Nebraska herald. (Plattsmouth, N.T. [Neb.]) 1865-1882, April 08, 1880, Image 4
THE HE RALD TTIT AND HUMOR. - It is one of the most difficult ,feats imaginable for a bee to bold its stung. A professional beauty, though two words, is really oue silly belle. A clock pendulum is bound to keep timo if it has to swing for it. The person who attempts to handle an electric eel generally imagines that . he has found a warm meal. Girls, don't throw your cast-off shoes in the alleyways, foralley gaiters are dangerous. Is a short fat man, whose namo is Tripp, necessarily a "round trip?" If so, let him be so ticketed. Little things are often important. What would a40-cent cigar amount to if you had no match? He said her hair was dyed, and when she indignantly exclaimed, Tis false! ho said he presumed so. One sealskin sacque is very good in a house where girls are all ot nearly one size. A well-known M.C. recently began a speech with the assertion that "he could not keep silent without saying a few words." Can it properly bo said of a young man who devotes his time compli menting the ladies, that ho is engaged in she praising? There is a difference between light ning rods and enlightening rods. One takes the mischief out of the clouds, and the other out of the bad boys. "The evil's of men's wives lives after them, while the good which they do is seldom spoken of with safety to a step-niothcr." "Lost or strade from the scriber a sheep all over white. One leg was black and half his body. All persons shall retcivc live dollars to bring him. He was a she goat." An Irishman, who was drinking the health of a bishop, gave as his toast: "May your rivirince live to cat the old hen that crows over your gravel" Supposing, Charley, you were at a masquerade ball, would you dance with an unknown lady, if she request ed it? Said Charley, "If she is masked and I am asked why shouldn't 1?" A poetess sings : "Tho' I were dead, my heart would beat for thee." This Avould certainly be a "dead beat," and it strikes us the poetess assumes too much poetic license. "Molly," 6aid au American Home Ruler, "if ye ivcr take it into your head to poison me, d'ye moiud, be sure ye give it to inc in a glass of the raaloiild stuff. I would like to die nate and comfortable-like." In a little village near Leeds, Eng., mav be seen the following: "A D.iy bkool kept at l'laiso. Terms 2 pens and three pens per week for re.ul fng and knitting and righting and sow ing." "Mamma," remarked Freddie to his mother, as he came home from school one day,"I wish I was a postage stamp" "Why so, Freddie?" inquired his moth er. "Because its first licking is sure to be its last." "trrcen street!" called out the con ductor. "Green's treat, eh?" ejaculated an inebriated individual in the corner of the car; "all right, (hie) just's lievc drink off. Green (hie) 's any other man." Professor What is monarchy? Freshman A people governed by a king. Professor Who would reign -if the king should die? Freshman The quopu. Professor And if the queen should die? Freshman Tho jack. A Jit tie Woodstock (Connecticut) misa had long desired a sister for a playmate, and having been taught to ask God for everything, site asked Him for a sister, telling her mother she would do the praying if she would make the clothes. After praying sev eral nights, and getting a little impa tient that her request was not granted, she said one night, "O Lord, send ino a little sister right away. If you haven't got a white one, send ino a black one." This same little girl was corrected by her mother the other day for being naughty, "Well, I can't help it," she said; when you prayed for me why didn't you pray for a bet ter child?" Decision liescrved, bnt Foreshadowed. "Jedge," said "one of the boys," walking into Judge Moses' ofllcc this afternoon, "I've got a question that I can't wait to send on to the supreme court of Maine furau nuswetyiud 1 wish you'd turn yourself loose on it. Which is the highest, a sequence flush begin ning with the ace and ruuniu' up to a five-spot, or one startin' with the king an' runiiin down queen, jack, ten-spot, and nine-spot?" "I'll take it under advisement," said his honor, thoughtfully ; "but if you get a chance to bet on the hand with the ace you can call on me for money." Virginia City (Nev.) Chronicle. Tho Rural Members iu Boston. One rural member of the general court, at least "cut" the annual sermon Wednesday, and he took the occasion to pay a