Nebraska herald. (Plattsmouth, N.T. [Neb.]) 1865-1882, November 08, 1865, Image 1
ft- ' ! . : .V "Jf -any man attempts to haul doicn the American Flag, shoot him on the spot." John A. Dix. VOL. I. PLATTSMOUTH. N. T., WEDNESDAY, NOV. 8, 1865. NO 31. t THE HERALD IS PCBLISIltO EVEKT WEDNESDAY MORNING, Bt H. D- HATHAWAY, EDITOR AND PROPRIETOR. O'OSlcc comir Uaia atrial and Lerea, second awu. Terms: $2.50 perannaro, invariably in advance. Jlates of Jiff cert is ing. V'r OTc of ten Un) oue Iniertiun, uii tnhqnrnt inerii.o Oat quarter coraron or lea-, per af.num gt nmu.h tr.r- e muntha Oa talf Calu'aD twt raontua " rix month! three month. Ca column trela months .is monlh - - three month - Alltranaieut adrerti-emeDta mail be paid - We re pr. pred to d all k in.l of Job n .nurt notier. and in a .tyte that wl.l (ie faction. 1 .50 1.' 0 10 00 2.'. iw 13.1 0 in.ffl 43 Oil SS.00 l.V.HI 60 .no 45.00 23.00 fur is Work atl- B. It LIVINGSTON, M. D- Physician and Surgeon, Tndr bla prwf'niorial aervic. a to the cilifaa of tV-K'Ine in Frank Whit-', h o.e. corner r,f aand Si u .tr-ei: tube. ..ri Main atft, tppo aiie Cauri Hjuae. I'UttMn.u.h, Xgb.aaka. WILLITTPOTTEKQER ATTORNEY AT LAW, PLATTSMOUTH - - NEBRASKA. t. n .mauqi ett, ATTOUNEV AT LAW AHl Solicitor in Chancery. rLATTSMOUTII, - - NKKIMSKA. josErn SCnLATER. "WATC V LIAKEit and JEWELER, X AI.1 S lET, I'LATTSMOUIII, - - NEBRASKA. i .... d ,..iror,.- i f Wl - Cl--- -n. 1 w,ir MiiftW.r'.UtC' t.o- - V1..1 -l ai,di ,la Yrl.iir-.ii.is. i-v. hind- All am co.a m ,;t,.) t.. hi. re al l w.r aiiU'I. April 10. I-;. C F,tvi, NOTARY PUBLIC AND con v l: a nc i it- B.al .l .te A,... T I'-yr for lua and Srbraa aa Tin- f l.an-1 lui' t:ifted, Ac. - A.i tur.ii-it:U'il l bi cr wnl recrira ronri at'ent on. rNaii.raou.h. . T , A;.nl tt Aatiuiinl C'l.Vin Agency. WASH INGTC N. D C- F. M. DORRiNGTON. H'fl AliENT: PLATTSMOUTH, - - NEBRASKA, I, nr. rare t t.i t.ra-rnt and prnws'e r!am. brf re Coi.tfr... toiirt if fU.m. au.l thr l.-partni.r.i. I'a ua'. r.n....n., Uoni.t . -"Od B-.iinly Lanrla ae a-d IITlJU" moJ'l .ami in ir.irtioii to ta. aw lu'.l of 'Ut ciaiui i". 11. LOttlUNUTO V Aoril 1"", '6S. i7ii. wheeler. notary public AND COMMISSIONER CF DEEDS Eire and Life Ins. Ag't, A. .at f..r coll.-vti.rn of cU.ro auaii.at .oernmt.t. or S..1.1 er. thnr - w. nJ niloot . Acent tor th p-rrha-r art .-ale of L-n.l, and I Iry pr..pcr t. Lfinif of Ttnemrut-. Ptn nt of Taiaa in all art.of Nel.raf.a and Wrtrro Iowa. Attend, to a; lns-ine... rtainin to Get.eial Land, Insurance, 1 ravine and t'..ilcct.on Airrnry. J-(,t, r i- all hiii-ire?. n.en in Nebraska. ruttMUwaib. S. T., May 15. 1W. PLATTE VALLEY G. W.CRCW, PROP I am piepare.l to fu-ni.h a'l who mr faor me WUb thnr t,troiia((. , With lodg-ir. .1. giniea'. or a,ardt.tbe-eek O.W.CKOW. I'latiMuouth. April 1?, yl MRS. L. GCLDING, PRACTICAL MID-WIFE, , Ba prac.icd .uccIful y lor s.rral ye 1 a in K. ' 1 ouia and im Lravenoiih rny. r aoucaled. pro-fi-.tona 17. to Coalou. a K. Mn. G.xlii K ha : mauently l-aed in ibu cuy. f.r-wiH' tn the north- eat part ol town. Jay 13 it FOR SALE ! Thirty desirable business and resi- dhnce LOTS IN PLATTSMOUTH. Ten thousand acres of prairie and her LAND IN CASS COUNTY. Terms to euit cash purchasers. tim- r. 11. wHiii.tR. Krai rtate An', Jdb 6, bi3 Conrt Horn, l'lat ruiouth. NATIONAL MILLS, DENVER. C. T., WHITTEMOEE& CO , Proprietors, Hn all kind' of (H-aln at b'sl.efct maiketmt. Th attratt. n .(thr nh irn a era of Nebraska 1 call-d to the .uptrlo laciliti.'. atTonUd hii y these m.ll la eon.itinif ii to a.