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About The Red Cloud chief. (Red Cloud, Webster Co., Neb.) 1873-1923 | View Entire Issue (March 26, 1874)
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Tfl BD CLOUD CfflET.
THE BED CLOUD CHIEF.
BATB8 OF ADVER7.1SLHG:
On loch, firt inarrtira.
! nlonpnil tcrtKfs. .
" thrr ranoa. . .
x rapotti.. ..... .
M twlio ruootin , .
QoarUr column, thrt BxmUs.. . .,.
!x vKmlh. ....
Half column, thrt tamtttu ,
0o colusin. thnw raoutha ...........
M UmeaU ....
u twtlteBontlk. .... .
Wsiator County, Use. .
$2.00 PER ANNUM.
Devoted to the Interests of Southwest Nebraska.
G. L. MATHER. Publisher.
Marruc axxl Ohlmarj- SMicw fr. .val nc-
Itaea ICe rr Uar. Tru;e!it ao4 tat Ai!rrUa-
RED CLOUD, WEBSTER CO., HEB., THURSDAY, MARCH 26, 1874.
"Two Dollars a Yoar, in Advance.
mcct royM in 4xuc Yrl? aJrUa
nr Jxsnx t. riixix.
Oboo in the leafy prim of Spring,
TChen b1oirn whltrnul ex-ry thorn,
I vaiiderrd through Oik Vale of Orb
Where Aga'xiz born.
"The bird Jn boyhood be bar! known
Wait flitting through the (r of May,
And happy eouga bo lovi-U to bear
Made all lb, landscape say.
I saw the elrearnlet frpm tbe biUa
Ilun laughing through tbe vallrya gracs,
And m I watched it rnn, I nald.
" Tblii UU dear fyea baTO seen J"
For c'.lffg of let- hi feet bad clirabel
That day nutapoke of blrn to me ;
JTbe, avalanche creraed to aound
"' Tbe name of A gauiU 1
And. rtandJnsc on the mountain crag
Where ioAetifd water rni-b mud foam,
I felt, that trfongh on Cambridge aide,
.. Ue.raa Id that pot toy borne.
And looking round me as I inuned,
I knew iir pang of foar. or care,
Or boincflrk -weariufKK, becauao
Onrc Aganli titood there !
I walked trf-math no alleu klet
No foreign height I came to tread,
Kor everywhere I looked, I tw
Ilia urand. beloved bead.
Hi fcuillo wub atamped on every tree,
The glacier hboue to gild hia name,
And every Image in the lake '
lleflectiil back hia fame.
flreat keeper of the maple keya
That could unlock I ho guarded gale.
Wuere Science like a Monarch ittand,
Ad Pacred Knowledge waits
' Thlun axhr rct ou Charle' bank,
Thy memory all th world contain!,
Kor thou conlilVt bind in humau love
All heart iu golden chain!
-Tblue was the heaven-born apcll that net a
Oar warm aud dip affections free
Who knew the bent remit hue thee bout,
And tangent mourn for thee !
Srritnur't for March.
SCARED OUT OF A WIFE.
A IaUK!in!!e Story.
Tlio imrrfttivo which I am about to
"write, was told to me ono bleak, cold
niht, iu a country parlor. It woa one
of those nights in midwinter, when the
wind Bwept over tbo Innd, makiug every
'thiug tuifelo with its frosty breath, thut
1 wuh seated beforo u blazing tire, wir
rounded by a jolly, half dozen boys
and an old bachelor a Peter Green
about fortj and eight years old.
It was juBt tho night without, to
make thono within enjoy a good story,
bo each of uh had to tell his favorite
story, sttvo Mr. Green, and as ho was
u jolly old fellow, wo all looked for a
jolly story. Wo were somewhat sur
prised to hear, him say, " I have no
story, that would interest you," so wo
had to find other entertainments for a
time, when ono of tho boys told me to
ask him how it happened he never got
married. So I did.
"Wellr gtotletoen," ho-began, "it
doift seem right for mo to toll how that
happened, but as it is about myself I
don't care much. You sco, when I was
youug, wo had to walk as high bb live
miles to church and siugtug school,
which was our chief enjoyment. But
this don't have anything to do with my
not getting a wife, bnt I just wanted to
show you that we had soma trouble them
days' in getting our sport.
John Smith and 1 wero like brothers,
or like "Mary and her little lamb."
Whero onoweat the othtr was sure to
go. So wBTvcnt to sco two sisters and
as wo wero uat tho best boys imagina
ble, tho old gentleman took umbrago
and wouldn't allow us to como near tho
house, so wo would take the girls to tho
end of tho lane, and there wo would
have to take ho final kiss.
Wo -oon got tired of that sort of fun,
und I told Johnson our way to singing
school ouo night, that I was going to
tako Saddie home, and that I was going
int j tho houso, too.
Ho said the old mau would run mc if
1 told him I was going to risk it any
how, lctxxue what would.
lie said "he would risk it if I
So homo wo went with the girls.
When wo got to tho end of tho lane, I
told tho girls wo proposed going all
Thcr;looked at each other in a way
I didu'tKke too well, but they said the
old folks wowISbe in bed, eo they didn't
caro if wo did.
