Nebraska Newspapers

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"7 n mn attempts to haul down the American Flag, shoot him on the spot."
VOL. 4.
PLATTSMOUTH, NEBRASKA, THURSDAY, MARCH II, 1SC9.
JSO. 40.
IS
I
THE HERALD
IS PCULISUED
WEEKLY,
Br
II. D. HATHAWAY,
EDITOR AND PROPRIETOR.
VS"0!3;e corner Mai street and LeTee, second
torr.
Terras: $2.50 per annum.
Hates of Advertising
O is square (space often lines) otie insertion, tt.iO
Eru subse luent iasertion - - 1.00
P rcfe-imal cards not exceediosr six U 10 00
O H'-qjarter column or less, perannnm 35. 0i
' six months 20 CO
" thr'-e months 15.00
O ie half column twelve crontus 60.00
" " six months 85.00
" three months 20. on
Ojecilamn tsrelre months - loO.OO
six months - 60.00
" tliree months - - .00
A !! '.ra-ixient ilverti-ements mut be p orln
ad . nice.
- We sre prepared to do all kinds of Work
n atort notice, and in a stylethat will satis
faction. 7ILLITT P0TTENGER.
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
PLATTSMOUTII - - NEBRASKA.
T. 31 .TIASSIVETT,
ATTORNEY AT LAW
Solicitor ia Chancery.
PLAT rSMOUTII, UK ASK A
s. t:oo v t: it ,
ATTOnSEV AXD COUNSELOR AT LAW.
lMattsmnutli, Scb.
- wj'ili buy and sell Real Etat.e, ami pay taxes f r
W n.-.n-resid' nts.
I inprored aud uuirr roveJ Ian.la and lots for sale,
Jae 2 jih nfiv 1.
II. R LIVINGSTON, LI. D.
Physician and Surgeon,
Tid-rs hi professional services to the citizens of
asscoupty.
. fy liid"nce south-east corner nfOsk and .Sixth
streets; Oilice on Main street, opposite Court House,
I'l itt-raouth, Jiobriika.
Platte Valley S2ou.se
Ed. B. Muri-uy, Proprietor.
Corner of .M tin and Fourth Streets,
iIaltmu!li, !el.
ThlslIoue haviv.a b -en re n't -.1 and newly ftir
. i. ned .-aVrs firt class nc:nuiiii"datiuus. 1J. ird ty
ne Jay or wveb. mri
ATTORNEY AT LAW
AND
General Iiand Agent,
J.h,.;.'n. ... X.hr.nha.
WY.I i.-actiee in ur.y of the C-itrtsof the ?tato, unJ
wi 1 buy and ii il lioal t Site on cywm..iiju, pay
'lax', "'S i'iiiut! Titles, .tc.
M .V-S'oii
4. MAXWELL, SAM. M. CHAPMAS
Maxwell & Chapman,
ATTORN 15 YS AT LAW,
" A"SD
Solicitors in Chancery.
FLATTHilOCTII, - XEBRASKA.
O J e KVtr ll'.ack, Butf ry A CVs Uru Store.
i rl
JOSHPn 0 SCHLATEIi,
WATCHMAKER and JEWELER,
Main Street,
PLATTSMOUTII, - - NEBRASKA
A ,rood assortment of Watches Olo v UM Pen".
J wciry, nilver Wtc', Fane-- tjw Violins and i
oliu Tritninino always on hand. All work com
milled to bis care will be warranted.
April 10, ISiiS.
Flattsmouth EVlills.
C. IIEISi:L, Proprietor.
Uavc r. ceutly li"en repaired and placed in thor
ough, running order. Custom work done ou short
notice.
100,000 Bushels of Wheat
Wanted immediately, for which the highest marke
riice will be paid. Uj2d '
J. N. WISE,
lieneral Life, Accuicnl, Fire, Inland and
Transit
J.IJs3TJRA2-TOE!
