Nebraska Newspapers

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RED CLOITOCHIEF
A. C. HOSME3, Proprietor.
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RED CLOUD. - - - NEBRASKA
THAT VICIOUS OLD BUCKET.
How fresh in my mind are tho scenes of my
childhood.
At fond recollection presents them to view!
The cow-stall, the pig-pen, the ten cords of are
wood. And all the tough chores that I had to go
through.
The weeds in the garden, the stones in the
stubble.
The errands to run and the white beans to
shell:
JVtid (when r A already a surplus of trouble)
The bucket that viciously dropped in the well.
The rotten-roped bucket, the iron-bound bucket.
The confounded bucket that dropped in the
well:
After trudging all day in the wake of a harrow,
The team I must water ere gettinz my grub;
Cross, root-sore and tired clear into the mar
row, Td neize on the windlass to fill up their tub.
So downward the bucket demurely meandered;
And then, with hard lugging, it "rose from the
well;"
But ere I could dump it the rope had disbanded.
And, spang: to tlie bottom the tarnal thiag
fell!
The fiendish old bucket
et:
: the rotten-roped buck-
The hundred-ton bucket that dropped in the
well:
Then, with grapples and "creepers." and like
botherations,
I bent o'er the well like a capital A;
And mingling my tears with devout invocations,
I sprinkled them down as 1 angled away.
How it caught and slipped off and at last
caught securely!
I pulled with a joy that my words can not tell:
And I hugged, not from love, but to hold it more
surely.
The mud-covered bucket that rose from the
well.
The slippery old bucket, the rotten-roped buck
et: The mud-covered bucket that rose from the
well:
.V. r. Mail and Express.
MIRIAM.
Courago and Faithfulness of a
Moonshiner's Daughter.
The girl closed the door of the crumbling
spring-house, tier expression was alert and
expectant her movements sluggish, almost
dilatory; and yet a chilling wind whistled
down the holes of the rotten roof, through
long gaps and chinks between the worm
eaten logs; it tossed her brown hair, crim
soned her pretty cheek, all unheeded.
Miriam Sagsby did not feci the northerly
gale. Her gaze fastened itself upon the
thickets of laurel, sassafras and creep tug
bramble, where a narrow path, only a faw
yards away, abruptly disappeared. The
ftpring bubbled out from under a huge rock,
behind which ran a deep ravine where sun
light never penetrated the great pines, even
.at midday. The spot could not have bean
more widely sombre, but there was a safety
in that black abyss serviceable more than
once within Miriam's memory. Her smile
broadened into a pleased laugh as the lap
ping bushes were pushed aside and a man
looked warily about him before quitting
their shelter a man in the rough homespun
of a mountaineer, but with the handsome
face, soft hands and indescribable aspect of
one used to ease and luxury.
It's you. Dr. Heathe!" she exclaimed in
well-feigned surprise.
"Who did you think it was, Miriam!' in
quired Dr. Heathe, his keen, rapid glance
darting with lightning rapidity into every
dingy nook and remote shadow. There was
something painfully apprehensive in the
watchful scrutiny continually in those rest
less, suspicious eyes, as well as the firm,
half-menacing hold upon the rifle always
carried or at hand for instant "use. "Have
you seen any strangers!" he questioned.
Strangers! How should I! Strangers
don't come this away, onliest they're arfter
the moonshiners." she laughed.
Don't they!" ho said, without echoing
the laugh. "There are worst; things than
free stills."
"Last winter when I went down the ridge
to Odds Corner to school. theGuv'mentmen
were arfter the moonshiners, en' they met
me one evenin,' whenst 1'se a crossin' Diffl
kil Branch, en' offered me a new dress to
show the way to ole Tim Skinner's,"
"Did you do it.'" and azain that sharp
glance went off on its perpetual search for
secret danger.
"Do it!" she retcrted scornfully. Do
you think I'd tell of any body!"
"Perhaps you didn't know'"
"But I did know," she triumphantly as
serted. "I knew jes' where the 'still' was,
en' I knew they were a goin' off that night
with a load, but I'd die befo' I'd tell of 'em."
"Are you so brave as that, Miriam!" The
modulated tone became earnest and anxious;
his gaze rested on her fine, glowing face a
full minute before it traveled away upon its
tireless hunt of something or some one
never absent an instant from his mind.
"Could you. at the peril of your life, save
men tracked like wild beasts!"
