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About The Red Cloud chief. (Red Cloud, Webster Co., Neb.) 1873-1923 | View Entire Issue (May 23, 1878)
71M t. j
rn ic cmrw.
Tlit nobbwa lesson UBht by life
To every gmt, heroic soul
Who auks to coihjhW In the rtrifc
II self -control.
Uvea of great men all n-m'nd i
Wa cm make ear Htm sublime,
AM, dpertg, leave behind u
Creditors to grieve and pine.
In ib spring the Boston blue-blood
Lightly turn from thoughts of lri
To thn twin Intoxication
Found In dandelion grwi.
Jones had but ona tud habit,
And that wa the nit ho "oh-.
The reason l very apparcnt
It (MM from tho second hand More.
vML Tho entire alphabet U found In theso
Mil$Mt4 ghes the grating oi
low irj !
KSjJJ S3B. nwt . ute.hl. ft
aoald joy to nri bw prate
V Uf sunflower may rise above
Da modt 'tater-vlno
An1 brag about IU Sunday clothe,
An' put on alra so gnat
bat when da winter howl around,
An' d anow Hat at da doah,
De Wf aanflower, oh I whar am he
A Meti boy wa dreaming
Upon hU mmo's lap,
That tha plni fell out of all the start
And the itara fell In hi rap.
80, when hit dream wai ever,
What abould the little boy do I
Why, ha went and looked Into bU rap,
.'' 1-. AIM wumi II wwiliwar,
IfaMTMant thou poof antltlieils of power I
'fSiaU at atlS'lm. vnt rraturn nf an hmirl
t -,-" ' .
.''? By turn ciwuiiHion oi a ttioutami farms,
Th lnr1 nf rmnlrra. M(T (tin fund nf wnrma I
' The little conqueror of a petty'apace,
The mora than mighty are the woraa than bate.
Thou ruln'd landmark In tlia drier t way,
.Between thn all of glory and decay I
f A tackles wight from dungeon fraie
feered forth. Hit glance all hope had fled.
Ha algbed, and cursed bla wretched fate.
Saya be, "I etola loaf of bread."
A wealthy man went riding by,
With coachman, footman and postillion
A merry twinkle In bla eye;
P& - "Aba I" quoth he, "I atole a million."
mi ? iii.i ... lUnro. mv dear." he aald
Unto hli rural bride,
-As through the garden, walk the two
k.JVere (trolling aide by aide.
The little fartnur'a a-lrl looked un.
Ut And "Why!" aha archly aatl.
ftjfi-. -i ..a. a. .a. .. 1 ..... .
"Bacaoae," quum ne, "in you I nam
'' A little hrnvmalit liro.1."
FAUM, OAKDEN AND HUUMEIIOLO.
f - ,. . .
:ife4 . Thla la not the leiwt Imnorinnt mat
kr to farmer of fajruvownorn not
tkloae la the ImporUnue. of having; thorn,
"Jwt lit the poaaibiUty of moans mid nih
CaulJaaAtM ttfttlnti n ttntatit tt..tt
p4 Ia the flrat place, no more fence hould
on ounv m u ro noconaary, aiinougn
tll that aro required should bo con
. Btruetcn. 'ine expense attenaing; tuo
building of a fenoe that la not much
needed la not equaled by. tho Jos of tho
ground occupied by the nnco'; build it
aa It may beat be done, there la no In
Mi considerable atrip of land that Is ren
dered practically tiseleaa. In building
ine icnco, vnen, enro anouiu no taken
that it be of a kind which will occupy
.aa llttlo room m poaalble. Tho old
"worm" fence la expenalve in Hovornl
. wy ways, anii anuum noi no employed, aa
, ,i .there aro many kinds of fuucoa that are
I mj Klltl lliuf MflYtlwaillnM a.mka Km A.u.t..l
wiiiii viiiuimvu vail UD uniliutl
sear to them, and they will not ahake
or damage the crop. Anothor thing to
consider Is the timber question; tho for
eata aro being rapidly destroyed, and It
would seem an act of good judgment to
build fences that consume as little wood
aa possible. There aro few, if any por
tions of tho country which can afford
timber from which to make rails. While
forestry enterprises aro encouraging
tho planting of artlllolal groves, Itnho'd
undertake the preservation of throe now
growing, that they bo not needlessly
destroyed. There aro several ways of
building a fence that economises tho
wood or material usud, A hedge Is
possible, perhaps the chief objection
beng that it is so dense it ciuhU a shad
ow and occupies too much ground; then
wire fences nro economical of wood ma
terial, and occupy less ground than any
other, casting no shadow, and being
aorvleoablo for ofdinarv use
Tho great point is toavu timber and
yet gtt a good fence, mid not havo It
expenalve. These things cannot bo too
carefully considered, and tho farmer bo
too soaloua of his best interests and fu
Thla name Includes several distinct
but similar species of the minute moths
belongBg to iho family Tineldoe. which
In their laryal atato, aro very destruc
tive to woolen goods, fur, hair and aim
liar aubauaoes. Among them may bo
montlbnod the clothes moth flinoa ves
tlanella), the carpet moth (Tinea tap-
ete?l.l?Kth,efur mo,h T' PolHonella),
and the.halr moth (Tinea crlnolla).
