Image provided by: University of Nebraska-Lincoln Libraries, Lincoln, NE
About The Red Cloud chief. (Red Cloud, Webster Co., Neb.) 1873-1923 | View Entire Issue (April 21, 1875)
"P V -
--' -V.- -e. iJi5
-9r .J ,.-
'.. - "
- - H !..-
,-, -?., '-jSCBSf
THE RED CLOUD CHIEF
vvzx.ifinr.h wecklv at
Red Chud, Nebraska. -
L. Math r.u k M. n. Warner
EDITORS and T20PUIKT0RS.
v hsix j;ss Din ncron r
Attorney at Law-
H SKA LEY,
ATTORNIIY AT LAW,
KOTAIiT ZUZ'iZZ AITO E2AL XS7A7Z
i". Cloud, Nebraska.
County SiiperiiitciiJait oj 1'ublic In
struction. k. a
J AH. hAlP.D
&it?ixcys at Law
1U:L ESTATE AGENTS.
SOT iVill practice in all the Cotntxo
3obb. fSa.quutt & ftocre
I A 7 Y E R S,
One of n !!! lo in att wlnc! at each
term of tliH Jt- rif f urt of the revra!
cojutu'f iu ij0 Kc:Kiblic.u Vullr. 2 1
J. P. fULHW.
attorneys at law,
Wi.lJartiec in al! the Courts of tin
EST Co'leeti-n PimupOy Attended to
OFF azz IN P
2 EC. STrccsjsars,
M'lls Western Securities
Boittls a Shccinltu.
X. UlCriAKUsjON, J. A. TUU.KV.-
Rhardson &, Tulieys,
A?IM 1 ay t1 rcll U-l F.t tc on Ct.mmi'
ci a. .i- uy t.ixe Ur noa-rvilt,nU.
t'jr 1 THcnri cfua ticllf-iiiiS. Cor
r .. t.ot hrittil. Ail Jct!rstif imiuir.
ji;:dcl,;uj-, - - - - :eu.
, 7?. J? ILLCO-Y,
C'iver ii.:' s: J nil othor Notnria!
JJu-i :e- .! rcorivc prosi'nt attt'iition.
JSsy!'- Mt..ns promptly antj ccrra.i.
Jr tak'Mj. Atidriy---.
i:h.r ol a2. :;ei:iiasi: a.
r Korir ru2L:: a-td sial isiais
, 5- C ii' fof silc and tailoriiiB ilone iu
ktStk. u ow"2:9
SSCSC-3.2U:H, ;un., - - ?S3r2S!:03,
(7x' .ltxoJio7i"H, Livery ami
Ketl Cloud, Nebraska.
tiutl l(':i in t'ittnTf luti wislt the
TkV hoJa.' hb?cn rcr:tcil nn! rrfsTn:-"hrt
' liiMUKurtt .nnu c- .!cn.Kaitrona ea
a.i.l ri.l rfSr'icsN-iRitTliff Ho.1 ,'oaii. Will find
f nuijdc uccoanufdaUoiis at lhh UottL
CLDf KRTON, NEBRASKA.
WlLiox : rropTietor
Ponne of too Aracr.iog'Pub
STEVENS & DOW,
Cloomington, - - Nebraska.
New IIoubc, CItanmBcd.c, and
thing that's Lov jy.
2f-tarc leave thi? llone daily for
all points South, East, and
Good Stabling in
To the travellinr Public trc would
CornncrlstStreetd a HMni Avjhj
fvpfj) on hanil at all time? tbc h IiiqnorB.
V if nrl IS cr.
EcrjthinK'f tbe bctiUality tbc fnarkrt
RED CLOUD MILLS.
Constantly on hand. All kindd of
AND IUJ1DOE PLANK.
All fcold Cheap for Cam.
ILtll and examine lumber and prices.