"If 'twur father, now, I'd like to see 'cm
rateh him while I'm about, onliest father
don't have no mo' to do with the free stills.
When he did. I kep' him safe, en' give him
the signal if ever a stranger prowled the
ridge." returned Miram; "but j-ou ain't no
moonshiner!"
"No, Miriam, nota moonshiner; but would
you stand by me in that way, my girl, and
care wnat became or a stranger -"
"You have been on the ridge six months
ar better you are not a stranger," she in
terrupted. "No: notastrangerasthesepeoplesee't,"
was the half-ironical reply. "But, Miriam,
would you care enough to marry me! I
mean to stay here in the mountains all my
life siend my days in these pines where no
tine will ever see me. Does it matter to you
that I don't want any one to see or know of
cie!"
A more vigilant apprehension gathered
andcr the intensified suspense. She had
hesitated and averted her face. The crystal
jurface of the water at her feet reflected
the superb grace and manly beauty of this
stranger, so unspeakably different from the
rugged, sun-hardened habitants of ridge and
hollow. The rirl turned slowly toward him.
"I know you've got sommut to hide from,"
he said, quietly; "but for all that, Dr.
Heathe, you're better than I am you're
quality -bred, and I am only the old mooa--ihiner's
daughter "
"Hush, Miriam! What does it matter
what I was!" he broke i, passionately.
"You are too good forme Only say that
you will marry me. and caie for me, scoun
drel that I am," added the man, bitterly.
A dauntless resolution depicted itself upon
Miriam's countenance, as she lifted her
lustrous eyes and held his shifting glances
by the subtle force and fire in their depths,
"Yes, rilmurry you, en' stand by you,
too stand by you en' help you true en
faithful, if I am onliest a moonshiner's
daughter. I'L say it en' promise it, ef so be
you re true en faithful by me."
ft Ha.Tassed" tension of Heath coun
tenance relaxed.
'You hare bound yourself to stand by me
and love me I'll hold yon to it,"
"I- want you to hold me to it, onliest 1
want you to do the same by me," she re
plied. Relinquishing his gun for a moment, he
drew her into his arms and kissed her ten
derly, then, with a guilty start and invol
untary glance around him, released the girl
and took up his weapon.
"I'm a scoundrel to ask it," he said, with
a forced, angry luagh, ignoring the amend
ing request.
"Mirry ! Mirry 1" called a shrillvoice fm
the bouse.
"O, me! That's grandmother! Shel. bo
arfter me in a minute!" and Miriam hur
ried off up the path. Heathe followed,
easily keeping apace with her rapid steps.
"Miriam, shall I inform Ab and your
grandmother!" he asked. "You'll marry
me when there's a preacher comes to Odds
Corner, don't you call it!"
"Yes: the preacher can come here.
Father don't talk, en' grandmother don't go
nowhere," Miriam replied, intuitively di
vining a reservation of doubt and caution
under the phrasing of his question.
"Ab can hold his tongue, and there is
no one here who cares to hear of me,"
he remarked reflectiyely. "Ab is shy of
strangers."
The girl laughed.
"You need never fault father for talkin'
to strangers. You, haven't promised,
though, to do good en' faithful by me "
But her lover had opened the door, and both
went in.
Heathi slung his gun upon two gnarled
roots, nailed to a log not over an arm's
length from the seat in the chimney-corner
which ho n variably occupied. Not once in
the six months since he had stopped at the
cabin, one dark, rainy night, and asked for
shelter, had Dr. Heathe forgotten to hang
his firearms within reach, and never had
the restless vigilance of his eyes ceased or
rested. His evident desire to shun observa
tion, especially of the "Guv'ment men,"
commended him to the mountaineer who, in
the past, for reasons of his own, had thought
best to steer clear of any one who might be
a revenue collector in disguise. Ab Sagsby
had prefixed 'doctor" to the stranger's
name. "Danno but he has the 'ok of a
doctor,' he had said, and perhaps some in
nate respect which forbade the familiarity
of "John," or even of simple "Heathe," bad
induced him to adopt "doctor" as an easy
way out of a perplexity. Heathe himself
made no revelations, only staid on from
week to month abroad all day, but at night
a welcome inmate of the cabin. There is no
curiosity among the denizens of the moun
tain ridgos in Southwest Virginia. Nobody
asked who he was, or whyaman like Heathe
buried himself in the unknown remoteness
of the mountains. The fact of his being
under the roof of the wary old moonshiner,
Ab Sagsby, was sufficient warranty for abso
lute oblivion of what might be going on
around him, if indeed any thing ever did go
on.