visit to his cousins at Mount Pleasant. "Tickets sir?" said the polite High land conductor, as the member handed him a quarter iu payment for his ride. "Hey?" "Tickets?" repeated the man in gray. The member looks confused, and the conductor repeats his question "Tick ets?" "Tickets what to?" asks the law maker. The knight of the punch then ex plains the ticket system to the passen ger, when the latter signifies his inten tion of paying but a single fare and receives his change, the conductor withdrawing to his platform. "Gosh," says the rural member to a fellow passenger, "I didn't know but what these ere railroads gave us repre sentatives tickets to a theater or some thing. I had hcarii there was a big competition atwecn these ere hoss-railroads and thought p'raps that fellyr was goin'ter give me a ticket, so's ter kinder buy my influence. Thunder, . they've picked up tho wrong man, though when they try to bribe me. Tell mo when we come to Mt. Pleas ant, will yer? I haintmuch acquaint ed about here." And the passengers smoothed out their faces and resumed their papers. In consequence of the frequent dis covery of excavations and fissures in a number of houses in Odessa, causing damage to the gai and water pipes, it ia believed that the city is undermined and threatened with serious danger. A commission has consequently bet u formed to conduct investigations un derneath the town. The judges of the Iowa Supreme Court are accused of charging mileage while they ride on the railroads a3 deadheads. Ml A PHYSICIAN'S TESTIMONY. 20 Year a Physlolan. 12 Years a Suf V ferer. Tried Regular Remedies. ' Triad Patent Medicines. Per-( . ' manently cured by , SAilFGRD'S RADICAL GUnEs MESSRS. "WEEKS A roTTXT?. Bin ? I katra. practised medicine lor thirty year, and aave been a sufferer mjielf for twelve years with Ca tarrh in the oaV pK',fjnct anfl Jaryux. I bay tucd ererytiilrir In the materia tn&Hca with oat any permanent relief. until ft nally T wa Induced to try a patent medicine (sometblnjr that vre ai!o- Sathiata ara Tory loth to 1). I tr!-d ruid ly.re others until I got hold ofyr.or. I f llowsd tba direction to tba letter, and m nanny to aa fear had a permanent rnre. Vnr lSAmCAL CCTBS 1 certainly a nappe combination for the are of that mmi UBpleas&h and, dangerous of euaaaeea. Tonrs, rrsp-rtfetty, 1. Vf. QUA V, M. D- Of Dr.D.W. Oray Son, PhT8lela- mad DrtjRgUts, Jilu.eaUue, Iowa. llFaOATOrm, Iowa, March 27. lOT. '' Tba Tain of tale remedy most not be overlooked la the eare of tboee SYMPATHETIC DISEASES, Affection, of the Tre, Ear. Throat. Lnnjre aa Bronchial Tube which In innycei acc-mpa- severe caae af Catarrh. 1 be Inflamed and f:v aaed condition of tlx mucous membrane l t r eauae of all tbeae tronblis: and mull the aysteii baa been brought piperly un-. -r V e lnfl ier.-. r. tba RADICAL Ct'V.K. perfect freedom trow Uta Cannot be reasonably exnrcled. It la but three year alnco SA?!TOT!rVS ItADT CAL CtJRK wae placed before the wubUr-. u in that abort time It cat found its war from Mai.e to California, and U everywhere acknuwledK'J drugg-lsts and physicians to be ths n.c'. successful preparation for the thorough treat:nit of Catarrh Tr compounded. Tba fact will be deemed of. more Importance when it i conpled with the etate-meet-that within flre yr.- ycr aso tilSeraot remedies for Catarrh bare been placed on sale, and to-day, with one or two exceptions, th- ir baraes Cannot be recalled by the beat-li: formed drujfirlat. .advertising- may succeed In fo'cinif a few sale, but, unless the remedy possess ti-di.ubted specific medical propertlc.lt ij absolutely certain to fail into merited oL'Scur.ty. 2eta paeksraof SAVFORD'S TJ.ZtUW CURB Contains Dr. fcanford's Improved J lhslinj Tube, with fall directions for Its Be i.t a 1 esses. I'rica f 1.00. Bold by all wholesale and rtj il Irurrtsts and dealers throua-hotit the United tlf-t a.i't Canada. WEEKS A I'OTTEK. General Aga:s and Whole sale Drug gists. Doston, Mr.M. IS SIMPLY WONDERFUL. KuroBTox. jrnrx..) April 10, 1S77. J T eom'der Coluks' VoltaTO rxnTiB the best plaster Ierr aw, aad am recoaLa.ccdlsjT ttim to all. C. McMobbow. Hr5. Itr, I April 18, 1877. 1 It has done my boy mora good than all other medicines, lie . Sow roes to school, for the first time In three years. i.iZA Jim Drrnsux Ejcxa.IMm, April 3. 1377. J X111c the one 1 got well. Ther re the best platters, no doubt, la the world. . L. ilcGiu Asn Cr.OTi, Mo, March 21. 