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THE RED CLODD CHIEF.
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Wearier County, Utib.
VSROVIfej :
Two Dollars Yr, in Advance.
W1CKKO JIM.
A TEMPERANCE BIIAP0r.
There were maldm aiieirul end gaunt and
grim.
And maiden of Mrrrface;
There wrj angular vdiucd, with optic dm.
And women with eyra nllsK" ;
There wen- inrn with oajwloc and am'roua ler,
And turn out at cllKiwa and kuwu
fTlw i-JifJiIiTdn wrre thow of micu goodly cliwr,
And the drunkards reformed w-r thfcl
Ik-aii! !"K "loon "f " The I-aden Vinn".
Of a wic!:r d old lnnr callrd Jim,
And thry ranged ihstnw-lvM up In a dolorous
line
And they fanjj him a doloroua hymn :
You're a dinner," tlipy aaug, " you're a naughty
. old man,
Yor yonr vlckrdnMw you niut atone ;
You're a oj r Irrrltlc; you're under a han."
And the thepherda came In with a groan.
Their face were long a the moral law.
And their meter a lont'rr Mill,
With tlreUr' lnnj? and tlrrleja Jaw,
Thoyeang iiiha rinlit Rood will:
'You're a brand to In.- plucks!, jou'ro a uej
T astray,
lint there n hope for the aluue r jet ;
Ilefonn and rtturu to a betlrr way.
And a ter reward jou 11 K"1.''
m And the hardened einuer whow name waa Jim,
' Tlin boat f .f ' The I-d u Vljie,"
Wan mi lted to team by h warning hymn,
And he emptied the r t-y wine
And tho jell nv rum and the pearly gin,
IUre. IkJiirl.ou ami Old Itye,
F-i:n rani and Udlle and crowded bin
In the sutler Ijing by.
He clfHrd the door of Ida wicked ken,
He ailenrrd hiH jferiug laugh.
Anil douned a kiUt garb and then
Had taktli hi- photograph.
Which he Mild abroad, and tho " wickedest jnan "
Abundance of money made,
And now he work n the moral plan
And U fully com Inn d II'm paid.
Ho ban upright vli-ni: and a tdorf of jiclf,
And sol wrry walk a rratk,
A tmintiK r no more ; he' a nhepherd himarlf
Itoiiud lielly and Npnading bark
A dhlntug light unto t how who fall
No better 'tnixt here and Home
He tipplen no morn abroad at all,
Hut relic h on a Jtig at home I
A stouio!my.stervTni woe.
A more honest fellow Umn Penning
ton Smytho never lived. Ho was young
Hiiy twenty-two or three full of n
largo nsHirtment of varied cuthusiosniR,
possessed of an unlimited belief in the
goodness of human nature, and abso
lutely inc ipahle of fulhehood.
And yet, curiously tnoiigh, ho had a
passion for mysteries. Although prnc
ticaliy n cinnuitnlace Presbyterian, ho
nevertheless affected to beltovo in tho
mysteries of BosicrucianiHiu. He was
perpetually striving, with conspicuous
want of success, to magnetize his
friends, and although he was too ortho
dox to believe in Spiritualism, ho lived
iu constant hopes of inducing his wash
stand to move and his writing-table to
rap by the patient contact of his tire
less hand. As for secret societies, they
wero his delight. Ho belonged to near
ly ovcry n licit nt and venerable order of
very modern mechanics and grocery
men in existence, and kept locked up
in bin trunk more flaring gilt badges
-and fantastically trimmed aprons and
horse-collars than would havo sufficed
te purchase tho sovereignty of n dozen
" African kingdoms.
And there never was a more honest
and straightforward little girl than
Mary IIorris, to whom Smythe was en
gaged to bo married. Shu was pint out
of boarding-school, and her respectable
father iu tho wholesale lard business
and her equally respectable mother
in tho wholesale family business and
all her thirteen brothers and sisters of
assorted sexes, weio ready to swear or
affirm, as tho cuse might be that Mary
waB as good as gold and many times as
valuable.
Tho engagement of theso two young
persons was with the full approbation
of the elder Smythes and Morrises.
Young Pennington was expected to
iiTintnl t1irr v'ti?nrru twnrrr Trolr riOi
his betiothed. aud thev wero alwavs ac-1
oomniodated with a convenient back-
parlor in which to converse after tho
manner of their kind. Jn tin i9 circum
stances Pennington Smythe ought to
havo been happy, but he was not. There
was no mystery about his lovo affair,
and the fact weighed upon hts spirits.
He did "what he could to convince
himself that the respectable old Mr.
Morris, who used to baywhen Penning
ton made his appearance, " Now, you
children keep out of that there back
parlor and give Mary and her young
man a show" was bitterly opposed to
tho match, and must be kept Irom per
ceiving that his daughter was beloved
by her "young man." But he only
possible "ny which ho could devise to
throw an air of secre.iv over the affair
was to write notes to ins beloved in a
very ciamped hand, and to deliver them
himself. Usually he had to read them,
too, since hi.s handwriting was too
mystieal to be readily deciphered, and
when they were read 'they usually con
tained nothing but an amplification of
the inuocuous idea tint he, Pennington
Smytho, proposed to love her, Mary
Morris, iu sp.to of every obstacle. As
there woro no conceivable obstacles.this
statement was not one of tremendous
moment ; but still it gave young Sinythe
no mtio comiort to make it in writing
and deliver it with an air of immense
uecresy.
Ono day a happy thought struck him.
