Nebraska Newspapers

    THE HERALD.
THE HERALD.
SJBMA
PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY
AT
PLATTSMOUTH, NEBRASKA
aivi:i:timi.i it at km.
SP.U'K.
1 s.r...
2 sen. .
:i si i i s .
' CO i .
ol..
1 col . .
1 w. : '-' vv. :5 w. 1 in. ; 3 in. ; m. j 1 yr.
SI no-it' i .V on $2 A" i S (i'l'J n
1 Mr :ti ij -j "f '.T.'i' "'Hi lonn 1:
2 Ml! 7".' 4 (r 4;,'i R .: i 1.1 SJitli.
,ii: h ip 1" mi, 1J (n) :tt no! r ,v. in
OFFICE:
On Vine St., One Block North of Miin,
Corner of Fifth Street.
j H-m! 12o-i !sot i -o ik ; (in vii
1-M; is mi ilm 11.' 4 1 1 ;i hi i a
OFFICIAL PAl'RK OF I'AHS
(.'Ol'ATV.
JNO. A. MACHURPHY, Editor.)
" PERSEVERANCE CONQUERS."
(TERMS: $2.00 a Year.
I '"AH AdvertLsin hill due quarterly.
STian-dcnt advcrtlM-mcuM tniiM. lie paM
lor in adtaiu-e.
Term, a Advance :
Oue copy, one year $2 no
One cFpy, six months i'nn
One copj-, three months '50
VOLUME XIII. K
PLATTSMOUTH, NEBRASKA, THURSDAY, MAY 17, 1877.
X UMBER 8.
Extra (H-pii's of tlu- If MiAi.t for sain I .1. I.
Yiuuiir, I'oMotV;-.-!' in ilrpui , .in. I (l. l-'.'Jolni-Nini.t'Oi
ner at Main and r'liili SticetH.
TO
SKA
-Fir iljLiAILIDo
FIRST
National Bank
OF rLATTSMOCTH. NEBKASKA.
r CEiSOR TO
1'OWXI.i:, HAWA A. CI.AKK,'
Jorw FiTzaitRAun
K. s. fioviv
A. W. Wr,Arom.i!. .
JONH O JllHkE
President.
Vice President.
Cashier.
...Assistant Cashier.
NEW ADVERTISEMENTS.
Vll-l"t5 rAVUHIIfc CAKDS WItU llJtllie
Y joc.Post paid. J. K.JlusJed, Nasati,N. '
DPUnT VFD rDrUvenMhotltevoIver
UU I UU F UU 1 11UU with hox Cartridge .
YOI will arue t distribute some of
you a CEZCLia
page, C4 eolunui
or 3 months. In-
close lOcentu to pay postage. Agents wanted
hK.MIAI.I.K t.. IJoston Max.
FOIj will at;rue to distribti
onr circular, we will send y
IH 311? F2A12. and IS pagf
Illustrated paper, TZZZ for 3 I
with utaini) to
TIiIm Hank Is now open fur business at their ' Jim.lv. Ilailo
Iiew rom. rnrHvr Midn and Sixth streets, anil ! well. 139 East
is remrei io iranxael a general
iryrS.e this.Only Sl.cooapital
B B required to start eanvms-
i 18 ,n f, r MARK TWAIN'S
JT Jf fl SlNEW SCRAP BOOK. Apply
CANVASSERS
BANKING BUSINESS.
Sleeks, Bond, Gold, Government and Local
Securities
r.Ol'UHT AM) SOLI).
Pt2,0sits Rcreimi niul Iiitrrest Allow
ed on Tim Certificate.
DRAFTS DBAWIT,
Available i-n anv part of the I'niied Slates and
In all the r'nnripnl Towns and C ities
of Vuropt.
Eijrht St., New York
ft NOT PURCHASE
any article until you have our new
('nt.-ilnrriieV
GREAT REDTJDTION
IN PRICES. Free to any
aaaress.
MONTGOMERY WARD & CO.,
VAHAMH At K. Chicago.
f
i
CKLEBKATF.I)
Inman Line and Allan Line
OF NT KA SIR KM.
I'ards no two alike 10c. 40 of name In
IKtmlsonie (louhle eafe 3Tc. 23 rhroiim
L'V.. .VI line while l.MV. 'm I'.-n-diiinI Ked
r& V I ".. 25 .let in L'ol. I Sic. vour name on
ad. 1 lie w hole lot for 1. Siiuipfes of cards and
a .'IJ milium weekly paper fur 3e. Ci. B. Ull
m.ks. 12 W inter St., riostoii. Mass.
