" 7y man attempts to haul dozen the American Flag, shoot him on the spot." John A. Dix.
VOL. 1
PLATTSMOUTII. N. T., WEDNESDAY, SEP. 13, 18G5.
i0. 23.
I
THE HERALD
IS rUilLlsMED LVE'tY
WEDNESDAY MORNING,
II. I II ATI I A WAY,
EDITOR AND PROPfUETOrt.
tj-ntii ei'ii I'.iin stre' t, i-rip site Amis-m, Io
Vcjr A C '.'..
Terms: '-.'O per annum, invariably
jn advance.
Hales of . ideertisiais.
rnt-fjuare (sl'.iC of ti n line.-) o-.ie insertion,
Kaeh Mi' se'im nt insertion
'i..re.fl-n.tl n it i-ircul!" ! i lines
tne quarter column or !., per annum
4. . pix i:i,i:tti4
" thr e months
One half ioIu':'n twelvemonth
nx months
i three, mouths
One column twelve months
MX mouths
three month -
f 1 ..r.O
1.' II
ID III)
):, t o
i.i. mi
4." II I
V'l.l'O
i no
VI ll
2.' i hi
All transient ad verti-emeuls niasl lie paid r..r iu
lvante.
Co- XV r ire pr,rar.'il to ! a'l kin-Is of T '! Work
on Plo.rt notice, and in a -tyre that wi.l tfive sati.
ftetiwii.
guoinc giwtorg.
It. II LIVINGSTON, M. D-
Physician and Surgeon
Tei'.AV" I.i prof.'
rial sit ic' .s to thf tifiz u or
t'as roiii.iv.
It. ,'er.re ia 1-rank win
i li use, corner of
k ami Ms b -tret; "Mice on Main tl -, o,,i,o-it-
Court House, rl.tt'-tmulh, Seora.-ii.l.
WILLITT POTTEKGER.
AT I'O I1NEY AT LA W,
PLAITS JIOUTII - - NEDUASKA.
Xnfioiml Claim Agency.
WASHINGTON. D- C
F. M- DORRINGTON.
ti'.'ll AH EST:
TLATTSMOUTII, - - NEBRASKA,
Is prepared to pre.-ut and pr.meeute claims he fore
t'mur,.,, f-.urt of l.iiiiis ud the liei.artmeim. I'ar
tent Pen-ion", Hoiitit e. and lloiinty Lanil" '
-cored. lrCI,r- mo' ler.it-. t..l in pr...'.rti-.n to
rth.nn.MiVtoftherUiiH. 31- UoliKIXOTO
April in, "0 .
K. C. i,
NOTARY PUBLIC
ANI
COXY K Y A NC I :i I
T.cal F.-tate A.re.t. T-ix dy-rf'T Iowa au 1 X'ra--Va.
Tiih ot L.iti'l inv.-t :L-:-ti 'l. A:-.
ff-AII lolui.-i ellt:u-!e:I to hlj care w" receive
jr it
PlHt'-!
.ntli, X.T.. April 2o:h. tf
T. JI-
ATTO!LEY
AT LAW
Solicitor in Chancery.
PLATTSMoUTli. - - NF.Bil.-t SKA.
S). S3. V2ZS::KS.I3:t.
NDTAUY rUULIC
COMMISSIONER CF DEEDS
Fire and Life Ins, Ag't,
At for col:eet!.-n of c'...ii:n uair.-t 'Verr.-.i-nt,
for aol.l ers. li.rir i !. -ws I m:m.t l.-i'. A:--ul
t l the pMcha-e at.-! -f I. i: U :ttel ' ; 1 X pn 1'er
r Lea-i- L- of T. l.e! :-r;t-. r-4VI:i-ut of l.ws I" Hi!
jn'-tn of X-l r.i-ka at. 1 We -tern I-mm. .Mt-n.U to
ii!l hn-l-.'-i- p it:iii.ii'it..:::--i.eri I.n l, Insurance,
T.it f .yni a:el "I ' ! - ':' Aireii-y.
rj-i:-. to ill l-Ui-tre, ..-n in X-oraka.
Ult-iJ.outli. X. T , May y. 1 :;.
PLAITS VALiIiAJ ir
ja a c d a b; -.
G. V. C ROW,
I .im ji-epar. .1 to
w.o, t:.- r piitrot.n
iic-inl I'T ti e wei Sc.
i-,!:.-ti....t:th, Apr
PROP.