Will take rijksat rea-J inatlerat"sin the most reliabl
o.Jilatiies in the United Mates.
Otlice at the book store, Pla firouth. Nebras-
uiayiltlif
-taitlincry &, Wrcsnialiins,
m MISS a. it . dspai Mn. n. r. Kkhskdt
Opposite Ihe City Baktry.
7E wonld respectfully announce to the Ladies
V of l'lattsniouth and vicinity, that we havejust
received a large and well selected stock of Winter
Uood Cfnsi-iing nf Flowers, Ribbons, relvsts, dres
trlruminp, e., c. We will seil the cheapest poods
ever sold in thisci-y. We can accommodate all our
-old customers and as many new ones as will favor us
with a call. All Icin Is of work in our linn done to
urder. Perfectjatasfaction given or nocharges.
my5tf
HEALTH, GOMFOIU, AND
ECONOMY, '
3 REASOXS FOR BOARDIXG
with
gec. w. colvix,
OAK STREET, - - - PLATTSMOCTB
Two blocks northwest of Brick School-Uouse.
HE has a BATH Ioi'SE, free to patrons; his
rooms are Weil veatilated, and bis prices are
reasonable. Julyio nlfiU.
Capt. U. L1DOO & CO.,
Wholesale and Retail Dealers in
Wines and Liquors.
Also a very choice selection of
Tobacco and Cigars,
Main street, -!onl door" eit of Seymour House,
Nebraska City, Nebraska.
Arejust receiving a new stock of Genuine Old
ttmixbm direct from Itoarbon county, Ky., Bitter,
st. my IS w
Complluientary ftesolutiou.
The following is the complimentary
resolution which passed the House
unanimously, on thu occasion of Speak
er Colfax's resignation, and his fare
well remarks:
Resolved, That the retirement ot
Hon. Schuyler Colfax from ih Speak
er's Chair, after a long and faithful
discharge of its duties, is an event in
eur current history which would cause
general regret were it not that the
country ia to have the benefit of his
matured talents and experience in a
higher sphere of duty, to which he has
been called by a majority of his coun
trymen. In parting from our distin
guished Speaker, the House records
with becoming sensibility its high ap
preciation of his skill in parliamentary
law, his promptness of administering
and facilitating the business of this
body, of his utbane manners and oig
nity, and the impartiality with which
he has presided over the deliberations
of this House, he will carry with him
into this new field of duty, and through
life, the kind regard of every member
of this Congress.
Mr. Colfax spoke as follow-: ' Gen
tlemen: The opening of the legisla
tive day, at the cloe of which I must
enter upon another sphere of duty, re
quires me to tender to you the resig
nation of the office which by your kind
ness and confidence, I have held, to
take elTect on the election of a Speak
er for the brief remainder of this ses
sion. The parting words nmong
friends about to seperate are always
regretful ones, but the farewell which
takes me from this Lai! in which so
many years have been spent, excites
in me emotions which would be use.
less for me to attempt to conceal."
After reviewing the eventful hiftory
of the fourteen years of his connection
with the House, and congratulating the
House on the results of the war, the
peaceful condition of the country, and
its proud position among the nations of
the world its military power and almost
inimitable resources exemplified by the
war which developed them, he advert
ed wiih pardonable satisfaction to the
fact that while appeals had been taken
from his decisions while Spenker to
decision had been reversed,and conclu
ded as follows:
"If in the quickness with which a pre
siding oflicer here is often compelled
to rule, hour afier hour.on parliament
ary points, and in the performance of
hi;: duty to protect all members in their
rights to advanca the progress of busi
ness and to preserve order, any word
has fallen from my lips that has justly
wounded any ooe, I desire to withdraw
it unreservedly. I leave this room
with no feeling of unkindness to any
member wiih whom I have been asso
ciated in all the years of the past, hav
ing earnestly tried to practice that les
son of life which commands. us to write
enmi'ies on sand, but to engrave our
friendship on grat:ite. But the last
word cannot be longer delayed; I bid
farewell to the faithful and confiding
constituents whose affectionate regard
sustained and encompassed me through
all the years of my public life; fare
well to the hall which, in its excite- !
meats and restless activities, so often 1
seemed to represent the throbbings
and intense feelings of the national
heart, and finally, fellow members and
friends, with the most sincere grati
tude for the generous support you have
always given me in the difficult and
complex duties of the Chair, and with
warmest wishes for your health, hap
piness and prosperity, one and all, I
bid you larewell.