A LUCRATIVE BUSINESS.
i-f II. -.ni l 7 .
t .x iciug Jlru tttite Agents, and oOO tneri
i v It- rt tl I 111 Stl '. 1 1 t ti t. . Tun Jut &
Fed 111 UUtllfj? hhn r (till t lw.ir fi H..I Ij r.-..ni '
Kin-one .Tin " ' 1 "j htiftntj Sewing Machines. Com
i-iucHAUTn-Kk-Ti miiM i eus'Uion LibtraU but txirying acevrd-
Through to w i . - m .. i. ;".' f AOi'ity, Character ana Qualiti
' cations of t!t? Agent. For particulars,
A duress
1 Wilson Sewing Madias Co., Clicaio.
; w: f2 Broad 'vay. N. V.. or New Orleans, La
PROFESSIONAL CARDS
It. II. H I MII A 21,
ATTORNEY and Counselor at Law. Keal
estate bought and sold. Taxes paid : and spe
cial attention given to collections, uihce over
Ir. Chapiuaii Drus store, I'lattsmoutU. i(7yl
Kill n CEIAI'3IAX.
ATTOTJNKY AT LAW and Solicitor in Chan
cery, oniee in t itzgerald's liloek, i'lattsinc
Nebraska.
WHEELKIt A ItEAXKTT,
REAL ESTATE and Tax ravine Aeents. No
taries Public, Fire and Life Insurance Agents,
i lausinoutii, ivebrasKa.
K It MVIXUSTUY,
PnYSICIAN & SURGEON, tenders his pro
fessional services to the citizens of Cass county.
Residence southeast corner (Sixth and Oak sts. ;
Otlice on Main street, two doors west of Sixth,
i lausniouin. eorasKa.
Spitting in a Rail Car.
I'.Y C LA 11 A HASKELL,
a i:o. M. KM ITU.
ATTORN KY AT LAW and Real Estate Bro
ker. Special attention piven to Collections
ana an matters anectin;; the title to real estate,
( MTu-e on 2d floor, over l'ost Office, i'lattsmoutli,
.H'tllUAit. 4C I.
JOIIX W IIAIXf'.M
JUSTICE OK TlfE PEACE, ami collector of
debts. collections made from one dollar to one
thousand do'lars. Mortgage. leeds. and oth
er instruments drawn, and all eoimtv business
usually transacted before a Justice of the I'eaee.
Best of reference clven if required.
oiTice on Main street. West of Court House.
40-yl JOHN W. HAINES.
c
o
o
C3
CD
CU
CQ
jO
c
CD
-a
o
o
in
O
O O
a
P4
K3
CO
X)
o
o
o
CO
CD
CD
O
O
o
5
TRIFLING
WITH A COLD IS ALWAYS DANGEROUS.
USE
WELLs' CARBOLIC TABLETS,
a sure remedy for COUGHS, and all diseases
or the TJllWAT. LUXG3. CHEST AXDMU
COVS MEM Eli A .YE.
rt'T UP ONLY IN II LITE BOXES.
SOI.U BY ALL DRUGGISTS.
C. N. CUITTENTON. 7 SixihAveniie, N. Y.
Excelsior Barber Shop.
J. C. BOONE,
Jfain xtrerf, ojjosite Saunders Jfoust.
HAIR-CUTTING,
Sfjavliiif and S2i;tmioing'.
KSl'ECIAL AriUNTION GIVEN TO
t titling Child coil's and I.;nlit-s
I2afr.
o
ii s
H ti
O -3
I a f;ill account of this (;reat luvsieiy. unuciiby
ai liis fathrr, heats Uobinson Crusoe in thrilling
X Tt I iiit i''st. The illustrated linud-liook to nil
pr ' re I IsrioijM. a complete account of nil denoml-
j nations and sects. ;:no illustrations. Also the
r-..- i laities' medical uuide, by I)r. Fancoast. 100 il
lustrations. 1 hese books sell at sijiht. Male
and Female Airentscojn mnrv on them. Far
tiei.lars free. Copies by mail 2 each. John E.
Potter & iv., Philadelphia. 514
VMinA mouth- Agents Wanted on our three
vflrpt ?2 Books.
KTOEIY oJ CII iltl.KY ROSS.
BaRYAN & CHAMBERS,
Manufacturers of ami Dealers hi
OK. J. 31. WATKKMAX,
Physio Medical Practitioner.
ZtiKisvCUe, Co-s Co., 2Ceb.
tS Always at the office on Sat unlays. 40yl
PLATTSMOUTH MILLS
rLATTSMOUTH, NEB.
C. HEISEL, - Proprietor.
Flour, Corn Meal, & Feed
Always on hand and for sale at lowest cash
prices. The highest prices paid for Wheat and
corn. Particular attention given custom work.
SAUXDERS HOUSE.
J.S.GIlEaolir, - - - Proprietor.
Location Central. Good Sample Room-
Free Conveyance to and from the Depot at
iii3 natismouin, rst-D.
COMMERCIAL HOTEL,
LINCOLN, NEB.,
J.J.IlfllOFF, --- Proprietor.
The best known and most popular Landlord
in the state. Always stop at the Commercial.
r2 jES
SADDLES.
COLLARS.
If ALTERS,
CA'.L AM) SEE HOUM:. CENTS.
