The Red Cloud chief. (Red Cloud, Webster Co., Neb.) 1873-1923, April 21, 1875, Image 2

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THE RED CLOUD CHIEF
Cloud Chief.
3&iL2i -tHft&!i
HJ?.iHHJ'W,i' t
-J
&
the grrji$ni?i i siut to tiolltc m
ofihe law of nature I tuol casphalr
'caiiy bjc?i U hU randttj witnlustw
with water." Mr. I tat fio!rd hb
dnnk f wter and pfHnlod w-fchhw
argument; lit Mr l! aqdy V ohjtion
w (w troll uien. Th juty 'ouad
for the doftrtdmL
A SorriiKRK pjr reLt th
following- "One gf our cottar fristd
relate s.?Ury tfoa fth tntjdKccnt
fifteenth atnud:nnt recruits. attempt
ing to stml a go. Irtil a ! ttld
n objfouon, and SnaitW rutirwd Tfc
next uithi, during thunder triK ha
The
iL'vusiir.i wt.cki.v at
Red Claud, Nebraska.
Red
K.
I!
li
L. Math Kit & M. IT. Wahn'eii
EDITORS nn.l P30P MOTORS.
'i osixe.ss Dinner on r
Altorncyt at Law.
f SKA LEY,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
W0TA27 PU2LIC AUD SSAL 2STA7S
A3SJJT,
?r. Cloud, Nrbrunl-a.
V'Junty Superintendent oj I'uUic In
struction. A. a.
how:::;.
j ah. lair;
Att'nsys at laaw
AM)
HEAL ESTATE AGENTS.
? Will practice in nil the Conttn o
the. Stale
JUITIATA USS3ASSA
Sobb.. (Sa.quutt
&
Rlocre
1 A XV Y K R S,
LrCOLN, NEBRASKA.
Ono f n will It in att nl.inoi nt cicli
term of tint I)i:rif Court f tlio revr-ul
cnuutii in llio lU';iublic.ui Vullo-. 2 1
f. WILIAOX.
J. S. (JILII.VM,
A1TOIJNI2VS AT LAW,
Wi.yVactico i all the Coarts of the
StJttc.
SS?" Collecli-'n I'lunspt'.y Attended to
OFF CJI3
Red "ttaad.
IN P
T OL-'FICW
Kelt.
2J. 3E2T. STrccuisiEa,
Il'SIAT.
Buys ;ful fdls Western Sfcurilic.i
Ir&r School liomls a Spccinftt.
m
17. X. RICIIAHDSON, J. A. TULLKYi-
O
?ihards6n &. TuIIeys,
1
S"3AL?33TATS 2: :0L'CTI1!G AGSSTS
Wi'J 1-aynnJ J;ll R! I-tlc on Cnnun
ioa. nrfc my taxo ir non-rtsiirnl.-.
'iit'jf uil nttcn ti c'Vuit locfrllf'tii'iiS. Cr
r, uJcoroi!ili,!J."l. All Jcttfrstif inquiry.
on u'lMiir-ji ir.u;uly Hii.w:rcd.
JUID CL.JUJ:, - - - - NEB.
, ?. J 5 I LLC OX,
W)TARY PUBLIC.
r-nvcy:ii-!rff sn 1 all oth-r Notaria!
JJu-i.ic-s t;1! reefivciron;u attention.
j(i-r;ji.sit;itr.-; promptly and ecrra
lr takn. Atidr.'.--.
ItKP OLUI). NCr.UASKA.
W
O'SSJJ-MVAW,
,iiive oprni: peace,
c.
r K07A27 PUBLi: aitd usal istats
AS3X?.
Eivericn Franklin CounJy Nebraska.
it
e- C'?. ' forsilo and tailcriiiRiloncin
Uiela.ciis'olu.
ISTjfX OU"E,
BSOSSUGS, Jul, - ?r.3?2IE!T0S,
111ANKL1N, NEB.
(7.,0'Z Ai-coininodntion Livery and
F.rd ttohhs.
Kcd Cloud, Nebraska.
ALL"1 Y225. - - - ?Arht:r
ioutl Sf2M?t iiutiiirtluii Will tlic
Iini.'Xi;-.
