THE PHILOSOPHY OF
ULCUS.
BY I. B. CnURCII.
An tssay read before t?ie Teacher's Con
vention at Plattsmouth, July 17th,
1877.
Some one has thoughtf ully remarked
"Life is at bottom so fearfully earnest
that wo could not possibly endure it
but for the blending of the pathetic
and the comic." Experience proves
this. One can find a source of allevia
tion in his sense of the ridiculous. He
can derive benefit from the blending of
the pathetic and comic. This has sus
tained many writers, while it has fas
cinated many readers. The success of
Chas. Dicken3 was owing to these blend
ed views of the pathetic and comic.
You may see the drollery and the
sadness of Goldsmith's life reflected in
his pages.
Are we smiling or sighing, or both,
when we hear a poor fellow exclaim:
"I am going to try literature; if that
doesn't succeed I'll turn preacher, and
if that fails IH drown myself." "Such
is life," we say.' "Laughter holding
his sides." and grief bowing his head,
strut and fret together.
Newspaper men sometimes have the
pathetic and the droll brought before
them although they may not compre
hend it. A young lady once entered
the sanctum of an editor and unfolded
her manuscript. It was a piece of po
etry containing 102 verses, which she
wished to have published. It ran some
thing after this style:
T'was on a summer's evening
A little while ago,
Tbat Sarah Jane Sylvester
Stood waiting for her beau.
She was a rustic maiden
Of nearly seventeen.
Her bands were plump and rosy
Her face looked rather green.
Could anything be more comical?
Yet she was the very picture of abject
sorrow. It seemed as if her very ex
istence depended on the publication of
those 102 verses. You may safely im
agine that the editor was non-plussed.
There is an unusual blending of the
pathetic and the comic in these words
of an old man who committed suicide
the other day. He said, "I am going
to leave this cruel and wicked compa
ny, and my old dog and I are going to
gether. Bury us in one hole on the top
of the bluff, between the two trees. I
want God and all to forgive me. Put
a board over me and my old dog with
tliis inscription."
"Poor old Jack ! here he lies ;
Nobody laughs and nobody cries.
Where he's gone, and how he fares,
Nobody knows and nobody cares."
In this example the absurd is subor
dinate, pathos is dominant, but it is
their blending that produces the effect.
Here is a capital illustration of the
philosophy of the ridiculous. It may
l e regarded as the experience of a civ
ilized gentleman, cast upon a desolate
island. He says: "After having walk
ed about eleven hours without having
tracked the print of a human foot, to
my great astonishment and delight, I
saw a man hanging on a gibbet. My
pleasure at the cheering sight was in
expressible, for it convinced me that I
was in a civilized country."
It would be difficult to form a para
graph more fruitful in humorous pa-
ineuc suggestions, jl lie longer you
dwell upon it the more suggestive it
becomes.
Is there a more sorrowful spectacle
than a drunken man? and yet who can
help laughing at him? We smile and
sigh alternately. We are equally dis
gusted and amused.
It is generally the case that those who
see the comical side of the spectacle
will be the first to appreciate the pa
thetic side.
Not long ago I saw a most fastidi
ously gotten up fellow creature step
off the Brownville sidewalk. Many
smiled some laughed outright. I may
have laughed at all events I smiled
not maliciously, I hope, but discourte
ously I fear; for as the disfigured dan
dy scrambled to iiis feet he looked dag
gers at me, and exclaimed, ""What the
deuce is it your business?" It was
none of my business. We are amused
at anybody who tumbles in the street,
unless it is one's own suit of clothes
that docs the tumbling, then we do not
do the laughing.
All the greater do we laugh if the
"anybody" is a somebody, a Governor,
or person of high rank. AVLy? Be
cause of the sudden bringing together
of the pathetic and comic, rendered
more extreme by the rank of the indi
vidual. The philosophy of the thing
is the philosophy of the ridiculous.
I have a weakness for the negro min
strels. They understand the art of
blending the pathetic and the comic.
Consciously or unconsciously they
are working out the philosophy of the
ridiculous. It i3 wonderful how one of
their comic song3 can make the eyes
run one moment with the tears of jo
cund mirth, and a pathetic song the
next moment make them glisten with
the "beads of sorrow."