Those tineans have slender bodios and
lanceolate freely fringed wings that
expand six or eht-teaths of a. Inch.
Tke an enanf palpi art skort and
Aread-llke, and therels a thick orange
or brown tuft on tho forehead. The
colors range frombuft to drab and dark
y. The eggs are laid In May mS
June (the raoW dying Immediately,
terward), aad hatch out In MteesTdayJ.
Th .young worms at once prooetdo
lirJ.PL' cover ng tkemMlve
wir frW whien theyrtape
Into koUow r3JU art Has with .nir
$ '&A at. i u Ut mre blV "oro carrlotl on
others fMtrio thV;b.tSe:n
JMfd from time to time by additions
to the open extremities and 6y portions
Jet into the .ides, which was split open
for this nurnosa. Tn att. .V...v. iz
SoUrSS?,0!? Wr de'truc
Vtf W s-i to akrvaallil. ..?
'j j.i. . mi arvi uuiiav
transform again in twenty days, and Is
aue from their shelter aa winged moths,
to fly about In the evening tin they havo
paired and am ready to lay eggs. Then
follows an Invasion of dark Hotels,
chests and drawers, edges of cnrpH,
folds of curtain-, and linnginggnrnieuts,
ninl the foundation of a now colony li
Tho enrly dnjs of June should hcrnld
vigorous nnd exterminating wnrfnni
ngninst thrso siibtla pests, Clotots,
wardrolws, all receptacle or clothing,
should he emptied and laid oiten, their
contents thoroiighTy rxpoiea to light
and air, and well brushed nnd shnken
before being replaced. In old hoiises
much infested with moths, all cracks In
floors, wainscots, shelves or furniture
should bo brushed over with spirits f
turpentine. Camphor or tohnccu should
bo placed among all garments, furs,
plumes, etc., when laid nslilu for the
summer. To secure cloth lining of car
nages from tho attacks of moths.spongc
them on both sides with a solution of
corrosive sublimate of mercury In alco
hol, made just strong enough not to
leave a white mark on a black feather.
Moths may bo killed by fumigating tho
article containing them with tobacco
and sulphur, or by putting It, If practi
cable, Into an oven heated to nlHiiit loll
Wfsisl at Natllvf) I wr.
Tho modern mechanic has done away
with much of tho hard work that had
to 1m done a few years since: simplify
ing machinery nnd thus adding to Its
capacity, ho has mado thn detail of la
bor, both in tho shop and on thn farm,
ploasnnter nnd easier. Water was
yoked to tho mill and mado to do tho
heavy work of driving machinery nnd
nutting tho spindles and lathes In mo
tion; it lifted burdens as well as floated
navies. Electricity was tinned nnd
mado the servant of man, becoiulngnnu
of tho most valuable itgentw in tho world
of business or mechaiilcs.nnd each year,
almost each day, nuw Ideas nro novel
oped, nnd now possibilities hlddun in Its
subtlety. Hut among all thesu Improve
ment there nro few things morn valua
ble in general use than tho wind, and
the means employed to harness It down
for man's use. ft Is as free as sunlight
and as powerful as any agent In nature;
as a friend It is bountiful tn benefac
tion, but as an enemy it is mightier for
destruction than armies. Although
wind mills aro an old device, yet the
modern genius of man has so improved
them that they nro now within reach of
all men, and can be utlll.ed in multi
plied ways. All over tho broad laud
can be seen the long arms of this almost
perpetual motion, in its ceaseless turn
ings, doing man's behest. It pumps
thn water, grinds tho grain, churns the
butter, turns tho grindstone, runs tho
aa mill, drives- machinery nnd does
tho work of ninny men, with never n
word of complaint. Thov have become
so valuable on the farm that they are as
common as plows or harvesters. On n
largo farm, with largo hards of live
stock, ono wind mill will do more work,
and In better time, than two or three
men. Farmers aro learning this and
tho demand for them is Increasing. In
many sections of tho West, whore Irri
gation Is needed, they nro Invaluable,
and thus as needs arise, they nro found
to bo tho thing needod and do the work.