,
Chicago having done almost every
thing else in the sensational line or
attempted it now proposes to amend
the decalogue. A writer in the Post
recommends as follows, to teachers of
public, private, and Sunday School, "A
new commandment, to be said daily:
Thou shalt not cut, mutilate, or deface
any ornaments, tree, shrubs, or any
thing belonging to thy neighbor; nor
any fountains or works of art erected
for the benefit of the people, to beauti
fy and adorn the city or other edifices;
nor huch thy horse to thy.neighbor's
tree that he may gnaw the fame so
that it die.
A woman in very reduced circum
stances was receutly admitted to the
Poughkeepsie Almshouse. . Shortlyaf
ter a male vagrant was also taken in,
who manifested such an attachment for
the woman that his affection was re
ciprocated, and an elopement planned
and carried out. It Dow appears that
the woman had fallen heir heir to
eome $30,000, and her romantic suitor
had learned of it, procured a commit
ment to the alms house and won the
prize.
Several years ago, when Mr. But-
terworth was Superintendent of the
Assay Office in New York City, his
opinion was asked as to the integrity
of a distnguixhed politician. "He is a
good Democrat," said Butterworth,
"But he is not a safe man to handle
Bullion."
Omaha is cursed with barking curs.
One can hardly take a walk without
stumbling over a vicious and snapping
canine. Omaha limes.
TIIAIWIAGS
Our Eastern, and particularly our
JNew England exchanges are surcharg
ed with the enthusiastic speeches, re
ceptions ani ovations that Geo. Fran
cis Train is now meeting with on his
unparallelel, triumphant lecturing
tour .through the leading cities of the
New England States. The following
resolutions, are read and enthusiastic
aily carried at each of Mr. Train's
lectures. They outrht to be cut out
and posted in a conspicuous position in
every Fenian drill and meeting: hall
in the country. Here they are:
Whejieas, Democratic politicians
hive fooled the Irisli. nullified their
voting power, inflated them with ful
some flattery ani lying tongues previ
ous to election, making them vote free
trade, causing starvation prices for la-
Dor, tnerety assisting .kenglanu in
stamping out Ireland, and impoverish
mg America; and,
Whereas, The Democratic party
has had nothing but "niggers and
whisky ' fur a platform since Jackson s
death' and.
Whereas. The centre of gravity of
all legislative corruption is m the
Treasury, as shown in Downing street,
Tammany and Washington; and,
ii ere as, The Democratic Bourlons
have always placed the Irish in antag
onism to the negro and against reform,
saddling their secession proclivities and
war-a-failure copperheadism upon us;
and, .
WiiEaEAS, They have never done
anything to free Ireland or elevate her
people in America.
Rtsolvtd, That nlthcugh we are strong
enjugh to carryall the canals, railways,
dorks, warehouses, factories, mines,
and all industrial enterprises in the
land, on our backs bearing, as we air
ways do, the burden acting as hew
ers of wood and drawers of water we
cannot longer carry the Democratic
party and Tammany Hall upon our
stomach, it having in its disloyal Free
Trade.Gold-paying, Johnson-Seward-and-Jobnson
Policy made us so sea
sick, we hereby, now and forever,
throw this incubus of corruption over
board. Resolved, That the Fenians in or
ganizing the Know Something Party,
based on Mr. Train's grand ideas, of
taking Ireland out of the clouds, walk
ing erect in policeman's presence, cre
ating a new set of Fitzgeralds and
Emmets, throwing O'Connel overboard,
as either a traitor or a coward, hisstcg
Moriarity and cheering McHale, es
tablishing i a'.her Matthew Secienes,
a - - t I
ai a closing up wa.sky aeus, voting
for American industry, and educat
ing their children in American ideas
are doing more fcr Irish Indendence
than all the organizations ever have to
free their native laud.