-b the wh-at inf n idfo. the Cclarad toa.k. t. S 3 ui FOR SALE. Eight or T 11 Tliorough brd American MERINO RAMS They ere bred by J. S. Walker, Wanning Conmy. K. V., and .irtd i-t h.a raii.ou . Id aiork tu. k dei " aden" wm bred by w.rt. Ci'UiHf t Vermont, acd l. a balf tuolhrr of hi ce b aird Wk Monitor" -'Old Haden"' h. .hum 3 I S J-Hinda of w.l of one yar'a ,iaw:h. For luitber Ufariaatioa inquire of J. Jf. WISS. rtttnwuth, or 4 C B WAlJi$B, Oar Font. is Mil. IV' A SB Y II AS A MOST UOR- iiible: vision. Saint's Rest, (wich iz the Stait uv ) No Oewej,) Oct. 1G, 1865. : Last nite, weary and disgusted with readin eleckshua returns, I picked up a volum ur Cammeir Poems, and red that splendid peese, "The Last Man.'' Ca mine 11 is a poiclc iber ain't no doubt ur it. Ef my too partial friends ain't too partial, 1 can tvfiop him on the sub lime, but on the pathetics I acknollidge him ex my sooperior. Ba that ez it may, the poem made an impression on my mind, wich is proof that there is uihin into it, and my mind wuz a dtvel lin onto it ez I sunk into slumber. Ez yoomal I hnd a dream, and sich a dream may I never her agin. Methaut the epidemick, wich is now devaslalin Europe, hed struck Noo York. For a time, it struck down all classes. The proud Caucafhen, the hid jus nigger, the noble red man ur the forest, and the almond-eyed Chinese, all, all, fell afore the ruthless destroy er. . 13 ut at last it abated, except so far as the nigger wuz concerned. The white man wuz spared, so was the injun and the Chinese, but among the A'ri kins it raged with redoubled fury. O, it was cruhin ! The planter looked abroad, and lo! the stalwart feeld hand, wich was wuth SI ,500, was a cold corpse, and the feeld was unplowed. Agin he looked, and alas! the brawny wench, wich alluz bore him a picanm ny, wich was wuth S100 as soon as weaned, wunst per year, and by a little extra whippin did a full year's work, was prostrate in the cold embrace ur dfih. Agin he looked, and wo. to him, the octoroon, for wich he paid S2.500 and whose girl babies he cood sell in Noo Orleans as soon as they was 1G for S3.000, on akkount of their bavin his blood in their reins, was torn from hi lovin grasp by the stronger hand of disease, and wasn't wuth a ropper for iiny purpus. The DrMnocrisy bekum alarmed. The indt fatigal.le lead.-rs whispered: "The nigrer is fadin away poin he becums exiiuck ! " Whereupon a consultation ur the head men was held. In view of the crisis, a pair one male and one female, was selectid and examined by n committee of expert examiners in life insurance companies. They was pro nounced perfeck specimens entire souud and free from di-cae. These two was locked up in a room, in a healthy then, and twenty four of the most eminent phjticians of the country was detailed one to. ttay with them one hour of each day, that, in case tlm disease struck em, the remedies might be applied tu-wunst. that, from these two. the rce might be propagated, and the cappytle of the party be preserred. Dut all to no purpose. The lst nig ger in the Yoonited States perished, and finally these two were struct, and notwithstaudin the precautions adopted, they too died ! There was a season Nacher sympa thiztd with the party in its alllicshuti. The hearens was clothed with leaden colored clouds, athort wich, ever and anon, flashed gleams of loorid lite. Low-voiced thunders muttered omi nously, and birds and beasts run howlin o'er the feelds. D. ay horses fell dead upon the stony streets, and wild beasts ruhed frantically from their coverts, and snapped fooriously, madly, at wat ever came in their way. The last of the Afrikins were layin prostrate in the hail. Fertiandy wood entered, and as he seed em, he bustid into tears. "Farewell," guhed he, a long farewell, last of.a cussid race! You was our tower of strength; you was our corner stun; on you we bilded! Hatred ur you gire me the Irish rote of Noo York. O, how cheerin it was to see them lambs bust your heads, and innocently hang you up to lamp posts ! But yoo'ni gone yoo'm gone and heniz4th life's a blank to me. Fare well, rain world! for wat is life with out a nigger!" aud seizing a jack-knife he suw stickin out of the nigger's pock et, he ftuck ;t into his stummick and tslh i across the deceest Afrikins, ex pired 'peeeful!y. Franklin Perse approacht. "Ala! and art thou one? Too troo, thou art! In life thou wurt lorely. 