Nebraska advertiser. (Brownville, Nemaha County, N.T. [Neb.]) 1856-1882, December 29, 1881, Image 3

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Tlift advertiser.
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Subicriplion, $,2.00 per Vwr, in Ataere.
orni'1,11, iii:tt or tii iw,vt
AT THE riOTVlUS-QALLRRY.
Wo wont to boo tho pictures, Tojn nnd I,
Dpcuuko, In truth, wo both mo fond of art;
Ami thou, besides Well, 1 will toll you why:
Wo wished to louru oaoh painter's stylo by
heart.
Wo lingered nil tho nf tcrnoon, wo two,
It wu4to ptoastint In tho softened light.
Around nnd 'round wo wont, each gem to
vlow,
And orton almost kneoled for bettor sight.
Jndglngbr halting, and long, ongor looks,
lly rustling converse with our guldo and
friend,
Tho cntnlojriio hnd seemed tho book of books,
And llfo a strotch of paintings to tho end.
l'ldturo by picture, page by pngo, wo wont,
Dubbed this 0110 " perfect," and that other
"poor;"
You novor saw two critics so Intent.
I don't know what folks thought of us, I'm
sure.
Yet, do you know? somo things drive othors
out:
If you had nskod mo cro another dav
About tho picture on thoo walls, I doubt
It 1 had known a Hlnglo word to say.
In fact, thatovonlug, In our hotnoward walk,
Wo settled much concerning Tom and mo,
And not ono word was sulil, In nil our talk.
Of pictures or of painters don't you oco?
Hiuver'x llazur.
SAM SIMSIUIY'S TENSION.
For nioro than two years it was the
joko of Bloomington Center that
bright hope, that idle dream, Unit foiul,
delusive fancy, known as "Sam Spor
ry's Ponsion.
Thu wits who congregated in tho bar
room and grocery of the Bloomington
Centor Post-ofUco somctimos litul onlyu
sad consciousness of lutility in their
host efforts; thu column of facetiic in
tho local newspaper frequently pullod
on tlie senses; but Sam Sporry's lank
and stooping figure sis ho descended
faithfully, twice every week, from lus
lone homo on tho distant mountain, to
"learn the news from Washington,"
bore with it an aroma of never-failing
interest and diversion.
"Any 'ficial dokkormonts arrived for
mo?" Sam was accustomed to inquire,
on entering tho Post-otlioe, with an air
of ill-coucealed consoquenco; and on
being answered in the negative, tho
look of sudden surprise and incredu
lity which overspread his features was
always as fresh and real as it had been
during the first six months he had un
dergone Jho blow. His recovery was
as complete and instantaneous, when,
seated on the counter with tho "boys,"
he derided tho very existence of his
proud Nation's capital in terms of tho
most reckless sarcasm, or, in a softer
mood, induced by certain grateful po
tations, palliated tho weakness of olll
cial judgos with a forbearance which
his listeners found oven more irresisti
bly entertaining.
"They think they're comin' it over
me, down there to'Washington," Sam
observed on ono ocension, rolling his
eyes upon his near neighbor on tiic
counter with a look which was dark
without menace, and at tho same timo
forcibly introducing tho sharp point of
his elbow to that gentleman's ribs
"thoy think they're comin' it over mo,
down there to'Washington. And till
tho time they're hangm' oft' about
my pension, what's accumulatin' down
there? what's aceumulatiu?" Hero
Sam's companion was actually obliged
to more an inch or two away in order
to escape tho too sorcro emphasis of
that emaciated elbow. " Back pay!"
chuckled Sam: "that's what's accumula
tin' back pay! Let 'em hold oil' ton or
a dozen years longor, and I'll bo swim
min' in ba-k pay I'll bo fairly wal
lerin' in it."
With which the deeply confidential
sispoct of Sam's face changed to a
triumphant simper, and, turning to
nudge another companion (as ho sun
posed) on his right, ho inadvertently
thrust his elbow through tho wrappage
of a largo parcel of sugar, tho contents
of which were scattered over tho grooory
floor.
