THE HEfc&tO. HUM OB. Thirtj" days after a Michigan man got a divorce from his wife to marry one with ti handsomer face the woman fell heir to $287,000. You bet that ex husbaud feels like a man with the jumping toothache. Culture and slang: "Acquires the confection" is tho Boston girl's trans lation of "Takes the cake." Similarly, "The proper caper" becomes "The coiTect contortion." Consolation misapplied: "Yon must feel lonely, since your husband went away," consolingly observed a neighbor to her lady friend. "Not at all," she replied : it is the first holiday I have had since I was school-girl." "I declare, John, I never saw such a man! You are always gctiing some new wrinkle." And the brnte calmly replied:" "Matilda, 3011 are not, thank fortune. If 3011 had a new wrinkle, you would have no place to put it, dear." The decorative art mania. Miss Non anfait: "What a charming love of a cup marked 'Tom and Jerry P " Gentleman ly vendor of majolica: "Yes, we sell a large number of them." MissX.: "But haven't you some marked Clifford and Alvoid, or Bertie and Georgie?" A Chicago young man broke into the room of the girl he loved, to cany her away, as she refused to marry hini. She was absent, but left the bidl dog asleep on the bed. The room was dark. The tlog diilrf t bark Lut worked. In about seven minutes the remains of tho young man came out and said he wouldn't marry that girl for $70,000. "O, smile as thou wert wont to smile," sang the idol of little Toddlekin's soul one evening as he sat on tho lounge in the parlor. He had recently at her earnest request sworn off tho use of in toxicating fluids. As she repeated tho refrain he looked up calmly with a strange, far-off look in Ids thirsty eje and leached for his hat. "You don't know, Maria; 3011 don't know," said little Toddlekin, "what a weight that song has lifted from my heart." He smiled again that evening a3 he was wont, but she never again sang so touching a ballad. At a roj'al wedding in Germany it is customary for the mistress'of ceremonies to cut np one of the bride's garters into small pieces, which are distributed to those who have taken part in the fes tivities of the day. As a large number are entitled to these fragments of the Order of the Garter, it is not quite clear how one garter, or even a pair of gait ers, could supply the demand. At Prince William's recent marriage the difficulty was met bj using many yards of ribbon instead of the bride's garter. "Ma," said an urchin with dirt-covered knuckles and a pocket full of marbles, "is it wicked to play marbles for keeps?" "Yes, my son, ami 30U must never do it." "Is it wicked when 3'ou lose all the time?" "Yes. just the same." "Is it wicked if you win all the time and play with a boy who says his mother says if she had 3 0111' feet she'd never go out except after dark?" "I I go and wash 3rour hands and get ready for supper!" was the sharp reply, and the lad continued to play for keeps. A would-be mother-in-law meets a friend, lately in tho same predicament, who cries out: "Oh, my dear, I have such a piece of news for 3011. My daughter was married yesterday!" "How nice! But how did 3011 manage it? Was your son-in-law indifferent to your lack of money, or did 3 011 make him believe 3011 were rich?" "Oh, no (with a gleeful chuckle): I got our family doctor to tell him I couldn't live six months." "Dearest Harold, I love you with all the deep devotion of my sex. Your image is inefl'aceabl3 engraved on the tablets of my memoiy, and in my heart the love I bear for you can never, never die. But I am extravagant, wildly am bitious to shine in i-ociet, to sit beside the jeweled queens of fashion, to dazzle all e3es with priceless gems, and so, dear, dear Harold, 1 must many tho plumber." Concerning Parlors. Ivndon Society. . The word "parlor" is the remnant of a b3gone slate of things. The da3s are gone past when Sir Charles Graudison made his stately bow in the cedar par lor. "There are no parlors nowada3s, U13' dear," said an old lady, whom wo may call Mrs. Partington! "except, I believe, in the public houses." We have dining-room, drawing-room, studios, libraries, smoking-rooms, but the parlor in the ordinary British mansion- has al most become a tiling of the past. It re mains, in a highly fossilized condition, us a venerable institution prized by the lower middle class. "Will you walk into my parlor? said the spider to the fly," and I always recognize the wretch ed feelings of that suicidal fly when I am invited into what people call a par lor. Very probablv it is only used on state occasions. The famil3' may bur row in some subterranean" apartment in the basement. We perceive by a hun dred signs that such a parlor is not a living room, but a dead room. It i3 full of stiffness and angularities, hard chairs and still harder .sofas. The region in which the parlor retains any vitality is the agricultural region. In multitudes of farm-houses, and in some vicarages, this kind of apartment is still found. But the British farmer follows hard on the tracks of the 'Squire, and gives up the humbler for the more ambitious nomenclature. It is the better class of laborer and the thriving artisan'who are now aiming at the possession of parlors. Among them the parlor is really a happy and an educating influ ence. So prevalent have been peace and plenty of