Resolved, That the loss of one day's
labor (election day) of one million vo
ters amounts to two million dollars,
and ndding one million more spent on
the Democratic election the Fenians
threw away three million dollars on
Seymour--a sum larger than both
branches of the r enians ever collect
ed, and htlf as much as O'Connel
stole in the repeal swindle, from 1829
to 1S43: that in spite of the Sham
Squire secession, and John Mitchell's
nonsensical attack, the Fenians have
kept the Irish race under discussion,
elevated the people, stopped agrarian
ism, protected American manufac
tures, lost two hundred thousand fight
ing for the Union, disestablished the j
Irish Church, educated . Ireland to
liberty, broken Tammany Hall,'
checkmated Reverdy Joh ison, elected
Grant, thrown Seward and Stanton
out of the new administration, and
made the Irish cause a prominent
question in the cabinets or tne
world. .
Resolved, That a6 we etand by Ca
tholicism,. Catholicism must stand by
Ireland; that the. Mother Cburch must
go hand in hand with Fenian brother
for Fatherland: that sic semper iyrannis
shall be the Fenian cry. ..Delcnda est
Briltani Do or die. - . "
A young roan from the country went
iato a drug store the other day, and
seeing people freely patronizing the
soda fountain, at length stepped up
and called for a drink of "that 'ere'
for himself, r After swallowing the
foaming contents cf the glass, and 1. y-
ing his money with a satisnea Air upon
the counter, be said: "Mister, what do
you call that that bites so ? ' "That is
soda water." ; 'Wall, ' said he,
s'posed it was sweetened wind."
The ether evening a couple of young
men were exhibiting a patent churn in
Canton, ll'inois, when a humorous old
lady averred that the machine was a
humbug. To disprove the assertion,
they offered to mike butter within ten
minutes. The old lady filled the churn,
the patent right heroes set to work,
and tpent two hours in perspiring and
and relieving each other, to no purpose.
before the locutar ' matron informed
them they were churning buttermilk
There is in Lsmbardy a flourishing
cypress tree under whose shade, it is
said, Julius Caesar was wont to recline.
The English appear to be gradually
adopting our convention system for the
nomination of members of Congress.
Ups and Downs In the World
"Sis, bring me a good plain dinner"
said' a tnelatlchuly-lookmg individua
to a waiter at one of the principal ho
tels in a Western State..'
Yes, sir."
The dinner was brought and devour
ed, and the eater called the landlord
aside and thus addressed him:
"You are the landlord?"
"Yes."
"You do a good business here?"
" Yes." fin astonishment.)
"You make, probably S10 a day
clear?"
"Yes."
"Then I am safe. I cannot pay for
what I have consumed; I have been
without employment for seven months.
but have engaged to work to-mcrrow.
had been without food four-and-
twenty hours when I entered your place
I will pay you in a week."
'I cannot pay my bills with, such
. a a.t I II I
promises, blustered tne lanaiora,
and I do not keep a poor bouse.
You should address the proper author
ities. Leave me sometning ror secur
ity." 'I have nothing.
"I will take your coat."
'If I go into the street without thnt,
will get my death such weather as
this."
"You should have the ujht of that be
fore you came in here "
"You are serious? Well, I solemn
y aver that one week from now I'll
pay you."
"1 wi.l take your coat.
The coat was left, and a week after
ward redeemed. v
Seven years after that, a wealthy
man entered the political arena, anu
was presented to a caucus as eu appli
cant for a Congressional nomination.
