r
rf
"Jf any man attempts to haul doicn the American Flag, shoot him on the spot ." John A. Dix.
n
i
if
VOL. I.
THE HERALD
IS PL'Pt.I?HED EVEKT
WEDNESDAY MORNING,
H. D- HATHAWAY,
EDITOR AND PROPRIETOR.
"Office corner Jlsia street and Levee, second
;jry.
Terms: '?'2.50 per annum, invariably
in advance.
Jtalrs of ldicrtisiit
rf
wet.Ti:.re iM-aC of teo lines) oue insertion,
tnr', mi -"'i'nt insertion -Ti
jf'iMi il ntd' not exceed' n hj lines
OM nu.trt.-r column or Ics l'er annum
nix month
ci t.r-e months
Oa-half -olu"'n tT(.l venu.titJ.it
1 ..V
l. (I
10 HO
Si '"
10. 0
lo.tiO
45.0.1
2.".'U
1 'Hi
S'l no
(.0
tin.
U.l!h
fen column tw.-!v month-
M Cl'i'.
t.'.ree iij'.ri!?i-i
mn-t be j.a.J f-r iu
a-'tJli.e.
V.V'n- inr. 1 to ! . .-.:! k i.l ft J"J Work
6- ,:. ..t i. t..-. :..'. ! ia a :ii.it wi.J give ati-
givectovy.
R. Tl LIVINGSTON, M. D.
Physician and Surgeon,
TtiJ-" ) pr-if--i-nl s-TVioi -k to the citiz'-ns of
CS'ttr'-'v!'-'r-nr.' in Frank Wl.it-V li u'(, Mrwr of
cA I mrii'-on Main stttrct, o-
P:i rJur: li .i.s.-, I'l.if.-r.i. uih, St-l.ra.-k.i.
rILLITT P0TTENGER
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
ttATTS MOUTH - - NEimASKA.
ATTOILNKV AT LAW
AM
Solicitor in Chancery
rLATTSMol'TII, - - NEISU.tSKA.
JCSEril SCIILATEK.
TVATCMAXER and JEVELEU,
Tm.mn Stki.kt,
I'LATTSMOl'TII, - - NKHRASKA.
A r-- a--J
vt'lrv. ! .
ill Tl;-.
niilr.i I.. !ii
A;ir:l !. I"
.- . n IVn
.. Vi..!ins jii.I
W.if, F.ini
n h't'id. Ailu'uik iom
va: :aritirtl.
l.l "
1 1. C fj'xvis,
N OT AMY PUB
)NVF.YAni.'
L I C
rti f-
iiit-.'.-t vat-.-.l. Ac.
. r.ti utf.l to Iik rar will ri ceivo
r.. ;!! Si'i'i t?
!...: .NT.
Aatiunai Claim Agency.
WASH INGTC N D C
F. M. DCRRINGTON,
M'.'J AOtNT:
rLATTSM" l" I'll, - - NKRKASKA,
I. -..1t j.r.'.. -.t .Tl'l IT
r.'- -it .Ti'l T -i n i' i' i.i ims 'r . 'i
. . . . : r ...
C - !, 1
Ml'' I'.-' -
nil. C
I bki .u .:
A. lit I V',
. f i '! ( 'ii - a J.I t ii l-.;trtlil.-iit. 1 a-;;..in.tf-.
:iu.l li unity Liin.N "
' i rir-. ;iv. i.-i 't , a i..! in .r..:...rt ...!l to
t.:.- . i.ti .1. F. M. IiDlliaNiil'ON'
NOTAltY 11T15L1C
COMMISSIONER OF DEEDS
Fire and Life Ins, Ag't,
.-'nt f r ..P.-.-t. .ii !' l:nm ui::iirit i.verntnent,
for si.iiliiT-. tl.t-ir i.li.ws H'l'l niinoi ti.'im. Au-.'nt
for the i -i t li t-.- nr. I ! of l.an-ls an-l f-itv rn.j.cr
t, l.i a-ir.-' - f T -nt .i- rit-, 1'uyi.i- u' .!' Ttx iu all
k.Vt!tnf .N-i r.t.-ka aii.l U'.-lcril I..va. Attenilito
l.ii-i:...-- J. rtnimr t. a ii..-rit-rrti I. an J , Insurance,
Tit I'atn.ir an ' 'If-rf'U -1.' li.V.