"Mirry kin tie ter whomst she pleases,"
her father said when Heathe, taking advan
tage of Miriam's absence in the shed, told
him of his hopes. "H'it'sagood leetlegal
es you'll git, en she's a smart gal, Mirry is
h'ain'tafreed o'nothin'. She'll stick ter
you, spite o' ole Nick hisself, lcjs'n you go
back on her; 'twouldn't be overly safe fur
you then," and Ab chuckled, while the
great quid of tobacco oscillated in his check.
"She says that she will, and I suppose
there are people who are true and can be
trusted, though I have never had the good
fortune to meet them," replied the stranger,
a bitter smile flitting over bis countenance.
"Jes' so; they be skurce, en' pow'ful good
ter come across w'en a shurf en' pack o' Guv'
mentcrs kem at yo' heels. The gal knows
h'it Mirry knows, she do."
The escapes of memory perhaps amused
Ab, now that time had shorn them of dan
ger. The allusion, however, seemed to have
something terribly realistic in the picture
it limned to the man sitting in the shadow
of the chimney-corner, with his gun slung
on the rests in convenient reach. The
alert eyes involuntarily swept every corner
and crevice of the apartment and the visible
portion of the shed-room beyond. The in
tent look of one straining his hearing to
catch faintest stir deepened into a pained
anxiety.
"You hev' mo' larnin' than wo'uns.
doctor," resumed Ab, with an abrupt change
of manner. "You mebbe wa'n't fotchedup
like we-uns. en' I'm a-gwine ter say es you
mougnt think yo'sef better n me en' Mirry
"Miriam is better than I am that is what
I think and you have been my bt friend,"
interrupted Heathe, speaking hurriedly, a
hot impatience, almost desperation in his
manner. Old Ab looked pleased.
"Then you won't be 'shamed o' Mirry ur
me, whenst you' luck tu'ns, en' you h'an'f,
'Weeged ter hug ter the mountings!"
"You are my only friends. There is no
turn of luck can help me, no chance what
ever that I may wish to quit tho moun
tains," was the deliberate assurance.
"H'it's all right, then. I h'ain't much
tried in my mind long o' wheryou be foolin'
or no. Mirry's ekil to that ar; h'it's her
lookout."
Abner relapsed into his moody enjoyment
of the huge crackling blaze. Grandmother
Sagsby came in, and soon dozed over her
knitting. Miriam sat on tho hearth opposite
Heathe. The firelight glowed over her
beautiful face, and the strong, shapely
figure. Utter repose and the delightful
warmth conduced to that half-drowsy hazi
ness and abandon of perfect rest. The one
exception was the stranger. Apparently he
never rested. Tho watchful, listening, wide
awake look seemed never beguiled away by
any charm whatsoever. Two or three dogs,
that slept on ths floor near Ab, became
somewhat restless. An old hound opened
his eyes, and pushed himself nearer the
door. The movement was slight and noise
less, but Miriam sat p and noted the ani
mal for an instant, then left her seat and
stepped slowly past him to the shed-room.
The dog followed her into the chilly star
light beyond. Then she stopped short and
observed the hound. Lifting his nose high,
he sniffed suspiciously and gave a low growL
"What is it, Miriam!"
The girl started. Heathe was beside her,
an agony of apprehension in his counten
ance even a he grasped his gun and held it
ready to fire.
"Sommutstrang-3 is around. Leader never
mistakes." she whispered, creeping closer
to him. "Do you think they are hunting for
you!"
"Yes, I know it. They arc on my track at
last. They are hunting for me if they ars
hunting foranybody, but I'll never be taken,
Miriam never !"
"Taken! no. It's not many get taken in
the mountings," was tue scornful reply.
"LeaJer'H give tongua time enough; and
remeflbcrthe big hollow tree back o the
clearing the rope is always there to let you
down in it," she directed, in quick, low tone.
'Miriam," he whispered, "don't believe
their black story of me don't believe it. I
was there I saw it but I didn't do it. I
never intended tho worst. I can't prove
my innocence; but I solemnly tell you. I am
innocent of the worst the very worst you
willhuar."