How delightful it would be to corre
bpond.with his darling in cipher. This
idea tilled him with a calm aud mystieal
joy that w.ts really a first-class 'sensa
tion. So he devised a cipher of the
kind so much iu vogue among school
girls, and which consisted iu substitut
ing one letter for another, and instantly
wrote a brief note to Mary. This he
carried to her the same evening, to
gether with a key, and attained the
seventh heaveiTbf mystical delight in
transmitting it to her
Poor Mary suffered much from this
cipher. It was very h-ird work for her
to write an intelligible letter with the
new aj.habet. She continually made
mistakes in it, and so kept Pennington
out of his bed for hours, while, with
locked doors and shaded windows, he
tried to decipher some such sentence as,
. " Ij do so long to see you. " It was only
vv&n mistakes were made in the nse o'f
this cipher tliat it became at all difficult
of comprehension to an ordinary resdor.
Poor Poaningtou had not devoted much
attention tothesubjeetof cryptographv,
or he would have known tnat there "is
nothing more transparent than a cipher
which merely consist 3 of the substitu
tion of one letter for another. He was
howev r, soon .to JeamthL fact in a very
unpleasant way.
One evening Mary dropped a note
which she had received by mail, nd it
The Red
$2.00 PER ANNUM.
VOL. 1.
was picked up bj her father. The old
gentleman was wild with horror. There
was his trusted daughter actually corre
sponding with some unknown villain in
cipher. Obviously the cipher must
have some shameful secret. He sat in
his arm-chair with the open note in his
hand, and sc-rious thoughts of immedi
ate apoplexy in his mind, when his son
Tom, a young fellow just home from
college, entered, and, frightened at his
father's expression of face, asked, and
received an explanation.
Tom was a bright voung fellow, aud
he at once remarked tfiat it was hardly
worth while to take to apoplexy until it
was really apparent that the mysterious
note contained something wrong. He
suspected that it was written by the
mysterv-loving Smythe, and ho did not
doubt "his ability to read it. The note
ran as follows :
ciism rssix : h thus xnc syo stfbxx
FI1TT. OHYYHYDUI1Y NI'XDIA
In lrss than ten minutes Tom had
translated this innocent mystery into
the words : "Dear Mary, I love you
and always will. Pennington Smythe,"
and thus banished his father's doubt
aud wretchedness. However, the old
man was angry enough to desire to give
the unfortunate Pennington a hson
which ho might romember. So when
the young man made his usual evening
call ho was awaited in the parlor by the
incensed father and his greatly amused
son, and addressed in tho following
tern aud cruel words :
"Mr. Smythe, what do you mean by
writing to my innocent daughter in
such infamous stylo as this, sir !" aud
he shook Pennington's letter before his
astonished eyes.
"Sir," replied tho youth, "it is not
infamous. It is an entirely proper note.
All tho world might sec it"
" Then why tho devil did j'ou write
it in this outlandish lingo," returned
the father.
" She is not t blame," hastily urged
Pennington, juiiciously shirking tho
main question." I assure you she never
can read them without my help, and
when sho writes them she makes so
many mistakes that often I can't make
head or tail of them."
" By ' them' I suppose you mean the
letters written in cipher," replied Mr.
Morris. " Well, I won't add to j'our
trouble. Only let me advise you not to
write anymore cipher notes, my boy.
Tom, here, read your note almost as
easy ns if it had been written in print
There, go along now, and don't bo silly
again at least any nioro than yon can
help, jou know." And tho old man,
quite recovered from his anger, went
laughingly away.
Pennington lingered. " Is it really
true, Tom, that you could read it
without a key ?" he doubtfully asked.
"Of course I could. Why, -Pen,
there is nothing easier to read than that
sort of cipher. If you will write in
cipher and I don't seo why you
shouldn't if you want to; though you'll
find it beastly tiresome I can tell you
of a cipher that no one can possibly
translate."
" If you would be so very kind," mur
mured Pennington.
" Why," continued Tom, " you select
some book. Then out of the words in
this book you make your cipher. For
instance, you want to write ' dear,' as I
piesume you do, and you find it, say,
on tho twelfth page of the book in the
hecond line from the top aud the third
l word in the line. You then represent
I it by tho numbers 12, 2, 1. And so with
tho rest of your note, ion seo, no hu
man being could possibly read it unless
I "1
tl,ov. lnPl,CUtfd to Rcss what book you
used.
Pennington was overjoyed at this do
lightfu" plan, and, thanking Tom warm
ly, hastened to unfold the new cipher
to Mary. Ho felt at perfect liberty to
disregard Mr. Morris' advico not to
writo in eipher, for he now decided that
Mary's father would be justifiably re
garded ns a lio'ry-headed tyrant, bent
upon separating two loving hearts, and
and only lit to be cireumveuted by care-
i Jul strategy. So he selected a novel, of
which he kuew that both Mary and him
self possessed copies ; explained tho
new cipher with tho utmost care, and
after ho reached home put it in imme
diate practice by writing a brief note and
sending it by post, ns he would be un
able to see her next evening. This is
what he wrote :
:IT.9.5 ;.:i.:j15.4.4 G9.5.9 65.4.5
51.15.0 15.1.4 77.1.1 85.19.9 SI.
4.283.8.6- 89.5.239.2.6117.5.5
71.17.8.
Now the book upon which this cipher
was based was printed in double col
umns. Unfortunately Pennington for
got to explain which of the columns he
intended to use. However, he decided
to use the outer column, trusting that
the other heart, which, as ho frequently
remarked, was one of the two " which
beat as one," would instinctively divine
his selection.
