THE HEK&LC, NEWS EEEVITIES. FACETLE. Teacher Ha fire any genderP Pupil YfS, feminine. Teacher What imkes you lliink no? Pupil Because I heanl mamm:. tell p:p:i not to hug the fire. Extr.vt from h loiter from Atielian: "Dear ll nirv, ycki as'c if I return your love. Yes, ilcnrv. I hare no uso for it, nnd rotnru it with inaiy thanks. By by, Henry." i;i:itl;iv School Teaahc r (n?p!ovinrrlv) "Boys do you know what day thiols?" Street Uy "Hi, fellers! here's a covo that don't know wiiat this is! I guesi he's bt-eu out nil night!" A Cincinnati man found a ronsjh lookim; individual in his cellar. "Who areycu?"' ho demanded. The asiuan, eonie to t:-.ke Lie meter," was the reply. "(Meat heaven!"' cried the householder, "I hoped yon were on!y a burglar." New York mi'.iionaire-ises about to start for Europe. Tiiey are studying not Mtirmv arid B.ied leker oh, dear. no! but liiirke and D.'brett, and taking , note 01 aii me uuiuari iea peer.t. vi.ua von Deepenbeek: "What a pity they don't imldish their ihoUirrapas as weu us their ages and titles. Mistress "As you ve never been m service I'm afraid I can't engage you without a 'character. ' outig I'ers i "I have three school b;ard certiti rntea. ma'am. " Miiitrcss "Oil. well. I simnose for honest v. cleanliness- Youii"' Person "No. ma'am; for liter- ntoir. iTir'i,hv. an' free 'ami dravv- , riii!" A country rirl at a fashionable hotel in New York noticed tliat all the guests used their forks only in eatinz tlieir pie. L'non her return home she reported tha fact to the old ladv. who comforted her bv observing-: "You .shouldn't niind'eni. Jem in a: its all because they're too tarnal lazy to use their knives. Tableau Vivant Bridegroom (to Ins little sister-in-law at tho breakfast) "Well, Julia (enfant terrible) "Yes; and nia said the other day to pa, she didn't think he was much account. onlv it looked like Lottie's last chance!'' fGre.it clatter of knives, forks, and spoons. ) "See here." said a fault-finding hus- band to his wife, "we must have things arranged in this house so that we shall know where everything is kept." "W ith all niv heart."' she sweetly ausweied. "and let us beiiiu with our late hours, my love; I should dearly like to know where things are kept." He lets things run on as usual. Enter Jon?s, the magnificent, with stranrrer "A little surprise for vou Mrs. J.! Let me introduce- Mr. Wig- Eins, whom I have persuaded t ttr.e is chance, and come and try pot luck with us; and I hope you won t starve him. liav. mv love.-' .Airs. Jones fcurtsevinor) "There's no fear of that. Mr. WVsrins. I cot mv hnsband's telegram in time." A fashionable Boston lady was unex pectedly left without a servant. She undertook to make her husband a cup of coffee, but it took so lonz lie asked what in the Halifax was the matter with the coffee. "I don't know," she said. burst inir into tears: I've boiled theso beans for a full hour, and they are no softer now then they were when I first j ut them in the pot.' A thin old man with a rag-bag in his hand was picking a number of small pieces of whalebone which lay on the '1-1 - . f l street. Hie ueposu was oi sueu ; singular nature that the quaint-looking o-atherer was asked how he supposed thev came there. "Don't know," he rep.ied in a squeaking voice, "but 'spec some- unfortunate female was wrecked hereabout somewhere." Youn" Hopeful, acre C. who is showing a visitor his book containing an alleged representation of" a "bird" and a "horse," as indicated in the words underneath the drawings; These are my worst drawings, Mr. bnnth. Mr. Smith: "Indeed, Tommy! and where are your other ones?" Young Hopeful: "Oh, I haven t drawed them yet. The cultivation of rice is attracting attention in Louisiana. Italian laborers for orange groves have arrived at Jacksonville, Fla. Austria has a pe'j-oleuni region one eighth the size of that of the United State. The Pid'.man c.-.r company earns on each car about .$180 mouth net, and has 474 c;irs. A very large amount f money is al leged to be duo to east Florida claim ants for losses of 1812. The dominion of Canada, in thirteen years, has accumulated a debt of $JU0, 000,000, principally for public works. On Pierce's hill, Dorchester, near Boston, standi a house built in 1840, and which is still occupied by descend ants of its builder. A corporation is about to establish a zoological garden above Central Park, Chicago, with an observatory three hun dred and twenty-live feet high. The body of an infant was found by the janitor of a school in Bristol, li. I., . a neatly done up in a package ana iaia on the shelf. In Waterville, Me., the prohibitory laws are so strictly enforced that the college professors are unable to procure alcohol for scientific experiments. The estimated rent of the new build ing on the corner of Broadway and wTilI street. New York, will net'to its owners the princely sum of $180,000 a year. The total value of England's im ports for ISfiO was jt'JOH.Wo.OOO, an in crease of ab ut . 