H THE ADVERTISER. Subscription, $2.00 ptr Year, in Ahacre. orrii'iti. rAi'iiii up th covsty TWO WOMEN. A grandma Mta In hor great armchair; Ituitny swcot is tho soft sprint? nlr. Through tho latticed, lllao-shadowod pano 8ho looks to tho orchnnl bcyoml tho lauo; And she cntchos tho gleam of a woman's drew As It Uwtters about In tho wind's caross. " That child Is Kind as tho day Is tang lier lovor Is coming, hor llfo's u songl" Hj) from tho orchard's llowory bloom Float fragranoo faint to tho darkening room Where grandma dreams, till u tondor grace And a softer llirht stent into hor face. For once uimln slio Is young and fair, And twining i-ojos In her hair. Once again, blithe as tho lark iilxivo, She Is only a girl, and a girl in lovul Thoyoarsdrop from hor tholr weary pain; Hho is clasped In her lover's arms again! Tho lust faint glimmers of daylight dlo; Utnrs tremble out of tho purple sky; lire Dora tilts up the garden path, Badly afraid of grandma's wrath; With rose-red cheeks and (lying hair She nestles down by tho old armchair. "(Irundma. Dick says may wo nmv I -" Tho faltering voice grows straugoly shy; Hut grandma prcssos tho little hand: " Vos, my dcurie, L understand! " Ho may hnvo vou. dnrllngt" Not all In vain Did grandma dream sho was young again 1 Bho gently twists a shlnlnir curl; "Ah, mol tho philosophy of a glrll "Tako tho world's treasures Its noblest, best And love will outweigh all tho rest!" And through tho eusemeut tho moonlight cold Streams on two honds one gray, one gold. H'aWiiMUtim Post. THE VICTIM OF A VIRTUE. 1 am ono of those persons, envied for three months in tho your and pitied for nine, who "livo a 'littlo way" out of London. In tho summer our residonco is a charming ono; tho garden especial ly is delightful untl attracts troops of London friends. They are not only al ways willing to dine with us, but drop in of their own motion and stay for tho last train to town. Tho vuguo obser vation "any line day," oi tho more evasive phrase "some lino day," used in complimentary invitations, arc then very dangerous lor us to employ, for wo arc taken at our word, just as though wo meant it. Tins would bo verv gratifying, however expensive, if it only happened all tho year round. Hut Irom October to Juno nobody cotnos near us. In reply to our modest invitations wo thou receive such expressions of tender regret as would convince tho most sceptical: "a previous engagement," "indisposition of our youngest born," "the horses ill," some catastrophe or other, always provontsour friends from enjoying another evening with us "like that charming ono thoy spent last July," They hope, howover, to be given tho same happy chanco again, " when tho weather is a littlo less in clement," by which thoy moan next summer. As for coming to dine with us in winter, thoy will seo us further first- by which t'hov mean noaror first. Sometimes at thoir own boards wo hear this stated, though of couiso with out any intentional application. Some guests will observe to us, a propot of dinners: "It is most extraordinary how people who livo half a dozen miles out of town will attempt to ignore tho sea sons ami expect you to go and dine with them just jus if it was August, through four feet of snow. It does really socm as Jones, our oxcollent host, was say ing tho other day tho very height of personal concoit." As wo have occupied our present res idence for soiiio years, wo have long had the concoit t:iken out of us; but we have still our footings. Our soeijil toes :iro not absolutely frost-bitten, and when thus trodden upon wo tiro aware of tho circumstances. It grieves us to know wliat Jones has thought (and said) of us, and my wife drops a quiet te:ir or two duringour drive homo in tho brougham. I am bound to confess it is rather a long ride. 1 find myself dropping asleep before wo have left brick and mortar behind us, and as wo cross the great common near our homo I teel a considcrtiblo change in tho tem perature. It is a beautiful breezy spot, with a lovely view in summer time; tho playground of tho buttorUy and tho placo of business of Uhhico; but in win ter it is cold and lonely enough. In tho daytime tlioro is nobody there at all. In tho evening, :it uncertain in tervals, thoro is tho patrol. In old times it used to bo a favorito haunt of tho Knights of tho Road; during whoso epoch, by thoby.lshouldfanoy thatthoso who lived in tho localit' found it even more dilllcult to collect thoir friends around them than now. It has still a bad name for tramps and vagabonds, which makes my wife a littlo nervous when the days begin to "draw in" and our visitors to draw oil'. Sho insists upon my going over tho house bofovo retiring to rest every night and making a report of "All's well.' Reing myself not