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PARAGRAPHIC PLUNDER.
Ah enterprising physician ia Australia
advertises: " I will pj one-half the funeral
expenses in cases where I am not success-
fuL"
A London- attorney recently tendered a
bill in which the last item was thus stated :
"To dining with you after the case was
lost."
A coloued minister prayed the other day
that the indolirato miht h mado .irfinatc
the intemperate temperate and the industri-
ous dnstriniis.
ous dustrious
As Irishman, who was very near-sighted,
about to light a duel, insisted that he should
stand six paces nearer to his antagonist
than the other did to him, and that they
were both to lire at the same time.
A gextlehan- vascomplainingon "Change
that he had invested a rather large sum of
money and lost it all. A sympathetic friend
asked him whether lie hail been a bull or a
bear. To which he replied: "Neither; I
was a jackass."
Ax old lady who does not belicvo in the co
education of the sexes, was rejoiced the
other day to find that althoush the boys and
girls in a largo seminary seemed to be play
ing some sort of game together, the school
authorities had wisely hung a long net be
tween them.
Scexe Table d'hote at fashionable hotel
on Decsidc: bis market day. Farmer of
the old school has dined. Waiter "Fin
ished, sir?" Farmer "Fat's the charge!"
Waiter " Five shillings, please."' Farmer
(startled) "Fivo shillin's! Weel, Tmna1
deen yet." Resumes operations.
There is a woman in St Faul, Minn., who
possesses some handsome diamonds. She
puts them in a box, puts the box in a rag bag,
puts the rag bag on the closet floor, and at
eight puts tho watch-dog in the closet on I
top of the rag ba, locks him in there, and
every night, hides the key in a different
place.
Fastidiocs Epicure (to clumsy waiter)
"If you can bring me a cup of coffee with
out spilling tho coffee into the saucer, I'll
give you sixpence." Exit waiter, and re
enters promptly, carrying tho cup in one
hand and tho saucer in the other. He puts
down first one, then the otUcr, and takes the
coin in silence.
Is attempting to carve a fowl one day a
.gentleman found considerable difficulty in
separating its joints, and exclaimed against
the man who sold hiin an old hen for a
young chicken: "My dear," said the en
raged man's wife, "dont talk so much
about the aged and respectable Mr. B ;
he planted the first field of corn that was
planted in our tovvn." "I know that," said
the husband; "and I believe this hen
scratched it up."
RAILWAY REMARK.
More than a million men are employed by
the various railways in the United States.
Twzxtt inches is said to be the narrow
est gauge of railroad doing regular business
in tho United States
Railways are said to consume more than
half of the world's production of iron, the
10,000,000 car wheels required in the United
States alone taking more than 2,000,000
tons.
Dcbixg the year 1SS7 the total number of
locomotives built in the United States-was
230, the aggregate cost of which is esti
mated at ,000,00a, an average of about
,000 each.
Tulate railroad war in the Northwest
mas cost the companies engaged not less
than $10,000,000, which, It may be assumed,
is a clear present to the trade of that
amount.
Uxoeb the laws of Iowa a railroad pas
senger who sticks his head out of a car
window and has it knocked off by a switch
bar is guilty of misdemeanor, and can be
sent to jail for three months.
Tub railroad mileage of the world is esti
mated as follows: America, 155, X7 miles;
Europe, 121,205 miles; Asia, 13,791 miles;
Australia, 8.015 miles, and that of Africa,
4,285. Germany leads the countries of Eu
rope in mileage.
Taa Consolidated railroad of Connecticut
ia adopted a bell-ringing tell-tale to warn
employes of a bridge. The car-wheels
strike aa automatic fixture on the track
as a bridge is approached, and the warn
:ing is then given tho whole length of the
train.
It is said that railroads in this country
are returning to lemon color for the body
of passenger coaches. The Providence &
Worcester, and the Philadelphia & Read
ing roads aro making the change. Expe
rience shows that yellow outwears any other
-color.
Apatext has been granted for methods
and apparatus to increase the tractive pow
er of locomotives and other'self-propelled
rail vehicles by increasing, electrically, the
frictional adheskm between the driving
wheels and the rails. It is claimed that
the tractive power can thus be nearly
doubled without increasing the weight of
the locomotive, and that sleet and snow dif
ficulties will be overcome. It is claimed
that the friction obtained is cheaper than
sanding without its consequent wear.
PARLOR AND PANTRY.