13H. t Accept try thanks for the food derlred from the twoCou mi' ri.asTBS sent me some time ago. fV. C. iiooa. COLLINS1 VOLTAIC PLASTER for local pnjna. lameness, soreness, weakness. Bnmbness, and inflammation of tho luci- lircr, kidneys, spleen, bowels, bladder, hert.and rana elas, la equal to an army of doctors and acres ot plants and shrubs. Trl co ,JJ rtoo r: t g cold by all Wnolenale and IJetail Tirccrht throughout the United States and Cacadu. and by WEEKS A FOTTEK. Proprietors, Boston. If sis. Millions of Mothers cxpiess Ihcir dr lisbt over Castori. It is nature's remod for jassimilating -the food. Unlike Cas tor Oil, it is pleasant to take, anil uclike Morphine Syrupa, it ia barruleas. Caatoria regulates the Bowels,lo. troys Worms, Cures Sour Curd and Cl'ic. nd allays Feveriahness. "What siras health to the Child, promotes rost for the Mother. Children Cry for Fitch-er's-Castoria. It is the most reliable. eCootive and popular article dispensed by DruggisU. Since Iloalinff remedies bare been used hy SUFFERING MAN has there been known each absolute Pain relieving agents as the QeNTATJR JjIKIMENTS. They soothe, heal,nd core. They HEAL Cuts, Wounds. Galls, Old-Sores, ErC ken-breasts and Sore Nipples; CUKE Pain ia the tack, Rhcumatiain. Scia tiea. Lumbago, Neuralgia, Ear-Ache, Tetter. Pimples. Itch. Salt Rheum, and all Flesh, Bono end JMusclo ailments of Animals : SUBDUE Inflammation and Swellings: BELIEVE Iioils, Fclons.Ulccrs.Soro Throat, Bronchitis, Croup and Quinsy ; EXTRACT Pain from Burn?, Scalds, Stings, Frost-bites, Sprains and Bruises. The experience of centuries has made the cErmuR "Liniments, the most speedy and efieotire eurative agents for MAN and BEAST tho world has ever known. The Centaur hare relieved more hed-ritldcu Crip ples healed more frightful wounds, and saved more valaable animals than all other liniments, ointments, oils, extracts, plasters and so-called "pain killers" and "skin cures" combined. Physicians and Veterinary Surgeons en dorse the Centaur Liaixuc.ts ; millions of men, women and children in all countries use them, and Housekeepers, Farmers, Planters. Travelers. Liverymen, Tceniter and Stock-growers, are their p itroii?. T'ucj are clean, they are handy, they are ctcn., and they are reliable. ILere is no ache, pain, or sta-elling which they wi!l r.ot alle viate, subdue, or cure. Sold ihroupbout THE HABITABLE GLOBE for 50 ets. and Sl.OO a botilc. Trial bottle?, 25 cts. ROBERT DONNELLY'S AND BLACKMITII SHOP, Wagon, Buggy, Machine and Plow re pairing, and general jobbing I am now prepared to do all kinds of repairing mi iii hiiu outer inaciunery, aa mere is a good lathe In my shop. PETER HAD EN, The old Reliable Wagon Maker has taken charge of the -wagon shop. He is well known as a KO. 1 WOEKMAN. "Vew TVasong and Ilussjle made to uruer. SATISFACTIOX GUARANTKKD. Shop on Klxthstreet opposite Streight's Stable BSCOLLIBS'M VOLTASO PLASTER B1UCK1 BRICK! If you want any Fire or Ornamental Brick, Call on J. T. A. HOOVER, LOUISVILLE, - - NEBRASKA GE0HGE EDGEItTON. Wines, Liqou r s - ' AND OIO-ARS: Main Street, opposite the Court House. This place is Ju3t opened, new, good goods of all kinds. We want to keep a good houne and please our customers. REMEMBER THIS. Oly. J. F. BAUMEISTER Furnishes Fresh, Pure Milk, DELIVERED DA1I..Y. Snfi-lal calls attended to. and Fresh Milk from same cow furuished when wanted.- 41y WH HABDWARE STOEE. J. S. DUKE Has Just opened an entire new stock of hard ware, ou 2w.ar jsjt -Turns sarwuB3sE:ar Next door west of Chapman & Smith's Druj store. A Full Line of SHELF HARDWARE, SHOVELS, RAKES. SPADES and ALL GARDEN TOOLS. NAILS, NAILS, NAILS, by the Kec, or Pound-. ROPE, POWDER. SHOT,' GRIND STONES, WHEEL-BARROWS. A Full Line of VTf .KK V. Special Rates tc Guilders and Con tractors. AU Koods sold as lov s they possibly can be aud live. . 