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About Nebraska herald. (Plattsmouth, N.T. [Neb.]) 1865-1882 | View Entire Issue (June 7, 1877)
' T X - 4 THE HERALD. How Slie Too Us! II im. John Sauecrip's wife went to bed Saturday night with her mind made to to fool the old man the next d;iy or die in the attempt. In previous years sh had fonnd John impervious to jokes of all kinds, and she realized the augean task before her. With her mind full of her pelf imposed task sh went to sleep. At daylight she awoke and at once began to, operate. Her f ietira was lying with his back to her apparently in a sound sleep". She pok him vigorously in the ribs with her sharp elbow and clawed hi3 shins with her toe nails, preparatory to starling him with a half whispered warning. "John, oh, John there's some one ringing the door-bell. "Let 'em ring," was the sleepy re sponse. "Rut, John maybe's it's the man on the next square who owes you that 100 came to pay ycu. "No 'taint neither," said John with a yawn. "But you don't know, and it may be that very man." "I guess not for he's buried; died last week. Beside-, old woman, your ears deceive you. I to k the boll-knob off last week to fool April-foolers. Heavens, what a mess she made of it to begin with! But when the old man rooled out of bed, yawned and picked up his pants she rammed the sheet into her mouth to plug up her laugh ter. "Oh. Jiminy won't he tumble when he put3 his feet into them pants and finds the legs sewed up,"- said she to herself. Judge her rage when the provoking brute iuocently carried the blockaded breeches to the wardrobe and inquir ed: "Xancy.where's them chocko'ate col ored pants I had on last week! "1'ut on the ones you have in your hand John; What's the matter ith them?' . "I burst a button off yesterday, and tliey need mending." At breakfast she poured out a nice eup of coffee for him and sweetened it with two spoo fuls of salt. "You needn't give me any coffee,' he said. "Keep that yourself." "Why John what's the matter? This is the first time since we were married you refused coffee. "The blamed stuff has made rne ner vous lately; and as this is the first of the month, i thought I'd break off and only drink it for supper. You keep that yourself." When he came home to dinner she had prepared him a neatly directed en velop with a sheet of blauk paper en closed within. He eyed it suspiciously and, throwing it into the fire said: "I know that handwriting. It'a from that crazy lunatic who wants me to vote for him to-morrow. So much for his letter. In tho evening she disguised herself iu one of her husbands old suits and tamo to the door to beg for charity. "Pleases give me a nickel to buy some 1 a ead. "(Jet ont or I'll Give you a nickel with re y boot.' "But, sir, please consider. I am starving." "The devil you are! Xow I'll bet j ov 6-30 against the suit of cloths you wear that you are an impostcr." "But, sir " "If I were to search you now I shouldn't be surprised to find you lead ed with wealth. For two cents I would see." "For heaven's sake " "Xow none of your soft soap on me. 1 don't lwlieve in beggars. Here, you policeman, take this infernal imposter to tho station house." Just as tho pge'.er grabbed the sup posed beggar bv the back of t lie neck a shrill voice yelled. "John! John! you wouldn't send your wife to the station house, would vou V' -The I wouldn't! was the cool Anybody who lies to me response. about my door-bell, sews up my trows ers, puts salt in my coffee, writes me anonymous notes and st als mjr clothes ought to be sent to penetentiary for life. "But how do you know " "If you women wouldn't talk in your sleep you might keep a secret onto in a wailo. Mrs. Sanseripc says that hereafter when she attempts an April-fool joke she intends to sit up all night pre vious. Cincinnati.! Enquirer. Kidg