Carpenter &. .Suiidar
I prepared to inako c?tirantM and take
' ontrac!5 lor all hit. js of buildmi. 17-td
MLsh S. A. IsiKsell,
Viul 1 rrstiocttutly infrro the I.ndi-J ofltcd
C'louii uad vlntilu bat ih3 U vitt-
liurcdu- nxecute order for
PLAIN SEWING of all Kinds
On baud and for mlv a tine nortnientof
LADIES HATS, kc.
fin 5!rNitt's Kuildinir.l
RED CLOUD, - - XEB.
S. V. IudIow
fs now prepared to do all kinds of work
The best of materials Ufed, and all
Oone ou sln notice aud al reasof able
Shoi in McNitt's Store.
Red Cloud XebrasKn.
VV m.ISJH Y.f Q rAUTSK ly. .January
Nu"mtcr just iuedv a"d contains over
lit) Pi:cs, 500 Engravings descrip
rions of nore ihnoUO of our best
Flowers and Vegetables, with direc
tions for Ouhur , Colored Plate, etc.
The mot useful and elegant Kork of
tde kind in tue wpr a.un.y ecuia ,
lunuu vear. ruumurvi iu uui;"u'
Aedress, JAMES TICK,
Hochec ter, jt. 1
THE ONLY PAPER IN
Is a Weekly Newspaper, published at
Red Cloud, Web-.ter County, Ne
braska, and is devoted to the Inter
cuts of Webster County, and
all Home a -thing
counties, will b
on will be given t
cal matters. Every
or general interest
this and adjoining
j accurately reported
.tt the earliest possible date.
During the coming political cam
paign Tin: Chief will support and
labor for the success cf thelvipublican
The interests of Immigration will be
looked after, and the publi-her desires
the co operations of all who desire to
sec Southwest Nebraska settled with
live ad enterprising pioneers. To
f-this end furnish accounts of the re
sources and capabilities of the soiv, the
best location still vacaut, and, in fact,
everything that will tend to induce
A portion of our column will bede
voted to entertaining and miscellan
eous matter for iaimiy reading.
Ail who are interested in having
wide-awake, lively, laeal newspaper
published in the Bepablican Valley
arc invited to examine The CarEr
ac.j become robscribers
MATHER WARXEB, '
Editors 5. Projmetars
AIob? lb? old srctJjtoaci path with nituintr
stepf wc :ro.
i-The RrecB trcw arch abore our beads, and
rv7 branch wekn6':
The meadow Lai a tale far ur. the Uae iu
Companion in bedse we hall, a friend ia ct-
Thchcad-ston bj- tbe S7zy praTc bear
old familliar name.
Kah. a? we clanee them idly o'er, it! Cafh
of mcaoTT claim!.
There a sweet tenh of pjtho wakes, Hfcrs
lorir.s Sahter tell'.
Ok imae 'Uiunt, lo fit-recorded trait, the
Tbe little child that gnzc? urrwlth wiie, blue
blue wistful eve.
Unconf c:a (if whit cLinn for u? in their
oft lu'tre lie.
Will annrcr with her uwther'e tiuile, or in
her father' voice.
And in tbe accents of who?e ring our hearts
can still rtjoicc
The cttace doore are but that ne'er cloiol
to our ?tepe of jnrf.
l)eidc the eveuinr hearth they talk of cs
and ua no more.
Mil .Mil .! s.va.-. ...'. k.fcl J..... M A W
are so few to jfrect, I
A !ow!r end rilently wc trasc ths winding j
Vet. half forgotten at ire rtar.d, amiJ the
hHuutt of joutb.
Tbo golden path a??crU for cs Its strnith of
lore and truth.
Thooch other patimnys woo a now, and
other booru aj?y blew,
Tbe home that childhood!! halo crown:d
claims separate tendernci.
Captured b Telsgraph.
During the winter of 100 I was
cmploved a3 niht epprator in the
rjilroad office at D , Iowa Tin1
principal road between Cbicairo and
Council Blufld runs through D ,
and the great irregular n'ght train5,
and the constant danger of collision
resulting therefrom, rendered the posi
tion of night operator by no means aD
easy one. It may be woll to mention
here, as necessary to the following
story, that, boides the railroad office,
there wa also at D a bu-iru-i
office of the Union Company. This
wc always tpoke of as the "down
Ose stormy r.Tght, not fur from II
o'clock, I sat at my de k and, for a
wonder, id! Hie wired had not call
ed for some time, and 1 wa leaning
back in my chair, listening to the wind
outside and rtfl;cting on the loneliues
of my situation. The Eastern train
ha creased the river more than an
hour ago; all the depot officials had
gone home, and so far as I knew, I
was entirely alone in the vast building.