4iv MIKE SCHNELLBACHER, U0KSE SHOEING, " AND WAGON KEPAIItING All kinds of FA KM IMPLEMENTS mended Neatly & Promplp. : u : Horse, Mule& OxShoeiii?. In short, we'll shoe anything that liar four feet, from a. Zebra to a Giraffe. Come and see us. ISTJDW SZETOIP n l i th S' bet'A-een Main aid Vine Stn;ots. usi across u corner from t'ae nkw IIKKAI . offick. my' TAKE TUG NO CHANGING OARS -) FKOM (- OMAHA, COUNCIL BLUFFS, NEBRASKA CITY or PLATTSMOUTH to CHICAGO, Where direct connections are niadewith Through-Sleeping Car Lines TO- NEW YORK. BOSTON, PHILADELPHIA, BALTIMORE. WASHINGTON. , AND ALL EASTERN CITIES. T7ze S7xo-rt Ltixe Via PEORIA for IXDIANAPOLIS. LOUISVILLE. CIXCIK NA.TI, and all poinUlin the SOUTHEAST- THE BEST LIXE FOB ST. LOUIS, Where Direct Connections are made in the UNION DEPOT with Through Sleeping Car Lines for oil points lsUL 1 JI, The Shortest, Speediest and most Comfortable via HANNIBAL to Ft. SCOTT, DEXISCX, DALLAS, IIOUSTOX A USTIX, SAX A XTOXIO, OALVESTOX, an all points in TEXAS, Pullman lG-Whoel Palace Sleeping Cars. C. B. & Q. Palace Drawing-Room Cars, With Morton's ftfclinins Chairs. NoExtra Charge for SeatJin Keelining ('hairs. The famous C..SB. & Q. Palace DiiiiiigJCars. Fast Time, Steel Kail Track and Superior Equipment combined with their Great Throuoh Car Arrangement, makes this, above all others, the favorite Route.toltho KAST, SOUTH OK2SOUTII-EAST. TRY IT, and youjwill find TRAVELING a Lux uryliustcad of a Discomfort. . All information about! Rates of Fare, Sleep ing Car Accommodations, and Time Tables, will be cheerfully given by applying to James R. Wood, General'Passenger g't, Chicago. C.W. S3IITM. Trattic Manager. HOTEL. CITY HOTEL PLATTSMOCTn, NEB. First class Lodging Rooms. First Class Boarding. Good Sample Rooms Every tbing and every comfort . A Good Hotel caiiFurnisli Also. Good Wines, Good Beer, Good Liquors. Good Lemonade, Good Cigars, Kept at the Citj Hotel. Hly FRED. GOOS, Proprietor. SIGN, CARRIAGE and ORNA MENTAL PAINTER, A. ASHLEY. Sh'p over the Brick Block next to II Boeck's. PLATTSMOUTH. ... - NEB 41y. . jd$fctT fc- z ft Slip i James Pettee DEALEU IN Musical Instruments, Sole Appointing Agent for The I'll rivalled Mason &. HaiuIIn CABINET ORGANS. Alco State Agent for the Henry F Miller and W. C. Eiiifrfon Co. I'ianos. SAMPLE IXSTllUMKATS at office. Sixth, one door south of Main St, PLATTSMOUTH, NEB. ItliiMic Scliolars Will do well to examine our New Mason & Hamlin OEG-AiillUSTBTJCTOB NEW BRICK YARD. . I am going to this spring aud want to MAKE THEM CHEAP, that people can build BRICK nOUSES IXSTEAD OF FRAME. I shall contract and Build BRICK Houses, the coining ye at aud would like those Intending to Build to givtf mi a call before looking elsewhere JERKY HAllTMAX. .. At my place ou W.t-hinton Avenue or at V. S. White"-- Store oi: Main Street, Plattsmoiitlt, Nebraska. 45ni3 N ew Firm ! J0MS & AOXEW, at the Brick Livery Stable PLATTSMOUTH, NEBRASKA. The old Bonner stables, in riattmouth. are now leased by Jones & Agnew, and they have on n.ma .e'.v ana hand-'oine uccommoaaiious in t,it! shape of HOUSES, CARRIAGES, BUGGIES, and SA DOLE HORSES. We aro prepared to keep HORSES FOR SALE s TRADE! And will Train and Break Colts t On lteasonab'm Terms. V . ALSO UKME.HDEn, That with plenty of room (that every one knows we have) in ourstabie, we can get Farm era' Ftockand wagons, loads of hay, ice, under cover, wnere tney win Keep ury. Thankinsr all the old natrons for their liberal! ty.we solicit their trade for the future, satisfied that we can accommodate them better and do better by them than ever before. 501y JONES & AGNEW. WILLIAM HEROLD, dealer In DltY GOODS, CLOTHS. BLANKETS. FLANNELS, FURNISHING GOOD3 :o:- GROCERIES OF ALL KINDS. Largo stock of BOOTS and SHOES to bo CLOSED OUT AT COST :o: - Notions, Queensware, and In fact everything you cau call for in the lino of General Merchandise. CASH PAID FOR HIDE'S AND FURS. All kinds of country oroduce taken in ex change for goods. v. j iicu.-i si lii.t i .1 ..- I 1" i aliy II-:ao.ly for A-fl0 -!i S -Lnvigora tor; Las been usedj ID v Dracticfi! l by the public,? K.""" "ur more 35 years,5 "i5 "with unprecedented results. J I-'-' SEND FOR CIRCULAR. I . TT, 2nA, UnU Milif KIW TOXlitCITY am ii:(Xi.:T w i :x tell tov its sepftatios MtVUWMltUmMVi C aimrtioa.,1 M &M jTBiii d li a ft a i tmy C Sf ."!: '3 nr a n Mil K V 19 :a6 P tV - !..- VnO IP- N WHO IS UNACQUAINTED WITH THE SEE BY EXAMINING CHICAGO, ROCK ISLAND & PACIFIC R. R. IS THE GREAT CONNECTING LINK BETWEEN THE EAST & THE WEST! Its main line runs from Chicago to Council Blutfs. pasMhiK through Joliet, Ottawa, La Sulle, Geneseo. Holine, liek Island. Davenport. West Liberty. Iowa City.MareuKO. Brooklyn, Urinnell, Iea Moines (the capital of Iowa), Stuart. Atlan tic, and Aroca ; with branches from Bureau Junction to Peoria : Wilton Junction to Musca tine, Washington, ! airfield, Eldon, Belknup, C'entreville. Princeton. 