William':; 31 arc Tim Emperor William's favorite autre, which he rodo at the battle of SaJower, died a short time ago, and in connection with the event this story is related: During the battle, the King, accompanied by Prince Bismarck, repeatedly placed himself in great dan gerfiom the shells whizzing arouud. in vai:i Prince Bismarck urged his King not to expose himself so. "But," relates the Prince, "when his Majesty bad ordered the cavalry to advance at Bipa. and the shells came thicker than ever, I ventured to expostulate afresh, ap.d said, "If your Majesty has no pity for yourself, at any rato have some for joar un-.ster, fur whom your faith ful people will hold you responsible.' Iho King then gave hu hand, and re plied. 'Well. Bismarck, now let us ride en.' So baying, his Majesty turned and cantered away a; slowly as though riding aiong thv- Linden. That m-ile me wild, and riding up behhil him I gave Miss Sadowa a sly kick that con siderably hurried her movements. The King looked around surprised, and I fancy had slight susplciaii of the truth but he said nothing." Post. We degrade life by our follies and vices, and then complain that the un happine?.swhicTi Is" ouly hir aoc-om'-S-iaixaent i iiiierea in the one s tit u tion of thir.. Trying to be better. One of the most encouraging thoughts warranted by the Scriptures, is that CJod is never nearer to one than when he stands dissatisfied witli himself his and manner of life, and long.3 to be bet ter when the mind is about to make a needed resolution. God invariably draws nigh to help it. B -cause you have broken one resolution, never imagine that lie will not assist you to keep another, many with greater wisdom and a more determined pur pose. Xothing good in man ever es capes the notice of God. His observa tion is like a gardener's. There is not a bud of promise that opens iu your soul, there is not an odor that can be added to the fragrance of your lives, that he does not detect and rejoice in it. Whatever beautifies you glorifies him, He delights in your development, and smiles on your every effort in that direction. God is always ready to give a man one more change. The world is hard and smiting in its judments, and swift as lightning in its censure: and its condemnations till on a man, as a huge beam of timber falls on the body crushing, it down to the ground and holding it there; but God is slow to wrath, full of forbearance and tender mercier. He prunes away the dead and soggy brandies. He transplants and grafts; but He never cuts a tree of productive nature down. After three years of barrenness, the tree has yet one more year of grace, and the last year is fuller of care and nurture and enticement to fruitfulness, than all the others. lie seeks to encourage man to rene w ed spiritual effort and inspire him ever with hope to try again. Why. with hope? Because no nwn ever attempts anything without hope. There is not the least element of heavenly progress in despair, and the first thing the Spir it of God seeks to stir in the soul is a great expectation of a coming good. It point3 all men to lives nobler than they have thus far lived, to a moral el "evation of feeling higher than they have thus far epxerienced, to sympa thies for man wider, deeper more gen erous than any they have thu3 far felt to a consecration of all their pow ers to God's service, and to an hour at last of spiritual victory and supreme reward. "The Lord is nigh unto all them that call upon him." Golden Hide. The Sabbath. The Sabbath gives us a new start in our life's journey. It counteracts the gravitation of sin and sense and mam mon, and sends us forth again with new enthusiasm, thanking God that we are training for something nobler than this earth can give. We are in our lives like a school-boy learning to write, and every week is