'Twas thou, alone, that made me President ; thv w.ioly hed was my steppin-stun to place and powei' Thou wast my right-bower, my Ifcft aud ace! xEf I wai a Demo cratic Saropson.'thou wast the bait wich the Deliler, Death, hss' sheered orf. Fernandy, I kum! I kum!" and seezin the jack-knife from hi hand, he plung ed it into his bowels, fallin across Fer nandy. Valla ndygum approacht. "I. too, must say farewell." said he, kisin their cold features, "for thou wast my anker. Thou twast, who made me Congress man thou exiled ine, aud bate of thee gare me S30.000 in ten cent pieces when I was in Canady. Do I want to go to Congress agin? No! no! I shood be dumb, for the main-spring of my elokence lies heref'and, takin the jack- knife, he immersed it in his bowels, an fell across Peerse. Old Jeemes Bookannon, Voorheer, Brite, and Florence, and in fact, all the leaders of the party North, lo the num ber of suthin over 200, kdin up, and each makin a short orashen, stuck theirselres with the jack-knife, fallin across each other, as cord-wood is piled Finally, I felt it a dootr I owed to the party to foller soot. Seezin the jack knife, I made ray orashen (wich was teihen!) and was about to sever my in testines, when I seed a quart bottle stickin out of the nigger's pocket. Draw in it 4th I pulled the cork. Glory! it was whisky ! Two sucks and it was gne the room tpun round, and I fell senseless on the top of the pile of dead Democrats. Jest then Horris Greely cum in : "Behold Democrisy!" sed h, "as it was in the beginnin so it is in the end in. Nigger at the bottom, whisky at the top, ind a clink in the middle," and holdin hid nose, he shambled out of the room. I awoke in a cold sweat, happy to find that it was only n dream; that the nigger still lived in all his cussitood, and that we still hed suthin to go on. PiTROLEUM V. NaSBT, La It Pnstr ur iho Chunk ut the rs'oo Dispensashun. sew i.meisval rcve.mc decisions. The laws regulating the payment of internal revenue are very explicit, and the decisions of the Commissioner in r-lation thereto have been so few aud .lear that a wayfaring man, though m fool, need not err as regard their re quirements. Two of the points, beiug not exactly understood, the Commis sioner has recently added the following self-evident necessary rulings in rela tioj to the future construction of the law : . ' Interested parties will please lake notice that widows arc not required, lo pay a tax on the income their husbands might have earn-d if they had lived ; neither are their second husbands re sponsible therefor. A man may deduct the rent of the house he lives in, whether he pays the landlord or not ; that's the landlord's business. A speculator who has made "fifty thousand dollars this year on wheat, can not deduct seventy five thousand dollars lost four years ago on cheese. A young man, who is entirely de pendent on his aged mother for support, is not required to pay her income tax. The following is very important: When a man and his wife each have tipparate incomes and don't live togeth er, and the wife boards with her aunt, who is a widow and has property of ber own in oil s'ocks, and the husband is in the hnbit of paying his wife's board or milliner's bill, the tax for which he is liable will depend on the amount of his revenue, if he has any. His wife' aunt cannot be held respon sible for his income unless the man should die and leave no property, then the assessor may remit ihe aunt's in come tax except upon what the actu ally owns fi-S An orator, in appealing to the "bone and sinew," 6aid: "My friends, I am proud to tee around me to-night the hardy yeomanry of the land; for I lore the , agricultural interests of the country, aud well may I lore them, fellow-citizens, for I was born a farmer ihe happiest days of my youth were -pent in the peaceable arocations of a son of the soil. If I may be allowed to use a ' figurative - expression, my iriends, I may say I was raised but we en iwo-hilla'Iof corn." "A pumpkin, by thunder!" exclaimed an inebriated chap just inl front! of -the stage. Speaker