much over live feet high in my boots, and considerably loss in my slip pors (in which 1 am wont to make thoso perogrinations), it has often suggested itsolf to my mind that it would bo more judicious to loavo tho burglars to do thoir worst, as regards tho plate and thing3, and not risk what is (to moi much more valuable. Of courso I could "hold tho lives of half a dozen men in my hand" si quotation from my favor ito author by merely arming myself with a loaded revolver; but tho simple fact U, I am so unskilled in the use of any weapon (unless the umbtella can be called such), that 1 should be just as likely to begin with shooting number one (that is mvself), as number two, tlio "first rulllau." "Never, willingly, my dear," say 1 to Julia, "will L sited the life-blood of any human being, and least of all my own." On tho other hand, tis I believe in the force of imagi nation, 1 jilways carry on thoso expedi tions, in tho pocket" of my dressing gown, a child's pistol belonging to our infant, Edward John which looks like a real ono, and would, I am porsuad ed, have all tlio cU'ects of a real ono in my hands without tho element of per sonal peril. "Miserable ru linns," 1 had niado up my mind to say, when coming upon tho gang, "your lives are in my power" (hero loxfiibit tho pis tol's butt), "but out of perhaps n;nis taken clemency 1 will only shoot ono of you, tho ouo that is tho last to leave my house. 1 shall count six" (or sixteen, according to the number of tho gang), "and then lire " Upon which thoy would. I calculated, all skodaddlo hoi-tor-poltor to tho door thoy got in at, which I should lock and double-lock after thorn. You may ask, Why double lock? but you will got no satisfactory roply. 1 know no moro what to "double-lock" means than you do, but my favorite novelist a sensational ono always uses it, and I conclude ho ought to know. It was tho beginning of a misty October, when tho leaves hud fallen oil' early, and our friends had fol lowed thoir example, and I had boon sitting up alone into tho small hours resolute to read my favorite author to tho bitter end his third volume, where in all the chief characters (exeopt tho comic ones) aro .slain, save ouo, who is left sound in wind and limb, but with an hereditary disposition to commit su icide. Somewhat dooressotl by its po rusiil and exceedingly sleepy, I went about my usual task of seeing all wjis right in a somewhat careless and per functory manner. All was right appa rently in tho drawing-room, all right certainly in the study (where I had my self been sitting), and fill right no, not quite all right in our littlo back hall or vestibule, where, upon tho round table, tin very largest and thickest pair of navvy's boots I over saw wore stand ing between my wife's neat littlo um brella and a pair of her gardening gloves. Even m that awful moment I rcmoniber tlio senso of contrast sind in congruity struck mo almost as forcibly Jistho presence of the boots themselves, and thoy astonished and alarmed mo as much jus tho sight of the famous foot prints did Robinson Crusoe, and for precisely tho same reason. Tho boot and the print were nothing in them selves, but my intelligence, now fully iiwakened, at once How to the conclu sion that somebody must have been there to have loft them, and was proba bly in the neighborhood, and indeed under my root, :it that very moment. If you give l'rof. Owen a foot of any creature (just as of less scientific per sons we siiy: (Jive them an inch, they will take an ell), he will build up tho whole animal out of his own head; and something of tho Professor's marvollous instinct was on this occasion mine. 1 pictured to myself (and as it turned out, correctly) a monster moro than six feet high, broad in tlio shoulders, heavy in tho jowl, witli legs like stone balus trades, and hands, but too often clenched, of tho size of pumpkins. Tho vestibule led into tho pantry, where no doubt this giant, with his ono idea, or half a ono, would conclude tho chief part of our plate to bo, whereas it was lying unloss he had already takon it; a terrible thought that Hashed through my mind, followed by a cluster of oth ers, like a comet with its tail under our bed. Of course I could have gono to tho pantry at once, but I felt averse to bo precipitato; perhaps (upon finding nothing to steal) this poor wretch would lool remorse for what ho had done and go away. It would bo a wicked thing to doprivo him of tho op portunity of repentance. Moreover, it struck mo that lie might not bo a theif after all, but only a cousin (con siderably "removed") of ono of tho maid servants. It would have been very wrong of hor to lot him into the house at such an hour, but it was just possible that she had done so, and that lio was at that moment supping in tho kitclien upon certain cold grouse which 1 knew woro in tho larder. Such a stato of things. I repeat, would have been roprohonsiblo, but 1 mostsincerlv hoped that it had oecurod. A clandestine at tachment, howover misplaced, is better than burglary with possible violonco. Coughing rather loudly, to givo tiio gentlonian notice that I was about, and to suggest that ho had bettor tako him self on in my temporary absence, 1 went up to tho attics to mako inquiries. And here I am tempted to a digres sion concerning tho oxcessivo somno lency of fomalo domestics. As regards our own, at least, thoy remind me, ex cept in number, of tho Seven Sleepers. 