4o.Mi0.i.M H) oyer 1879. Lh iug animal- we.-e imported to the val ue of l,21o.t'Oi'. Tl e number of eggs imported was 747.412,410, worth JL'-,- 2ii,r.i;0. Cap?. MAY. B.'.rnes :u:d wife, of Wat eitowu. Conn., rei-ently celebrated the seventieth imj)iveiary of their mar riage. The captain is 'JJ years old and his wife 87, and both are now in gopij health. Bradlaugli is a stalwart who believes in muscle. When the authorities of Scotland yanl tendered him detective protection" against assassination recent ly, Je thr.niuv! ti e:u em said he thought he cii'.d take cue of i.lr.i'.'lf and it vi.u:d b' be.t to protect the as sasii;s. The i'e:iiand for (I-orgo Eliot's b.-oks lmi l'tn so grs-.-it sire- her deat'.i l'..ut the London pijbiiiiii rs have not been able to meet it. U;.o t ;i!!-and readers inquired for "Ad:m Bcde"' in Jti' at a leading ciivu.ating iibrary, A ci.e::j) Mid an xpe; .-iv- complete edi tion of her works will be issi.ed in the spring. Large depots aru to be U'.t up on Harlem liver, to accommodate Jbe rail roads to New England, which will com nect there witn the railroads to New England. Twenty-six acres of marsh for the purpose has been bought for lo6(S00, and eight and a half acres near by sold fur CTC.OOO to anoti.e? company. The largest deed ever put on the records of Naugatuek. Conn., oon.-is'cd of eighteen lages of closely-printed matter. It was a mortgage to the Mutual Union, of-New York city, lor $350,000 from the New Union, Telegraph company was 13. A man who had lived in a Boston boardinghouse for ten years, and hud been known only :;s "(icorge," was found dead in his room recently. Among his t-ljects were found papers which indicated that j:ai!iu was Lben Lcmau, and money, bonds, and buQlf; notes to the value of .15,000. Four 3-ears ago a schoolboy in Monroe county, Indiana, threw a dead rattlesnake around the neck of a little girl, and it has made her permanent !v insane. During an this time sue i.. recognized no one, but daily sits with her siate in her lap. making out the same figures she had bat-u given as a lesson at school on the fateful day. occasionally crying out: "Auko tho snake away. The charge of the tow n clik "Old Lion."-Th3 Mia Who Lad Tare J Hundred Keutuvkians At llon'-arjj. . There were a crowd of men seated on the steps of the custom-house yesterday, talking about the wars of the country, and about the tim they n eiitioned tha battles of Bi'.ena Vis-.a and Monte'-.'v, an old veteran "who lit in '4G.' a::d who had a p'iun-c!i :d nose aula look about him which i 'n;y oVd tl-.at he couhl ouilie a dg ti; ng-rod man. got up, ami, bruhi :g I e i'u t from t lie seat of his p:mls. .-:ii i: "Well, it kmder am ines nc. t: e;i agin it makes me fee! sad. n fn-n I read the history of the Mexican war, and see the ail-tired Jm t en history fel lows tell. T.:ey .-p ak of tin old army officers jest as animate li.xc as i. they'd slept together and scratched eacli other's backs. I'll ju t be ess . ntially gol dinned if I'd have my name stuck iii an old history, 'cause my comr.iJs w ho tit with me knew wiiat 1 did, tmt it raises my dander when the-e i;ere his tory ci;aps git to talking about what was done wiien they vvern't thar, and 3-ou couhln't have pulled 'em thar with a yoke of Ark;tn -as steers nether.' Why, ' at Monterey history spoils about Monterey. What was Monterey? Merely a little skirmish which didn't amount to a bar-room row, I recollect Monterey. I was thar, aud commanded the Kentucky volunteers, 3oO of the bravest boys from the B'aiegrass dis trict, and ihey used to call mo 'Old Lion.' Why? Not because I was braver than any one else, but because they loved me. Dang it. they used to try and keep me from the front, but I couhln't leave 'em when I knew they were liable to be cleaned out. My place was thar, and tliar I stayed. At Monterey (leu. Taylor ordered us in. Well, sir, you jtiit ough'er see them boys how they iit into t e greasers and took two forts and 8.0O0 prisoners 'fore yon could wink your eye. But only dl what was their duty. What's the use of loaling around bragging about what you did and Irving to sneak your name into history? Dang a man. I say, w ho ivjlj do it. It's tiuei got shot four times whitti leadii; Jin: rigid wing over the parapet, but you ilou'tWeiiiu bang, ing around asking for pension. Not much." The crowd gazed at him silently, and. after reaching down for a fresh vbaw of tobacco, he continued: "I recollect at Bnno. Vista I sat on my horse, with niv left le:r icstin n th pummel, as a pistol-wo.ind in it had'nt healed, and flcn. Taylor was standing by my side talking a if no fight were going on. Confound it. hiscooluess Jjijdcr tire ii counted an ice bid. A buih.t cuint '.vhjstljng a'ong and struck lliS horse ill the l. '.i;l d..