'iYeiiton. Gallatin. Cume ron, Lieavenworth, Atchison, and Kansas City; Washington to Sicurcey, Oskaluosa, and Knox ville; Keokuk to Furniingtou, Bonaparte, llen tonsport. Independent, Eldon, Ottumwa. Eddy ville.UskulooBa, Pel la, Monroe, and Ixs Moines; Newton to Monroe; Des Moines to Indiunoluund W intertet: Atlantic to Lewis undAuduuon; and Avoca to Harlan. Thia is positiyely tho only Kailrond, which owns, and operates a through line from Chicago into the SUite of Kansas. Through Express Passencer Trains, with Pull man Palace Curs attached, are run each way daily between CnicAGO and Peoria. Kansas City, COL'NCIl. ULITFrS, liEAVINWORTII and ATCHI SON'. Through cars are also run hetweeu Milwau kee and Kansas City, via the "Milwaukee aud liocklslnnd fchort Line." The "Groat Kock Island" Is macnldcently equipped. Its road bed is simply perfect, and its. track is laid with steel rails. What will please you most will be the pleasure Of enjoying your meals, while passing over the beautiful prairies of Illinois and iowa. in one of our maenhicent Dining Cars that accompany all Through Express Trains. You Ret an entire meal, as eooa as is served lu any first-class hotel, loraeventy-tlve cents. Appreciating the fact that a majority or ije people prefer separate apartments lor different purposes (and the immense passenger business of this line warranting- it), wo are pleased to an nounce that this Company runs I'ullinan l'alace Sleeping Cars for Bleeping purposes, and Palace PTJI.I.MAIV TrA. I.A C E CAKH are run frTVt If. RLTTFFA. KASAN CI XV. Tlcketa via this Ilne, known aa the "Great Kock. Island lEoate," are Mid by all Ticket Afitf In the I lted States and Canada. for laforaatloa not obtaiaanle at your borne ticket office, addresa. JL. KIMBALL. JS. ST. .TOHN, Oen'l buperlfltcndcuU , Gen'l Tkt. and Paag'gr Atrt Chicago, IU. CO g; 2 3 I SB Q o " HQ CD o C5 ts1 PROF. HARRIS' RADICAL CURE 103 SPESTIATTOEE(EA, THE "SEMINAL PASTILLE" A Valuable Disc-orer a:i4 Krwlpartureiii htt4 iral Science, m eitttrelj Nw and ociUTfy-frt "K ive B tincd j iwr I he pted and permanent Cure ol Seminal Xmiseions A Impetoncy by the only true way, ti: Direct Aoolioastien to th orin- eipal Scat of tba liaeaae, acting hy Aoaorption. aril axrr tii.R it vprcifie iufluence uu Seminal veilei KJac-ulit-ory Xucta, rovtrato Otaadaud tTreUira. ThMM tlli Itemeiiylt attaiul-! with do pain or iaconrenieavc, it ia quickly ditvd aud toon aborhed, producing aa lm medio to tootlUiiff and restorative rfftrt upouthtiex ual iid Hervoua oraitixationi "wrecked lrm seit'-abu a and tznMrs, atoppiNC the drain trem the lyiUm, rvator lngLhe mind to hrltn and sound m emery, roHorinc the Dimucos of 8ieht, Kerroun Dobility, Cod fusion or Ida as. Aversion to Society, io.to.aad the apar aiiee of premsturo old ago ucuallv ncconipanyiB this trmib'.e, and rettoriaje perfect Sexual Vigor, where it hat been dermant "turyear. Tuts mod of trtatBaent has stood tit test In Tery severe e-w, aud is now a pronounced success. Drag are two much prescribed in these troubles, and, at many eau bar witaess to, with but litt'e it any pennon-mt Kood. 'tt? is no Nocsense about tliis K repara tion. Practical observalinn enables us to povitirely rusrtn tee that it will rive aatisflsetion. Xurimg the eiylvt years that it has seen ia ft-weral se, we have thousands ot testimo-nials ar to its value, ard il is bow oouce-d-d by the Medical ProfSMn to bo tho most rational meaus yet discovered t reach ing and eurinjc this very prev. alcnt troubla. tiat is well know n to bo the cause ot uutoid misery to so many, aud upon w hem quuks prey with theiru-ele-s nostrums and biff fee a. The Remedy is put up in a neat b-tx, enoti-(!i to last a iviAnt h. and scot in a plain wrspner by mail scaled for 3, Two boxes, (sunlvi-pnt to tifct t a p-?ruianet cure unless in severe oases) $5 Three boxrs fasting threa raU months, w iil stt ni issiopf. snd rcs'ore vipor, in the wont mm. 7. Full DIHECTIOS8 for ntinir will toMwipaiiy SACK KOX. ' i-tend icr a DaTiptive rampnirt giTlnf Anarnmicai IIlutration.whlch wU4 convince tha most aeruticAl n that ther ca he rcsfnreil to pfricet manhood, anU n fitted forth itutie 0f lite, lima a. it nerer ftfft-cted. jp Sent Sealed for Uxnp to any otto. 8j!d OJY by the' HARRIS REMEDY CO. MF'G.CKEMISTa Marketnd8lh.SU. ST. LOU'S, MO. BOOKSSslel.LLION A larre. -new and com Dlete GoJds to ! "wVedloct- containinx, wltn many I others, the loliowinjjf chapters t A coTiipoteut Womanhood, ticieetioti ol AVife. Evidences ot Virginity. Tern- ierameiiu, eoinpat.ble aud incompati I k.e, Sterility iu women, cause and U c liltru, tKV iu Dnarsruviii auibb v uwaDAMua. A '1 -rice to wires, Prostitution, its raues. Celeb cy and Va'riinuvv eoiapmrrd, Con'ujral duties. Conception, Con :. me:t, Ivove and Courtuip. 