The chairman of the caucus held his
peace. He heard the name and histo-
f the applicant, who was a mem
ber of the church, and a most respect
able citizen. The vote was a tie, and
he cast a negative; thereby defeating
the wealthy applicant, whom he met
an hour afterward, and to whom he
said:
"You don,t remember me?"
"No."
"I once ate. dinner in your hotel,
and, although I told you 1 was fam
ishing, and pledged" u-.v vot J aid bin-
or to pay you in a weeif, you iook my
coat rnd saw me go out ia the inclem
ent air, at the risk of ny life, without
it."
"Well, Fir, what then?"
"Not much. You caUed yourself a
Christian. To-night you were a can-
idate for nomination, and but fcr me
am 11. f
you would have been elected to con
gress.
Three years after, the Christian ho
tel keeper became a bankrupt. The
dinnerless wretch that was, is now a
high functuary The ways of Provi
a -11 I 1.1
dence are indeed woudertui, and tne
worlds' mutations almost beyond con
ception or belief.
In Vrxo Vrm funny. A core
with a brick in his hat, was surveying
V'rginia rail fence route up Farn-
ham street yesterday afternoon, and
nearing a tobacconist', he gave a lurch
to starboard, which brought him
against the sign in front of the door.
This sign is an elaborate imitation of
an aboriginal female, holding in her
hand a package of basswood cigars.
The: obfusticated individual, thinking
that the statue forgave him for his rude
thumping, and wished to heal differen
ces, in the solacing weed, calmly ob
served the outstretched hand for a mo
ment, and making a profound bow, hic
cupped out, "No, thankee, I d-d-d-don t
smoke, and satisfied that he had done
the genteel thing, he wended his devi
ous way, Omaha Herala.
An
Irishman,.
on
, arriving in this
country, took a fancy . to the lankee
girls, and wrote to his wifs "Dear No
rah: These melancholy lines are to in
ferm . you that I died yesterday, and
I Vl 1
hope you are enjoying toe same oiess
ine. I recommend you to marry Jem
my O'Rourke, and take care of the
childer. From your affectionate hus
band till death."
A shopkeeper purchased of an Irish
woman a quantiy of butter the lumps
of which intended for pounds, be
weighed in the .balance and. found
wanting; "Sure it's your own fault, if
they are light" srid Biddy in reply to
the complaints of the buyer, "it s yocr
own fault, sir, for wasntitwitha
pound of your own soap I bought here
that 1 weighed them f
The other day, in private company,
says an english paper, a medical gen
tleman amused his friends by lighting
cand!eskwith his breath as fast as they
put them out. A cigar, which was
nearly out, being presented to him, he
breathed upon it, and it flared up into
a flame. He subsequently let out his
secret, which was tb.it a short time be
fore he had been irhalirg oxygiu gas
cur prayers ana uoas mercy are
like two tuckets in a well while one
ascends the other descends. 1
Glory is well enough for a rich
man, but it is of ,very little conse
quence to a poor man with a lar:e
family.
Benefit of Being Knocked
About.
It is a good thing tor a young man
to be ''knocked about in the world
though his son-hearted parents may
not think so. All youths, if not all
nineteen twentieths of the sum total
enter life with a surplusage of self
conceit. The sooner they are re
iieved or it the better. It, in measur
ing themselves with older and wiser
men. they discover that it is unwar
ranted, and get rid of tt gracefully, of
their own accord, well and good; if not,
it is desirable, for their own sakes. that
it be knocked out of them. A boy who
is sent to a large echool, soon finds his
level. His will may have been para
mount at home; but school boys are
democratic in their ideas, and if arro
gant, he is sure to be thrashed into a
recognition of the golden rule. Ihe
world is a great public school, and it
soon teaches a new pupil his proper
place. If he has the 'attributes that
belong to a leader, he will be installed
in positon of a leader; if not, whatever
bis opinion of his abilities may be he
will be compelled to fall in with the
rank and hie. If not destined to
greatness, the next best thing to which
he can aspire is respectability; but no
man can be truly eood or truly respect
able who is vain, pompous or overbear
ing. By the time the novice has found
bis legitimate social position, be the
same high or low, the probability is
that the disagreeable traits of his char
acter will be softened, or worn away.