Factory ana Farm,
Trees and Moisture.
It has come at last tn bo understood
that trees are essential factors in tho
frultfulness of land. Where they have
nover before grown, as on tho prairies,
they aro being planted, and where they
havo been thoughtlessly destroyed it is
found necessary to replace thorn. It is
not merely that they assist the clouds,
or In somo other wav promote rainfalls.
Thoy haven beneficial effect upon thn
around of tbomsnlvos. Krnm n rint
English work, "Forests and Moisture,"
by Dr. John C. Drown, tho following
brief and conclusive paragraph is ex
tracted: "In a rocky nook, near tho
crest of a mountain in tho Tuscan Ap
penlnes, thore flowed a clear, cool and
porennlal fountain, uniting three dis
tant springs in a single current. Tho
ancient beeches around, and particu
larly abovo tho spring word foiled. On
tho disappearance of tho wood tho
springs ceased to flow, except In a thread
of water in rainy wenthor, greatly Infe
rior in quality to that of tho old fount
ains, Tho beeches wore succeeded by
lira, and as soon as thoy had grown
"tiillolently to shade tho soil, tho springs
began ngnin to flow nnd gradually re
turned to their former abundance nnd
Analngous ftfbtm havo often been ob
sorved In the American clearings; nnd
hence the late revival of care for the
trees and forests. First settlers and
even now purchasers of old farms, are
too prodigal of tho trees. Cooper tho
American novelist, in "Tho I'ionoors"
notices and protests against this waste
ful tendency. Sclontillo obiorvntlon
finds many reasons why tho trees aro
valuable. Tho bouoliclal Influences of
vegetation fas noticed bv Dr. Drown)
go below tho surfaoe. Without trees
tho scanty fountains in tho Apponinos,
and all similar fountains nro tnoro sur
faco water. Tho better wator, which
flows in the shade of tho troos, is filter
ed through the orifices mado bv tho
roots, and thus purlliod. If tho Euro
pean observer could see nnd taste tho
springs In tho cedar forests of Now Jer
sey, he would find that tho water gets
a positive, and by no moans disagreea
ble flavor, from tho roots of tho treos.
It Is, by residents, and by summer visit-
OtTfla QAtoOnAMl Oil that Hmwiiint atinaif..
to the springs which got tholr flavor
vviwb repuisive; iron, minerals ami
Tree mnta arnt romi.Hnn . !.!
kayo another office. They concentrate
we waters in streams and rills and,
where there Is no drainage, in ponds.
The "willow nitlt..n." riniiii.V ,.
sued to furnish materials for boskets.
actually reclaims, to a great extent,
boggy lands. The author before i.a
mentions a ease In which a nlantation
of trees made on the rising borders of
a swamp converted tho low land into a
hoaJthv anil. Horn U & hint - ..
ers clearing a low tract, not so cleanly
w aweop on ine trees as to make arti
ficial drainage necessary. Tho prog
ress of Inquiry into the facta of natural
hUtorV sUlli anl(Bl ft . It Ml I a I mm aa nn.
I I!?S ,tBdy' ?Pel In men's dealing,
with natural tklags, and turned to tke
removal of Unnatural annmallrs, l con
stantly contributing) in practiual ways,
to thn health and comfort of humanity,
Mrtamersksals f riant.