-i.f psifV-r animal to rear and plunge forwaViwili a sharp snort of pain. Za k. I always called him Z:u k. t;:: .- J to me I'll never forgot his wor 's and said: J Mai or, tho-e d n g"eas rs are shoot ing prtttty lilosf, and v. had belter get down.' At the tim..- 1 h :ij hifsily engag ed surveying the fight through my field glass, and Zack.. seeing that I "didn't Hi ve. said: "Maj.r. you're the most olstin:tiu and reckless old war-horre I ever met,' but I i y-r Ijad Jinie to hear the rest, jis I ordered ! i . voluuteciii q waltz into th tigld. Wi ei the victory had been gained I rode up to old Zack., and he h id one of tito.se pleased smile on his f.r.v darned if I ever saw a in an wiio cjuld throw in iv .soul int ids sanies and all he s i 1 was: Major. I ru ss vou ha t b 'tl.-r w :: ; ; -,' .an J J( l:eht o'nl to 4V,';;il t.n: vi-ry ' fi .. v .: at Monterey. P.sii.t-.vt w:, .'- i . :i iiisiory icaows k:io v; ant f . .. veteran limped down t.';o s:ree: v. proud air of disgust, .-.n.I le t tl.e r. . to wonder if they could lie t...it . Vriim tuev got oid and had t matisiu iu the jr ''fick, JV't- tc Battle Creek, Michigan, MAiccr iciram o tbx owlt omrnrx PSI6KLY THRESHERS. Traction and Plain Engines and Horse-Powers. Xat Complete Th rcaher Factory J Established la tke orlO. i 1848 of eontinuova ant tueeessful butt, test, wuliout tlianiro 01 cauie. 00 YEARS mauatfement, or 1. n ation, to " back ' rNa wurraniy grtn on an our gaoat. Iht Is made from a Simple Trnpical Lf:if v,i I.'are Value, uinl is a ioitive ltemtdy lor ali tlif U-ea-t. that cause pains In t he Io.vt-r part t the bily for 'torpid i,i v-r Headai-lio dann itii'e lfiiifss. (iravt'l. Malaria, aud all di;li cnltii:." ' tlie Kidneys. I.ivt-r and fiinaiy Or jraiirf. For Kciiialc Di.cascN, Mai lilv'Mim struaticii, and during r'l'esnaiicy, it has nn eiual. It it'stnivw the organs that make the blood, and htnire is the lc-t Jiloixl I'nrifier. It is the only k mmn r.nnt'dy that cure tliftt scoin-j.'!'. BritH'w listre. r.r I)ial)0te. use Wnrni-r'i af linletM ( nn-. For Sale by Drucsists ami Jfalcrx at HI .li per bottle. l.aiBet buttle in the market. Try it. II. II. WAliNKK & CO.. ltochfster. N. Y. 3 'in a STEAM-POWER C'oinplcje Mfnin Outfitito Bn'rWcMouoliim, 'Traction KnjiiieMa:ti 1'iainr.u SEPAItATOKS and uniut-a BITf mm BENNETT & EWIS, ikaul Tritrtioii Knviiii-H er BPfO in the Amtint-jin market. Jk multitude of material fttUuret ansf improvements for lSSl,t(Vther with tuperior qualities in ctmttruc. tion ana wuxtmrialt not dnamed of iw other roakrra. Four slzea of kH-iiaratorx, from O to 12 horae O&nacity, for tteetm or horte poorer. Two ntvlrs of ' M'liintrJ Ilnrf p-Powprs I-ert or SPlnied l.omnpr froia w hich i built the it. work of our luachiiiery. 7 ftnn nnn ronsUtitly on hand. iomp&raulo wood- I C5 Strcmyttt.mntt durable . ami evident ever lUi la llorse rower. CI 7 St. Charles fitrrf t. St. Lends, Mo. A rpirular a-a 1 of t 5Io lical OoUm, hati liea l4njtr It-CHtev! txta any or hei Phybiciiin la tit.ljOuis.Ra cily pn; t rs siwr.iu:J nil oM r:dt.ijtkno. 8Tihil:a, 0".corrhrrta,Q::t. titxicfuro. Orchitis. Rupture.all Crjia:y Srji-tio i r UvrouriAl AtTootioiu of T.i'Oi'it, S'.tjior iiieBocrl hi-isly. PilvHtsly. Sae:miD.-!nifli'.;v:sl Ii:":lity and Impotney a to nr'M'.x i'f H:'if Aiu'i, s."T. d m'iHi in maturnr )t R'.of cv; hrafi.vf:k. r.j-l -v.r7onnea.fiemui-a! ii2i:s: n, d .-:i:it.'. diann oi fc:.j-ttdefoctiva mem orr, j.hyii"al U'cayf nvorsini t feooiety rnnfusion of i (..;. lcwof seu u powor.niaht las-fl.rendm-lng mar r.. imvrnporre fi?rsiarTl rv4. Vin.iuluit.lwif at c:f c or l n-i!l f and l'i--.-)i. PaTriihlut a f,!ki!.;. Mod 'r! -ma w-.it Isy ir.-ll or fTiirvs. (htrua . i-r ?r:J. Vh--' fi-.tbt i-xty k Li uiinklr Rtnted. F 1 .! E t AT & 2. : : m w:4.it)t.tof, we.; I rv t Is truo to kilo, oa til ;o: rU .. . m ir: rt wh- not, why. a: trrr; vw lit' I !ia:iri-4 ii..yhc iacruiwl ; efTwcts cf re!iiu. Mlei iu"J nvioj mor. Tboo ranrriod c, c4ou,m :- '" t ui'rUwvB:if"U I m.J it then fcop un dor J; s" &rfi Ue. 25 CtJ?- 'nnil in raotmr or 09- cum of Sinniaal iv.y...i.. 0f l ifter, ATureioa to Hoolptr !!- ti,9Ait"iaonr and I'laordf n liroiiifht on hf Self- Auon AnyarosfitnntnnOTaieot3. sllouu On -Hliil Iai-t,61H Wt.Chrle. Ht. Iinl. Mo. 70S Cbeanut fit, St. Louie, Mo. at old oBcs, oontiDiiu to our Spermatorrhoea, Suiulnai We&k nesw, Impotnc7.all forma of yxihUia,Qoiiorrnoea, Oloet, Urinary or Bladder disoftrft-a. lUx-Dt omma cared la a fef di. A 11 tha disaomo rtMnlttiu; from ulfibaMy ernKMor6xvu4ure rnrml for lifawlUi safa xnadJoioa. Advice tre-e. Oaarigut low. CaII or writ Id sOutconfjdauoo. Bvmptorr Bodcfirtwoitiuiip ftlARRiACgCU.DEroS?; TRACTION ENGINES n,iee rte id FBEi FarrtiM ttnt Threhermtii am Jnvitivl to Cvpitu.-ate tui Muichlees Thruiiiu!r SlathiiitJT Virculara f r.t t n. Addrpa . NICHOLS, SHEPARD A CO. j t Battle Creek. Mlchlean. iL is U a a Ellin ks v Thr majority nfthtf ill of the human t.ntl; nr!i- Viiii a lirrattgemen t of th I.ivcr. Hff' Cllttg loth the ttomaeh and hiitrls. in ui-eiVr In rfftct n cure, it it .