5""K--i i-1 t- i l'ii-ni-ii mn iu N Jiraska.
Vi'.;-:ii aih. .. 1., May l.". 1 i".
PLATTE VALLEY
G. W. CROW,
PROP.
I am !r..;ar.(l u furiii-h a'l who inay"fiv..r me
tciih il.-ir atx.M'.iV., With sinci." mea's or
bo.ir.l I v llir fk. j.V.Cli"W.
i',a:i-:ii .utli, Ajir:! 1J, 1
MRS. L. GOLD1NG,
1HACT1CA1,
MID-"YIFEt
Ha. pr:u-Tu''.i -irc--sful' V f..r
il yetrs in St.
l.ou:. a:.l i!i l..-;oniuoitli city.
? -ri.t; i v'. in C- :ii i'l, a I II.
Was eJucHtcil, pro-
S. ' M'.njr 1:3- tnt ntly Wated in tliii city.
l-i.l..-;.- in t!.e u. r.ii-wtst pjrt nft..n.
Juy 1.'. if
TOE. SALE !
Thirty desirable business
and resi-
cane?
il.OTS IN TLATTSMOUTII.
Ten tbousanil acres of prairie and tim
ber LAND IN" CASS COUNTY.
Terms to suit cash purchasers.
I), ir. M HFFLEK.
- -a S. r.3
Krai FMM.. Ai.-.nf,
C urt Hoiine, l'latiMuoutl.
NATIONAL MILLS,
DENVER, C. T.,
WHITTEilORE & C0-, Proprieto
Buy U Vtr-1 i.f L-rain at hic,t market rates. Th-
a.ini.. n of tlir u !o at irrottrs of Nehrafka u call'-d
to tl-e ; eitor l...-:l:ti- afforded them by tlieso mills
la conv.- t..-..- ii.to tah the h.at intended for the
Colra io mrk t. HU(. 5,m8
FOR SALE.
Eight or Ten Tliorough
frt'l American
MERIKO RAMS
Tiey were hred ty J. S. Va:k-r, Wyominp County,
1 a':'' ry h:s famous old btock-bnek
Baden." "Ha Jen"' Was hred by Mrri. Cuttinp-,
or erm..nr, an. I i a ba'.f l.n.ther of hU ceiobraied
tack ".Votntor-" "ul.l Ua.ien" hai fhorn
r-.nds ,;f wuol of one yt-ar'a grovk. For further
laroricatipa inquire ..f
J- .V. U'sr, r!,ittsmvih,tr
C. it. WALKER, &tlt Crvk Ford
KLEl'SElt &WISE,
Dealers in
BOOKS & STATIONERY,
WALL. PAP13I5,
WINDOW SHADES,
Confectioneries,
rVotioiiw,
Toys.
Coal Oil Lamps.
&c, &c.
lft ar. also ascr.ts for the Euchanan Woolen
Mills, or bt Job'-i'ii, ,i!u., and cave now on hand
tfood aiortmrnt of
FAXCV VASHIMERES,
CLO TUS, JEA S3,
FLASKELS, Jte.,
which we havu rerci vd on commission, and ara
prt-pAred to eichaiigefor
WOOL OR. CASH,
at very reasonabla jirurei. 4 Give n a tall.
nf itoor cast or ttie litttALD olnce, I'lattemouth,
XH.ri ka.
May 10, 1SC5 If
CHEAP GOODS
AT TUE
NEW STORE!
Howe & Thatcher,
a-WIIOLESALE AND RETAIL
l.iALraa ik
FANCY GOODS,
lioots and Shoes,
YANKEE NOTIONS,
Hardware, Queensware,
STArLE AND FANCY
GROCERIES,
OUTFITTING GOQDS.&C
TIIF.Y
mil nor be undersou).
Call before purchasing, and
Examine Goods and Prices.
If you do not buy, you will
Got posted !