,T!ui haJ htsbecn rcftlcit an.l rfcrr.-rliPtl
hraciii'o' Vntmc c A!cn. Railroad ?I en
..i,1 ,.! I rrtr'ips viit:llt: Itct '"'oud. will find
tmidc accutaaiHl;itK)MS at this Holt-l.
CI.OiKRTOX, NEBRASKA.
wilion
..rropnetor
Qnnft Stahlcs. Uood-Uetls, and Ajaafo
-
'Ar
, -T .c: n- ...
iHcaisfc-iZL'aMin ioe .nines.
Pafconaa of tbo TraveKlng Pub-
3i
"?
i
. .
vol. ir.
STEVENS HOUSE,
STEVENS & DOW,
TtRDI'RIETnR.S.
Gloomington, - - Nebraska.
New IIourc, CloanBcd.o, an
tbinc that's Iyvcly.
every-
2ft?'.Qtape Ic.'jvc this House daily for
all points South, East, and
Wcot.
Good Stabling, in 'connection with
tnc House.
To the travelling Public re would
simply s'jy
"GIVE US A CALL."
JAG OS KOXII.,
CornncrlstSlreetd a Hisliij'J Avjjij
Hastings, Nebraska.
Kc"i on hand at all times the bt Liijuors,
Wi nnl Ri'cr.
KvtTj thinic of the bct (jualily the rnarkft
aflVml. ii'JV,in.
RED CLOUD MILLS.
2&TiY LUMBER
Constantly on hand. All kinds of
uimknsiok lu.mhkk,
fi:xoin.
AND HKIDOK PLANK.
All sold Cheap for Cam.
Call and examine lumber and prices.
Carpenter &, .Buildar
Hid Cloud, Nebraska.
I frejiircil to imiko ctirantos and t.ike
ontr.ict5 lor all kn.js of Luildmci. -7-td
Mesh S- A. Miicsell,
Uroull rrsiiccttully inform the I.iuliof Red
Cluurt nnd vicinity bnt alio i iiro-
it.irodto nxveutu orders for
Bress-Maksrtg
AND
PLAIN SEWING of all Kinds.
On band and for culon fine fU'sortmcnt of
LACES, VEILS,
lvli GLOVES.
LADIES HATS, be.
tfiss S. A. ESUNSELL,
I In V.rNiit'sKuiMins.l
RED CLOUD, - - XEB.
HARNESS SHOP
S. V. Isttdicrar
Is now prepared to do all kinds of work
IN THE
Harness Zin&.
The best of material? m-ed, and all
work warranted!
UCPASHtE.G
Done oti sl"t notice and at reasonable
Prices.
Shop in McNiTTS Store.
Red Clond KebrasKn.
1 C K'
jc su
PT
OjKAIL GiSTIfiKE
FOR IS75.
PurfLiSinirf Ql'auterly. .January
Nifmivr just isucd. atid contains over
liX) Paces, f00 Engravings, descrip
tions of nore th-m 500 of our best
Mowers and Vegetables with diivc-
tionsfor Cultnr-, Colored Plate, etc.
The most useful and- elegnDt Kork of
tjie kind in the world.-Oory 2o ceuts
ior ineyesr. ruoiisueu in xiuusu;
aid Gorman I
Aedtess, JAMES VICK, I
Bocheter, N. Y".
RED
THE ONLY PAPER IN
webster eerr
JAND THE
?
IN THE
REPUBLtCAJV
VALLEY
THE CHIEF,
Is a Weekly Newspaper, published at
Ked Cloud, Webster County, Ne
hraska, and is devoted to the Inter
ests of Webster County, a'nd
SOUTHWEST NEBILVSKA.
Special
all Home a
thing of local
on will be given t
cal matters. Every
or pencral interest
tran?p:nng
in
this and adjoining
counties, will bo accurately reported
at the earliest possible date. ....
During the coming political cam
paign The Chief will support and
labor for the tucccss of the Republican
Patty.
The interests or Immigration will te
looked s ft or, and the publi-her desires
the co ojietations of all who desire to
see Southwest Nebraska settled with
live ad enterprising pioneers. To
this end furnish accounts of the re
sources and capabilities of the so the
best locations still vacaut, and, iu fact,
everything that will tend to induce
unmigraticn.