Finally, tired of thinking, I picked
up tl e evening paper, and glanced
listlessly over its columns. Among
other things I read the detailed ac
count of a fearful tragedy that bad
occurred fifty miles up the river the
previous night. Thicc raftsmen, well
known jis desperate characters in that
vicinity, had entered the cottage of
one Matthew, a farmer" living in an
isco'.jtcd'sp'jt had butchered the far
mer and Lis children, terribly mal-tic-ated
bi-j wife, and then departed as
they came, having taken with them
whatever plunder was handy. What
:nfcreted me mo.-t wa a full descrip
tion of the chief of the villainous trio,
Tim Lyneh. ilere it is :
"Five hundred dollars reward will
be p.:tl for in.'jr:ut.o:i leading to tbe
capture, dfad or alivf. of fim Lynch,
the riiii't-ader of the Mat hews trage
dy. Lynch is a remarkably large man
sis fc-t four inches in hcicbt, very
I heavy ami oroid across the shoulders.
byes grecm-h uray, w 11 h a deep scar
ov'r the nglit one. Hir. wiry, black
and btard of the same color. W hen
la't sen:) he was dressed in a black
)'Ksmu!i hat, fa led army overcoat.
pants ot nrirjn. and besvy boots,
f he above reward will be :aid to any
on? furnish -tl.: positive mtyrmitiou of
ShcritT of County."
At the very instant I finished read
ing the adverti-ement. there occurred
the most remarkable coincidence that
has ever come under my observation.
I heard a heavy tread on the stair,
aud then the door opened and there
entered Tim Lynch ! The momeut I
set syes upon him I recognized him as
perficthjus if I had known him all my
life. The army overcoat and gray
pants tucked iuto the heavy bxits, the
masive frame and shoulders, the
l.i..nl.n-l v. H.I 7s 1 I
t right eye, to conceal-I was ture the
scar; above ail, a cesperate hunted
. ... ...
look to his ibrcbtnliag couateaance-
all were not to be miitiiken. I was a-
certain of bis identity as thougn he
ii . t i . "-,.
had steppca forward, pulled on his
. A ., ...
K.'mjU. w..l,. o.J ,M
,. v ... -- "-. -, "u wr- as
Vt; .., J
To say hat I was not alarmed at
thi sudden and unwucome intrusion
would be untrue. I am cot a brave
Lman, sad my pre-rnt situation, alone
in the depot with a nanted murderer,
was by no means reassuring. My heart
: i . . -- i i i r- i
j uea vio.enuy, out irom niere torce oi
nsisilyfjrvSrdv and sli'imjdown threw I
O'pen bis-eoa., cTsphying 1 so doing,
j a h-avy navy revolver stack m"his belt I
Theacc freed bis iajaLu of a qsaa'ity
a j habit I arose and askcl him to be rTi .t.. .l.. t r. -.. -
.seated. . hik he turne-J to comply, feetofme, and hey ma,! d help."
I succored m conqaeriD? my cgiution a shorl passe, as tbocgh m? kS-
A to some ixtcnt. JJe drew a chair ! -, -,-,? - - . j
-,.. -. t -
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 21, 1875.
cf toltaTo juice, nnd .poke :
"Toting feller," he said, motioning
with his head torard the battery,
"that thar machcen i what ycr call
telegram I tioic?"
'Well," 1 iD-rcrt-1 Ttiih a faint
Rnv.le, intended to be conciliatory,
'tbttt'b what we send tclegraiui by."
"Wal, I want you to nd a njeac
to a friend o' mine in Coboe. 1 tell
jer arorchand I hain't got no collator-
al Hut I binder guea-- you'd better
tru.it uis, young Udler. (Here he
lalkhisliand afgnificnutly on his belt.)