Two nights afterward he reached the
Morrises door, full of delightful antici
pations. He was met by old Mr. Mor
ris, who, thrusting a note into his hand,
explained, with much unnecessary em
phasis and a total disregard of the com
monest rules of politeness, that if he
ever ventured to prcseut himself at that
house again ho would be kicked down
the front steps, mixed up in complicat
ed relations with the family bull-dog,
and committed to the final care of the
police.
He went home maddened with this
xery un esirable mystery, and confident
that old Morris had leen attacked with
debrinm tremens and was an exceed
ingly unsafe acquaintance. Once in
his room, he sat down to read the
eiumpled letter that had been forced
upon mm. it was Ins own letter to
M:try. Below the cipher was written
Mary's translation of it. The poor girl
had tried to translate it by using the
inner columns of the book, and with
the following unsatisfactory result :
" You liar when almost hate her and
farewell you deceitful never again and
bae infamy."
And still fnrther down on the page
was written in Marv'a hand. "I ran
make out enough of your letter to see
it is a cruel, wicted insult, and I shall
tell papa,"
It flashed across Pennington's rem
nant of a mind that perhaps Mary had
made a mistake in the columns of the
Devoted to
RED CLOUD, WEBSTER CO., NEB:, THURSDAY, MAY 14, 1S74.
book. He seized the volume and veri
fied his suspicion. The innocent note
that he had written was actually trans
formed, by thesimple process of reading
itwiththewrong columnasakcy, into the
incoherent but obviously impolite letter
which had wronght such unhappy conse
quences. Pennington sank into his chair utter
ly overwhelmed. He called himself all
the choice names that old Morris had
applied to him, together with a large
selection of other epithets. He spent an
hour in this profitable occupation. At
the end of that time ho had formed a
resolution which he proceeded to put
into immediate execution.
He rose up, and, going to his trunk,
took out his secret society emblems and
solemnly throw thew-ia tb grte. -Em
next sat down and wrote twelve separate
resignations for twelve different lodges.
Then he wrote a solemn pledge never,
to the day of his death, to meddle with
cipher or any other mystery, and finally,
writing out a full history of the eipher
letter, sent it, together with the book
which he had used as a key, his pledge
to solemnly abstain from mysteries, and
an humble apology, to old Morris.
Of course his explanation was accept
ed aud Mary forgave him. Several years
havo passed since that event, but if you
wish to make Pennington Smythe blush
with wretchedness, all that is necessary
is to ask of him if he knows of any
good, trustworthy cipher.
Useful Hints for the Home Circle.
Catarrh, it is asserted, can be helped
if not cured, bj' snuffing up Castile soap
scraped very fine.
"When you receive a bouquet, sprin
kle it lightly with cold water, then put
it in a vessel containing some soap-suds
which nourish the roots, and keep the
flowers as good as new. Take the bou
quet out of tho suds every morning,
and lay it sideways in fresh water, the
stock entering first into the water; keep
it there a minute or two, then take it
out, and sprinkle tho flowers lightly by
tho hand with pure water. Replnea the
flowers in tho soap-suds, and they will
bloom freshly.
In Belgium and Holland linen is pre
pared beautifully, because the washer
women use refined borax instead of soda,
as a washing powder. One large hand
ful of borax is used to eer3 ten gallons
of 'water, and the saving of soap is said
to bo one half. For laces and cambrics
an extra quantity is used. Borax does
not injure the linen, and softens tho
hardest water. A teaspoonful of borax
added to an ordinary sized kettle of hard
water, in which it is allowed to boil, will
effectually soften the water.
The following is one of tho best ap
plications we know of in cases of burns
or scalds, moro especially where a largo
surface is denuded of the skin. Take
one dram of finely powdered alum, and
mix thoroughly with tho whites of two
eggs and ono teacup of fresh lard ;
spread on a cloth and apply to tho parts
burnt. It gives almost instant reliel
from pain, and, by excluding tho air,
prevents inflammatory action. Tho ap
plication should bo changed at least
once a day.
The best permanent shade for glass
plant houses is linseed oil and sugar of
lead, in the proportion of about n tea
spoonful of lead to a quart of oil ; but
the exact trial must be governed by the
amount of shade required, which can
easily be proved by trying it upon pieces
of waste glass. First, wash the glass
thoroughly clean, and then on a dry,
clear morning, take tho oil mixture, and
paint as thinly as possible over tho glass
with an ordinary paint-brush. By dab
bing it gently with a dry brush it will
impart to it the appearance of ground
glass. The shading will stand tor a
season, and can be removed by washing
it with strong pearlash water.
The correct management of the nails
is to cut them of an oval shape, cor
rcsponding with tho shape of tho fin
gers. Never allow them to grow too
long ns it makes it difficult to keep them
clean : nor too short, as it causes tho
tips of the fingers to become flattened
ami enlarged, aud turn upward, -nbicli
gives the hand an awkward appearance.
Tho skin which grows in a semi-circle
on the top of tho nail requires much
attention, as it is often drawn on with
its growth, dragging the skin below tho
nail so tight as to cause it to divide into
what are termed agnails. This is to be
prevented by separating the skin from
the nail by a blunt half-circular instru
ment. Many persons cut this pellicle,
or thin skiu, which causes it to grow
very thick ami uneven, and sometimes
damages tho growth of the nail.