'irtii-Si .i'l wh rn.y 'iv r toe
... With l niftii tr. "i'-' "'' or
O. W.CitV.
; i-.-i
MRS. L. GOLDING,
rSACTICAL
MID-WIFE,
Has praetieeJ -w-c.-sfnl'y f.T v.-ral yer in b-t.
l.-ir..- it"I in l.e. nworth rity. V ediitic !. pra-
fv-l' l.i:'V. Ill I'oa1 ill, A It.
Mrs. i.'i-Utii: ha- i . ii. oho i.tly U.ate.l in this city,
i; Lieu. iu the u.-rtli-wtit pa.t of town.
Juy Vi. if
joszpii
SCnLATEK.
"WAT C ? MAKER and JEWELER,
TXAIS STBLtT,
PLATTSMOITH, - - NEIUIASKA.
A, food aMiortmeiil of Wat c...CI-s ' l"en,
J. ,rv. Mlver W.ir-, Kane Goo :s Vi .Iins anJ Vi
ulin li .limine aliu n hand. Alla'orlc com
mitted lo hi- n re Ul be warratited.
April lo, i.-ic..
TOR SALE !
Thirty desirable buincs3 and resi
llincii il.OTS IN PLATTSMOUTH.
Ten tluiusanJ acres of prairie and tim
ber LAM) IX CASS COUSTY.
Terms to suit ca.h purchasers.
U. H WHKF.I.ER.
Ktate Ai;nt,
Coart Hjum;, 1'lattMiiouth.
June 5, nul
NATIONAL MILLS,
DENVER, C.T.,
WHITTEHORE & CO , Proprietors;
T.iiy ;l kimln ofirraln at hiirhest market rates. The
teatmn fthe m lieat crowers f Nel r.tska is called
toll e iiperi'r tae.lun s alTonleil them by taese iuilL
iu coiirertine into caah the whiat int' ooed for the
Ccleralo market. I". 0, mtf
Probate Notice-
TEKBITORV OK NRHKASKA,
L'vunti (."'". j--.
r-.roaut to ail order of the Probata Court of sx i.i
f ur.tv. ma Je on the 7th ii.iv of Anvist A D. lsH.
""'He i- heret.y (.-iven that all claims a if mist the es
b "i juMj. el 0h county, d-ceawd
a-bt hegii tie in the office of said Court on or lefore
j ts;h Jay rf Ferbruary, A. D. 180G,
rja-..irv . . , ( .,., be in se.-j.ien to hear
M l-tirin n on nil sueh iaims.
, ''.rn ur l-r my hand and the seal of said Conn
i ' J W.MAItfHAM..
lu" l lRii.ro, .l.u l .ii.l A II. Iho.
i t FiO'iaf Jadg",
TE3i: XASIIY IMl'CI'.S.-Mr as
T3' Seaixlif liie Scriptures
and gets Comfnrt There
from. Saivt's Ivest, fjuich i in the )
Stait uv Nuo (Jersy,) Aug. 11, lSG3.
The couitcinj lushiiii uv the Nigger,
hcz, in tune past, given ine a grate
decl uv truble. Nigger Lez to me Lin
a inu'uU5, a ni'eniare. I never cood
see why the species wuz created, nev
er cooJ I utidercctar. J why they wuz put
onto the face uv the e-rth, any more
than toads or uther disgustm obgecks.
15ut!ast ni:e a lite Lust unto me I seed
it all!
I wuz low sperited and deprest.
Jeff Davis a pinin in a loathsum Dun
gun the Knglish cappiialists a mourn
in for their cotton-bonds and refusiu
to be comforted because the Confeder
acy is not Mrs. Surratt a danglin in
the air Military Courts plenty and
halis corpusis skarce the looseuis
with which people put their munny
into 7-30's the soljers returnin and
goin for constooshnel dimekrats, and
the ginral demoralisation uv Dimocri
sy, all conspired to give me the horrors,
and to add to my distress, the Jug wuz
out! To avoid madiiis I took up the
Uible (I board with a Justice uv the
Peace who hez to keep one to sware
witnesses on) and happend to open at
the 9th chapter uv Jennysis. Yoo
know all about that blessed chapter.
Noer, after the water went down,
cum down from Aryrat, went to farm
in, and planted grapesextensive. One
day he took a nip too much, and laid
down with insutliciheiit clothing onto
mm. ills son nam seeu nun in
that fix, and when Noer awoke, while
his hair wuz still pullin, he cust him
and his posterity, and se J they shood
be servants forever.
