X3C3S-A.XjID - EXTRA
PLATTSMOUTH, NEBRASKA, THURSDAY, OCTOBER 7, 1880.
"Wa
4
THE HEHAL1)
"What did tlc Puritans come to 1 his
country for?' asked a Massachusetts
teacher of hi ciass. To worship in
their own way and make other people
do the same," was the reply.
A piece of eonrt-plaster on a pretty
girl' check is not wry much out of
phicc; but it improves matters wiicn
lier stupid beau goes home ut eleven
o'clock with it ou one end of hs
nose.
At a social reunion a few evening
ago, the question was asked, "Of wit
sort of fruit do a quarrelsome man
and wife rem i ml yuuY" The youn.4
lady who promptly answered, "A
prkkly pear,' got the medal.
ALeadville deacon ran a man three
miles up a hill and rolled liiut Ix.cK
in a barrel, lor the offense of calling a
church a Joss bouse. They're bound
to have religion respected iu Leau
ville. A compositor who 'set up" the
toast: "Woman without her, man
would be a savage," put the stops in
the wrong place, ami it read : " Wo
man, without her man, would be a
savage.
When the Prince of Wales1 son Is
ordered aloft by the eaptain, he men
tally remarks : "This is my gran .
motlier's ship, and it makes my back
ache to climb that pole, and I ain'i
going to do it only this once."
An Irish baronet had so many rab
bits on his property that he made
can Idea of their tut. ''And to prove
the fact," said he, "the moment a ter
rier dog came into the room the can
dles immediately began to run."
Prolessor Geiger sat in an easy-
chair on the ueck, looking very pale.
coniuassionate captain asked how
Nit. "Miserable, miserable; I'm
iu, I'm sick, x nave paid
to .Neptune till I have lost
thing." -But," said the oap-
! see you still have your boots
lelt." "Yes," said the Professor, faint
ly, "but they were on the outside."
A story is going the rounds, of a
worthy German farmer of Berks
eaunty, who had a shrewish wiie.
Alter many bickerings she recently
announced ner intention to desert his
mansion and never return. .News of
the occurrence reaching the neigh- J
bors, one of iheiu cat lea to condole
With the farmer, and saii, "Hans, 1
Eity you." "Jdy boy," repliea the
onest Dutchman, as he tiiMurbeuiy
knocked out the ashes of lus pipe,
"you vas right. She has slmst come
back."
Hot
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ft 1 t r m f r 1 1 1 5 im
IESTTArBILnSffllffilEMTr
(Over Mathews5 Mardware Store.
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t i t II II II kill IkJf
Itemember, it is not (lie weather
cock that changes; it is the wind.
It is on record In the United State
court in New Orleans that a negro iu
Grant parish faisted ixty d;iys.
111 two years' time the value o( land
in certain parts of .South Carolina bun
risen from $2 to $10 per acre.
having opened a
New and veBy (DoBMjpllete Stoclk f
MWl
comprising
IfflAirS,. IBCDMMIBriTS,
FIEATIffllEmS, MEIBIBDH,
LACES,
would be pleaded to have the ladies of
IPlattsntouth and (Cass County call
and see Iter stock.
Special Orders taken M Pattern Hats.
IffiJEMlEMlBIEm I
The outh moom9 over Mathews9 Mard
ware Store and don't fail to call, whether
desirous of purchasing or not.