Jury Trials Two Ceatanes Age.
Once it was dangerous for the box to
differ from the bench, a jury daringto
assert an opi ion of their own being
liable to find themselves thrown upon
the tender mercies of the Stir Chamber.
Instances, indeed, says a writer in Cham
bers' Journal, are not wanting of the
jndgo taking upon himself to punish
jurymen for not following directions.
Penn, the Quaker, was instrumental in
freeing them of this terror. When he
and Mead were brought before the Lord
Mayor and the Recorder, in Loudon,
charged with preaching in Grace-church
street, the jury were thrice sent back
to reconsider their verdict, and shape it
to the desired pattern. The last time
they were locked np for the night,
but the morning found them of the
Fame mind ; and "Not guilty" was still
their award.
"I am sorry," said the irate Recorder
" I am sorry you have followed your
own ju.lgments and opinions rather than
the gocd advice that was give you. I
pray that my life be kept out of your
hands. But for this the court fines
yon forty marks a man, and commands
Imprisonment till paid.
The four hundred and eighty marks
not being forthcoming, the twelve really
good men and true were consigned to
dnrance vile in Newgate, A writ of
habeas corpu soon opened the prison
doors, and the case was referred to a
full bench of twelve Judges, who pro
nounced the fining and imprisonment
to be contrary to law. The jurymen
subsequently obtained exemplary dam
ages for false imprisonment
i
ClOUD
the Interests of Southwest
DaabeiTie.
A Danucby widower is so afraid of
his wife's ghost appearing
that he sleeps with a pistol
unto him
under his
pillow.
Mb. Jabed Hesxesst started for Col
orado, yesterday, for his wifo's health.
It is to be regretted that shoconld not
accompany him. m
TnEBE is a time for all Jbkgs. The
time for a boy to run away from school
aud go 'fishing, is when his Iifcs havo
company to tea, ..
Fences along the Hudsoiliver road
bear,the inscription : " N18 cures
pain.' V A great many peofPHuuld save
nam hVwflariiKrNM 1(4 '-.STl
-A.xrmwiroif A ntb4
died, subsequently confessed to a menu
that " Ncbody could pull down an un
dercoat as neatly as Jane did."
How few sitting in comfortable cloth
ing in the genial heat of home fiies
give a thought to tho poor gardener out
in the bitter blast sowing onions.
AxoTHEit harbinger of spring is tho
man with his coat pocket full of wal
nuts, which he cracks on the curb
stones aud against awning posts when
you are speaking, and eats when he is
talking.
Spring having sufficiently advanced
to thaw out tho cobble stones, robbins
and the windows iu vacant buildings
are receiving tho attttntion of the youth
of the land. The only sure wiy to hit a
bird with a stone is to first F.pit on the
stone and then aim three times.
Dead, But ot Burled.
When a friend dies and is buried, i "
there's an end of him. We miss him I A Cincinnati professor has demon
,. n no,.n nf nf nur 1ni"lv r.Tmrmrv ' striitod that a man feels lust as satisfied
we mourn for him by degrees that be
....... .,r....r w. . ........ .- ,
come mercifully less ; we cling to the
blessed hope that we shall be reunited
in some perfect sphere ; but so far as
this earth is concerned, there's an end
of him. However near and dear he was,
the time arrives when he does not form
a part of our daily thought ; ho ceases
to be even an abstraction. We go no
more with flowers and tears into the
quiet cemetery ; only the rain and the
snowflakes fall there ; we leave it for tho
fingers of spring to deck the neglected
mound.
But when our friend vanishes unac
countably in the midst of a crowded '
city, or goes off on a sea voyage and is (
never heard of again his memory has a
muumi iiuuik'j. iiv iiiuj tu u f.t in
tents and purposes dead to us, but we
have not lost him. Tho ling of tho
door-bell at midnight may be his ring ;
tho approaching footstep may bo his
footstep ; tho unexpected letter with
foreign postmark may bo from his
hand. Ilo haunts us as tho dead never
can.
The woman whose
husband died last
night may marry again within a luster
of months. Do you suppose a week
passes by when the woman whoso hits-1
Hand disappeared mysteriously ten years
ago docs not think of him ? There are (
moments when the opening of a door
must startle her.
There is no real absence but death
T. 11 Ahlrich.
Sturdy Old Men.
There are some pretty old men in the
world who remain full of work aud am
bition. Lord John Russell, for in
stance who looks upon Disraeli, who
is 69 years of age, as a sort of a loy
is 82 vears old. and vet seeks to rule
England. The Emperor William, a man i
of n, aud tho Duke, still older, are
having a lively contest, ttiuzot, aged Senators, thirtv-st ven are accompanied
87, is working away at his literary , bv their wivs." Ono humlrcdaud twen
labors in France, while Thiers, but . ty-uiue of the two hundred aud ninetv
httle his junior, is ready to assume the fight Representatives have their sinuses
reigns of the Government whenever he yfiih. them.
is wanted, tjoming over to America
wo find men seventy and over, working
away like men of forty. There nre
Commodore Vauderbilt, Daniel Drew,
A. T. Stewart, J. Edgar Thompson and
W. B. Astor, still skillfully handling
their millions, and yearly adding to
them. Thero is William C. Bryant
producing in his eighth decado a com
prehensive history of the United States.
There is Thurlow Weed still dropping
on us from time to time words of wis
dom and old political reminiscences.