"Df t'iiPff it in teFmorro: tf ifcon
venienL" 1 hastened to say that the charge
could juat as well be paid at the other
cad by his friend.
"Umph I Plai?uey little you'll get
o Jim, 1 reckon. Howcumevcr, per
ceed." "What i-j the message, and to whom
is it to go?"
''I want you to tell Jim Fellers, of
Cohoe, that the bull juit here li3
night, and otber rbeep'll be doe ou
As he d-dhered this Ecutence he
looked at me a if he expected me to
be mystified. But I thought it best
not to appear so, aud I said carelessly;
"I suppose you are a dealer in stock
and this is your jrirtner? Ah, sir. the
telegraph helps you fellows out of
many a sharp birg.tin."
"iVas," he answered, slowly, evi
dently pleased with the way I took it.
"Was, tint's urn. I'm sendiu' down
a lot o' stock. Bought it dog cheap
over in Genesee yesterday. As purty
a lot as ever you see."
I turned to my in-trument. What
was to be done ? Though ours was a
railroad office we often sent business
messages ; and if I did as usual tlow I
should probably get rid of ray unwel
come visitor without further trouble.
But iu the short conversation with h im
I bad somewhat recovered from my
first alarm, and now conceived the
idea of attempting the capture of Tim
I was only a poor salaried operator,
trying to save enough to marry in the
spring. Five hundred dollars would
do me a great deal of good just now
to say nothing of the eclat of the
thing. But how was it to be accoiu
plish"d ? Here was I, alone in the de
put with a man big enough to whip
bis weight in snch little men a.s I was
several times over. Any attempt to
secure him single-handed was not to
be thought of. But I could not eJcuse
myself, and going out, fasten him in.
No: well I knew from the distrustful
look in his face that any proposal of
mine to leai'e the room would be" per
emptorily objected to by him. What
Why, simply this, I would telegraph
Jo the down-town station. But alas !
That very day the connection between
the two offices had been cut for re
pairs. It was seldom ued at any time
of course, But what of that? It was
only a question of a few seconds, more
All these thincs went through my
mind with tbe rapidity of lightning
as I went to the battery. Lynch re
garded me froai the corner of his un
covered eye with a suspicion that
made me shake in my shoes. As t
sat down he rose aud came to my 6idc.
"Look a-here, yonng feller," he
hissed in my car, and his breath was
sickening with the fumes of liquor,
"perhaps ye nifan fair enouch I hope
ye do for ycr own sake. But I don't
uuder.-iaud' uothin' 'bout theji telly
grams s id I j'st want ro tell ye that
a-.'r'd better be squar' for, by the
Eternal God! f ye go back on me I'll
stretch ye on thi year floor as stiff as
ever I did a mio yil !" and I felt the
cold muzz'e of his revolver on ny
cheek. Perhaps my voice trembled a
little, bat I was still unmoved la riy
re-o'utbn. as I replic 1:
"rtever foHr, Firr I'll tell him all
about the stock." He rautterd some
thing to himself, and still remained
You have heard, perhaps, how
much characUT and expression a tele
graph operator can put into his touch.
Why, there were donos of different
W , u' 7 K, - T
uiiicc. uu x. luuiu ion aL nif tncranr
-, . ,. . , .
without ever making a mistake, who I
it wa signaling. Yon could tell if a
man was aervoas from bis telegraph
Jo? J8t as weu as vco could from hia
U j .- , - .; . , uu"
uandwntiig. The call that I mm
s. - .MWti.,Mfe. 0 uju wi A Benl
l, - . ., c .. r, -,
"".'"f, - mc oais ? VOunCU
Blufs. muK have nine oat upoa tbe
ears of the operator uke a shreik.
"a B Are you there?'7 was -nt I
asked, and almost instantly eanae back
h a trembHn- htisd I rattled off my !
jae -For ti !nr, nf f&l sL
a tL'i i uie amnuaiive. inon
-- w. w. -. i
ph oar down.town oSce t once.
