiall)', brethren.' juraon," iho cried,
"Has Just bloAnout of tho winder."
Elizabeth I'llnt Wade, luGoodllouackecplnt;.
rp
THE EDITOJI.
How Ho Waa Entortnlnod in a
Modost Homo.
Noll and I were orphans nnd lived
with our brother Tom. Tom was an
orphan, too, of course, bttt then malo
orphans arc never the recipients of
sympathy and motherly advice from
every dear old ludy in tho neighborhood,
bo that by and by they really forget
that they are orphans.
Tom was twenty, and ho kept u sta
tionery shop, and wo lived in four
fiinull rooms in tho rear of tho shop.
This was in ouo of the new towns that
eprlng tip in a night on Pugct sound,
nnd although thu town itself was rough,
bustling and noisy, wo wcro very hap
py there, for our rooms were within a
hundred yards of the opaline waters,
and tho shore sloped to them, green as
emeralds the whole winter thiough.
Nell assisted Tom in the shop, and T,
besides being housekeeper, contributed
to several magazines, which helped
wonderfully in tho way of now gowns,
gloves, bonnets and all tho dainty things
which delighted our souls.
Wo were quite the noisiest and most
harum-scarum household you can im
agine. As I have said, we had only
four rooms. In one of these Tom slum
bered tho dreamy hours away nightly,
nnd 1. was "tho meanest, darkest,
binothorlest room in the whole she
bang," Tom was given to declaring
each time ho entered it on slumber
bent. Then there was u room wherein
Nell and I slept, and from whoso win
dow wo could scu at dawn dear, white
Mount linker towering into the prim
roso sky. Then tho kitchen, unU lastly
tho parlor, which Nell called tho draw-iug-room,
and which also served as
dining-room. Hoiwecn tho parlor and
tho shop was n tiny cubby hole of a
room, about six feet square and dark as
a dungeon, in which Tom kept surplus
stock, und in which wo likewise smug
gled away sundry btigs from tho green
grocer's, trusting to "tho friendly dark
ness to conceal them from tho inquisi
tive eyes of our visitors.
Onr parlor was u thing having onwo
been scon to bo remembered. It was
eleven foot wide and sixteen foot long,
and in it were one stove, one organ, ono
sowing muchino (wo made our own
gowns), ono three-ply carpot, ono big,
black dog (by tho uatno of .Toff, who
was a fixture and thu object of our de
voted affections), ono dictionary nnd
stand, ono walnut table, four chairs
(more or loss broken), one trunk (de
ceptively crctonned nnd cushioned tip
to allure unsuspecting guests into the
rashness of sitting upon it), ono book
case, some pictures, and, nhis! that I
must chronicle it of a parlor! a bureau!
"A renlly and truly bureau in a par
lor," as n little girl said once, to the
hysterical mirth of ourselves nnd ,tho
speechless mortification of her mother,
who had brought her to call. How
over, tho size or lack of slzo of our
bed chamber forbade the introduction
of u bureau, bo into tho parlor it wont.
One autumn evening Tom wus in tho
shop, und Nell and 1 wcro making our
selves very comfortable in the parlor,
tipped back In our rocking chairs, with
cups of chocolate In our hands, and our
feet on tho low nickel rod that encom
passed tho stove. 'a had been sow
ing, nnd tho room wns in tho wildest
disorder. Thu muchino was in tint cen
ter of tho floor, its box wus upside
down, tho bureau was littered with
yards and yurda of embroidery, spools,
scissors, tape-lines and buttons; there
woro piles on plies of muslin uncut,
and doens of muslin garments in vari
ous degrees of "cut, basted und sowed"
all over thu floor, chairs, organ and
trunk.
"Wo'll have, our chocolate," Nell had
said, "and then wo'll have n cl'nv'n'-iip
spoilt
Jlut suddonly wo heard tho shop door
open, antl then a gont'oman's. voice,
tho kind of voico wo did not hear fre
quently iu thut rough town. It was
low, quiet, courteous. In another mo
ment ho hud Introduced himself to Tom
as "Mr. Everett, of the 'South African
Iloviow.'" 1 waited to hoar no more.
I leaped to my foot, overturning tho
footstool and tho dog with a dreadful
racket; tho smile tmd thu chocolato
froze on my lips; my heart jumnod into
mp throat, and thumped there so fast I
could searcoly breathe.
1 had contributed regulnrly for some
ttmo to the ".South African ltovlow,"
uud my eorrospoudctu'o with tho editor
had grown very friendly, Indeed, but
never, never, In my wlk'est Imaginings
had I foreseen such a catastrophe, Null
suggested afterward, as this.