1 n't pediments to Marriage, iu i.iiiie and ft'm-s'e. Science cc KeprvHtuetioxi, Single life r-ntim-rvtl. Lav of Miuribr, law of Oivoroa, Lejtal rights cf inar-Ked vuvAt n, etc., includnK Diseases peculiar to Women, tSir eau we and treaimcnL A book for private m -i coii;d ratereadi!!. ot 320 pavs, -with full i'laxa iva fcr-Viii2-, bv mailt scai-d f r 60 ceitU- Th3 Private Medicnl Artviser," on B-TphiiiavOonorrbCM. Giert, stricture, VarieoewIeV ac, a so vu rpormattorhoia, Sexual iJobllity-, andlm j ateacy, f-oni Sit-abuse said xCxcvsmb, eaasing; Seminal Vmissins, Nt rvoustMi, AvctMOn to Society, Confusion ot Ideas, rhviccl decay, Ui'iKiessof t ipht, IetectiveMemoryi Iun ot rexoai loir.-rf etc. makiii-r xna,rriaKe iiuprop or v-ihanny, prin treatment, and a fr-at maay Valujauie receipts for the cure of all private dIoii aaub l-M, ovor tQ n.atrs, 4K) CCMts. "reledic. Acfyic-' a lecture on V&cUood suid Woniailiomi, 1? eertxst or ail tUr--e in ne nioc.y btrund vmIucm, 01. They cental a CJ0 ,'- and orr loo lllustraUcns, embracing every thin' on tho ccneraii-va system that is worth kiov;nj(, and mut-h that is iot puhlishd in any other work. Ths com bievd volume is posi tivriy thi best Populsr Medical Book published, ajid i-fiosedissntisflsd mfter (ettiaf; It can have their money -reft in did. The Anthpr is aa eipeneneed 1'ttr-iirion of maiajr years ptarti.-o, fas is wall known, ) and tite' ndvico r:vuv and Kclcs ibr treerment laid down, will be fr-iund cf t-'-t value to those sutScrinf from impurities crthe syni, csrriy errors, lost vigor, or any o the numer rui trAublve eemicf under tke bead of 'PriTSUo or " Chronic 'seascs. Setatfn single volume, or complete In ( lie, for rVic iu Stamps, sn-rer or Currewsy. (CoutuU tettioa oon"&oiitUJ and letters aro promptly and traukiy sncweredw-.thout char.) Adftrcur Uf. OUttS' UMp'Srr- cary, 12 M. Dih St., ftt-Lotu, lit. (2stobUshodl&7-) i For sale fay Newi Uealora. Aoc.nl I S wanted . (PR. PITTS br-vites mil persons snfhrrTnif frmn "V Rl FT! ELK to sexd him th.ir r-ams aad ad.irrse, H and herhy as-nires them that t -y wi t kvh 3 aooiws'.ir, to inmix ad raoi tac 2f ot a Trnoa.' Private Hospital, XUS S. Clark at..Cbicae, IKCTT'Sree-tv.all I'rivate.Cbrenio and Penult Dinssss Cen-Mltanaa free. Iutiea aad Oeacle mn, sead oos dolkw for aannDles of beet riibtr reeds, aad valuable tDSsrma-Uon hv xprees. fteUo blo K-snaie pi.U, & per baa. Privsts boats smd a arse fer latles daiing eea-fineutfet- A aew werk. price &O eenu be mail. Wtm -rie ef Nature. PnTet. oloc er MftrrUc. Or lane mt eeneratioa. tlaaee Youth and Uanbaed: a wealta f choice aa4 laluable ia formaUoa. 9t tatareat to ooih aaaea. Kathioc Saaaiee I. feed taat, aad rcAaaoienu Inter aaatioa a e e e r before pnblUhed. No family ahould he withMt it. C9 LU C9 CD Addrvae. Dr. A. U. I". JOJ Chirk St. .-j wnnpnTiiiKBabUt lately aad apeedily eared. I leaa. Ne publicity. ead atama Ibr tuU partica'an. Dr CarlUg, SOt S. cSwk St, Ciucafe, UU- tM k till tlMJWAt. t-jaTlH.l CEOCRAPHY OF THIS COUNTRY, WILL THIS MAP, THAT THE Vintiiq ( ir for entitle purposes only, oneotner great feature of our Palnce Cars is a BMOKlNtJ SAJ.CK)N where you can cujoy your "Havana1 at all hours of the day. MuumUcent Iron Uridees span the Mississippi and Missouri rivers at all points crossed by tills line, and transfers aro avoided at Council Bluffs, Kansas City, Ijeavenworth. and Atchison, con nections being made in Union Depots. THE PRINCIPAL 11. It. CONNECTIONS OK THIS GltEAT THROUGH L1SB ARB A3 FOLLOWS: At Chicago, with all diverging lines for tba East and outh. At KNCLtwooD. with the L. S. & M. and Ft. W . AC It. Hds. At Wasuinuton II eights, with P., C. & St. L. 11. R. At I.A SAM.E. with IU. Cent. It. R. At 1'kiki A. with P. I". A J.; P. D. E.: I. B. & W-: III. Mid.: and T. P. A W. ltds. At Kock Island, with "Milwaukee & Rock Island t-liort Line." aud Rock lai d & Peo. Itda. At Davknpout. with the Davenport Division C. M. A St. P. It. K. At WisTl.lliEBTT, with theB.. C.R. & N.R.B. . At Ghinnkll. with Central Iowa R. R. At Dks Moines, with 1). M. A K. D. R. R. At Cof.vcii. BLurFS. with Union Pacific R. R. At Omaha, with B. A Ho. R. R. R. in Neb.) AtCoi.uMBrs JtrNCTION.withB..C. R. A N. It R. At Ottcmwa, with Central l'jwa H. K. ; W St. U & Pac, and C. B. Q. R. Rds. At Keokl-k. with Tol.. Peo. & War.; Wab.. St.' Louis A Pac. and St. L . Keo. A N.