REME3IBER
THE TLACE,
"JSHzxUcl streets
OPPOSITE POST OFFCE,
r
L
'Igated
IIon.E. S. Dundy, Judge 2.1 Judicial Pint., Fall
Citv, Nebraska; Major Edw'd Kurban. Fiiymast;'
IT k. I ....n.nrlh U.rto.- II. .tl I H.UUrbaDl'
Pofnr kw ropmicatAn tO
l"t M.c.r Nebra.-ka. rails t'ltv. Neb.; Hon. T. SI.
M,m PI. I. smooth. Neb.. Cal. R. R. Livink'-ton
late Col. Nebranka 1st Vet. Vols.. Platuraouth, Neb.
y.inr n n Wheeler. U.S. Indian A Kent. I'awne-
AMnrv: Cha' Nettleton, No. Ill Broadway, N?
York; Harvey, Deitrich & Brown, Washington, !.-
Tracv Maiain- h. Co , Chicngo, Ills.; K. li. Kitchl
Rochester, N. Y.. Prot lleniy Arlingdale, "HartforJ
Lnivermty," X. Y.
FOR SALE.
160 lcres of Good Land,
Well watered, situated T 1-2 roilea west from Plattrt
mouth. A good chance for a Kant he. Terms re.J
.enable. App.y w p DORRIXGTVS,
P.eal Estate Agent.
f3T OCicc oyer Black & Buttei y 'a Store. no3
PLATTSMOUTII. N. T., WEDNESDAY,
I'oblUhed by Request.
"THE LAM) OF TEIE WEST."
tn come to the West, love! Oh come there with me.
'Tis a iweot land of verdnre, that springs from the lea
Whe'e fair plenty urailea on her emerald throne;
Oh come to the West, and I II make thee my own;
I'B fuard thee, I'll tend thee, I'll love thee the best
And you'll ay there's do laud like the land of the
West.
The South has its roses, and bricht ski's cf blue.
Butour's are more sweet, wl:h love's own changeful
nue ;
Half annshine, half tears? like the Irl T love h,..
Oh what ia the South U tho beautiful West 1
ineu come mens with me. and the roM en thy month
n m De sweeter to me than the flowera of too South
The sun in the gorgeous East, chaseth the ni-ht,
hen he rises refreshed in his glory and mihf
Bnt where doth he go when he seek his sweet rest ?
Oh deih he not haste to the beautiful wt5(i
Then come there with me, 'tis the land I love best,
u: .aim ci ,nj Mres. t.s my own darling West.
THE TROl'DLES OF THI5 DIM-
OKR.lSYBeat Agin. ami Heat
Batlly.
Saint's Rest, (wich iz tho Stait uv
Moo Uersey,) Oct. 11, 1865.
Ohio, Abliahin!
Pennay'rania, Abli&hiu !
Iowa, Alliahia and nigger suffrage
too Loot!
Injiany, Ablishner than ever!
Ioo Ocrscy, not eggsactly Ablishin,
but approachin thereunto.
Sich is the encouragin news I red in
the noosepapers this mornin! Sich is
the result of labers Hercooliant in the
above-named States. What do the
people mene?
The pure Dimokrasy probably will
carry Noo York; but of what consolation
ii that to me? Tho two parties, the old
anshent Dimokrasy and the Ablishin
run a race into the fire am of Radikal
ism. and the Dimokrasy beat them over
a length. With a platform standin by
Johnson, endorsin his ant-slavery no
shens; his Southern oppression noshens,
his hangin uv Mrs. Surratt, et selferi,
and on that platform a sojer who never
voted a Dimokrat ticket in his life, who
went into the war a Radikle Ablishnitt
and who cum out t Rndikler Ablishri'
a. uuu iiuv uiai A li c v IJ.Utn IU C.lJUie
between em.
Last week I was invited into a county
in Noo York, to address a Diraokra'.ik
meetia. 1 accepted, (as my expensis
was paid, wich is cheeper and belter
boardin than I git at the groceries to
hum,) and akkordinly I went. I com
menst deliverin the speech I had yoosed
all over Noo Gertey. I commenst
aboosing the nigger, when the Cheer-
man interrupted me.