- i ,. ...
-ow uie question i wisn to ask is,
should this sense of the comic be sup
.
presseu, or counted unbecoming in a
christian? Any way I doubt if we can
rid ourselves of it without harming
our ideas of pathos and pity. I can
conceive of nothing more irreverent or
unnatural than the attempt which
some make to steel themselves against
this comical side of human life. The
sense of the grotesque was put into
man by the maker of man, and is not
to be cut out of him by the knife of re
ligious severity, or kicked out of him
by the boot of coercive Christianity.
A volume might be written on the
advantages to be derived from this eye
to the absurd. There was once a man
who was about to Oght a duel, and he
went to it under an umbrella, his sec
onds remonstrated, but he declared he
would rather get killed than not. Ilia
philosophy was successful, for the ab
surdity of the thing was made so ap
parent that the duel was ended.
If you once master this philosophy
of the ridiculous you will find it of
constant application. You are invul-
EfcraMe to a bore, if you arp armwl with
THE EIDIC- this philosophy. Let him come when
he will, or be hLj errand what it may,
you are more than a match for him.
Can anything be more humiliating than
the consciousness of beins: beaten by a
bore? How irritating he look3 as he
leaves your presence. You can be sav
ed this humiliation by using your foe
instead of allowing him to use you. Let
him see that you appreciate him as a
joke and he will let you alone. But if
you take to him seriouslv, as he feels,
he will have the advantage of you
Suppose a lady, or say a lady-like per
son in a car hands vou her dear little
angel to hold while she just steps out
to tret a little something to eat, and
suppose the train rolls on before the
lady returns. Nov then you are sold
You a spruce young bachelor, sitting
in a railway car with a baby in your
arms. How comical, yet how pathetic!
The infant's destiny is in your hands,
or rather arms. You are its only "nat
ural protector." Think of the solemn
ity of your situation. Under these
perplexing circumstances I commend
to you the philosophy of the ridiculous
I have no experience in this direo
tion, out it seems to me that tor con
nubial quarrels there is no more effec
tual remedy than to realize their ab
surdity. If a quarrelsome pair of mar
ried people could only see themselves
as others see them they would look so
ludicrous that they would be willing
to escape their misery. I once boarded
in a highly educated family that were
continually given to quarreling. The
female portion of the family would
poutingly eat their breakfast in one
room, while the male portion ate theirs
in another, and as I was considered a
privileged character, I could eat with
either outfit. But the absurdity of the
thing often forced itself upon me, and
I only wished that they were masters
of the philosophy of the ridiculous,
You see in these quarrels neither par
ty can gain a victory, because neither
army can get away. The parties to
matrimony take each other "for better
or for worse," and a victory as well as
a defeat is equally shared. In the very
nature of things, matrimony is itself a
drawn battle. All their warfare is ex
ceedingly grotesque therefore, and all
they have to do is to comprehend the
grotesqueness.
If we are masters of the philosophy
oi tne riaicuious wo learn to nave a
sort of affectionate fellow feelincr for
those who are scolded for their vanity
Thi3 scramble for social position, this
waste of time and money for honor,
place and power it seems ridiculous !
Yet is it noi a necessity as well ? Is
vanity to be taken away from those
who have nothing else to lean upon?
It is said to the overdressed, "see how
plainly the President's wife dresses?"
""".Veil if we were Presidents wives" our
ladies may reply, "we cculd also dress
plainly, but what we lack in position
we must make up in dress." If we are
high in authority we do not need the
badge of it. The general takes pride
in going without his emblems, but the
new lieutenant must wear his. There
is just as much vanity in showingly re
nouncing titles as in showinglj display
ing them.
The pathetic and the comic must be
pretty well balanced to be in healthful
play. If we are overstocked with pa
thos we are soft, if we have too much
humor we are flippant. But it is the
blending of the two that makes us
strong, prompt and ready.