recent years, that in the suburbs of great towns 30U may pass whole rows of tenements in which you may distinguish pleasant parlors, with ilowering plants Idling the windows and the sound of pianos clashing all down the row. Still, in special cases. the name of parlor yet survives, and of these I would say a few words. The parlor or parloir (La. parabolare; Fr. purolcr, parlor), as the name indicates, is a place wherein to converse. The waiting-room of a club is essentially a pai-lor; in a less formal, but more real, sense so is the smoking-room. The old lady was perfectly correct in her allu sion which, however, was hardly to be expected of her to public houses. It would have been more decent if she had talked about taverns. And what glorious talk there has been in tavern parlors before now! We think of Ben Jonson at the Mermaid and Sam John son at tho Turk's Iiead. There are still a few wits and scholars who haunt the sanded parlors of hostels about Fleet street: -When all his warm heart, sherris-warmed, Flashed forth in random speeches. Such men have felt and said that there is no throne like the easy chair of a tavern parlor. Perhaps there are other attractions besides wit and liquor for a tavern parlor. I know a great firm that advertises for pretty bar maids, and always sends them homo at nights in a special conve3ance, to be intrusted to the charge of a most respectable matron. A resolution ha3 passed the Texas legislature requiring that women shall be'eniployed in the State department for every position they arc competent to fill, upon the same terms and condi tions as men. NEWS BEEVITIE3. Lady Burdett-Coutts' Columbia mar ket is to be turned iutoatobacco manu factorj. The thunder of great wonts does not alva3s betoken a great thought, for nianv a grand salute is fired with a blank cartridge. M. Gustave Pore's mother is dead, aged 74. He always lived with her. She was the widow of a government en gineer of bridges and highways. Edmond do Lafayette, the 3ounger brother of the late marquis, is now the only living grandson, in the direct male line, of Lafayette. Ex-Secretary Kvarts gets even with tho carpers who complain of his long sentences. lie savs tl.e oulv men who object to long sentences are criminals. It is now said that the gentleman known as Commandant AlfredAylward, now serving with the Boers, is no other than Mtirply, the Manchester informer. Secretaiy Lincoln's face in repose is described as serious almost to stern ness; but when he smiles it grows bright, and then he "is positively and undeniable handsome." . The empress of Austria complains that Knghtud is disappointing after Ire land; that there is no "leppin," and that the fields are too small for a good gallop. A distinguished German geographer is of opinion that the diamond district of Africa is the Ophir from which King Solomon drew such liberal supplies of gold ami precious stones. Plysicians in the mining regions say that the presence of diphtheria is direct ly traceable to oleomargarine, adultera ted molasses, sugar, etc., which are largely used in that section. Jefferson Davis Bill, of Connecticut, has completed his studies at Eastman College, Poughkcepsie. He has two brothers named Lecompton Constitution Bill and Kansas Nebraska Bill. Samual J. Tilden, though now an old man, is active engaged in railway operations. He is estimated at $10,000, 000, and hence ma3 be considered tho richest bachelor in the country. Lady Walter Campbell and Miss Bal dock, though not professional beauties, are gaining celebrity as among the pret tiest women in London, and the society papers seem likely to luike them pro fessionals in time. Prof. Ko-Kun-Hua, who graces tiio Chinese chair at Harvard, has frequent and severe twinges of rheumatism, and is said to express his opinion of the Mc lican climate in language that is more flowery than celestial. The wife of the Hon. Timothy O. Howe, of Wisconsin, will reside with her daughter, Mrs. Totten, in Washing ton, while the ex-senator is in atten dance upon the international monetary conference in Paris. Mr. Wash McLean, of the Cincinna ti Enquirer, has purchased a lot in Washington on which he will erect a handsome mansion, to be presented to his daughter, the wife of Gen. Hazen, of the signal service. "Florence Percy," the author of 'Rock Me to Sleep," Mother, now lives in Maine, and edits a paper there. One of her3oung daughters has for a name her mother's nom-de-plurne of Florence Ferc3r. It is proposed to build a ship canal across the State of Deleware A com pan3 is to be formed with a capital of $30,000,000, and application has been made to the Legislature for the riht of way. An old man- in San Francisco com mitted suicide because two confidence swindlers had robbed him of $2,600, by which act he saved them from punish ment, as ho was the 011I3 witness against them. The Austrian Empress' huntintr ex ploits in Ireland and England are con sidered scandalous b3r tin sta-at-homo ladies of the court in Vienna, whoso taste lies in dress, eating, balls, and theatricals. On the evening of the day when the czar was assassinated one of thoso strange coincidences for winch even the "doctrine of chances" can scarcely account for satisfactorily to the average human intellect occurred in the Stadt theatre, of Berlin. A new comedy was being performed for the