--...') t rr ut orr the- cauttr. IrrfgUt it" iii.il S'ltwiish m-tioit. oftl;e DouJila, Ilr,fl.tc:n-,Sir';!rii tit thr ntriarh,I'ain in thr ,'."' unit l.i,itiD,rtr., Indicate? that thr lArrr in ut fmtlt, a ml that nature re- ( ( oHsiHtu arc to enable this organ to thrmr off impuritirx. Irlc:ti- Asli lHterHare espreialltf CD nt. tut mini fur th in pttrjiaze. Whey ai-tt utiM in (lt-ir action untl effrrtire as a em i art' j'Tra stint to the tit strand tnhen. fanHif hy hutft eltildrrn antlatlitttf). Ta ken .! i '; fo it i r ct ion, thr y are m nfoainli: it.i.tnt t nrrfor Dyspepsia, fientral IJc Jiliily, Halittual Con Htipaiion, Ui5onsi'cl Illtlneyti, etc., etc. Aa xiUtaii zuvlfier they are superior to nuif .titer iiictlicine; cleansing the .- titi rvnyhly, and i in pit rli nrtr life ttnrl rnertjy to te -rnli'l. It . tl Illijciiclste fijti tHil an l!ltX Jcatilli: iei-verayr. Ail YOUR CRl'OCIST FC8 PRICKLY ASH BITTERS, and take no ovher. PRICE. SI OO per Bottle. IEYER BROS. CO.. - SCLE PROPRIETORS, Ct- Louis and Kanaaa City, Mtx DEALKUS IX Staple siGsd IFaiao' Cigars & Tobacco. agkxts roi! Tin: ci:li:i5I.vti:d leavexwoutm ft ftoice&tt iocls of froccr- ac Isa tSae city. Paid for Butter and Eg-gs, Here We are with a Complete Stock BLANKETS. rOMFOKTH. SHAWLS OA SSI ME 11 FX. JEA AW. 1 -i i i i a fc I h ; V f. c BEST THRESHER ON WHEELS Ta nnl a VUimtm ,,av ew Ik M.nlilMA if wonueriuuy eiuiiMa ana aamiraoiy i tnro&ruuy and H.-araUiitr quolitira. the eraJn. and clrana ft rrnd f ttmm eamty. is constructed durably, in Snial:d 5anniM and adrolritbly pfrieci lii Roparatiiur quolitira. Sarrn an for market. beautifully, la the most economical, loait irn- f S,-4thm iatiO r-- i Sktottiiw t-r tie- no i i k tram lr-. Aj:!: 10 t.;r pi n, . f---ii t-. -. ' of lil4 rra-''-f at a,:MaJ aT tb tjo J (M n-fC r'ilfl . i - , -at leurfar mmh UT'ti-y pirMiu v J.f.-. t- t-. V . ;--.'!-. fjvi lU (Ml U t 7 (rtvncUM, in 1 jr - . r4 -r.O-t.T - - W .vve)J rr-ja!-. 1 1-: vtri :...: a (K ..a--A - ..--..'' I. ! , - jift! CKIll fli'V " - of (Turbid? a. 4 cui:n dVw .- - t- t. Ir. '.-SL.t.--'' and satisfactory machine in ib iff cx and til u wnet, ana nxjiurea no cnaniro exocpt tho meves. SarKet wiu UHuate wh btuiq a well od cry. las no uaual in Uirowinnff fiax and timothy, tbrefhi vand oleanlng- both as wall and nearly an raiudiy r r. a v V 11 i r (Jt'Cilll SCTENTIFIO. Croizette. Croizctte, the celebrated actress of the Co.'ncilie Francais and rival of Bern- haedt's, has been havino- affairs prettv inufli as she wills since the departure ol the latter. She has a salary from tho jrovernmeut of 25,mxj francs per an num. It keeps her in fr'.oves, bottines, and bonbons. She ha three very beau tiful children, and, though she is mad emoiselle, thev accompany her everv- wliere, and are well cared for by their respective fathers. One or them, a bo-, is the acknowleged child of the Duke d'Aumale, son of Louis Phillipne, and is the exact image of his grandfather. In Croizette' s more beautiful days sho sat as a model for the hgure of "lruth, now on exhibition in the Luxumburg, and which represents a perfectly nude woman with a lamp in her hand. It is said that when this picture was com pleted, the actress went to see it with a number of friends, among them a rich but very stupid young marquis, who. after examing the paintings, inquired: "Mademoiselle, why do you carry a lamp?" To which Croizette naively, mid to the horror of the artist, respond ed: "Mon Dieu. monsieur, je cherehe nies habits." (I am looking for my cl.'thes.) Croizt-Ue is no longer beauti ful. She looks like an exceedingly fat Modjeska, if one can imagine such an anomaly, and scarcely opens her large, dark eyes in talking. She is very pop ular, and gives elegant receptions week ly at her residence. ' m tm A 'Western Derivation for Ellzzard. Thederivation of the word "blizzard'.' is not generally known. We will eluci date: When one of those superior crear tures who inhabit Boston enters his testhetio home on a cold night he re moves his cultured muffler from his re lined throat, and remarks, "The atmos pheric exuberance is antagonistic to the preservation of caloric in the physiolog ical structure," which, translated, rneans, "It blows hard." When a de generated Chicago man returns home at 3. a. m., from a chicken tight, after having observed the fall of the mercury and several other things in liquid form, he explains the state of the atmosphero to the angry partner of his joys as fol lows: "M'dearsh. bl'sh'ard bl'zzard," after which he encounters a blizzard from his indignant spouse. Insomnia, A little English work, "Sleep, and How to Obtain It," saj's that insomnia is not so dangerous as is commonly sup posed, for tho author knows an eminent man of letters who has suffered