They wero a little more surprised
yet wlien I told them we thought of
going(in a little while, but as all was
quioti.whea.wo got to tho house.we had
no trouble in getting iuto tho kitchen.
Then and there we had our first court,
and I made up my mind to ask Sadie tc
ba mr.'wifo the next time I came.
It was now past the turn of the night,
and as wo had lour miles to walk, I
told John wo would have to be going.
So we stepped out on the porch, but
iust as we did eo, tbo sky was lit up bv
lightning, and ono tremendous thunder
peal rolled along tbe mountain sides.
It echo had not died out in the far off
vales until the -rain btgaa toto pour
from the garnered fulluess of the clouds.
Wo waited for it to 6top until we were
all sleepy, when tho girls said we should
go to bed iu the little room at the head
of thestairswhich ledontof the kitchen,
as their; .father didn't get up fatly we
coald'behome before the old folks were
ast'r. So after bidding the girls a sweet
good night and hugging them a little
and .wishing them pleasant dreams,
and promising them to come back on
next, Saturday night, we staited for
bed. i ?' . si
Wo didn't have far to go, as the bed
stood near the Lead of the stairs. John
was soon in be3,"Tut as I was always a
little slow, and full of curiosity, I was
looking around the little room.
At last I thought I would sit down on
a chest which was spread over with a
nioe, white Tloth,- -while I drew off my
boots. Sotrwn 'P sat? when, stars of
the east, I went plump into a big egg
custard pie I
I thought John would die laughing,
for he said I had smashed that custard
all tortlwaHisr, j&ad thepfata Tight in
two. c "
You see we had to be awful quiet, to
that the aUrMa;Wulino4 &eac.
I was now ready to get ihlo bed, so 1
put the light out aud picked up tax
bcot 'poking, to put them in a more
j convenient plaoe wlun down my oce
leg w nt throsgh a pipe hole, which had
been covered with paper, up to my hip.
Jfow one.part qf nie- watVap stairs,
while the longest part was in tho
As my leg was very loni
shelf which was occupiei
it reached a
pans, coffee-pots, etc., and turning it
over down it went with a tremendous
The girls hod not yet retired, and I
could hear them laugh fit to split their
I felt awfully ashamed, and was
scared until my heart was in my throat,
for I expected the old man every mo
ment. I extracted my leg from the con
founded hole just in time, for the old
lady looked into tho kitchen from the
room door, and asked what all that
noiso was about ?
Tho girls put her off as best they
could, and I went to bed, while John
was strangling himself under the covers
to keep from laughing aloud. ,
Wo soon went off into the land of
dreams with tho hope of waking early.
I wish I could tell you my dreams, but
it would take mo too long. One mo
ment I would fancy mysely by the side
of Sadie, sipping nectar from her
heaven-bedewed lips, and the next I
would bo flying from tho old man,
while he would be flourishing his cane
above my head.
This all came to an end by John
giving me a kick.
On waking up and looking around I
saw John's eyes as big as my fist, whilo
the sun was beaming in at the window.
What to do now we couldn't tell, for
wo heard the old man having family
prayers in tho kitchen.
John looked out of th- window and
said wo could get down over the jwrch
" Get out and dress
Bible," ho said.
as soon as poB-
So in my hurry my foot got fastened
in tho bedclothes, and out I tumbled,
headformost, turned over, and down
tho steps until I struck the door, which
was fastened by a wooden button, and
giving way, out I rolled right in fiont
of the old man.
Ho threw up both hands and cried,
"Lord have mercy on us !" for he evi
dently thought I was tho devil.
Tho old lady screamed until you
could havo heard her a mile.
I was so scared and bewildered that
I couldn't get up at once. It wajtwarm
weather, and I didn't have anything on
but a shirt.
When I heard the irirls snickerincr it
made mo mad, and I jumped up and
rushed out of the door, leaving the
greater part of my shirt on tho old iron
Off I started for the barn, and when
half way through the yard tho dog sot
up a howl and went for me.
JWhea I got to" tho barnyard I "had to 1
run through a flock of sheep, and
among them an old ram, who backed
off a little and started for me. With
ono bound I escaped his blow, sprang
into tho barn, and began to climb up tho
logs into tho mow, when an old mother
hen pounced upon my legs, picking mc
until they bled.
I throw myself upon tho hay, and
after John had slid down tho porch
into a hogshead of rainwater, he camo
to -mo with ono of my boots, my coat,
and one of the legs of my pants.
Ho found me completely prostrated.
Part of my shirt, my hat, one leg of my
pants, my vest, stockings, necktie, and'
one boot was left behind.
I vowed then and ihero that I would
never go to see another girl, and I'll die
before I will.
MR. COHLEIUH'S MISERY.
