CHILDREN'S CLOTHES. Ckaralac Nalanook and Plaaa Dmnmm tor i Hew the Bonanza Kins Made Orer Flv oj and Girl, Mlllioa Dollar. Tlie first short dresses worn by chil- j "One of the shrewdest tricks ever 3ren from six months to one year old played upon investors in mining se fcy boys :md giU alike) are yoke sli,s ' curitics," said Alfred B. Sawyer, of of nainsook made just short enough to . Sacramento, Cal., "was that engineered scape being trod on as the child walks, j by the owners of the Consolidated Vir These little slips have a round or i ginia in 187a There had been a great pointed yoke of tine tucks, with feather j deal of speculation in Comstoek stocks, Pitching or embroidery between, with J but the bottom had rather fallen out of .-sleeve "slightly full at the wristband, J the market and prices were low. De .and full skirt hemmed and tucked be- j siring to turn ati honest penny. Flood, low, then gathered to the yoke. For j O'Brien and Mackay determined to the second year "baby-waist" dresses j make an effort to boom the stock. Ac Are made wi:h belt, yoke and full t cordingly Mackay one day left for Vir- kirt; these have very deep yoke, with short space (yet full) between the yoke and belt. A sash of the nainsook with trimmed ends may be added at the sides of the belt, and tied behind in a largo bow. Girls continue to wear such dresses until they put on guimpu waists, and indeed until they are ten or twelve years old, but to show that baby boys are boys, more boyish-looking dresses are put on them when they are two and a half years old. Thus dor boys are one-piece dresses of piqito rnade with round plaited waist ami skirt, with much larger plaits sewed to the. waist under a belt. The front of the waist has a box plait down tho middle, with six small side plaits on each side of it. A turned-down collar. 'Open in front and back, is trimmed with linen braid put on iu curves. Rows of curled linen braid nro across tho front plaits of the waist and the very large box plait of the skirt; the re niniudcr of the skirt may bo either in large kilt plaits or in box plaits. Tho belt and the sleeves are also braided. The new Louis Quinzc suits of pique lor boys three to fivcycarsibul dispenso with a separate blouse of nainsook, and Jiavc instead a full puffed front (like a fedora vest) of all-over embroidered muslin sewed on the front of the pique underwaist to which the kill skirt of pique is sewed. The little jacket of this suit has a broad short back, with short fronts curving away from the neck to show the embroidered blouse-like front. -and is also curved open up the under arm seams, with curled linen braid for the trimming. The collar is square be hind, in sailor shape, and quite short in front. The sailor suit also reappears for boys of three to five years or more. made of pique, either plain white, or J -with tiny dots of blue or red, or with colored stripes or cross rows on either white or buff ground, lie kilt skirt is sewed to a twilled cotton under-waist which is covered in front with pique to look like a sailor's shirt, the stripes be ing laid across, and tho neck bound without a collar. Over this is the sailor blouse cut in a point low at the throat, witit a deep collar, square behind. Doiuted in front, and finished at the I point with a bow or a sailor knot of P'kets, gained without once telling a blue or red ribbon. . This dress is also'i lil' anil- in f:lcr b-v means of speaking worn bv girls, and niav be made of blue the tn,th in an unusually open and un gingham. flannel or serge, or of white reserved manner. Their previous rep wools or plaid or striped cotton or wool utation had been such that the truth good,. J from them was the only thing that White muslins are niadcup with open would haw surprised those who had cmbroiderv in all-over dosign for wear-I ing with guimpe for girls of throe to ten rears. The full round skirt is gathered to the waist and scalloped at the foot; the embroidery in wheels or lattice pattern nearly covers it. The round Iow-neekcd waist is cut out o! the embroidery, and has a striped ef fect given it by the lengthwise box plaits of nainsook sewed upon it at in tervals all around. Tho sleeves arc .lialf-long, with a corded edge below, and a pointed cap of embroidery at tho top. The neck is simply corded. Watered ribbon, two inches wide, passes as a belt around the waist under the plaits, ending in a bow on the left .side. Small bows on the shoulders. Harper's Bazar. NOVELTIES IN JEWELRY. -Odd DfAic"" in S'HtT-Plnn. Hroorhca, Charui and lVndaata. An oxidized silver blossom, having a golden heart, is a pleasing pattern in scarf pins. A seasonable