THE HERALD
PLATTSMOUTII.JULY 23,1874.
WHO VAS IT!
I At a late meeting of the Common Council at
Lansing, Mich., the following petition, printed,
illustrated with cuts, and framed, was found on
Hit- Clerk's table :
Who vas it broke mine gate away
I'nd in mine garden eat all day,
Und on mine ttower-neds roll and play?
Der Cows.
WIki vas it goes mine house around
i'ml mil his .HC'lmout tore up de ground,
I'nd never yet has seen dat Bound?
Der Hogs.
Who vas It, ven der month noes by
Draws out der greenpaeks on der sehly,
I'ml at der patties vinks von eye?
Dat Uouud-greepcr.
Who den allows dese dings to be,
To drouble honest mens like me,
I'nd leafe mine yard initout a tree?
Dose Council,
To which the Herald sulded two
verses and sent to our Council:
Who answers to de beobles gall,
ITnd lets de gows go to de wall,
AVlule for der bells dey loudly bawl?
Our jolly Council.
Now of dey'll shtop de togs great yaup,
Dis Council off, we'll never swap.
Hut geep Ym dcre, till lime breaks aup?
Our glorious Council.
The Cow Bell Ordinance was passed
forthwith: hut the "togs" roam uneol
lared, unhonored and un-hung.
TWO OLD PLATTSMOTTII PEOPLE.
The Sutton Times says, Paul
Braistch, our well known Jeweler, has
just "lit" down on then!, and opened a
splendid Jewelry Store. And that
Breed, the Ginger Ale man has also
arrived at Sutton, and opened .a res
taurant and tobacco store. Hurrah
for our folks.
La Platte, just across the liiver in
Sarpy county, is having red-hot limes.
On Saturday a voung woman threw
her child in a well, and '"Hob" and the
Sheriff have her and the reputed father
of the child in custody; and Sunday a
man almost kicked his wife to death,
and things are still working.
From the Lincoln Jihule we learn:
His exc?!lency, Tip-Top, squatter
Governor of Xebi a ska, Omaha and the
Nebraska pine regions, is greviously
afflicted nights.bv divers uncouth noises
caused by sundry cowbells, ami pit
teously and deliantly calls on the strong
arm of the city fathers to protect him
in his inalienable right to life, liberty
and the pursuit of happiness, especially
the latter. Tf the fathers refuse to
listen, we would advise him to muzzle
those bells. We have tried it on the
dogs in Linooln.and it has thinned them
like a pestilence: just privately offer
a few small boys twenty-live cents re
ward for any bell found running at
large "without a good muzzle securely
fastened on with a strap or chain," and
our word for it, your city corralls will
soon be as quiet as a deaf and dumb in
stitute. The Kansas Farmer, the leading
grange paper in that srate, advo
cates the abolition of the state and nat
ional granges, and gives very many co
gent reasons why the system cannot
succeed. It is evident that there is
a growing dissatisfaction with the
working of this branch of the order.
In some instances these state agencies
have proved to be" middlemen" in dis
guise, more unscrupulous thin even
the most avaricious dealers.
L UMBER!
L 'JL J
B
Cottonwood Lumber of
D Q p
CAN RK HAD AT
WM. EDGERTONS
AT-
NOW IS THK TIMFi TO BUILD
UP, OR FIX UP.
STTlPlT CLE A X I XG .
Apply at the Mill, or at Dr. W. E.
Donelan's Drug Store,
MAm St., PLATTSMOUTE, NEB.
Mr. Editor: I want the yuse of '
you re voalyuable paper to xpres my
idees about street cleauin. I a'int
much of a writer but I can see good
smell good and think a heap. Down
on Mane street a ways there is a pump.
It leeks water as all pumps will, every
body waters at that there pump and it
makes a mud hole fro. i there down
the street. Xow the people complain
and say when they ask the city to
open the gutter and lead the water off
they are told to do as they did in Jer
usalem or some other old fogy city like
this one. Each man in Jerusalem may
hev kept his own door yard clean, we
have their word for it, but we have no
word that Jerusalem had a city coun
cil that levies :i mills tax and street
cotnmishener to prevent no help
draw it. The people in East Main St.,
did'nt put that pump there, don't make,
that slop there, and they want it
cleaned. If this pump and this stink
ing gutter was up town under the
nose of the Post Otlice or the Bank or
some gentry tip there, it would be
ch aael fast enough, So:
Down Town.
We have been informed that we
have, together with other great and
meritorious individuals about town
been elected an "Ornary" memler of
the Plattsmouth Base Ball Club, the
officers of which appear elsewhere.
Thank you boys, when we get wearied
with life we shall come out and let
you have a "shy" at us witli ball or bat.
If somebody connected with the
.street department would make a point
to drive the epikes down in the old
wooden pavement about town it would
save the tiail. of many a womans dress
and yards of skirt braid.
As the cows and mules are likely to
be shut up now su they can't run across
the walks, and break the boards all up,
perhaps it -would pay to put :t ;iew
plank in some of them before some
body breaks a leg.
There's a fellow 'round Xebniska
City by the name of lteidz. an awful
thief; lie has stolen everything they
have there, the plow facte ry, wagon
shop, banking house &c, &c. lie goes
in for heavy articles generally and now
proposes to try a hotel or a foundry,
maybe a newspaper. lie particularly
affects, of late, the residence of Hon.
J. Sterling Morton. He stol - J.iy's
shot gun and an old pair of eialls
(Tor wadding) and if J. S. M. was home
no doubt Bentz would try hi:? hand on
him. He's a tanner is this Bentz, all
Nebraska City is out after him with
revolvers, shot guns, young cannon,
bayonets and squirt guns. Bentz
still ahead. May require to send ui
here for Paul next week to run an ex
press engine down to try and oveitake
Bentz.
The Indians complain at the preva
lent fashion of short hair as a personal
insult.
The feet that are covered wi'h ban
ions may not be stylish, but I!:..- -'.re
j certainly nobby.