And vet a booue iu a
WHIPS,
ETC.. ETC., ETC
REPAIRING
WILLIAM HEROLD DoGU with Neatue Dispatch.
i i . . i..
K-ii.- out- .r :!if -
Jargest Stocks
TINT mTTTIVT
AWVXI. 40yi
I'KOI-KIKTOIt OF
PALACE BILLIARD HALL.
(Main St.. e:ut of Fiixt Nat. Bank.)
rLATTS.HOlTTII, - - -
MT ItAR IS Ki ri'LIF.D WITH THE
BEST WINES, LIQUORS,
BEER. ETC., ETC. 4V'yI
i: m i it y
AND
MacliixiQ Shops !
m
I-LJITTSVOtTH, ER.,
Repairer of Steam Engines, Ii'AUrs,
Suic ami (Jrist 3fills,
JAK Al STEAM FITTIXiS.
Wrought Iron Pipe. Forc and Lirt Pipes.Steam
Gau ires. Safety-Valve Governors, and all
kinds of Brass Engine Fitting,
repaired on short uotive.
KARM MACHINE M t
Ref.aiwd on Short Notice. 4fijT
"Y OlJN G !"
UO FOit THE
BJlaoIs mils !
IX PLATTSMOUTH.
WIIOLKSALl? Liqron
AM) CIiAIt STORE
OF
CT-A-S. AAAAlSr.
y-McGUIRE'S old stand still kept epen by
the above.
CIGARS. TOBACCOS, d-C, WHOLE
SALE d- RETAIL.
W KEEP
Good Goods, Buy Largely
And invite trade to call and examine, ltf
Can't be made by every agent every
month in the business we furnish, but
those willing to, work can easily earn a
iiMi dollars a dar ritrht in theii own localities.
Have no room to explain here. Business pleas
ant and honorable. Women, boys and Rirls do
as well as men. We will fiirnirh you a complete
out lit free. The business pay better than any
thins else. We will bear expense t starting
you. Particulars free. Write and see. Farm
ers and mechanics, their sons and daughters.
and all classes in need of paying work at home.
should wn?e to us an. I learn all about the work
at ouce. Now is the time. Don't delay. Ad
dress '''HE & Co.. Augusta. Maine.
0
Can always be found fit Halt's Old
Stand, ready to .sell the bent Meats.
YOUNG buys fresh fat cattle, sheep, linfs.vc.
direct from the fanners every day, and his
meats are always good.
GAME, FlUll, AXf) roTTL, I.V SEASOX
3yl.
SAGE BROTHERS,
Dealers in
ST VIES,
ETC.. ETC., ETC.
One Door East of the Post-office. PlattMnouth,
Nebraska.
... :o:....
Practical Workers in
SHEET IRON. ZINC. TIN, BRA-ZIERY,dc.,de.
Large assortment of Ilard ana Soft
GOAL STOYBS,
Wood and Coal Stoves for
HEATING Oil COOKING,
Always on Hand.
.Hvery variety of Tin. Sheet Iron,
and Zinc
lork, kept in Stock.
MAKING AND REPAIRING,
Don on Short Notice.
iSTEVERTTHIXa WARRANTED !
. PRICES LOW BOWS.
atf SAGE BROS.
GRAND CENTRAL'
HOTEL,
Largest and finest Hotel be
tween Chicago ami San
Francisco.
GEO. THRALL, - - I'rop.
OMAHA. NED.
oTk. SALOON.
I keep constantly on baud
Best's Milwaukee Beer.
which can be had pt no other
PLACE IN THE CITY.
Also the best of
mxEs, Li'jvons. axd cioars.
33tnG Ed. Itosmbauin.
LENHOFF tfc BONNS,
31 online Dew Saloon !
One door e:mt of the Saunders House. We
Keep tue best ol
Beer, Wines, Liquors & Cigars.
3.in:9 Constantly ou Hand.
A 4reat Heduction iiTl'ricci-i r
GUNS, REVOLVERS, &c.
Trices reduced from 20 to 3n ner cent. Write
for Illustrated Catalogue, with rsducud prices
ior isi .. Address,
GREAT WESTERN GUN WORKS,
Sl Smithfield St., Pittshurjch, Pa. I8yl
Sitting in a rail car.
Flying on by steam.
Head against the casement.
Dreamed a curious dream ;
Yet I could not think of it
All a thing ideal.
For. though very monstrous
It was very real.
Firit there came a gentleman,
Iu shoes of patent leather.
Collar, bosom wristbands.
Kiiglan for the weather ;
In the height of fashion.
Watch-key, liat and glove.
And with air professional
Spit ujiou Hie stovt.
Near him sat a parson.
Telling how the Lord,
Sent the great revivals.
Blessed the preached word ;
But my dream discovered.
He was not above
"Honey Dew" or "Fine Cut,"
Spitting on the stove.
Next came In a trader,
Pockets full of cash.