Well," sez I, "wat is it?" rather
angrily, fcr I git warmed up and a
sweatin, and don't like to be interrupted.
Why.'
eez he, "our Constitushun
allows a nigger who hez S'JoU to vote,
and we make it a point to sekoor em.
'They're a d n site belter off than
most of us white Uimokrats in ioo
Gersey," retorted I, a droppin the nig-
ger and goin on agin President Johnson,
Stop," whispered the Cheermnn,
"our platform indorses President J ohn-
son."
" Thunder ! remarked 1, droppin
i
President Johnson and sliding easily
. . . i
into a vigerus denuusiation of the war.
Good God!' sez the Cheerman,
stop! Our platform endorses the war.
I sed nuthin this time, but commenst
- I
denounsin the debt.
easy our piatrorm dbcks up me ueui.
1 . f 1 1. J 1 v I
Well then," sed I, in a rage, "why
in blazis didn't yoo send me a copy of
yoor platform when-yoo wanted rne to
address yoo? Go to thunder and make
yoor own speechis;" and I 6tawked on
the platform.
Time wus'wen wun speech wood do
the same as tho you'd show a slarvin
man a loaf of bread just inside pf iron
bars his fingers are not an inch from
it, but so fur as his cravin stomick is
concerned, it mite as well be across the
boundless ocean.
We may recover from this back-set,
but I hev my fears. The people is as
stoopid as ever, and our leaders is a3
akword as ever; but aas! the fact that
we hev failed in everything wo hev ua
dertuk fur four years is gettin thru the
hair of thousands, and they look askant
at us.
lie it as it may, it makes but little
diflerence to me. A few years at fur
thest, and I shel go hentz. If the Rille
is troo, I shel go where I will find a
heavy Dimokratik majority, shoor; if it
is not, and there is no hereafter, why,
then, at least, I shel be on a level with
the best.
"So let the wide world wag tz it will'"
I'll keep on the even teuer of my way,
takin my nips as often as I kin find a
confidin sole who hez more money than
diskreshun.
Petroleum V. Nasby,
Lait Pastur uv the Church uv the
Noo Dispensashun.
ALL THE COUXTKY'S WOES
"DEMOCRATIC."
The rebellion was Democratic. It
broke out in Democratic States. It was
confined to Democratic States: It was
latched by Southern Democrats. It
was fostered by Northern Democrats.
Democrats officered the rebel army.
Democrats made up its rank and file.
Democrats filled every office in the
Confederate Government, from the
Presidency down to the clerkships, and
messengerships. There wasn't a Re
public with shoulder-iraps, or a mus-
et, or a ' place" in the wtiole devilifh
concern, in tne lA'mocrutic City of
Washington, under the Denwcratic Ad- ,
ministration of Buchanan, the rebellion j
ccratic meuiLtr of that Democratic Ad
uiiniitration stripped the North cf arms
and smuggled them over to the South,
and sent the army wh-ire it would be
unavailable, or cou'd be easily captured,
A Democratic member cf that same
Democratic Administration scattered
the navy all over the world, so that it
could not be ued on the rebel seaboard.
A Democratic Secretary of the Treas
ury plundered his trust to supply the
rebellion with money. A Democratic
President, entreated to do something to
save the nation, refused, declaring and
arcuinjr that ihe government could not
conslitutionally defend itself, and that it
wag uniawfui t0 coerce rebels, and he
sat sullenly down, like the Democrat
aml traitor that he wa, and allowed
tne nation's arsenals l0 Le plundered,
anj lhe nation's ships, navy-yards and
fortresses to be seized, and the rebel
armie3 to be organized, without lifting
a finfyer t0 prevent. Democrats through
out everv Northern and Western State
aDDIauded the conduct of their Demo
it
cratic president adopted and defended
rjem0cratic doctrine, that the gov
ernment had no right to apply force to
cUrr)re8s a rebellion and from the
MS
worj iig0" politically and personally
ornosed everv legislative, financial, mil
itary and moral measure taken to speed
. a
,y anj successfully prosecute tne war,
anci save the nation's life. The coun-
lry's past and present woes are Demo
cratic all and every one of them,wi'h
out one soiuary exception. This truth,
as 0f the gospel, was thus uttered by a
western orator:
"Let Democratic journals and ora
tors howl over the debt and taxes their
war has brought. They but magnify
their own sins. Lvery dollar ot debt
is a democratic legacy. Every tax ia a
democratic gift- Every government
stamp is a democratic sticking plaster
Every person in the Lnited States
drinks in democracy in h;s tea, his cof
fee and whisky, and in the sugar with
which he sweetens them. Each ingre
s dient pays its quota for the cott of de
mocracy to the country. The smoker
inhale democracy. The sick man is
physiced with democracy. The labor
ing man gives about one hour's labor
every day to pay for democracy. The
capitalist pays one-tenth of his income
for the co6t of the democratic party.