front it for many years without injury. When a man begins to dream of his work ho may know that he is under too great a mental strain. The author's plan of inducing sleep is to reckon up friends and acquaintances whose names begin with, a certain letter. A tenant has been dancing all night over the head of his landlord. At six in the morning the latter comes up-stairs and complains bitterly of the annoy ance?" "What anuovance?" aks tho tenant. "Whv, I haven't slept a wink all night," wai the answer. "Neither haveI." says the tenant; "and yet I doji't make any fuus about it." A clergy man's daughter at Napa, Cal., went to a circus. On the follow- in"- Sundav her father preached on sin-. lul amusements, and usel her ease as fin illustration. In the Sundiy school that afternoon ho f:iid th:st she was impenitent, and mo". ed her -ptilsion; but a vote IxMng taken all the pupil voted to retain her. Mr. Edison lias nearly (ini-! cd a dy- namo-electrie niai-mrie having i.nreo field magnets siv and a half feet long, and an armature- one and a half tons in weiirht. The armature is connected directly to a Torter-Allen engine of 100- horse power. Both the engine and the dynamo-electric machine are mounted uton a larre iron bed. This new elec tric generator is intended to do what is usually done by sixteen smaller ma chines with greater steadfastness and econoniv. It is remarkable that tho working- classes of ( rmany have takeu little part in the anti-Jewish agitation, At a stormy meeting in Bcriiu recently, in which the Jews were denounced as peo ple 'until to mix with other races, a workman had the courage to state that "after seventeen years' hard work in Berlin, although a Christian himelf.his experience was that Jewish employers had, as a rule, treated him tar better than his co-religionists." He accord ingly proposed a resolution in favor of "renjrious libertv. Hie result was that the meeting hissed him and turned him out. Henrv Brand and wife, living at No. 82 Raymond street, Brooklyn, N. Y. fled from the house in which their child had died of diphtheria, and the health authorities took the body away and buried it, and could not find the child's parents. Subsequently it was ascer tained that Brand had a chi.d who died a few davs before of diphtheria. Then the second child contracted the disease and died, and Mr. Brand was also taken ill. Brand was too poor to bury the child, and he thought it best to get his wife out of the house. Mr. Spurgeon wrote rccentlv that the most useiul members of a church were usually those who would "be do ing harm if they were not doing good. They could not be the chips in the por ridge they must flavor it one way or the other." "In my young das," he continued. "I feared I said man)- odd things antl made many blunders, but thy audiences wore not h pocritical, and no newspaper writers dogged my heels; and so I had a happv tr-ininir-ground. in which, by constant practice, 1 attain ed such a degree of ready speech as I now possess. There is no way of learn ing to preach which can be compared to preaching itself. If you want to EWim you must get into the water. As the steamship Labrador was on her way from Havre to .New lork, an im migrant passenger named Jacob Ncick Oerthy committed suicide by jumping overboard in mid-ocean. The sailors made every possible effort to rescue the man, but the weather at the time Mas so rough that they were unsuccessful. Oerthy leii in his truhk two letters, one of which was addressed to his sister, and the other lo a girl who was his af fiance!. These notes were couched in rambling incoherent language, indica ting tu.-it the writer was of unsound mind. He wanted, to die because he hail been dissuaded from going to Afri ca, as he had intended, and induced to embark ou a vessel bound for New York. Copper has been detected in tho soil of a church yard, and in portions of ex humed bodies. A new scientific instrument is tho viotiietpr," which registers the p.. nity of rain falling wjthin a certain period, and the duration and hour cf the fall. According to a London journal, the orange specks of the gaslights along ti e Thames embankment were seen to shine dimlv throuirh a recent to: whilo the bri li.mt white glare of tho eleetrjp lamps waf indistinguishable. Mr. W. N. Lockingtou stales that of three hundred and eight species of tishes, mostly murine, occurring on the Pacific coast, all but thirtj'-seven ar found ir. t'aiifornia. Of the five hun dred and forty fresh-water spoi-ie known in the Uni e l States, but thirty seven are found in California. The authorities of the postofllce la Glasgow, Si-otiand, are about to make arrangements for the permanent light ing of the main departments of tho building with the Compton electric system. Satisfactory experiments had been made with that system for some time in the sorting room and iu the tel egraph instrument