Mr. Cobleigh says that wlien ho was
married ho weiched 140 pounds, aud a
fourteen-inch band was very comfort
ablo on his shirt. But now that he
weighs 180 pounds it naturally follows
that tho collar bad should be propor
tionately increased in Bizo; but his
wife totally disregards this equitable
conclusion and persists in making four-tcen-inch
bands to his new shirts. In
consequence, Mr. Cobleigh experiences
much distress in getting tho band but
toned, and very frequently i .obliged
to call in his wifo to help him, which
that admirable woman never fails to do
by buttoning the skin of his threat in'
with tho button. Tho fact that these
bands are only fourteen inches when
they should bo fifteen is a source of
auother, aud, if anything, much greater
aggravation than bringing1 these ends
together. The band sits so close to his
neck t at it not only endangers his life
iv suaiungra ms uream, but renders
the attachm nt of a collar an alisost
hopeless undertaking in that it leaves
no spaco to insert a guiding and
sustaining, finger. Iiat Sunday morn
ing Mr. Cobleigli though ' he
had reached the culminating point
in his domestic misery, Mrs. Cobleigh
was out in the kitchon attending to the
finishing touches of her Sunday morn
ing dutius, and Mr. Cobleigh was sit
ting up in bed trying to button his shirt
at the neck. He had Mb neck stretched
to its utmost tension with a view to re
ducing its circumference as much as
possible ; his head was thrown beck,
and his face which was red and mottled,
was twisted into a grimace expressive of
the most pregnant sufferings. Jn this
condition he was making herculean ef
forts to encompass his object, asd was
failing most signally. Anyone eimply
studying his face without catching as
much as a glixnpso of his fingers could'
accurately measure his successes. Thcre
was first the look of suppressed interest
as he brought the two points- together
without having either slip which grad
ually merged.-into one-ef hysterical
doabt as the hole partly slipped over
the button and this succeeded in turn
by an expression of quivering expecta
tion as but one move more remained to
accomplish complete success. Every
nerve m his body tingled at this point,
every musde was stretched to its-greatest
tension. He gave the last pressure
-rthe eyelet quivered an instant then
heat ited then supped, and botli em
suddenly dropped apart, and with Hg&V
mug rapidity the features of Mr. Cob
leigh becams oonvmlsed with passion,
while his ungovernable screams re
sounded through the ho-ase. Mrs. Cob
leigh, like a faithfHl wife, was oa kad
at ouc?, and was somewhat horriSed at
the spectacle of the fosming Cobleurh
sitting bolt upright in bed, -md glaring
like a maniac at tho footboard. She
came to his rescue at once, brought the
ends around his swelling throat, nipped
up the flesh to a degree that made him
howl, and succeeded finally in not only
getting the button iato the hole, but
also a good half-inch of skin with it.
She them threw him .a collar .and
whisked out of the room again. It
very soon transpired that Mr. Cob
leigh's troubles were only just com
menced. He looked at the collar mood
ily for a moment or two and then picked
it up and essayed to put it on. The
masculine reader is already aware that
an infamous mode of making hirt "but
tons, lately introduced, is without any
shoulder at all. It was hard enough in,
all conscience tcfHstea'-a paper collar
with the old-fashioned button to cling
to, but now no man with a spark of
emotion in his composition can possibly
hitch to tho pearl wafers in use without
becoming visibly and most unpleasantly
affected by the operation. Mr. Cob
leigh has several sparks of emotion in
his nature Mrs. Cobleigh says he is a
bunch of them. Ab thero was no possi
bility of getting a finger under the band
at the back he could use but one
hand, and he applied that with com
mendable indue try. His head was bent
way forward now, and his eyes pro
truded to such a degree that the tears
which were forced from them dropped
clear of his cheeks. He could almost
bear his spine crack from the pressure
he was subjected to, and his a mm at
the shoulders appeared to be his
worst enemies. Ever and anon a cry of
mingled rage and disappointment was
wrungfrom him, supplemented by an
explosive plirase which it is not neces
sary to print. It was on tho explosion
of one of these phrases that Mrs. Cob
leigh again took the alarm, and came
beaming in to learn the trouble. With
the instinct of affection, she started to
his relief, but her irate husband no
sooner saw her, than' he flow into an
unaccountable passion, and declared
with much heat that "when ho wanted
her he'd send for her, and ho'd put on
that collar himself or he'd bust every
shirt in the house." And ho went at it
with renewed energy, and every timejie
thought he had it his thumb would slip
by or over the top, and every time his
thumb aliped he would slap it under his
other arm, and draw up his body in tho
greatest pain, and grind out from be
tween his clenched teeth what the af
frighted lady understood to be, " Gaw-r-r-r-r-
doh-r-r-r r it." Suddenly and most
unoxnectedlv. tho back wafer took
hold, but not until he had seggested to I
ins wiie that here alter she had better
sew the button on tho inside of tho
bund aud put a patch over it, and then
perhaps ho could get his collar on with
in a fortnight. But his success ended
here. In vain he plied his blistered and
aching thumb to the button in front ; in
vain ho Hpread out bis legs and drew
them up again and ground his teeth ; in
vain ho pranced around, and smote his
fists, and chewed his tongue the ends
would not fasten ; and finally becoming
exhausted, and puffing liko a porpoise,
ho torq the collar from its fastening,
and grinding it beneath his heel, sworo
most vehemently that no woman would
put a collar on him without first passing
over his dead body. Upon that he
strode moodily iuto the garret, whilo
Mrs. Cobleigh with au aching heart,
and feeling unfitted for worship, seated
herself at tho front window and looked
through the blinds at the neighbors
going to church. Danbury Jfcws.