suddenly disappeared. ; .;.: THE ORIUIIVAL. FENIAXS. IAISH TRADITIONS AND HISTORY. The following account of the ancient Fenians of Ireland is from Morley's "writers before Chaucer:" "Irish tradition says that the Fenians were an ancient militia, or standing army, employed only on home service for protecting the coasts from invasion. Each of the four provinces, says the tradition, hadt band; that of Leinster, to which Fionn and his family belong ed, being called the Clanna Baoisgne. This militia is said lo have been paid by the King, billeted on the people in the winter, but to have lived in the sum mer by the chase. And these are im agined to hare been the qualifications of a Fenian: "Every soldier was re quired to swear that, without regard to her fortune, he would choose a wife for ber virtue, her courtesy, and her good manners; that be would never of fer violence to a woman; that as far as be could be would relieve the poor, aud that he would not refuse to fight nine men of any other nation. No person could be received into the service un less his father and mother, and all his relatives gave security thai none of them should revenge his death upon the person who might slay him, but that they would leave the matter to his fellow-soldiers. The youth himself must be well acquainted with the twelve books of poetry, and be able to compose verses. He must be a perfect master of defense; to prove this he was placed in a field of sedge reaching up to his knees, having in his hand a target and a hazel stick as long as a man's arm. Nine experienced solaiers, from a dis tance of nine ridges of land, were to hurl their spears at him at ence; if he was unhurt he was admitted, but if wounded he was sent otT v:h a re proach. He must also run well and de fend himself when in a fight; to try his aciiviiy he was made to run through a wood, having a start of a tree's breadth, the whole of the Fenians pur suing him ; if he was overtaken or wounded in the wood he wa refused, as too sluggish and unskillful to fight with honor among such raliant troops. Also, he must have a strong arm and be able to hold his weapon steadily. Also, when he ran through a wood in chas his hair should not come untied ; if it did he was rejected. He must be so wift and light of foot as not to break a rotten stick by standing upon it; able also to leap over a tree as high as his forehead, and to s'oop under a tree that was lower than his knees. Without stopping or lessening his speed he must be able to draw a thorn out of bis loot Finally, be must take an oath of fidel ity. The Rer. Geoffry Keating, who wrote a "History of Erin" in the year 1630, gravely says : "So long as the terms of admission were exactly insist, ed upon, the military of Ireland were an invincible defense to their country, and a terror to rebels at home and en emies abroad." Goll McMorna had slain Fionn's father, Cumhaid, in battle, and was Fionn's mortal enemy in early life. Afterwards he made a peace with him, aud fought under him as a chieftain of the Connaught Feniana. But the supremacy of the Clanna Bioi.-gne led to feuds, and at last Fionn and bis clan, defying the throne itself, were attacked by all the forces of Eriu except those of the King of Munster, who took part with him, aud suffered carnage in the battle of Gabbra, where in Oisin's son, Oscar, and the King of Cairbra fell by each other's hands. Fionn, who was absent, arrived only in time to close his grandson's eyes, and, after this defeat peace had no sweets for him and war no triumphs. Fionn died at last, it is said, by the lance of an assassin. "It is noticeable, however, that the Fenians were uot confined to Erin. In the ancient poems on the battle of Gab bra we reaa of 'the bands of the Fions of Alban,' (Alban being the old name of Scotland Nonh of the Friih of Forth and Clyde ) and the Supreme King of Breatan, ( Breatan being Southern Scotland, of which Dunbreatan now Dunbarton "vas the chief seat.) be longing to the order of the 'Feinno