first time, in a certain "situation" of which, part of the leading character's "business" wa3 to take a golden snuff-box out of his pock et, and, while opening it preparatory to helping himself to a pinch, to speak the words: "This box was presented to me b3 the emperor of Russia." As Mr. Mejo, tho actor cast for the part in question, was pronouncing the above sentence, a gentleman, obviously much agitated, forced his way into the centro of the stalls, and, turning round so as to face the bod3T of tho house, ex claimed: "The news has just arrived that the emperor of Russia has been murdered!" A scene of considerable confusion ensued; many persons left tho house hurriedly with the object of ob taining authentic information of the terrible tidings, and the performance was interrupted for several minutes, until publje excitement had somewhat calmed down. According to the Coitrrier tits Tit as Unix tho story circulated by most of the morning newspapers to the effect that Pierre Joubert, now at the head of the military forces of the Boers, is an Amer ican by birth, was 6impl3 a romance invented by a Pittsburgh correspon dent. He was of a famil3 of French Huguenots who at one time, driven from the country by the edict of Nantes, sought refuge in Holland. One of his ancestors, Pierre Joubert, emigrated, according to documentary evidence, to tho Cape of Good Hope in IGS7 from Frovenee, in Frauce, and the family has been known there ever since. Accord ing to the American biography Joubert is only 42 cars old, but the correspon dent of the Courrier assures the public that he is almost 60. Blind Tom at a concert recently in Staunton, Va., displaed a most won derful feat of memory. Twent3-one years ago, while in Frederick, Md., Prof. E. L. Ide pla3ed a German waltz, which was then repeated by Tom. Mr. Ide was present at tho Staunton con cert, and asked Tom if ho remembered . the concert in Frederick in I860. In answer he not only stated the name of the hall where the concert took place, but also played the waltz, note for note, including some alterations tha1, Mr. Ide had purpose y made in it. It is a curious fact, that according to the census returns, the average intel ligence of the inhabitants of California ami Colorado is greater than that of any other State in the Union. In Colorado graduates of Eastern colleges are found in almost every position in life. The former president of a business collego in Kansas drives a coal cart in Denver. A graduate of Yale, of the class of '68, and afterward, for two years, a profes sor in Cornell University, is pastry cook in a hotel in one of the mining towns, while the dish-washer in the same hotel belongs to the Bar of the Supreme Court of New York. Mr. W. II. H. Murray's estate inGuil ford, Conn., is to be sold at auction to pa3 taxes. Timothy Maher, the strongest man in New Haven, is dead. He could hold COO pounds suspended from his middle finger- SCIENTIFIC. .. It is said that, during a hail-storm fn Geneva on Jan. 19, Prof. Colladon ob j served that - tho hail-stones repelled j each other as they fell, and that after : lying quiet for a moment or two on the ground, bounded about like the electric hail experiment of Newton with pith balls. Prof. Tidy, in a paper read before the j Loudon Chemical society, restates, in I reply to Dr. Frankland, his lirm con- viction sliat a fairly rapid river, having ; received sewage in quantity not exceed ing one-twentieth of its volume regains its purity after a run of a few miles, itiia becomes wholesome and good for drinking. In a centigrade photometer invented ly S. Coglievina, there is an attempt made to remedy the imperfection of other instruments by substituting for a single source of light, defined 03 the substance of the combustion, or its hourly consumption, a name of variable size?, which can be reduced to any par ticular degree of illuminating power. It is the intention of Coglievina to & y the same principle in dealing with electric and other sources of light. Prussia acid remains for a consider able time in the bodies of animals poi soned with it. and arrests their decay. M. Brame killed a rabbit and a rat by administering to each a gramme of this acid. A month afterward their bodies were found perfectly preserved, the j dose being sufficient to permeate the 1 issues, and to become intimately incor ! p ated with those of the stomach. llusty-colorotl spots were noticed on some Hammock-canvas U3e.i oy tno French army in Algeria. Dr. Tripler reported that when the canvas was washed dark spots appeared, and the material soon fell to piece."1. M. Balland made this matter the subject of a paper read on Feb. 28 lief ore the French Aca demy of Sciences, and said that the spots were probably due to iron sul phite, produced by alkaline sulphides in the artificial soda, and by iron oxide fixed bj the stuff in manufacture. The sulphide passed into tho state of sul phate under atmospheric influences by a combustion which caused a destruc tion of the canvas. Prof. Goeppert, of the University of Breslau, while journeying through Rhincland ly tho Bergisch-Markisc!;e railway, stopped for a short time at Elderlield. Something struck him as peculiar in the structure of certain blocks of stone only lately uncovered in making an excavation. Subsequent ly he secured these blocks, ana had some of