Fred, border's Implement Emporium
THIRD STREET, NORTH OF MAIN,
half-breed out there learned her to
whistle. She left Omaha whistling
"Going Home to Dixie," and arrived
in Toledo whistling "No place like
Home." Her mother was shocked, her
father displeased and her sisters sorry;
but she continued to whistle in spite
of all tbat was said and done. She
whistled to strange dogs, until they
houled in dismay, and she whistled to '
stranke boys until they threw brick
bats at the housa. She lived only two
years after becoming an accomplished is the place to buy every kind of Agricultural Implement.
whistler. She was one evening hold
ing four hair-pins and two buttons in
her mouth, to make her whistle sound
like a canary's note, and somehow they
were sucked into her wind pipe, and
produced death. Bullets sometimes
whistle over the cemetery in which
she lies, but you can't stop bullets irom
whistling.
IF
So
.wffliinp
has come home,
A School Decision.
It seems from a decision recently
made in the New York courts that pa
rents, and children too, have some
rights which Schools Boards and Trus
tees are bound to respect. The case in
which the decision referred to was
rendered arose from the determination
of a father at Riverhead, Long Island,
that his son, a pupil of the Union
Free School in that town, should not
be compelled to declaim. The son,
having been instructed by his father
refused to comply with the order of his
teacher and was thereupon expelled.
The Board of Education, when applied
to, approved the expulsion, whereupon
the father brought suit against the
Board and the case was tried before
Justice Pratt, of the Supreme Court,
and a jury. In charging the jury, the
Court took the ground that the parent,
knowing the temperment and capacity
of the child, had the undoubted right
to prescribe what he should and what
he should not study, so long as he did
not interfere with the statuary list.
In conclusion, he said: "Where there
is an irreconcilable difference of opin
ion between the teacher or the Board
of Trustees and the parent, in regard
to a study which is not included among
those that the Trustees are empower
ed to prescribe, the will of the parent
must control. I think that the law has
not taken away the natural right of the
parent to control the education of the
child in that regard. When the teach
er or Trustee undertake to say that a
child shall pursue a particidar study
which is not included in the statuary
list of studies, I think they exceed
their authority. And when that is
made the basis of an attempt to deprive
the child of its right to attend school
and enjoy the benefits which arise
from the laying of a common school
burden upon the community, I hold
that they are liable technically liable
for the act." The damages found
by the the jury were merely nominal,
the plaintiff expressly waiving any
claim to real damages, his purpose be
ing to get a decision on the question of
law. Detroit Free Press.
SULKY GANG PLOW, of the Chicago Plow Co.; STANDARD NEW HI
DINGS CULTIVATOR, of Rockford, III.; NEW MONITOR,
Check Row) CORN PLANTER; CHAMPION
and other CELEBRATED HARROWS
Harris am audi 'Folia.' Wagon,
SINGLE and COMBINED REAPERS and MOWERS,
(New Manny, Champion, and others.)
WOODS' REAPER, MOWER, AND HARVESTER,
(with Self-Binding attachment.)
THE VIBRATOR THRESHING MACHINE, Nicholls, Sheppard & Co.
Satisfaction Guaranteed or no Sale.
And he has brought the finest line of Dress Goods, Staple
Goods, Fancy Goods and Notions you ever saw.
ay iBtlBiiflgwf grcerie by tine acie9
l5t aiaal lnes till yoia caia9A iret
Iflats and caps ttill yon
huy.
Spring and Summer Goods eyer and ever so cheap.
Now isyour chanco bound to sell-and undersell anybody. Hurry up. I want to go East again next month.
Office in J. V. TFeckbach's Store, corne.
FItED. G ORDER,
train and Third Streets.
B BY THE BEST!
"NEW'' AMERICAN
THE
szEfirnsra- machunte.
22
This Machine is Offered to the Public Upon
its Merits Alone.
Light and Still Running Qualities, and its Self-Threading Needle and
Self-Regulating Tensions, make it the Most Desirable Machine in the world.
FRANK CARRUTH.
AGENT, PLATTSMOUTH, NEBRASKA.
General Western Office
D. A. KENTON,
Manager,
2 Douglas Street, Omaha, 3Teb.
4ml
BOOT aitd SZE3ZOIE
Clippings.