Hi;
U
P
A portion of our columns will bede-H
-X .
voted to entertaining and miscellan
eous matter for family reading.
UCli
"je
K-7
All who are interested in having a
wide-awake, lively, local ,newpapcr
pultisbeJ in the Itepablicsn Valley
pre invited to cxhalne The Cnn:y
I acij become subscribers.
MATHER 5fARNER,
Editors 3. Precision
- -iSiaaaa''. - -.
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" - '--- .JSUiiii" "Je.- ".Mr -'- - ? ..?" Jjus -- --i V S.SHSSf v5- S. Wfcw &. f-fi'X-f'--- -& 'l!iMBSaani'ailfM'1 " ''
CLOUD, NEBRASKA.
Cira VILLAG3.
AIodi: tne old accustomci iathf with tnnjinjr
tiepp vre so,
The creeD trca arch above our head", and
every branch we knoi:
The nicadqvr ha a tale for uf. the lane its
tOfiei hour.
CorapatiioD in hedse wc.kaH, a friend in ot-
cry floTT4'.
Thchcad-BtonM by Ue ray graves bear
old f.imilliar name.
Kah. as wrclaacc them idly o'er, its flash
of memory claim;!.
There a street teu-h of pathos wakes, Hbrs
luvir.s laurfhi-jr tell.
On ime 'laiint. lore-record! trait, the
. ru;eJrcmcmbsnocdwelU."'w.',
The little child that (tazc up. with wide, bluo
blue whtful evtJ,
Uaconfciou of whit charai for us in their
foft lu?tre li.
Will answer Hith her jujthcr'B emile. or ic
her father's voice.
And in the accent of whoje rii)c our hearts
cau itill rejoice.
The cjttase doors aro t hut thut ne'er clojed
to our step of yore,
Le'ide the cveninsr hearth they talk of us
and our no more.
Oh, ead and stranse. and hard it accins. thrc
are so few to trrect,
A slowly nnd hilently wa traoc the winding
villacc itrceU
Yet. half forgotten a wo stand, amil tho
hauuti" of youth,
Tho jculdon path asscrU for cs its strength of
lore and truth.
Though other pathways woo m now, and
tther boon fnpy ble'.
The home that childhood' halo crowned
claims .'cjiarate tenderness.
Captured by Telegraph.
During the winter of 1SG9 I was
cmploved as nisht operator in the
railroad office at D , Iowa. Tho
principal road between Chicago and
Council BlufTd runs through D ,
and ilm j$raat irregular night trains,
and the constant danger of collision
resulting therefrom, rendered the posi
tion of ntlit operator by no means an
easy one. It may be woll to mention
here, as necessary to the following
story, that besides the railroad olfiec,
there was also at D a bu-inws
oliiceofthe Union Company. This
wc always spoke of as tho "down
town" office.
One stormy night, not far from 1 1
o'clock, I sat at my dek and, for a
wonder, id!. The wiroj had not call
ed for some time, and I was leaning
back in my chair, listennglo the wind
outside and reflecting on the loneliness
of my situation. The Eastern train
ha crossed tho river more than an
hour ago; all the depot officials had
gone home, and so far as I knew. I
was entirely alone in the vast building.
Finally, tirca of thinking, I picked
up tie evening paper, and glanced
listlessly over its columns. Among
other things I read the detailed ac
count of a fearful tragedy that had
occurred fifty miles up the river the
previous night. Thicc raftsmen, well
known as desperate characters in that
vicinity, had entered tho cottage of
one Matthews, a fanner living in an
iscoiatcd'spot had butchered the far
mer and bis children, terribly mal
tifated his wife, and then deparlcd a?
they came, having taken with them
whatever plunder was handy. What
infcre.ted me most was a full descrip
tion of the chief of the villainous tiio,
Tim Lynch. Here it in:
"Five bundled dollars reward will
be pat I for inform U;o:i leading to the
capture, (liad or alive, of Tim Lynch,
the rhig'i'a-lcr of the Mat hews trage
dy. Lynch is a remarkably large man
sis fe-t four inches in height, very
heavy and broid across tho shoulders.