otliee. If alo9 a.u Lcljeycd to be present in cordials, elixirs, Hquorn, i- beer, Hugo Borntrager gives this rapid method o testing the question: A portion of the liquid is well shaken with twice its Volume of benzine, anil the behavior of the mixture with ammonia is observed. If no red coloration is apparent, aloes can only be pr -sent in very iusignilieant quantity or not there at alL With the view of approximately as certaining how long after death phos phorus can be detected in cases of poi soning, Dr. L. Medicus killed a hon with that substance. Twentj'-three days afterward the fowl was dissected. The digestive organs were observed to be quite luminous, and the presence of phosphorus was easily detected. Opium is harvested in this manner in the Province of Kweichow, China: As soon as tiie petals fall an incision is made iu the poppy head with a small Uiree-nladed knite again and again, lintil all the milky juice escapes aud is ecured in a bamboo tube. When the i'uicu is dried in the sun and turns ilack it is considered lit for market. According to the experiments of M, Grehant, air containing l-.' of its volume of carb m dioxide proved fatal to a dog which inhaled it for fifty niin ntcs. With another dog of the same size the fatal dose was l-2oO. A rabbit resisted various proportions of mixtures of air and carbou dioxide until tha lat ter rose to 1-60 of the volume of air; while a sparrow died with 1-500 A new method of producing light from electricity has been patented in England. Small balis of platinum or irridium are arranged at the ends of small platinum rods enclosed in pairs in the center of a suitable globe, and a rapid succession of sparks is passed bo tween them, whereby they are raised to incandescent heat. A disadvantage ;s the noise attendant ou tho rapid sparks. An easy method for showing whether butter is adulterated with beef fat has been submitted by Hager. He satu rates a cotton wick with a suspected sample, which is tirst incite-1. He then lights the wick and permits it to burn for about two minutes. At the end of that time, when the wick is extinguish ed, an odor like that given by a tallow candle when its flame Ls blown out is readily perceived if the butter is artificial. a a- 1 tn4 V" f T -ft- Ta U ft' fj -t ' tfca n.f'tii t au iKf 0wi t- f ra ti J - . ' 3 - r--r an, t .-.r-r:'3 rMEDY CO. ! t .iri'ei'rit r v.',o..;.- t t ,-eif. rjarr r.triltn- J"J ej..i..y i.ri.i mi-v j-. OI"-. A 'e?U, t':.-T?r' vi-... -., T:--t."iV "rrrrr-r U-c I' J -r KBi -. l I i f ' 1 li"-: - - r . - ' - ' t :tr : I fit ! - m . . t-.v j . . . i - - i ;-f a- ---. . . . - 5.' ' . V ,1 I-'-!-. -,:inl.i:.v !'''. rT-', f .5. -wT- ' srr r ; .i e . - : t i f r I p1'.-!. t - ' fc -1. ft 1 f if 1. ' e 'I '. : ! : pliVli-'er ' - r: Mioa mors squarmfeet of teparalinf eztxd cleaning sur face than anv other machine mails, and ean not bm I oTerlnvleA. 1 both ov!r- and nnd r-li!at Our 1X.OVKU Iin.I.IXl ATTAt .'H.tlKNT ia ! new and very detiral. Dix the work mora Sridly and better than au exclusively UoUinir St;PA RATORS of the vcrio-.is flics A ted for $'e?m or H'lrse tmcer aa fN'Firpd. - 4Zi fmprovrd 11 tt Fowtr, an Improved tVoodhiiry Power, and tho i:ivnrd KiunJ lzinar l'BWfri all mounted on lour Mlirn- v aro Znanuiactarvd by uk, and arm not surjafd by any it (he mnrk'f. ' We are a!o rTarfd to furniFh firNt-c!aji Portuble Koitlneii itli onr beixtnuora. For Prlco-Urt d Circnlarn, address SEVMC IRjSAptNACO. MinufacUrra, ' Stillwater, Minn, a STARTLING DISCOVERY! LOST MANHOOD RESTORED. A viotim cf youthful imprudence causing Pre ma- fare lecay, r-L-rvcms iiuiity, Lost MauhtMd, etc.. HaviriL triKl in vain every mown covm-ij a sinifle flt !f euro, which ho Ki liir. rwiow-nunt'irH, ari'iress 43 C'liathaiu ,t., Y. A Vem.-- 1. 1 i-i.!.r.,S, Ti&'it inn "-"..n : '.(' U.i. .(...-. i . .1-, om-ii, fi.r an J : ru 'u.r : t, a i .C." r." iin U-r.-av.r . A :fi; W iiC-t "U I. A' t V. ; r , rc'tifrMion. it cjufc, le:i!,:rv c4 hlAli.un.: y v.ti. rt-d, U'.ari lU.. (S.'li t I"e Mn1 :K In jv-I i.ru; tiWr. Su.cee f iifw.lt,.l' .:. I. t.r.Un i. t ikrr and I jr,', 141 r ffti v( n. uit i uc.i, ;.:.. met-.-t :z f i ul-j to V '". 'i.a ,et ! '.rrtt; ei.t A -i-. f- r -t ta!- t-, i -i iir rravli'.j. uf j. 2 p.u. wilt fu;l t-Uit i u?rrir.f, hj n.aj;, ru crtU "THE PRIVATE MEDICAL ADVISER" oi bypnilia, Uoiicirhaa, ;i.ct. Strict:. re. unao. cele. e.. a .j .-a tipt ricticrrloui, Bfxu.d ptb lity. "4 In.Dotencv. ti.m .kt,i-Ai.u ,i. i .... ...... . .tss.i it f.M.. l,m tf, I i.f i-;t:: !r't,.Tc. a-.'. T-.. .u.Tr-wti'run'iii't. n . t t.i n .- r .11..' . ... ...... tyti tut li.- e-H, .-f pr.t-:. 1 .m.. it, ;. , bvrr U' r-.t'f. i" etit, i'siix.! AiriM,' Lsct'ireca l.';si::H 7T:ah:;i 10i FC RG ME Dt,l..if?t ' 'i : pa4faitJruii I"" drjrntt-J lovki. 1. tM, ...i ,u G..f c t ..1-1 . 