A little while ago theie were two
Cornelius "Vanderbilts in New York,
one the railroad monarch, the other a
a well to do grain merchant. The
former died some months ago; the lat
ter was buried on the hist day of June.
Our Afton Letter.
Aftox, Neb., July 7, 1877.
Ed. Herald: Hot! hotter!! hot-
testll! 101 in the shade. 98 yester
day, 100 the day before. Corn grows
like mushroons. Potatoes were threaten
by bugs, but a little pans green settled
ed them. Frontier, Furnas and Gosper
Counties were visited by a severe hail
storm on the first ins't. Hail stones
fron the size of large buckshot to the
size of walnuts ragged in shape, caused
considerable damage in some localities.
Rye and bailey harvest has commenced,
yielding very good returns. Spring
grain will be a heavy crop.
E. S. Child.
"We hope we may be permitted to
say, without violating any of the fan
ciful American notions of gallantry to
ladies, that Miss "Gail Hamilton's"
civil-service diatribes are running to
drivel. Tribune. Our devil says, pro
fanely, its driv'el out of the Tribune.
The recent executions in Pennsylva
nia appear to have had no effect on the
"Molly Maguires" in the coal regions of
that state. Murders are committed dai
ly and the superintendents of the mines
have to be protected by a body guard
of armed men.
i
Whistling Girls.
I have known quite a number of
whistling girls, and eacli one came to
such a bad end, that I have a notion
to give you some particulars. There
is a law in China to punish any female
above six years old who whistles, and
there used to be a law in Scotland to
the same effect. Husbands have been
divorced from wives who whistled
around the house, young men have
broken engagements with young ladies
who whistled over the front gate; and
now let me tell you of the sad fate of
several whistling girls.
Betty Clare, of Chicago, didn't chew
gum, nor like molasses candy, but she
whistled . She whistled "Yankee Doo
dle" when she got out of bed in the
morning, and whistled "Nancy "White"
as she unlaced her shoes at night.
Her mother boxed her ears, her father
scolded, and her brothers made fun of
her, but Betty went on whistling bal
lads, and waltzes, and good old tunes.
Everybody predicted some dreadful'
fate, and at last it came. She had
opened her mouth one day for an extra
whistle, when a big beetle flew into
her throat and suffocated her. The
wind now whistles over her grave, but
it is all right for the wind to whistle.
Katie Handy, of Cincinnati, began
whistling when she was seven years
old, and at ten she could whistle fast
er and louder than a robin. Her moth
er was a widow and many a time and
oft did she warned the girl of the fate
In store for her. Katie would stop for
a day or two, but then the first thing
she knew she would find herself whis
tling "Shoo Fly" or "The girl.I left be
hind me." One day, when she was try
ing to.whistle louder than a locomotive
her mouth puckered up, and couldn't
be smoothed down again, and after a
day or two lockjaw set in, and she died
A factory whistle now whistles near
her grave, but that whistle's whistle is
all right.
Celeia Snow, of Toledo, lived with
her aunt in Om-b.i fnr a
A late order from the chief execu
tive prohibits persons holding offices
under the government from using their
positions as political levers. At last
advices the government employees
were serving their connections with
political committees, etc., by the hun
dred.
i - Tift V -. iffcy .-4..Hf
f;" ?l 1""" i
OW ft.'-Jl fz, Is-, i-t't: I
A Russian physician with an exten
sive reputation, and a jaw-breaking
name, has discovered a use for the
cockroach. He extracts from their
bodies a remedy for the cure of dropsy.
He is the man America needs. Let
him come across the water and try a
few experiments on the potato "bug "
G
"Would it not be a crood plan for the
Illinois Board of Agriculture to hurry
i up their premium list? It ouucht cer
tainly to be printed at least a week be
i fore the fair, else the gardners about
j Freeport will not know the exact size
of the pumpkin premium. Will not
the typos hurry up, get their ads. all
in, and give the people of the state the
premium list this year early in September?
OIY YOUR LETTERS
tJHR
Excelsior Copying Book, ij
Slade of Chemical Paper.