To remove the screw tops of fruit jars
that can not be started by hand, dip a
cloth in very hot water and apply to the
outside of the cap; this will cause it to ex
pand. Gems fob Dtspeptics One cup gluten
flour, one cup milk, one teaspoonful of bak
lag powder, one tablespoonful or less of
butter. Beat well and bake in hot gem
pans in a quick oven.
The johnny-cake of New England, made
of corn-meal, eggs and flour, thick, light,
warm, and soaked with fresh butter, is a
better nenve food than can be found on the
druggists' shelves.
Paste ron Waix-paper Mix one pound
of flour with cold water, add about five
quarts of boiling water and stir until as
thick as starch. Just before using stir in
half a pint dissolved glue.
Ixdia matting is largely used in summer
rooms. The stains, if any, may be re
moved by a layer of wet fuller's earth, well
rubbed in, and left for a few davs. when it
can be washed off, and the stains will have '
Stcdt tables, desks, etc., covered with
leather, may be restored to very much of
their original freshness by rubbing a little
-vaseline over them with a soft rag. Book
cases with glass doors should be opened
occasionally, as the books are otherwise apt
to CCt damn.
Aix. curtate must have frequent shak
ines. or tho moth millers will be sure to
lodge in their folds. Tho great object is to
Kthemout ef a bouse, fbr when they
nnm locate ana uuw uy - -
onC8..wn3- --ht and onlv force cam
the "squatter's right,'
drive them out,
-,iwrrv icliv use thro pinto of
rlpe strawberries, a box of gelatine, ajptoit
of sugar, one ptatof taj-g I
1""" . ".- slM, nf
mint oi com
of ld water ana '""J-'r;
lemon. jsoaitino8C" !,. with theJ
the cold watea. suu TT22Zim. Pour
B"TrTtan hours. PowrJ"l4TO'eril,?s? XTT
osPJr- - fruit and sugar.
lw.th laieefrooi tho strawbernea ana
? .TLZ t irawberriea and
Idd it andlhe lemon juice to tne V0,
Ctotlne. 'Straia.inrouK" - - - ,
to moulds and hardczu .
WRITERS OF RENOWN.
Gronnn Eliot never get less than forty
thousand dollars for any of her novels,
It is proposed to place a bust of Mr.
Matthew Arnold in Poets' Corner, Weat-
' minister Abbey,
' James Whitcomb Host's first versifying
was a Valentino of four lines, "when," as
ho describes it, "I was just big enough to
1-cac0 iho toP of the table wnere l wrotc-"
' Robert Louis Stevenson was in Chicago
a short time since and was interviewed, of
I course: '-Henry James, without a reser
vation," was Mr. Stevenson's quick reply to
tho question of leadership among American
novelists.
Elizabeth Stcart Phelps, who has been
writing for the public over thirty years, is
i only iorty-four years old. Youth's Com
i panion printed her first story, written when
she was thirteen. She began "Gates
Ajar," hcr-best known book, ia 1SW.
Koeekt Bnowxixo refuses to write for
i magazines, preferring that people who de
sire to read his work should buy his books
rather than find him unexpectedly in tho
pages of a periodical. Ho recently declined
au. offer of ono thousand dollars from a
Boston publisher for a short poem.
Tub new order recently created by the
' Emperor of Austria, called "litteris ct
artibus," and intended as the highest dis
tinction to be conferred upon tho artists
and literary men of the empire, has been
bestowed upon Munkacsy, Mascjko, and a
Bohemian artist, Vasclav Brazik.
One of the highest prices ever paid an
author for a manuscript was that of fifteen
thousand dollars, which Mrs. Augusta
Evans Wilson received from her publishers
for her " Iafclice " before the book went to
prei s. Ucr novels to-day find a more ready
sate in the South than those of any other
author.
A SHORT time ago it did not look as Blanche
Roosevelt, ex-actress and later authoress of
the " Copper Queen," was destined for es
pecial eminence, but her work has suf
ficiently impressed the famous Sardou to
ask her to become his collaborator in writ
ing a play, so that her money-making fame.
at least, is as good as settled.
Mrs. Crawford, the Paris correspondent
of the London Aictcs, is the most noted En
glish woman in journalism. Besides send
ing her daily telegrams to tho 2Veu by
special wire, she writes for tho Pall Mall
Gazette, contributes several columns a week
j to London Truth, and writes weekly corre
spondence for American newspapercs.
Of the original edition of the sonnets of
William Shakespeare, published by Geogre
Daniel, of London, in 1009, there are two
perfect copies. One is in the British muse
um. For the ether 15,000 was paid. It is a
little book about seven by four inches in
size. A somewhat hard-headed clerk figures
that at tho price it cost $1S0 an ounce.