Sam's expression of dismay was piti
ful.
"Havo it chargecHo your back pay,
Sam" criod uu uproarious. though cheer
ful, voice.
Sam took up tho cuo, and over after
that his descent from the West Mount
ain, which had boforo been significant
of a small invoice of skunks' fur, blue
berries, and tho like, at tho Blooming
ton grocery, missod tho hampering
weight of tlioso hardly-acquired pro
duets, and Sam's business transactions
at tlio counter tho understanding
boinggood between thogroeor and tlioso
jolly Bloomington boys were rounded
by a regally careless: "Chargo it to
pension, Ned rog'lar pension or back
pay, I don't care which."
Karoly, very rarely, Sam really did
fih'd'a'document waiting for him at tho
Post-ollico, marked with thomystorious
seal of tho Department of tho Interior,
and opened it with fingers of trembling
expectation, only to find a printed sheet
of painfully wbri'ed statistics, to the ef
fect that ' besides tho two hundred
and ninety thousand lillod claims, oth
ers woro constantly being entered, but
' that iu duo timo eacli would rocoivo
careful consideration," etc. His first
heat of dosperato indignation yielded
later to tears of unaffected sentiment, as
ho murmured: "l'onsion! I guess so,
boys! tho grass 'll bo growing over my
grave boforo J seo any ponsion," and
'later still to smile andhopo again.
Tho gunshot wound in his right hand
upon which Sam had based his claim on
tho National bounty was of small no
count compared with tho harm which
lie had suffered, both in body and soul,
from tho soldiers' camp lifo, tho South
ern marshes and tho Southern prisons.
"I don't know what Sam might 'a
beon, orwhathomightnot'nboon," vxul '
Judge Holcomb, aprospormis citizen of
Hloomington. "Pon my lienor, boys,
ho irgnn uncommon bright, though ho
wa'n't never what ve'd call portick'ler
tough or long-winded. But I can tell
yo ono thing, Sam Sporry wa'n't novor
tho same man after he come out o' thai
Southern prison."
Even attor this asseveration 1 do not
know that any of tho frequenters of tiio
Hloomington bazar remarked that thu
boyish head on Sam's bent shoulders,
with its rings of close-curling light hair,
was of a Byronio cast, or that his oyos,
when not filmy from tho effects of aguo
or rum, woro of such a perfect, and
heavenly bluo as is seldom so.tin iu tho
undimmed orbs of children. Sam was
their Punch, their by-word, their the-ator-comiquo;
thoy would havo paid
twice tho price of his lordly though pru
dent negotiations at the counter rather
than miss tho zestutlordod by his semi
weekly appearance. With a touch of
real pity, too, porhaps, for their old
comrade, thoy cajoled with him in his
forlorn liopo, encouragod in him at all
times tho freest expression of Ids sen
timents, Mattered him and regaled
him. And often, alas' tho foot
which had como shulll'mg down
tho mountain awkwardly enough
and loosely enough, rotracod thoir
stops iu it still more desultory nnd un
certain manner, and chance passers-by
havo told how Sain, pausing at length
by somo way-side fence, frequent
ly nudged tho post with his elbow, as
though having just committed to it
somo gravely confidential or facetious
remark.
There was ono person whom Sam's
weakness and derelictions failed to in
spire with appreciative mirth. Jn the
neighborhood of Sam's house on tho
mountain tiiero woro two other homos.
One was possessed bv Isaac Travers with
his belligerent wife and numerous small
children; in the other Mary Ellsworth
dwelt alono with her mother.
Years ago, Sam and Mary had gone
down hand in hand to tho school kopt
iu tho little, hamlet at tho foot of tho
mountain. Mary still keeps tho grecn
cororcd "speller" iu which slio and
Sam studied thoir los3ous together.