Quickly copies any writing WITHOUT Water,
I'KESS, or 15KUS1I. used at home, library or ot
flce. For Ladies wishing to retain copies of let
ters, every L-iisinecH man. clergymen, correspon
dents, travelers it is invaluable sells at sight.
Send S.'t.OO and we will semi a 3i0 page book,
letter size. BY MAI L paid to any address. We.
refer to anv Commercial Agency. Send stamp
for Agents Circular. KXCllL-HIOK i
'.. HO Dearborn Ht., Cliicago, 111.
5000 AWE.TS wanted. 4mti
Forest Tslp,
For Throat. Lungs. Asthma, and Kldaeya.
orest Tar Solution.
or Inhalation for Catarrh, Consumption,
Bronchitis, and Asthma.
GO TO THE
Herald Office
FOR TOUR
2SB
Lucy Stone thin r.s a few such inci
dents as the interview between Mayor
T: J -r ...
x i nice arm jirs. iivermore will open
the eyes of many woman to their pow
1 ...
ies poiiucal position. Trie men
with whom he associates and to whom
i i i i ,
jjb iuoh.3 lov vui.es sne says, do as a
rule, drink wine if they are rich, rum
and whiskey if they are poor, and ten
such voters outweigh, in Mr. Prince's
political estimation, all the women of
all the churches combined.
I will give to any clergyman in San
Francisco 81,000 in gold to substanti
ate that the death of Voltaira was not
as peaceful as the coming of dawn.
They say Tom Paine died in fear, in
agony, hearing devils rattle chain in
the other room, and that the Infinite
God went to work to frighten a dying
man. I will give a reward of $1,000
in gold to any-body who will substan
tiate the truth of that story. Bob Ix-
GERSOI.T..
Forest Tar Troches,
or Sore Throat, Hoarseness, Tickling Conga and
purifying the Breath.
Forest Tar Salve,
or Healing Indolent Sores, Ulcers, Cats, Bums,
and for Piles.
Forest Tar Soap,
or Chapped Hands, Salt Bhems, Bkia Disease,
the Toilet and Bath.
Forest Tar Inhalers,
or Inbsli ng for Catarrh, ConsumpUoB. Asthma.
For Sale by mil Dntffffiit.
MIKE SCHNELLBACHER,
B LA CKSJI1 TH
THE PARKER CUM,
SEND STAMP FOR CIRCULAB
PARKER BROS
WEST MERIDEN.CT.
0 HORSE SHOEING,
WAGON KEPAIEIXC.
All kinds of
FARM IMPLEMENTS
mended
Neatly & Promptly
i
Horse, Mule& Ox Shoeing.
In short, we'll shoe anything that has
lour feet, from a Zebra to a Giraffe.
Come and see us.
UEW SHOP.
on Fifth St.. between Main and Vine streets,
just across the corner frtm the "EW HKSALl)
OFricu. iom
Prices Reduced.
"The Family Favorite"
IMPROVED
New Model Machine.
IIBHT-RUKMIS3, HOISELESS,
Wo Qearo, No Cams, No Springs.
KEW 15D EIXG15I STILES OF W00DW0RL
By thft expiration of Patents tinder which we hav
besD paying royalties, we are enabled to mil oar Ma
chine at
Qreatly Reduced Prices,
and as low as those of any first-class machine.
SE3D FOR CIRCULARS AND PRICE USO.
SEWINQ HACHXXTX. CO,
203 Wi&ash Chicago, UL
roa SALE EI
GOODS SOLD WITHOUT ARBITRATION !
7 to SOX'S to 7, fast as you like, ana
TTIae cash is always connntefil mtt fop ttliere
Is an HButfies.Mailiosu at the
r fill Flfn IP IT) (1)11
ffffUFlP f
As it i3 cenerallv our custom to eivp you nnr nrirps fnr tmn.n tint
buy for your money, we will give you prices below which" wHl be lower tha eyiraioZTl Z
can anywhere m this City or State. We have the advantage of any merchant in this city-buyin ' Set f iom Z
manufacturers. We have opened a Wholestale Store in St. Joseph Mo., which will be attended by Mr. Solomon?