It is permitted to few men or com
panies to achieve acknowledged suberi-
ority in any important position or busi
ness. The present generation has wit
nessed stupendous rivalry in several
branches of industry, and notably tho
Sewing Machine business. Amid a
multitudo of .competitors, steadily and
surely the Wheeler & Wilson Company
held their way from the beginning, upon
fixed and honorable principles. Long
since, their leading position in America
was established. Abroad, at London,
jn 18G2. thev won the highest nrpn.i-
lims ; at Paris, in 1867, they distanced
eighty-two competitors, and were award
ed the highest premium, the only Gold
Medal for Snwincr AfarOn-mc arliHiifnl .
and lastly, amid unparalleled competi
tion, followed the splendid triumphs at
Vienna, noted in our -advertising col
According to Pliny, fire was a long
time unknown to some of tho ancient
Egyptians, and when a celebrated as
tronomer showed it to them, thoy were
absolutely in raptures. The Persians,
Phoenicians Greeks, and -several other
nations, acknowledged that their ances
tors were once without the use of fire,
and the Chinese confess the same of
their progenitors. Pompanion, Mola,
Plutarch and other ancient writers speak
of nations which, at the time when they
wrote, knew not .the mse of. fire, or had
just learned it. Facts of the same kind
are also attested by modern nations.
The inhabitants of the Marian Islands,
which were discovered in 1551, had eo
MeiH of fire. Never was astonishment
greater than theirs when they saw it on
the desert in one of their islands. At
first they belieTed it was some kind of
animal that fixed to and fed upon wood.
Fiskj stery Abeat Meeree.
The " Monroe doctrine "-will hare aa
other meaning it a story told by a cor
respondent of the Fredericksburg Star
coBcernfng; President 'Monroe, is true!
After leaving the White Honse, Mr.
Monroe resided in New York. Here he
became embarrassed and went back to
his fans Bear CriarlottesviUe. About a
year after a 3few Yk creditor sent to
James W. Saunders, lawyer, a claim of
$400 to collect, Saanders was well re
ceived by the ex-President, breakfasted
with hia. and had a deUghUsl tme u
til he politely broached the sabiect of.
the $400. Mr. Moaroe quietly batesed
to the reqaeet for pavateat, west to a
drawer, took cat, aot the asoaer, bat
two pietola, aad rated Mb Saasden
to a grove near the koase. The lawyer
owwraea, mmarmcmto saul he would
prefer battle to having his peace .of
asicd destroyed by hungry creditors.
FARM, H0USfc0MrAXT KITCHEN.
The English end Continental fanners
know tho value, f bono dust, and the
Americans will Mon.find it out.
Mr. M. Xj. Suuovaxt, the great Illi
nois farmer, of Livingston county, has
contracted for th erection of fifty tene
ment houses on his faun at Gibson.
Or guano, as a permanent fertilizer,
there is some dovtt ; bnt as a stimulant
of growing cropaytrn good soil, it is in
valuable, either o grass or arable lands.
Soot is u moat trainable manure, eith
er for grass or fortternips, ae it quickly
loroes eue plan;
excellent for -dest
ing the grub
A GimrDSTONZ should not be exposed
to tho weather, as it not only injures the
wood-work, but tho sun's rays harden
the stone and render it useless. Neither
should it tttand in tho water in which it
runs, as tho part remaining in water
softens no much that it wears unequally.
An Ohio farmer sneeets that the
granges set themselves about introduc
ing the English sparrow for the protec
tion of fruit-growers. Tho sparrows
breed fast and eat a good deal. A pair
of sparrows having a family to bring up
will consume over three thousand cater
pillars a week.
A man in Woodbury, N. Y., raised
and marketed from five-eighths of an
aero on hiB farm, egg-plants which sold
for $199.15; radishes which sold for $78
making a total of $577.15 caih iu
hand. Besides this his family was sup
plied and some given away. There
were 1,829 hills of the egg-plants, 3$ by
4 feet apart.
Pr-oriiE who, at husking time, have
barked their sore fingers and broken
their worn nails in the effort to make
spaco to start a shovel in a wagon load
of ears which they desiro to transfer to
the crib, can thank The Journal
of (he Farm for this suggestion of a
better way : " In loading corn tako to
the field a pieco of pine board six feet
long and a little wider than your shovel;
place an end on tho tailboard close to
ono corner of tho wagon and the other
on the bottom end: fill ur as usual.
In unloading, shovel down the board to
the bottom of tho wagon, and not an
ear need be touched by the hands."
To ,..,,. o , ., !. .!,.
-. . ..wUVf W..UW
common suture neeuic, a larco sewintr
needlo will do, but if slightlv
at tho point, better ; thread it with a
double cord, each one containing three
threads of fine saddler's thread well
twisted and waxed. Pass tho needle
through the center of the wart close to
tho skin, drawing the thiead half way
through. Cut the cord next to the nee
dlo, and tio each half separately with a
surgeon's or other , secure knot, as
tightly as possible, Cnt the ends off
close to tho knot, and the wart will soon,
disappear. If the wart is small at tho
base, the cord may bo tJed around it as
close to tho base as possible, aud the
same end will be accomplished.