3t! OCTlsloasd tns cnrtin. .?
then case the resnoasc : "ATlTlitf'
& &,& e that I ed m :
Yai," growled tie deep Twee or
tta&&fei - V-l-- -aipiy." - ' -aawwMaM
Sfci5S- aaj-' '"'" ' ,rft ' ' "" a - iz!LteZJmmmmr
Lynch, "arc you going to :nd ui
4I have wnt it, sir."
"What ! Doe all that tickin mean
what I told you?"
"Yes, and if yuu will nai fifteen or
twenty minutes, you'll get an anwer."
'Wal, I don't know a I want an
answer. Jim, he'll uudcrstao' it all
"But I'll tell you aoon whether he'
t-nere or noL Sit down.
So Lynda reluctantly took hi., scat,
looking around at the door and win
dows once in while in an uneay way.
I wa determined to take hitn now, at
any cost , and I erily believe I should
have planted mystelf in his path had
be insisted upon going now.
"What's that signerfy?" Imfc!red
my companion as the ticking ceased,
and I replied that the clerk at Cuhoe
had just written off the message and
sent it out He emed sati-fjed, and
settled back in his chair, where he sat
in sullen silence, his jjtrs working up
and down a he chewed the we d.
O, how tdottly the minutes crept
along! Tbe suspense terrible. I sat
and watched the minute hand of the
clock, and five minutes seemed a ma-
ny months. My companion seemed
nervous, too. He moved uucasii in j
Ain't it about time yer heard from
Jim?" he a.ked, at length.
We bbsl! get word from him in a
few moments now," I answered, and
fell to watching the clock again Five
minutes more passed. Lynch gat up
and began pacing to and fto across
tbc room. At length he paused aud
"Tick, tick, tick?" tie battery call
ed out, and I listened to the message :
"Keep cooL Gould has gone for the
police." Strange it was, wasu't it,
that I should sit there and talk
through 250 miles of space with a man
not a half a mile from from me.
"I don't believe I'll wait any more.
I've got to sec a moo down at the
Pennsylvania Uoue, and he'll be abed
if I don't got thar pretty boon."
"Hold on a moment, and I'll see
what they are up to," cried hastily,
and I touched the key again. "Make
haste," was my message. "I shall
lose him if you do not, Not a moment
to spare." Straightway caine the re
ply, short but encouraging: "A squad j
of police started for the depot five
minutes ago." Thank Heaven! They
ought to be here now. I looked at
Lynch uid thought of the five hun
"Wall, what'a the worJ ?" he growl
"Your friend is coming." I answer
ed for want of better reply.
"Comin'l Comin'! Wharl '
"Coming to the office at Cohoe. He
probably has an ansfre for you."
"An answer for me? Jim Feller?
What should he answer for? ' Lyuch
stood in stupid thought for a moment,
and then he looked at mc with a dan
gerous light in his eye.
"Look a' here, young feller," he
cried, "it's my private opinion you're
lyin' to me. And efye are" here he
uttered a horrible oath "I'll cut ycr
skulking heart out! 1 dou't know
anything about that ttlar masheen,
but I swar Jim Fellers hain't nothin' I
to answer. 3Iore like he'd git vp an
scatter when lie heard that message."
He stood glaring at me as he utter
ed these words, his hand on his revol
ver. I cannot account for it. As I be-
fnrn rpmnrlcf- I am timiU mnn Ktr 1
nature. Bar. this action only made me
bolder. Everything depended upon
keeping bin a few seconds longer. It
must be done at any cost. I tried a
"What do yon meat:., sir?" I shout
ed, rising, "by coming into thl office
and talking in that style ? Do you
th;nk I'll endare it ? Leave this roam
at once, sir, or I'll " 2nd I advance J
threateningly toward him. M7 unex
pected attitude seemed to anises him
more tban anything else, but silenced
his suspicions. He put bis hand in
his pockets and delivered a loud lugh
in my face-
"Wal, wal, my bantura, ye need not
get so cantankerous. Who'd thought
such a little breeches as yoa had ueh
pW? Haw! haw! be! Why I
could chaw ycc op 'thout making two
bites of ye."