LOOK
20 yards prints for one dollar.
" " Brown and bleach muslin, one dollar,
12 " Blue and brown denims, one dollar.
10 " Bed ticking, one dollar.
" " Cheviot, one dollar.
" " Grass Cloth, one dollar.
Malt Shades, one dollar.
4 " Table Linen, one dollar.
12 " Crash Toweling, one dollar.
AT OUK PRICE LIST.
Summer Shawls, 75c up.
Handkerchiefs, 3 for 25c.
Ladies Silk Handkerchier, 35c each.
Ladies Hose, 3 pair for 25c.
Men's Socks 5c up.
Cuffs and Collars, 23c a set, and up.
Bed Spreads, one dollar up.
Corsets, good, 50c up.
As it is impossible to give the prices of our enormous
ID)s'e (n-oods QDepartmentt
Styles'11 nI'V State that " larSCSt fine3t StCk GVCr broueht t0 this city aml consisting of the followin new
Poplins, Double Silk Pongees Japanese Silks, Matelasse-
C X ll 7 f Slllliirro T r r -, A I: I " 1
wui " uruiiaumus, anu fercaies,
at prices ranging from 12 cts. up; also a fine line of HAMBURG EMBROIDERIES from 5 cents up.
and evefytSn belS?ntoIlIES t0 matCh "r LIXEX DRESS GOODS. A full assortment of BUNDLE PRINTS
-A. FIRST CLASS
Staple & Fancy Dry Goods Establishment.
We also keep a full line of
:eay-iiiae men anal E!y' CletlaisBs
w l J
' r hl we mm w ' la mm. a a s a. w w-m ii j im u mt m w m vr ii sr s m u . - m ir- u ui k m m m -
.t?.n a A tr -f i ... '
iiuai m.ou up ror wnoie suits. Jeans Joints from S1.00 nn. An nnPYPPllr..! lino hpyw rrnvrcitivfl --.rw.
fine White Shirts 31 up; Calico Shirts, 40 cts. up; Cheviot Shirts, 50 cts. up; Overalls. CO cts. upf Paper Collar 10c.'
MEN AND BOYS' HATS AND CAPS.
Hats 75c up; Clips, 10c up; Boots, 82 per pair up; Shoes. SI per pair up: TRUNKS and VALISES, a good as
sortment. Ue do not keep a little of everything, from an Axe Handle to a barrel of salt, but what v do carrv we
have in full and complete stock. JEWELRY, PLATED WARE, CLOCKS. TABLE and POCKET CUTLERY, etc.
i
was
asno
We would inform the ladies of Plattsmouth and vicinity that we are in receipt of the the finest
Pattern Heads and Bonnets Direct from Paris.
W e have an Accomplished, Fashionble Lady Trimmer who understands the business thoroughly and can svit all your
tastes; a so a lull line of SILK TRIMMINGS, Ribbons, Flowers and Ornaments. Sash Ribbons from 50c up; Ladies)
Jiimmed ilats,Sl and un. We have a large and complete stock Canvass, Perforated Card Board, Zephyra, Zephyr
Needles, Mottoes, and Silk Floss of all shades.
CARPETS.
An irrfmense stock of Carpets, Oil Cloths. Rugs and Mats. Hemp Carpets 25c per yard : Ingrain CarpeK &nc
per yard. Standard Carpet Chain, 5 lb bundles only $1.25.
,,,.e Iiav6 also for the accommodation of our friends, added to our already extensive assortment a large stock of
Oil H indow Shades in all colors. Lace Window Curtains 25 cts per yard.
We present our annual price list satisfied that our customers will see that we can do better for them than ever
beforeand thankful for past patronage we most respectfully ask a continuance of the same.
Plattsmouth, Nebraska, March 22d, 1877, SOL03ION tC- NATHAN.
Offi
WlP-I peter merges, n jf&I
THE LARGEST AND BEST SELECTED STOCK OF
BO
mm
cTTi
Oil
including the greatest variety of beautif"! colored shoes for
children ever brought to this market. To be closed out at
I shall continue to keep the best of workmen in my man
ufacturing department.
PETER MERGES.
2