Most likely the process of abrasion will
be rough, perhaps very rough, but
when it is all over, and he begins to
see himself as others see him, and not
as reflected in the mirror of self-conceit.
will be thankful that he has run
the gauntlet aud arrived, though by a
rough road, at self-knowledge. Upon
the whole, whatever loving mothers
may think to the contrary it is a good
thing for youth? to be knocked about
in the world it makes men of them
Under the heading "An eventful
IH;
:ht ' an exchange
ays that while
witnessing a row of somewhat im
mense proportins the other night, the
reporter heard a piercing scream.
Has-tening in its direction he discovered
a ruffian beating a respectable citizen;
while -udea voting to cciet the citizen
be saw two men running rapidy and
tl e police in close proximity, learning
that they were burglars, he joined in
the pursuit, but stopped to assist some
ladies who, returning from a party,
had been overtimed by the mistr.au
agement of a drunken driver; during
the adventure he saw two men carrying
a dead dody, and, while learning the
particulars of the death, heard the a
larni of fire, one of the uptown resi
dences was soon found to be in flames;
rushing thither, he saw a young girl in
an upper window shrieking for aid to
descend; procuring a ladder, he at
tempted her rescue but the ladder
slipped, and he fell to the ground, in
juring himself severely.
Three brothers, bearing a rem-irka-b'e
resemblance to each other, ure in
the habit of shaving at the same barber
shop. Not long ago, one of the broth
ers entered the shop early in the mor
ning, aud was duly shaved by a Ger
man who had been et work in the shop
for a day or two. About noon, another
brother came in, and underwent a sim
ilar operation at the bands of the same
barber. In the evening the third
brother made his appearance, when
the barber dropped his razor in aston
ishment, and exclimed: "Veil, mein
Himmel ! Dat man has de fastest beard
I ever saw. I shaves him dis morning;
shaves him at dinner times; and he
cooms now back
mit his beard so long
as never vas."
A man who was noted for his in
tensely slovenly habits, on starting
from home for a short journey, was re
minded by his wife that she bad packed
six new, clean shirts in his trunk, and
made himpromise that he would put one
on every week. On his return, his la
dy overhauled his baggage, and was
startled at the absence of the shirts
which she had so carefully "done up"
for her husband. Calling his attention
to the discovery, she inquired what had
become of the shirts.
"Shirts, eh? Oh, yes! You see, you
told me to put one on every week; well,
I've got the whole six on my back
now
t "
It is a fact perhaps not generally
known, but interesting to young men,
that the solitary ringlet, which floats
from so many waterfalls, is a notifica
tion on the part of ihe wearers that
they are not engaged. If it is ex
tremely long the weerer i3 supposed to
be very desirous of getting spliced at
once; if only moderately long, it shows
that only good offers will be enter
tained; an extremely short, meager
ringlet indictesthat the wearer is very
particular as to whom she accepts, but
nevertheless shews that she is not yet
engaged.
. A drunken fellow got out of his cal
culation, and was dozing in the street,
when the bells roused him by their
ringing for fire. "Nine, ten, eleven,
twelve, thirteen, fourteen," cried he;
"well, if this isn't later than i ever
knew it to be before!"
Quips. (uirps aud Quodlibets.
Mrs. Partington thinks the pillars of
liberty are stuffed with the feathers of
the American eagle.
What joint of meat is most appropri
ate for an empty ladder A fillet (til!
We like a black eye; we like a blue
one. We don't like a black and blue
one.
A cotemporary thinks that the pub
lic singer that "draws" best is the mos-
queto.
We always respect old age, except
when stuck with a pair of old tough
chickens.