of Alban; and also that 'the Fians of I Locblan were powerful.' Now, Loch Jan was an ancient Dame of Germany 1 North of the Rhine, bur when - Nor wegian aud Danish pirates appeared in the ninth cerrtory they were called Lochlanaels, and the name of Lochlan was transferred to Norway and Den mark. It has been argued from thi. that Fenians were not a militia of Gaels, but that they were a distinct Celtic race, connected with the only two races who are spoken of as baring come in oldest time from Lochlan namely, the Tuatha de Danann and the Cruithen. They are thought to have been some of the Celts who preceded the Germauii peoples now occupying the North German shore and Scandi navia. THE fist dauy. The fust baby haz bekum one of the fixed stars of life; and ever since the fust one was born, on the roog side of the garden of EJen, down tew the lit tle stranger of yesterday, they have never failed tew be aabudget of mutch joy an event of mutch gladness. To wake up some cheerful mornin.and see a pair of soft eyes lookin into yures to wonder bow so mutch buty could have been entrusted to you to sarch out the father, or the mother, in the sweet little fase, and then lose the sur vey in an instant of the buty, as ihe lading Angel lays before you to play with the golden hair, and sow fond kisses upon this little bird in yure nest; lis this that makes the fust baby, the joy of awl joys a feast of the harte. Tew find the pale Mother ngin bi yure sidemore lovely than when she was wooed tew see a new tenderness in her eye, and tew hear the chastened sweetness of her lafl, as she tells some thing new about "Willie" tew love her far more than ever, and tew find oftimes a prayer on yure I'ps lis this that makes the fust baby a fountain of plesure. Tew watch the bud on yure rose-bush, tw ketch the fuat notes of your song-bird, tew hear the warm prase of kind friends, and tew give up yure hours to the treture lis this that makes the fust baby a gift that Angels hav brought yu. Tew look upon the track that life takes-.-tew see the sun shine and shower tew plead for the best, and shrink from the wust tew shudder when sickness steals on, and tew be chastened when death comes lis this oh! lis ibis that makes the fust baby a hope upon arth, and a gem up in heaven. Josh Billings. SOIll7ovFL'l7 A worthy woman lost her husband. In the midst of her grief, she was anxious thai his remains should be duly honored according to the "proprieties." She did the best she could with ber con tracted premises to make the needed room. Before the hour came for the services, or the expected friends and relatives arrived, in came the snuffy Mm. Grundy, on a preliminary call of curiosity or inquisition. " Laws me," the exclaimed, through her nasal organ, as she peered about; "how nice you do look all fixed op for ihe funvral very smart, indeed. Burrowed some cheers, didn't ye ? Bless me! got a new clock, too, tiuce I was here last there in a corner, hain't ye?" ' "Oh, no! oh, col" rocked out and groaned out the disconsolate widow. "Thai's my poor dear dead hurbanJ. We had lo stand his coffin up on end to make room enough for company oh! oh!" m w Z-&f Two damsels passing through a depot a day or two since, were hav ing an animated discussion on the sub ject of coitTure. One exclaimed, "What do you think, Maria? It took me thir ty-fire minutes, this morning, to make my water-fall." JfST "Dar are," said a sable orator, add.