Miriam laid her hand gently on his arm
her face grew tender her voice soft and
tremulous.
MIcare for you. John, whether it wen true
or not. Os now; Leader sniffs lower
q-iet there, Leader sommit's closer!"
The girl's startled, suppressed voice be
came suddenly shrill in its terror. Heathe
sprang forward with an agile, chamois-like
bound and vanished in the pines. The dogs
inside the cabin as well as out, set up a
simultaneous howl. There was no doubt of
an alien presence near at hand. Miriam
rushed into tho house and fastened the door
behind her.
"We know he's in there!" shouted a rough
voice.
"He's there I Give him up ! We're a-goia
to have him!" chorused rougher voices.
"H'it's batter ter lot 'em come. Mirry.
He's done swung hisse'f in 'gainst now."
Ab unbarred tho dwr, and, opMilng it,
stepped on tho threshold in cool contempla
tion of the sceuo. In itantly a revolver was
on each sido of his gray head.
"What be you after, shurf!" he asked,
thrusting him aside. The men outside
rushed rudely past him.
"You might as well give him up, Ab,"
answered the sheriff; "they've tracked him
out here, en' it's 'gainst the law ter shutter
a crim'naL I don't want'er 'rest a neighbor.
The fellow goes by the name of Heathe."
"We've got to search the premises, sher
iff," bristled a ferret-faced man, mora than
usually energetic in his efforts.
The sheriff smiled significantly.
"Efyou kin search these 'ere prem'ses,
why jes' go ahead, Mr. Faxton course, sir,"
he dryly responded.
"I've followed this Heathe for a year, and
I won't be beat now. There's a reward out
for him dead or alive so you may as well
tell where he is."
The man Paxton turned sharply upon
Miriam as he spoke.
"Heathe is not his name, neither, miss;
and I'll make it worth your while to tell of
him."
Miriam heard him in silence, a set, reso
lute expression upon her face.
"You shall have part of the reward "
"I don't touch blood money!" she inter
rupted, fiercely.
"It don't matter. I'll catch him yet. He's
a cold-blooded villain wanted for murder."
"Murder!"
The girl shivered. Her face paled into a
whiteness Ab bad never seen blanch its
deep, healthy hues.
"Murdered an old man for his money.
They're sure to lynch him if they get their
hands on him. Murder and robbery. I'm
certain to nab him sooner or later," added
the detective, with the professional gusto
of a man who had bagged human game.
Miriam listened wearily while they told
the terrible tale to Ab. She watched her
father narrowly. The quaxi moonshiner
might condone offenses against the revenue,
but murder ! she knew that he kjad a super
stitious horror of a man with blood oa bis
hands.
"He h'aint fitten ter git off, Mirry," he
whispered, while the search went on in the
angry thoroughness of threatened discom
fiture. "He'll fotch us tumble luck, ef he's
done h'it, en', Mirry, he sha'n't hev you,
noways. We'll git inter trouble long o him
ef we don't tlL"
"Father, I've helped en' stood by you,
hev'n't I!" asked the girl, a passionate
pleading in every lineament and accent.
"True 'nuff. Mirry; you've holped me
pow'ful; but 'twur never murder," he re
Joined, uneasily. "H'it's no good a-holpin
murder."
"No. no! I wouldn't do it, either; but he
says be is innocent, father."
"Innercent! Mayhap he is, en' likely be
h'ain't; likely he's jes' a-foolin'wid you,
kasehe's sartin you'll holphim out'n his
trouble," shrewdly interposed Ab.
"Father, he say he didn't murder he says
so," she repeated; "en' don't you tu'n
against us."
"Us! He sha'n't hev you."
The girl clung to him in desperate, terror
stricken violence.
"No, I won't never go with him till you
give the say so, father," she promised,
recklessly- "But he didn't doit ho is in
nocent, en' I'll hold to him till it comes all
right."
Ab turned away his wrinkled counten
ance had grown hard and stern in aspect.
He wished be had heard it all before they
told Miriam, or before they had come into
the bouse and the girl had reminded him of
the time when her vigilance and devotion
had stood him in such good stead while
"Guv'menters" hunted for the free distil
lery. Angry and disappointed of the gains for
which they served Justice, the detectives
came in from their futile search. They had
found the two or three brush-thatched out
houses an infinitesimal shred of the "prem
ises," compared with the black ravine, the
dense thickets, the great pine forest stretch
away into untold labyrinths.