1 cast a glance of frenzied, but speech
less, appeal at Nell. She nodded, pale
us a ghost. Slits had heard, too.
"Cl'ar up," she whispered, briefly,
and then bho began to laugh, noiseless,
ly nnd hystctically. I thought this
downright mean of her, hut 1 didn't
have time to retnonstvate. I heard
Toni tell our guest in u vciy loud tone
for our bencllt that ho would show
him in just as soon as he had finished a
little matter then claiming his attention
In the shop. This wns to give us time,
(Sod bless hltnl Antl wo improved It,
Tho way wo did set chairs to their
right-abouts nnd jam things Into those
bureau drawers! Nell got hold of the
muslin and struggled to get It into the
trunk, but there wns too much of it.
"Put it behind the trunk." 1 gasped,
and, us she obeyed, 1 added: "There's
one consolation. He can't hear us, be
cause he's as deaf us anything; he. told
me himself."
"Well, that is bUs," responded Nell,
lapsing into slung in her agitation.
We hud barely begun to get things to
rights, it seemed, however, when wo
heard them coming, and with hopeless
glances into the mirror we sank into
our chairs.
Tom pushed aside tho portiere and
walked lu, followed by a tall and fine
looking gentleman. With u terrible
"lloo-woo-woo!" In the voice of a lion,
.TefT leaped from his owlt individual
corner and tniide a rush tit our guest,
and as tho latter was just in thu act of
taking a step, tho dog, moro astonished
than any of us, went straight between
the South African ankles and flound
ered against tho wall. An the. gentle
man recovered his equilibrium and his
self-possession, Tom lamely introduced
him.
"Speak louder, Tom," said I, conceal
ing tho motion of my lips behind my
kerchief. "He is awfully deaf; he told
me himself."
"Is that so?" said Tom; und then he
fnirly shouted the introduction.
Nell came forward looking as cool
and sweet us a lily and gave him her
hand, telling him how i cully glad she
was to welcome him,
"O fudgcl" said Tom. limiting u wry
faco at her over Mr. Everett's shoulder;
"if ho's deuf that's all Wreck to him.
Spcnk up, my littlo man."
For one dreadful momunt I thought
Nell was going into ono of her convul
sions of luttghter, but she pulled her
self together nnd presented me.
"So this is our little contributor,"
said he, taking my hand uud looking at
mo with kind but umused eyes. I
shouted out "yes," but ns that sounded
rather flat, and hcnrlng Tom giggle In
the background, I limply subsided.
"Havo n chair?" cried Noll, her voice
rising to a littlo squeak as she proffered
the best und really safest chair iu the
house. To our consternation, however,
he showed a preference for it guileless
looking chair that wns at heart one of
base deception.
"(treat guns!" ejaculated Tom, lu a
tono of exaggerated emotion, while wo
all stood shivering iu agonircd sus
pense. "It's tho chair with tho broken
leg!"
llcfore our guest could boat himself j
however, Nell had u huppy inspiration.
"Do, do take off your overcoat!" sho
cried, and then in n rapid nstdo to me;
"And Knte, do substitute another chair
while I'm talking sweet to him! Tom,
take his coat."
For ono instant I thought a flush of
uncontrollable mirth swept uovoss Mr,
Everett's face, almost as if ho had
hoard. Hut a second glance nssured
mo of my mistake, for Ills expression
wns sphinx-like.
"Now, that I have his coat," put In
Tom, with cold irony, while I deftly
changed tho chairs, "what shall I do
with it? Toss it on tho trunk?"
"Heaven! No!" said 1, sternly. "Put
it out in tho in the"
"Cubby-hole," suggested Nell, giving
us a brief, innocent glance, nnd then
adroitly continued her conversation
with Mr. Everett.
"Suro enough," said Tom, giggling us
ho went out, "I'll put it on tho bag of
potatoes. He'll think wit havo a hun-dred-dollur
hut ruck concealed in thu
darkness."
Tom, I may bay right here, was in
his element. A guest who was denf,
and two sisters who had been caught
in a droit d ful plight! What more could
tho Imp ask? lie took the tide at thu
flood, too. He came back and sentcd
himself in the shadow so he could lira
funny rcmnrks ut us without thu motion
of hiu lips being observed bv Mr. Ever
ett. Noll behaved like an ungel. She sat
quite close to our guest, and cniTlodon
with him an nnimntod conversation in
a clear, high, tlutcliko tone, which
beemed to curry every word to him dis
tinctly, us ho did not hesitate once in
his replies.