-essing his brethren, "two roads tro dis world: de one am a broad and narrow road dat leads to perdition, and ihe oder a narrow and broad road that leads to sure destiuction." "If dat am de case," aid a table heater, "dis cullud indiwidual takes to d woods " t'3 "Sir," asked a newly-fledged Legislator of a fellow-passenger on the Hudson river Railroad, "are you going to the Legislature?" "No. thank God! not so bad as that I'm going to the State Prison.' IJ" The system on which Brigham Young conducts his matrimonial affairs: "Qaick retirns and email raorazTS. VAEE4M3It.II mlU AS A MILI TAItY MAN. We find in the JIac a-Lhtzk Prits the speech of Col. Donu Piatt, made at Dayton the night befora he election. His description of Vallandiham's ap pearance as a military chieftain is reli able:. "Why, do you remember, my fellow citizens, that previous to the late war this Cleenenl L. Yallandtghain was a Brigadier General. I remember it, for I saw him. I happened to be in Day ton when the Governor of Ohio, on special invitation, came here to inspect the military and naval forces of Moat gomery county. Oh, you needn't laugh, it was a big thing; indeed, I may say it was immense. An independent com pany of thirty men, trussed up like woodcocks prepared for the rpu aud Brigadier General Clement L. Yallau digham and siaff. Why, it ttruck me that the style and name should have been Brigadier-General Clement L. Yallandigtudenhammtr and staff Laughter. This was the military as for the naval force I cannot say. 1 suppose upon the "ragin canawl," you had a show abjet as imposing as the Brigadier-General. I was standing on the balcony of the Philips House when the General came sweeping round. "I taw kim but a moment. llrthiiik. I sec liiia now. With botub-ahelS woiked upon Lis tall, And war upon bi. b:ow." Laughter ) 'He was on a tremeuduus charger, and had ft is breast Mulled out like a wet nurse, and his bebitid I ke a buuty tail ed rooster. Excessive l.iughier His epaulettes dazzled the eye, his tearful sword banged to and fro, and wide as your streets are, they were not wide enough for him. He came on canter ing, caracoling aud cavorting. He scared a woman with a child in her arms on one corner, be upset nu n pie stand on the other. And so he swept by, out of the present, I believe, into a glorious future. How secure our country is wi h such defenders, thought I. Great Clem! valiant Cle.n! ride to glory. Ah! my friends, the vmniy of human wishes. The war came; and did Clem. like Job's war-horse, smell the battle afar? Yes. my friends, and immediately ran into the tall grass and washed off the paint. And when he came out bis swelling bo.-oin had wilted, his bulbous behind had culLpsed ; nil the pride, pomp and circumstance of glorious war had disappeared, and the late Brigadier-General Clement L. Yallandigiudeuhammer appeartd as Aminidab Sleek, the angel of peace. This villainous sail petre, digged from the bowels of the harmless earth, and exploded inslitlls makes many anangel of peace, who was bt for brave as Ju lius Ca?sar on parade.''' FA EE PLAXTIXO. Fiiie.nd Culm an; 1 am very much surprised at the general ignorance, or, rather prejudice, against Fall Planting. I plant everything from the smallest shrub or rose bush to the cherry, pear, peach and apple, with greatest success. In the fall of 1SG3 I planted several hundred shrubs, rose, peathev, cher ries, pears, &c, and on y lost mue in the whole lot, while similar trees "heel ed in" the ordinary way, without pro tection, were nearly or quite half ol them destroyed. I always earth up round each tree about ten inches high, and almost cov. r ihe smaller shrubs, 4c, thus turning off the water in winter, and preventing ihe plants from being diavvn out by ihe frost. In early spring level oh, and I will warrant twice the growth of fpnog planted plants. In the month of January, '62, 1 sold a geutlcman 200 apple aud some other trees, which were immediately planted by experienced hands. The plow was run through each way to hill them up, and early in the spring the earth was turned away with the p!ow. with but Imle after cultivation, and 1 challenge the State to show me larger trees of ihe same age, spring planted. II. Rural World. ' sal A sergeant, paseiug along one of ihe t-ireets near the Tower of Lon don, observed one of bis men sitting against the wall. . He was the. worse for liquor, and on asking him why he did not go home, he replied, "Ob, Ser geant! all the bouses seem to be pass ing me; sol think I bad belter wail til. the barracks come, and then I can go in without any trouble." CERE FOIt DRirthLMM SS. "An Exiled Pole," describes in an English paper, a cure for drunk nners. He says that the paiit nt is si ut i p in a room ai.d debarred from ail ctu.n u nication except with his physician. As often as he pleases spirits are given bim mixed with tw .