CurlHH as tho doctrines of metamor
phosis maV appear, they are founded on
physiological principles which wo can
iliscoer and appreciate. There I no.
thing surpnlug belief lit the statement
that a stamen Is onfy a leaf transform
ed and modified to execute a special
purpote; nothing Incredible In the fact
of a leaf composed of cellular tluo
being Increased by proper treatment
from a square inch to a square foot In
dimension; but there Is something In
credible, something beyond all ourordi
nary conceptions of tho uniformity of
Nature's workings, In tho statement
that ono plant can Im transmuted Into
another; that, for example, barley may
be converted into oats, or onts Into r)o;
jet Is this doctrine alllrmod upon evi
dence of certain carefully conducted ex
periments. From thn many statements that havo
Itcon published respecting this curious
subject, wo select that of Dr. Weisscn
born. Hi; states: "With reference to
tho transformation of oats into rye, this
remarkable phenomenon .hits not only
Imioii verified by new experiments, but
wo havo earned beds to be sown with
onts, in order that wo may bo ablo to
convince disbelievers, by producing
rye-stalks which havo sprung from
the crown, that shows tlio withered
leaves of thn oat-plant of tho previ
ous year. I repeat that this transform
ation does take place if oats are sown
very Into (about mid-summer,) nnd cut
twice as green fodder before shooting
Into ear, thn consequence of which is
that a considerable number of oat-plants
do tint die In the winter, but are chang
ed tlio following spring Into rye, form
lug stalks that cannot be known from
those of the finest ryo. Wn must expect
that this fact will bo considered bysoino
as a mere assertion, mid that there aro
others still In doubt about It. Let any
one sow oats during the latter end of
June, cut them twice for fodder before
shooting Into ear, nnd tho transforma
tion Inquestion will certainly take place.
The time of sowing the nuts did not for
merly appear of paramount Importance,
nor was it believed that it would make
any difference whether tho oats were
cut morn than twice; in consequence of
which a fow experiments havo failed.
Now, however, wo must conclude that
If tho transformation occasionally takes
place with oats sown too early, that Is
merely an nccident, depending on a pe
culiar state of tho weather or other cas
ualltlcM, whereas the result Is certain If
tho oats are sown toward tho end of
June. If thn soil is too dry about that
time, ono of tho reporters on the sub
ject to tho Agricultural soolotv of Co
burg concludes, from an experiment ho
made, that ono watering, no as tn en
able tho oats to germinate, may be re
commended; although if this is donn re
peatedly, the high temperature of tho
season will cause the plants to grow so
luxuriantly as to require cutting thrco
times to prevent them from forming
their ear, whereby tho object would be
wholly or partially lost. If, however,
among thoso who doubt tho fact tharo
bo found people who pity us because wo
trust more tnnctunl experiment than to
theory, w should almost fol tempted
to plty thoso theorists whose self-sutll-clonoy
has prevented them from thor
oughly investigating an important phe
nomenon which was noticed manv years
ago. Nor can wo commend tho dis
cernment of those who nro unable to
discover in the plants In question both
the preceding year's dry stubble and
leaves of the oats and tho fresh stalks
and loaves of tho ryo. which latter form
In May upon tho crown of tho oat-plant
and produce tlno winter rye. Tho So
ciety (of Coburg) takes credit to Itoclf
for persevoranco In hnvlng struggled
against an opinion of tho public forsov
oral years In order to establish a fact
whloh no physiologist would believe,
because people are always apt to con
found tho laws of nature v 1th those of
The common faith of naturalists is
that what thoy call species is Immuta
ble; In other words, that an animal or
plant will give birth to others onlv of
Its own species. Hut what is species?
Are wo so familiar with Nature's se
crets as to determine absolutely what
are species nnd what varieties S 'lho
advocates for transmutation in plants
do not expect that a cow will ever give
birth to a horso, or that n oak will
spring from tho send of tin apple. Thoy
merely nfllrm that many plants now re
garded as distinct species, or even gen
era, mny bo mndo, under certain condi
tions, to assume tho characteristics of
each other; and they point to tho trans
mutation of onts into rye, both belong
ing to tho samo natural order of Gram
Inn, as evidenco of their assertion.
Curiosities of Plants.
ExtrraTagaare at rSuTcrals.
Tho Methodist ministers of Washing
ton havo been considering extravagance
at funerals, nnd have mado the follow
ing recommendations to their members:
"Thnt wearing of mourning nppnrel
bo restricted to those sustaining tho
noarest relationship to the dead; and
that tho use of crape and other insignia
of mourning at tho funeral be dispensed
with. That in tho choice of a burial
caskot or coflin, and its adornments,
in tho uso of flowora in tho form of
wreaths, crosses, anchors, and bou
quets, a conscientious economy and
commcndablo simplicity bo exercised.