It is a mistake in wheat culture to
sow inferior seed. Indeed this is very
foolish in regard to any and every crop.
Like begets liko. Weakness and dis
eate are propagated in the plant world
very much as thoy aro tranHiuittcd from
parent to child in tho world of human
beings. The greater pains should bo
taken to procure tho choicest seed that
can possibly be had. It will pay tho
farmer who depends upon his own
growing of seed, to cut out tho best por
tions of a field, when there is a per
ceptible differeuce, and devote them to
this important use. Indeed, it is a wise '
! a a 4 . , . t
policy to select tho earliest and finest
heads, and from those grow seed. It is
also well to obtain a chauge of need
from time to time, as successive sowing
in the same Boil and cliraato seems to
induce more or less degeneracy. The
farmer should never grudge a littlo ex
tra outlay in tho purchase of choice
seed. Such outlay is pretty certain to
be well rewarded.
Keboseneis tho best article over dis
covered to cleanse rust from grates and
To Purify Cider. A few slices of
tho red beet, put into a barrel of musty
cider, will deprive it of its disagreeable
taste and smell, as well as prevent it
from becoming vapid or acrid.
Purpiji Ink. Take one snd one-half
ounces gronnd logwood, ono-half ounce
pulverized alum in one and one-half
pint of soft water. This will make a
very fancy ink.
Frosted Feet. They may be cured
as follows: White oak bark, taken
Jresh and boiled in water for a strong
nquor. .Dame me leet in the liquor.
It is pronounced the be6t of all reme
dies. A hot lemonade is one of the best
remedies in the world for a cold. It
acts promptly and effectively, and has
no unpleasant after effects. One lemon
properly squeezed, cut in slices, put
with sugar, and covered with a half pint
of boiling water. Drink just before go
ing to bed, and do not expose yoarself
on the following day. This remedy will
ward off an attack of the chills and f ever
if used promptly.
Creosote toe Wabts. Dr. Haiaey,
of St. Thomas' Hospital, London, has
written an article for theaficef, detail
ing the effects of creosote applied to
warts. He applied it freely in an ob
stinate, warty excrescence on the finger,
then covered it over with a piece of
sticking plaster. This course he par
sned every three days for two weeks,
when the wart was found to have disap
peared, leaving the part beseatk it quite
AUaarcx, Soap. Tbe foUowiar is
commended by those who have tried it
for scrnbbiag and rlranias; pMP4d
floors, washing dishes, aad other koaae
hold purposes: Take two poaads'of
white olive soap aad share ft ia thia
slices ; add two ouacea of borax and
two quarts of cold water ; stir all to
gether im a stone or eartaera jar, aad
let set apoa the back of aha store an
til the mass be dissolved. AvarylitUe.
heat is required, as the liqaid seed aot
simmer. When thorrjugliry' arixed aad
cookd, .It becoBBea oMae eeasuteacv of
atiiick jelly, and a piece the sue of a
lather for a gal-
Giui'E Jam. Boil the grapes in just
water enough to mako them tender,
strain them through a colander, then
in ono pound of pulp put one pound of
sugar ; boil this half au hour ; the com
mon wild jf rapo makes a nice jam.
'Wine Whey. Boil a pint of milk,
and put to it a glass of white wino ; set
it over the fire till the curd has settled,
when strain it and sweoten to your
PiiAiN DooGHNCTK. One pint of rich
.Bnermuic, one neapuitr teaspoomui oi
. vi &juviurce
uiDiespooniw-B os meiiea iara, nour to
Pickled Onions. Peel off the outer
skin of small onions, boil them until
clear or half cooked, in salt water, and
throw them whilo smoking hot into a
jar of cold vinegar, spiced.
OATMEAIi GRUEIi. Mix
spoonful of fine oatmeal
groats with two tablesjwonfnis of cold
water and boil for ten injnntes, stirring
frequently. For a richer gruel, boil
two tablespoon fills of groats in a quart
of water for an hour. Strain through a
sieve ; stir in a piece of butter large as
a walnut and some sugar, nutmeg or
Frizzled Beef. Into a pan put
slices of dried beef, with iust enough
boiling water to cover them. Let
them cook ten minutes aud drain off the
water. 11 not fine enough, cut smaller.
Return to tho pan with a lump of but
ter the size of a walnut, and a little pep
per. To a quarter of a pound of beef
allow two eggs, beat well together, and
when the beef is hot, stir in. Cook
about threo minutes, and send to table
How to PnErAKE Coffee. French
cooks say good coffee cannot bo made
by boiling; it must be leached ; tho
aroma and flavor of the coffee goes off
in the steam if it is boiled. Tho ground
coffee must bo put in a vessel that is
liko a fine sievo in tho bottom, pour
boiling water on this, and & Boon as it
passes through it is fit for use and if not
I U81 immediately should bo placed
! where it will simply keep hot and not
boiI'. w give this French method of
maiang goou couee not lor tue oenent
of hvgienists, for they will not use cof-
' tan. but in tlinnn who ntill (Wl rrinf. f linv
i j. A.. x. ,1 J
must take coffee, we would say, if you
must nave it, mane u in mo nest way.