pin is a snow-shoe of oxidized silver, with meshes and fasten ings in the bright metal. Dainty little brooches of silver filigree recently seen represented film' lace jiarasols, mandolins and violins. A plea-nig pattern in garter buckles "is a flat scroll of K'iman gold, having a border of enameled flowers sunk into the metal. A pin admired by turfmen is a curled liorseshoe, nail in nugget finished Ro man gold, iu the head of which is set a small ruby. Coffet beans of gold or silver, tinted iu contrasting shades, make peculiar sleeve links. The regular bean shape .is also used. A pretty pendant for a lady's chain is a pitcher of handsomely chased gold with designs in enameL The lip and bottom are of silver. A soft shell clam of silver, is a pecu liar niatch box, and the same design, but on a larger scale, makes a tobacco box both artistic and unique. A scallop shell of silver, the ribs represented by rows of diamonds and holding a diamond in its center, is an attractive butV'xpensive brooch. An odd design in a brooch is a rani's bead in relief with proudly curving boms. Medallions, on which arc uie li:eval heads, fill the space encircled ,by the horns. An artistic locket charm, suitable for small pictures, is of highlj chased gold sind represents an open, fan. Tho sur face is studded with minute forget-mo-mots in natural colors. A flat match safe, mended to bo -worn as a watch charnA is of a size snitablcfor wax matchetand has a small ring for suspension from the hain. It is uiade of eithVr sihrer or -old, but without ornamentation of an Mind.-Jeweler's Wcekttf. A LAUGHABLE RUSE. ginia uity. aim on arriving at mac place ordered that the shafts of the Consolidated Virginia be strictly guarded, and neither ingress or egress permitted. More than live hundred workmen were employed in the different drift?, not one of whom was allowed to ascend to the surface, while no out sider was allowed to go anywhere near the shafts. The news was of course 'at once telegraphed all over the country and caused tremendous excitement. It was at once assumed that a great strike had been made which the principal stockholders desired to conceal from the public and the stock accordingly begau to mount skyward. Flood and O'Brien both stated in the most positive terms that no striko had been made, and advised every one not to invest, saying that the price of the stock was far above its value, and declaring that if it continued torise they would dispose of their hold ings. This only added fuel to tho Haines, and tho stock rose from $35 to $500. Flood, Mackay and O'Brien un loaded all they had, and when this was accomplished withdrew the guards from the shafts and allowed the miners to ascend. Of course each one of them was eagerly questioned as to the cause of his long detention underground, and asked to give a description of the ore body recently discovered, which was assumed to be the cause of this unusual proceeding. One nud all answered that there had been no strike, and that they could see iio reason for their de tention. They had. been paid triple wages for the time they had been kept from going to the top of the shaft, but could assign no reason for this course of action. The speculators saw at once .- . ... that they had been victimized, and tiie siock aroppeti in a uay neiow twenty. The bonanza kings advised their friends not to sell, saying that the stock was worth more than the price asked, but this was regarded as an effort to bolster it up. and caused it to sink even lower. The bonanza insiders bought it up. and in less than three months from the time when the shafts were closed held more stock than ever before, and had a clear profit of more than $5,000,000 in their lT '' -" u.m. .iu ..jr traded on their bad name with immense advantage to themselves, victimizing the entire population of the Pacific coaet, as they had so often done, both before and since." St. Louis Post-Dispatch. j OFFICIAL RED TAPE. The Work Canard by tlie list or a of a Two Cent Stamp. I A letter signed with initials and i mailed at the Washington post-office ' was received the other day at the Post- ' Office Department. The writer cn- ' closed a two-cent stamp, with the fol- ' lowing explanatory remark for tho benefit of the Postmaster General: "1 received a letter through your office yesterday; the canceling stamp failed to cancel the stamp. I tore the stamp off ami used it. Now my con science has got the best of me. You will please find enclosed a two-cent stamp to go to the "Conscience Fund.' " As it was not money the stamp was not sent to the Treasury Department, where there is a social fund for tho benefit of those