a page in our copy-book. On the first line the Lord Jesus has set before us his own beauti ful example, and we start out to imi tate it. But as we go down line after line, we too largely lose sight of that which he has written, ami when we get to the bottom it is all irregular and blotted, and the page i blistered with our tears of regret. Then comes the Lord's day again ; and Jesus, speaking to us words of cheer, turns over the page and takes the pen once more, giv ing us another pattern, and we are com forted and encouraged. So we try again. Thus page after page is cover ed. It is poor work enough, but the penmanship improves a little every time, and it is much bett Gl ft t the end of the book than .at the beginning, for at the bottom of the last page the Mas ter writes, "Well done." Christian Weekly. Shadows. Who among Christ's followers can say that religion always brings sun shine ? Shadows are necessary ; in fact, are ordained by an all-wise Providence for our good to try our faith in Him, who has promised his holy word to fail us not if we but trust in Him. The language of our hearts should ever be come calm, come storms: "On Thee I will rely, on Thee my heait is fixed; comfort me, O Lord, by Thy presence, and Thy name shall have the glory." God sends trials that we may ask Him for comfort :.n l support. He is willing to grant us everything that is for our good, and shall wc not trust him even when shadows intermingle with joys, in this our earthly pilgrim age toward that belter country to which all are hastening? Xone but have known those who, though passing fiery flames of sorrow, still seem borne on the waves of pence, asking for noth ing less enduring for Christ's sake. Then let the trouble come; let the sea of this life bear its share of storms, it's shipwrecks of blight hopes, if only the Lord wills, all i-i.safe Christian Work er. ' Heavers. York county beavers are sagacious animals. A man from Naekawick. hunting beaver, recently came upon a lagoon which showed marks of hav ing been lately dammed up by those in dustrious creatures. Leaving his axe near a beaver house, the trapper pro ceeded lo explore the region round about, no axe was to be found. This mysterious disappearance puzzled him, but his astonishment turned into posi tive alarm when, going to the foot of a large juniper hie, no traces could le. found of his amp keltle and provis ions. Paint from hunger and fatigue, he found his way to the edge of the Imd, where a small black object glid ed over the surface of the water attrac ted his attention. Closer inspection revealed a hngo beaver swimming off with my camp kettle iu his mouth. The disgusted trapper left the fated spot, minus axe, kettle and a good din- ner. carried off by the beavcis. Wheth- ! er the beavers sunk the axe in the mid- die of the pond or conveyed it to a place of safety Is, of course, unknown ; j but from the method of their opera-! tiom he firmly believed that they made ! j sure of the axe first:, knowing that it' j was the instrument with which be de- j 1 signed destroy tir hcaifs. 1 A Curious Prophecy. Just before the defeat of Mr. Gree ley for Presidency, several gentlemen were congregated on a piazza at Xcw port. Among them was Chief Justice Chase. Another was one of the first conversationalists in the world. The latter repeated not an anecdote, but a prophecy, which had been made by a hermit in Bavaria many years before; and this prophecy was not only deliv ered, but printed by a number of the Allgemeine Zeitungof about 1837. The Austro Prussian war was correctly predicted, as well as tho Franco-Prussian war and the taking of Taris. Xow for the future. In 187G-7 the Pope is to die, which will cause a gen eral European war. Xext France and Prussia are to have another conflict. France will be defeated and Paris tak en for