-thirds of water. So also are all other di u.ks, as well as beer, (, fFVe.or wine mingled with one third of water. The various kinds of solid fot.d are nil i r.-ptred with brandy; consequently thf patient is in a atate of continual intoxication. This lasts about five days. At the end of ihal lime, the patient implores oilier food, aud ever afterward the tmell of alcohol acts as au emetic. JCST If four cats wiih sixteen legs can catch fourteen rats with forty-two legs, while u woman with two tongues it saying Jack R binson, how many legs must eight ra s have lo get away from the same number of cats in two min utes, due allowance being made for tare and liei? JK3" The Legislature of Mississip pi has elected Gov Shaikey to fill the unexpired term of Jeff. Davis in the United States Senate. CSyAn exchange say.: "Gov. Pir p.mi, of Yirginia, called upon Mr. Chirk, comptroller of currency, r!e-i,t-Iv, and in course tf conversin'on stated thai the Southern people "wouldn't rtand such d d nonsense" ns b ing re quired lo help pay the national deb' ; whereupon Mr. Cl.irk politely indicated to the Governor the direction of ihe door. Erar A manied bidy found her two tons qiiiirrelii g.nnd iu hopes of putting an end to their difference, utiered the following: "You youtjg rascals, if you doiid.sist directiy, I'll tell both your fathers." A toiiiiirjmau being a witness ir. a court of justice, was a-tked by tho counsel if h was born in wedlock. "No, sir." answered ihe man, "I was born iu Lincolnshire." JJfSj1" A married man who wi re cently at a whist party, when he pro posed t. o home was asktd to stay a little longer. "Weil." he rt plied, -perhaps I may as well; my wife is proba b'y as tnnd as he can be." Greek m ti.l being itske 1 wh.t fortune "he could brinjr to her husbiini, repliel. 4I will bripg h"'in whut p ,1,1 ennnot rurnhnse heart unpiitu-d. and virtue without a st.-iin, which it nil lh.it descended to me from my p irents. 3r""Tliere'fj two wvi of doinr; it," aid I'.it to liim-elf, as he M'o.-d minin and wiiitinp; for a job. "If 1 save ma four thousand d jil us, I inu-l 1 tj t.p two hundred dollars a year for twenty euri, or I can put awny twentj dollors a year for two hundred years now which, snail I do?; Cirk for Necralgia Utilf u dr:ichm of nal-ittmuoniiic in un ounce cnamphor wit ter, a teaspoonfull to be taken ut h dose, and the dose rppr.-ite . sereral times, at intervals of five minutes, if the pain bo not relieved at once. M my persons huve tried this remedy, and give it high re commendation. Diptaeria Do not lorget that in this and in other ore throat diseases, rljw eating of pure ice, broken up in small pieces, and fur hours at a time, id aroutig the very best remidies. It should be be gun at once, as soon an the soreness up penis, aud a bad attacked may be pre vented. Cure for Frlox As eoon as the part begins to swell, get he tincture of lobe lia, and wrup the pari affected v.i.h a, cloth saturated thouroushiy wiih tha tincture, aud the felon is dead. An old phyaiciuu say he ha known it to cu.o in itacoie ot c-iai'H, and it uever fails if applied in season. (JTIn the dining room uf ibe principal hotel of Nanti'c'nei. is posted a notior: ' Guests will please arrange themselves as to present a festive appearance." fjyWhal a fortunate thing for the United States that, in addition to its Ni agara Falls and the Mississippi River, it bus the Elair family. There i a physiological reasoa for calling this a fast age. The human pulse has quickened from seven to ten throbs a minute, over that of fifty years ago, says a recent writer n progress rpyin making each letter of tha ordi nary alphabet, must take from three to seven strokes of the pen. ",1, ir