!
i
"Jf aiiij man attempts to haul doibn the Jlmcrican Flag, shoot him on the spot."
VOL. 3.
PLATTSMOUTII, NEBRASKA, THURSDAY, DECEMBER
5, 18G7.
ISO. 35.
1
THE HERAJLi D
13 PUBLISHED
WEEKLY,
BY
II. D- HATHAWAY,
EDITOR AND PROPRIETOR.
, TyOSSce corner Mai a street and Levee, second
Terms: $2.50 per annum.
Hates of Jldrerttsing
Onesqire (space of tea lines) one Insertion, $1 .50
- c.czi noje ineni insertion - 1X0
Prefer iiul cards nut exceeding six lin-i 10 ou
Oie-quartercolamn orless, perannam 35.00
' six months 20.t'0
" " three months 15 00
Oa half colaBin twelv months 60.00
44 six months 85.00
" three months 20.GO
ae column twelve months - lot). 00
six months ... 6O.0O
three months - - 85.00
All transient advertisements moot be paid for in
advance.
ar We arc pr. pared to do all kinds of Job Work
on short notioe, and In a style that wul give sails-
ISCIIOD.
WILLITT P0TTEKGER.
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
PLATTSMOUTII - - NEBRASKA.
T. itt RZARflUETT,
ATTORNEY AT LAW
Asn
Solicitor in Chancery.
PLATTSMOUTII, - - NEBRASKA
C H. KING
Carpenter and Joiner
CONTRACTOR and BolT-DER,
Will do work in bfB line with n eataess an dL-patc,
upon short notice.
Dr. J. S. McADOW,
nAVIXCJ KETUEN'KD TO ROCK BLUFF3 TO
practice Physic, olfeis his profess ionnl services
to his old patrons and public generally. Particular
attention p.ld to dieae!of tha EYK, A cure guar
anteed i all carablc cases. Charges mod -rate
same as one year do. j12 mC
R. R LIVINQSTOIT, M. D.
Physician and Surgeon,
Tenders his professional services to the citizens of
Cass conoty.
Oak and .Sixth streets; Ollice on Main street, oppo
site Court House, riatumouth, Nebraska.
Platte Valley House
Ed. B. Murphy, Proprietor.
Corner of Miin and Fourth Streets,
IMattsiuoiitli, A'el.
This Ft'iu! having been re fitted and newly far
niched offers first-class accoiiiinodations. Hoard by
the day or week. r"
BURNS & CO.
Poal rs In
DRY GOODS, GROCERIES
AORCl'LTCRAL IXrLEXESTS,
Aad a general assortment of (joods nsual j kept in a
tlrat-tlars country store.
Avoca, Cass Co., - - b.
augl
. MAXWELL, BAM. M. CHAPMAN
Maxwell & Chapman,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
Solicitors in Chancery.
TLATTSMOUTU, - NEBRASKA.
Offlce over Black, Buttery 1 Co's Drug Store,
aprl
CLARKE, PORTER & ERWIN,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
And Solicitors in Chancery,
XAlK ST., OPPOSITE TUB COURT-UOl'SE
PLATTSMOUTII, NEB.
aTLOSD . CLABKB, BB FOBBf T POBTSB,
VIM. w. BKWIif .
tV REAL ESTATE J.GEXCY.S
an34wtr
JOSEPH
SCHLATEB,
WATC3T MAKER and JEWELER,
PLATTSMOUTII, - -' NEBRASKA
A ;ood assortment of Watches CJo-k. Gold Pens.
Jewelry, Silver Ware, Fane toous Violins and Vi
olin Trimmings always on hand. Allwork coin
suit ted to his ear will b warranted.
April ao.ie5.
o. b. Irish, cunnrx St choxtos,
lot Sup t Indian Afiirt. J Attorney at Law
IRISH, CALHOUN & CR0XT0N.