them sent to Breslau and some to Bonn. The3 were found to contain a fossil treo of the araucantes family, The rock inclosing the fossil was the tipper Devonian of Eibcrlield. This affords evidence of a terrestrial flora existing long before the great bogs were formed which gave us our coal seams. The fossil tree has received the name of Araucarites elberf ehlensis. Mr. J. W. Swan, in a paper on the subdivision of the electric light, does not hope for any extensive and eco nomical subdivision of tho light by lamps in which there is combustion. The true incandescent lamps prevent the combustion of the carbon in one or two days cither b3 the entire ex haustion of the air from tho chamber in which the heated carbon is placed, or by the filling- of the chamber with an inert gas such as nitrogen. Both these expedients were tried by the early inventors, and both have still their ad vocates. The early experimenters failed to accomplish what they sought from three causes, any one of which was sufficient to bar tho va. J-irst, the carbons employed were so thick as to require a largo current to produce tho required temperature in them; second. the carbons were not durable, and third, the lamp-glass speedily became obscured. He showed that it was the invention of the Snrengel pump, and the use Mr. Crookes showed could be made of it, that has caused modern electricians to be sf successful as thev are in obtaining electric light by in candescence. Eobust Imaginations- Carson City (Ncv.) Addm-I. Yesterday afternoon, when the lawyers in Justice Cary's Court were waiting for the verdi. t in a petty Iareenv case. Attorney Soderberg related an incident of his early childhood in .Minnesota, illustrative of the peculiar customs in that State: "I knew an old farmer there who owned ten acres of timber land where millions of pigeons came each year to roost. They devastated the wheat fields, and the old coon used to catch the birds in nests and thrash them out on the barn floor. Each bird had three ounces of wheat in his crop, and it was a bad vear for Ohl 1 hompson when he couldn't ship 1,000 bushels of wheat to market at $2.60 a bushel, and it ranked A No. 1 when it reached the Chicago elevator. If there had been a few million more of pigeons he would have come pretty near getting a corner on the Minnesota wheat crop. "I know a planter down in Alabama,' said Kittrell, "who was fully as sharp as that. He trained an alligator to work up ami down the river and catch the little picaninnies that played along the bank, lhe alligator would take tiie little kids in Ids jaws and swim back to the plantation. It was a dull day that he coin, In t corral three or four. The planter raised 'em carefully, and when tl.ey got bii; sold em in ."ew Ur- leans at prices ranging from $3,000 to $10,000 npie.-c' He was rolling in wealth when Lincoln's Emancipation Procl.nnalion was issued, and after that the alligator never did any more work. The man is now barely keeping body'and soul together 111 Washington, clerking 1:1 one I the lioverument bu reaus at $3.(:Oi) a year." Jud o Car. evinced the greatest in terest in liivse weird talcs, and edged up to the L'n-up. "Thcsj are curious y arns, gentlemen. but 1 believe them all. 1 had a dog once, back in Nebraska that I kept to herd lumber. "Beg pardon. Judge; did you say the dog herded lumber? "Yes, sir, cottonwood boards. We alwa3s keep a dog there to bring tho lumber in at night." Everybody now paid the closest at tention, as they knew the boss was at work. "It was this way. Cottonwood boards waq like thunder in the sun. A board would begin, to hump its back up about 9 in tho morning, and in half an hour it would turn over. By 11 it would warp the other way with the heat, and make another flop. Each time it mov ed it turned a couple of feet, always following tho sun towards tho west. Tho first summer I lived in Brownsvillo over 10,000 foet of lumber skipped out to the hills the day before I had adveiv tised a house raisin'. I went to the county-seat to attend a lawsuit, and when I got back there wasn't a stick of timber left. It had strayed away Into the uplands, An ordinary board would climb a two-mile hill during a hot week, and when it struck the timber it would keep worm in in and out among tho trees like a garter-snake. Every far mer in the State had to keep shepherd dogs to foilow his lumber around the country, keep it together, and show where it was in the morning. We didn't need any flumes there for lumber. We sawed it east of the place wo wanted to use it, and let it warp it self to its desti nation, with men and dogs to head it oft' at the r'-rl.t time. Wo never lost a 1 stick. Well, here comes the jury," con tinued the Judge. "The witnesses lied, so I guess they will disagree," DR. Or CCKK3 TUUUSAMi : VI. i i i 4 . Ais c:: .sji?r:oiT. W Is the Eest of Tpnics;lr V W , v w Restores the Appetite; F t H?S2iS'Mit!fM the System; E tZS&i - Restores tae Weak k i4' and Debilitated. F mrZ jr?..i! A trial of it will prove all S "r uures uyspepsia; " ievTsT" "e claim. A nil onrdmteil C Aj-r&ii2S tor nr.rrabh'i Wlach K V1ir of Tart tke no other, r M O V.r aalo by all Druggii-ts. Ik 3 a S.N. SMITH 4 CO.. Prop'rJ TUTT POLL INDORSED BY PHYSICIANS, CLERGYMEN, AND THE AFFLICTED EVERYWHERE. THE GREATEST MEDICAL TRIUMPH OF THE AGE. SYMPTOMS OF A TORPID LIVER. Loss