M. Alexander Dcmas, lives by measure
and weight. He rises at C-.30 in the sum
mer and at seven in the winter. His first
breakfast invariably consists of a glass of
milk. The second, which he takes at noon,
is a plain meaL Dinner occurs exactly at
seven, and at ten he is in bed. He walks
three miles every day, and never works
after four p. m.
Miss Amelia Rives, the gifted authoress
of "Virginia," was lately married to John
Armstrong Chandler, a great grandson of
the elder John Jacob Astor. Mr. Chandler
is about five feet ten inches in height, well
budt, and wears a black mustache. He is
somewhat literary in his tastes, and, it is
supposed, was first drawn toward the fair
I authoress by reading her books before he
metner. He has a mansion at Rninebeck-on-the-Hudson,
which was bequeathed to
him by the late William B. Astor.
Ma. Rcskix, it seems, does not like trans
lators and translations. To a foreigner who
mado a civil request for permission to trans
late his works, he wrote a characteristic
reply, the substance of which was: "Let
em alone." His idea is that every nation
has enough good authors to occupy its
thoughts, and that men who waat to under
stand authors outside their owa land would
better learn the language ot the author they
wish to read; then they will not be so likely
to misunderstand him.
CULLED FOR THE CURIOUS.
A Moxtooitert (Ala.) man coughed up a
pin that ho had swallowed forty-sevea
years ago, when a child seven years of age.
"Heroins" is perhaps as peculiar a
word as any in our language. The first
two letters of it are male, the three first
female, tho four first a brave man, and the
whole word a brave woman.
Dowx at Anderson, S. C, they have two
boss curiosities a gourd that holds thir
teen and one-half gallons and a grass that
exudes a gum which will bold any furred or
feathered thing that trios to get over is.
To bushel measure used in England two
hundred years ago weighed eighteen
pounds of themselves, and any one who
walked across tho floor while wheat was
being measured was liable to imprisonment.
Ax old slave has been discovered ia
Jonosboro, Ga., who is one hundred and
eight years old, has been married nine
times and is the father of one hundred and
seventeen children. His name is Nero and
be devotes himself to preaching at eamn
meetings.
Ox the 1st of June, 1844, there was a
frost about Philadelphia which blackened
the corn, and on the 7 th of June that year
a frost in Massachusetts which cut the
corn there. Eighteen hundred and sixteen
is famous for having a frost in every month
of the year.
Spoxqes are marine animals, not fishes,
however. The breeding time is in spring;
tho young sponges swim about for some
time, but finally become fixed to rocks and
grow. The sponges we use are obtained
principally in the Mediterranean Sea and
Bahama Islands.
A xovel letter was received by a guest
at a Cleveland hotel the other dayfrom
New York. It was written on a gentle
man's linen cuff, with the address on the
reverse sido. A one-cent stamp was at
tached, and it arrived at its destination the
same as an ordinary postal card.
A well near the house of a citizen of
Worcester, which tasted strangely all last
winter, was explored recently and a carpet
bag was fished out, containing a miscellane
ous collection of woman's apparel,, a large
quantity of silver spoons and other ware,
a German Bible, bottles of whisky, lauda
num and paregoric, a mult and four hair
brushes.
A Savannah lady went to another lady to
leave some flowers to be placed on the
eravoof afrieadwhodied a fsw da js be
fore. While returning home she was
frightened by a sevcro shock of lightning I
and was stepping into a store to wait for
the storm to pass whon she fell dead. The
Bowers which she carried to- plaea oa the
grave of her friend ;wcre placed upoa aer
own.
j r of Jerow wTth ive
j able appetite. "The animal eats c
A citizen of Marion (la.) township is ths
remark-
' iipciiM;. iqb aninii wtB uvcrjr uh
i that comes within its reach. Already this
PnnBsnenas eaten flvo cats, ana wnen-
v eTCr . mes witain her range of vsnom
' IT ",TLT" !" ?1 TJTT
::.J. Tr! kT1" .4UUX,72T"
( labononninnep iaaUj. ondisnosltion.
Bhe three years aid and has bItMa
psculiaritr over since she was a call.
ERfe
VMACQUAINTED WITH THE GEOGRAPHY OF THE COUNTRY WILL. OBT .:
MUCH USEFUL INFORMATION FROM A STUDY OF THIS MAP Ofr THE
CHICAGO, ROGK. ISLAND & PACIFIC R'Y.