Tha above ntmed Bentlmen nave associated
'themselves In business for the parpoee of prosecut
ing and collecting all claims ataiust the General
Government, or againtt any tribe of Indians, and
are prepared to prosecute Buch claims, either before
Concerts, or anT of the Departments of Government
or before the Court of Claims,
Ma. laisa will devote- hi personal attention to
the business at Washington. '
53 dies- at Nebraska Crty, corner of Main and
Ftfkh streets.
. ADLRB,
B A.FEtSEMAH.
S. ABLER &, CO.,
4YD DISTILLERS,
IV-aVrs in all kinds of Foreiirn and Domestic.
WINES, LIQUORS AND CIGARS.
2T0. U, EAST SIDE MARKET SO. CARE,
St. Joseph, Mo. . -
oa23 It - ' ' -
National Claim Agency.
WASHINGTON. D- C
F. M. DORRINOTON,
6CB AGENT:
TLATTSMOUTU, - - NEBRASKA,
tt prepared to present and rrosecule claims before
Consrress, Conrt of Claims and the Deps. lnients. Pa
tents, PenHiont, Bonnt es, and Bounty Lands se.
eared i'gChares moderate, and in proportion to
ths amiui.t of the claim. . V. M. UOKALNUTON.
April 10, "66
J. N. WISE,
General Life, . Accident, Fire, Inland and
Transit
INSURANCE AGENT
Will tike rk-at rea5on.ablerat'rsinthe most reliable
so iipanx s in the United States.
fOSee at tht book store, Pla frrwith; Nebrss
... nuy21dtf
uuLU as a STANDARD OF
VALUE.
Many persons fall into the singular
error of accepting the mint stamp of
gold as the measure of its value, and
assume tha the value of gold as a cir
culating medium is fixed by the Gov.
ernment. They mistake names for
things, and because gold is used as cur
rency, get into the habit of always re
garding it as currency. The nrme
wnicu tne uovernment gives to coin9
made of gold being a measure of its
value as currency only, not a a com
modity, men are s'ow to perceive that
this measure of value is only certain in
its relations with the coinage of the
country but fluctuates as to everything
else. The name and the weight of the
coin remain unchanged '. but the value
is determined by the supply of and de
mand for the article for which one
would exchange it. Those who look
at it as currency, perceiving that all
nations find a mixed currency of paper
and metal necessary for business pur
poses, argue that the Government,
having the power to stamp the money
of the country with an oruitrary valua
tion, may just as well stamp paper as
gold, and that such a currency will be
as good as gold. In reality the miut
price of gold has nothing to do with us
real value. In so far as its real value
is concerned, the number of coins
which the mint makes out of an ounce
of cold is utterly unimportant
Whether sixteen dollar pieces, or an
eagle, half-eagle, and dollar, there is
still but the ounce of gold, merely cut
into convenient pieces for circulation.
Goid being of comnioi usage and Gov
ernment action adopted as a standard
of value, cannot measure itself as well
as other things which are measured by
their relation to it. As a commodity
the valus of gold is determined by sup
ply and demand, while as a coinage it
establishes a measure to show the va
riations in the supply and demand of
ail uuier coiijiucrJiiioo. Its ad jpiaDUUy
for this purpose is shown by its homo
geniousneas and portability, its limited
supply, and the labor required to pro
cure it. Whether obtained in the Ural
mountains or the mines of California;
whether dug out by the slaves of Bra
zil or washed out of "Afric's golden
sands;" whether blasted from quartz
quarries in Montgomery county, Mary
land, or brought to light by North Car
olina freedmen, there is little doubt that
the aggregate labor bestowed upon it
is sufficient to produce an aggregate
value equal to the gold in other kinds
of products.
In order to realize this more fully
let us put the whole product of gold in
the world into a given space, and see
what a trifling amount of room it occu
pies. All the boasted wealth obtained
from'California and Australia would
go into a safe ten, feel square, so small
is the cube of yellow metal that has set
populations on the march and occasion
ed such wondrous revolutions in the
affairs of the world. The total value
of gold in the world at the present time
is about equal to the amount of our na
tional debt a little upward of S3j000,
000,000. If melted into ignots, all the
gold coin in the world might be con
tained in a room twenty four feet square
and sixteen feel high.