Talked about the country
Going all to smah ;
T'was the "women's dressing,"
Did the thing "by Jove."
Sipped a little brandy.
Spit upon the stove.
Then a jolly farmer,
Brasrjing of his wheat.
Thought hio swine and horses
No where could be beat ;
"Like to sell his Durhains,
By the head or drove."
Kept his Jaws a wagging.
Spit upon the etove.
Paddy thought 'twas "quare" like
To be sitting still,
All the while a gom'
Over bog and hill ;
" Twas a glorious country.
Sure." as he could prove,
Equal to his betters.
Spitting on the stove.
Witless, perfumed dandy.
Putting on his airs.
Flourished diamond breastpin,
Smoking in a forward car ;
Talked about the love of men
"Such a perfect love."
Twirled a carrot moustache.
Spit upon the stove.
Little boy in short coat
Wants to be a man.
Following example
As the surest plan ;
Watches gent and parson,
Copies every move.
And, with Pat and trader.
Spits upon the stove.
Sfion the flying rail car
Keeks with nauseou t-team.
Ladies almost faiutmg.
Children in a scream.
Husband, asking lady,
"What's the matter love?
Have a gass of water?"
Spits upon the stove.
Ou we go, slid flying.
Not a breath of air
Fit for christian people
In that crowded ear ;
Sickening, fainting, dying.
Ladies make a move,
Gents throw up the window
Spits upon the stove.
Talk of ladies' flounces,
Klbbons, jewels, flowers.
Crinolines and perfumes,
Gossip, idle hours
Tut all faults together
Which men can't approve,
And thev are not a match
For spitting on the stove.
A HUMOROUS DOCTOR.
H. A. WATERMAN & SON,
Yliolirs;ile and Retail Dealers in
Pine Lumber,
Good fresh iuilk
DELIVERED DAILY !
AT
e ver ruon r '.s home i x pla ttsmo vtu
IF THEY WAXT IT, BY
J. F. BK AI M ESSTKR.
:NI IN VOl'ilORDKKS AND I WILL, THY AND
f.IVE YOU
:ftt:r,:e milk
40vl
and serve yon regularly.
O. F. JOHNSON,
DEALEU IN
Drugs, Medicines3
U AND
WALL PAPER,
All Paper Trirnniea .free of
Charge.
ALSO DEALER IN
W7
Stationery, Magazines,
AND
Latest Publications.
Prescriptions Carefully Compounded
by an Experienced Druggist.
REMEMBER THE PLACE.
COR. FIFTH & MAIN 81REETS
PLATTSMOUTH, MB.
SHIIsTQLBS,
Sash,
Doors,
Blinds,
ETC.. ETC., ETC.
Maiu street. Corner of Fifth,
rLATTSMOUTH, - - - - NED.
Still Better Rates for Lumber.
STIIE1GUT & MIL LEU,
Harness Manufacturers,
SADDLES
BRIDLES,
COLLARS.
and all kinds of harness stock, constantly on
hand.
Fruit Confectionery 9
AND
Grocery Store
CANDIES,
NUTS,
TEAS
SUGAlCS,
COFFEES,
TORA.CCOES,
FLOUR,
AO.
Remember t lie place opposite E. G. Dovey's
ou Ixwer Main Street.
21-ly
STREIGHT d- MILLER.
LANDJLANDI
BEST FARMING LANDS
IN NEBRASKA,
FOR SALE BY
S. cS ESo. IB.. M..
IX .XEltltAKtliA. .
Great Advantages to Buyers
IX 1877.
Ten Years Credit at 6 percent InUrest.
Six Years Credit at 0 per csnt Interest,
and 20 per cent Discount.
Other liberal IIeouu t Fur Cash,
Kebate on Fare and Freights,
and I'reminms tor Improve
ments. Tamphlets and 3faps. containing full partic
ulars, will ba mailed free to any part of the
world on application to
LAND COMMISSIONER, B. M. R. R.
lOyj Ll'e0l XB5AKA
Tribulations and Trials of a loathful
Tillbagrgrer.
From the Kansas City Times.
t the banquet given to the Missou
ri M dical Association at the St. James
Hotel iu this city on the 18 inst., the
chairman called on Dr. Willis P. King,
of Sedalia, to respond to the toast..
"The Central District Medical Associ
ation." The inimitable drollery of the
Doctor's manner is of course lost in
the following report of his remarks,
but the matter is also full of humor.
He said : Mr. President and Gen
tlemen As I have not prepared a
speech I will have to go off by sponta
neous combustion.
I know it would be the proper thing
for me to say that I did not expect to
be called upon for a speech to-night;
but it would not be true. I am thus
particular about the truth in the be
ginning because I want to get your con
fidence, when I will proceed to lead
you astray by telling you some things
that are not true. Laughter and ap
plause. I am glad that I have been called
upon to say something in regard to the
experiences of the young phsician, for
I have a warm and tender place in my
heart for the young doctors. No one
knows, except the young doctor him
self, how his herat palpitates over his
first case of sickness, and how hi3 soul
yearns for an epidemic of measles or
chicken-pox! Loud Laughter.