who are overcome by the pangs of conscience. The letter was sent on ine oiuciai rounu and as- lunch ink and good paper was con sumed in recording its reception in the department and its final disposition as if it had been $10,000, instead of a sickly two-cent stamp. It was first of all recorded in the book of letters re ceived in tho Postmaster-General's office, and was then sent, as indorsed by 1 the chief clerk, to the Third Assistant Postmaster-General. When it reaehed the latter office it was referred by the Third Assistant Postmaster-General to the Finance Division. Another record was made in the book of the office of letters received and jacketed. Then it found its way to the Finance Division. The chief of that division pasted tho stamp on the letter, drew two cross marks through the stamp with his pen and marked under it the word "can celed" and signed his name. This op eration was witnessed by a clerk, who affixed his name as witness, and then the ietter having reached the end of its red tape journey, was duly and prop erly deposited in the files, where it will remain as an evidence to future gener ations that this petit larceny upon tho Government was regularly and offi cially atoned for. In case the citizen whose conscience was disturbed wishes to establish the fact that he has made restitution, he can refer to the docu ments in the case, which the Post-Office Department will kindly preserve for him without charge. Washington Star. m e Tho washerwoman finds her occu pation almost gone through the intro duction of machinery. The most inter esting machine is the wbizzer, which dries clothes in obs thousand revolu tions a minute. CIGAR-BOX MAKING. Why Cedar Wood I I7d la All l'art the Globe. Cedar is ued for cigar boxes because it is the most porous wood, is ea-iiv dried, and can be cut and nailed Letter and quicker than hard wool, lint 4n: principal reason is because of the flavor which is contained in the essential oil with which the wood is saturated. The flavor of the oil evaporates freely and has the most beneficial effect upon any kind of tobacco. The best cedar tho largest and finest in color and quantity comes from th southern Gulf coast of Mexico. Lately the cedar market has been very much depressed beeau.-c manufacturers o! cheap cigar boxes have found it pr:vti cable to use stained and grained wood, in imitation of genuine cedar, for cheap boxes. The grain is pressed on the wood while it is running through ro'.l ers, and the imitation is nearly pcrfe.-t. except the peculiar aroma. In Cuba, Mexico, Guatemala and the Central American States cedar gro-.v.-in forests, singly or in clumps of three or four trees, and these trees are verv often fifty to one hundred yards apart. They grow frequently in company with mahoganv. The trees being so far apart it is very troublesome t go". them out of the woods after they are cut. In the majority of instances a special path has to be made through the woods, through which the timber is dragged to a neighboring creek, the water of which bears it to market. The trees are cut by Indians or half breeds, for which they are paid in Mexico and the Central American States, twenty-five to fifty cents a day. The monteros who engage these people generally manage it so that nothing is left after pureha-ing the supplies, tools. etc.; all thist is deducted out of th-i In dians' or half-breeds pay, and if any thing is left the montero usually gam bles it away. The chopping of the trees is generally done during the dry season. When the rainv season sets in, which is in the fall months, the creeks and rivers commence to swell, and the timber is floated down , , , , . uiutcmcMi. uj un.iia aim Hill l)'iii.t n .... . , ... to the larger streams, and from there it not;cej :l3 ou pass from the western W:IS a l,nivers,tv- I Jones has not heard tne sermon, per is sent in rafts to the shippers near the ; o tlie e"astern tribes, the contrarv ' A Mournful Reflection. A Texas hails it would not be right to-xn-ct seaeoast. Advances in the shape of i mav Jje sa!j 3o far . re,rani5 soci.i nmn was left S2.000 by the death of an him to pay any thing for it.' Epnc'i. money, provisions, and tools are made i or,ranization." The 'condiTious for ac- nm'le in -w York. He drank deeply, j A Congressman dead again- wo i- to the monteros by the shippers. Cedar I c7Hui:ltino- individual property are am" uent thrn"n inc property in two ' an's rights was talningto a dcleg-ite and mahogany are shipped to New mnre fa-able in the west, but there n,onln?- While engaged in the com- to the International Council of Wdiih-s. York, Havre, Liverpool and Hamburg';, 'j.,.,.1.' i i,r i.