530 picrt. ai.J c.cr tea illu.tr.lioi . T' t-n.tinJkn'iiif 1, (...MUvrly- tiir mnl li 'j.ar SM,tu B -ut .::iajp pj. author 1, an r,,., MC-d tl..knau i f D.at t yr yir'iee. tm is wrll k --vr. n t tit. tit. r-T,a. a. t rule ft.- ttr.-a-.m 4.a. will h f.-u-.a j fiMt tu.. :, ti.uv .u.T. rii., fi.ai -j-lrtt, , f tt,.( r I.Mt .lilr.TT', ,Mtei.lL-x'' ': t.ta.t Ir.'ttaJ vf " PlllV ATt ' -Ti.P-r't" HfOf.-lti.ir nt;. ula In F . u.ci t btra. pJRf, BUTTS f'ISPEfVSARY s-ti-h.i rttitriiit iv.t auft oon.j lunsrj 5., .t.-t cifritri rr.ultio, from taiptr a., -c t.i" .ot.a. elt aLu." or .rttuaF cac,a. r.tiVti!, trr-ttf! hT mail a::i ftpreti. W t-tre f.o..tt-lr. x tr oiia! e -nsullatiftn i prrfrn I. , r.tclt it (1 se aod it. v it.ii. c, a. Int: to tv smmcrei br ptiri t" rtr.ir n If-ataarRf tl .l-i Ii.aj 1c say a l-Wa on a:t licat:-'. for b".,lti nr tr,iltncit a-i.K.,a Bit. ItrTT. it NortU Kth St. Luulm iSh'fiTS, IO SIC, FLAXNKL.S. VASSlJlhhlS, JLANIS. VALISES, DiFss, U()()lx. IWClt 1 X, miUiOys. LACKS. CAIiPETS, FLOOR OIL CLOTH M ITTINGS WINDOW SHADES anl FIXTURES,,- UTIAOS BOOTS, SHOES .InTID ARCTICS, !c5:Hats, Caps, and Hoods, UXDKKW EMi. ALL COLONS . J ) "siKS T puk;ks to sirrr hvekvhodv. Card Iioarl & Mttocs5 (J LOVES ,f- MITTENS TO FIT EVERYhODY, Uth in SIZE A- I' RICH Also the best Select Stock of strictly .first-class (.ro ceries. Canned and Dried Fruits. Tobacco, Queens ware and Glassware in the City. All of which we larautee to sell as low as anybody. to close Cash Uuyers, anil I'or lure iuaiititifs. W. H. BAKER & CO. S S. MAIN STIiEET. I gjrrhiTfjt R fafl. -i H r-cct. J i i i i it r A ACTHUA CCBS 2 H V'5 li r ,:v nl. t lata-atly ra J J jSgij S2lu Y? ff-t 1 l--:.ti.ttica ,i. vb. inns ri-K i.iu tiw ! wosv 0'?;ca ' yg :'i T'--v.:tit -a frtJW xj-ee tttoa and .V " 4 -e mS rt w.ir; i.t vtiif-r r ordiee ? a. .1 j w a t:t I jorvtn.-itt'.ATM.i. , v f . 3 i, Ji-ect n-.'l neTcr failiM . Ci.' - . . ' l I T F:np. -1 t 't! ttut. i'.i. ..rCil. i'ilAI.N. itJ'auI. Jliua. I will xnnli c"-risy "ftL0:J-'.:. CO FI!:7!-:. l-i .1- -.- .- ff . T. j . - - .-! r....t 5?:sEt?P, If ! MP o i&to I sPSU . - -. ine Old G Dry rocerv tk Goods Stand. Although 'Lection is over ue are not done selling goods, by ft long shot. lh ou WILL FIND AT F.S. WHITE'S ONE OF THE AND Lost Machot'd. etc., , ' '" v.;th COorPTIOV. m remedy. ba d:$- ' f. Vs '.fi v : H'A. 1HK0.4T, lie will acntl FREE i , '. V " " "t 1 '- " '!;fritaliou in th s liooW ia J. II, UEEVES, 1 I'-,-."--: v'v:,.:-.Ti:-'.t''::l',n iUtOiA, utc a jc: ill 'ai-j; w. f iw -: -'? r i f t-- fi m -T?r i" v ' ': ' -il-r? tf.' ; . V. : v :j .-'- r . ?. . -a l4c 1- . . a ' It .. h t t.iki: tiii: al r, -a. waV - v !rj ij. .v- ' -i..' 3 0: lit SMITH S 4aM Jll. JiaW CO TO G-IVE TiarEnvc jk. call. I! NO CHANGING CAKS i ) n;..; .. ... j OMAHA, COL'jaCH- BLUFFS. KEEKASKA CITY j or FlATTSMOUTH to j i CHICAGO, !;-!f diiect ciiiii:i'ctiitis are matlf with Tluouglj Sleeping Car Lines --TO SKW YOKK. lKKSTOX, IM H I MKi.r;i , Lt.tl.TIMOKR. Wif'IIINi;'lN, AND ALL EAST FEN CITFs TlieSlLorLJiiu LARGEST HEST STOCKS OF GOODS, OF ALL. KINDS IN THE To WN. -LO- Tlie nicest fJreeri Winter Apj.les for sale.-Ove r '2QO l).mn down Teilii:. , 4 , . Potatoes by the Car-load, PEACH BLOWS CASH FA ID FOR HIDES FURS, TALLOW, dC, at J?. S. TVJXTTJS'S, PLATTSMOUTH, NEBRASKA JE M IP I M IS T "iRBB! J. V. WECKBACH, (Siiocs.'.r t '"UTIiMANN & wnoKISACH j KKTAIL OK Al.KIt I V STAPLE and FAUCY DEY GOODS. A fu;i line .? W 03 a D tf eviy l-soriiili m ..V Specialty KT T A ,,y th" l-wnd made 0:1 - -a.-a.w3.S-a A .ti.a-SA.tay Cll((iv . t-hnt mtl - ' attU Highest Market Price Paid for Choice Butter and Country Produce 5TNo Better FLOUR anywhere. Qaeeiisware WHO V a FEOhlA for .V 1 A SA rt 1 1. IS. UJl'lSVlll. K. .Y.t Tl. -.f-' all 1 oiitt i:i .'At 7.Y- iLC 8 aTI fl n 11 c j ol-T jV" 'irTTrt.' "J j Ch 1 . . 7 , . )"-3 iirS& ' vJ.-.rSli.'r;;,: .v i Vv:.; ' U- t 1 tiii: hint i.i 5-. for ST. LOUIS, W ln-ri I iiccl ( ci ncr.it us ai- i ..t!t ii: r I Nil'N II lot with '1 l:mi:nJi M. ri'il.y If! I.lllt S fill Cli l-'i;:t..ll 'I li. Tilt- Kliot it-st. p'pe.'iStfrt :u tl n.ost .-ti to: tahie via !ANNJBAU ta Ft. SCOTT. KA Lu..lA I. LAS, IIOI .TOX .If 37A. N.IA J.MO.MO, 0'.l.rr..S7C'.V. ;:ii all i-i.il. is iii rulilllSaii 10- V. I I I all ci- .!--.i:p; rj.it. ".. 1. i; ii. ;ti;. I l a ih- l.'i fats. With iiiiiini 's r.it -i.i.ti.u I'h.tii-i. Kxtra ( liai'f f;l t til il I'.vt -lii.iiii; hails. Tin- f;triiM:e., 15. & Q. I'stlafi- 'l.jI.Cill . Fast Tin t'. St--l ltll In.oK at;l SninMh r K . j 1 1 1 ; i n t -1 . r ::!. li'it-il iili tl.t- ii- tlmtt 7 lirottt, It Car Arrain't incut. n.ak tl.i-, al-nvc ail otl.ns. the lavorile l;i;iilr lo (he r AST, KOI'TII flt H ill-rhl. TRY lT.ani .n v. ill ! Hi A V KI.I NC jlu ur it li-;;ti cl a I ;iNt.-4iiiiii I. AW iiift in.a'.:i n :.l ut. l':.t'-s of Fare. M y hif 'ar Afi::tii iltMiii. s -' - 1 'I 'iu- T:il-i?. ill be Lrt-rfiilly i-n hy :u'j :k I') JamcN tl. cci. lletif.