-W. It- Kds. At Cameron, with II. St. J. R. R. At Atchison, with Atch., Topeka Santa Fe; Atch. & Neb. and Cen. Br. U. P. R. Rda. At l.EAvr.NwouTU, with Kan. Pac, and Kan. Cent. R. Rds. At Kansas City, with all lines for the West and Southwest. throatrh to PEORIA. DES MOIXE8, ATl'HIMIX. and LEAVEX WORTH O. F. JOHNSON, DEALER IN Drugsi TV7 nrJiir 9 ltlCUlUlUCDf AND TFdXe& All Paper Trimmed Free of Charge. ALSO DEALER IN Stationery, Magazines, AND Latest Publications. Prescriptions Carefully Coiupoandetl by an i.xpericnci Druirsist. REMEMBEU THE TLaCE. Gth JST. 2 DOORS SOUTH OF MAIN PLATTSMOUTH. NEB. NEW FIRM. ZSrZETVsT GOO DS ! I JISO. I50IVS & SOX, BAKERS AND CONFECTIONERS. At O. Guthman's old store. A FULL LINE OF NEWLAND FRSSII. BREAD STUFFS, of every description. Choice and Fancy Candies and all kinds of Canned Goods. CIGARS AND TOBACCOS, of the best brands. CHRISTMAS TOYS, dC, &C in endless quantities. Fresh Bread Daily. Don't fail to Call. S81y J. BONS & SON. I'rop s. SAGE BROTHERS, Dealers in ST O "VIES , ETC., ETC., ETC. Oue Door East of the Post-Ofllco, I'lattsnioutb, A""tailtna. -: O :- Practical Workers iu SHEET IRON, ZINC, TIN. BRA- ZIERY,&c.,&c. Large assortment of Hard ana Soft Pumps, Gass Tipes and Fittings. COAL STOVES, Wood and Coal Stoves for HEATING OR COOKING, Always ou liana. 2vry variety of Tin, Sheet Iron, and Zinc n ora, arpt III Diuta. MAKING AND REPAIRING, Done on Short "Notice. 3TKVERYTHIXQ WARRANTED ! pricem Lotv noxvx. SAGE BOS. Excelsior Barber Shop. J. O. BOONE, One door west of SolomonlttiXathan's Storu. HAIE-CUTTIITG, SHAVING AND S H A M P O O 1 N Q Especial attention given to CUTTING CHILDREN'S AND LA- j I)IJS UAlli. f ALL AND SEE BOONE, GENTS, And get a boon In a PAPER. HACK ACHE IS AT Benson's Capcinc ITIS TUB 0.LY KNOWN REMEDY THAT Vi:Vi:it FAILS. Over 2000 Druggists have signed a are in every way superior to the ordinary slow-acting Porous Plasters used for this purpose. SEABLKV A JOII.V.SO.V, Pharmaceutical Chemist, X. Y. IUIC:K 25 CTH. ECHGLSVSHEPARD l CO. Battle CreelfficlL , r A Xataali.h ORICINAL AND ONLY CENUINE JZQ? u a3- HWJl U H H ?! t III ' H U -il B iV'--S"Jv-eiy.r ' ? .1 f!f I :;t.T PT"II i.'RI.T! WOndtrtutl nmU, nitx l than or.r half th usual Kmr an l It. Mti; I A M I.K, :;; . I 1 ION, aui liTUAW.KIKMNU M'KA M-EiMilNKS with pH:ial Utuiur r,r. -. t'riiitr, Ttt Kti-nnv, aud lWaatT catircty unkuwn im oth.-r i,iakfi. Strim rower 4ulht"i ana ; J'owrr ''';; tcist" t- aur oiiri of Heimratara, from a to 12 hor-jowc r ; ako t nt.fl lui proved Uuuiitl llorx-'o i 1 -irw f lropcrfrni ami Cttttlanoaa Itaalnc tT b-u". withoat fthange f Dame, loctkun. u ntttit, furuiaea a tr-f.tf aiiaram-.- frr uicrtor foola autl tiouoraniw UtaUug. " f ilTIrt W I Tnc OB'tfrru' njew and wiularltT af '''.J 1 tUii I oiir ViaTia Machinery baa drirea thr . to tai wall ; hence rariuu makers are now titr-n -i- t build aiitl paUa oG iiiferior and mof;rl linlta;i.u. BE MOT DECEIVED V -meh CTprrlmenta! and worth lei machtnerr. If tai Km t all. rt tl M-UUI1ML" mJ iko EM lNK C'rror rull nartlr-oltipw eau on oar dnWi. or write io m for llltt-itraU-4 Circalaxa, wtika we mail free. Addrent vrnTrnra errr'niTiTk . n ... n . ... . on r.ra-pjj a iU., oaiut creeKi mien. HamLL " THE KAEYILLE STOCK FARM," AT AM.IO.V, BOONE COUNTY, Nlill., J". ID. "VISTZDOZERJIfcT, Proper. ESSEX SWINE. V linvo nnir a vprv lioii lot rf nifrs. of all aires and from six lll!nrt lnirmf nf Innt ? w cau thus nuite pigs forLrfCiliii. and warrant IKICE OF One to two months old $15 each, or ?i5 per nr : Five " seven " " S.'! " " .V5 - lBKff AMIS SMOSS 31 A1TUF IB. " I! If g Mi l';, g. H Sj S3 tei'.W I i is II a w$ -r I ME 3 w fW co I I nil i I t s Ul 1; K s 2 IO I! -il i Sherwood Keeps the Biggest Line of Boots & Shoos In Cass County. 