Suddenly my alert oar heard some
thing dropping, or to bo moro nccurute,
running, Noll gave mo a startled, mys
tified glance.
"My gunsl'V'juculated Tom, in a tono
of fairly diabolical mirth. "Von hid your
chocolato cup on tho organ, didn't yon?
Well, Miss Ilrillinncy, it's upset, and
it's meandering down right into his
silk hat!"
We would havo been moro than
human could wo havo kept our horrified
eyes away from tho fatal spot. I oven
thought poor Mr. Everett gave n
startled glance toward the floor, hut, of
I'lini-M". 1 must lutvu been uiiktiikun.
. v .. -- .-- ....
, Tho unfortuuiito man hud deposited his
1 hat, with sublime- trust iu its t,afuty
worthy i nobler object, behind him.
Tho chocolate was really running, not
Into it, but so close to it that wo know
it would bo dreadfully spattered.
Nell was in the mld'dlo of n sentence,
but sho broke down flatly with: "So
Hint a" hhe repeated, absently.
"So-that a " mimicked Tom, at
whtch 1 laughed, weakly und helplessly.
Nell gave hintboth of us, in fact n
furious gluttcc, nnd returned to her
ehurgc.
All this time. Mr. Everett had be
htived admirably, lie must have M
served our hysterical nurvousnm, but
1 presume he uttrlbutcd it to tho dlro
confusion and disorder of our surround
ings. When ho arose to take bin departure
Nell put her kerchief to her lips with t
shameless pretense ut coughing she,
who had the strongest hurr in tho
family, und said, rapidly: "For Heav
en's yake, Kate, pick up his hat nnd
wipe the chocolate off before he sees
It." Then louder: "I tun so sorry wo
did not know you were coming, so wo
could Imvo uindo your visit pleasanto?'
"lty jingo." said Tom, making :i dash
for tho enbbyholc. ""'hat rpfSinds
mo I'd hotter be getting his coat boforo
he investigates and finds: it between tho
potatoes und tho eoal-oil can! My!"
ho ejaculated, snlfllng exaggeratedly,
nshe returned with it, "it Ruiolla of
coal-oil!"
"lty the way," said Mr. Everett,
turn.tu,ir to tno kindly, "hero Is n letter
for you from my hi other, which I
should have given you before. I, shall,
tell him how greatly I enjoyed my
call." "And ns he bowed himself out
there dawned upon his fnoo a slotv
smllu of such intense and Uncontrol
lable amusement that it Hindu tun feel
us If tin icy bund wns clutching my
heart. Wo nil stood trunslixed until
wo heard tho door close behind hltn.
Then
"His brother,' exclaimed Nell, In a
low, toniblo tone.-" "WruUhud girll
Who Is his brother?"
"I don't kiiou," 1 faltered, almost iu
tears, touring open tho Inlltir.
"Ten ta one." said Tom,' strutting
around with his thumbs in his' button
holes, "it's u proposal of marriage."
"Or a hundred-dolliir check for that
last' story," sal.l Noll, laughing
nervously.
They eamo behind mo and looked
over niy shoulder, all retidlu;; together.
It was not a proposal of marriage, but
It was u chock tin effectual ono to
our spirits.
My UttAit Miss Onxr.: We hue Ions desired
to mal.o 'our uaiualntnnco. und. ns ono of ui
must fit to your tow u on business! shall let my
brother havo that pleasure", denj Ing myself bo
cause lnm so deaf ns I hau told you that
you would Und conversation with mo em
barrasxIiiR. Sfy brother Is so fortunate to en
Joy perfect htarlnff. I nm sure you wilt hltu
him. ulthoush I bollevo I hao tiocr mentioned
him to you. lie U tusocUid editor cf tho lto
vlow. I RCl
Yours ery sincerely,
IlL'Olt A. KVKItKTT.
For a moment that boomed a year
there was deadly silence. Then I be
gan to sob childishly, and Nell 1 re
grot to bo compelled to tell it Nell
went into regular hysterics of mirth,
;ind laughed and cried alternately.
Nor did she entlroly recover for weeks,
but would go into convulsions of merri
ment ut tho mem remembrance, of that
evening. Tom neither laughed nor
cried. Ho just sat down oa
tho edge of tho organ stool and
twisted his faint presentment of n
mustucho and swung hhi long lugs to
and fro nnd reflected. When his
thoughts had hud timo to travel down
to tho bag of potatoes and tho coal oil
can, I imagine he concluded that ho
could reflect moro clearly If alone, for
hu arose silently and stole into tho
store, nor did so much as n murmur
emerge from him during the remainder
of-tho evening. It was tho first and
last time in my life that I over saw
Tom completely squelched. Ellu HIg
gfu.son, in Ladies' Homo Journal.