Journal of. Health.
Tho San Francisco papers give
full accounts of the wrestling-match
between McLaughlin, of Detroit, and
Whalen, of California, for $4,000 and
tho championship, which was recently
contested in tho Golden City in the
presenco of an immenso and excited
audience. The Call says :
Tho rival athletes have met, and Cali
fornia's champion went down beforo the
superior prowess of the man from the
East, or, as he is facetiously termed,
The agreement set forth that the
match was to bo for $2,000 a side, collar
and elbow grips, falls best two iu three,
the contestants to wear short coats,
light costume, and canvas shoes. The
men wero then introduced, and the dis
parity iu sizo became at onco apparent.
AIcLanglriin looked a very giant in his
whito tights, beneath which tho mus
cles plavcd at every movement.
side the gigantic frame of " Tho For
oigner" "Corduroy's" form seemed al
Alii At A. i .11 . . mi
most liko that of a tall, slim boy. The
two men were greeted with terrific
shouts, which were continued for some '
Tho noise having subsided, the men
stepped forward, and after tho pre-.
liminary hand-shaking the grip was '
taken, and the struggle commenced at '
precisely 9 o'clock. Whalen evidently '
perceived the great advantage of weight
possessed by his opponent, and stood
upon the defensive, endeavoring to ,
draw out "The Foreigner's" tactics.
The latter pressed "Corduroy" with ap-
parently too great display and surplus J
movement, making frequent feints that
seemed entirely unnecessary. Whalen
remained perfectly cool, and it J
teemed as though the contest would i
become protracted, when, quick as a )
flash, McLaughlin lifted Whaien clear
off the floor aad threw him fair upon his
back at the rear of the stage, and then,
without changing his hold, lifted the
fallen "Corduroy" upoa hia feet with
but little effort. The fall was from
right to left, perfectly clear and fair,
and accomplished in four minutes and a
At 9:12 o'clock the men again stood '
breast to breast upon the boards. Both
men maneuvered for some time. Mc-'
T.awtftiltn foiniinc wil. U Cl.. -.,,1
left Whalen had changed his tactics
somewhat, and, while rrnnining on the
defensive, dragged hie opponent over
the floor, watching every opportunity to
arrive at tbe right moment. Finding
that "CrdtuoyseeaaeddeterBiiBed to
draw him toward the sides of the stage,
McLaughlin drove aim clear back to the
reporters' tables, and by mere main
force threw him apon them. Cries of
' Foul, foal," rang oat froai every por
tioa of the hones, and a storm of hisses
washarled at the seaming "Foreigner,"
whose undent object in throwiag " Cor
darcy among the itemizers waa to
worry him and render him leas cooL
Saddenly, and before the aadieace had
a single warning. Whales was again
apon his back, in almost the same place
as before, hariag teem throw by exactly
the same process of lifting by maia
atreagth and throwing square aad fair.
Aroaxw Jacxxov wasoBce amking a
stump speech ia a eoratry village oat
WeaT. Just M vaB coacladiag,
Amos Jaendall, who sat beside hia,
whispered : " Tip 'em a little Lama,
Geaeral ; they won't be satiated with
ontit" Tke"kroof New Orieaaa"
iaataatly thomgat of a few phrases he
ksew. aid, ia a Teioeof taaader, wnaal
ap hie speech by erriaiaMat; : i'Eplari
bws aaam, Siae qaa bob, Ne alas altra,
mauamin rarro.' xae eawet wi
meodoaa, aad the stoats eoald be
cubic inch will make a
Ion of water.
The Grangers number 751,125.
Berlin rejoices in ono street railway.
Tiiere are 61.000 peoplo iu Rich
mond. " Whatever is, is right." If it isn't,
we'll make it so.
The dentists are pulhug through the
hard times remarkably well.
Dio Lewis says that high living is the
foundation of every cemetery.
Neari.t every pound of butter used in
Florida is shipped from Ohio.
jfoi" coat of tlie JDoadoHiUBdergroaiid
railway was 1,000,000 per mile.
"Hat fever" is what Memlwrs of
Congress call tho Granger rago.
There are 655 Good Templar lodges
in Wales, with G0.000 memlwrs.
A man at West Wheeling, Ya., made
no Kegs oi eight-penny nails in a week.
Harper' Matnzinc is offered "100
articles a woek. Less than ten aro ac
cepted. Six-venny, telegrams aro to bo intro
duced in England, and half-penny letter
In less than a century tho whole ara
ble land of tho United States will bo ta
ken up by actual settlers.
The Athens (Tenn.) W thinks that
Andrew Johnson will bo the next Con
gressman from that district.
A French novelist has ono of his
characters bored through with an auger
in the hands of an American.
In Nanles a barber will hIiuv.v ?ni
hair, comb, brush, black boot, and giv
you a cigar aud call it square for ten
According to recent returns, the
total amount invested in English rail
ways is 329,090,000, or about $1,6-10,-000,000.