"See here," old man, threatened the ferret
faced detective, "you'd do well to tell the
truth. We're sure the fellow is here, and
we're a-goin' to stay till we catch him, so
you might as well own up at once."
"Dunno but I might," acknowledged Ab.
"Heathe was here to-day, wasn't he!"
questioned the man, in boiling exasperation.
"Jes' so, capting; ho wur here ter-day."
"Thought so. Gim'me the truth, now.
He's here now, ain't he!"
Ab tore off a long leaf of tobacco from a
home-grown twist, and held it in tempting
proximity to bis mouth.
"Nat'ral 'nuff. capting, ef he h'ain't guv
you the slip, ho be hcah yit,"
"Confound tho fellow, we might a-known
by their takin it so cool that he had
vamoosed; curse the whole business!" an
grily retorted Paxton; but Abhad :jsM.d
the tobacco-leaf safely into his moutiand
lazily dropped into a chair before the fire.
His talk was over for the time.
The lukewarm sheriff and enraged de
tectivoftfad taken themselves off, down the
ridge, some time before Ab said, with a
satisfied chuckle:
"Twa'n't no lie es I tole 'em. Mirry. I
knowed them pow'ful sharp fellers wouldn't
believe h'it; but mind you, gal, you h'ain't
got my saysotertek' no manes commits
murder, en' you'll never git h'it, lease he
don't mean you right, en' h'it's onlucky."
Tho girl knew her father too well to re
monstrate. She knew, too, that Heathe
was only safe while she adhered to her
promise not to marry him without Ab's
permission. The cold winter tightened its
grip, and still an uneasy sense of surveil
lance and danger huug over them. The old
moonshiner's family bad once been full of
expedient for deluding doubtful visitors.
They seemed to come back to Miriam, along
with thousands of ingenious devices for the
comfort and safety of her lover. All the
winter long he was neither seen or heard of
at Ab's cabin, but all the winter long neither
rain, nor snow, nor raging tempest the
tempest of the mountains prevented the
girl's daily pilgrimage to the hut in the
black ravine. Ab would watch her go out
"a the whirling snow-wreaths, with the
basket on her arm, but he never questioned
the errand. So the winter dragged its ice
cold lengths away. The fine frosty flakes
of snow betokened a fierce storm coming
over the ridge already it had sifted liko
white powder into crack and crevice, shut
ting out the frigid wind roaring savagely
among the pines outside, but passing almost
contemptuously the warm, substantial cabin
crouchingbeneath them. The snow deadened
all sounds without, tho dogs gave no howl
nor warning, when suddenly the door was
thrown open, and with a sweeping gust and
snow two men cima ia. They were the
sheriff and a stranger.
"Don't make no stir, Ab!" shouted the
sheriff, "It's all rht t'other feller's con
fessed. Heathe didn't do it. This here's
his brother t'other feller owned up when
he'sa-dyin.'"
Ab smiled grimly.
"I wouldn't hev tuk nobody's wu'd for h'it
but your'n, shurf."
"Yes; we'vo kem a-puppose tor git him,
tho' it's cold es blazes," added tho satisfied
sheriff. "You see Heathe kem in on cm, en'
folks knowed thar's bad blood 'twixt 'cm,
so they pitched on him, en' wouldn't believe
nothin'elsc. 'Twur a clear case against
him; but he's innocent, and me'n his broth
er have kem for him. He's all right now."
"Fotch him, Mirry h'it's my say so."
"You bad a close call, young man: they'd
hev handed you sure, if they'd caught you,"
tho sheriff said, an hour later, when expla
nations had been made, and Heathe stood
among them, beside his brother, free and in
nocent.
"I must have had an inevitable and final
call this terrible winter but for this true
and loving woman," answered Heathe as he
looked down into Miriam's lustrous eyes
and beautiful face, softened and aglow with
joyous tenderness. "And now, Ab, there is
nothing to hinder we will bo married to
morrow." And they were. Leslie's JTeicpa
per. m a
THEY ARE EVERYWHERE.
The Ubiquitous Prominent Man and Lead
Ing Citizen.