Ham, (wich in the original Hebrew
;e.,m n iiiua garter uv a hog,) wuz
the father uv tha Afrikius, and they
hev been slaves ever sence.
I seed a lite towunst I realized the
importance uv the nigger. He is the
cnnnect'.n Knk in the chane uv surkum
btances wich led to ihe formashun uv
the Di.nokratic party he hez kept the
blescd old masheen a runnin to this
iJay.
Observe. -
hisky (or wine, wich is all the
same thing,) mad? Noer tight.
Ham seed Noer inebriated.
Noer cust Ham, wich turned him in
to a nigger and a servant.
That the skripters mite be fulfilled,
the children uv Ham wuz brot to Amer
ica to be servance here.
Wikkid men set themselves agin the
ikripters. and tried to make men uv the
niggers.
The Dimnkratic party riz for the
purpose uv keepin the nigger down,
and '.hat deliteful biznis hez given them
employment for morn 'iO yeers.
I shet the book, I cood not help
remarkin in th3 word i uv the sani
inist :
"0o"d Lord upon hat blender threads,
Ilaiijj evuriasiin things."
Sposin Noer instid uv plantin grapes
hed gone to practisin law, or into the
grocery biznis, or Luyiu prodoose on
cemmishn, or puttin up patent medicins
he woodent hev got inebriated, he
woodent hev cust Ham, Ham wocdent
hev turned black, there woodent hev
bin no nisrrrers. no Abolitionists, and
consequently no Dimokrais.
0
Or, sposin all uv Ham's children had
taken dyptheria and died the same
results would hev follered.
Whisky made nigger, nigger made
Dimocrisy. Take away whisky and
nifTfTer, and Dimocrisy woodent be uv
akkount than a one-armed
man at a raisin.
Yhisky ! Nigger, Dimocrisy ! Oh,
savory trinity!
We don't none of us read the skrip
ters enufT.
rETR.OLEUM V. NASBY,
La it Paster uv the Church uv the Noo
Dispensashun.
Queby. If a young man should
shoot a young lady who had played the
coquette and jilted him, would he be
guilty cf insanity ?
S?"A French chemist asserts that
if tea be ground like coffee, before hot
water is put upon it, it will yield double
the amount of exhilerating qualities.
Another writer says that "if a piece o
lump sugar, the size of a walnut, is put
into the tea-pot, you will make the tea
infuse in one half the time."
While in many sections of the South
the rebels are tasking their higenuity
to invent and put in practice some
scheme cf compulsory labor which may
avoid the name and tbape of tl.ivery,
experiments of actual free labor are
now r.nd then made by the planters
thoniselves. The result cf one of these
experiments we find given by a planter
of twelve years experience, in the fol
lowing communication lo the Ne.v Or
leans Tribune:
Gentlemen: lam a planter of
twelve years experience: thjs year I
am working twelve hands, six men and
six women my laborers are to get one
fourth of the net proceeds of the crops.
They have a full understanding of their
interest in the said crops. Our con
tract v as made on the 1st of Februa
ry last, and the result so far is a com
plete success; we have to-day So ar
pents of cotton; 23 arpents of sugar
cane; 75 arpents of corn; all in per
fect condition. I don't mention the
vegetable crops.
Under the old system ten arpents to
the hand was considered a fair result,
and more than three fourths of the
plantations failed to come lo that stan
dard. My laborers are all good people,
behaving well, and having good com
mon sense; they are honest and true
to their family. Besides the crop in
common, they have raised for their
private account small crops of corn and
vegetables; they have poultry, Sec,, of
their own.
Not a single difficulty has occurred
among them since they have agreed
to work on my farm. I remain, gen
tlemen, respectfully yours,
X
. T".ssaii3f.
A letter has been received in this
city, this morning, detaiht' T-very in
teresting incident which occurred at J
Galena. At the time cf the breaking
out of the war, a young man by the
name of Ferguson, whose parents now
reside and were then residing in Gale
na, was attending a school in Ken
tucky. During the excitement of that
stirring time, the entire school joined
the Confedjrate army, and Ferguson
among them, who accepted a position
on Gen. Tightmau's staff. At Fort
. i . . i .t
lienry ne was capturea, anu in me
course of time was exchanged. lie
hen joined Morgan's forces and con
tinued fighting till again captured.