And thoy wore' at tho head of the class
always, tho mountain boy and girl
always at tho head of tho class, and
always' first and most imperious in play;
Mary small, brown-eyed, sliurp-wittod,
and Sam handsome and tall, with his
cherubic curls and snuoy roil lips.
Then Sam's parents died, and ho
went ovor to help John Ellsworth in his
mill, and tho work prospered under his
strong, blithe hand. And as tho days
passed by, Sam and Mary shrank coyly
away from tho affect ionato intimacy of
thoir childhood, and ended by falling
as deeply in lovo with eaeli other as
though thoy had now for tho first timo
exchanged glances across tho rapturous
bounds of manhood and maidenhood.
Thoir lovo, having such tendor root iu
tho past, sent out bright branches of
hope for tho future, and was as strong
as lifo with thorn both. Mary would
havo borne anything for Sam; and Sam,
who was of a "quick and impetuous na
ture found his equilibrium in tho
sweet firmness of Mary's character, and
adored her for tho loving sarcasm with
which she rebuked his pot faults such
bright and captivating faults as Sam's
were then.
bam and Mary woro ongaged when
tho war broke out; and the two men of
John Ellsworth's housohold wont away,
and tbo two wouioii waited iu thoir sol
itary home on tho mountain, cheered
oy letters at first; afterward thoir
only hope lay in somo chance re
turning figure along tho road that
came winding up from tho villages
below. John Ellsworth novor catno
.back along that doar familiar road; and
when Sam returned ono dav, weak,
ague-shaken, demented, but still fondly,
foolishly faithful, Mary, called of God
to onduro this greater sorrow than any
doatli could bring, spent tho solitude of
ono black night in terrible rebellion, and
whou tho morning dawned, laid her
broken heart at the foot of tho cross,
and rose with a calm "I will for ovor
moro." Sam went back wondoringly to oc
cupy tho long-deserted home" of his
childhood; but it was Mary's hand that
brought him broad and meat, that made
his bod, and swept tho floor, and fur
nished Ids poor homo with ovorv com
fort. Sam know that it was all changed
somehow. The tongue once so win
ning! v sarcastic was now ovor too
deeply compassionate. Ho sorrowed
ovor it with tho raguo sorrow of a
child. But ho trusted Mary. She
know; sho would sot it all right in time.
Tho light, tho hope, the promise of li is
youth, so helplessly, so mysteriously
lost thoy were all kopt waiting for
him somewhere in Mary's great dark
eyes.
But when Sam came tottoring up tho
hill, on his return homo, ho had
brought with him a parcel tho contents
of which Jio had not revealed to any oyo.
It contained his wedding clothes, now
and sleek, ot tho finest black broadcloth.
In tho pathetic loneliness of his homo
he acquired the habit of fondling those,
of gloating ovoi: tliom, ovon of trying
thorn on before tho glass; and thou, as
ho stood in his host mood, witli his
bonny hair carefully curled, ono never
saw so sweet and weak a face. Sam
longed yet over hesitated to appear bo
foro Mary iu these splendid habiliments.
That strange trouble on his mind
deterred him. Ho was novor so shy,
so conscious of his lost estate as whon in
"Miss Mary's" presence novor withal
so strangely happy and contont. Ono
evening as ho sat boforo her, tho wed
ding garments ho had loft at homo
filled all his thought.
"I--I novor cared for any girl but
you, Mary," ho oxolaimed abruptly,
with a spark of tho old lire in his eyes.
"I I never cokW." '
"No, Sam." Mary answered, gently,
" I don't believe you ovor could"
"You- you promised ,to marry mo
once," said Sam, that brief lire chang
ing, for another instant, to a look of
solemn wonderland reproach.
A deathly in.llor crept ovor Mary's
face. Then sho camo close to Sam, and
laid her hand on his. and looked into
ids oyes with nil tho boautiful tender
ness nnd pity of her deeply trlod soul.