After I graduated, eleven years ago,
I started out from Sedalia, on horss
back to the far Southwest, where my
family had moved while I was at col
lege. (I will remark, while passing,
that the first thing I did when I arriv
ed at the station of manhood was to
get a family. I had heard that it was
best and that no family should be
without one.) Laughter and ap
plause. On my second night out I staid all
night on the banks of the Oswego River.
During the evening a neighbor came
in and saw my pill bags. When I star
ted out the next morning I met the
same neighbor in company with an
awkward j'outh of about eighteen
summers, or summers thereabouts.
Laughter.
The youth had his hand tied up in a
bundle about the size of a yearling
mule. Loud Laughter.
He asked me if I was a doctor. I
told him I thought I was. (I really
did think so, gentlemen.) Laughter.
by
He
He proceeded to undo his hand
unwrapping a blue cloth from him.
then took off an old red shawl, unwind
ing toward him. He proceeded in
this way until he finally reached his
hand. He had a felon. We went to
the house. I remembered the instruc
tions of my friend Dr. Gregory, to get
the patient behind you when you go to
lance a felon, with his arm under your
arm. I got him in this position, put
my knife down to the bone and walk
ed out on his phalanx! Laughter and
applause.
He grabbed his sick hand with the
well one and hopped arround on one
foot and howled like a wolf with a
grindstone on his tail, while I washed
my knife. Laughter.
He got out his only half dollar. I
took it, and felt like a highway robber!
Loud applause and laughter.
I had a young and tender conscience
then, gentlemen, but I have got all
over that now. Laughter. l can
take the last cent a man has without
any compunctions. Laughter.
I would have liked very much to
have kept that half dollar, as it was
my first fee; but I had to spend it. I
was like the boy in the novel poor
but honest. Laughter. I. am poor
yet. Applause and Laughter. I ar
rived home in due time and went into
the practice. I had all the experiences
common to young physicians. I met
the old lady who doctored Sara Slo-
curn's wife when sh was sick. She
was handy with a mustard draft and a
hot poultice. She wore a wart on her
nose and a red bandanna handkerchief
on her head. Loud laughter.
The old lady and I became fast friends
and would have remained so until this
day if the old lady had not taken the
cramp colic. I was called to see her
and concluded to cup her. I had no
cupping glasses and concluded to use a
glass tumbler. The old lady had
good deal of looseness in the parieties
of her abdomen. When I put on the
glass her whole abdomen seemed to
run right into the glass and when I de
sired to take it off I could not
worked and pulled and the old lady
howled. I groped in unutterable
darkness for a quarter of an hour and
then got a hammer an broke the glass!
Laughter. We never spoke again
Applause and laughter.
The Southwest was at that time set
tled Ly a nomadic class of people. They
are not there now. They moved to
Arkansas every fall and came back to
Missouri in the spring. Each family
general. y worten a yoke of steers in
an old shack of a wagon with a blind
horse or a lame one in the lead. They
generally had about ten or a dozen
children, fourteen dogs and an old gnn!
I waited on them in stables, tents,
wagons, under wagons and out of
doors, I sometimes found as many as
three or four in one bed, and they
would emit an odor somewhat akin to
that emanating from a saddle blanket
full of wet cats. Laughter. I had
a young and tender stomach then also.
I have since developed up a stomach
that don't get its back up at every pas
sing bad smell! Laughter.
IJut of all the things that afflicted
me in my early experience as a physi
cian the idea of a consultation was the
worst. I dreaded meeting the old
physicians. I thought grey hairs and
wisdom were synonymous words.
There was a man practising in that
country who had been there, well ever
since the Hood. He had a wonderful
reputation. I put the thing off as long
as I could, but the inevitable came at
last. One of the prominent men in
my neighborhood got sick with pneu
monia, and when the lung had solidifi
ed, and he had passed near unto death, I
honestly informed the family of his
dangerous condition. Of course they
wanted Smith. I call Iiim Smith, be
cause that was not his name. Smith
came, and I met him with fear and
trembling. He wore a No. 3 hat and
a No. 13 boot. Laughter.
him the history of my case
treatment, and awaittd the
storm. I expected to be overwhelmed
with a flood of technicalities and with
his wonderful knowledge of patholo
gical antomy. He looked at me through
his spectacles with the gravity of an
owl and said; "Doctor, did you ever
try a black cat-skin poultice in these
cases V" Uproarious laughter. I ad
mited that in my ignorance I never
had.
I thought it a good tine for mo to
get out of the case. So I informed the
family that, as Dr. Smith had been
their family physician before they
knew me, he had better take the case.
They were only too glad to make the
change. That was an awful and ca
lamitous night on cats, specially black
cats. Applause and laughter.