The notion of dispensing with the
precious metals in domestic calculation
reposes on ignorance of the part played
by them in the markets of the world.
From the universality of demand for
them a minute difference in their value
immediately acts upon them, and. by
re-establishing their equable distribu
tion renders them capable of express
ing values in all countries in terms of
themselves,, and' thus furnishing the
community with the apparently simple
results of price lists, which are in ef
fect ahort and compendious summaries
of a series of facts that could by no
other means be so clearly stated.
Suspensions of specie payments are
nevertheless sometimes a necessity and
of great serrice,' yet' if too- long contin
ued, tend to unsettle values. An irreT
deemable paper currency supplies the
place of gotd as a circulating medium,
in which character the gold goes else
where. Although -it is a commercial
commodity, yet the practical uses to
which gold is applied are governed by
habit or usage. ' Hence'- men are so
accustomed to .' regard gold as money
ony, that,' when it is supplanted by , a
paper representative of money,' they
send their gold across the sea and
spend it as money in foreign countries
Being driven out of circulation at home,
it enters into circulation abroad. The
effect of thus giving foreign merchants
more gold as a circulating medium
tnan iney nave been accustomed to is
seen in the increased price of foreign
commodities, and also the condition of
the European money market. Wash
ington Chronicle.
XEUIIASKA.
The soil of Nebraska is not surpass
ed in fertility by that of any other
State. It Is light, porous and deep, so
that in wet weather the water readily
passes off, while m draught the roots
sink deep and attract the moisture from
below. We are well supplied with
running'streams and springs hardly a
farm can be found that has not a good
supply. It has been supposed lhat Ne
braska would sutler for the Vant of
timber. A few years experience has
shown that by keeping out the annual
fires, timber will spring up on our
prairies, and that it grows wi:h such
rapidity that it is ready for fence posts
and fire wood in a few years.
Our climate is temperate; last year
winter did not commence until in Jan-
uary and the river opened and plowing
commenced early in March and this
fall thus far the weather is mild and
balmy. With two or three exceptions
since Nebraska was settled the winters
have been temperate, mild and dry-
so much so that the farmer devotes al
most the entire year to his crops, thus
cultivating more land and increasir
its products corn, wheat, rye, oats,
barley, buck-wheat, sorghum, hungari-
an grass both bweet and Irish pota -
toes and all varieties of garden vegeta-
bles crow in great perfection and
abundance.
The warm dry atmosphere and looe Ten men, armed with these ugly im
warm soil is peculiarly adapted to the plements of offense, plunged them into
culture of era?.
W ild and dou...: r. 0 a
are produced in great quantity.
Nebraska as a stock raising country
is not surpassed in the world sheep
thrive on the high prairies, and our
cattle, horses and mules are equal to
those raised in any of the States.
We have railroads running so as to
afford us easy access to the markets,
east, west, north and south, and during
nine months of the year the Missouri
river gives us the advantage of cheap
freights by steambeats. We have
good schools and churches.
Such are &feu of the advantages
offered by Nebraska. To our
fellow citizens of the older States
who wish to secure homes in the west,
we say: come and see for yourselves.
Press.
JSA man named Spencer, and
wife, residing in Paulsboro, N.J., who
appears to be of the highest respecta
bility, and said to be worth two hundred
thousand dollars, were arrested on
Friday on the affidavit of Col. Wood,
chief detective, charged with being the
chief of a gang of counterfeiters, who
issued the spurious 7-thirties. Mrs.
Spencer paid forty thousand dollars,
cash down, to bail herself and husband
Several other parties, reported to be
very wealthy, are suspected to be con
nected in the affair. Their establish
ment is in Paulsboro, and has been in
operation since 1865, and it is estima
ted that the parties have netted mil
lions of dollars. The spurious plates
are not made from lead impression, but
from the genuine plates, secured by
confederates in Washington.