"WreII, sir," I said ttfli apparently
unmollified, "either sit down and hold
your tongue, orekfcTeare tbe oSoe."
Aud he good naturedly complied.
Once mors ws were sittiag aad fit
eaing to the Uckiag"of tke clock as the
ainutej drargei tbeir glow length 1
along. Would help Bcvcr come? Three
misutesi more. Great Havetu I The i tte turned with all the awara&eei tv kick ea hwkrJl au3 Jv&zZfbK --S
sustobcwaa beeoQiingiatoierati'e. I of a lawyer teli ported .nd dcwandcl t7er an sslae. Tii eJed I vfjJB
cast go to the stair and Ktea if Tdie tkat Mr If anJy" state hU cbjecnaos. theetes4, tk dtm&j hcincmm-- t S
for it. I arose ad teek a step toward A dead Heeoe jrerai:sd"i3 tbe"ikttrt-! pcetel" Ttxfocs "Mi
the door, bat a Tfliee Mopped ae. reou The fall cf a pee sW kaT J se ddre is FferiU t W fa 4 jll
"HdJtr" HMiedlch, Xaiiiiag ercated a racket. Tkceocrt leased rart &$!&& ia tfe mxt W r L afil
uprisht, all kk safUdM er!cd rfjktiy fanrard, al aetesdow. 'jrsui'tke wwcer. Afll
mce asore; yer cw't g ec ef tlt Hdy aasKiaed a Kajestie tKtSe. L JlPt yma $ fimt 7&K
doorafjrem2. CsaeUei fccfeT . mi xieiw'iii ik, urn L jJ ' L ;" "r"" rr irilfiiij. r jiV -Mmmm
'Zkr -' tkeeowtMetkekwsef.twrean, W 'lJ PlW1'
in tho face. He U now half turned
from the door, aoJ I was facing it.
Slowly and without a particle of u-et
I 54W the kmib turn and a ficc umidr
a blue cap p in. Thank Gwd ' Hel,
hid come! I felt a jty uncon'rolUble
come over me. i tuut keep the mur
derer's attention an instant kojrr,
until some one ouu"d ipruis upon hitti
from tt'hind. 1 walked tra.ht up to
biui, bat his quick car bad caught a
movement behind. As he :urnd with
au oath, I prang upon htta. and bore
down hw artn jua as the revolver wcut
off, the ball burying itself liarmltfs!y
iu the floor. Bsfure he could fr?o htm
eelf Irum my grap, half a dozen offi
cers were upon him and he wa quick
The next moming the papers were
' Qlbd with glowing amount-of the cap-
ture of the murder, and pral.se of my
conaa.t. 1 he principal bu-4ne-s man
j of the town made up a purse or$.V H
( aniJ presented it to me; and this with
tne reward that was paid mo the fbl
lowing week, enabled me to get n.:r
rd at Christmas. But I shudder at
the remembratve of that half luur 1
"I'Cnt alone with Tim Lynoh ; and I
I dou't think $l,UO") would tempt mc to
' K through it agaui.
The Bloomington ' njmpli ay:
"Mr. Damon, a geutleuiau nHing
shoes for a lending manufacttry of
Worcoter.- Mass, wa in the eit ye
terdiy, and in additi m to hbj other
baggage bmught with him and cxhib
j ited to a few admiring friends a stioc
that ban done good service on the foot
of a reigning belle of Sandusky Ohio.
This delicate souvenir might Mell Ik
placed in compari03 with the glass
j slipper tint compressed the urchitig
instep of Cu.derilla. The Sanlusky
belle's is numbered '17, extra large,'
is only tourtecn mchra frout toe to
licet, and six inches across the broad-
est part of the sole, and its former oc
cupant is not bnppy, for the other
shoe is j i?t hke it, and her feet grow
one sia every year. She is only fix
teen years old Just budding into wo
mauhood. We shudder aa wecontom
plate the result should she lire to a
good old age and keep up her pedal
"In addition to the main cdifiV
(here is a bay window on the east side
of the gaiter, to accommodate a few
exotic bunions and an extensive com
patch to the weit A back porch has
aLo been con.tru-ted on the l.eel to
protect :ts growih in that direction,
while one tiny toe nail has cut a ga-h
like a spade sla-h out into daj light on
the northernmost point of the struc
ture. "The girl only weish? eighty-five
pound-, and na received acotumiss;oj
to g) West next summer to tramp
grasshoppers in Cobra J."