of Bppetlte,N'augea,bowel3 costive, Pain in theHead.with a dull sensation in the back part. Pain under the Bhoulder blade, fullness after eating, with a diaiii clination to exertion of "body or" inind" Irritability of temper, Low spjrjtgjjjQsa oftaemory, with a feeling of having neg Tected someduty,wearineBs, Dizziness, luUeringjif thejieart. Dots before the eyes. Vellow Skin, Headache, Hestlgja ness at night, highly colored Urine. IFTHESE-WARNINGS ARE UNHEEDED, SERIOUS DISEASES WILL SOON BE DEVELOPED. TTTTTS PILLS are especially adapted to such caNVft, one dose effect suchaeliange of feeling as to astonish the tuft'erer. They Inrrrair tlie A ppel lie, and canae the body to Tn It e on Fleli. thus the a.vtlem is ourtahea.arHl by tlicirTonIe Artluon the Itlfteal duced. ItlKestlve Onrana. Kefrular fctoola are pro- 1 TKT III.. l -V1. - TUTT'S HAIR DYE. Gray Hair or Whiskers changed to a Glossy BiAi k by a single application of thin Dyk. It linpartM a natural color, acts Instantaneously. Sold ly Drussjist or oenl hy express on rKeipt of Jl. Office. 35 Murray St., New York. CDr. 1TTT8 AXTtl, mt Valu.hlr I.ront.llu mm f'-n.l KmH will mmllrd HhU mm mpmitaUUm.0 filTTIH 61 7 St. Charles Sti ct t, St. Louis, Ko. A retrtilar graduate of tvr Mtviical CJollt6, b;is boea longer located t iu.i any oti.eri'ayBicuia iii bt Ixmis.a city papers sho'v.K.id nil old rvkitiuatx know. Syphilis, Gonorrhoea, Oloec Stricture, Orchiu. Kupture.all Urinary Sy-philitic or Btcrrurisl Affection of Throat, SkuiurBvnes cartxl R.;fely, PrivHtuly. Sperraatorrhaa Sexual Iob;iity and Irapoteney as the result of Sclf-Abuo, 6c:n.il excesses In raatarer yenn?.or over forainwovk, protlainjnorvousaeas, semin al emission, debiiit, dimnuss of si;ht,(iolective mem ory, physical decay, arersioa t'j socioty confusion of Hens, loss of exnalpwer,nlt'ht 1oris, rendering mar. riae iaaproper.are pormauqatly cured, Consnltutioa at office or by mail ire and invited. Pnmphlet on stamp. Medicines SMnt by mail or eiprwa. Cures fruamatei. Where doubt exists it is frankly stated. MARRIAGE f PlfAtI3. I GUIDE! The whole ptory, we!" told, m it Is true to Ufa, oa the fnllowinu snbjote: Who m.iy marry, who not, why. Manhood, Womanhood, I'hruicrl decay. Who should marry; how life an 1 happlnts maybe increased ; eileots of celibacy and esiwu, and many more. Those married or contemplating raarriace should read It then keep un der lock and key. 23 CtS, by mail in money or po. tniie. English German French read and spoken. FREE PRESCRIPTION SSSWSSSS I 1 1 Weakness, Lost Manhood, Nervousness, BV,Oonfasion of Ideas, Aversion to Society Infective Memory and Diforder brought oa by Self. Abase. Any dretqrist has the ingredients. St. Louis fnrotlve Inst'e. fil? St.Charli-s. Bt. Iiiis. Mo. DrsJACQUES 70S Ohesnut 8t, St. Louis, Hp. at old office, oontinues to cure Spermatorrhoea. Seminal Weak ri ess, Impotency.a'l forms of Byphilis.Oonorrhcea, Gleet, Urinary or Bladder diseases. Recent casus cured in a few days. All the diseases reinltins from elf -abuse, excensee or exposure cured for life with safe medicine. Advice free. Charges low. Call or write in strict confidence. Bvaptom Book for two stamp MA RRIACECU1DE V NEW HAflDWABB STORE. rJ. S. DUKE Has just opened an i-nt ire new stock of )i; rl wiire, on ymm jm. wi x-J sas -v - blz 3--'-aa--Next door west of (l:;ii in:ui & Sniilli'H Inis Moie. A Full Line vt SHELF HAKDWAR E, SHOVELS, 11 AXES. SPADES ana ALL GARDEN TOOLS. NAILS, NAILS, NAILS, by feA'ij or rmtud- ROPE, POWDER, SHOT, GMND STONES, WHEEL-BARROWS. A Full Line of Cl'TIM'II V. Special Rates U 'hiilrfers and (.. ti actors. All uoodt? sold as lov s I hey imis-'SIiSv e;;i. li ' e;;i. 41. and live. W. D. JONES, Surc(for to Joiu'b & Ajjuew J Again takes charge of the Oil Brick Livery Stable. FLATTSMOI'Ti!, XK lilt ASK A. The old Bonner Sti'Mcs. in ri;it!H:ir.i t h. m, now leased by W. p. .Jones, and !; on hand New and handsome aceoiunn'a !iis. in the s!iaio of HORDES, CARRIAGES, BUGGIES, and SADDLE HORSES. I am now prepared to keep HOKSKS FOR SALE sTRADEI And will Train and Break Colts On Ileafoiiable Terms. ALSO REMEMBER, That with ulentv of room (that everv one known I have) in in v stable. 1 can net Farm ers' stock and waonx. loac s of hay, &c, under cover, here they will keep dry. Tliai.ki ic all the old patrons lor their liberali ty, 1 solicit their trade for the future, satisfied that I can accommodate them better and do better by them than ever before. 501y V. P JONES. HOTEL. CITY HOTEL FI.ATTSMOUTII, SEii. First class Lodging ttooms. First Class Boarding. Good Sample Room Every tiling and every comfoit A Good Hotel can Funsi-i Also, Good Wines, Good Beer, Good l.h;u s Good Lemonade, Good Cigars, Kept at the Citj otel. Hly FItEll. COOS, rromietor VICK'S ILLUSTRATED FLORAL GUIiH For 1881 is an Eleirant Hook of l-0 Taiips. Out Colore! Flower l'late. anil f Illustrations, will Descriptions ! the lies! Flowers and eeUi tiles, anil I 'ireelioin- fur growiiis'. Only lOeenlt Iu hnirli.sli r ( 'ei in;ii). If von afterwards or der neeils ilecliret t In Hi cents. Vli'k'S Sredx :up tlietie! in tliewoilil Tlie Floi!.vi. lifi rK w ill tell how to net aiu grow tlieiu. . lck r lower jmiiI erefalle tlarreii, 171 rapes. G Colored I'lates. sou Kiiurraviiiirs. Foi 50 cento in paper coveis : $l.n0 in elegant cloth. In Ceiiiiaii or Kutli-li. Viek's Illusi rated Monthly Maifazine .12 l'apes, a Coli red 1'late iu every iiiniiln r and niany tine EnyiavniKs. Trice 'l.rS a year; Five Copies for ".