All the parties engaged have be
come wealthy. They visited different
parts of the country.' Government o
ficers have been dispatched to arrest sent's a city giving, fifty or sixty thou
them. ' Snencer owns a majmificent sand Democratic majority, invited with
house in Philadelphia.
i t"Senator Corbett, the new Re
publican Senator from Oregon, is a na
tive of Massachusetts. He went to Ore
gon in 1850 where, as a merchant and
financier, he. has acquired a fortane and
a popularity unequaled by any other cit
izen of that young State. The Albany
Evening Journal predicts that, as a po
litical financier, he will take high rank
in Congress.
: 153 Some one observed,- ''matches
are made' in' heaven." ' "Yesj', re
plied another, "and they are dipped in
the dth'er place."' ' '' ' ' ' '
SUDJUGATIXG A!V ELEPHAXT,
I Tuesday of last week, a Cincinnati
paper says, a circus elephant, 3G years
I 10,000 pounds weight, and named
Tippoo Saib, while in Winter quarters
Connorsville, Indiana, became unru
ly on nccocnt of a change of his
keeper, and weat to war against al
mankind. He would allow no one in
his quarter?, and struck at -everybody
who approached him with his trunk
and tusks most violently. His keeper
determined to subdue him. and the
process and result are thus describe d
The new keeper, with nine assistants
had fully equipped himself with chains
and cables for tyinsr, and spears and
pitchforks for subdain? Tinpoo
The
first thing done was to fasten a brick
bat to the end of a rope and throw
it
over the end of the tusk chain, which
latter is fastened to one leg and one
tusk. 13y means of this rope, a 2U-tun
cable chain fformerly used to subdue
the famous Hannibal,) was slipnoose
around the tusk. Next, an excavation
three feet deeD was made under the
sill of the house, and while the ele
phant's attention was attracted to the
other side of the room by a Dail of wa-
ter poured into his through, the cable
I
chain was passed through the excava-
tion and fastened to heavy stakes out-
side. All this time the infuriated
monster struck all around him with ter
rible ferocity, and tugged at his chain
with incredible momentum. Tha next
thing accomplished was the snaring of
his hind less. This was consummated
by the slinging of fresh ropes around
those two stately pillars of elephant
bone and muscle, and finally, by the
stealthy strategy of the keeper and an
t ether man, these ropes were listened
to stumps outside. The elephant was
now sufficiently pinioned to allow the
I order "charge pitchforks," to be given
the rampaffinrr beast. -,"-
I vuu1jv, m mum yeuetrating his eyes or
joints. The tenderest spot in an ele
phant, is just behind his fore legs, and
that locality was prodded unmercifully.
By means of a hooked spear sunk in
his back, Tippoo was brought to his
knees, but he surged up again with
6uch awful strength that he swept his
tormentors off their feet and made his
chains whistle like fiddle-strings
After an hour's fighting he was bro't
down on his side, but for two hours
longer he tugged at his chains with
frenzied obstinacy. He pulled so hard
at times that his hind legs were straight
out behind him, and three feet off the
gropnd. At the end of the three hours
ifce giant gave in by trumpeting, which
is the elephant's way cf cryiDg enough.
The moment this peculiar cry was
' heard the battle ceased. The keeper
made Tippoo get, up and lie down a
! number of times, and he was as obedi
ent to the word of command as a gen-
tie pony. The animal was then
groomed and rubbed off with whisky.
He allowed all manner of liberties
without so much as flapping an ear.
He was a subjugated elephant. .
jg2f"Mosby tho guerilla rebel rob
ber, who patrolled the roads in Mary
land and Virginia, and stopped the rail-
road trains and made unarmed men
deliver up their watches and purses,
and defenceless women hand over their
diamonds; and jewelry, ' appeared the
other day in the new York Gold Room.
This Gold Room is the very holy of
holies of the New York money grab
bers, of whom the Chairman of the
National .. Copperhead Committee,
Au'guste Belmont, is chief, and this
conclave of the aristocratic element of
New York, which cntrols and repre-
shouts of gratulation this rebel robber
to the seat of honor in the Gold Room.