the second time. There will be a partition of France. The Iberian powers (Spain and Portugal) are to have a large share, as also Itally. Bel. gium gets the northern part. Holland is ceded to Prusia. All that will re main of France will be old "He de France," of which Paris is the capital. These results have been obtained, there will be a general acknowledgment of the folly and futility of excessive ar maments. All the powers will agree to disarm. .Swords will bo beaten into plowshares. The hermit's prophecies for ISoG, 18 70 were fulfilled. It seems as though the rest might be. The Pope is in bad health. The chances of a general war growing out of the Eastern question is excellent. Should France think the moment favorable to attack Prus sia, and be defeated, the conqueror would show no mercy. France would Le rendered harmless, and her territory divided. The partition of Bepublican France is the dream of the Prussian "Junker Party." The general reduc tion of armies is less probable. It is easier to change the map of Europe than human nature. Evening Journal. A Fours-mile Bare with a Pish. Mt. rieajaut (hi.) Joun;:l.l Fitzy Dougherty is the boss on fish. Last Monday night while fishing at Oakland, something he didn't know what, took h ld of his hook. It gave a terrible pull. It "yanked" Fitzy from his place on the bank, and started to ward Webster's Mills, dragging the boy along with him. He had no time to call on his comrades for assistance for this something was carry ing him down the river at the rate of twelve knots an hour. lie stuck to it for four miles when the monster that was hauling him let up, and near Websters by the assistance of some parties who were fishing, he succeeded in landing a catfish weighing thirty-six pounds its length was four feet and across its head it measured ten inches. The North Pole. Is there an open Polar sea? the North pole surrounded an imdenetrable barrier Is by- of ice? These questions are being earnestly dimss.d by the geographers and explorers. One fellow of tho Roy al Geographical Society, James Lament wrifes to the London Times a letter in which he thus concludes; "I beg to express my firm belief, founded on all I have seen, on all I have heard, and on all I have read that all around tho North Pole, as around the South Pole, there lies an eternal mass of ice a thousand miles in diametor, and perhaps miles thick in the center. And further I do not believe that either ship, sledge man, beast, bird or balloon will ever get across it." The editor of a county pnpoi wrote ene evening: "To-day is the anniver sary cf the death of Louis rhilipps." When the printer's proof c.ime up the name read, "Sam Phillips." The edi tor wrote on th"i margin, "Who the duce is Sam Phi-ippsV" Xext morn ing the article read: "To-day is the an niversary of the death of Sam Philipps. Who the duce is Sam Philipps ?" A Texas stockman recently sold to parties in southwestern Kansas -l'J.000 head of cattle and 2,00'J hoises for llo in 000 silver. Vermont justice is peculiar in some respects. The government has pardon ed one Ilobbs of St. JohnsLury, who had been some months in jail because he couldn't pay a line for drunkenness; and it is said that under the present laws there is no way by which a man unable to pay a line for diunk-umss can escape imprisonment for life ex cept through the pardon of tiie Execu tive. A circus performer, who had daily permitted himself to be boosted out ol a cann n by a light diseh irge, was shot through a n-lting and against a pos. by an "overload of powder, in Friend ship, X. Y. He was badly hurt and i has gien up such exploits. An inventor proposocs a vessel that will not be affected by waves at sea. A hollow body is to be submuignl sev eral yards below the surface of the water, and above the surface, suppor ted by strong posts, is to be the part of the vessel for passengers. The propel ling machine is to be in the submerg ed portion. Be'-enlJy Mr. Millais, while engaged in painting a mountain torrent in Scotland a landscape since sold for thrte thousand. gauK-ai -v, ;-. 