Only one man has over dared to
climb tho spire of St Paul's Church,
London, though 20 is offered to unv
one who will repaint the bolt
"NArKiNS, sir! napkins .'" roared a
Green Bay landlord; " no, sir, mo
haven't got any; but if you want to wipe
your noso I'll lend you my handker
chief." Durino tho impending famino in In
dia tho Government will bo called upon
to supply half a pound of graiu per
day, for eight months, to 25,000,000
Sam Foster, of Washington countv,
N. Y., threshed, by hand, ninety bush
els of oats in thirteen hours. Sam
should get out a patent for himeelf im
mediately. On tho occasion of tho one hundredth
anniversary birthday of Mozart, recent
ly, it was proposed to decorate his
grave, but noxouo was ablo to point out
tho final resting place of tho immortal
Op the 2.059 convicts HPntnrii1 In Ihn
Maine State Prison during its fifty
years of existence, there has been but
one clergyman, and, so far ns is known,
but ono person who was a member of a
The French Government has decided
that tho Chinei-o Museum at Fontaine
blcau and the collection of arms and
armor at Picrreford belonged to the
private estate of Napoleon III., and
must thereforo be paid for by France.
Corn meal, heated and placed in
bags, is recommended as a Mibatiluto
for hot water Iwttlca and Biich liko ap
pjiances, for restoring warmth to the
sick. It, is said to weigh loss, retain
heat longer, and does not chill when
The enormous profits of street rail
roads in some cities is shown by tho re
Sirt of tho Third Avenue railroad in
ew York. Its receipts last year were
$2,140,246 ; expenses, $1,214,132. leav
ing a handsome dividend of $926,694 on
$2,000,000 of stock.
In England, street railroads aru com
monly known as tramways. The word
" tram" is said to le an abbreviation of
"Ontram," tho father of Sir James
Outram, renowned for his military ex
ploits in India, having Iveen the inventor
of trams and tramways.
The question of regulating railway
rates and management by law is now
pending in tho "Legislatures of Minne
sota, Wisconsin, Iowa, Missouri and
Kansas. The question is rapidly as
suming a national importance and will
hardly be settled r hort of the highest
Thtbtt-seven of the seventy-two Sen
ators in Washington aro accompanied
by their wires, and nineteen have their
daaghters with them. Of the 298
representatives and Delegates, 129
have their wives with them, and many
of the others are accompanied by
daghters and lady friends.
A Kevel Theater.
A visitor of the Chinese theater, in
San Francisco, does not seem to be
particubulr charmed by the Mongolian
drama. He says: "Battle scenes are
stock ingredient of the Chinese drama,
and are eosducted oa a principle total
ly at variaace with all oar modern ideas
of warfare. It is no uncoauaoa feat for
the hero to dismiss his army, aad, single-handed,
conqaer the enemy, merely
using his soldiers as a parsniag force.
Tbe stage, which is limited, ia that the
orchestra occupy nearly the whole of it,
is merely a platfonaflanked by the walls
of the hoase, lit up by some foar or five
footlights and two attesnated gas-pipes
pendant on either aide of the hoase,
which terminate in numerous gas jets
far more aeerai than oraameatal. Ia
tbe rear a aerees, festooaed, with
eaeara, amor laaaieal iaatrameata, aad
.dmbolieal characters, serves as a sarti
tioa to veil the drreaing run am aad
greem room from the eye of the casual
observer, aad two cwTtaiaed doors are
the meaaa of exft aad easraaee. It has
aever bees oar mfifmlan to hear the
overtare, if one be played, hat jadgiag
by the deaeriptrre mean, aadnsgiag
dariag the progress of the play, which
for waaderiag miaearel eats, aothxagaaa
tiik uiioyr that Ji.n maw.
(JCtiiMU iW Jutb'vtiy, 17?.)
ly, to tint JJ the ea(finrr
Obcwtji alnt IhlDff . r a. to far,
Sptrit Jont fool llh lorrra ranch.
Anil lhrot!lTlir tlnal like la nch ;
Anil a tor Jlai
What hapimrl to htm
Waa ot-balr fact aat Ut other half whttn I
Runniojt ou night ou tho line, b taw J
A hou a pU!B a tho tanral law
J uit bj tho UHMbUt lii. and thctx
Cam a tlrutiarn matt with himMrMtx'
Than to itroi iu the rail.
Flat aa a tU,
Aa Jim dro by with the wMnUht mail.
Down nit tb patent. Htram r"vmd.
Too Ut ! for thee cam a tun J." Jlni carafel,
A hi nrvman. thrln the cab with Utm,
KluJcr itarrtl iu ib Uc i Jim.
AUilaaia. "Wliat Mtrwl' ..
Haya Jim, " What 'mrw I
Vre Juat rna oiar a man that's ba l"
Th Drinu atarwl at Jim. They ran
Rack, but thy nvr fonnl hvma nor man
Nary a rhatlow within a mil.
J tin turartl !, but h trtM to mil
Thu on he iur.
Tti milra nr tuor,
lu taulcarr tlm. than hM rufel afut.