Tnn California Acorn Crop. The
acorn crop of California is remarkable
for its irregularity. In a majority of !
ity ot storing them away
their rude wicker granaries when there
is a good crop. Indeed, some tribes
observe an annual dance, accompanied
with religious ceremonies, to propitiate
the spirits and insure an abundant yield
of acorns. When the crop is good, it is
very good, for the oak forests of Cali
fornia are so thin and park-like that
every tree produces to its utmost capa
city, almost as it would in a cultivated
orchard. For several years the yield
had been very meager,
, uui j as i, mu ji
The whole earth
a... A. I a i-ll - A.!
was simply enormous.
unuerueatii eacn tree was literally cov
eretL The Indians selected only those
trees having the largest nut's, and
climbing up, whippetl them off in
myriads with poles, until the trees
looked as if they had besn scourged in
a mighty hail-storm. Even white men
gathered them and sacked them up by
scor oi uusneis lor wimer provenaer
. '
them greedily, notwithstanding which
& CVr . Jw.ALtV.- -J w7VW uutviut-u
tlie snpply lasted all winter.
The Iate Presidi2t Filimobe. It
seems, according to Uurieigh, of the
Boston Journal, that nobody was more
surprised than the late President Fill
more at his nomination to the second
official position in our country. Bur
leigh savs : " In the old Wh'ig times
Mr. Fillmore was the favorite son of
New York. I was standing by his side
in the Delevan House, Albany, when ho
received news of his nomination for the
office of Yice-President, He thought
it was a joke. But when satisfied of
the fact, he turned white as a sheet and
said, You could knock me down with a
straw.' The whole thing was so unex
pected that he sat down like a r
fainting."
nun tlio inrrPit . m her it nr finlR nttor- I r""r '"-"M' "r --i-r.o ..... ......
Iv, and the Digger Indians, who subsist ! m stfield, Mass., lately, awed by the
principally on them, have learned well . P Benc of company, tned to ketone
i. ....:.- t ..:., t., - :.. i "", "" '" result was a panuyeis oi
LI1U IICLUCOILI Ul riUllilU balCTAlX UH1IV 111 I
Chef.
Nebraska.
0.
All Sorts.
China has no merchant tailors, but
plenty of tailoresses.
An Oregon paper studiously advises
young men to "go West."
In the Kentucky inmitcutiary there
are 675 convicts, half or whom are col
ored. Many
Georgia planters will try the
effect of convict labor on their farms this
year.
One or two geranium-leaves, bruised,
bound upon a cut or abrasion, will heal
it at once.
They are hunting tho wild boar in
Kentucky. Tamo bores can bo found
WlSfe:..
m. trf . 3
There are over 600 Indians in l'hila-
delphia. All of them
tobacco establishments.
arc attached to
Slit Garnet Woi.sei.ey becomes a
Major-General and is to receive a pen
sion of $7,500 per annum.
Georoia convicts are hired out to
planters at Sll per annum for five
years, which is cheaper than slave i
labor.
Russia has 2,391 cotton factories of ,
all kinds, employing 1754000 workmen, i
and producing annuallv goods worth .
162,000,000 rouble. j
The local census of Richmond, Vn.,
shows its population to bo 60,705, or
about 9,000 more than in 1870; 53,492 ;
being whites, 27,213 colored.
The A'c', without the fear of hen
pecking, avers that the stairway to tho
i Danlmrv Jjveeum is as uirtv as tl
..i.;i(1r.; f ,. f,.,.,i,. rr,or
.t .... .!- ti Vli.k
. .. - . ,
after lunching on a raw turnip alone
us if he had fe.isted at a king s table.
A new Ohio psalm :
Mount Vernon, Xruia. MtfViuKiim,
MfCotiuellHtllle, and Cadiz.
Each bid a long farewell to rum,
And jtlU out, "Oo It, ladn."
Wanted a national name. The term
American applies alike to a Canadian,
Mexican, Brazilian, Chilian, Patagoniati,
Indian, Cuban, or citizen of tho United
States.
There were forty-five gallons of writ
ing fluid used in Congress last session.
This was only writing fluid mind von ;
there were other kinds that were used,
of course.
' Thj Rreat doek ()f tho lkitish Htmso
nf Piirliument 1ms been stunned for
cleaning, on account of having lost a
second in one month. Nothing can
succeed that is done on tick.
,,- "-""-""'' -" : " l'l
The ex-Queen of Spain, says Kate
Field, is a great, stout, ungainly fe
male, who needs but a dozen children
and a washtub to bd a counterfeit pre-
scnimeni. 01 mo lypicui xmuiy.
A rorr.AR tree 183 feet high was re
cently cut down iu Shelbycounty, Ken-
tuej:y
it was twenty feet m circum
ference. It is estimated that the whole
tree would have made 35,000 shingles.
I Charles Sumner, in his youth,
' achieved the arduous feat of swimming
' across the boiling rapids below Niagara
Falls a feat which few men have had
either the muscle or the nerve to per
form. In Sweden, out of 385,000 children of
scnooi age, onry ;', , r "'rt'" l'r
cenr., aro uiiiiisirucieu. ui mo i,iru.
000 voters m the United states, more
than 1,000.000 cannot read tho ballot
they cast
qf the seventy-two United States
The following table shows the volume
of tho currencv of the couutry at the
periods named :
IrfA $.7TT.,r0 1W.1 . . f"JI.Mm,(l
!StV 719.0.M.iiO lTO fio7,U,ftl
, ISO. 70T,IMI,(K)I-4I . ...