"ROB ROY" MACQREGOR.
X Short lllosraplilcul Skotrh of a Late
j:iii;IU1i Writer.
Mr. John MnctJrogor, better known
ns "llob Iloy" MucUrcgor, who died ut
his residence, Lochiul, lloscombe,
Uournemotith, lately, was tho eldest
son of tho Into (hit). Sir Duncan Mue
(Jregor, K.' C. B. Ho was born nt
(liavescnd, January 'J4, 1S'25, and u few
weeks ufter his birth, his parents, with
their infant son, embarked on board
thu Kent, East ludlamau, which after
ward took fire in tho liny of lUscuy.
Young Mnetlregor was educated nt
King's school, Canterbury, and nt sev
en other bchools, In consuquenco of tho
frequunt removals of his father's regi
ment. Later ho wns sunt to Trinity
college, Dublin, and uftorwnrd to Trin
ity college, Cambridge, whoro ho grad
uated as It. A. und a wrangler In
181.1 .Mr. MacOrcgorwrote and sketched
for "Punch," nnd during tho revolution
of 1S-J!? lie visited Paris. Two years
later ho ntude u tour through Europe
and the Levant, and also visited Egypt
and Palestine. On his return in 1851
he- was called to the bur, ltcltig of a
restless disposition, however, ho soon
left for Uussia, visiting likewise every
other country lu Europo, as well as
Algeria and Tunis, nnd subsequently
tho United States and Canada. Ho pub
lished an Ititotvsllng account of his
wanderings. In I WW ho undertook his
llo,t etinoe voyage, and in tho ensuing
year his memorable log-book appeared,
under tho title of "A Thousand Milos
in tho Hob Hoy Canoe on tho IJlvers and
Lakes of Europe." This work pnbsod
through thirteen editions In loss than
twenty years. It was succeeded by
vurlous otljer accounts of ennoo voy
ages, all of which enjoyed considera
ble popularity. Mr. Mucfiregor was
twice elected a member of tho London
bchool board, for the division of (Ircon
wioli; und ho acted ns chairman of tho
industrial schools committee, rendering
slgnnl borvieo in that capacity. His
leisuro ho employed in contributing
articles on murlno propulsion and other
subjects to tho reports of tho Uritish
association, und ho worked on the com
mittees for erecting various memorial
stntucs to public men. Ho murricd iu
1ST:; a daughter of Admiral Sir Itichnrd
Cuflln. K. C. 15. Mr, Miie.Orcgor had
been In falling health for homo tltno bc
foro his death, and In consequenoo bot
tled a few years ngo at, llourni mouth,
London Times. .
FLOODS ON THE AMAZON.
Thousands of Sfjunre MHps Annually Sub.
nirrKcd, Only T.ntl Trws llrlinr Vlslbto.
The worst Inundations of Louisiana
nnd custom Arkansas nro but spring
ircsnots compared With the monster
Hoods that visit the Amnion valley
every year with .i regularity equaled
only by tutronomlciil events and tax
collections. Tho rainfall of northern
llrazll Isnlnutthroo times that of tho
wob-footlesteountlus of Oregon, and In
midsummer the thunder showers that
drench thu woods every afternoon re
semble tv dully cloudburst,
It-ilns of that Borturo npt to occur day
nftor day for it series of weeks, nnd
thoh-effect on tho lowlands can bo only
Imperfectly Indicated by the faut Unit
the Atii:i.ou river drains an area of more
than two million squaiv miles. Tho
Mississippi, too, drains half tho o.istrn
slope of tieountry hirgor titan llr.ull,
but Its Hrjrost atlluonts 'ire dwarfed by
th.i thlrd-eliHs tributaries of Iho S.iutii
Auiorl'.fi fithorof w.ttjr.s. Not such
Howl i j htkv-'s only as tho Ulo Negro and
thr M , l0-,i, but thu Ptirus, tho Vav u-l,
the (j tritt, tho lllngo, the Pup.ijos and
dozen of othorsttv inn r.iroly m 'tttiiiiiod
on this side of tlu Isthmus, enter tho
m iln rlvor through a tlult i miles lit
width an 1 tbop enottgh for the largest
rlvor stoimori of tho St liwruti'o.