: Mosby is a fair embodiment of what
I the Democracy hold in highest honor.
ESj'Here I can't pass you." said
the door-keeper of a western theatre.
'You needn't to pass me," said; the ir
repressible dead-head whom he ad
dressed; "just you stand where you are
aDd I'll pass you.". And he passed. .
ESS"?Clever old man, (to blubbering
urchin) "What a the matter, sonny f
What do you. wantl . ;l r .
Utile ; boy, ( pettishly )-r-"Lei me
'lone. : I got the beller ache -that s
what I want.""' ' :: !i '"''-'' u':: ' r
THE VISIT OF DICIS.EAS.
At the farewell dinner given iu Lou
don by his friends to Mr. Dickens, the
latter thus alluded to his former visit to
the United States and to the present
one. Readers of the great author need
not be told how perfect'y like himself
is that closing '.'God bless every one
"Twelve years ago, when Heaven
knows I little thought I should ever be
bound upon the voyage which now lays
before me, I wrote in that form of my
writings which obtains by far the most
extensive circulatien, these words of
the American nation: I know full well.
whatever little motes my beamy eyes
may have descried in theirs, that they
are a kind, large-hearted, generous
and creat people.' (Hear.) In lhat
faith I am going to see them again; in
that faith, I shall, please God, return
from them in the spring; in that same
faith to live and die. I told you in the
beginning that I could not thank you
enough, and Heaven knows I have
most thoroughly kept my word. (A
augh.) If I quote one other short
sentence from myself, let it imply all
that I have left unsaid and yet mostdeep
ly feel. Let it, putting a girdle round
the earth, comprehend both sides o
the Atlantic at once is this moment,
and say, as Tiny Tim observes, 'God
bless us every one!'" (Loud' and
continued cheers.)
Massachusetts Statistics. The
Secretary of State has recently pub-
ished' the "Abstract of the Census Of
1865," which contains a vast amount of
valuable statistical information relating
to the State of Massachusetts. As re-
gards population per square mine, it is
now and has always been first araonff
the States of the Union; the number
pers'juare mile in lSbl) being 157.83
nhabitants. The population of. the
state to-day is 1,281.7000; in 1865 it
was 1,267,031; males, 602,010; fe
males, G6-5.020; showing an excess of
oo vuu icmaies uvci mu uumu
males. Of the total population 82S,
G were natives of the State. The
foreign element is relatively most nu
merous in Suffolk County, where 33-12
per cent, of the whole population are
foreign born. The number of dwel-
ings was returned as 203,699. Of
the 10,167 colored persons in Massa
chusetts, 2.34.S are found in Boston,
and 1,517 in New-Bedford, and in 53
towns there is no colored person. The
argest numbers in the table of occupa
tions of females are domestics, 27,393;
operatives, 20,152; and teachers, 6,050.
Eartii's Curiosities. At the city
of Medina, in Italy, and about four
miles around it wherever the earth h
dug. when the workmen arrive at a
distance of sixty-three feet, they come
to a bed of chalk, which they bore with
an auger five feet deep. They then
withdraw from the pit before the auger
is removed, and upon its extraction the
water bursts up through the aperture
with great violence, and quickly fills
the newly made well, which continaes
uil, and is affected neither by rains or
drouth. But what is most remarkable
in this operation is the layer of earth
as we descend. At the depth of four
teen teet are round the ruins or an an
cient city paved streets,' houses, floors,
and different pieces of mason work.