That hacks bo provided only for tho
officiating clergymen, pall-bcarcrs, and
tho family, and that at the closo of tho
funeral servioes In tho church or house,
the bereaved bo allowed to bun their
dead In the privacy of griof. That in
the securing of theso much needed re
forms on the ono hand, persons of
wealth, and all burying societies and
orders that havo accumulated funds,
set an examplo of cgnnomv and sim
plicity; and on the other hand, those
who cannot afford these ncedlosa ox-
Cases, excrejso a manly independence
following tke dictates of their own
eni ana conscience. That all
funorals, especially thoso
banns of musio and showy
act a crowd, and thus Inter-'
tho sanctltv of the dav. bo
avoie ami uisconunuea." Tnese sug
gestions aro worthy of general adoption.
A.f AMftAMHlX'M IUAKT.
John. WlltWra ttUMtN'a .llrMtraN.
( r Ikt. MllllNg r l.lMrolN.
A Was ungton correspondent of the
l,oulvilt Vonrifr Journal has been
eriiiltted to copy thi-e entries from
the diary of John Wilkes Jlooth. They
wore made while ho was fl)fng for his
April, II Friday, tho M.-s. t'ntll
to-day, nothing was out thought of sac
rificing to our country's wrongs. For
six months wn bad worked to capture.
Hut, our causu Ix'lng nlinot lol, some
thing drchdtc and (Trent must bo done.
Hut ts failure was owing to others who
did not strike for their country with a
heart. I struck boldly, and not it the
papers say. I walked with a linn step
through a thousand of Ids friend, wo
stoned but pushed on. A cnlimel was
at his side. I shouted "Hie nrmptrr
before 1 llred. In lumping, broke my
leg. I paHi-d all his pickets, rodo six
ty miles that night, with the bono of
my leg tearing tho llesh at every jump.
I can never repent It. Though un ha
ted to kill, our country owed all her
troubles to him, and (ind simply made
me tho Instrument of his punishment.
Tho country is not what it was. This
forced Union is not what I hate loved.
I caro not what becomes of me. I havo
no desire to outlive my country. This
night, before the deed, I wrote a long
article and left it for one of tho editors
of the National Intelligencer, in which
I fully set our reasons for our proceed
ings. Ho or the South.
Tridny, 21. After being hunted like
a dog through swamiwt, woods, and last
night being chased by gunboats till I
was forced to return, wet, cold and
starving, with every man's hand ngainst
me, I am hero in despair. And for
tired for i
yet I, .for i
upon ns a
hoped to j.
had not or
gain; 1 km
for my coi
hold tho C'
except In r
to clear n
not allow 1 bo printed. So ends all.
For my ctAVtitry 1 havo given up all
that makes life sweet and holv, brought
misery upon mv family, and am sure
thero is no pardon in the heavens for
mo since man condemns me so. I have
only heard of what has been donn (ex
cept what I did mvself,) nnd it flits mo
with horror. Godt try and forgive mo,
and bless my mother. To-night I will
once inoro try the rlvor with tlio inten
tion to cross, though I havo a greater
desire and nlmoit a mind to return to
Washington and in a measure clear my
name, which I feel I can do. I do not
repent tho blow I struck. I mav before
my God, but not to man. I think I havo
done well, though I am abandoned with
the curse of Cain upon me, when, if the
world knew my heart, that one blow
would have made me great, though I
did desire no greatness. To-night f try
to escape these bloodhounds onco more.
Who, who can read his fiitn? God's
will bo done. I have too great a soul
to die like a criminal. Oh, may he,
may ho spare mo that and lot me die
bravely! I bless the entlro world. I
havo never hated or wronged any one.
This last was not a wrong, unless God
deems it so, and It is with Him to damn
or bless mo. And for this bravo boy
Harold, with me, who of ten pray s (yes,
before ami since) with a true and sin
cere heart, was it ciime in him? If so,
why can lie pray tho same? I do not
wish to shed a drop of blood, hut I must
tight the course. 'Tis all that's left mo.
Theso were the last words ho record
ed. The North Pole.
About four years agon farmer of Sur
prise Valley found in the crop of a wild
fiooso n small quantity of grain, tho
ko nf which hu had never before seen.