The professional prominent men and
leading citizens uro, like the poor, al
ways with us. They aro ever on
the lookout for ways to distinguish
themselves and coinuidentally confer
benefits upon the human race. No op
portunity is suffered to pass for shed
ding the beams of their influential pat
ronage upon worthy people and wor
thy projects. They form themselves
into citizens associations, reform
clubs, citizens leagues, taxpayers'
unions, and the like, and can be de
luded upon to respond to calls upon
their time and purses whenever a
move is on foot to regulate something.
They constitute the reform clement in
every community, and serve society
usefully in this particular. As a lat
ent conicrvativo force, liable to be
summoned into action any moment
should occasion arise, they aro a genu
ine factor, more potent, perhaps, when
quiescent than when stirred up.
The professional prominent citizen
has one vanity, however, which de
tracts somewhat from his influence and
power, and that is the craving to "see
his name in the paper" in association
with the names of other professional
prominent citizens. It therefore tran
spires that when nothing appears in
need of being regulated for the moment,
a craving for something to do prompts
the professional prominent citizens to
strain a pointy It is then that they put
their heads together and pass resolu
tions of advice to Congress upon the
subject of national finances, the tariff,
fisheries, internal revenue, internal im
provements, or any thing that happens
to be uppermost in public thought.
They give banquets to distinguished
visitors or their fellow-townsmen who
may have honors thrust upon them,
and read with complacency and self
satisfaction that passcth understanding
accounts of she events in the news
papers the following morning. The
warm blood gushes through their veins
with pleasurable tingling on such occa
sions, and they hug themselves as they
reflect how much better the world is for
them.
The world U better by reason of the
interest they take in what is going on
about them. On the whole, the pro
fessional prominent citizen is a useful
person, and he should be cultivated and
encouraged within bounds. His vanity
is harmless, and so long as he does not
degenerate into a state of perennial
boredom he might as well be left free
to follow his own sweet will. Chicago
Mail.
HOUSEKEEPING HINTS.
The Very Latest Imported Style of Artlatle
DIsh.TVashlng.
The latest" summer style of washing
dishes is considered, by best mistresses
of the art, to be the most successful
yet introduced. The point to be at
tained is, of course, the largest number
usually broken by accident during the
process.
After a private view of one of the last
importations we offer the following
hints to housekeepers:
Collect from the dinner-table glass",
sil-r'.vware and china of all kinds in
a promiscuous heap on the waiter.
Stand your dish-pan in ihe kitchea
sink, and from a distance of five feet
hurl the articles, several at a time,
into it. Much can be accomplished
during this stage. Fill tbe pan to the
top, dropping spoons, knives and forte
violently into the spaces between china
and glass.
Next turn on the hot water, letting
it dash suddenly on top of the pile. If
this is done properly it will certainly
crack a glass or two.
When the pan overflows stir the
contents around for five minutes.
Youi fist, a stick, or a piece of soap on
a fork will answer for the purpose.
Then draw the dishes, always two
or three together (for tho purpose of
fine nicking), from the water and
wipe hard very hard, all on the same
towel. (This is imperative.)
The thinnest tumblers, cups, etc.,
can be leaned on and twisted most, as
this will generally make it unneces
sary to wipe them again.
The silver can be clutched in one
hand and rolled in the towel after eve
rything else is disposed of. Very
little can be done with silver. There
is no joy in this part of the work.
When you have finished your dish
washing, according to the finest in;
ported style, you will find that the la
bor of carrying the dishes back to tht
dining-room closet is much lightened-
Any remnants can be thrown intt
the convenient ash baxroLJwIgtk
EXAMINING RECRUITS.
Obstacles in the War or Getting Into Unci
taw's Armr.
It is not so easy for a man to get into
the United States army. He must go
through us rigid an examination as a
life insurance company would insist on,
and even if he passes that he is not
certain to be admitted, as defective
eyesight or imperfect hearing, that
would not hurt a man's prospects or
longevity, keep him out of the army.
The recruiting officers need to know as
much as a surgeon. Besides that, they
acquire a knowledge of human nature
which helps them pick out the best
men. Hardly half the applicants for
enlistment are received, and as a re
sult of this careful culling, and the re
enlistment of the best of the old men,
the physical and the moral standard of
the army is constantly rising.