Sjo:i afterwards he effected his escape
and in traveling through the country he
ound himself in-iJe our lines, near
Nashville, was arrested and tried as a
py. lirig. Gen. Dickson, formerly a
crockery merchant of Galena, presi
ded over the court, and notwithstand-
ng the most powerful influence was
iroughtto bear for the commutation of
his punishment, Furguson vas senten
ced to be hung, and the sentence was
executed.
On last Friday, as Gn. Dickson was
standing ou one of the streets of Gale
na, talking with Senator Washlurne,
and making arrangements for uen.
Grant's reception in than city, Fergu
son's brother, a boyish cripple, came
up to him. He had been trying in vain
to procure a pistol, but failing in, this
he balanced Lim?elf on his crutch, seiz
ed his cane in both hands, and with
the exclamation "You are the scoun
drel who hung my brother ;" brought
it down with such force as to complete
y crush the Gereral's face, and to lay
him senseless on the ground. The
cripple, strange to say, then made his
escape. At first it was supposed that
Dickson was slain, but it is now sup
posed that his life will be saved. The
cripple has surrendered himself to the
authorities. Davenpoit Democrat.
?S5A Correspondent of the Bihi
more American, writing from Rich
mond, Virginia, on the 21st; gives the
following -
"A novel sight was witnessed on the
canal bank this evening at the foot o:
Tenth street. Over one hundred
Swedes, men, women and children
healthy, robust looking people, with
red cheeks and sharp-toed shoes, were
waiting lo take the boat for a farm in
Goochland. The first emigrants from
Sweden arrived here on the loth of
May, twenty-two in number, and the
next let, it is supposed, will number sev
eral hundred. They go to a farm up
on which a beautifut little village has
already been built for them, end on one
of the white cottages is "Stockholm" in
large letters, a name that will rejoice
their eyes. The colored people, of
whom there were a good many stand
ing around this newly arrived "labor,"
seemed very much disgusted at the
turn things have taken. A great many
remarks were made in hope of discour
aging the Swedes, but as they didn't
understand a word of English they
were all lost to them. A favorite ex
pression was : 'What you all come
from your rich country down here
whar we's poar as nuffin?" The idea
with the negroes was that they were
from the North; but while they
missed where they came from, they
were smart enough to know what dam
age their arrival here does the colored
race. These immigrants get twelve
dollars a month for the males, and
eight dollars a month for the females,
and fed. No male receives pay un
less he is fifteen years old."
Catholicism and Fenianism.
We find the following communica
tion in the St. Louis Republicin of the
31st ult:
to the romas catholics f saint
louis:
The undersigned -has read in the
Republican ot this morning, an an
nouncement of a funeral to take place
next Sunday from St. Patrick's Church
in ihin city, of a deceased menber of
the Fenian Brotherhood, who died at
St. Paul, Minnesota, on the 246 inst.
The occasion is evidently made for a
display, on the part of those iu Saint
Louis who are members of the associa
tion. Hence, the deferred inta-ment,
and the pageant which is to accompany
ilia i r;.i - -"unectiun of St r...
rick's Church, where the rpi;gi0u3 ser
vice is announced as to take place, and
where, without any authority from t!n
'astor of that church. H wouiu apaear
an oration, Ly a gentleman of this ci
ty, is to be delivered, imposts on nie
he obligation of forbidding, as I have
done the pastor of thatchuxh to per
mit any funeral service, or cxher relig
ious ceremony, to take place on this oc
casion. I have furthermore directed
the Superintendent of the Calviry Cem
etery r.ot to admit any procession of
men or women bearing insigna of Fe
nianism within the gale of the Cemete
ry. I use this occasion to staD public
ly, what I have uniformly stated in
private conversation, that the members
of the Fenian Brotherhood, rrtn or wo
men, are not admissable to tie sacra
ments of the Church as long as they
are united with that association, which
I have always regarded as lmnoral in
its object the exciting of rebellion in
Ireland, and unlawful andilhgal in its
means, a quasi-military organization
in this country while at peace vith Eng
land, to be made effective intke event
of war with that power.
f PETER RICHARD.