I 1V.7 fiOl.W) (I.HJ IS72
" IWVS fiSt.lMO.l'Mi lfe73
112, ,.(
7i!im!cIi
' A dreadful sentence has been passed
1 at Yeddo on a woman who connived at
the murder of her husband, and married
his brother, the murderer, viz. : that of
being torn to pieces by bullocks. The
I man is to be crucified, and then tor-
I tirfwl Tritli cnnir rrtiTiitn
...... ...... .JJ...... .. v...?.
one side ot her fucc, so distorting her
features that la r friends can scarcely
recognize her. At the last accounts she
was seeking medical ndvicr.
0
"A jiEHAKKAnLK rose-bush adorns the
cottage of S. A. Kendall, of Santa IJosa,
fiftl. It wm nlnnted in 1RTS. and is of
.. . ..- ."
the Lamarque variety, the most beanti-
J mense bouquet of -white roses, twenty-
i in in Lilt: iiiiLt rriHt'JS. i iiiiLLMiit; mi i in-
' gve
feet Inch, twentv-two feet ncros-s.
i beautifnllv rounded, with a bloisommg
K1,rfnco of -KX) square feet, with 1.000
- .-. '-- --
'' ----
full-blown roses and 20.000 buds.
LP you nre going to have a sneeze,
.
i. .fir. . nrr a in. T.r r. .... ... ....4u .r .. i.iji-
TA 1 L A . ?. I 1- 1
; wiil of the people, however, will assort
The Chicago Rivek. This go-ahead it"'". ! "" hope the prevailing ir.de
city rpent some 3.000,000 a few years ; pendente of the present time may in
ago in turning back the current of the I no case, through mdicretion, lead to
Chicago river and making it a tributary , the fritcntice of the best man. Sioux
of the Mississppi instead of the St. 1.3 w- j City Journal.
V llaAn
Aiie lwara oi xraue is now cua- i
hiaeriup a proFosal to fill np the part "
gjing through thecitvand substitute j a31'' :n,le " Iadon extends from
tlierefor a huge covered'sewer. Bridges Euston hqoa"" to :be I'ptofSce. a dis
and tunnels arc found to be isufficient "" of 1, iS yanls. rhc macliinery
for the immense and growing vehicular j for opratin? the line is at Uolborn,
and prdestrian trffic. whicli js ab-rut one-third of the distance
! f mm the PoHtoffice to Enston. The
Ccee foe Headache. Castor oil, one tube is live feet high and four feet six
once ; tincture of opium, one ounce, and inches wide. The wacens are ten feet
tincture of cansinm. one ounce. These lone, and constructed to fit the tcbe
t:nctures must bs made of pnre alcohoL !
l;ub well two or three times on the
head, and take internally from five to
twenty drops, according 'to the neces
sity of the case.
Haxnufoed k Tno3crso!f. Publishers,
Chicago, HI., announce a 4th edition of
Periaxn's " GroundsxceU, ot Jlutory of
the Farmer Movement." This sale was
n?ade in leas than 3 month. The demand
is extraordinary. Acents make money
" lapidly with it, spite of hard times.
L. MATHER, Publisher.
NO. 415.
Irish Ladies.
Physically, Irish women (says a
writer) are probably the finest raco in
the world 1 meau taller, better limbed
and cheated, larger eyed and with more
luxuriant ha'r aud free action, than aiiy
nation I have observed. Tho Phoenician
and Spanish blood which has run hun
dred of years m their veins still kindles
ita l(irl: lira tft Mioit ot.-w ntt1 tttti l.
I vivacitv of the northern ' min'l and the
bright color of tho northern skin, these
southern qualities mingle in most ad
mirable and stierb hartuouy. Tho idea
we form of Italian and Grecian beauty
is never realized in Greece and Italy;
but we find it in Ireland, heightened
and exceeded. Cheeks and hps of the
delicacv und bright tint of carnation,
jjirith snowy teeth and eyebrows, of jet.
are wiiui we nioum icwic icr cm mo pnt
lette of Appclles, could wo recall the
painter and reanimate his far-famid
I models ; and these varied charms,
t united, fall very commonly to tlte share
j of the fair Milesian. Modest ton prov
i erb, tho Irish woman is as unsuspeet
i inc of propriety as if it wero an imxs
i sible thing ; and she is ilh fearless and
j joyous as a midshipman, and sometimes
as noisv. In a ball room she looks ill
dressed, not because her dress was ill
, put on, but because she dances, not
, glides, sits down without care, pulls her
' flowers to pieces, and if her head-dros
I incommodes her, she will give it a pull
or a push. If she is offended, she asks
for an explanation. If she does
, not understand you. she confesses her
ignorance. If she wishes to seo you
' next dav, she tells von how and when.
She is a child of nature, mid children
are not "stylish."
Big Trees The lociuitc KcIIummI.