The most careful examination is
made of the chest and heart. A table
has been prepared giving the mean
chest measurement and mobility for
each inch of height. A recruit five
feet four should weigh 128 pounds, have
a mean chest measurement of thirty
four inches, and a mobility of two
inches. At five feet height his weight
should be 141 pounds, his mean chest
341; inches, and his mobility two and
one-half inches. Each inch in height
over five feet four should mean an in
crease in weight oi two pounds, with
five pounds extra for each inch over
five feet seven. After five feet soven
there should be an increase of half an
inch in the mean chest measurement
for each inch in height. The table gives
the weight, height and chest mobility
up to 6 feet 3, where the weight should
be 190 pounds, the mean chest 38 inches,
and the mobility 2 inches. It would
be ground for rejection if the man
should be under weight, or if his mean
chest or chest mobility were too small.
The measurements of the chest are
made by having the recruit raise his
arms above his head. The tape is cir
cled around the chest under the arm
pits. As the arms are lowered and the
air expelled, the measure is taken.
Then a full inspiration, and the meas
ure is taken again at the same point.
The difference is the mobility. A
mobility of over three inches shows
that the chest is in good expansive
condition.
The recruit hops around the room
first on one leg and then on the other.
Upoa hia return the recruiting officer
feels his pulse, to see how much it has
quickened through the exercise. The
glands, muscles and bones are ex
amined, and occasionally measure
ments are taken of the arms, legs and
stomach. The recruit then goes
through the positions required in drill
ing, and he flops his arms, legs, hands,
feet and fingers around to show the
officer that they work freely. The ex
amination extends to every part of the
body, and is as thorough as it can be
made. K. Y. Sun.
AMERICAN BONAPARTES.
Member of the Historical Corslcan Fain.
Ily Residing la Washington.
Two striking figures have become
familiar to people along the- fashion
able part of Rhode Island avenue and
out Fourteenth street. They are al
ways on horseback, sweeping along at
a brisk trot or canter, aud whisking
around corners with a reckless grace.
The one is a man of striking appear
ance, in high military boots and with
the strong face of a soldier. His heavy
shoulders bend forward in an un-American
fashion for riding, but his strong
limbs and the bold carriage of his head
attest that he would be an erect figure
dismounted, and when his horse comes
to a stand he sits his saddle as erect as
a statue. His large, round head is set
firmly, and his heavy black mustache,
brushed straight out on either side and
waxed at the ends in the military style
of France, and a black goatee, drawn
down and waxed in the same style, give
him a fierce expression, and bring to
mind a historic portrait. His mount
is a blood bay of .large build, which
carries him at a sweeping trot.
The companion who gallops on a
smaller animal at his side is a little old
lady, with an abundance of iron gray
hair, and features that always attract
attention. She is a daring rider as
well as a good one, and she often
presses her horse to a more reckless
pace than is his wont. Sometimes
they are accompanied by a young girl,
apparently their daughter. Nearly
every day in the winter, when less en
thusiastic horsemen restricted their
equestrian exercises to the quadrangle
of the riding academy, these two
would face the cutting wind with a
dash that showed them seasoned to the
sport.
The man's striking resemblance to
Napoleon HI. marks him at once for
one of that stock. They are Colonel
Jerome Bonaparte and Mme. Bona
parte. It is Mme. Bonaparte's love of
this exercise that swings her husband
so often into the saddle. This active
out-door life gives her a youthful color
that disputes the accusation of her
gray hair. The Colonel's hair is
tinged with gray. Any one at all fa
miliar with the portrait of the last
Emperor of France is struck with the
resemblance between the two faces.
Colonel Bonaparte rides a better horse,
but he is not as graceful a rider as his
wife. Washington Letter.
Silence U Golden.
They were sitting in an easy chafc
out on the porch.
He Darling.
She Darling.
He Sweet.
She Sweet.
Ho Precious precious.
She Precious ah. but,George. dear,
do not let us disturb the solemn still
ness the wide silence of the night
with conversatfon. 2T. Jf. Sun.
MISCELLANEOUS.
A French writer classes all women
by tho size of their thumbs. Those with
largo thumbs are said to be more likely
to possess native intelligence while tho
small thumbs indicate feeling.
Mr. R. (furnisher and decorator)
"Now, sir, your house has the mag
nificence of an oriental potentate, ex
cept, of course, the er seraglio."
Mrs. Michael Van Flanigan (proudly
to her husband) "Mike, dear, spare
no expense, let us have one." Life.
What irregularities there must
have been to cause this! In the room
of a railway depot in Iowa is the fol
lowing placard over the clock: "This
is a clock; it is running; it is Chicago
time; it is right; it is set every day at
ten o'clock. Now keep your mouth
shut."