He planted this grain and it grew and
flourished, producing more than n hun
dred fold. Tho straw antl beardless
head aro said to resemble wheat, while
the grain looks like rye, but is twlco as
largo. The farmer has now many bush
els of this now cereal, and his sent
samples of it to bo planted in various
places in California, where food for cat
tle is not easily obtained at some sea
sons, ns tho stalk of tho now grain, when
cut beforo It is thoroughly ripe, makes
An old sailor of this city, after read
ing an item which has been going the
rounds qf the papers in regard to the
now cereal, the substance of which item
is given above, finds his memory re
freshed. It brlng'to his recollection n
circmustunco ho had almost forgotten,
and has sot him to thinking. He has
thought it nil out, and is now firmly of
the opinion that there is an inhabitable
land at tho north pole.
The old man says ho was ono of the
crow of tho Investigator, Captain Mo
Clurc, which sailed from England In
1850, in company with the Enterprise,
Commander Collinson, in search of Sir
John Franklin, nnd ho certainly has in
his possession ono of the Arctic medals
given by tho English admiralty to all
persons engaged in theso polar expedi
tions from 1818 to 1855.
In September of that year the Invest
igator reached a land which Capt, Mc
Cluro named Daring's Land, and three
dayu after other land, which ho named
after Priuce Albert, and where, about
tho last of tho month they were froton
While at this last named land tho ex
plorers observed many wild geese and
other water-fowl flying southward, and
some of tho geeso stopped at the place
where the ship lay, and soveral wero
killed by members of the crew. In the
crops of come of the geeao I recollect to
have seen, and marveled much at see
ing a considerable quantity of a grain,
such as the new cereal of Surprise Val
loy is said to be. As no such grain is
known in the temperate soue, and as wo
have no account of a grain of the kind
being found in any known region of the
world, he is of tho opinion that the
geese obtained It tn a region lying
about tke open Polar sea.
He says no man has ever yet gone so
far north but he has found wild gee
and other water-fowl thing till further
to the northward. As the gree nro un
doubtedly wending tlfulr way to a well
known -.topping place far to the north,
thero miMt be nomcthlug for them to
fril upon at the point where thev stop.
As wild gt'o no more live on llli than
do tame one, there mint he. In the
country to which they go, gras and
other wgctntluu similar to that found
in temperate region-). The wild geeo
that hall on the I'nclllc co.-tt make the
grain Held their feeding-place, and it Is
not likely that in the land alxnit tho
polo their nature is o changed they
feed upon mes or lish,
Our (dd snllur believes that surround
ing the open Polar sea, Is a country
where trees grow, and where grow ma
ny kinds of gross, and no doubt a few
kinds of grain. The grain found in the
crops of the wild geco was, lie think",
found by tho birds in a far northern
temperate region, upon tho verge of
which men have probably looked, but
into which no man has ever jntnet rated.
He says no doubt all tho country would
lie found waste and desolate for a time
after passing the icy rltn forming tho
southern shore of tlio open Polar sea,
but believes that in sailing onward a
great change would lie found; that af
ter a time a faint green would be found
on tho shore; thai presently hills cloth
ed with green verdure would appear,
and that soon a fruitful and pleasant
land would bo found. Tho land, and
tho islands of the sea, ho believes to bo
Inhabited, and ho thinks It not improb
able that the new cereal, about which
tho people of this coast aro now won
dering, is there cultivated by an un
known race of men as a brcad-stuH".
dglng by Appearances.
Maine was a district of Massa
E.ekiel Whitman was chosen
cut tho district in the Miussa
egislatiirc. Hu was an ecccn
, and one of the best Invvrcnt
io. Ho owned a farm; anil did
rk on his land; and when the
iu for him to sot out for Ilos
est suit of clothes was a suit of
,n. His wife objected to his
that garb, but hu did not care,
get a new null mado as soon as
toston," lie said,
ing Ids destination Whitman
jst at Doollttlo's City Tavern.
understood that ho was ngrad
Harvard, and at this tavern ho
was at homo. As he entered thn par
lor of the house he found suveral ladles
and gentlemen assembled, and heard
the following remark from ono of them:
"Ah hero comes a countryman of the
real homespun. Hero's fun."
Whitman stared at the company nnd
then sat down.
"Say, my friend, are you from tho
country?" remarked one of the genntl
men. "Ya-as," answered Erekiel, with a
ludicrous twist of the face.