-al l";-.ssc:fr "'.ii-at-C . IV. S.llS'iii. TraO." Mii'.wrr. IS UNACQUAINTED WITH THp CI-OCRSPIIY OF 7H 5 C 'r UMTY, WILU SEE BY tXAMIHlNO THIS M.kP, THAT Ti' Table & Poctei Colto A MB SHOE Kept iii full ftot-k. A full aii'I coinpletf lwn- 6'.4A ylZ' JT STORE FOR BARGAINS. iiMutivy Itr-fuiulf :l 1n ull "iti'5 t liprt oo(U are not mm It r-K-iiirl f. I Our Motto is Live and Let Live." I l Mllll n IK South Kat-t CdiiicT Main h:kI Tiiinl Kirt-t t-. illl lillU Xt II. FI.AT IS Mi IU MI, NKIMt ASK A . J". "V. WECKBACH. a-lss CHICAGO. R08K ISLAND & PACIFIC R. R. IS THE (.'HEAT (OAATCnN'J LINK iSF.TWEKN 'WW. F. AST A: THE WEST I .i The elevated roads are so called caiwe owing to several new kinda of ao cident they are the shortest rout to j t c: 1uefv t ... ..:.'. '.lCfef'ul tf;ifii-r. I'l-l ri ct .: 'l-l i maciical. Tu:ri.ti ii n t:::.u c:tul,e. i il 1 l?f mnin hue runs fi. a i iiKMirt V t't BltillH. itutiii; thr..'.iiri: Jo'it-U otuw.1. I .v tic neseo. Al.'hiio. Ktt k !ltu'U. 1 't-t-"-:.,-' I.l!riy. Iowa I nr. M:r t. J.i .!:: vt.. lH- Moines ahe c:Ht:-l i-l lowai, Muart. A : ti tle, and Avoca ; vmh. hrtiiK-livs li-nti :j,..-ci:j Junctittn to IV'n ta : Wil'-tti Jt.tt.tt.-ti t.. tiue. Vutli1titt'-n. rmrlifl.i. Lit ti !(- il... ,i.. Centrpville, rrmn-tou. 1 ri'tm.n. -tinltt.. at: rrn, I.caver.wortn. Att-l.t : ami Uan-us - . Vutiiifc:ton to Siourt:.'-, .iui.:sv. a:.i.; Ki-.-x-Tilie; Kei:ku( to rar.uini.ton. llimspartf. tonsport. latU'pen.K-'it. KKlmt. ttt.i:t:v:v. L".ic;y--TUId8kalo)n. l'ultti. Mi'nrot. a! !'rs Mi.nn's Neat ton to Monroe; It M'ttnfi lt I n-w:M' -I: na.i : Wintorhet; Aiittitnc t.v l.ewtti 1 Atiout.-iu: :u.ti i Avx-ii to llurt.in. 'i ttis i j.;.stttr-i r tt-. t;:..r ; Railroad, whlt-.t onus, nn.t vi '.vu;-oi :t t::r::;li ' Une from t'huttyt irn.t ittft St-:it.t .:f i:t;t:tt. 'i'hroucli Express itutnjt-r 'J'r:i:;.ii. -ut. I'.t.i- . Bian I'alnre t "airs ali;tv-tir.t. at i-titi .-.:.-!; v t:. : bttlwet-n CHICAiio and l"irin:i v, Kx.'.s it. Cet'NTiL ISi.t:rr, Uavv-,i--h:t:i ;:n ! m- BOM. TUronsb cars areais-rjii ! at ti .V-ir.-t- , kae anil Kitfijts nv. a in trio 'i! ;) -t ;iu:. uriu : Bocklslnnd Miort I.n'i"." tj'iie tireat tim k l.-!i..t-t" is i i;.Tr:.:i:n'.iif Cqu'.ppetl. It nsI l""' .imply p ct: ?.-t ft tsacK i laid Willi sic -. r.J . Whet will pleas.; y- .i nift wi.t io t'.-.- .". . t .r Of enjoyieu yrtitr niaU, truii-.. pti:ta.i. t vr e . beautiful pratrie 't ttiintu r.M.l : .:. . i aur munitlcttiit Ijiihiw t an thiit u .;.,..: . ! llirounh Exyrv-t 1 rants. S mi i-pt at t n -? meal, as r-jikJ as "rvc-.l in r.r.y u-.-'.-lu-urevemj'-tlvi oetit. Appreciutiinr tiie lat-l thtrt a in:tj -r -t t. i people prefer ix-itortito upnrtii.-: in..S -it purpoaos mnd ttiu i'.Biuoit.--e inn-xvii. r ti&t .- m Of tnla line wnrruutuii: 1. t -Jtrii vt 'a-ttl . nounce tliat till 'tnirHinj' r:itiJ frJUm- i 1" '..- SitXpiii-7 Cuts for aievpun; ihjik'.- ,t.-i -.. corai. jtr.VKr. ii..vr.-;A r: . . . 11 Ticket Act Iu Cm '-.::-- For 1 n foarru u 1 1 n : l uiit cjij.'i' -A.. KIJIBAIii,. J.'.t.-t.-lfT ' ' Ci - t i .. I.' Till i i. At T :t . ai .i.: -i .M : C y. . t ". . . -.t -t 1' if.irposeROiilT. OrtRfitlier - i :il:it-e C.r Is a SMOlvINO i - a:i ftijtjj- your "Havana" v. dpnn tVi Mlssisslprt ; ! i .'iut crrtSM-il br tLft :. at t.lcd it I'OMPClI liluff. l !i. and Atchison, con- - : i L . .t :t 1 tt-poTs. :. !:. i y.VNClTIONS OF -.:. U l.I.N ii AiiE At P. tin .-: u::ig lines for Ua t i.li the I.. S. M. 5., and P.. n :i, witU P.. C. i St : !!. Crrt. ft. II. : . i. J : I'. U. i r ; I. B. : .v . Utla. . - .tt '.Milwaukee A Rock t::il liock lsl't! Teo. It:. t.i u:e DtiTcoport livisiott CROCKERY, Flour and Feed Store f In Jerry Hart mnn's v ISuildinir, Main Street, Tvo Doors East of Court House. PLATTSMOUTH, NEB. IOgrl3i?t Market JPrice a foh a:.l kinds or ritonycK. 'GOODS DELIVERED FREE To AiSY PART OF THE CITY, . t V, i ; j.i.t'-i it f-w .ti At '. ii-::i. Ai A -f j - Air v.t; ilifS .r.R. X.R.B, t. t j.uva U. K. -t ii I Ai. i r. 1). K. R. f i- itn l i:i0rt Fa'uno It. Ii. ! r. -V Mo. K. U. R. in Sv.h.l Jr.M iu.s.wiili 11 .c. K.S.K 14 . wtt.t ' ftttral Iowa ii. K. : V . i. .v v u. u.: r .th Tt.l., 1 eo. J: ':ir.: Wab.. Sfc iu 1. . lieo. N.-W. li. lids. t:-i H. ?L J tt. P.. :tti Afli.. 'l'mi.'ktv A Santa Fat Af. i. -i c :;! tt. lr. 1-. I. H.JlAt. At I '-".A v :vt ;v rii with lino. Pnc and Kan. Cfi". li hith. iU"i- C-rv. h nil lines for tits West t.-.--:.-v t,. iF.OTJ!A. Ir MOISCS. r-.-:r - :-rr. !.i:ave worth. C-t-v.. ;-.. i.-t.;d Iloutc," are aulj l7 Xiti ' ttv.:-. . - )i;jiic ta:-l-.t aiiHee. addrnta, jj. scrr. .iohx. Ouu 1 aiia 1'utts'sT Au As Aoents for the oll FIKK IXSUI.ANCM CO.. of FWport, an! the (iEKMANIA LIFE INSUHANCE CO., cf New York, we offer to the public good ami reliable Insurance on the most reasonable terms o We invite 'our friends and the jmblic generally to call and Sec us, and II SDPIECT OUB STOCK ! si. Ipuriiuulais ti tiiv tf.Jres. HANSEN & GHASSOT. as t . t . ... UX3