The man died, and Smith told them
that if he had seeu the case two hours
earlier and had succeeded in gesting a
leetle" blacker cat he would have sav
ed him. Laughter. The family still
think so. Sacred be
Smith; he has been
fathers.
My next consultation was with a
man whom, ror convenience 1 shall
call Jones. I rode fifteen miles on a
dark night to meet him, When I went
into the cabin I was met by a terible
smell which gave me spasmotic asth
ma. I thought they were burning old
boot heels. Laughter. Jone3 arose
from one corner of the room and in
troduced himself. I saw at once that
he was a man of high standard in the
piofession six feet three in his stock
ing feet, Laughter. He had but one
eye, and his nose looked like a red lan
tern in a Democratic torch-light pro
cession. Laughter. When he tower
ed above me and beamed on me with
with his good eye, and that nose I al
most wilted. Laughter. I asked
whence came that awful smell. He said
he was burning chicken feathers under
the bed to bring away a retained
placenat! He added that he had
always heard that Dominicker feathers
wer the best. Loud laughter. The
pot was removed on acccount of my
asthma. When I came to examine the
case I found the poor woman covered
all over with ears of hot corn. The
doctor said that he had always heard
that boiled corn was good in these cas
es. l told him 1 thought it was good-
for horses. The woman died, but I am
sorry to sav that Jones sun lives.
Laughter.
I have been requested to give for the
benefit of those who make a speciality
of diseases of the ear, a case of deaf
ness that I didn't treat. The man came
into my office with a peculiar, listen
ing expression on his face, and puting
his right hand behind his ear, he said
in a voice that showed evident enlarge
ment of the tonsils:
"Is this Dr. King's office ? Doctor,
I've come to see if you could cure my
deafness. I've been deaf for a long
time, and I've tried a good many doc-
pockets and bade them God speed to
Constantinople, where the Sultan, in
response to the demands of Austria for
extradition, haughtily refused to deliv
er them up. Some of these same exiles
uiu now uacii in Hungary, ana to their
influence must be ascribed the warlike
feeling against liussia. Thev re me in
ber too well the bloody field of Tenies
var. and the fate of Datthyanyi, of Ki:-
Aulich.Tarak, Labuer.Schweiudel, am
the other brave men who were butch
ered after their surrender, and to be
particularly friendly either to the Czar
or :o Francis Joseph. Globe Democ rat
FOE THE HOUSEHOLD.
To Our Lady Readers.
tors, and they aint done me no good,
and I've paid out a heap of money and
I'm a miiihtv poor man; you musn't
charge rue much. Do you think you
can cure me?"
"Hah!" said I, I don't know.
He said "Hah! I don't know,"
I said at the top of my voice, "may
be you had better go to an aurist."
"Dr. Forest" said he, "is he a good
doctor?"
"I didn't say Forest." I replied ; "I
said aurist, a man who treats diseases
of the ear." in a voice loud enough to
6plit him from end to end.
He said "Hah!"
"Oh. go down stairs and soak your
feet," I said, not knowing what else to
say.
"Soakum & Peet," said he, "do they
cure deafness, Do you think they can
cure me.
I adjourned on him to get rid of him
I am going to send him to my friend
Dr Spencer. Loud laughter and ap
plause.
Mr. President. I am glad I came
here, and especially clad to meet so
many gentlemen of the profession. I
always 20 away from these meetings
feeling about two feet taller than when
I came. After partaking of the hos
pitality of the people of Kansas City
and enjoying this magnificent banquet
I feel like staying here always, but as
can.t do that I have concluded to
take Kansas City home with me. ft
would make such a nice suberb to Se
dalia. Laughter and applause. I
came near going home this aftenoon,
and if I had I would not have been
here to night. I believe that is a logic
al statement. Next to being truthful I
desire to be logical. Gentlemen, I
thank you for your kind attention.
Long continued applause.
T - A, A.1 1
jei. ua ten you wnat reached our
desk this week. A magazine which
supplies information 011 every article
a lady or child can wish to wear, from
the sole of her feet to the top of her
head. Each article is richly illustrated'.
underneath is the description, with the
number of yards it takes to make it;
and then comes the price at which you
cm uureiiase ic. ah classes are pro
vided for. The wealthiest and the least
wealthy all can find qualities suited
to their means. Interleaved between
the fashion descriptions we find page
after page of original reading-matter;
not such as over loads so many publi-
cations, but bright, suggestive, instruc
tive contributions by our best lady
writers, on subjects in which every
sensible woman takes pleasure and in
terest. "The Kitchen," "The Home,'
The Cultivation of Beauty," 'The Ed
ucation of Children,' 'The art of Dress
making, etc., etc. all are standard ar
ticles on standard subjects.