"I shall always hb truo to you,
Sam," sho said. "Thoro tiro some
tilings wo can't undorstand. Wo must
bo pationt. But that what wo hoped
for once now in this world thai,
dear Sam, must novor bol"
"Yes, Mary," Sam answerod, swoot
ly obedient, thrilled through and
through by the touch of her doar hand,
"that must novor bo." And ho repeat
ed tho words'simply all tho way homo:
" That must novor bo." It was all
right, somehow. "Mary know." But
ho folded tho wedding clothes and put
them away that night as ono who
should novor need to take thorn down
again.
After tliis tho ruined lifo clung still
closer to that strong and patient ono,
and tho little services which Sam
was accustomed to perform for Mary,
whon not suffering with the aguo,
or following after tho fond hal
lucination of his "ponsion" tho
fetching of wood and tho drawing
of wator those lost to his poor, ador
ing mind every baso and menial qual
ity, and woro like tho offering of a de
votee laid tremblingly at tho loot of an
angel.
And tho timo passed all too swiftly
for tho work of Mary's hands. Be
sides her ministrations to Sam and her
mother, her generous thought for the
wrotehod Travers family, the name of
Mary Ellsworth, for tho gracious help
and sympathy which it implied, was
known and loved iu all tho villages bo
low; and, in times of sickness or sor
row, or added care, tho journey up tho
mountain-side was cheap which could
procure a day of those coveted serv
ices. It was tho aftlictiou of unexpooted
company which had overtaken Judge
Holcomb' s wifolosshoine aim refractory
servants. Mary, with rare firmness,
established there in a dav her univer
sal rule of peace. Among tho other
guosts was a young actress from Now
York, tlio Judge's nioeo, blonde, hand
some, magnilicent. At evening, as
Mary stood, boforo lior return
homo, waiting an instant in tlio
hall, so quiet and demure, with her
dark hair parted in an old, old fashion,
and lior sad, lustrous oyes and her
face breathing that inoll'ablo refine
ment which tho calm endurance of
somo hidden and exalted sorrow alono
can givo, tho dashing young actress ad
vaueod upon her suddenly, and folded
her witli an impetuous gesture iu her
strong wliito arms. "I lovo you!" sho
whispered. "I lovo you! I lovo you
dosporatoly!"
Tho ,Ii
udgo's own wooing was less im
passioned, when, some weeks after
ward he left his smart horse and buggy
at Mary's gate, and entered tlio house.
"1 formed a very fav'rablo opinion of
you, Mary," said this grandiose person
age, "a good many years ago, and l'vo
noror had any cause to alter that opin
ion. In fact, I como in hero to say
that I should like to havo you como
down to my houso in the capacity of a
wife."
Thero was a grace, a perfect solf-roli-anco.
in Marv's old-fashioned manner,
which relieved it from any imputation
of stillness, as she answered, in much
tlio samo words that she had used in ad
dressing Sam some timo boforo, but
with suoh a different tone in tlio ring of
lior doar voice: "I thank you, but Hint
can novor bo." And tlio Judge drove
away, amazed and disappointed, but,
most of all, sorry for Mary.
Sam was the next caller. Ho had
seen tho smart buggy at Mary's gato
He entered, timid and hesitating, and
sat for some timo shifting uneasily
about in his chair. At length: "I I
novor eared for any girl but you, Mary.
I I novor could," ho repeated, ear
nestly. And Mary answerod, as sho had done
before, " No, Sam, I don't believe yo
ovor could."
Sam drew his sleevo quickly across
his oyes. "You you ain't goin' to
leave the old mountain, Mary?"
Never!" Mary answorod, "and, as bo
foro, her tone quieted and consoled
him.
After what soomod a long timo,
though tho tears woro still standing iu
am s bluo oyes, " I forgot, Mary," ho
said, meekly. "1 camo in to say
you're young yet, and handsome, Mary
and if you had a better chance -I
don't know what I what wo should
do without you but if you had a bettor
chance -jou you mustn't you know
Mary"
Thero ho paused. Mary did not
smilo, but her heart yearned ovor Sam
as a mothor's might ovor a child who
lias tried in vain to bo good and bravo
and unselfish. And Sam went away
comforted.