-ibit ,',f mikin"- plction of one of the railroads in Texas, ' "Whv." he said, "you women eai't b. oil cimeu menu The cedar is now in New nrk. Pos - siblv it has am two or three seasons where it lias oeen cut on account oi the seasons not being rainy enough to float fashion it into a square shape. How it is made into cigar-boxes is a process that can be readily imagined. First, the log. if too long, is sawed off to a required length. Then it is hauled up an inclined plane to the mill. Here, by means of an endless band and veneer saws it is sawed into one-quarter and three-sixteonths inch lumber. The cut timber is taken to the drying room where it is placed in racks where the circulation of the air is free and , subjected to hot steam until tho moist-, lire of the wood is all dried out. The lumber is then taken out of the drying room and planed. The seasoning and planing constitute the most important elements in a good cigar-box. The timber is now finished, trimmed, and the edges smoothed, and it is sawed crosswise into the sides, bottoms and tops of the cigar boxes. The selectors now take hold of the cedar, and pick out the best pieces for the front and the worst for the back of the boxes. The pieces are now ready to be put to gether, but they must first receive what ever printing and embossing the cigar manufatiirer may require. A cigar box ordinarily needs four or five im pressions. Besides the brand, which is stamped and printed on the top. there arc legends, such as "Conchas Specials," "Favoritas" and similar dis tinguishing words printed on the sides. The district internal revenue number of the cigar factory using the box ami the quantity is impressed, according to law. ou the bottom of the box. ' The pieces are nailed into hooks first that is, an end. and side piee are put together. The hooks xre joined and the box is ready for the top and bottom. The latter is nailed on and a muslin hinge is pasted on the former, which secures it to the Itox. From the nailing-room the boxes are taken to the pasting-room. Here girls paste the edges, labels, etc., and the box is stood aside to dry. The box is now ready to receive cigars. Some times fancy touches in the way of varnishing and putting on fancy paper are desire.!, but the ordinary cedar cigar-box receives the treatment I have described. When it is recollected that a cigar-box fulfills its mission the moment it receives its cigars, and must be de stroyed, by law. as soon as it becomes empty, the number of boxes used in this country, with the progress of tli cigar industry and the law prescribing them as the only packing for cigars, it almost equals the number of hair-pins manufactuted. X. T. Letter. At Sullivan, on Frenchman's Bay,, opposite Bar Harbor, they dig a shell fish which some of the natives declare superior to scollops. It is called razor fish, from the fact that tbe shell is shaped like a razor handle. The shell is of a dark blue color, and it is quite difficult to open it with a knife. These fish are found in the mud, like clams. They are very acute of hearing, and disappear quickly when disturbed, so that anybody who wants to get a mess of them has to dig pretty lively. B. D. Blackinore. anthor of the "Lorn a Doone," runs the biggest mar ket garden in England, it to tidewater. It is now m rough j . j and when ;t-0- is m logs, tne only attempt at dressing nond ,lrmh. sei.lireil a mav tiOIlbt hmv lmi lipimr stmoli'tn remnre the lini-t nnil to . . . ... . ". . . . ' ARCTIC COMMUNISTS. Hew the Law of Property Are Observed by tbe Enqulnaaax. All the inhabitants of a winter station receive Some share of the seals cap tured. Any one might fish and use the weirs made by others. Housemates, but not plaeemates. were fed by the , families best off for food at the moment. 'Virtually the surplus of any individual or community was made over to those who had less." But the property 2ssential to each individual was secured to him by a kind of supernatural sanction, resembling the tabu. Appar ently a man with. say. three coats was not supposed to have this protection extended to the third coat. If we sup pose these lules. suddenly brought into European civilization it is plain that ixtensfre idleness would lie the first result Those who had nothing would use up tiie property of those who had something while it lasted. Among the Esquimaux the community checked this partly by exposing the idler to satirical songs at the meetings of place mates. Iu places where, as in Danish tVest Greenland. European influence has been felt, the old communism flourishes, but the old customary obli gations to work have weakened, and "the natural