Astonished Red Men. A band
of Indians made a sudden attack on a
i
etachment of soldiers in the mount
tains. The soldiers had a mountain
i
howitzer mounted on a mule. Not
having time to tanre it on and put m
position, they backed up the mule : and
et drive at th Indians. - The bad was
so heavy that mule and all went tumb'
ing down the hill toward the savage's,
who, not understanding that., kind of
warfare, fled like deer. Afterwards
one of them, was captured and asked
why he'ran soV replied: "Me big In
in,, uot afraid of little guns or big guns,
but when white man load up and fire a
whole jackass at Injin me don't know
what to do." -
Tub LocalVPafeb. An exchange
very truthfully remarks,, that whether
they will or not, a local paper is their
representative abroad, their ambassa-
or m foreign parts; i by which they
must be judged. Let them therefore.
take a patriotic ; interest in giving it
news, co-operation ana patronage.
ike every - other duty performed, -it
will be' their gam io. due time.'" ,:
C.iSES IX FOIST.
The deliberate judgment cf Con
gress as to the principles upon which
States should be organized, was ex
pressed in the bills for the admission
of Nebraska and Colorado. Both
those acts contained a proviso that the
people of the States should insert a
clause in their Constitutions making
suffrage impartial. It was not requi
red to be indiscriminate or universal,
but to be conferred upon all on the
saiue conditions, without exclusion be
cause of race or color.
lhe .Nebraska bill was passed over
President Johnson's veto, and the peo
pie of the. State accepted the condition
it imposed. The Colorado bill having
been vetoed likewise, failed of passage
in the Senate.
Such were the principles which
Congress deemed sufficiently republi
can and progressive when applied to
Free States of the North. Is there
any good reason why it should be
deemed injustice to carry out the same
idea or equal rights in
civil governments at the South.
JgrS?To Miss Edgeworth, Mrs. Sid-
dons relates an incident in her career
which was worth going a long way to
hear from her own lips; ''She gave us
the history of her first act'ng of Lady
Macbeth, and of resolving in the sleep
scene to lay down the candlestick, con
trary to the precedent of Mrs. Prit-
chard and all the traditions, before she
began to wash her hands and say,
Out, vile spot!" Sheridan knocked vio
lently at her door during the five min
utes she had desired to have entirely to
herself, to compose her spirit before the
play began. He burst in, and prophe
sied that she would ruin herself forever
if she -persevered in the resolution to
lay down the candle stick. She pre
sisted however in her determination,
succeeded, wa applauded and Sheridan
begged her pardon. She described
WCll IUC an ... , j. ,
excitement given to her by the sight
of Burk, "Fox, Sheridan and Sir Joshua
Reynolds in the pit.
BSFDuring a recent revival, a very
reverend clergyman? accosted a young
brother with the solemn question:
"My"young friend, have you prayed
to-night for the salvation of your ira
mortal soul?''
"No Sir," answered the youth in a
penitent tone and with a downcast
look.
-'Do you not desire to offer up thanks
for the many mercies you have already
received by Divine favor?"
"Yes, but I don't know how," hesi
tatinglyjmswered the youth.
"But, my dear boy, you can repeat
ihe publican's prayer, can't you?" an
swered the minister, gravely.
"No sir," was the emphatic response;
xYm a Democrat
SrThe Chicago Tribune cf Thurs
day, shows how prizefighting is made
a paying business to parlies, no matter
who is victorious: ; ...
'Something like 1,800 men y ester
day paid five dollars each for railroad
tickets to witness a dirty prize fight be
tween a couple of brutes of the genus
homo. The railroad company charg
ed, perhaps, fifty dollars per car, or say
$700 for the. train... This would leave
about $3,000 - to divide among the
bruisers,' backers, and blacklegs, whp
got up the atiair. Here we discover
the chief incentive of the principals and
their aiders.and abettors, for arranging
and" placing; the performance on ; the
"turf." -, It. vast. regarded as an unli
censed "amusecieat," tickets five dol
lars, and two-dollars for "reserved
seats.''- The expense of this entertain
ment was defrayed by the . audience;
and so long-a3; one or two thousand
fools can be. "found to waste a day and
give five dollars apiece for a show of
this sort, there will be no lack of actors
willing to perform for half the receipts
of such "paying houses."