Archbishop ot St. Louis:
Rafting bt Steam. It was said of
old, that the only method of getting up
steam on a raft, was to take it on board
ia a jug. That era has passed, and a
new one has dawned. Several fleets
of rafts have passed the city within the
past few days propelled by "mosquito
steamboats." The steamer is made
fast to ihe rear of the fleet and shoves
it ahead. They do not makevery rap
id progress through the water, but it is
a gain of twenty miles a day over the
t,lt mot-Wl. rtrul reauiresl a much less
number of hands. All that ij required
1 C knewlaa tlA CtOH TT
now to worn a ue,
er's hands, which cannot be less than
three or four, is just enough in eraer
cencies to work the forward sweeps
Ordinarily two men forward will keep
the rafts in their proper track. xu
buque Times.
The Growth or Young Timber
I want to tell my story, which I know
to be true and perfectly correct, as al
the parties are to me.well known and
of unimpeachable varacity. The scene
is in Berkshire Co., Mass. A boy
reaped wheat in a field that boy grew
to be a man, acd lived to the ripe oi
nT of 82 vears. Before he died he
! sat in his chair and saw a neighbor o
his from day Jo day drawing saw logs
to mill. This man drew, sawed and
sold 151,000 feet of lumber, and a
from 3 1-2 acres of the ground upon
which the old man when a boy had
reaped wheat. The timber was most
jy pine, some oak. i believe pine
will grow as fast here as that. IJau-k
eye, Keokuk, 'Jvg. 8, 1S65.
MARYLAND FKEEDJIE..
The Freedmen's Bureau received a
a report from an officer, sent on a tour
of investigation through the lower Ma
ryland counties, showing the condition
of the Government farms. There are
three of these farms cultivated for the
Government by the freedmen. Of
over thirteen hundred acres under cul
tivation, exclusive of the gardens ef
the people, on; hundred and seventy
five acres are planted in wheat, 630 in
corn, 215 in tobacco, 240 in oats, sev
en in potatoes and four in beans.
There are 33" people reported on the
farms 121 men, 210 women, and 203
children under fourteen years of age.
They are divided into two classes
laborers and' dependents. The first
class includes one hundred and sixteen
men and 121 women, who are self-
supporting the second wives of men;
S9 men and 233 children, who are
not in addition to the regular farm
ing operations. Over 1,000 cords of
of wood have been cut, piled up, and
drawn, and wharves built at the landing
places, buildings repaired, fences built,
&.c. Saw and grist mill are being put
in running order, which, when comple
ted, will supply every need in that
direction. The people are in good
condition and very well contented; are
well clad and tidy, and their persons,
clothing and houses neat and clean.
The Commissioners says he found but
one case of concubinage. There is no
minister among the people, or within
reach, and a desire to have one was ex
pressed by all with whom I conversed
on all of tho t'arnu. Schools are in
peration under a superintendent of the
New York Society of Friends, which
a aw W
xpense. The attention and inCe'rest
evinced by their pupils is remarkable,
nd great progress has been made by
hem in the common branches of study.
nder the supervision of Mrs. O'Brian,
whose effoits in behalf of the freed-
en are animated, gratuitous and
m
practical. Large amounts oi cioiuing
are receive d i'rom benevolent societies,
Mmornli inaniifar.tured into rrarments
under her direction by the women; two
ewing machines have just been pro-
cured, and tn coioreu women a.e uB-
i i i i
be-
ng taugnt me use or. iuem. auc ic-
... r .i TM. 1
turns of Government property are
complete, and with the system in ope-
ration there can be no loss or waste.
The condition of the farming utensils
s perfect, the spirit ot tne people in
the vicinity of the farmers is decidedly
lostile, and almost any outrage likely
in hp committed. In sneaking of the
frrmfir, . L. C.ark remarks he was
much nleasdd with the care and neat-
n.. of rverMhinr? in the building and
- - .
: f,.., ,
neias so superior to u
these lower aiaryiami Pm-
Generally lr.dolence anu snirinng are
i i i
rare and are punished by a stoppage
of wages, and scarcely ever does the
punishment require repetition.
l'MOt'LAMATIOX !
Whereas, liy my prociamnuons oi
the 13th and 21th of June, i&oo, re-
moving restrictions in part upon inter
nal, domestic and coast wise intercourse
and trade with States recently declared
in insurrection, certain articles were
exempted from the effects of said
proclamutioti; and
W.tpheas. The necessity lor re-
,,o 4 In s.iirl articles has now.
M I It. 1 1 11 1- Lauoaw - " I
in a great measure, ceased, it is nere
by ordered, that on and after ihe 1st of
September, 1S65, all restrictions afore'
said be removed, so that articles de-
clartd by said proclamation to be
i
contraband of war may be imported
into said Sutea and sold, subject only
io Mich rer llations as the Secretary of
.hP Treasury may prescribe.