consequence has been im poverishment." Capital punishment is inflictod bv the decision of the com- I mun5tv on witches and on individuals obviously dangerous to the public. Though the Esquimaux arc generally regarded as chiefless. Dr. Rink in his j new book says that each house or sta tion has its chief or patriarch. A pun ishment as severe as burning a man out of the house in midwinter has been noticed. There is another authority the angakok a kind of brchon or authorized wizanl ami judge. AH this condition of society rests on the extreme dependence of man on man j in these verv small and isolated eonimu-' uities. To be turned out of them would ' be nearly equivalent to death, or. at least, to the condition of the Weendigo. j ! the lonelv ogre of Labrador. More- . . . . .. ., . 'profuse gifts. A well-to-do western , & uimaIIS fa 1!ko a rich Athenian of obL Thp .ftj of th(J formcr Mgwcr to the "liturgsis" of the latter. Position ift- OIICC r tne giving win last, i here is arising something like the system of rank i which prevails among the Indians I further south. The keeping of slaves, "of all habits the one apparently most at variance with Esquimaux sociid life." is developed. Among the Ahts, I a neighboring Indian people, "the per- j son who gives away most property re- t ceives the greatest praise and in time acquires the highest rank, not hered rtarv. "obtainable by such means." , , iertty re, of a e - a ..m .. ' e?.-,j . .,,. scmbles that nursing a con stituency Saturday Renew. WHY PAPA CONSENTED, How an Irate Parent Wi ladacwd ta ltlF9 111 Moa-ln-Law. A friend of mine related to me his ex perience in reconciling a testy old fel low to the marriage engagement of his f-,nritrnl.oicrtltl- All- f tlfrtrwinnt 1-koiniv .. .",. , . . . l a discreet aim nenevoienc character ami iiitimoto Yvitli ?ilt tTie ruiremic inn. i cerned.was persuaded bv the TOuns people to intercede on their behalf. He I undertook the task with no little hesi tation, and the reception which his overtures met was not calculated to raise any hopes. He hegan by repre senting to paterfamilias the exceeding cleverness of his would-be son-in-law and the brilliant futile which certainly lies before him. Tfiis. however, pro duced not the least effect, and he suc ceeded no better when he fell back upon the young man's tine moral epial- ities and solid worth. At last the po-. tential father-in-law exclaimed: "Now, , . you nave iniu me a ioi oi sum iu praise of this fellow who wants to iiiarrv mv daughter be honest, and sav what there is to be said against him." Being thus taken in flank, as it were, the family friend, a ridiculously con scientious person, admitted, with some hesitation, that the matrimonial aspir ant is rather unpopular, that his man ners are not pleasant, that he is sup posed to be sullen at times, etc.. etc. "Hum!" said the old gentleman, prick ing up his ears, has he many friends?" No," the go-between confessed. "I am afraid not-" "Well," the stern parent declared, unbending at last, "I don't know but what Fanny may have him if she likes. He is evidently dis agreeable enough, but. in my opinion, the kind of man that you describe makes a pretty safe husband. Your jolly, popular men are always spend ing other people's money and devoting themselves to other people's wives, fcuwy is a sensible girl, and if she wants to marry this young fellow 1 woif t stand ii; the way." Boston Post. Collecting Money. Husband (to wife) Tve been out half the day trying to collect money, and I'm mad enough to break the fur niture. It beats all how some men will put off and put off. A man who owes money and won't pay it isn't fit to as sociate Servant (opening the door) Tho butcher, sorr. is down-stairs with his bill- Husband Tell him to call again. Uf. . and influence are admired bv this " MISCELLANEOUS. The young fellow who has expecta tions finds no difficulty in sailing aliout on his heirship. Binghamton Leader. Speak of a man as you nd him. If you lind him in Canada, forget that you knew him in the States. X. O. Picayune. Cork is the latest material proposed for making rail-oad cars. The idea is that in case of collision it would simply bound off the track. Jones "Fish arc spoken of as the fisherman's harvest. Why is that?' Smith "Because the fishermen have to plow l he waves to get them." Boston Courier. A new lubricant that is coming into use" iu Germany is mustard oil. It remains fluid at the low temperature of fourteen degrees Fahrenheit, ami will keep unchanged for years. The champion meanest man is the husband who placed his pocketbook in a mouse-trap, so that ids wife could not get at it in the early morning