Would )uu 1Ut It !-lhe rrry nil blht
lp roan that huu lU tha jnooulltfht whit;
Out cornea tbe chap and drnj aa btor.
iKiwn gora the Uraiiw, and th tt aUiOr
And . In fart,
I ju-h nitht that ac
tvxurrrd, till folW wvr Jim crackrrf.
Humph! Let tna; ll'n a year now, tuc-t.
That I mt Jim, Kat, anil 1.1. " How't your
"Oou,,ay Jlw; "aud tnor, tfa plain
That ghoat tlont trutiU tu again ;
I tbtu,fht I rhuok
That shot whm 1 took
A tUfe ou au Eaalvru Uue hut kik :
What ahould I rurct th flrt trip out.
Hut that Terr botiwi that wa talksd about,
Aud that !f.asii man Wrll," uti I, I u
lt' tltn to ttoji thia cr fuollahut,'
Ho I crammed on taui.
When there cam a evrrani
From my Arrtnan attd that brok my dream
" You've killed aomebody J" Keya I, " Not much ;
l' bocu tbar often and I bar alnt u audi,
Aud now III prove It." luck we ran.
Aud darn my kln tut thar uu a man
Ou the rail, di4d,
ttmaabed In th head
Now I call that meaner I" That all Jim Jt.
Ilrtt llartt, (n fA .Vcie 1'ert Tim..
Exrr.NHivi: furniture Indian Hit.
Ct'itK for n felon Tako It to tho jwni
teutiary. A criminal court Sparking another
Lazy husbnndo aro known out Wt
as stovo watchers.
Why ix a coachman like tho cloud ?
Because he holds tho reiiiH.
Rkal. chuck of kidnapping When the
baby is " cribbed " at night,
MAimuon is described by n French
cynic as a tiresome book with a very fine
James says his grocer, having been
converted, lias forsaken the errors of
Ir n mini overrate, his uleep will be
disturbed by tho nightmare another
name for provisions.
Lkt your motto be, " Liberty or
Death, " aud if it conic to the pinch
tuko tho most iu liberty.
" I hat," said a rough fellow to a fop
with conspicuous bow-Iegs "I nay,
don't you havo to hnvo your pithtaloons
cut with a circular saw V"
Onb who kiioun how it is herself says,
"The man who is awfully urbane Hi hit
wifo beforo strangers, is generally also
her banc behind their bocks."
Now i8 the time for tree sgent. Look
carefully at their lino picture of fruit.
It looks tempting, but Ihj careful you
aro not charmed by tho gnudy paint."
C.VMroiiNiA agriculturist nro going
largely into ginger. They haven't got
much beyond the first syllable yrt, but
hopo to do so when their plants germi
nate. " What is Heaven's bst gift to aau ?"
asked a young lady on Kssex street,
Sunday night, smiling sweetly on u
pleasant looking clerk. " A how, re
plied the young man, with great prud
ence. Danbury JVeu.'.
A Nevada paper says: "The many
friends of Hill ThomiMon will regret to
hear that he was hashed nj by a cata
mount to-day, on Nixon's Hill, r while ly
ing in wait to choot a Chinaman. This
was always a world of disapjtointment."
A max in Iowa by the name of Silas
Chew was married the other -day to a
girl named Anna Good. The most ob
tase person would instantly call to mind
the Scriptural injunction, "Jj. Chew
tliat which in evil, cleaving only to that
which is Good."
"Mas. HorxiKH, why don't ym sprin
kle ashes on your icy sidewalk likaOf rr.
Bedun, your opposite neighbor, for tlm
lienefit of passers-by, aad so imitate the
Good Samaritan?" "Let the pawuirs
by imitate the Priest and Lente, aad
pass by on tho other side."
A yodsq lady who entered a Broad
way music store, and asked the young
maa in attendaace, " Have you Happy
Dreams 7" was astonished whs he re
plied, "No, ma'am, I'm mostly troubled
with the rightmare' He dida't kaew
why she went out so hurriedly ami
slammed the store door af Usr her.
5eMc Ceaiart ef aag.
Among the vessels which weat ashore
dariag the Aagast galea oa the Nova
Scotia coast was the schooner J. C.
Smith, of Wellfleet, which went on near
Mr. Madeasoiaelie. Soos after she
struck several of the crew swung ashore
on the staysail halliard. Foar were
drowsed. One young au washed
overboard, aad while vainly straggling
in the aarf was seen by a large New
fowadmad dog, which wasat the too of
the bias fairy fiftees feet above the
water. Ia aa mat sat he alamged over
tbe preetpice aad ia almost aa little
time as it takes to telk waa oatsmaag
?be rocks aad aadettew; He diaap
peered freas sight far Mitm al akiamtea,
aad when aext aeea had goatea km keaV
partly over a roek, luakamde, aad
while almoet strangled himeilf, waa
dtaggiag forth with iainmilahle grip
tbe orwasag yeas, nt aaramaja '
Both hoy aad doc a
akhoajrfj- aeariy eakaaattlwl
they reached the than.
Craaxsa is ia. aarmoay wh the age.
He is 74. -'-- ei
2. A . M
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