Eyes greenish uray, with a dep scar
ovor the right one. Hair, wiry, black
and bfard of the .-ame color. When
la-t scon he wu dressed tn a black
Ivnsstuh hat, faied army overcoat,
pants of crarjuaii. and heavy boots,
The above reward will be paid to any
on-3 furnixhtiii positive inibruruiou of
his wheieabouts,
Sheriff of Count-."
At the very instant I finished read
ing the adverti-ement. tlure occurred
the most remarkable coincidence that
has ever come under my observation.
I heard a heavy tread on the Mair,
and then the door opened and there
entered Tim Lynch ! The moment t
set eyo upon him I recognized him as
perfectly as if I had known him all my
life. The army overcoat and gray
pauts tucked into the heavy buots, the
massive frame and sbouiders, the
slouched hat pu'L-d down over his
t . ,1-
ngni eye' t0 coni-1 u"e b
tear; above
all, a desperate huatea
look to bis forebodioji countenance
all were uot to be miitaken. I was as
certain of his identity as though he
had stepped forward, pulled off bis
.hat to show n:e the car, and told me
l his name.
To say bat I was not alarmed at
thi sudden and unwelcome intrusion
would be untrue. 1 am cot a brave
Uuao. suu my prc-nt siiuatiOD, alone
in the depot with a hunted murderer,
was by no taeaas reassuring. My heart
bcit violently, but Ircui mere Force of
habit I arose and asicU him to le
seated. While be turned to comply.
I uccee:ed iu coaqueri&j: my cgiutioo
to some ftxtcnt. He drew a chair
noisily fliivrard', aud sit'ing down threw
o'pen his oat, 'displaying- b so doing.
a havynavy revolver stuck intts belt 1
Tbeu uc freed bis mouth of a qaaa'ity
WEDNESDAY. APRIL 21, 1875.
of tobacco juice, and spoke ;
" Voting feller," he paid, motioning
with his head toward the battery,
"that thar machcea is what yCr call a
telegram I tpoc?"
'Well," 1 toswered with a faint
sinHe, intended to be couciliator'
"tbat'a what we send telegrams by."
"Wal, I want yoa to send a message
to a fikud o' mine in Cohoe. I tell
yer aforehand I hain't got no collator
al. Rut I kinder gucs you'd better
trust me, young IVller." (Here he
labVnis"land hignific:iutly on his belt.)
"IiriVtclrit in termbrror erifVoh
venicnt,"
I hastened to say that the charge
could just us well be paid at the other
cod by his friend.
"Utnpli 1 Plaguey little you'll get
o' Jim, 1 reckon. liowaumever, per
ceed." "What is the message, and to whom
is it to go?"
"I want you to tell Jim Fellers, of
Cohoe, that the bull quit here las'
night, and other chccp'll be eloe ou
his heels."
As he delivered this sentence he
looked at me as if he expected me to
be mystified. Rut I thought it best
not to appear so, aud I said carelessly;"
"I suppose you are a dealer in stock
and this is your partner? Ah, sir. the
telegraph helps you fellows out of
many a iharp birg.iin."
"Va'as," he answered, slowly, evi
dently pleased with the way I took it.
"Va'as, that's um. I'm sendin down
a lot o' stock. Bought it dog cheap
over in Genesee yesterday. As purty
a lot as ever you see."
I turned to my instrument. What
was to be done ? Though ours was a
rSilroad office we often sent business
messages ; and if I did as usual How I
should probably get rid of my unwel
come visitor without further trouble.
But in the short conversation with h tm
I had somewhat recovered from my
fir-t alarm, and now conceived the
idc of attempting the capture of Tim
Lynch.
I was only a poor salaried operator,
trying to save enough to marry in the
spring. Five hundred dollars would
do mo a great deal of good just now
to say nothing of the eclat of the
thing. But how was it to be accom
plished ? Here was I, alone in the de
pot with a man big enough to whip
bis weight in such little men as I was
several times over. Any attempt to
secure him single-handed was not to
be thought of. But I could not etcusc
myself, nnd going out, fasten him in.
No: well I knew from the distrustful
look in his face that any proposal of
mine to leave the room would be per
emptorily objected to by him. What
then?
Why, simply this, I would telegraph
Jo the down-town station. Rut alas !