without liberating a mouse. Baltimore Ameri can. Silver, generally a very desirable metal, is a source of great annovanc? to the manufacturer of white lead. for. if present in an appreciable quantity, it spoils the color of the finished product, owing to the well-known blackening effect of light upon the salts of silver. Generous man (on ferry boat) That is rich. Funniest thing I've read in some time (reads it to a sour-looking man next him.) Don't you see any thin? funnv in that? Whv don't von ' laugh?' Sour-looking Man "If you'd claimed poem will claim about eveiy i spent three hours scratching the" hair thing and any thing. Bud-jcl. i off your head Irving-to Kike out that' A man went into an editor's office ' joke, you wouldn't laugh much.' ' in Boston. Mass., one day la-t week, j "What was the biggest school of transacted his business iu half a di..-n I mackerel you ever saw?" asked a sum-' words, and left without offering an. i mer boarder of old Captain Gloster. advice whatever as to the conduct of "The biggest school of mackerel I ever saw?" repeated the captain, shifting his quid and hitching up his trousers. "Well, ma'am, tho biggest school of mackerel I ever saw was offthe Banks, away back In '61. But. ma'am, that t wasn't no school of mackerel. That ne receiveu nonce mar. ne nail laiien heir, this time to $5,000. "Allow me to congratulate vou." said one of his fellow-workmen. "Congratulate noth - ing! said the man dismally. "It looks wa. Critic very much as though there was sonio I She "My! wasn't that a dreary kind of a plot on foot to kill me off." j play? Not a gleam of humor in .:. Texas Silings: , But don't you think some of the serio.n The annual royalty exacted by the speeches were most effective?" !! -Bell Telephone Company from its busi- "Why shouldn't they be? The airhor jiess is $14 per set of instruments. It has had the best training in tins worM fells nothing. In New York State, at for serious and tragie writing." !e least, in addition to these royalties it ' "Indeed?' He "Yes; lie was ed.tor also exacts from its licenses a further of an English comic paper for tli re consideration in the form of a donation years." Detroit Free Press. of thirty-five per cent, of the capital She "My darling, it see.n -neb a stock of its licenses. It also exacts a little while since we entered thw hou. commission upon all extra territorial to begin life together. The glad spring and telegraph business done by the : time hail just begun, the air was vocal licenses oi niiecn per cent, on tne : former and latter. fifteen per cent, of the An easy-going couple live in Spring-1 field, Mass. They aro young, have , been married about four and a half f rears, and have three children. The husaand has left his familv three times. ! and each time the wife has sold the goods and returned to her parents. taking back her spouse every time he rntiiriiml- and Inlninv refurnish. Knr. , . , . .- . , , i iiierniore, sue ten mm twice, ivuen ne jn turn sold their common possessions. if nothing had usual way. occurred out of tbe OUNCES OF PREVENTION. Valuable Sasstion for Foad Yoaag Mother nod Father. If you have any reganl for the future health of baby do not fall into the habit of giving him "little tastes" of everv thing. It not onlv disarranges his stoitmcli. hot mrl:es him easili- dws.-itis- fieil with his own- fooiL A cIinil wl)( has never been aijoweii to eat of this J and ti,at j,lst to see whether he likes it t or noU whcn weanP,l WJH sit UD t the t M and eat hs ,)Ircc of b,.ea(l con. tentcdly while the pnudiifgs and pios are passed around him. He does not associate these articles of food with himself but with the larger people and remains satisfied with his own limited bill of fare. We know this is so from experience, and also that the first piece of cake or doughnut given the child will surely be remembered. The littl one who visits much can never be reg ulated in reganl to diet, sleep or in fact any of his habits. We are strongly in favor of keeping babies at home; even visits to grandparents are not always satisfactory. It is much better for grandma to take the little outing which she needs and will enjoy, and visit the baby in its own home. A glance through a railway car will usually fur nish a type of a mother's enjoyment in visiting and traveling. The memory of several such undertakings is yet tresh in our own mind and we can not refrain from advising young mothers to keep the babies quietly at home. Then if sickness comes there will be no vain re grets that the home and its comforts had been left. But visiting with excite ments, unfamiliar surroundings and changes of diet are one thing, and healthful out-door life is another. Every baby should get a breath of fresh air each day unless the weather is severe. In that case it should be wrapped up and the air in the living room entirely changed. Bear this in mind unless your child has grave disease, the longer you nan postpone giving drugs and medicines, the better it will be for the caUii. .BatyAood. PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS. "A friend in need" is doubtles- a good institution, but too many needy friends keeps a fellow continually broke. The Colonel. A man who exercises a profound influence over the C.ar i.