Tho Brisbane (Australia) Courier
publishes the following official telegram
from Mr. Walker Hill, the Government
botanist, dated from Card well, and r
) ceived by the Queensland Secretary for
Lands : " Since the 20th of November
we have examined the banks of the Mill
grave, Hussell, Mossman, Pamtrre and
Hull rivers and have been more or less
successful in finding suitable laud for
sugar and other tropical and seuu-tropi-'
eal productions. The ascent of the
I summit of Helleudeu Kerr was success
( fully made by .Johnstone, Hill aud eight
' troopers. At 2,500 feet in height we
observtdan uudescribed tree with crim
son flowers, which excels the Poiuciaua
regin, Colvilha raceinosa, LngcrH"tromn
! regia, aud the Jacanmda mimosifolia;
at 4,400 feet a tree fern, which will ex-
eel l'l grandeur nil others ot the Alho-
t '
reous cJas ; a palm tree at the same
height which will rival any of the British-India
species in gracefulness. On
the banks of the Daintree we saw a
palm tree cocoa, which fur exceeds the
unique specimen in the garden of the
samo genera from Jirazil iu grandeur
J ftm
gracefulness. While cutting a
given lino on the banks of the River
lohnstone, for thopurosc of examining
tho laud, an enormous tig tree stood in
tho way, far exceeding in stoutness and
grandeur the renowned forest giants of
' California and Victoria. Three feet
from the grouud it measured 150 feet in
circumference ; at 55 feet, where it sent
fortli giant brauches, tho stem wus
nearly 80 feet iu circumference.
The Ih'hiMon or Drink.
There are men who honestly believe
that alcoholic drink is good for them.
i vot there is no one of them who would
touch it except as a prescribed medi
cine if it were not for its pleasant taste.
Tho delusion touching its healthfuluess
I grows out of tho desire to justify an ap
petite which may either bo natural or
ncquired. If a man likes whisky or
wine he likes to think that it is good
for him, and he will take some pains to
prove that it is so, both to himself and
others. Now, alcohol is a pure stimu
' hint. There is not so much nutriment
in it as there is in a chip. It never
added anything to the jK?rman''nt forces
of life, and never can add anything. Its
momentary intensification of force is a
permanent abstraction of force from the
drinker's capital stock. All artificial
excitements onng exhaustion. J h"
physicians know tin's, and the simplest
man's reason is quite capable of com
prehending it. If any man supposes
that daily drink, even in small quanti
ties, is conducive to his -alth, he is
deluded. Scribnrr'.
The I'arlj Crop of Congressmen.
Candidates for Congress are coining
out with the tlics and about as numer
ous. It isn't so true as it used to be,
in oolitics. that the early bird eitches
I .. ' rr. , "
f IWI TTArm I Mia TWlSattlJt nHk a"ir.lTWr Tllirii
1 ,7 r. '. --rwi" " "v-" -"-
. tbinkniK about these hiug than they
?nff lu; an'1 a 1rc.Halt of the thinking
1S thft 9 "re dom& nr,or lan ther
once did m the way of selecting their
own public servant. Perhaps aspirants
j may infer t omething to their advantage
from this obs rvation. We. don't nre-
' snmethat all the name that have been 1
iuuwv.ii iji uttii u.tru uiiJiiiiiiciit:
! through the cflbrii of the parties thus
I bro'igut ueiore a fcmtimzmff imiilic:
I .. - w
I ..
!
' out we presume mosto! tnem are like
Barkis, which is no favinz that there
are not very good Barkises. Tne elf
r.TECMATic uisrATcn. inc pneu-
clotelv br means of
an india-rubber
a tort of piston.
fhtnge, and so form
upon which the air may act to the great
est advantage. The machinery consists
of an engine having two twenty-four-in.-h
cylinder, w.tb. twenty 'inches
stroke. The fan is twenty-two feet six
iniies in diameter, and makes tojnpp
olations for each ttroke of the engine.
The trains are drawn from the extremi
ties of the lice by exhaustion, and pro
pelled thereto by compression. Sqrb-rifr'r.
THE BED CLODD CHIEF
RATES OF ADVERTISING:
Ooo ttxh, flrt lnrrttn.
" rh ab(Mbt InwrtWa.
thrramatiUw..
hi nwotlu
" twrlt laooUls
Qcartrr column, thm monlha.
" "It awclh.
tW tuAotha.
Half column, thrrn oionlL-i ...
f I.On
.M
J.
11.00
i ven
.
3J.08
V
turn
00.01
ItXM
HIS M3tJ. ..
" t"rU nrontti.
3oe rolunis. thrr muattu
" all trxiQtti
M tvlr nwottn
...... .
Mirv and Obituary NfltW trrm. tral n.
tier 10c rr Her. Trnint aii wu AJl
cimu jjW tn ajtanoc. tarl; .lrUw
parable aartrr:7.
rilKKO.
I Ulitrr, it I tbonlil 4tr
An.t jou .Uould l mj" rjeltJt wha I U
tVM, ! J, an4 dumb to all thi world contain.
Th Mdrd ort- would ojn at thy brrth.
And from iu U in tt I!n of IWth
Ufr would cta gladly back iteaj my rrl.
I lllrr. If t ttrrr dr.t,
od you au n hfdr hrt ahould tn-t.
Not knnxsut; what the rr rtoJ htwd UJtw.
It would find aiiddti pul tne'.h the iout
Of htra It rr loM In Uf o isurh,
Aud Urut a!u, warm, trudr r. true t th.
I hrlinr. If on my icra.
Hhldru In nojy dvw, or by la wavr.
Your yr should dr otuo warm trref rirl.
From txrty tally hvi! of your dr grlf
Stimr fair, Wtm would lcj Into !4f
To jirwt death cvuld not ruai my lo forgot.
I 1-rllrTC, If I tMl!d t ad
Into thir tny.tio rrainia hr- IUU 1 uiad.
And yoa ahould Umfcofcco more my tcn to .
I wuuld ponirf4.rtU uiotlan hdU f nlht.