A smile" that forete Is sorrow
the one that you take in the bar room.
There's no harm in a glass of whis
ky if you allow it to remain in the
glass.
The pleasantest husbandry is the
destroying of weeds widow's weeds.
Unmarried ladies with independent
resources should husband them.
Why is love like a canal ? Because
it is an internal transport.
Why was .Lve rot afraid of the mea
sles ? Because she'd Adam.
What is taken from you before you
get it ? Your photograph.
Lovers, like armies, get along well
enough till engaged.
Carpets are bought by the yard,
and worn by the foot.
why is a riot like a dumb man?
Because it's emeule.
A spacious piece of furuiture A
table of distances.
One of the heaviest real estate own
ers of Brooklyn, N. Y., is p profession
al burglar, residing in Williamsburg.
He is the father of a large and es
teemed family, all leading exemplary
ives and moving in good society. It
is said that the children have no knowl
edge of the father's character, and he
is very particular as to their morals,
compelling the younger ones to attend
Sunday School regularly.
The model father, but bad citizen,
operates in distant cities.
Diluted. A party of men were sur
veying for a railrnad, and or course
they were entitled to the best there
was along the line. At one house they
thought the proprietor a little tctrdy in
prodcing the cider. It came at last,
and was tasted by one of the party with
deliberation, "How mu-li cider did
'ou make this year? 1 he asked. I if-
een barrels," was the answer. An
other sip. "Well, if you had another
pp!e, you might have made anoiher
barrel.
An inveterate tolacco chewer was in
the habit cf declaring, about once a
mouth, that he would never chew an
other piece," but broke his pledge as
often as he made it. On one occasion,
shortly after he had "broken off for
good," he was seen to take another
chew. "Why," said his friend, "you
told me that you had given up that habit,
but I see you are a: it again." "Yes."
he replied; "I hare gone to chewing,
and left off lying.
A traveller on a Jersy railroad,
while entering Bergen tunnel, thought
he would have a good opportunity, in
the darkness, to change bis shirt. So
unlocking his carpet-bag, he plied busy
hands in puttirg on his garment, and
had just got it over his head, fast tan
gled in his arms, when, to his dismay
and the uproar of the passengers, the
train emerged into broad day-light.
James Spurlock, of Mo., writes to
the journals that he has discoverd "the
centrifugal powers of nature that sus
tain and spread out the starry heavens.
Also, that he will publish a book in
the spring, entiiled "A Philosophy of
Heaven. Earth, and the Millennium.
By a member of the Missouri Bar."
Also, that the book fully demonstrates
Christ's divinity, and proves the resur
rection of the dead to every intelligent
thinker."
The bill in congress changing the
boundajy of Colorado so as to include
the greater part of the settled portion
of Utah creates alarm at Denver and
other points in Colorado. They seem
to think that in such event the control
of the Territory, for the present at
least, would inevitably fall into the
hands of Prigham Young.
Robert Dale Owen comes out in the
Bos on Advertiser in vigorous opposi
lion to the latest Constitutional Amend
ment, on the ground that it prohibits
discrimination on account of education.
He thinks the amendment ought to be
defeated if proposed to the Legislature
in its present shape.
Receutly, an old man and his wife
from the country attended a concert,
and durinz the singing of "Who Will
Care for Mother Now ! " by a young
lady, the old woman was seen to speak
to her better half, when he arose and
said: "See here, young gal you just
tel! him I'll see to the old woman, if he
kicks the bucket-"
There are at present in the New
York Tombs awaiting trial twelve
murderers, twenty eight burglars and
eight robbers, beside? a mmberless
list of persons incarcerated for minor
offences.