Nancy Hanks Lincoln, the mother
of Abraham Lincoln, is buried on the
outskirts of Lincoln City, Ind. A plain
slab of marble about four feet high, al
most covered with grass and dogweed,
marks her grave. On the stone is tho
inscription: "Erected by a friend of
her martyred son, 1879."
A Maltese cat and a large rattle
snake had a fight in a yard at Albany,
Ga. Every time the snake would at
tempt to strike with its wicked looking
fangs, the cat would give it a vigorous
slap on the side of the head and it
would be withdrawn. This lasted for
fully an hour, when at last the cat
pounced upon the snake and killed it.
Friend "Was your uncle's will
satisfactory to you. Brown?" Brown
"Perfectly so; I'm a lucky dog! He
left his entire fortune to an insane
asylum." Friend "You mean that
you are the , unlucky dog." Brown
"No, I don't; the other relations are
going to contest the will and I'm to be
the attorney." Life.
The health of New York compares
very unfavorably with that of London.
The annual mortality in the British
metropolis is about 20 in 1,000, while in
New York it is 26 in 1,000. The popu
lation of New York is also much more
crowded, there being an average of 16
persons to a dwelling, while in London
the average is only 7.
Servant maid "Have you heard
the news, ma'am? Last night thieves
broke into a hen-pen in Long street,
and cleared out all the poultry." Mis
tress "Serves them right, the stupid
people! Why don't they take proper
precautions; but where did this hap
pen?" Maid "At No: 12." Mistress
"Why, that is our house?" Maid
"Certainly; I did not like telling you
at once for fear you might be startled!"
"I think," said the minister, who
was visiting the parishioner, "that it is
easier to coax children than to drive
them. Gentle words are more effect
ive than harsh ones." "I think so.
too," said the lady, tenderly. Then
she raised her window and suddenly
shouted to her boy: "Johnnie, if you
don't come in out of that mud-puddlo
niTireak your back!" Columbus Dis
patch. It is reported that a "devil fish" or
ocean vampire, weighing fully two
tons, was recently caught in a fishing
seine on the Mexican coast near Tam
pico. When dead and spread out on
the beach it presented every appearance
of an enormous bat or vampire. It was
fifteen feet long and seventeen feet
wide from the edges of the pectoral
fins, and its mouth was five feet
across.
An office boy, fourteen years old.
recently ran off with $25 belonging to
a London firm. In court he made this
statement: "Some time ago I went to
see Buffalo Bill's 'Wild West' and made
up my mind to go to America, and as
soon as I got the ' check cashed I
started off, but, not having enough
money to take me to America, I fol
lowed the show. I still intend to go to
America, and, even if I shall get ten
years for this offence, I shall go after
ward." There is at Lone Pine, Inyo
County, Cal., a rock that might be easi
ly passed off for a petrified elephant. A
photograph of the rock shows as like
as possible to the photograph of an
elephant. The trunk, the eyes, the
head and body are all as well formed
in the photograph as if the camera had
been turned to a living animal. The
wrinkles and folds in the skin of an
elephant and the color are all repeated
In the rock. The symmetry and pro
portions of the living animal are re
produced in this remarkable freak of
nature.
Vermont man (scornfully) "Tex
as? Why, man, Texas can't hold a
candle to Vermont. From men down
to flapjacks we're 'way ahead of you."
Texas man "Flapjacks? Flapjacks?
I reckon you don't know whatcher talk
in' about, stranger. Didjever see a
Texas flapjack one of those fellers that
weighs fifteen pounds, and Is ninety
eight yards in ci'cumTrence?" Ver
mont man (aghast) "O, come, now.
John! You never saw a flapjack as big
as that. How do you get your syrup
on it" Texas man. "With a hose, of
course. Howjer 'spose?" Harper's
Bazar.
While a party of gentlemen were
standing near a livery stable at Ath
ens the other day, talking, something
struck tho wooden awning under
which they were standing and then
bounced off into the street. This ex
cited the curiosity of one of the par
ty, as it was too far from anyone s
house to throw anything on the awn
ing and there was nobody on the
street. On examination the missile
was found to be a beef bone that was
somewhat decomposed. The only
theory as to where this bone could
have come from is that a hawk or u
buzzard had got onto a piei.-e of board
ing house beef, and finding it toa
tough, bad incontinently dropped ik
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