SrThe German citizens of, the
United States are now preparing for a
great international festival of rifle, clubs
and musical societies of all countries,
to be held in ihe ciiy of New York
next summer. lLis expected that at
j the least calculation one hundred thou
sand Germans will. unite- in the varied
exercises of shooting,' gymnastics and
i music.
E""A Chinaman in San Francisco
met a prominent Democrat the : other
day in the streets of that city and said"
to him: "Say, what for Haight he no
hkee Chinaman? He Govnor now; he
makee all Chinamen leave, you tinkeo
so? What for all Democlat ellee time
talkee dam Chinaman? Chinaman
allee same Democlat, no likee nigger,
do likee Injun. Bime by Chinaman
vote allee same Melhcan man, I guess'
so, what you tiukf Democlat heap
taxee Chinaman ten dollars one month,
no can pay too muchee !" The
"Democrat's" reply is not given.
J&sSThe wine interest of California
comes more conspicuously into notice-
every year Iu that Elate, 1000 vines
are planted upon ona acre of ground,
and after the lapse of four years theso
vines yield one half gallon of wine
each or five hundred gallons of wine to
the acra. The whole number of vines
in California at the end of the year
1865 is reported to have been 40,172,-
659. The aggregate value of wine
manufactured
in 1866 was 335,330,-
000.
g?The Louisville Courier 13 not
so certain Bince .Lieutenant General
Sherman's St. Louis speech that he is
the man for the Conservatives to run
for President. The difficulty is Sher
man spoke disrespectfully cf the "Lost
Cause," and is not a Conservative.
The identification of Conservatism with
the lost cause is highly cheering.
JE$sTA modern amizon, on her way
to a convention, asked for a seat in a
crowded car. An old gentleman with
een eyes, inquired. "Be you one of
the women righterst" "I be!' answer
ed the undaunted heroine. -'Do you.
believe that a woman has the same.
rights as a man?" ".I do!" (emphati
cally.) "Well, then, stand up end en
joy them like a man!"
O O -
Ee&F"An infamous transaction was
brougut to ugm ou me -premises oi
Hugh Carson, in Westerfield, Henry
county, III., one day last week. The
body of an infant was found in a man
ger bundled up and labled with a fivo
dollar greenback" pihn&d to it with di
rections. . The infant had died of star
vation before it was found,: as ihe
stable where it was left was no: in use.'
S?"The Saturday Review tells a
story of an English clergyman, who,
mislead by the prevalent printing of
certain Scriptural words in Italic, read
in a sonorious voice, with undue em
phasis: "And he spake to his eons,
saying, 'Saddle me the ass.' And
they saddled him." , .
J5I enjoy a good laff one that
rushes out of a man's soul like the
breaking up uv a Sunday school; but a.
laff that comes to the surface as tha
hickups come, or backs out ov a man
like theV.rilggles or a chickeri choked
with a chunk of half wet doe, I utterly;
lament.
B"The latest improvement in stock
is a new breed of cats in Vermont,
which have tails only an inch long.
The advantages claimed for such tails
are, that they cannot get under a rock
ing chair or be stepped upon, and that
the door can be closed quicker when
they go out. .......
S?"I say, Sambo, does you know
what makes de corn grow so fast when
you pat de manure on it ?' , ,"No, I
don't, hardly."; 'Now, I'll just tell ye."
When de corn begins to smell de man
ore, it don't like de fumery, s) hurries"
out of de ground, and sits up as high '
as possible so as not to breathe de bad
air." '
EST" Why are women like churches f '
Firstly, because there is no living witix-
out one; secondly, because there is
many a-spire to them; thirdly, because
they are objects of adoration; .and
lastly, but .by no. means leastly, be
cause they have a load clapper in their
upper-story.
S"It is a' good thing to have util
ity and beauty combined.' as the poor
washer-woman said, when 'she used
her children for chothes-pms. '
JSJrHThe -Tribune's special sdj's
Stanton does not desire a reinstallment, -
but : wants Congress to take action to
rebuke the President. Gen. AverilPs
name: is being pressed for the war
(office-;-:. -. J r -r.'.. : . '
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