In testimony whereof, I have here-
, - -
unto set my hand and caused the great
seal of the United States to be affix-
j
TY..,a . ,ha ritv of Washington,
., , j r a, tr,o v-Pr of
X Uv IA fc J v
mis tu uay vi V 7 j;
our Lord one thousand eight hundred
and sixty-five, and of the Independence
of the Unred States of America the I
ninetieth.
ANDREW JOHNSON.
By the President of the U. Slates,
Wm. II. Seward, Sec. State.
ARTEMIS 1VAKI) IJOIV.V EAST
Brigham Young has eighty wves,
besides those waich are only "sealed,
aud with him.
"Hi Rve s not wistly,
Kut too (hundred) well."
The Vice President has two hundred
head of cattle and two hundred head
of wives. They have an awful appe
tite. I once thoughtlessly gave a
family ticket to an elder to atend my
lecture. He came and filled tha whole
house. 'Twas a success that night; but
I didn't get any money.
The seventeen wives of a deceased
Elder tried to make a Mormon of me
and marry them. They wept; they
hove a siah ("seventeen sighs a sigh
of considerable size.) They put their
soft hand in mine; (seventeen hands;)
surrounding me, There I was alone,
away from my parents ! I exclaimed,
I hope you have no dishonorable in ten
tions ! As I took myself away, they
said in their grit. is too much !
Vhat was just the thing that troubled
me in their request and so I said,
is too much.
When captured by the Indians, 1
saw descending upon me, the glistening
thomas-hawk in the morning light.
I had reinforcements no pontoons, no
last ditch with me, and I had no female
attire, so I says boldly I surrender !
I was allowed to march out with my
side-arms and green cotton umbrella
which my aunt at Saccarap had given
me. I didn't feel afraid no I for
I had exposed my life before. I once
stood at Centreville and saw thousands
of bullets those leaden messengers of
death ! thousands of them passed close
by me packed in boxes and wagons.
BSA bachelor friend suggests that
in view of the recent verdict in Wash-
iriuju, ynnn.o; mpn should be circum
spect and careful in their attention to
Wade Hampton. This noted robel
once declared ho would never surrender,
and when ho did "come down," ho swore
he would not ask for pardon, but would
"die first." This was in the good old-
fashioned Southern stylo, and looked
tradedy all over. But Wade thinks bet.
ter oi u, ana conciuues not. to -uto urai,
just at present, and bo ho seeks the Presi-
dent and begs his pardon. Wado is evi-
iM??!
this looks that way. R. M. T. Hunter is
also anxious for forgiveness, and we need
nnt.hn .,,, ln hear of Breckiniidze.
r ...
glidell ,Mason and more of that ilk creep
;nK8iviy to Washington one of these days
Their bravo, like Wado Hampton's must
bo all gone by this time. Philadelphia
Inquirer
xKGU3 AXD Webster. "According to
Webster's Dictionary, which is standard
authority, the Democrats are for negro
suffrage. The old lexicographer detines
the word Democrat thus: Ono who ad
kercs to a government by the people, or
I J - inin Ld :rht ff 9 II it m CT 0
" 1 ' J
to art classes of men.'-'
This is not the only instance of Webster
. IIa savs that rvsus is
"-(-
H maJo of winC) water, sugar,
nutmeT anj lemon juice." Tho Negus
we haTo is made of skunk cabbage, poke
berries, disloyality, garlic, putrid exhal
ations, and "four-years-of-failuro,
tinctured with Chicago Convention "lov
, th tha fox oouid'nt
t rairarfd LnUcr,
Ttino the Knot. A young fellow was
taking a sleigh rido with a pretty girl,
when ho net a Methodist minister who
was somewhat celebrated for tying the
knot matrimonial at short notice. He
stopped him, and asked hurriedly:
"Can you tie a Knoi ior mer
Yes,"8tud Brother B , "l guess so,
when do vou want it done?"