About tin mlddto of miutmor these
streams bogln t' rUo, thorns from tho
sout'iwost first, th no from OiounrtH
west nnd north n fuw weeks later and
iv fortnight ufter the arrival of tho sec
ond supplement tho valley of the Anri
zon bv)comou piw.idlsuof swamp-loving
brut-s. The tapir, tho poccarl, tho fish
otter, calebrato tho plunU season of
tholr summer life, und herds of wild
door bogln their westward exodus.
Near Monte Holra, In the province (now
"t.ite") of Mtitto Frntio, thu woods in
midsummer got full of g.vtuo, us u hun
dred years ngo thn foothills of tho
u.tuthurn Allaghnnlos swarmed with
wild pigeons when the forests tit the
north were burled In huow. A more
th in usually midden rlsu of tho Hood
cuts off ninny of those fugitives, who
are thus reduced to tho nlternatlvo ol
miking for tho hlghsst uccosdblo
ground further east, till every knoll be
comes tv hill of refuge, crowded with
timid brutes, whoso survival depends
on tholr csoapu from the giant cuts und
boas who tuny approach their strong
hold by swimming if tho water should
have submurged too largo u portion of
the continuous forost.
About two months after tho begin
ning of the rainy season the deluge of
tho lowlands reaches its maximum.
ThouMinds of square miles are sul
inergcd so effectually that ealioos can
bo paddled through forests apparently
free from underbrush, since only tho
lullor trees, with their network of
climbing vinos, r'.sj like Islands nbovo
tho surging waters. Thtsswollen rivers
have found now currents, and btwul,
gurgling streams twist and eddy
through tho leafy wilderness, tearing
off wholo groups of trees with ull their
roots, but making amends by depositing
hillocks of driftwood, which soon got
covered with tufts of now vegetation.
The pressure of tho surging Hood against
thesu mounds of alluvium soon becomes
enormous, but the deep-rooted stoms of
thotvbansot.laand thu ennohn trco may
resist till new deposits of driftwood en
soHdaou number of mounds, thus form
ing good-sized islands, with a down
stream base of perhaps half a mllo, but
a narrow head dellectlng tho curront
loft and right, like tho wodgo-ahapod
front of a stout bridge pier.
The eliinblng talent of the groat eat
saves them tho trouble of emigration.
The jaguar and thu ocelot bconmu cn
tlrsly nboroul, traveling llko monkeys
from branch to brunch, and milking
themselves nt homo iu tho tree-tops; so
much so, indeed, thut somu of them go
to housekeeping and raise tv litter of
cubs In tho cavity of a hollow true.
A swimming deer in thesu submorged
tangle woods has no ehanco at till
against the pursuit of an enemy thut
can leap from branch to branch or
climb along tho viadttet-llko cables of
the great liana vines, nnd n juguar
would not begin toregrotaphonomonnl
deluge till tho waters had closed over
the tops of tho tallest palms.
Tho Uruzlliun aut boar survives tho
rainy season In a poouliar way of his
own. His favorite hunting grounds,
thu big aut hills of tho underbrush, are
soaking under twenty feet of water and
trco ants hug tho hooks of their dens
during tho soason of constant showers.
In splto of his big claws tholr enemy Is
not prepared to rip big troos In quost of
his food and his proficiency In climbing
cannot compare with that of thu big
eats, but his talent for long fusts is un
rivaled, oven In this era of Tanner
rcaks. Ono drink pur week will do
im for a period of ton or twolvo weeks,
during which ho husbands his vital re
sources, on the principal of minimum
expenditure. With his bush tall colled
nbuut his nook, hu dozes away tho rainy
dny under tho roof of a fallen tree, while
his physical torpor is not apt to bo off
sot by an excess of niontul uetlvlty.
It 1ms boon ussoi'tcd that an unt
bear's forelegs are powerful enough to
hug a p mthur to death, but It Is proba
bio that ti jaguur could break his bend
at tho first blow, and at all ovonts tho
tyrant of the Ilrazlllan forests mast
find It much harder to copo with tho
agility of the treo-climblng monkoys.
In diiytlmu thoyeludo ttio pursuit so
easily that thoy will flulsh a good mc.il
of wild grupo before, tlolgnjng to no
tlcu, his approach, and In tho exuber
ance, of his contldonca thq ring-tailed
Capuchin mnnkoy will often turn upon
this would-bo murderer and follow Iilm
for hours with jeers ami whoops of do
fiance. San Francisco Chronicle.
An Important Hrum-fi.
Udnker I thought your son, after
rraduntlng frrr.-i college, was going
right into businoss, but I hour now that
ho Is to ttiko u post graduate uonrso.'