( n. Spreiineii her fent fi r ! eeutx : :s trial -pie tor -jr, eeni -. Address, 4.f .1 ,.m i-us.Vn K. liiK-ln st r r. N. LflMDniET M SEEDS S BEST If out sold in raor towra can get them by mad. Drop us a r-tstal Card for Cata- rme aM tVioi. The OUUu mmxd xai extentiv Seed Grown in tMe Cniied State. 1AVJX LJkZi D1LET11 &. SONS, TmxssJPi, W A M Tr LET 1 A Coln? Ubt btt,in,r ni-m in ecb f f Ml I iM k conttt im t. S. lo icU thm ToftW-cl twn, with gixM rrUrcsWCS - (uraiah liic HitJlt frr and pre itmi that will U-nr woj krr vver (:ou a moatk. .tUOicn l.M&K.oiJlTlOAAL fLC 10 Dux 2lLt at, Louis, Mas MS" 1881 nmam sun Is lHadr from a Simple TTropical Leaf of Uare Value, and is a loitive IJeiuedy tor all the lieaei that cause paim in the lower part of the body for Torpid !.iv:-r Headaches Jaun lice liziness. Gravel. Malaria, and all diili cultie of I he Kid nej s, i.iver and I'rinary Or gans. 1'or IV in a I-' )i-.ea-ii-s. Mom hi v' .Men struation, and during i're'.'iiaiiev, ir. ha no equal. It restore the ity;ui- that m-tke the blood, ami lii'ii e in the hc-t Gloe. l I'nrilier. It is the oidy known remedy that cure that scourire, f . ;;h I "m IjenMt. For Hiahete, use Wnriier's MaTo Ji:iets l ure. For ?a!e by Dru-ri-ists and De-aier at f.. per bottle, l.aijn-i bmih- in the market. Try it. II. II. VAiNi:i & ( O . Uochc.ster, N. Y. x Battle Creek, Michigan, v f IWTT A O'T'TT'R TrtJ f9 rcT0 nvrF -i?titivi THRESHERS. Traction and Plain Engines and Horse-Powers. Hast Complete Tlrwkcr Fact-y ? Established In the World. i 1848 VFARQ of continuous and succfulhvi. sk M I fcHriO , without chaii(re of Dame, fj manareiuent, or lucation, to "lack vp" tht broad tcarraitttj given on all our goods. STEAIrl POWTTR fSEPAltATORS and C'ompleje HtCIllll Olltlili.' mntchlan qa!i:irii. finatt Traction EiittineMi'nd I'lain Jbnfiincst ver seen in the Aiuericim uiarkeL A multitude of mprcial feature and improvement tor 181, together with etperior gvfttiiie trt etntctrue iion and material not drvamed of ly othpr makpiM. Four kitah of ieparatorw, from u to lii tior.o (?a Paoity , fur eam or horse ttfteer. Two styles of " Mounted ' Horse-Poirerp. 7kAn fif( Feet of relected J.HirbT iWUWiVWy (romfhreetoij-ycar.yci,.ti: Constantly on bamf, fnT i which i Imilt thd :.. comparable woixl-wurl; i,f ot:r ucUnurj-. Strongett.moet durable, and etiiHent rrer ,V wum. o, jiu kit Horse it ovver. t : 1 s,' "rnrmers nna Thresbermcn aro J--ri tnvftiat thin vta'rhu Thivstun luachr Circulars i. :u free- Adi!rcn NICHOLS, SHEPARD St CO. Battle C-p.cfc. Mrch'pan. ITT1 The majority of the ilia of the human body arise from a derangement of the "L,iver, affecting both the stomach'and hoieels. Ji order to effect a cure, it i meeeisary to rr more the cause. Irregu lar and Sluggish action of the Botcele, Headache, Sickness at the Stomach, Pain in the Sack and Loins, etc., indicate that the Liver is at fault, and that nature re quires assistance to enable this organ to throw off impurities, Prlclsly Ash nitters are especially compounded for this purpose. They are tnild in their action and effective as a. cure i are pleasant to the taste and taken easily by both children and adults. Ta ken according to directions, they are n laeoMrflcasnMlrurforDjspepsia, General Debility, Habitual Con stipation, Diseased - Kidneys, etc., etc. Asa Blood Purifier they are superior to any other medicine; cleansing the system thoroughly, and imparting neic life and energy to the In valid. 11 it a medicine and not an Intoxicating beverage. ASK TOUR 0RU0Q1ST FOB PRICKLY ASH BITTERS, and take no other. PRICE, (1.00 per Bottle. gEYER BROS. 1 CO., - SOLE PROPRIETORS, St. Louis and Kansas City. Mo. GET THE BEST ! LEAD ALL OTHERS ! Every Style & Price, Guaranteed Unequaled FOR OPERATION, Economy DURABILITY i;3 Jajrovements ani Convcil:- HaHMsWMMsWsKrr: POPULAR EVERYV;-:;-'. TT Sale in Every City nud 'I i . in tKo United States. and by J. R. COX, Plattsmoutii Xeb. 2tol6&24to3.0 JyoJE TREATMENT. v A certain enro for Nervous fmmmx Debility. Seminal Week- inii-.i-iiT ness. Impotence, etc. The Recipes used la my practice for 25 Year mnd nillaatratedbookofeopaees eiving full di MM NO CHANGING CARS -1'.i.tvi:f.x Oil ill V IIt PLATTSMOI Til AND CHICAGO, Where diieet conm-ei i, s iii ei;;aiic ".villi Through Sleeping Car Lines - r,) NKW Y):;K. 5U).STO.V. I'll II 1 1 1 vKI.l'l : IA, ',A l.l i MOi.'K. w.isiiiNt; lo.v. AND ALL EASTERN CITIES. r i .1 In St i '. J si t i.u I XVI AS A .:. i.i-Lisriu.K. 1 7.r.v- -Y.l TI, f.lf i tl'i l ,ilt!.- ill t.'iC iCTj TH,AST- 't HK ifS.T l.lF, Kirt ST. LOUIS, Wlieri 1: t f'MOX 1 i Lim s for a ei-i Ci.niieelioi;.s are made in I tie l.iO'l with Through Sleepil; Car ! pHiit-i.t5-'rU. ! i n i: M ,V LINE IOH I MOINES. mm; J AVonn i: i:oi:te foil i I i The unequaled ind ueeiiientx offi red y this 1 lini to I raveiers and Tourists are as follows : lhe eelehrated I'clliti.tii lti-Wheel I'alaee .sleepiiis; Cars, rim only on this line. ., H. & if. f'alaee Draw in'. liiioin Cats, V. I'll IIoi loii's Ki-ehi inti Chiiirs! No Kt:a Cl'arH fnrSeat-. in I'eeliniui; Ch:'im. '1 he fanii'ii.s C., li. I& Q. 1'alaee IJiniuj; Cats. 1 Ci.i.'ciik SiiioKiiiii Cars, titled Willi e'.e;-.nt iii-li-harked Katti'.l) I.'evol il.ti ha ii s, lot ti e exeiiisive te-e i t l:it-eia p.sseui-rs. Fa-t Ihne. Slei i Kali 'I rack .