5 so absorb- e Ul i,js A0rk as to be unmindful of the sudden rise of the water, and had bearly time to escape by climbing some precipitous rucks. u.'--r.-.L x It is easy enough to play the monkey lllt io ay well, is the most difficult o I rofc-Jouc. Fred. Gorder's Implement Emporium THIRD KTREKT, SOUTH OF MAIN, Is the place to buy every kind of Agricultural Implement. SULKY GANG PLOW, of the Chimyo Plow Co.; STANDARD NEW liT DINti CULTIVATOR, of llocJiford, III.; NEW MONITOR, Check Row) CORN PLANTER; CHAMPION and other CELEBRATED HARROWS u;ari:mQiil and 'PqIM1 Wagons:, SINGLE and COMBINED REAPERS and MOWERS, (New Manny, Champion, and others.) WOODS' REAPER, MOWER, AND HARVESTER, (tcilh Self-Bind in y attachment.) TIIE VIBRATOR THRESHING MACHINE, Nichvlls, Shcppard d- Co. Satisfaction Guaranteed or no Sale. FHE1). G ORDER, Oilii'c in J. V. JPeckbach's Store, corner Jtfaln and Tliii J Street. HE "MEW" AMERICAN SEWING- HvHCECIISrE. Eh This Machine is Ofierod to the Public Upon its Merits Alone. Its Liyht and Still Runrtiay Qualities, and its Self-Threading Needle and Svlf-Rt ;nlatiwt Tensions; make it the Most Desiiahle Machine in the world. FRANK CARRUTH, JE WELER, AGENT, PLATTSMOUTII, NEBRASKA. General W stern Office e ). .1. KEN YON, Manager, !2l"2 SOOT? jstd SHOE j. -.- ' - ; ' r- - "2 i- x - J. A - f I Z Z 1 rlir?! i S 7T x Ji i -w Z " . fflAUFATOIB rv Y.orR ISK Excelsior Conyiiig1 IJook. ( :i.1v iofw rn.v wiitl! -r V.I ! ii. I V;i1cr, iK'--. tr t'.Kl r ll. usc-.l )ioii, liln-;i-y n (- 1 lief. I -'or l-iiiliis wisliin t' l I:;in :;: i ' of lei - tM-s. ivt'iy MiMiit' n:;iii. cifi'-v iiit-n. intji-lient-i. ri-i Vfli is il is in vm',11. title j.-'iS ;it sitrlit. Si-ml !.t.-. v.e si",!) :..ni i.;c'' bunk, i : ... i V m i :.i ... ...... l irilt I lr, n i .'i.,,.j..iMii.ii,i .ii,,,,-.-.. ... ! t l.T io ;ui oi'inivii rl A'.'i'!:i'V. Si-::i! -t :im fur April:' ri.-.-ulur. i t-'i i i 1 11 '!;!. i i t5,-,.!Cirii i'ati4.al'ii. Sil. Tor TJiroat, Luug. Ast&ma. aad Kidneys. rarest Tcr Solution, or iDhnliition for Catsrrti. Couauiuptiun, U liront iilllfl. una AsltliiA. forest Tar Troches, u or or Tnrcat, Jlorseaesa, TickiiDg Cough aad E i'urily.ug toe l'.rtaiU. o?e3t Tar SaSve, jj cr Ilpalire Imlolett Sorts, fleers. Cut, BurE3, b.:U lur Till 8. rorest Tar Soap, or (-flapped Hnrt. Salt Ilbeom, Eitla Diseases, 9 tae loiiet arid Ualn. Ccfest Tar inhalers, or Ibbaliug for Catarrh. Conbiuiiptlon, AitUnia. For Sale by mil Itruggists. MIKE SCnNELLBACHER, IIOR1SE SHOEING, AS D W.VGOX KKTAiniXG All kinds of .u;m implements nienileJ Neatly d- Promptly :0: liorse, Jlsile& OxSlrnoin, In sliurt, we'll sauo anything that h:i.- four feut, i'vuux a Z hvn to a UiraJi'e. Couw ami see t;6. on frii'tti at., t-tw'-i ?ljiiitfsi.1 Vi:ie MrreHs. ff J. bj b; C5 Ooslas Street, Cssiali:, ?ivli. I ml fA - -TV? i 'S3 'e. tf" .Or'" . ; L.- (10 TO TIIK I ii , K A IsL) Kj V C ICJl I FOR YOUR i - . j i I THE PARKER GUN. SEND STAMP FOR CIRCULAR PARKER BRtfS WEST MERIDEN.CT. THERE IS MONEY IN IT! Special Inaccmenls io llie Trade. AGE1TT3 T7AITTED tverj whero for tho "W'Vr'.A SEWING THIT AUL TUB 8!mrlc-1, I,!Mst T.m-.alns, Bst ITade and Hosl Io!ial !n ti,-Kis Matfcinca in the v.vrlJ- (Cui this cut ttiul rrafBiInr it.) . . ; fi 'V;.v.'j Are., Cli"!. mil mWA fo il i m And he has brought Goods, Fancy say iiofMiBg of gaceaiesvby tiae aeic5 boot asid Ine till yoai caia94aet Iiats aaad' caps till ysa . Spring and Summer Goods ever and ever so cheap, Note is your thancolou?id to sell and undersell anybody. Hurry vp. I want to yo East ayuin next month. GOODS SOLB 7 to 8 or ta 