.-. j a wra.
An equestrian, traveling over an old
turnpike, drew rin at middav befom
an extensive Itut dilapidated public j
house, heralded by a lofty sign, bear- I rnayicg witJi each yther, ao 1 nb-tnfet-ing,
in fa led letters, the inscription, ": lc i ! walk. ' The galkr.t ma-:.
"Eutert.inu'cnt for 31an and Bast."
To a tow-hcaded urchin, Bwii.ging
upon tho frcut gUc, he addrti-e-d
Kby rill yoo .take my horse zud
give him half a peck of oat?'
"Don't keep no grain,"
"No grain! Well, then, give my
hors-2 some good hay."
"Don't keep no hay, nuthcr.'
"No hay nor raia ! Ou what du
yon feed your horses?"
"Don't keep no horses."
''I woald like some dinner. Can I
have meat and potatoes without de
lay?" "Don't keep no meat-barrel, since
wc don't keep no bog."
"Then I will uke a Inoch of bread'
and milk, or bread" and batter."
l,Dont keep bo butter nor tank,
since we don't keep no cow."
"Pray, my lad. what do you keep?"
The fecoe was a eoart-room in u Cincinnati, tha other dijt as eAcap
Grand Isbnd several years ago. AH il0e stacked a desiey, ukg.r
th lawyers of the place were employ- oan adratjiag at that by atud.8
ed on one d and a Mr. Handy vol-' sC tit rear: It rt? Kt2 donkey
unteerjd fvr the defendant. The hit- j i0? ' ! J pVcky beift tCrKec
yers were nLtifring tke Jcdtre with n -s3ac grabWJ Iitiu la 1J1 back
legal acumen, Mr. Handy was work-1 W1k 2t.a and hok hiai. Tke
in cs geaeral priedplea. One of the 3a 3X:7i a J the denkey g
lawyers (cow Jcdge Piatt) arose toasaiok hiraself, asr exfej
addretbejary, and coa-aeeaed bis at'gled tann- aad d:psst ca'Sie '
araTiHient br Ukiag a driak of water, J couatesaxaa. Thw was yt af, fco.
Jir naady pnnjpUy are ta &a '
feet and objected to Mr. Piatt" pro- '
eecding ni?h Lis argsBient. 3r. i
the iwoJcbhi l atast ti rn&ta o
I of the Uw9 of nature I tvt cpkat
reHy ftlgec: to ai rtmarfC widtil
witk water." Mr Ptt tThrd hi
dnak f water nd jrco-Jwl i hh
argument, by; Mr ItayVobjesttsWl
xa ha wrfl ulsu. The jttty touad
for the dofcmhnt.
A SotTHEXN tyijxt rtUt it
following- "One ofoar count. frtead
relates a nary tf oa of the i3tlKgcft
fifteenth amendment recruit attempt
ing to -.teal a jrws, but a lft$ rtitrd
an l&ecittjo, aod Siaiba "tifd Tho
ncil nubt. djni a tbaadcr nrs ha.
! aaPJ " . whei
an thf ptit T gvtti away itl his
bird, the iightjiing atnivk, ofcrn: by.
Drupisg tin pin hv erarteU away..
Pr io nt dar a a
tuixhty let t' fuM ta !. 'itft a cvw
A man wWu va 4ldtifvd to be
hung wx vi-ifod by h.J tt who aU:
"My dar, wjqld ym J5k tits chtUrta
I to w you !?! ? wNo retnr
he. "That- jut KW you.V U ha,.