- Ivan of Croii stailt. a hermit priest, who is said to perform miracles and whom the Car frequently visits in hi., ninna-tic cell. Old man (at the head of the stairs) 'Hadn't that young man gone yet. Clara?" Daughter "No. papa; are we disturbing you?" Old man "Ye-: the silence down there is oppressive." A" T. Sun. A New York physician says tha the guillotine is the most comfortable . death. Every doctor should have one in his office and thereby save his pa tients much suffering. Muiiwupott Tribune. McQuillen "Vanderoiifs Fre-ieh ! cook doesn't know how to mak cu miuct pie." Curtis "What doe Van i-.iv him?" MeQuillen "$10,001" Cur N "He's worth it." Philadelphia Cut. Police Judge "Young man. ou are charged with agr.wev." "Ye-. and it's an outrage. I'm merelv out of ! employment after having worked o-i sonte of the best papers in the coun try.' "O. you're a newspaper ma-i. eh?" "No. sir: I'm a journalis." Lin--ohi Journal. The cl limant of the authorship of "Beautiful Snow" also claims to be :h inventor of roller skates: but peoide have long ago b-eonie reconciled to :.! fact that the claimants of the miu-h- the paper. At last accounts tin? editor was very low. Tid-Bits. I A sq-iare minister. After one or two gentle efforts on the patt of :Iie collector to awaken Deacon Jon"., th- minister said from the pulpit: -N . - mind. Brother Lavman. as l).-;:co i men. vou can t vote aim vmi c:n t fight." "Cau't tight, can't said, with a cold glare in her eeS. ! "You are a bachelor, ain't you 5" !T.. wun uims ami migrant wiui nowcr: yet just think, it's almost a year." ii - "That's so. I received notit-e fron the landlord this morning tha if I wanted to stay in this house I'd better come around and renew the leae. H-s going to raise the rent on me. :.. Yes. it's nearly a year." "lou accepted a story last week, he said to the editor, sent you by my little daughter, aged fourteen. A - n is very uncertain iu her spelling, an I very sensitive on the subject, she :ike I me to look in and correct it before yo.i print it in your Children's Departm-n'. . 1 see von have it before vou ort v r desk 'Redd lied Gim.' " "Correct: Children's Department!" shrieked the editor. "Why. man. that's the be-t dialect storv we've accepted iu a vear! ' Puck. THE COWARDLY CYCLONE. It ver Tarktr Anj Thins r lt Ouii Six and .Strea-jili. "I -ce." said the old fellow who U ' much :u mtaiutc.1 with the ways of the West, "that the cyclone has bee:ita'-"ng a turn in the South. Do you know tlx.it there's nothing more cowardly than a cyclone?" . Cowardly!" Yes. cowardly. Did you ever kow a cyclone to tackle any thing of its size? Did you ever know a cyclone to make a dash at a great city? No. for that's not tho nature of a cyclone! Wheu is a cyclone happiest? When it can slip up on some little weather boarded town that has just gone to sleep. Then it dances a jig of furious glee. It dashes at the court-house and scatters it about the public square: seizes the Methodist church and slams its life out against the town hall; wrenches the groaning windlass froai the town well and kills the .iayor with it. and then enters upon the frolic of general destruction. But how dos it act when it strikes a great city? It is like the cowboy who, having shot out the lights of a frontier saloon and made himself master of the place, goe-. to a big town and piteously begs for a drink. It gathers up dust and throws it in the eyes of the people, but it does not demolish the chamber of com merce. It howls with cowardly Tage. and then dozes in a vacant lot. Never mind.' it says to itself. I know what I am doing. Yonder is a countryman with a blanket about his shoulders. He lives in a little village out in Iowa. I'll follow him out home. and. after he has gone tc .sleep, 111 pick him up and beat his life out against tho ground. Then 111 go into the village park and tangle the maple trees 'like ocean weeds heaped oa a surf-beaten shore. No, sir." the Westerner continued, there is nothing more cowardly thaa the cyclone.' Arkmnsaw TravtUr. v w i