That very day the connection between
the two offices had been cut for re
pairs. It was seldom u-ed at any time
ofcoun-e, Rut what of that? If was
only a question of a few seconds more
time.
All these things went through my
mind with the rapidity of lightning
as I went to the battery. Lynch re
garded me froai the corner of his un
covered eye with a suspicion that
made me shake in my shoes. As "t
sat down be rose aud came to my side.
"Look a-here, yonn'g feller," he
hissed in my car, and his breath was
sickening with the fumes of liquor,
"perhaps ye mean fair cnotich I hope
ye do for ycr own sake. Rut I don't
understand' nothin 'bout theji telly
grams a id I jist want to tell ye that
aer'd better bo squar' for, by the
Eternal U.d! uf ye go back on me I'll
stretch ye on this year floor as stiff as
ever I did a tuio yit !" and I felt the
cold muzzle of his revolver on my
cheek. Perhaps my voice trembled a
little, but I was srill unmoved in Efy
resolution, as 1 replic 1:
"Never fonr, pin- I'll tell bim all
about the stock." He nutterd some
thing to himself, -and still remained
over me.
Vou hive heard, porhap?, how
much character and expression a tele
graph operator can put into his touch.
Why, there were doiraos of different
operators communicating with our
office, snd I could k tell at the instant,
without ever makioc mistake, who
it ww signaling. You eould tell if a
man was nervous from his telegraph
ing JBt as well as ycu could from hts
bandwrifiSg. The call that I sent
hnrying across the State to Council
Bluff?, mu5t have ran-: oat upoa the
ears of the operator like sbreik.
"C. R. Arc you there?'' was what I
asked, and almost instantly eacae back
a reply in the affirmative, Then
with a-trembling hand I rattled off my
message: '"For the love of Gfod, tele
graph to our dowa-town oSee at once.
pai tbem that Lynch is within two
feet of me, and tbey must scad help."
A short pause; as though mj ice
sae cenwnned sotue furprise ud
then came the response: "AUrisatr
which assured we that I seed sot re-
peat
"WL: jprowfcd die dec voice of'
. . - - aaBf- T
Lynch, "are you going to cud uJj
meage?"
"I have fent it. iir."
"What ! Doe all that tickin' mean
what I told you?"
"Yes, and if you will wai fifteen or
twenty minutes, you'll get an answer."
"Wat, I don't know as I want an
answer. Jim, he'll understau' it all
right."
"Rut I'll tell yoo noon whether be'
t tnere or not. bit down.
So Lyndh reluctantly took hi.s icat,
looking around at the doors and win
dows once in while in an uneasy W3y.
I was determined, to take him now, at
any cost ; and I verily believe I should
hare planted myself in his path had
he insisted upon going now.
"What's that sijjnerfy? " Inquired
my companion as the ticking cea-ed,
and I replied that the clerk at Cohoe
had just written off the message ami
sent it out. He seemed satisfied, and
settled back in his chair, where he sat
in sullen silence, his jaw working up
and down a he chewed the wc- d.
0, how slowly tho minutes crept
along ! The suspense terrible. I sat
and watched the minute band of the
clock, and five minutes seemed as ma
ny mouths. My companion seemed
nervous, too. He moved uneasily in
bis chair.
Ain't it about time yer heard from
Jim?" ho asked, at length.
We sfcsll get word from him m a
few moments nQW," I answered, and
fell to watching the clock again Five
minutes moro passed. Lynch got up
and began pacing to and fio across
the room. At length he paused and
said :
"Tick, tick, tick?" tie battery call
ed out, and I listened to the message:
"Keep cooL Gould has gone for the
police." Strange it was, wasu't it,
that I should sit there and talk
through 250 miles of space with a man
not a half a mile from from me.
"I don't believe I'll wait any more.
I've got to see a man down at the
Pennsylvania House, and he'll be abed
if I don't got thar pretty soou."
"Hold on a moment, and I'll see
what they arc up tn," I cried hastily,
and I touched tho key again. "Make
haste," was my message. "I shall
lose him if you do not. Not a moment
to spare." Straightway camo the re
ply, short but encouraging : "A rquad
of police started for the depot five
minutes ago." Thank Heaven I They
ought to be here now. I looked at
Lynch nnd thought of the five hau
dred dollars.