-it'.ii Siiterinr Kil'lipmeiM iv.ii!iiui;.l H 't I i'C'.r Urci'l Tknnmh i'ar Arrtun.iiiiKiit. inakr thi-, ahove all others, the favorite lioiile to tl:e r.AiT, fiOl 111 lt NOL'TII-KAMT. TKY IT. and oi! w .11 lind TUA VKI.IXG .i Lux ury instead i-f a I'iscouifnrt. ThiMiii;!) Ticket sale at all ollices Canada. viri this i-elehrated line for iu the Cniied Staten and .-lli il:fcl'!i:atiii ahtmt Kates of Fare, Sleep ing Car Aeeoisiiiioilutioii-. and Time Tallies-, w ill he eheeifuJiy given hy ai.,!yin to Janics EC. Wood, (enerul I'r.ssen-er g t, Chieajro. T. J. 1'OTTr.K. leneral Manager. Chfeao. Readjni3l Reclfaifsnsf tJocution! liIiiiiiiiiMii ii o s s s j i im m NOW READY. q M-1 OP.CfHEETI St CO Gt 703Chestr.i.iCJ.,r:iiiaile!pV.!a. , This nTtnr is nnifannvith thr i'T'ei. an cTit.iirs an- cilicr if s: xi tt M'UnJ.'l krclnmail(m c- I Jt'ut'Ii:g, cinl'iuii: Nonttiiiftit, Oratorv, lathir, Jiumor, Fun. JKOjjp- Price. SO ctS-niailcii free. .l l by liool.srllera. Kvcry boy i ho cjn'aKa picroi. every inetubcr vf s l.ycetin mrho irn-is fmtth!is TVt'W lo re fv. rhmit'l ;rc thd VholoSet. Club rate.. on,l tn!I l.lntcf Content Fnu, V a aloohaTsTbreeBooksof "Dialogues," 1 iieaciu Profitable Reading for Everybody . Business men and women, teachers, mechanics, farmers, ministers, mothers, and all who are tired ut by the constant toil and worry of your work ! dn'l drink intoxicating bitters, but ti.e L Are you suaeriin; Iruiu liyspeosia, Kheuma-; iisik, neuralgia, or wun r.owel. Kidney, Liver or, Urinary complaint, yon can be cured bv usinir 11 you are wasting away w un Consuniuuou. 1 male weakness or any sickness ; if you have a pain.' " '" or nan nm, von win nnrt sure relief in T.V H''J J-triL' VWi'iA.-m j urn If you are enfeebled bv disease, old aire or dis-! r-ipauon, ana your system need invigorating, ori ;i yuu nave pimpies ana titotcnes, ana your Hood needs purifyimr, you ran alwnv; denend on E Madeirom Ginger, Buchu. Mandrake. Stiliinois and many other of the best medicines known it is the Best Health and Strength Restorer Everf Used, and is far superior to liitters. Kssences ofl Umgerand other ionics, as it never intoxicates, 'and combines the best curative properties of nil. it lias area Jiumiri'ils ci J.ith; It Slay Save Vonm. Fuy a ";oc. bottle of vour dntecist, and to avoid counterfeits be sure our signature is on the out- ,ide wrapper. Hiscox & Co., Chemists, N. V. , p......-..--...... If im Parker's Hair Balsam, tettl1 The Best & Most Economical Hair Dresslag Containing only ingredients that are beneficial to the hair and scalp, the Balsam will be found far more satisfactory than any other preparation. It Utter Fails to Restore Gray or Faded Hair to the original youthful color and is warranted to of the hair. Said eirug-gitts mt 50 cents. remove aanorutt, prevent Dam ness and stop tailing t3i"ann(wed 1v at lHiwih-'r. thn RFSTtnrt PUCADCCT . , . ."""u 11 aoea not gum, out forms a nls-frily polished surface ever the axle, re ducing friction and lightening the draft, it is tiie cheapest (H-nre it costs no more than Inferior brands, and one box vill do the work of two of any other Axle Crease made. ltanrerspqualivaell for Harvesters, Mill UeariiMr, Thresh! nir MachineB. Oini-tlantcrs, CarrlaevB, Bnmrii, r.,etc.,a lor V aeons. It is CUARANTEEDto contain no Petroleum, tor Rale by all tirst-dans duaiem. Our 1'wket Cyclopedia of Thing Worth Knovina mailed free. MICA MANUFACTURING CO. 31 M'chlgan Avenue, Chicago, Illinois. m ASllWV AY Uh f Jt is the result of SfO Tfr experlenre and experiments in Rewirur Miu-hina it good point of all present and farmer mate, and is not a 1 " one man ,ror "ooe Idea " machine, aa others ane. It RvoliU the delect of ot hero, and pus- targe, tight-running, noielr, handtome, eon. . durable, and imr,1 L'. . n .1 uu wMt4( jiciMurea ana conveniences. venieni. kepi fidft t In repair free for ii yenrn. CHrculars with deecriptionRentfreeoarequeKt. ItiagurelyUia : A trial will prove it Don't fnil to nee It J?AVI.IJW.iiy! lorenee. Mass. ; WHOUbutu GLO. P. BJiI. 81 and 63 Jactnon bk Cluiiwfo. TU. PENSIONS ARE PAID tcry oldier difaMc la line f Huty . hj acrii'ciit or utherm i. A WOl'M "f k:nd.l,)'Si, flcT.to or ej r, lll'PTri'r', if Lut .htlit. dii eas ot Lunf4 'arl.c Veins pttr a lnsiiii., i uuer DuvUw thuusauUs arj riiijiica to an luereo if pi-nnuii. n itluwi. orphana anil dcpenJint fatlicrj cr niuthera of toldivr v. h !i -1 in iho ertnr ct a jipnuion. B(lT Vit ciiarite for wi-nn J. innirit: cr ri-jiti-r. r es full hrtnnty. St.'. O Aiiiu.e f re, jr l'rnsinn an-l IlcMitt. Act. ,:ilr--4 P. H, fltrserald 4 C-i ' Affeli.. Indnlial'i'i!!. li"1. M c r-t F.4.W.I'avi. i"iv-t liiian I. i.. and H. !' K fliinty. .