Now when we say further that this
magazine, a monster volumn of 116
pages, is only the "Spring" number of
a publication which costs but 50 cents
for a whole year's subscription, our
readers will understand why we con
sider it somewhat remarkable. It is
published by Ehrich & Co., Nos. 287
and 230 Eighth Avenue N. Y., the en
terprising merchants who thus meet a
great demand of ladies who live away
from the great metropolis, and yet are
eager to learn of the vagaries of fashion
and of the price for which these vagar
ies can ue purchased, lhe accompan
ying directions, according to which
goods should be ordered, are so clear
and simple that a child could thus or
der its wardrobe. You will not regret
snbscribing to "Ehrichs' Fashion Quar
terly."
The durability of black silks leads to
the necessity of their frequent clean
ing, and an excellent way to do this is
as follows: Peel about two potatoes.
slice them thin, pour one pint of boil
ing water on them. Leave it standing
four hours. When ready for immedi
ate use, put in about a quarter of a
te acupful of alcohol. Sponge tho
silk well on tho wrong side, rubbing
any shiny spots with care. Then lo'.l
it tightly around a thick pole. This
renews its freshness and cleans it well.
Do not use an iron.
DISINTEGRATION.
I gave
and the
coming
the memory of
gathered to his
It Has Struck the Democratic Party.
Washington, May 3.
The tendency of things showing a di
vision as likely to occur between North
ern and Southern Democrats, is even
more visible to-day. The more respec
table part of the Democratic Club of
this city strongly sustains the Presi
dent's policy and the club is strongly
denounced by Northern Democrats
here in unmeasured terms but it is sus
tained bv Southern Democrats with
singular unanimity. The members of
Congress from the South in the city al
so state that they will hereafter con
sult their own judgment and not defer
as heretofore to the Northern wing of
the party. They will have one or more
candidates for speaker and will give
them considerable support, and ask for
help from the North instead of waiting
on anybody the Northern majority may
chocse.
It thus happens that while the Dem
ocrats show signs of disintegration, the
Republicans are daily becoming more
harmonious on account of the evident
general satisfaction with the peace and
home-rule new regime in the South.
The general situation is one of great
quiet.
This will Suit Frank Stadtcr.
Whatever may happen to the Turks,
they may always calculate on the sym
pathy and support of the Hungarian
portion of the Austrian Empire. The
Hungarians, among their other good
qualities, have that of gratitude, and
can never forget the good treatment
they received from the Turks when be
trayed by Gorgey ; beaten, dispersed aud
disheartened, they fled for safety to
Turkish territory. They were forced
to pass through Servia, and all the an
nals of the Hungarian war show that
the Servians were more barbarously
cruel to the vanquished than were the
Austrians or their Russian allies. But
when the scattered bands of exiles
reached Widin, they were safe; the
Turkish residents took them in, fed
them, clothed them, put money in thir
State Items.
Twenty-nine persons were initiated
into the Temple of Honor in Beatrice
last week.
Hastings is happy over the County
Seat. Juniata isn't.
They are to have an Old Folks Con
cert at Dakota City, in which Mrs,
Partington will make some remarks.
jUiss Jjj uia iiuoues and a cousin, a
young lady, were drowned in the Elk
horn near West I'oint, while attempt
ing to cross in a skiff.
James Alpaugh, Clerk of Lincoln
Count)', has absconded. Forged bonds,
&c.
Hon. N.K.Griggs, U. S. Consul to
Chemnitz, is back to Beatrice on a visit.
The Presbyterian ladies in Kearney
gave a "wame and maple syrup supper.
A man named J. E. Stewart, living
near Palo, York Co.. shot himself a few
days since.
We are indebted to Mr. E. Andrews
for a copy of a history of Saunders Co..
by Hon. Moses Stocking. It is a cred
itable production to both the author
and printer. Independent
Morgan L. Wright has received a
letter from a gentleman in Massachu
setts who says that in a few week3 a
whole colony will leave there for Mer
rick County, Nebraska. Tally one for
old Merrick. They come. Central City
Courier.
We are glad to learn from Mr. Griggs
that Mr. Waugh and family are enjoy
ing the best of ealth in Deutchland,
and farther, that Mr. Waugh is soon to
be promoted from Secretary to Vice
Consul. Post.
The Nebraska City Press says that
Miss Annie Irish, daughter of the Hon
O. II. Irish, of that City, has been ap
pointed by Secretary Schurz translator
of languages in the interior department,
a position never before filled by a lady.
Just before closing our forms we
learn that Mr. Henry Stork, of Arizo
na, lost twenty-five head of cattle dur
ing the storm last Friday night, and a
neighbor of his lost ten head. The cat
tle were in a large herd, and in attempt
ing to protect themselves from the
storm were smothered to death. Mr.
Stork loses one valuable blooded heif
er, which he recently purchased for
SI 15 Burtonian.
The following are the delegates to
the Convention of the State Sportsmen's
Assoociation, from Fremont, to take
place at Plattsmouth on the 22d inst.:
D. M. Welty, Cai t. St. John. W. L.
May, Robt. Gregg, Pat Hanlon.