Its central position and clc30 cennecticn with Eastern Lines at Chicago and
continuous lines at t erminal points ''.Vest, Northwest and Southwest, make it the
true mid-link in that transcontinental chain of steel which unites the Atlantic
rid Paciflc Its main line r.nd branches include Chicagc, Joliet, Ottawa, La Salle,
Pecria, Gcncseo, BColine and Rock Island, in Illinois; Davenport, Muscatine,
wasrungton, iairxicia, ottnmwa.Osicaloosa, westUberty.IowaCity,De3Moines.
Tsuianclr., Winterset, Atlantic, Xncsville, Audubon, Harlan, Guthrie Centre
fPHHFBHHBBB and Council T;mTr. in Town.: Gallatin. Trenton. Cunomn.
mtt&
CHOICE OF BOUTES to and from the Pacific Coast and intermediate places,
making all transfers in Union Depots. Fast Trains of fine DAY COACHES,
elegant DINING CABS, magnificent PULLMAN PALACE SLEEPING CABS,
and (between Chicago, St. Joseph, Atchion and Kansas City) restful BECLIN
I27G CHAIR CABS, seats FBEE to holders of through first clas3 tickets.
THE CHICAGO, KANSAS & NEBRASKA R'Y
(CREAT ROCK ISLAND ROUTE)
Extends west and southwest from TTTian city and tit. Joseph to Fairbnry,
Nelson, Horton, Topefca, MBJIHlBPHHB Herington, Hutchinson,
Wichita, Caldwell, and all jl p1 J fd mWM Points in southern Nebraska,
interior Kansas and beyond. SCI k 2 3 1 Entire passenger equipment
of the celebrated Pullman a J W ! M B manufacture. Solidly bal
lasted track of heavy steel OBHMHHI rail. Iron and atone bridges.
All safety appliances and modern improvements. Commodious, well built
stations. Celerity, certaintT, comfort and luxury assured.
THE FAMOUS ALBERT LEA ROUTE
la the favorite between Chicago, Bock Island, Atchison, Kansas City, and Min
neapolis and St Paul. The tourist route to all Northern Summer Besorts. Its
Watertown Branch traverses the most productive lands of the great "wheat and
dairy belt" of Northern Iowa, Southwestern Minnesota and East-Central Dakota.
The abort line, via Seneca and Kankakee, offers superior bjbssjhsjshsmsj
facilities to travel between Cincinnati, Indianapolis, Lata- lsllftlM
yette. and Council Blufls, St. Joseph, Atfhiaon. Leaven lii 31 ftl SI
worth, Kansas City, Minneapolis and St. Paul. lilJIllSUS
Por Tickets, Maps, Folders, or any desired information, HHiHIHHHV
apply to any Coupon Ticket Office in the United States or Canada, or address.
E. ST. JOHN,
OftBtral
H CLARKE, President, Albany, N. 7. J. A. TTJLLEYS, Viee President
Kobt. V.SHJREY. Treasurer.
NEBRASKA & KANSAS.
FARM LOAN CO
PAID UP CAPrijiLf$50,000.
Red Cloud, Neb. Albany, New York.
DIRECTOhS:
H. Clarke, Albany. New York Geo R. Beach, BalstonSpa N.T.
W. H. Robeson, Altar.v, N. Y. E. S. Francis Pittsticld, Mas
R.V. Shirey D.H.Piatt K. V. Highland. J. A. Tulleya M.B.McSit
MONEY LCANED.
On improved larms in Nebraska and Kansas. Money furnished as Boon a the
security is approved Pnncmi and interest payable in Red Cloud
HIGHLAND & WECLH
Addition to the city of Eed Cloud
By far the most desirable property in Red Cloud
TENTH
" T" 2! 1
21 2 21 2
20 3 20 " 3
19 ; 19 4
w . v: ,
7 t " B e c
! gj ; K 7
IS 15 8
14 9 14 9
13 10 13 1
t2 11 iVlt
CO
o
3
NINTH
Lots reasonable, location easy of access,
Beautifully situated. Buy now !
GUMF & WARKER,
REAL ESTATE&L0AH BROKERS
Negotiate Loans,
Pay Taxes,
Insurance Written,
Call and examine our bargains. Correspond
ence solicited,
GUMP & WARNER.
Opera House Block Red Cloud
City
Harness Shop
J. L. MILLER
.DEALSKIN
HARNESS COLLABS, SADDLE
HORSE-BLANKETS?