Every transfer of property is saddled
with democratic burden. Before he is
begotten, the child is subject to the dem
ocratic tax. From the cradle to the
rave he is never free from it. The
!OV. 22, 1805.
funeral mourning must first pay the
penalty of democratic rule, and a por
tion of that h(f leaves behind must go
into this democratic vortex. Genera
tion after gene-ration will carry this
democratic burden from birth to death.
But for the democratic party our people
would .hardly know the nature of tax
ation. But for the democratic party,
the bjmdreds of thousands of young
men vhose bones are strewn over the
South,; would now be productive labor
ers, and the support and comfort of fam
ilies niw desolate. No one can attempt
to denr this indictment. No one can
preten'J that the democratic party had
any cause for rebellion. et it has
the effrontery to cry over the burdens
of taxation. As the father of the dem
ocratic party, when he had stripped Job
of family and possessions, charge it to
his oven sins, and sought to draw him
from jhis integrity, so his democratic
sons now come forward with equal ef
frontery anil charge their doings upon
the lc.yal people, and hypocritically
howl ever their afflictions, ai:d seek to
seduce them from their integrity, to
elect tf power the party that has brought
all thelse woes upon the land.""
THE JIM CIIOW DEMOCRACY.
Th Democratic party of the North
have tiken :he! following positions dur
ing these few years, to wit
1. That the Union must and shall be
preserved, if the people will allow it to
be preserved by the Democratic party;
not otherwise.
2. That the war for the Union
hurrah for the war for the Union under
AfcCIt llan, and no other man.
3. That the war for the Union was
a failure.
4. That the Union soldiers were a
success, and their votes a; good as any-
0,'V
raireo7'saOUi'u n JiT ra -tcMiWHS, i? voP
ed supplies, or allowed to vote in the
army.
G. That without a draft there is no
hope for the Union, therefore
7. There shan't be no draft.
S. That the Union soldiers are hire
lings and beneath contempt.
U. That Abraham Lincoln is a failure.
10. That Abraham Lincoln was a
prodigy of statesmanship aud wisdom.
11. That Andrew Johnson is a tailor
and n boor.
12. That Andrew Johnson i3 an able
man and a Democrat.
13'. That Audrew Johnson acts ex
clusively upon the time honored Demo
cratic principles.
1-1. That Andrew Johnson tried Mrs.
Surratt by court martial, and hung her
with a rope, and, therefore
IS. That Andrew Johnson is a radi
cal abolitionist.
16. That no man who had n hand in
the cruel war should have a hand in
our civil government.
17. That it 'would be prudent in the
Democratic party to put none but those
who figured successfully in the late
'failure" of the war, upon their guber
natorial tickets.
IS. That the secessionists were right,
and the Unionists were right, and we
are all right, (hi!) by the blessed Saint
Paterjck, hurra for the great Dimmer
cratic party! 'i
ES?A mail, hailing from New Mex
ico wis in town yesterday, with a large
diamond found in that ceuntry. It was
of irtegular shape, and about an inch
long. ' He tftld that jewelers in Denver
priced it as high as S7C0, which was
proba-bly aboijt one-tenth of its va.ue
Mini nz Journal.
tPLT" In orje of our courts lately a
man. who naj called upon to appear as
a witness coild not be found. On the
Jud"2 asking! where he was, an elderly
gentleman rose up, and with much em
phasis, said, ""Your honor, he a gone.