Illy Yes; wo thought it uj'cosviry.
llunker-What Is 'hu going to study?
Hill Ho's (rolriff to loarn -how to
npsll. Life.
ouitu I'roit.iiiio.
Tunson What Is tho motto of tho
city nt Chicago?
lluMhall I nm not sum, but I think
it Is, "It's tv poor wind that blows no
boJ gOfjd." Puclc
POLYGLOT CHINA.
rnrls Not (leurrnlly Known I'onrornlnj;
tho Spoeoh or Thnt (front Umpire.
It Is true that tho Inhabitants of
Pekln, Clinton, Shanghai, Futwa, and
Amoy speak Chinese. Hut us to othor
parts of tho country, It Is also truo that
tv citizen of tho places named cannot
understand tho Inhabitants tiny moro
easily than can a llerllner nn English
man, or a Parisian a Dutchman. Thus
tho position of tho Chtntvmnu In his
own country, wltero various so-cnllad
dialects nro spokon, Is rather peotilliir.
Tho Chinese dialects havo nothing In
common with tho patois, or conversational-
forms of language. Thoy nro
used by tho highest and lowest classes,
thosavantsntiduucducatoil, tho olllohvls
und the coolies. Tho dluloot Is a lan
guage by itself. Tho various dialect
forms. It is true, are reluted to ono nn
other In somewhat tho samo mnntior ns
tho Arable to tho Hebrew, Syrian, and
other Semitic tongues, or (Ionium to
English, Dutch, Danish, Swedish, eto.
Ifltlu necessary to clnsslfy the nu
merous dialects thoy may be divided
Into the Cun ton, llakkit, Amoy, Swatow,
Shanghai, Nlngho, tho Halimneso nnd
tho Mandarin. Tho youngest of thesu
dialects Is tho Mundarln. Mandarin,
contrary to thu general impression, Is
not tho universal language of Chlntv.
Tho Canton tongue, resembles tho an
cient Chlneso spoken il.OOO years ngo
more closely than tho Mandarin. Thu
llakka shows ulao traces of great
antiquity. It Is much older than tho
Mandnrin; almost equalling In point of
ago tho Canton tongitu or Cantonese.
Tho stitno thing may be said of tho
Swatow, Amoy nnd Shanghai dlalcots.
In goneral wo may say that thu lan
guages spoken In southeastern China
show traces of tho ancient Chlneso .
tongue, while the Mandarin tongue Is
modem. I
"In nddltlon to these main divisions,"
continues the article, "there nro many
other quasl-dlaleets, spoken lu sonui
Instances by thousands of pjople. Hut
tho sumo word forms, or dialects, tiro
not used by ull persons In n single dis
trict, although the districts civic di
visions as n rule are much smaller
Until those iu tho countries of western
Europe. People distant from ono an
other only a few miles often use totally )
uiiioreui iiiaieci. torms. in some ot mo
larger cities, such as Canton, with
moro than 1,000,(100 Inhabitants, one
often finds several dialect forms In use.
Tho variations In the Chinese tongue ,
nro so great, Indeed, that It is not too
much to say that there are as many dia
lect forms In tho Flowery Kingdom ns
days in tho year.
"The most widely spread language Is
tho Mandarin. It is used In ono form
or another In fourteen or fifteen of tho
nineteen provinces composing China.
There are also northern and southern
Mandarin tongues. The best northern
Mandarin dialect is spoken In Pekln,
whllo tho best southern Mandnrin la
spoken in Nankin. A third marked
form of thu samo tonguo Is used In
west China, especially in Tsion-Klang.
Peoplo who Hpeak tho various Mandarin
dlalocts, however, can understand one
another readily. If wu estlmnto tho
population of China at 300,000,000 of
people, at least 1100,000,000 tiso the Man
darin tongue. All persons, from what
ever part of China, who desire to enter
political or olllclal life learn this
tonguo.