It was tho third bleak winter since
Sam's return to tlio mountain, "and lie
meanwhile growing weaker and sillier
with oaoh successive season, but ever
faithful in his inquiries after his pen
sion at tho Bloomington Post-ollico.
Tlio Bloomington boys thought it a
rare joko to impress 'upon his mind
that tho only roason why Miss Mary de
ferred giving him hor hand in marriage
was Ids continued inability to obtain ids
ponsion.
"Jest wait till you got your pension,
Sam," said Ned Hemingway, tho store
keeper, delicately hintiug on this point,
"and then seo!"
And Sam doubted utterly at 'first
away down in his heart doubted alwiJys;
but as ho lout himself more and more
to tlio orratic fancy, it fired and con
sumed his brain.
One night, from the nltornato chills
and fevers which shook his framo,
Sam fell asleep. Instead of his lone,
dark room, tho road winding from
tho mountain to tho village rose
boforo his eyos. That road, usu
ally so tortuoiiB and long, was
straight and batliod In light, lie trav
orsed it. At tho end a palace gato,
and at the gate a white-winged angol
stood, his ponsion in her shining hand.
Sam gazed. Above tlioso peaceful
wings was Mary's faco. Sho smiled as
sho had smiled upon him long ago. Ho
woko, and slept no moro thai night.
With tho morning he put on Ins wed
ding clothes. No doubt or hesitation
possessed him now. Thero was a ter
rible exultation iu his oyes. This timo
ho did not slop, as was his wont, at
Miss Mary's house. Tho road down
the mountain-side was tortuous and
long. There was no palace gato at tho
ontl; no pension. Tlioso who watehud
Sam's face in this last Instanco of his
ovor-recurrlng disappointment say that
a look came ovor it which had never
boon thoro boforo. Ho rested on tho
counter and drowsed, and almost faint,
ed, but ho would not drink. This pro
voked unbounded astonishment. Sam's
dying flush oravud tho cup with tin aw
ful thirst, hut Mary's eyes wore
strongor, and Mary's eyes seemed to
bo upon him, and ho would not drink.
' It would choke mo, boys," ho tried
to say, turning away weakly.
He manifested a desire to mako his
will. It was a rare occasion at tlio
Bloomington grocery.
" It's all to go to Mary," ho ox
olaimed, excitedly, "ponsion, baok pay
and all." Tlio bust llamu of tho fever
was lliokoring and wasting in his oyes.
He rested and dozed again. At noon
ho slartod for homo; at four o'olook bo
had travorsod only half of tlio lonely
winter road; at the foot of the mount
ain it was sunsot ho staggered and
fell down. Wo shrink from tlio reeordH
of fates so sad, Wo need not fear.
Ono greater than wo. and moro com
passionate by far, comforts the death
of His lambs when thoy fall in tho deso
late places. Tho pain in Sam's body
eased. Across his mind ilittod a brief
trouble.
"I wish Mary could know," ho said,
"that I wouldn't touch it for hor
sake." And later and more solemnly:
" I wish Mary could know that I
Hoom now to understand. I soum
now to seo "
An old story lolls of tho prodigal
who wandered, and who camo baok to
his father's houso; of tho purpose, run
ning through all thu weakness and
sin, of tho wonder and suffering of our
human lives to mako us hungry,
and to bring us homo. So, ovor
Sam's wasting faco, there crept first
tint infinite, unbearable hunger of tho
soul, ami thou the quiet look of one
whom uou loads homo; and tho blue
eyos, piercing now beyond tho light of
sun or moon, mot unshrinkingly the
shadows of the deepening nignt, and
unshrinkingly tho clear gazo of tho
solemn stars.