"And what do you think of our citv?"
asked one of the ladies.
"It's a pooty thickly settled place,
any how. It's got a nweepin' sight of
housen in it."
"And a good many people too?"
"Ya-as, T should guess so."
"Many people where vou como from?"
"Plenty of ladies, I suppose?"
"Ya-as, a fair sprinkliu.
"And I don't doubt you are quite a
beau among them?"
"Ya-as, f bonus 'em home, tew meet
in' and tew singln' skuwl."
"Perhaps the gentleman from tho
country will tako a glass of wine?"
"Thank'eo. Don't keer if I do "
Tlio wine was brought.
"You must drink a toast."
"O. git cotitl I cat toast, but never
heard of such a thing as driukin' it
but I can give you a sentiment."
The ladies clapped their hands; but
what was their surprise when tho stran
ger; rising, spoke calmly and clearly as
"Ladies and gentlemen, permit me
to wish you health and happiness, with
every blessing earth can afford ; and
mny you grow better and wiser in ad
vancing years, bearing over in mind
that outward appearances are deceitful.
You mistook me, from my dress, for a
country booby; while I, from tho samo
superficial cause, thought you wero la
dies and gentlemen, i'hu mistake has
Ho had finished just when Caleb
Strong, governor of the State, entered
and inquired for Whitman.
"Ah, hero I nm, governor. Glad to
Then turning to the dumbfounded
company ho said:
"Ivvish you a very good evening."
Dead and Wounded.
Otllcinl returns statu that Russian
losses in killed and wounded in the late
war amounted to 89..H04 otllcors nnd
men. Among these wero ton generals
killed and eleven wounded. One princo
of the imperial family and thirty-four
members of the higher nobility of Rus
sia foil on tho Held of battle. Of tho
wounded, 30,825 are already perfectly
recovered and ten thousand mote will
bo ablo to leave the hospitals in tho
next few weeks. Tho proportion of tho
killed and wounded to tho total number
engaged was vory largo, ono out every
six men who wesjt into action being
either injured or left dead on the field
of battle. In the great actions of the
late Franco-Prussian war, the propor
tion of klllod and wounded to men en
gaged was very nearly the same, being
one-sixth in the battle of Worth and
Spicheren, and one-eighth in the battle
of Mara la-Tour. The returns also
show that ono out of every eleven
wounded men received into the Rus
sian hospitals died from the effects of
the injuries received. During the whole
campaign only two men went punished
with death; one for the crime of deser
tion, the other for robbery, accompa
nied with violence. On the other hand,
twenty thousand rewards were given in
the form of decorations, promotions, or
awards of money, the eighth corps,
whick so long held and defended the
SbipkaPass, receiving the greatest pro
portion. Jones Moodily remarks that he al
ways keeps his word. To which Smith
sarcastically replies: ,lOf course you
keep your word; because nobody else
H HMO HOt.
Sunday School Teacher. And wb
did Aaron make a golden calf ? ' at
Sharp Child. Please, miIm. beeau-e
he hadn't got enough gold to tnakf a
Ladies inii-t not read this -j p.u
oj u wop Hppdn pi ujiii ih tiwtit
ii I iiiiiiiow .ij.M.1 juip tH oi Jtqpqi j.n
S 11 piJtov,!! f
A poor womnn coming from n wretch,
ed garret. In an Inlnnd manufacturing
town, for the tir-t time to see the ,.
hore, gazing at the ocean, said she vtv'-s
glad, for onco in her life to some
thing which there was enough of
"Didn't you guarantee that that '
hore would not sbv before the dis
charge of a cannon?'' said a rivalry of
ficer to a horso dealer.
"Yes, I did, and I'll stick to U.Y.T...
plied the horso dealer. "Ho nevcrW- t
till after tho cannon Is tired,"
A little girl of our acquaintance de
sired n piece of blue ribbon, and wai
told that if she wore it she was not to
cry or 'act up.' Her sister refused to
tako her visiting one dav and sho bcjn
to cry, but, on noticing the ribbon, si
"If 1 didn't havo on this riblion I'd
"A vacuum would Iks tho bct thing
for a fellow to fall into, wouldn't it HUP
for then, you know, be wouldn't fall
against anything." "Yes, he would,
though." stoutly nnswered Hill, "hu
would fall against ids inclination." v
Eli Perkins stood looking at one of tly?.
now silver dollars, nnd, seeing on one
side, 'In God wo trust,' and on tho oth
er 'United States of America,' sadly re
marked: I knew we wero becoming
lery wicked in this country, but I nev
er thought that I would live to sou the
day when God and the United States
would bo on opposite sides. Arise and
A story is told of a shrewish Scoiuli
woman, who tried to wean her husbavuil
from tho public house by employing liert
brother to act tho purl of a ghost and
frighten John on Ids way homo.