"Gone! gonet" said the Judge, "where
is he? gone?'t "That I cannot inform
. . . i. -. .i
you, saia me communicative yeuiic
m&o, "but he's dead.'' This is consid
ered the, roost guarded answer on
record. j
ths?" Somebody told Douglass Jer
rold that George Bobbins, the auction
eer, was dead, "and of course," added
the gentlerasn, "his business will go to
the .devil." "Oh, then he will get it
agal;n," saidjthe wit.
Value of Advertising
A few years ago a man in Hartford
was keeping a modest shoe store in
State street, and in an o!d-fasioned way
would have got along and made a fair
living. A day or two ago one of the
Hartfcrd papers published a list of real
estate purchased within a few weeks by
this shoe dealer, the purchase money
amounting in the aggregate to SSO.OOC.
We know from items of his previous pur
chases that he was already a real estate
owner to a large amount. We believe
that he still keeps that unpretending
shoe store. How ls he made his for
tune? Advertising! That is the whole
secret. He has advertised far and
wide, advertised by the column, and by
his own or borrowed brains he made
his advertisements so readable that of
ten they were the most meritorious lit
erary productions in the paper. He
has kept his name before the people,
the people have bought his goods and
he is now a wealthy man. Jllbanv
lrgus.
$"' It is difficult to" make the
"Southern chivalry" aware of the fact
that the world moves. They liv e in the
atmosphere of the past, and for them
the days c'ilt and tournament, bluster
and brutality, the duello and the whipping-post,
still exist. A Rich-nond
journalist, who during the rebellion
was noted for his truculent hatred of
the "Yankee," has taken offence at
some strictures of theJNewYork Eve
ning Post, and writes a frothing letter
to the Daily J'ews, in which he regrets
that the habit and customs of the Yan
kees will not afford him an opportunity
of satisfying his honor by putting holes
through the bodies of the Post editors.
The Ne iv York rowdy and the Virgin
ia and South Carolina "gentleman"
both have recourse to the same arju-
i -
rnent the riol-nciL-1-" FCU"C111' I
The Democratic party has 1
grown historic, and its muster-roll of
heroes shows names as bright as any
that adorn the history of any nation.
Democratic.
Yes, it has grown historic, and shows
a muster-roll of heroes. There are
Jeff. Davis. John C. Breckenridge,
Robert E. Lee, Henry Wirz, Wilkes
Booth, Old Mother Surratt, Dick Turn
er, the butcher Forrest, all historic
democrats, and on the muster-roll of
Democratic heroes. Wisconsin Jour.
Old Sand Creek HiMSELF.-If
anybody has doubts of the popularity in
this community of Col. Chivington they
ought to have been at the People's The
atre this afternoon, when he made his
appearance during the primary meet-
imr. The boys rushed around him.
pressing for an opportunity to shake
him by the hand, and to congratulate
him upon his return among us, and if
he had not beena man of powerful
muscle, we surmise his arms would bo
lame for a month. Denver wVfu-s.
Yesterday afternoon, as an
Irishman was driving a mule toward
tho race track, says the Stockton Inde
pendent, he was accosted by a man on
horseback, as follows: "W eil, Paddy; 1
see you have your brother along with
you." To which the witty Hibernian
quickly replied: "Yes, and be me soul
it's divilish glad weare to meet our
father."
gT" An Irishman steepped into the
post office at S , and inquired for a
letter from tho "ould counthry," giving
his name. The letter was produced
"Read her." say's Tat. The obliging
postmaster read her. '-Read her again.'
Postmaster read her again. " How
much on her?" "Thirteen cents."
"Keep her," says Pat, "she's none of
mine."
T"Artemus Wrard has at last found
something even more remunerative than
"wax Aggers" or Mormon lectures, A
rich old uncle has lately died in Lon
donas in the fifth act of an old com
edy and has left the popular showman
a fortune.of some forty thousand pounds
sterling. " A letter has just been re
ceived from England, we are told, an
nouncing the intelligence.
gygA minister who had received a
number of calls, and could hardiy de
cide which was the best, asked the ad
vice of his faithful African servant,
who replied, "Massa, go where de most j
debbil." " !