These are hard times for local edit
ors. Money is plentier than locals.
Fremont Herald,
Wish we could ay that.
Jellied 'Veal. Boil a small
knuckle of veal in plenty of water
slightly salted. When the meat in
thoroughly done and will slip readilv
from tho bones, take it aud piuk into
flakes; place these, into a wet mould,
inserting among them three hard boil
ed eggs at regular intervals. Season
the liquor which isleft in the kettle with
pepper and a little lemon juict and
strain it over the veal. The liquor
should bo boiled awav so that then
will be only sufficient to cover tho
meat and eggs nicely. Set it away in
a cool place for eight or ten hours and
then turn it out on to a flat dish, gar
nish with curled parsley, and serve iu
thin slices. This is one of the simplest
and most economical of dishes, and i
at the same time pretty to look at, and
tastes even better than it looks. If the
meat is cooked in sullicient water and
boiled down closely enough it will ba
sure to jelly; If not the difficulty can b
remedied by turning A" the liquor and
boiling in it a little gelatine that ha
been soaked iu cold water for an hour,
pour it again over the meat and cool.
It is better without this addition, and
there will bo no occasion for it if tho
directions are followed.
Soft Gingerbread. Put 1 cup of
dark molasses, J CUV of brown sugar
and ijj enp of butter (or part butter
and part laid) into a pan and set it
where it will just come to a boil. Cool
and add one teaspoonful of ginger,
of salt, and one egg. Stir in one half
cup of sour milk and two and a half
cups of flour; beat well, and last of all
add two even spoonf tills of soda dis
solved in one-third cupful hot water
Bake in moderate oven until well
done.
A little k'-1 having one day read to
her teach ' first twelve verses of
the fifth chapter of the Gospel of Mat
thew, he asked her to stop and tell him
which of these divine graces, said by
our Lord to be blessed, she should most
like to have. She paused a little and
then said, with a modest smile, "I
would rather be pure in heart." Her
teacher asked her why she chose this
above all the rest. "Sir," she said, "if
I had a pure heart, I should have all
the other graces spoken of in the chap
ter."
A woman will take the smallest
drawer in a bureau for her own private
use, and will pack away in. it bright
bits of boxes, of all shades and sizes.
dainty fragments of ribbon, and scraps
of lace, foamy ruffles, velvet things for
tho neck, bundles of old love letters.
pieces of jewel ry, handkerchiefs, fans,
things that no man knows the name of.
all sorts of fresh looking, bright little
traps that you couldn't catalogue in a
column, and any hour of the day or
night she can go to that drawer and
pick up any article she wants without
disturbing anything else. Whereas a
man, having the biggest, deepest and
widest drawer assigned to him, will
chuck into it three, socks, a collar box,
an old neck tie, two handkerchiefs, a
pipe and a pair of suspenders, and to
save his soul he can't shut that drawer
without leaving more ends of things
sticking out then are things in it, and
it always looks as though it had been
packed by a hydraulic press. Hawk-
eye.
Flowers to Flourish in the Shade
Draeu.-nas (dragon tree), MiniuliiH
(musk plant), Achyranthcs, Coleus iu
numerous varieties, Centaureas (dusty
millers), fuchsias, pansies, zonal gera
niums, ivies (English or German), be
gonias, terns, and tancy calaiuum.
To Flourish in the Sunshine
Double geraniums, petunias, ivy-Ieavcil
geraniums, gazanias, heliotropes, ver
benas, monthly ruses, mignonette, cy
press and Maderia vines, dwarf cari
nas, calceolarias, lantanas, lobelia
nierembergia, cuphea and tropeolum.
For both Sun and Shade Cciitatir-
eas, ivies, mauraudia, thuubergia, tro
peolum.
"I don't care a pin for him," said a
beautiful but slovenly young lady, who
lad lost her beau and knew it. i es.
she did care. I Phreue Faithful, know
all about it. It was le who cared
morn than a pin for her. He was look-
ng for a wife, and was half in love
with Gloriaua Gadabout, thought her
magnificent, intelligent-, charming, all
of which she certainly was at a ball,
it the opera, on the seashore, iu thi
mountains, at Saratoga, everywhere in
fact but at home. He had followed
her all around during IheSurr msr. Ha
called to see her iu the fall when they
went back to town. She came down
with her dress partly unpinned and her
hairuntidv. He never went back. Don't
call him fickle. Don't sav such a fellow
was "not worth a pin." He was ronlly
only observing and shrewd. He judged
of woman as of men by little things.
A pin may be a little thing but tho
want of one little thing has made or
marred many a girls matrimonial for
tune. Gloriana'Gadabout still haunts
the sea shore and the mountins; at tho.
watering place hop3nhd the Ladics .
day Club receptions she is still the
bejje; but she is not married, although
it was five years ago when that un
lucky lost pin cost her the loss of a
husband. Pwebe Faithful.
In F.hrich's Fashion Quarterly,