"Who aroyou?Miald tho guldman as
tho apparition rose beforo him from be
hind I) bush.
I am Auld Nick," wns thn reply.
"Come awn', mon," said John, notb
ing daunted. "Gle's a thake o'sS)itur
hand I mil married too u sister o'
Jones was always complainii.gnf his
wife's memory, and said, "Sho nover
can remember anything; it's awful."
"My wife was just m bad," said his
friend, Drown, "till I found a capital
recipo." "What is it?" said Mr. Jones,
eagerly. "Why," said Drown, "when
over there's anything particular I vnt
the missus to rememlHir, I write it dow n
on a slip of paper nnd gum it on tlio
looking-glass. See?" Jones is now a con
A llttlo grnnd-uephow of Prince His
marck' was sitting tin the Prince's kneo
tho other day, when hu suddenly cried
"Oh, Uncle, I hope I shall be a great
man, like you, when I grow up!"
"Why, my ohlld?" asked his uncle. '
"Dccauso you nro so great, and ev
eryone fears you."
"Wouldn't you rather cveryono loved
Tho child thouglay a moment and then
replied: "No, Uncle; for when people
lovo you, they cheat vou; but when
they fear you, thoy let yon cheat them."
'I he conundrum is now in circulation
"What is tho difference between a
potato and a lemon?" When tho ques
tioned party says ho don't know, the
other says: "Then I don't wont you to
buy any lemons for me;" nnd hero is
where the laugh comes in.
"John," said a doting parent to her
gormandizing son, "do yon renllv think
you can eat tho whole of that pudding
with impunity?" "1 don't know, ma,"
replied young hopeful, "but I guess 1
can with a spoon." ,
Discerning child (who has heard
somo remarks by papa) "Aro vou the
Nurse "Yes, dear."
Child "Well, I am ono of thoso boy s
who can only bo managed by kindness;
so you hnd better get some sponge cake
and oranges at once."
"Do you enjoy this climate?" asked
tho Rocky Mountain guide, as ho lcdJhn
Illinois editor up the steep sides of
Pike's Peako. "Enjoy this climb It!"
echoed tho poor journalist as be gasped
for breath, "no: you bet I don't!" The
guide gazed sadly and pityingly upon
his charge. j
A father, consoling his daughter, who
had lost her husband, said, "1 jVn't
wonder you grieve for him, my cTiild; '
vou will never find his equal." "I don't
know its I can," responded the sobbing
widow, "but I'll do my best!" The fath
er felt comforted.
Hero is a good husiness-.ike epitaph:
"Here lira Jane Smith, wifonf Thomas
Smith, marb'o cutter. This monument
was creeled by her husband a tribute to
her memory and a specimen of his
work. Monuments of tho sauic stvle,
Mere than a Year Without Food. '
The London .Vctr.i savs: "Tho female
anaconda in tho Zoological Gardens
was torn from her homo in South Amer
ica some time in 1876, She was carried
across tho ocean in a narrow box, which
caused her great discomfort, and may
imssibly have i nip aired her difthstion.
n February, 1877, the anaconts was
consigned to her English abode, hut sho
refused to bo comforted or to take any
thing to eat. The dainties which havo
the greatest charm for her, live birds
and other animated trifles, were, hap
pily for them, exhibited in vain.,. Sho
peraeverd in starving herself reatjlutc
ty, not to say sullenly, and we do not
learn that food was thrust upon her
perforce. A few days ago she recover
ed tke taste for living, and gratified her
friends by slaying and swallowing an
unfortunato duck. Sho may now do
very well, for appetite comes as weAat,
but her prolonged fast of at least a
year might prove trying to most ser
pentine constitutions. It would bo in
teresting to know whether the anacon
da's weight has varied at all during her
The ancient Egyptians used toafrluo
the mummies of their ancestors to the
walls of their households. These aro
the earliest instances of ttuckwp men
and women on record.
. i '
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