And Mary knew. Whon thoy
brought Sam home to hor in his wed
ding garments, slio looked upon his
face, and sho know that tho bridegroom
had, indeed, como back, clothed and
joyful, to the bride; the lost spirit to
tlio strength and boauty of its first es
tate. And sho kissed tho dead lips in
that last aot of perfect lovo and conse
cration, and knelt and thanked (Sod.
A few days after Sam's death, Ned
Hemingway, ontoring Mary's houso,
eitiior lrom curiosity or worthier mo
tives, with a stammerod apology, and
tho words: "Of course it ain't o' no
account, but I thought yo might like to
keep it," handed Mary the will in
which Sam had devised to hor his pon
sion. As lie did this, tlio mirthful
grocor cast down his oyes, and blushed
to tho roots of his hair. Mary took tlio
little parchment, read it quietly, and
just tho shadow of a smile played about
tho beautiful tenderness of her lips.
Then sho turned to tlio grocor, and un
consciously transfixed him with lior
clear, thoughtful, half inattentive gaze.
"I think Sam owed you something,"
she said.
"Oli, no, no," stammerod tho grocor.
"That's all right Tho boys Ml soo to
that."
"I should prefer to have you givo mo
tho bill," Mary said; and still tranlixod
by that courteously oompollinggazo, the
abashod and reluctant grocer complied.
Mary keeps the will in which Sam
gave hor his pension, with a lock of hair
that was always golden and boyish, and
thogroon-covorod spelling-book. Some
times in tlio pauses of her toil slio can
smilo hor tender smile over those, sho
can wcop blessed tears over them.
But it any ono should say that hers
had lieeii a famished heart famished
for all the joyful possibilities, tlio wife
hood, the motherhood, that might havo
boon tho thought would pale boforo
tho tranquil glory of hor oyes, There
has como to tlio life of tiiis lone watcher
on tlio mountain a fullness such as few
may know. Tlio autumn winds that
speak with thoir low wail of death to
tlio dwellers in the valloy land below,
bring to her clearer senso sweet mess
ages of homo. Harper's Mtujnzinc.
m
A Good Dessert for a Change
Mako nico short dough like pio-crust,
roll quite thin, sprinkle on some thinly
sliced cooking apples, roll up not too
tight, wrap in a thin clean cloth, tio
rather loosely, and steam for nearly an
hour and a half. Sorvo with, sauce or
cream and sugar, as you like best. Mix
a pinch of soda in tlio Hour thoroughly
boforo tlio shortening.
--Tho Upnor Mississippi load Holds
include 2.UUO.00O acres 200,000 in
Iowa, '100,000 in Northern Illinois, and
1,400,000 in Wisconsin. Tho value of
tho gross amount of load produced iu
tlio fields since 1820 is about $70,000,-000.
FACTS AND FKJUUES.'
Florida will semi 20,000,000 or
nngos to mtirkot this soason, although
thoro woro sovoro frosts last winter.
Twenty-live thousand specimens of
spider's in glass bottles ' havo been ar
ranged by Captain Holdou, ofCinciu-
A jiapor mill at IIolyoKo: Mass.,
mado 21,1)00 pounds pf paper,, in twenty
four hours oudnorunehiiietho blggost
run on liocord.
Tlitf cottolrStalos conmnho 42,232,
21 1 bushels more wheat than they
raise, and pay to tho North for wheat,
corn, oa'ts and hay $150,000,000 an
nually. The magnitude of the cattlo inter
est in Colorado may bo inferred from
tho fact that, according to a Into esti
mate, there are 1,000,000 cattle bolng
foil iu the valleys of that Stato, and as
yot the business is in its Infancy.
Tho relative value of silver and
gold, as deduced from the proportion
of the two metals, was eight to one from
1 l!)!l to 1680; forty-nino to ono sixty
years latorj livo to ono from about 18fl!
to 18(10 an average during the whole
period of nineteen to one. At tho pres
ent time it is about eleven and ivjialf to
one.