WHIPS
I 'T v mw ;
. "-' Mn .mnal keot in
first clnf s
g"ij ------ -
harnesa shop.
St. Joseph ar.d Kansas City, in Missouri; Leavenworth
and Atchison, in Kansas; Minneapolis and St. Paul, in
I Minnesota; "Watertown and Sioux Falls, in Dakota, and
I raanv other rrosneroun towns and cities. It also offers n.
E. A. H0LBR00K,
CHICAGO, ILL. J
rt Ticket PmT
AVENUE
5
AVENUE
qEO. o. and r. d. yeiser,
FKOPKIETOBS OF THE
f intiT Cout; Abiirtd Qist.
BED CLOUD. NEB.
ComDlete and only set of abstract
honks in Webster county. Grazing and
arming lands and city property for
sale.
R. V.Sbiky, Pres. Henry CLARKEVice-Pres. Jxo. R. Shirey, Cashier
Howard B. Cather, Assistant Cashier
FIRST NATIONAL BAnK,-
Red Cloud, Nebraska.
CAPITAL, - $75,000
Transact a general banking business, buy and sell county warrants, also
county, precinct and school district bonds. JJuy and sell ioreign exchange
DIRECTORS:
Jas. McXenv. J. A.Tulleys, G. AV Lindscy. R. V. Shirey.
John R. Shirey. E. F. Highland.
Henry Clarke, A. J. Kenney.
Furniture, Furniture
New stock and almost at your own figure.
Come and ;et bargains.
F.- V. TAYLOR,
Opposite First National bank and Post Oflice.
Special attention given to undertaking-.
ED CL0UD pUGWIb iPl
J. W.siierw owl. President.
W. E. Jaekson, Vice-President.
L. P. Albright, Cashier.
P. A. Vi is:iy. Assist.iut C iV.iier.
"" .
Capital $50,000
nrrj-
Special Attention Given
Collectionr
DIRECTORS
J. W. Sherwood. II- Sherwood
L. P. AHrt;:lit. 1-evi Maore.
W. E. Jackson.
Wm. Duiker and S. Xorris.
Buy and sell Exchange
make collections ami uo a
3eneral Banking Business.
Interest allowed on
tme deposits
THE TRAbERS LUMBER CO..
WllX MAKE
TtAWm
POSITIVELY
Lower than any yard in the world
J
I adl
rf f wJVb-
Fine office work a Specialty
Toughing Gas always 01 Band
POPE
keep on hand
Farm Implements
of all kinds, which they sell at the
Lowest Living Rates
and on the Best of Teiins
Aisong their goods we call attention to the following:
Brown Planter?, Checkrowers aai Caltivatojs,
Manufactured by Geo. W. Brown & Cs.,.Galesburg,IlSnoi8.
Eagle Listers and Golden Eagle Cultivators,
Manufactured by Eagle Manufacturing Co.
Standard Plasters, Checkrowers,. Cultivators and Mowers,.
Manufactured by Emerson, Talcott & Co., of Rockford, Illinois.
Hoosier Rakes
Manufactured by Hoosier Drill Co
Barnes Combined Cultivators, Tongue Walking Cultivators, Haj Rakes and
Tongueless Cultivators,.
Manufactured by the Barnes Manufacturing Co., Freeport. III.
The well known New Departure Cultivators,
Manufactured be the Pattee Plow Co.
Stiidebaker Wagons,
Buggies and Phaetons, the Best Goods on Earth Manufactured by .
Stndebaker Bros., Manuf g Co., ef South Bend. Indiana.
The weP known and reliable Deering Steel Binders aad Mowers
Manufactured by William Deering & Co., Chicago, 111.
And Last but not Least, the World Renowned
BUCKEYE MOWER
and the Light Running
BTJCKEYK BINDER .
Manufactured Aultman, MU'er & Co,, Akron. Ohio m
They have sold these goods for twelve years and time has demonstrated '?.
that they are unexcelled.
Star Wind Mills,
Manufactured by Flint & Walling Manufacturing Co.
Also MonitorWind Mills and Waupun Vaneless Wiad Mills.
You will observe that all the:r goods are. first-class and maauiactured l.y
firmswho have an established reputation. A full line of repairs for above
goods.
1 The motto of the firm is "No Penitentiary Goods handled ana no p
m enis made with new goods at expense
se.i
i5I .si -it.
-OS
S EMIGH
DENTIST.
VCD CLOUD
NEM4SKA.
BROS.
a full line of
f
ot eu'imers." .
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