;5.
A riors SOY.
"Oh, mother! mother!"
"What, Son?"
"Mayn't I have the big Bible up in
my room, to-day?"
"Ye, my child, and welcome. Yc
don't know what pleasure it gives me
to see your thoughts turned that way.
Bui what sticks arc- ihoac in your hand?""
"Trigger:."
"Trigger for what, my ehi'd?"'
Why, trap triggers. Hire's the
standard, you sef; this is the flipper,
and that one with the fat meat on the
end is the long trigger. There's a rot
ten mouse keeps coming into my room,
and insulting of me, and 1 want to set
the bi Bible and try and knock his
chunk out for him."
T$2F' The following patent medicine1
"puff" is from Hall's Journal of Health:
Dear Doctor I will be 17J years cf
age next October. For 91 years I have
been an invalid, unable to move except
when stirred with a lever. But a year
ago last Thursday, I heard of your"
Syrup of Life. I Loagut u bottle, smelt
of the cork, and found myself a new
man. I can now run twelve and a half
miles an hour, and throw nineteen sum
mersets without stopping.
P. S. A little of your Alicumstonc
Salve, applied to a wooden leg, reduced
a compound fracture in nineteen min
utes, and 13 now covering the limb with
a fresh cuticle of white gum bark.
Yeast that will Sta rt Itself. -Boil
two ounces of the best hops in four
quarts of water for half an hourjttrain
it, and let the liquor cool down to a new
milk warmth. Then put in a small
handful of salt and half a pound of
sugar, beat up one pound ef the best
flour with some of the liquor, and mix
un all well tnpvthpr. Tho tl.irt .1-
r- - ,5 - " -
a'aflU ,tl 11 -ttUU uul"
It rnt V,f nirrpil frrouentlv when it is
, ... t
fore using, stir well. It will keep two
or three months in a coo! place.
TT A Boston editor says: The day
he result of the trial of Mary Harris
was announced, the following interest
ing conversation was overheard:
'Carrie, dear, will you please lend
me your revolver? I fear George will
not be true to bis promise, to-niht."
'Why, Emma, I'm so sorry. I've
just lent my revolver to Mary, and she
has found a beau who has ever so much
more money than Alfred; but, dear, I
can let you have my ivory handled stil-
letto, with much pleasure."
The customers of a certain
cooper caused him a vast deal of vexa
tion by their saving habits, and per
sistence in celling all tbeir eld tubs
Hnd casks repaired, and buying but lit
tle new work. "I stood it, however,"
said he, "until one day old S:im Crab
tree brought in an old 'bung-hole,' to
which he said he wanted a new barrel
made. Then I quitted the business in
disgust."
JSS An industrious tradesman hav
ing taken a new apprentice, awoke him
at a very early hour on tho firrt morn
ing, by calling out the family were sit
ting down to the table. "Thank you,"
said the boy, as ho turned over in bed
to adjust himself for a new nap, "thank
you; I never eat anything in tho night."
3 A New York paper eays, "a
person high in authority" asserts that it
is "all nonsense, to elect members of
the Legislature at Albany, for it ia
much cheaper to buy them after tho
election is over." This may seem to be
a mere "lling" at the bedy which makes
laws for the "Empire Stite," but there
is much reason to believo that thero is
much reason to believo that there is
quite as much truth as sarcasm in it.
...
JSSf A printer on his death couch,
and about to take an affectionate fare
well of his weeping friends, observed:
"I have finished my 'take,' my galley
is 'proved. and the greet Troof Read
er of the Universe Las marked the 'er
ror.' let death take the 'slugs' out and I
am ready for tho 'hell-box!' "
gJ "Oh, mother! do send for th?
Doctor!" said a little boy of three years.
"What for, my dear?' "Why, there's
a r-ectleman in the parlor who saya
he'll die if Jane don't marry him ani
che siys she won't.'.'
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