2tly waai una 617 St. Charles Street. SU Lonia.Mo. a t.miii..f..lii.ir.rtd atedirat Cil'ee. hae been lonffeT mxajed in the apeeial tnatmrni of all VrD?real. Sexual and Chronic i.eifcaiie. than .n other Fhyii lao ini. Louia. city D per .how.and ailoij n-aiocHU know. R.mio or Kur.tura. !1 Urinary D:ae)asa Ana Syphilitic or Jklei curlal A ff actions of the Throat Bkln or Bones, are ttraied with unparalleled .uooee., latcit aelMil.nc priaciplrs. Safely. rieately. Spermatorrhea, boxual IXtility and I m po tency, ai the reeult of belf-Abuee in youth, kxu.1 -ceeae. in luaturer year., or other eauara, and tthlrh produc. eonieot the following effect.: nervousm-ae. aeniinal emit .ions, eebility, dimness of .ifEliU defective memory, pimple, on the face, physical decay, avcrion to eocirty it fcnialea, eootu.ioa of Idcae, )o of acaual powtr. etc., rendering marriaeo improper or unnrppy. are permane fitly cured. Conaultaliou at office, or by mail free, and invited, When it ia incuneerkiit to iit the city lor trratmrut, Dedieiues can be arnt br mail or exnrri. every where, tur abteeaaee guaranteed, where doubt ex i.trft is frankly stated tjernia, f t5ts. 2 C::cp3 ti Tiz t. pSSIs. I GUBDE. ..esauccloib and piU Mndinic. enied fcr 60c. In ivvat&t7 er rurrearT. Over flftv wondcrftil Dn nirtum. trnelo hfr; erliciee on the f'liwf! u,--tt whumajr jrtarry, who not, whY. WanHfK-U. W,n nrnnxl, Pliyairal oeeaj. vt no imouki nutrry ; c w .:ir atto nnyitrM wiay we iiMireeied. The fhy utfT : ! irMluctMn, and many more. Thoe nsmftl or ru:' jt.atttiK marrtatte anoula read it. then krpl unti-r k a kfjr. I'opular erf: two, aame aa a bo re, but parnr r.vr. '. pngra. rtm. tr mail. in menfT or iH.'tir,r. t 'r--p-w- t--mi t (n Afitfrii'i. FRESGR il i it.rxi CM (aWi aM Veaf eaT ISN W aE7r". -f V' T" for the peeriy cure of ymial Trkn. !t Mio'4. f ltlas. Avcraton U KiK-irie. I -("- -t !ti.. . r- BAST'S n.D.NO SAW MACHINE -3a- The BEST TUU U O u . ur.ii naw n .im loe. la auy I I" poaition. Thousand, ta a R I U . n th. work.. Send for Circular, aad rricea. :NTS WANTED. Atia reus .U. C. t. Louis, Ale QCE HERE! S5 ia EOOSS fef SS ci. T.". 10 .uakle o.t ijI"- SeereU ( Kl .. r-. T t7. ni.i., i kuhbrr ii. Peuil : It aae Caret. i-e.T .i .hreu ... f.per ; I I that f.a.y Foem. aad Ch.aefe Secret lor lnemt Itaem. tif swney aeiiiini - cr, , Au sut for Fifty Cent. Ma.i ukea. AdJreai. H &af',l'3 .1 1 1? uW W 9 S O.VC'C Cl'Ki:i) I.V Porous Plasters. paper stating that Physicians sag they Threshing Machinery aad Portabl and Traction Engines. TfTK STDAlil ot eicclleno throughout Grain- MTCI!LEt9 tor Orln.flTlng, Tliuo ft Ut, Perfect CVmnluic. t:ttnit a-nd Thorvuyh Work. IM OUrAUABU In VuaUty ef VmrM, Permction f l'AJ-1, Thurugh M orknuuullip, 1,'ityuHi Muih Klitl MAICVKI.OUH Ibr vastly $vpfiar w.ik In '1 I U of Cfnio.Mi! umvrallp knows a the uly fu.-ct lul lurUcr im Vlax. Tinmlhr. CIuvm ki.i1 Kit alIi,.. Kn.. eflrr' , ' eveiy pig pure Kst'x. or no s:ilo. ESSEN. II;S. two to three mont'is oM $20 ea Voung Sows bred t io to fG;. each, or $35 per pr; ACTORY. t;QY FAMILY SOAP MAKER: 03 PER CENT. PURE. (Patented.) FINELY POWDE1ZED. mcni.T rm fitted. Tiio .trori!ret and parrot ty mulo. TO maUe i-oiiiiO-n f tho l Bt l'urf uuicd llitrd Soap lit liiiuula vifhriitt boilinff 'i l-p t-t wnli r-anftrncr ii.iift. 'J ho lnt .iiinfrtiint. 'J'hrt fnllowini aro nia rf the nlrnnnffa nbtuiiiud by Uiuajf Lewis' 86 I'cr CuiL J owJcroJ r lrt. It la parked n an Iron rnn wf t b ta nlill or rnmrivak'lo lid, easily Ukr-n off :r mlleavinirtueciMiui-xiofioi.Mirej ly aavimr tho tnnii.'. siiwiyttiuu. w V -.danger (from Dyiiirf imrt;cij. aa fjrTwuii oMier Lyon, which. lJiiif a-ill I ill tho curia. Iiiiifa i tiroUra Willi a huuxuer Ui giA tho Lyo out. Kcronil. Tt rx!njr a ne UJpiiirilrr, you nn ram iha ' - A fi'l an. I i-our out ail t): n- j U tnu, beuirf always rcauy fur ; . Tnlrd. A tcaT nni or morn ra:i no '' nKd,a il water-wrftijulii. TiiWiii(r, a 4 t t anrl tl U1 rt,imel to the ran. aud thereby aavo Uie lalaiu of C 'Ul-iit With othorLye ail nu'st Ik lj..lv.-.t at once aivl used m a t. tujio, or the) j atrvnirtn is pour. TWte I-'..., r f 1, . A liaohltr euWu. Prv. fnni .11 aUuHratlO' a. Fifth. The brt Honp ran 1 Luio In fnna Ua to twouty minute, with UiU I.va. Kijtth. No failure i w'lilo In Tr.r.Vtnsr Roara with th:. Ijra wheu the airuyia tutciiuut iriij wxh foUowetT. Hryrnlb. One) can cf tbi. Pow-lcnl I.i it equal Ui twouty pounJa cf btl kii or WacL;.v bixia. Klhth. One can of thia T.ye H1 n-wr.,;y , Kuii1 luoroof sreane tbjn t:iv tirc jiiti :'.'l.1 , Ball Potauh.or P.!'.i-ii., t. Ninth. Thia Lye Im Si ix cui-t I . -r t -u any othi r I.yo or Toto h. Tenth. One Ut two V zcjKinu! v ;.J . a tut of the hardcHt vatt-r. Elerenth. Odo tu-rtoon'i ! vV.: t . ck-aiim binka, Drtini. i r Invaluable for kiliir. I.v.r'i, V . .J. Iht) beat axucU lor aL. u . .. kak urxcnxatD ovt.t r- (J.T.Lewis & K rr-For .ale bv E. O. P0VEV . POX. CUTH- Al AN & WcKliAC'H. !". S. WUITK, and W. H.' EAKEK & CO, aud dealer, lu ceneial i m I r f a- A i )