Ami uthr tar Ul t ! UU thy al.ht
. IjnI by thru- hwuu M,'!11 ruon m! ,
I tx-llrtr my faith tn th-.
strunc a my llfr. o nliy jlwi"d to Ns'
1 would a u r jct lo tli inn
I'all llVr a drad Mnj; from i h'lrftit .uhltrur.
III. gl ry xttKVrn from Hi lrvnr. f tlinr.
An tur- uuwtirtu Ihc woBif lUoti ht n.
I (--Heir who h& not lrd
Hath fedf tb trrurw of UU !fc tuirol ;
UVnotir who, th tt rr within hi rm.
In It, with all It erltHM.n JhMw HtiprrMmt,
And all lt luacton Wfrlnr Vft unUrwnt,
Out from hu rardr.a and unhrolhirf Ha.
I lrllrltm. jmr-aud trtir,
la totiir Mll a !. ImWoa' l-w.
That ic'm" lifn' Jfl in lla hour of dual ;
Thr wait!!!,; ancrt. and rwvnUn
Th rich cru-jwrl, Ir, of l'ardl
Wlirn life falla from U lla a wllhrrrd hua.
lliiinor.
A cinct'iT court -The longest way
home from singing school.
Why do we sjM'ak of the silence, of
sleep, when most of u sleep Bound ?
Tin: Rochester Erpreti ascertains
that Nobuchadnez7Jir was tho find
Gninger.
When in a scolding woman most of
feneiveV Whi'ii she's hs deaf as a jxmt,
and rails.
" Iton.Ki Eutis " iw thr naino adopts
by the new Danbury base-ball club to
sfgnify how iinpoHiible it is to beat
them.
A.v English wag asserts that ma
chinery is the most modest of nil
things since it almost always travels
in eofi.
Ir success in nn undertaking w
proportioned t the earnestness brought
to bear upon it, a hen could run about
1.S00 miles a day.
Tins is the season of the year when
the young girl who is just budding into
promising womanhood should squeeze
iier nose for animalcules.
A South Windsou boy had a two
eent piece lcHlgl iu nis throat nix
months ago, and the family iiliyst'cum
lias been till now trying to change it.
Tho incident illustrates how meager
is the income of a country phyiiician.
SoMiuionr Ixiasts iu n Western news
paper of being the happy jMisTssor of
a ii'iw, first-class oreitlu waN'h which
nms an hour in forty minutes, and with
the assistance of tuo hands has gained
enough to pay for lUelf in three week.
A Uostov paper wonders why a mem
ber of Congress who recently sjmko
with so much feeling about tfio'hay
seed in his huir" and " oaU in hit
throat," forgot to complete tho diag
nosis of the case by alluding to tho ryo
in his stomach.
A TOiinsTosn in tho Ynzoo Mist.,
cemetery bears the following inscrip
tion :
" Urtf Um lntrrl I'rlaollU IHrd.
Who .aOR on rarth lilt litj-lw ;
Vow uji on Ulll, alti- tlir ky.
'n donbt tir ati tl'- filly, too."
The Kdilor as a Derrick Tor Politi
cians It costs the proprietors of tho Ap
;TiS.'lCH) a day to publish tho pujHjr,
and we rnnnot se how a-)iranU for
otlice cau exin-ct, at our expense, to tiso
our columns to aid them in getting an
office worth ten, fifteen or twenty thou
sand dollars jht annum. If thero bn
an honor in tho office of Joveriior, or a
seat in the Legislature, " Many Voters"
who would confer this honor should not
seek to do so at tho expense of others,
and must pay for the praise they hiviah
uion the men they would exalt. Tho
press has too long been "hewers of
wool and drawer of wafr" for jxditi
cal uspirants, staking high tosition.
EdiUjrs have too long been the lmldrr,
to be kicked over by men who havo
secured offices which enriched them.
Candidates in search of office of honor
or profit can find access to our columns;
but their ubiquitous friend, " Many
Voters," cannot herald their greatness
or extol their merits and many virtue
at our expense. Mcmphlx Appeal.
5oaplH-iag a Barber.
Persons who visit barber shops would
give a premium for a barlwjr who would
not insist upon thern having their " hair
cut, or submitting to a "shampoo
when they only wish to be shaved. A
man who called to-day at a tonaorial
establishment on Smithneld street suc
ceeded in nonplusing a mot persist
ent knight of the razor. Tho barber
insisted upon giving the tranAicnt cas
torner a " shampoo," and theT. C. per
emptorily demandwl hy such a request
was made. Then a little colloquy en
sued t-omtthing like this :
Bsrlcr "lour head ia very dirtr,
sah!"
T. C " Well, I kaow it is, and I
want it dirty."
Barber" Want it dirty ! Why, what
fah r
T. C " Well. I'm a Granger, and I
want to have roil on mj head I"
The barber ceased hi importuning,
andquietly sbaTed his vzaTu-PUUturyh
Chronicle.
The Herald afJIelih ay that the
more a voung lady'a waist reaemblca an
hour-glaM, the roocer will her asnda of
life run ont. Now jo-i Ke what the
ladies can fay of tho men. They aay
the men are to fond of fArir "hour
gbs." that half of 'em don't know
whether or not thtr have any wai4lt
alll -gF
AT.7remtR MrrcHEi.i 3L (jllinm
Wisccn-sin. is reputed to he worth
$20,000,000, and to be the wealthiest
man in the West. He is a native of
Scotland, and made raoc.t of hi avmey
by banking.
3l
3,
J
.
"?;
- a i -
.M ..I. '
Vw