"Wall, what's the word ?" he growl
ed impatiently.
"Your friend is coming." I answer
ed for want of better reply.
"Comin'l Comin'l Wharl '
"Coming to the office at Cohoe. He
probably has an" answejr for you."
"An answer for me? Jim Fellers?
What should he answer for?" Lyuch
stood in stupid thought for a moment,
and then he looked at mc with a dan
gerous light in his eye.
"Look a here, young feller," he
cried, "It's my private opinion you're
lyin' to mo. And efyo are" here he
uttered a horrible oath "I'll cut ycr
skulking heart out I I, don't know
anything about that thar maaheen,
but I swar Jim Fellers hain't nothin'
to answer. Slore like he'd git tp an'
scatter when he heard that message."
He stood glaring at mc as he utter
ed these words, his hand on his revol
ver. I cannot account for it. As I be
fore remarked, 1 am a timid man by
nature. Rur. this action only made me
bolder. Everything depended upon
keeping him a few seconds longer. It
must be done at any cost. I tried a .
new plan.
"What do you mean, sir?" I ehout
ed, rising, "by coming into this office
and talking in that style ? Do you
think I'll endure it ? Leave this room
at once, sir, or I'll" and I advanced
threateningly toward him. Mv unex
pected attitude seemed to aurise bim
moro tlian anything else, bat silenced
his suspicions. He put his bands in
his pockets and delivered a loud Iurh
in my face.
"Wal, wal, my bantura, ye need not
get so cantankerous. Who'd thought
such a little breeches as yoa had tieh
spW? Haw! haw I haw! Why I
could chaw yen ap 'thoat making two
bites of ye."
"Well, sir," I said still apparently
unmollified "either sit down and hold
your tongue, or'efcbTestre the ofice."
Aud he good natsredbj complk-d.
Once more ws were sittiag aud Iirt
eaing to the Uckingof the clock as the
minuted dragged their slow length
along. Would help sever come ? Three
micales more. Great Hparetu ! The
suspense wm becoming Intolerable. I
must go to the tair and listen if I die j
for it. I arose aad took a step toward
the door, but a tmcc stopped mc
J'HqWT sWeLfacii, Kaadiag
uprizht, all hi vufOdam arossed
oacessore; "jar eaa't k af that
door afore taa. Coaat hack kcra I"
vvaw Mt mv, arar iae jneraal
-"
MtfttejtteCai mmmk Imkti mi'mm
NO- 3G-
in the face. He utool now half tarncd
from the door, and I was facing it.
Slowly and without a particle of trtiM
I saw the knob turn and a Cjcj under
a blue cap peep in. Thank God . Hol,
had come ! I full a joy uncou'rolLble
come over me. I mut keep the mur
derer's attention an instant longer,
until some one cou'd spring upon him
from Mtind. I walked tr3i;ht up to
him, but hit quick ear bad caught a
movement behind. As he turned with
au oath, I .pranjc upon him. and lore
down his arm just as the rtvolver went
off, the ball burying itself barmluly
iu the floor. Rcfore he could fr?c him
self from my grap, hall a dozen offi
cers were upon him and he was quick
ly secured.
The next morning the papers were
filled with glowing account-of the cap
ture of the murder, and praise of my
conduct. The principal busne.-s men
of the town made up a pure of $5
and presented it to mc; and this with
the reward thai was paid mo the fol
lowing week, enabled me to get mt
ried at Christmas. Rut I shudder at
the remembrance of that half hour I
spent alone with Tim Lynch ; aud I
don't think $l,lK) would tempt mc to
go through it ogam.
auaaauwawaT-waa
A llcsstroz: Stcry.
The Bloomingtun inf "jrnph lays:
"Mr. Damon, a gciitleuian soiling
shoes for a lending manufactory of
Worcester, .Mass, was in the city yes
terday, and in addiii n to his other
baggage brought with him and cxltib
ited to a few admiring friends a shoe
that has done good service on the foot
of a reigning belle of Sun Ju.iky Ohio.