7, Just m you like, ami Tiie casla is 'ail ways ezmie$l mii fm there is i InataMiM&likMi at f he As it is generally our custom to pive you our prices for goods so that you can calculate at home what you can buy fur your moiif-y, we will givo you juices holow which will be lower than ever ami 10 j)tr cont. clif;ippr tlian you can anywhere in this City or Stnte. We have the advantage of any ruerchant in this eitv buvinff direct from tho manufacturers. We have opened a Wholesale .Store in St. Joseph Mo., wliicli v. iil bo attended by Mr. Solomon 20 yards prints for one dollar. " " JJrown and bleach muslin, one 12 " 10 " I'due and brown denims, one 5ed ticking, one dollar. Cheviot, one dollar. Grass Cloth, one dollar. Malt Shades, one dollar. Table Linen, one dollar. Crash Toweling, one dollar. i 12 As it is impossible to give the we will only state that it is the largest and finest stock ever brought to this city and consisting of the followin new styles Poplins, Double Silk Pongees Japanese Silks. Matelasse Zephyr Sui'ings, Lawns. Grenadines, and Percales, at prices ranging from 12t cts. up; also a fine lin? of HAMBURG. LMLHOIIMIIIIES from 3 cents up. LIXLX LMBUOIDEltlES to match our LIXLX DUESS GOODS. A full assortment of 15 UN DLL Pitl Vi and everything belonging to .A- FIKST CLASS staple s-ancy ury Gooos tslabiisnment; "We also keep a full line of 3 .rt9 nii 3 Tic , "PSg 'ZXi'f nps- from .?. 30 up for whole suits. Jeans Pants from 61.00 up. An unexcelled line CENTS' FURNISHING COOK, fine White Shirts 61 up; Calico Shirts, 40 cts. up; Cheviot Shirts, 30 cts. up; Overalls. (50 cts. up; Paper Coll.-.is iot . MEN AND BOYS' MATS AND CAPS. Hats, Tc up; Caps, 10c up; Loots, 62 per pair up; .Shoes. 1 per j.ir up: TRUNKS and VALISES, a good :t sortment. We do not keep a little of evervtlung, from an Axe Han din to i barrel of salt, but what we do curry v have in full and complete stock. JEWELRY, PLATED WARE, CLOCKS, TAP4.K and POCKET CUTLERY, e "We v.ould inform the ladies of Platlsmouth and vicinity that we are in ret cipt of the the finest Pallern Heads and Bonnets Direct from Paris. We have an Accomplished, Fashionbie Lady Trimmer understands the business thoroughly and c.tu svit ah' y t a:.'. es; also a full line t,f SILK TRIMMINGS, Ribboiis, Flowers and Ornaments. Sash Ribbon's from 30c up; Lad--. Ti immed Hats, 61 and up. We have a large and complete stock Canvass, Perforated Card RoarJ, Xcpin r.;, Vx ':. Needles, Mottoes, and Siik Floss, cf all shades. An immense stfick of Carpets. Oil Cloths. Rugs and Mats. Htmp Carpets S3c per yard ; Ingrain Carpet per yard. Standard Carpet Chain, 3 ill bundles only 61.23. We have. also, for tiie fceommodation of our friends, added to our already extensive assortment a large slo-.-l: Oil Window Shades in all colors. Lace Window Curtains 23 cts per yard. We present our annual price list satisfied that our customers will see that we can do better for them ti.u; beforeand thankful for past patronage we must respectfully ak a continuance of the same. Piattsmouth, Nebraska, March 22d, 1ST7. SOLOMON & NATHAN. including (he greatest variety of beautiful colored shoes ! children ever brought to this market. To be closed out af. mb mmi mmmm mm mm itt : i siiall continue to keep the best of workmen, in my man ufacturing department. WIfl UTTIE has come hoiao, (110' finest line of Goods and Notions WITHOUT ARBITRATION! m n LOOK AT OUJi PIUCE LIST. dollar, Summer Shawls, 7.jc Handkerchiefs. 3 for dollar. Ladies Silk Ilandkerchier, 33c each. . Ladies Nose, 3 pair for 25c. Men's Socks ,c up. Cuffs ami Collar., 2 c a set, and up. Led Spreads, one dollar up. Corsets, good, 50c up. prices of our enormous 0 El ri n p If? "Cull i-M - Till: LARGEST AND LUST SELECTED STOC K Or 4 Dress Goods, Staple? you ever saw. up. 2c. pi -p & a Ur- :T35 c m 1 y 6. i i ! It