- T-ai-k. btU vt ialiua;rc:ia, uiritf l.r, JOTFTL Kewg for Boy and Girls ! t Young and Old ! I A NEW IS, VENTION just patented for aaeia, for Home uae I Fret and Re roll Sawing, Tmrunfr, Boring, Drilling.Grindiug, PotiiUinit, Screw Cutting, Price t to (50. Send 6 cnts tor 100 pages. JSPTTRAIM BK0W2, loweil, Mtt. STARTLING DISCOVERY! LOST MANHOOD RESTORED. A viotim of youthful iinprudvace caiu-ing Prema ture Kecar, Nerroin It"wl:ty, Jdauh:i. etc., hating triej in Vain every Jsuowu reirn dy. Las dis Cvered rihiple elf euro, which ho will 11.1 FliES to his fellow-sufferers, eddresfi J. II. KtIiVli, 43 Cliatbaiu ht.t IS. V. 11 r 1 H v A V B V r9V ta f ka m-j' x 2 r. m I , ( BENNETT DEALERS IN 11 SUSiiSla A CENTS VOll THE ("ELEIJIt AT ED LEA VEN V()1 T FI 3e Iss Cash Paid for MuUer and Eggs Here We are with a Complete Stock BLANKETS, COMFORTS, SUA WES, SKIRTS, HOSE, ELANN EL S CASZIMERFS, JEANS. VALISES. DRhSS, GOODS. IIUUI RIBBONS, LACES, CARPETS, FLOOR OIL CLOTH JflTTIYGV WI NDO II' DES awl EI AT U RES, tf-c.4 d. BOOTS, SHOES -A.3STH) ARCTICS, 3? Hats, Caps, and Hoods, - UN D::invi: all colous .xdMzios "L' i.'iucKs to suit i:vj-:i;vi:oi)y. tyBi&tlsasad Wools. GLOVES if- MITTENS TO FIT Also the host Select Stock of strictly lirst-class iivo ceries, Canned and Dried Fruits, Tobaccos, Queens ware and Glassware in the City. All of which ve guarantee to sell as low as anybody. to flo,f Cash Jluji'i-s, and for large ijuantities. S .S. MAIN" STHEirr. 1 Old Grocery & Goods Stand. ine Although 'Lection is over we are not done selling goods, by a long shot. lb OU WILL FIND AT F.8. WHITE'S ONE OF THE LARGEST AND BEST STOCKS OF GOODS, OF ALL KINDS IN THE TOWN. Groceries, Hry goods, &ln& (Droelceryware, claeaper tlfisisn ever. -O- The nicest Green Winter Apples for sale. Over 'JOU liarrels down Cell.u. Ui Potatoes by the Car-load, PEACH BLOWS CASH PAID FOR HIDES FURS, TALLOW, dC, at Jj1. S. TVMTTJS'S, . ' PLATTSM0UTH, NEBRASKA TSIS SPACID Is reserved for SMITH., BLACK & CO. to give tzetieim: a call. Jt'r'H -fj fr fT r y ti A : 1 I A ; WHO IS UNACQUAINTED W!TH THE CEOCRAPHY OF THI9 COUNTRY. WILL ir" iVvrntuldi --v-V i ... Vv-- A fr AJmzz 1 tfT jm -v H Centre Vat o " '',.nj A''i,'i" I m ''m'"" 1 1 TrX l' L CHICAGO, ROCK ISLAflP & PACIFIC R. R. 5 TIIE GREAT COXXECTIXa LINK Br u rrv tut r t je thf WF Its main line rung tnrj t 'hieitco to oiitii U 1 il l..t lllh tA I A, "' IS I Bluffs. Dasjtnir tt:r,iuk:li Joliet. Ottawa. Iji srui- Gcnesco. Molme, llock Islaml. liaveinuir " Liberty. lowaCitT.Marenuik llr-HikiTO, ,',"t' Ve Moines (the capital ot luwm, , '2', !'. tic, and Aoca ; with lirttnciie Ir' . . tine. Washington. W.i.n.,l,l 1.' .' to Muhcii- toMuHCII- ; 1 run, uaTeuwurin, Ateniao' urth. .1. tiuilHtin. a:,,... and KaiiKas 1 ,ir, Hi' Ik ni ii : Tiliei KeokUK to Fariu'' ,:,:.T"-l"Kr?",L aeninirton to hiuournnv , (kal,n. ami Knox- 1 tr.n.nnrL I nrlo..nrt-- .V""- """"im, 15r-n- SPTS'J T-'- Monroe. an l Moines: Wintraet- A(?rJf : Mo"--' In1lui...laanrt Kn52?irW,hlCU ''d Oi.erai.-s a througk ul?,m.S?e,-0'llotht''e,' Kansas. S?? Express lasinar Trains, wan IU:- man Palaeetarsattaeliel.areruneii. i,.,i III. tZJln?A2 T- V '. Kasha n r. f iJ?A .L1;" Uavunwoktii an.t ATt III- tl'-i il-u'"h''r'r"aioriiii IkiwwiiU.huu. J Aocklsland Short I 11,.'. " The 'Ureal Kx.k l.iand" is ui-.i.'r!i3e.-ntlr quipped. Its road bo i simply p rteet, mid It Uack Is laid with steel rails. wnai win please you most, will bv liio il;iiurr en.ovini r.vir.r.. . -t"" . beaotiful prairies of ll'i'non uf Iowa? 111 one of ' i.2 over tn I a. in one of t oinpanr U ' .ls hotek . oiaijuHJwjir. uinm i an tout aci iorouiiu cxpreos t rrtiu. You jrel meal, as Bood an s seryu ta any Crst-c ADDrecmtir.if In el that a muf Til of tu.. pecjiia prefdr separate apurtuinin lor liifTiTeiii frurposea (find the immense pueiii;er li'inuem Ct tnia line warrantnid at . wo are pk-aio'd to an- At. OCnneotaat tuia Company runs hiiumii J'uUtce isLttpina Can for eleepint; purposes, una VuUj.cc PrLlM.I X PALACE fAKs sre r,.i, tlir-,, COrXClJL. BtlTf S. KA!iAS CITY. atVhi Tickets vl tbls t.lnr, k..v-n m Ur SUl Tlcfeet A itnt. Iu the Vnlte 5 ft:-rt ana M or i'aa'te at jC.r Oca'lSuiiermucQU EWIS-, J f2ae city, & EVERYBODY, both in SIZE d-J'RlOIi H. BAKER & CO. Wlhfitt west; Dnirn furs tT eutinii pnrposfs enly. One other rcnt fe.tierc f our 'uiace tan Is a t-.IKI.i .I.(K wlifrx tou can eDjoyj-our " tlaaua M u!l t:,.iir of tlie 1 lay. Al:u inrKenl ln.11 limiues span the MIli'PPl iei.1 .V,is..,nii rivi-isiit all points crossetl py m 11. 1 11 11, kf,.r.. ur,. :.v., 1.1.. d nl Council UluITs. v-isut all points crosseu ijy ia , 1 ,.,...,,.,,rih smi Atcnuou. coo- i,: .Tk !,'i: rn.-ule 1h Union Iicpots. im- 11.11. if 1: ONNKCTIOV8 Of Til IS :ili-:A';' '1'ilKoL'OIi LlMi AKU AS r 11.; .1 " . Ai 11 i-... with all direrk-lnu liaei for th r.at at 1 i-oiitii. . ..,-. At i:-. .1 inunr, with liioL-S. iM.8., and P., Tt. V. . 1:. IM. . t V.'.'.SHlM.tON HfclGUTi. with P., C. & St. y K 1 At I.A AI t.r.. witti Iii. Cent. It. R. . m mi 1 n..,i : ! t w w.i ' i it..x--. v i.u Milwaukee X -Heck Maud M.-rt I. n.-." .-.nd floca I, I'd A Peo. Kdi .t I'.w lmmui. vitli tUa Uavcmxjrt iiviaiuai . . , ..'..' "i : -ne u.. "... it. K. R. It, ,.t . . bi . N i l l.. . ,: i-iurnl Iowa K- K. ; ,,M",'V'' U. R- Al in v. it. nu irn wun I r, I-adHe R. K. .Ul i.i.i miii-h Jrxn iux.siUi l.,e. n. S, K R, A . r: : f j. a. wuu ienlrl I,,., u R . w ft. 1- A IM-:.. a . l C. 1; AO It ltd" ' iA,ti.s A Par., and .-t. 1, . K-o. ff -w. U. lUla? v. ; .. n 1 . wiiii n. ft, j K. K. t 1. -! i.x w.ii. AicK -i oP..ka A Santa To t. Ii. -;!. :in1 1 r... Itr. f. I'. U. ltd. ' i tin.xivumn. t-ei:t. It. liri. ,., it i wU wt'-Kau. Pac, tod Kan. -,A.,JA;s'U5 C,TY' r,tl1 liai tho West and fruutuweat. h to PEORIA. Tii-a wnivra. fir.-t l.ot-U Iii,.u Uon'le." sra sold b "'. and i.rt vrvii .iu-rii ui. Uami -et offlee. addr.s. Vrku 15 pi2sV Art..