"Well," right away," wa9 tho reply
"Is it lawful, though, hero in tho high
way
"Oh yes: this is as good a place as any
I "
na Bafe as the church itself
"Well, then, I want a knot tied in my
horse's tail to keep it out of the snow
shouted the wicked wng as he drove rap
idly away, fearing lest tha minister,
. , v,rt..!(i roil trnri
n proiano
6race- , , -
Fastest Growth Yet- A native
"Down East," describing with character
istic exaggeration, tte remarxanie prop
- I ,
ertiesof cuano, as a prompter ui vi-gcw
tion, said that a few hours after planting
" s
cam(j Uke a streak; and
althouo-h he started off at tho top of his
sneed the vines overtook and covered him
and on taking out his knife to cut the
"darned things," he found a largo cu
cumber gone to seed in his pocket
Peril of a Revivalist. An anecdote is
told of Fenny, tho "revivalist," and a
canalar, to tho following effect:
Ho was "holding forth" in Rochester,
and in walking along the canal one day,
ho camo across a boatman who was
swearing furiously. Marching up, he
confronted him and abruptly asked.
"Sir do you know where you aro go
ing?" The unsuspecting man innocently re
plied that he was going up the canal on
the boat Johnny Sands.
"No, sir, you are going tojiell faster
than a canal boat can carry you."
The boatman looked ut him in aston
ishment for a few minutes, and then re
turned the same question.
"Sir, do you know where you aro go
ing?" "I expect to go to Heaven."
"No, sir, you aro going into the ca
nal!" And suiting tho action to tho word, ho
took Fenny in his arms find tossed him
into tho murky waters, where ho would
have drowned had not.tho boatman re
lented and fished him out.
(37""Bob, Harry Smith has one of tho
greatest curiosities you ever saw."
"Don't say so what is itt"
"A tree that never sprouts, and be
comes smaller tho older it grows.
"Well that is a curiosity. Where did
ho get it?"
"From California."
"What is the name of it?"'
Axeltree it onco belonged to a Cali
fornia omnibus!"
Scene closed by Bob throwing an ink
stand at a half closed door.
2 An old Methodist, very good at
responses, which were not always appro
priate, though always well-meant, went
one day to hear a popular preacher.
The preacher, usually lucid, was rather
perplexed, and felt it himself. He labor
ed through the first part, and. then said;
"Brethern, Ihavo reached tho conclu
sion of my first part."
"Thank firwlt" - J
ested, in a voice that was heard in every
part of tho church. Tho last part of
that sermon was harder to preach than
the first.
C-The Albany Journal is now print
ed on paper made from bamboo, by a
process which promises tho best result.
The bamboo is brought from Jamaica, and
costs, delivered in the F.ast, from ten to
twelve dollars per cord. The paper is
firm, white, and with an excellent surface
and the body is equal to the best manu
factured from rap-s.
57"Tho 'buoy' which is reported to
have been s en near the supposed un
fortunate end of tho Atlantic cable, was
doubtless tho 'old boy,' to whom tho sub
marine wire has probably gone.
Coffee for Breakfast. Grind fine,
pour on whatwater.is needed, andjlot it
stand over night, then heat to a boiling
point, but do not let it boil. Or, grind,
and pour on hot water; ct for 15 min
utes on a hot stove, but do not boil.
Never boil coffee. Keep at tho boiling
point.
("The new correspondent of the Lon
don Times calls tho ladies' parlor in tho
American hotels a 'chamber of horror.'
C3?"G. Hosaphat thinks that the man
who first inveighed ngainst 'filthy lucre
had some of our old postal currency ia his
mind.
2fA later reporter says that tho lady
who figured in tho 'last love scandal' Js a
ncice of ex-President Tyler, and not of
General Harrison.
2 v naie on uas auvanceu twenty per
1 T-l 1 -Til 1 1 L L
cent in San Francisco, since tho news of
the Shenandoah's ravages.
C3?"WiUiam I. Johnson, bother of the
President has been appointed Surveyor of
Customs at Valasco, Texas. Ono of his
sons (nephew of the President) is keeper
of the penitentiary at Nashville.
(J"Mrs. Maria Thornton, widow of tho
celebrated Dr. Wm F. Thornton, first
United States Commissioner of Patents,
died at Washington some few weeks ago,
at the advanced age ono hundred years.
3?"A Yankee in Kansas sella liquor in
a gunbarrel instead of a glass, to evada
the law aud make it appear beyond dis
pute that ho is selling by the barrel.
f""Bill, give me a bite of your apple
and I will show you my sore toe, " Bill
did it, for such an overture could not be
resisted.
fp"Wby cannot a railway engine sit
down? Because it has a tender behind.
"Reports received at the Depart
ment of Agriculture warrants the state.,
ment that the potato crop th"i3 season
will bo one of the largest crops ever
grown in this country.