OOICIIA.CE FOB A BOY
The editor of the Erie Gazctle, no
doubt tired of the system of appren-
ticesutp, thus advertises for a boy;
"Wanted, at ibis office, a boy to lake
sheets from the press every Wednes
day aad Saturday afternoon. No lim
its as to salary, and the said boy is to
consider that- the office exists for
his cpecial convenience. If he dont
feel rvell or wants to go fishiDg, or
see match games of base ball, or go
shopping with his girl, or visit his cous
in, the paper will wait his sovereign
pleasure. Anybody who presumes
to criticise his efforts is to be immedi
ately arrested for contempt. All the
boys he knows are to have free run of
the office. The editors iim in ha .
clusively at the aforesaid boy's dispo
sal, oaiary to oe crawn several years
before. A boy possessing these qual
ifications, please report where h rnn
be found, aud at what time a denuta-
lion of printers may call upon him and
respectfully present references of good
character on the part of the office and
its employees. Please write for
,
age-stamps and monogram gih-edced
i
paper.
Mr. Thomas Dutton. of Delnivtirn
County, Pennsylvania, who celebrated
his 100th birthday last Tuesday, is said
to be the only person living who heard
firing of the cannon in Philadelphia on
the4ihot July, 1776. He voted for
Washington and for Grant, and at e.
ery intervening Presidential election.
He stands more than six feet in height,
hut is quite infirm. '
A sentimental editor says: "It ia
comforting to know that one eye
watches fondly for our coming, and
looks brighter when we come." A
cotemporary is grieved to learn that
his "brother of the quill has a wife
with one eye."
A paper published in Kondallville,
Indiana, observes; "If Mrs. Grant
should happen to get the measles, ev
ery fool woman in the country would
put fire red spots on her face, and com
mence taking epsom salts.
A paper mill in which was manufac
tured paper used by Benjamin Frank
lin in his office, is still in operation in
Dehware county, Pa. It is called the
Jay Mill, and was erected as long ago
as 1772. b
Leo Hudson has been arrested iu
Memphis for neglecting to pay hom
age to the internal revenue nn-i nt nn
time seemed likely to loose her horse
and all that was salable of her calves.
Some of the social letters receive 1
in New York, report th engagement
a: Florence cf Jacob Brown, teacher
of English, to Miss Lettie Powers,
daughter of the Fculptor
James M. Shute is a hatter of Sum
erviile, Massachusetts, and when trad 3
is dull writes financial pamphleu,
which he invariabla sends to Grant.
The managers of tha "new move
ment' in Virginia, have postponed the
holding of the State Convention indefi
nitely. The movement may therefore,
be regarded as a failure.
An unsophiiticated elephant lately
undertook to dispute the track with a
locomotive and a train of cars in India.
Result 1 dead elephant, 1 dead man,
and 11 smashed cars.
A commiitee of the Tennessee Leg
islature, appointed to investigate youry
Brownlow, have reported that it wa
superfluous, and esked te be discharged
A member uf the French Parlia
ment invited the electors to take a cup
of coffee with him before ba!iotin.
and his seat is now contested on the
ground of bribery.
An exchange suggests that when
Utah is admitted into the Union, it
should be called the State of Matrimo
ny. ' u t ::
Mary E. P. L. Magoon, of North.
English, Iowa county, Iowa, advertises
herself as an "Attorneyess at Law."
William Morse, organist of St. Pe
ter's church at Marlborough, Eng.,'
threw himself from the church tower
and died in about half an hour.
Eight companies of troops will soon
be forwarded to Arizona, and the
campaign against the Indians will be
pushed with vigor '
A negro flourishing a pistol ia
Natches, Miss., the other day, shot
himself through the heart, and then
gracefully yielded up the ghost"
The steamship Sacramento, on last
Monday, sailed from San Francisco for :
Panama, with 2,000 passengers and
S251.000 in bullion.
The railroad connection between'
Sacramento and San Francisco will bb
complete in time for the first train over
the Pacific Railroad.
Quiggins, who is a bachelor, will
adopt the Grecian Bend during the
Winter nights.
An Irish Citlifornian named Qmina
turns out to be an Irish EarL
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