This delicate souvenir tublit well Ikj
placed in comparison with the glats
slipper lb tt compressed the arching
intep of Cinderilla. The Sandusky
belle's is numbered '17, extra large,'
is only fourteen inches frou! too to
heel, and six inches across the broad
est part of the sole, and its former oc
cupant is not hnppy, for the other
shoe is ji-t like it, and her feet grow
one siao every year. She is only six
teen years old just budding into wo
manhood. We shudder a? we contem
plate the result should she live to a
good old age and keep up her pedal
developcment.
"Iu addition to tho main edifice
(hero is a bay window on the east side
of the gaiter, to accommodate a few
exotic bunions, and an extcnsivo corn
patch to the west A back porch has
also been constructed on the heel to
protect its growth in that direction,
while one tiny toe nail has cut a gash
like a sp&dc j!ah out into daj light on
the northernmost point of the struc
ture. "Tho girl only woih? eighty-five
pounds, and fca received acorumisiioa
to go West next summer to tramp
grasshoppers iu Cahiradu."
MMVWMM.MMM.
Z?o;:aj Tarcm.
An equestrian, traveling over an old
turnpike, drew rein at tnidl y before
an extensive but dilapidated pubhc
house, heralded by a lofty Mgn, bear
ing, in faded letters, the inscription,
"Entert.inment for .Man and Ikast."
To a toW'hcadcd urchin, Bwiigin
upon tho front gate, he addrcjsed
himself:
'JToy " willyuu jtskc my horse and
give him half a peck of oats?"
"Don't keep no grain,"
'No grain ! Well, then, j;ive
hors2 some good hay."
"Don't keep no hay, nuthcr.'"
"No hay nor graia ! Ou what
my
ao
yoa feed your horses?"
"Don't keep uo horses."
"I would like some dinner. Can I
have meat and potatoes without de
lay?" "Don't keep no meat-barrel, since
wc don't keep no bog."
"Then I will take a Inoeh of bread'
and milk, or bread and butter."
"Don't keep bo butter nor mhk,
since we don't keep do cow."
"Pray, my lad. what do you keep?"
"Keep tnter n."
i A Sjcsii SUsI
The fccoe was a court-room in
Grand Island several years ago. All
the lawyers of the place were employ
ed on one tvU and a 3Ir. Handy vol
ucteerjd for the defendant. The law
yers were nLt5fying the Judge with
legal acumen, Mr. Handy was work
ing oa geaeral priadples. Or.e of the
lawyers (cow Judge Piatt) arose to
address the jury, aad comiaecced bis
arzumect by takiag a driak of water,
Mr Handy primpdy aroc to hU
feet and objected to Mr. Piatt's pre-
cecamg who liis argOBieat. Xr. Jora?prmg; 4t tije doakey
Matte turned with all the xsurnce two .kick ou hi kcM as .rdWfStiar
of a lawyer well poited aod demanded 0ir an eeUak taeat. That eJd
that Mr Ijaadttate his objectiocs. the cosiest, the di&Uj bcigaai-
A dead sueace prevaHedia Uecort- Ptely vietMSbas.
rooai. The faU of a pea woa'I hare Taechndrca ia Florida my tWK
created a racket. The eoart leie4M ffk'Vtfcs 'hw U
sfihtf j forward. a8 atteatioa. 3It ar the wiaser.
mimiitmamg the m. aaii: Jft5lW-a;
tfca wt ake tie hs of a tare are
sertAialr paravaaat ta thm Ur.J
or U-riUctitr 1A im tXJ -.
. - - r" - -
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stamped it ,f!fi, atid lii he was.
tin the jKiint ef gettiwg y with hb
bird, the hlai. tfiKk okre by.
Druptug thtf jrrw, be started awsy.
uiuttrin 'Pai mc dr ata a
mighty let ot'fuaj a-!. ut a cvur
mon gHe. "
A man who a aiovl to Ut
hung wa. vUitl by hU wf, whold
"My dar, watiJd yotrHU lbochildrB'
o : ytm eieoufod "No. rcn
he. "Tha's j.Ht Kke you.V d he,
"j-ou never wanted tba ohildrjn to
have any enjoyment."