"you never vrattted th uhlldr.n to
have any en)jpi3cnl.M
T1 ProvtdMKw lrt gay it uevcr
heard in ftuicral wratiun or tertuan,
awl !du: in mrui aonvcrsatnii,4
th pMinn cvtrvrtnl thct a man with
$la.XH3 tiKwtuc htd jcvqc u ht!L
A Nevjidn wwnu nity knock
ed down ftru l'trjrlar etw after an
othur. Her hu-hand Matched her
from the top of the uttsr?. sod fn't vj
brimful of battle that he couldn't cool
off uotil he had jerkin! li vigh-year
old boy out of ui and "whalod" him
und!y for cot gUp and helping
his motlior. f 3
A boy wH! i ?drn mn trus urh
in a puUtc sjtmlini j e-r than
private MiHeatn in . it i
lor u:asier. twt initn tliair ti't4
that yocth Jnrti a knn?kdge of the
U is raiati-il of a certain minuter,
who s nc:l for lT knjjj srrfftuni
with many divi-iou.., that one dy.
vrhn le 'xxt kdvtt')eh, auion hw
teens be reaMrl at IvtigUi a kind yf
rusting 4ic in h!r ilisuourc, when,
ptu.tng to Uiie Urith. h aked the
q ife.ii.tfi : "Aiid what rh.tll I Ky
more ? ' A voks tt m the coneroc-
tton oarneUy ra-psKuki,
-Summer is looking in -t the 'loir.f
Now get ready for lu inM. To-. off.
surplui ciotbin, strahtan out yuur
musolai anl gi jojtr bufr trimmed.
Overhaul jour oiabhdauict. frliun
up your itok in Irvh and tear dowc
tho irouther proucuHi doers. Open
the veittilitors th-.w up thj windnsr
j and im the wet aunvhtiie cf hoaren
htrcam in. Put ou new pumt, get up'
new ign. let the fring of your heart
bubble :ip, and adranie Kx.
Said an xapratfd husband :
"When I and my ttif are alone I can
boti our astabh&li'udnt and h-e evry,
thing wy own way, wIhhi her mthr
k aruiind, f am wjt ven rccagtlix! a
fa stock hosier in the orncsru."
'Straayar don't your law ach?
axked a tnrcra Joungwr cf a traveler
tIio it tip u il juruh. 'No ; why'
do you ak ?' ;'C-iu- tt St.)k io awfuf
J ogly I th Kifht it wmt hurt youl
It 1ms p-ntrtcl hrot I tholor.itf r
In .Mntrtil, Jut weak, a yonng mas
of lj and threu girU of J7, 1J and 1ft,
re-pwuv-, wrtf ir raited on Sb?r-
brwoke tirt at nron, for "kiting and
utmt' finel th m !e m-tnScr of the
quartet five dollir. and disintsMI the
three ftithl ; an I, a? th J yocnn
th'uian culln't ra; fcdIjrflf he
wxi sent to jail &r a cs&ih.
A witty pastor one remerke-l that
there 3i ja-t as much fa'jiiJy overfl- -nieut
now at ever ; but fyrnj,rJy pir
ent zvnmsd children, now ebildrcn'
The Lte ialoor !aaenjet is
termed the "Printer Ihhzhi," aud
is ptrforuid ia tb followls? u-um;r :
Take a shtsst of not paper, fuld it
carefully and inde a bnk yte uafli
Heotly large to tr? cp arrcar. and
year in advaoce. And what add is
nfendy to the ft U to send aloof
the nam of a n?w mbicribsr with
cx?h to bakace. Keep yonr eye on,
tbc printer, sod if yoa ?&sct a nmle,
the trick U a acc 'as. Try h I
TIic Jws i no: tbc kng of beatJ
Tnc Likj k, Suhool ciiilrcn wil
psfare rtvf.e tlftr readers ctoshb
tni the ttsrma 13 bshaif cf the Koh.
trrer. nm zmsnte cswe tosretW
"--" irccliy, 'aad the Ho ipaxed
'r pnng j ia; the dusker nlmAi
mfiarsL. -y 1 1 .i 111 1 nana "i - r m ltjmr
Powered by Open ONI