Tho Pullman carshops.at Pullman,
near Chicago, have secured the order
for tlio passongor train equipment of
tho Now York, St. Louis & Chicago
road, which, with that of some connect
ing roads, make a total of 200 cars, all
ot which tiro to be novel iu construction
and exterior finish, and models iu many
respects.
Sidney Dillon, ono of Jay Gould's
paitnon), Is about to build the costliest
and moU ornate private rosidence on
this continent. It is to he oroctod at
tho cornorof Fifth avonuo and Seventy
sixth street, Now York City, and the
houso. with tho grounds surrounding it,
will cover thirteen full city lots, four of
which Will bo on Fifth avonuo.
In 1820 tho third-class receipts on
English railroads amounted to loss than
twonty-sovon per cont. of tho whole;
now thoy constitute sixty-thtoo per
cout. Then thirty-two per cent, of tho
earnings was from first-class traTllo,
now only sixteen per cont. is gainod
from tlmt source. Tho decline iu
second-class and the increase in third
class tratlic lias been partly caused by
a practical abolition of second-class ac
commodation by loading roads. Tho
railway ollloials thought that if second
class conveniences woro done away
most former second-class travelers
would go lirst-olass; as a matter of faot,
thoy moved to tlio third-class carriages.
In this country tlio oll'ort to drlvo peo
ple of small means into Pullmans and
palaces, by making second-class cars
uncomfortable, in various ways lias
boon moro successful.
WIT AND .VISDOJI.
A pugllst should find no dilllulty In
boxing tho compass. Detroit Tribune.
It is no use to attempt to put on
stylo unless you havo a good gait.
Cambridyc 'lYibune.
Politicians ought to mako good tele
graph repair men. Thoy are nsod to
pulling wires Chronicle-Herald.
A fashion magaipe says; "Stool
trimmings are no longor tlio stylo."
That settles it. Lay aside your b'owio
knives. Boston lost.
Why may a tipsy man fall into the
river with impunity?" Because lie won't
drown as long as ids head swims.
1'opular Science Monthly.
Siueo the wreck of tho Nowark
bank the Jamos brothers fool that a
greater than them has arisen iu thu
land. New 1'orh Commercial Adver
tiser. "A.M. it." asks this conundrum:
"Why do tho French eat Joss than any
other Nation?" Because ono ogg is al
ways nn ceuf for them. Huston Tran
script. A lady writos that no man will
stare long'at a woman who does not
stare back. That sounds well; but if
slio does not stare baok, how is sho to
know whether tlio man has stopped
staring or not? Hartford. Times.
We liopo sotnothing will bo done
to check tlio romantic notion of marry
ing men to reform thoni. It will bo im
possible to accommodate any more such
couples at tho alms-houso, as that insti
tution is full. Philadelphia News.
"What can I do for you to iuduco
you to go to bed now?" asked a Low
ell mamma of lior livo-yoar-ald boy
Monday evening. "You can lot mo sit
up a little longer," was tho youngster's
reply. Lowell Courier.
Wo regret to inform our fair cor
respondent, Mrs. McKallorty of Sloven
son street, that after deligont search
wo find thoro is no clause in tlio Con
stitution of tho United States making it
a penal offence for Mrs. O'Hooliluin,
whoso back yard is to tlio windward of
Mrs. Moll's, to sift ashes while tho
MoHalferty linon is hung out to dry.
It is just those inexcusable omission to
protect tlio most sacred rigliis of our
prominent citizens that are slowly but
surely bringing about tho downfall of
thisallogod Republic. San Francisco
Post.
In the. market: Young housokeopor
"Havo you a calf's head? I think
John would like ono for dinner." "Yes,
wo have one nicely cleaned. Shall I
send it up?" "And havo you any
quail? 1 think quail on toast would
pleaso him." "Some just in this morn
ing." "And let mo seo, a loin of boof.
Is it quite season for venison yot?"
"No. Shall I send tho calf's head,
quail and loin of beef?" "Well, no, I
guess not. You can givo mo a half a
pound of pork steak." A'ctw Uavcii
lie (j inter.