Tlte Providence ',r saj s It novcr
heard in funcrd oration or crnj.in,
at;d snldoui in private conversation,
the ojiiioti tfjprutd tht a trMu with
$lU,iXOiaoomc hid gtn to ball
A Nera.li Wvjmtn roceutly knock
ed down srf-ven bursars u-i after an
other. Her hu-hnnd watchetl her
from the top of the .?irs, atl felt o
brimful of battle that he couldn't coo!
off until he had jerked ht eight .year
old boy out of bl aud "wlsalud" him
soundly for not getting up and helping
his mothor.
A boy will l.Mrn more true wivltuu
in a public Hikxil in a yc-tr than by a
private education in five. It Knot
for ma-tcr, but I rum their cpt L;
that youth leuru a knowledge of the
world.
It is raided of n certain miuiaer,
who as netwl for P.m Joiyj jjrfflons
with many divUiotk. that one day,
wjicii uv wu jwv-a-urii.g among liti
teen, he rouehad at luiigth a kind of
re.it in? j)I.c in his diMX)ur4C; whuti,
p:iuidg to ta'.-e broath. ho R'ked the
qteti.in: "And what .-hall I my
moru? ' A voice twin the congrega
tion oarne.tly i'jpohde lt Say
'Amen!'"
Summor is lookt'U in ut the iloc'r.
Now get ready for bu in.. To-s off
surplu; clothing, straighten out your
musolesnuJ gtt yojir hufr trimmed.
Overhaul your csiablbhm.a. frjhen
up your siok in trij and tear dovrc
tho weather protection diioris. Open
tho ventilitorir, thru7 up tho windows
ami let the sweet sunhiue of heaven
strcaui in. Put on new paint, get up
new Mgns. let the pring of yu'ir heart
bubble up, and advartiie. Ex.
Said an rxnpi!rnt'd husband :
"When I and my wifo aro alone I em
boss our eubliahtncnt arid h.v every
thing my own way, when her mother
is around, I aiu not even recognized as
a stockholder iu the crncurn."
'Stranger don't your face ache?'
asked a tavern lounger cl' a traveler
who rode up t.t the jwuh. Sn; why
do you ak V :'(ui it look- ao awfaf
ugly I thought it tuujt hurt you".'
It has p-notratc'l bVyon' tho.loruer.
In Moutrtt.il, Jat week, ayoangmaa
of 1'J and three girl of 17, IC and IS,
rcpf'tivc1, wte trr.istcJ on Shar-
brooke ?ticet at nooti, fjr "kuitngand
playing with each olhsr, ao I obtnfct
ing the : l.wtlk." The alkr.t nia.i
istrat: fined th mtlcm-mScr of the
q'nrtct five d'j!ktr and diMiifn-1 the
three feu-'dv4; and, a? thayoungen
t!uim couldn't ratio fr'e djr.-,. he
wxs sent to jail for a tno&th.
A witty pa tor on"e remerked that
there waf jaa as much family govern'
incut now a e?er ; but fwrto.;rly parent-
govemd cbL'Jrcn, now children'
govern parent.
The l.iteai inioot atcusment U
termed the "Printer' Dilijcht," anl'
i? purforinffd ia tbs following taioner:
Take a she-t of note paper, fold it
carefully and inoijse a brik rrjto uil
rimtly large to joy cp arrears, and a
year in advance. And what add i
cferrjcly to the feat U to send aloof
the name of a n w cuD9riber with
cash to baUnce. Keep your eye on,
the priater, ad if you detect a swiUt,
the trick U a sccc.s. Try it I
The VnnU no: the king of beasts..
The uWicnjr i. Sshool chiWrca ariU
f!eaic revl-'e t!"?ir reader, croBf
out the awcrtion ia t-tslf ct the iioa.
In Cincinnati, th other dj, aa ewap
ed fioo attacked a donkey, takiag '
mean adratstage at that by stttdctnjr
hTm ia tSia rearT h wa? a TittS donkc
too; but the pltfcky beiir tStotetw:
bit anOant, grabbed him in the Wk'
with his twtb and hook bint. Tha
lha ran away, asJ the dcAcy ffH.a
and shook himself, aa exprea? ef
ainglfi surprii aad dUgnst oa'HtT
countenssce. Tls is ara aJt aPf ho-,
ever. The aciaiaht caaiu inrAr
3ao rfircciJy, 'aad the Iioa prefred'
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