"Tho other Chlneso languages uro
spoken by comparative small numbors
of people. About !i0,000,000, for In
stance, speak Cantonese in ono form or
another. It Is used iu the grcctor part
of the provlnco of Quang-Tong. About
ono-third of tho pooplo of this province
uso tho Ilukku tonguo. In its north
eastern part tho Swataw dialcot is ulso
heard. Cuntonoso Is also spoken In thu
ICuangsl province. Thero are not so
many dtalootlo forms of tho Ilukku
tongue as of tho Cuutoncsu. Passing
up tho coast we find about 11,000,000
peoplo speaking Swatow. In all proba
bility 0,000,000 Chinese uso' tho Amoy
dialcot, which resumblcs Swntow about
as closoly ns Portuguese resembles
Spanish. Still furthor up tho coast wo
find tho Futwtv dialect It is used in a
district about ISO miles long nnd 1100
miles broad, containing u population of
.1,000,000. This country is for the most
part mountainous, Tho dialects of
Nlngho and Shunghai, although only a
few milos apart, differ greatly. The
Hninaueso Is spoken by the peoplo of
Hainan. It Is related to tho Amoy and
Swatow dlalocts, slightly resembling
the Japanese nnd Is spokon by about
11,000,000 peoplo. Thu inhabitants of
about Lutshu, between Japan and
Formosa, ulso speak Hulnunn.se.
"Tho Introduction of n uniform lan
guage in China Is only a dream. Two
hundred years ago tho emperor Kang-hl
founded sohools In tho vurlous parts of
thu empire in tho hopu of accomplishing
that end, but the result was disappoint
ing. It may be accomplished in tho
future when railroads in vurlous parts
of tho country bring tho pooplo, closer
together. Centuries will pass by bo
foro that tltno, howovor. Tho
M andurln tonguo, if any, will become
tho universal ono iu China. Ostaslu
tlschor Lloyd.
Hurcusi as m Noldtor.
Great as Is tho store Lord Wolsoloy
sots upon courage, ho thinks that norvo
Is fur moro important when tv tuiiu Is
under fire. It is, indeed, the ono thing
needful, "You look forward," ho suys,
'with ovgornoss to sou what tv battle is
llko. Norvo norvo Is tho great thing
needed. Tho wlso men who haven't
got It give up; tho fools stay on and
como to grief. Your soldlor may havo
spirit and enthusiasm, but norvo boats
evory thing else. Spirit is not much uso
when death is in tho air, enthusiasm of
littlo avail when builots tiro whittling
nbotit and trying to pick you out from
amongst all the othor. Norvo, nothing
but norvo, tells In tho long run." The
bust way to got on in tho army Is to do
your bust to get killed. That, Bald
Lord Wolsoloy, Is "tho only way,"
"There Is only ono way for ft young
man to get on In tho army. Ho must
try and got killed in uvory way ho pos
sibly can. lie must bo tvhsolutaly in
different to life. If hu dot's not succeed
in gutting killed ho is bound to got on
that h, ulwuyr. assuming ho has tho
intelligence und tho liibthmlu of u wl
dlur." sJlilcJijo lutor Oooan,
fireside: fragments.
-To soften tho hands tako before re
tiring a largo pair of gloves, iqrrWd
mutton tallow nil over tho Insldu oC
them antl all ovor tho hands themselves.
Wear the gloves nil night and wash tho
hands with olive oil and enstllo soap
next morning. Detroit Frco Press.
Hiilloon Mufllni. Tako onoplnfof
Hour, half a pint of water nnd Nhnlf 4
pint of milk; beat thoroughly with an
egg beater; have gem Irons hot, gretvsjs
and fill thotii two-thirds fnll.'.jl.ilto In
u quick oven twenty nilii'iits, -or until
light nnd browned. Use no salt or bkW
ing powdor,-- Hostotv Hudget. , $
A suggestion for thu disposition of
old kid gloves Is that they bo out into
lilts nnd used for stttllliig tho ubiquitous
cushion of tliCi modo.rn honstf comfort
ivblo. The bits should bo qttlto. flue,
similar to tho paper uutUttgs for the
samo purpose, from which Idea doubt
less tho glove notion has boon evolved.
N. Y. Times.
French Toast This Is always tv fa
vorite dish with children, nnd Is matin
of thin hllces cut from n stale loaf, nnd
moistened In tulllc and eggs two eggs
to tv pint ot s'veet milk nnd tlle'n fried
on a griddle with n irilxturo of butter
nnd lurd. It ran bo oaten with sirup or
honey like griddle cakes. Home.
Cream Cnhbtgo. One-half icaeup
fttl enoh of sugar nnd vinetfar, two eggs
ono largo spoonful butter, tv pinch of
milt and a small pinch of cnyenno, stir
well together, pluoo In n double boiler
tmd bring to x boll. Pour over Uie cub
bngo ufter adding half u toauupftil hot
cream, Orange Judd Farmer.
Lemon Jelly. Ono cupful of sugar,
one-half cupful butter, und tho yolks
of three eggs (two whole eggs will do),
nil beaten thoroughly together; ndd tho
juice and grated rind of two ieinniiH,
and place dish In tv kettle of Itolllng
water over the tire, stirring It well un
til thick. Ice Urn nbovo enko with mlllc
frosting and It will bo very nluo.
Housekeeper.
Sout Fait Heat tho yolks of four
eggs to a cream, ndd half u tcnoup of
milk and three tablespoon fills of flour,
bent until smooth, nnd strain; llnvor
with extract of lemon (Dr. Price's Is the
best uud strongest), add the beaten
whites of thu eggs, turn lu tv buttered
puddlng-dlsh, dredge with powdered
sugar and bake In a quick oven ovor
11 f teen minutes. Home.
Screens are bolng used now for a
variety of purposes, the latest idea
lielng to employ ono ns tv writing tablo
and toilet table combined. In the two
corners formed by tho folds of tho
screen uro two tlirco-cornered shelves,
hold In place by moans ot honks. Ono
corner Is fitted up ns a writing pluoo
with various conveniences hung on tho
panels, and the other corner Is arranged
in tho samo way us iv dressing-table
with three small mirrors, one In front
and ono on either side. Nt Y. Trlbuni.
Chlckon Pie. Doll tho chickens Iji
plenty of water until tondur, havlag
previously cut them up In pieces suit
able for serving. Season with salt,
poppor, and butter. Stir in a thickening
of two tnblespnoufuls pf flour, stirred
smooth In cold water. (Let, boll up.
Have roadyadcop dish lined with, a
rich baking powder or a soda blsoult
dough. Pour in tho chlokeu nnd part
of tho gravy, reserving somo to' servo
with It Cover with the biscuit douirh.
carefully pressing down tho edges.
Prick holes In tho top or cut stashes.
Hake until tho crust in well dono.
Housekeeper.
THE MASHER'S DEADLY FOE.
A Typo of a fllrl Thnt U Impnrvlnu to lift
ArU.
Ho wns a mtvshor, and when tho swell
girl got into tho street car,-ho' spotted
her and begun his operations.
Hu looked ut her In evident admira
tion, and in n minute or two had added
a half smile. Soon ho tnudo this a full
smile, quite tender and j fetching, ami
wholly Innocent uud sweet Then ho
gazed ivwhilo fondly, and with a fur
away you'll-loso-mo-lf-you-dont-oateh-on
expression and the girl bjciimu nerv
ous. '"
She tried to conceal her consciousness
but It grow into embarrassment Instead,
and ut last sho was about to leave the
car, when tho lorgnettes sho carried In
iter belt came to her rescue.
Then you should havo seen her. Shu
took them out, openod thorn, brushed
thorn with a dainty handkerchief, sot
thorn on.hor haughty noso nnd turned
upon her enemy. He smiled as boforo,
but only once. Tho steely sturo of those
insatiate Jorgnottos'.had fastened itsolt
upon him. There was no response in
tho in to his wiloi. Thoy were eold, cruel,
tyrnnnlcnl, Invinclblo, irresistible.
Ho squirmed under tholr basilisk
glasslness uud looked out of tho win
dow. Jlutthey followed him.
They crept ove'r his helpless feet,
which seemed to him to extend clear
across tho car; thoy followed slowly up
the faint gray lino of his Hrousorsf they
spread out over his 'cheerful hiicd 'Vest;
they grnspod tho lnppols of his coat
and withered tho rose in his button
hole; thoy dallied with his uowsoyonty-flvo-cent
cravat; thoy moved trlmnpli
tintly around his collar; thoy dappled
their claws in his mustucho; they
tweakod his noso; thoy chilled his eyes;
they rumpled his hnlr; they marohod Ji,
dreadful monotony around his hat, nnd
thou thoy wont slowly to his feet unci
began tholr awful work ovor again.
Hut human endurance has ita limit,
nndns tho torturing lorgnettes, with
the protty glrl eye behind, thorn,
eamo to his faoo once more, he modo a
wild Impulsive dive for thoruar platform
nnd with ono horrified look, over his
shoulder, only to see, thorn calrri nnd
cruel us ovor, ho dashed frontho, car
nnd was lost In tho crowd.
Then tho girl smiled sof tl,y. apd attok
them in her bolt again. Detroit Froo
Press.
i "i .i
flood Air, Hut
Cltlmannr presumo yon find the
country nlr very bracing.
Friend (who has Just inovoil to. tho
suburbs) Too bracing; that's tho, trou
ble. t'i - . ,
''Hurt's your lungs?'',
"No; makus us hungry .and whayq
to como bnuk to thq olty for . uojnsthkijr
tocat-N. Y, Weekly. ,, .
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