1 knocked at (heir door about a quar ter of an hour before attracting their at tention, and it took mo another to con vince them (through tho ko hole) that it was not liro. If it had boon, thoy must all havo been burnt in their beds. Kolioed on this point, thoy woro scarcely less oxeitcd and "put out" by tho communication I was compelled to mako to them, though convoyed with tho utmost delicacy and rofinomout of which language is capable. 1 asked thorn whether by aculent ono of them chanced to have a male relative who woro exceptionally thick highlows; and if lie was likely to havo called recently that very evening, for example. Thoy all ropliod in indignant chorus that thoy had never hoard of such a thing by which thoy meant tho sug gestion; and that no cousin of theirs over did wear highlows, being all females without exception. Satisfied as to this (and groat ly dis appointed), 1 felt that it was now in cumbent upon mo to pursue my re searches. Candle in hand and pistol in pocket, 1 thoroforo explore tho pantry. To my groat relief, it was empty. Was it possiblo that the thief had departed P If so, he had gono without his highlows, for there thoy stood on tho vestibule table as largo as lifo, and, from tho ne cessity of tlio case, a size or two lamer. Their build and bulk, indeed impressed mo moro than over. Was it possible that only ono burglar had come in thoso boots? I entered the kitchen- not a mouse was stirring; on tho other hand, thoro was a logtou of black booties, who scuttled away In all directions oxcopt one. Thoy 'avoided the dresser be noath which lay tho gentleman I was looking for, curled up in a space much too small for him, but allectiug to bo asleep. Indeed, though previously I had not even hoard linn breathe, no sooner did the light from my candle fall upon him than he began to snore stentoriously. I folt at onco that this was to givo mo tho idea of tlio slumber that follows honost toil. I knew bo fore ho spoko that ho was going to toll mo how, tired and exhausted, ho had taken shelter under my roof, with no other object (however suspicious might bo tho circumstances of his position') than a night's rest, of which he stood in urgent need. "Don't shoot, sir," ho said, fori took care to lot tho handle of Edward John's pistol protrude fiotn my dressing-gown, "lam poor, but honest; I only camo in hero for tho warmth and to havo a snooze." "How did you get in?" I inquired, sternly. "I just prized up tlio wash' us' winder," was his plaintive roply, "and laid down 'ore." "Thou you put out your boots in tlio back hall to bo cleaned in tho morning, 1 suppose?" At tilts ho grinnod a dreadful grin. It seemed to say: "As you have the whip-hand of mo, you may bo as humor ous as you please; but if' it was not for that pistol, my fine friend, you would be laughing on the other sido of your mouth, I reckon." "Come, march," said I. "Put ou your boots." Ho got up as a wild boast rises from his lair, and slouched before mo Into tho hall. Though ho looked exceedingly wicked, 1 folt gratoful to him for going so peaceably, and was moved to com passion. "Woro vou really in want, that you came here?" 1 said. "Aro you hun gry?" "Not now," ho answered, with a leer. Ofcoui'ieho was intimating that ho had supped at my oxpeuso, and at. tho time I thought it frank of him to ac knowledge it. If I had known then, as I learnt afterward, that he had eaten a grouse and a half, and tho whole con tents of a large jar of Devonshire cream winch we had just received as a pres ent, I should havo thought (more im pudence. I did think 'it rather impu dent when ho said, as ho stood at the front door, which I had opened for his exit: "Won't you givo mo hnlf-a-orown, sir, to put mo in an honest way of busi ness?" Hut, nevertheless, thinking it bettor to part good friends, I gave him what ho askod for. lie spit upon tho coin "lor luck." as ho was good enough to explain, "all 01 i.lso, perhaps, as a stib stituto for thanks", since he omitted to give mo any, and slouched down tho gravel sweep and out of tlio gate. It was three o'clock; tho mist had began to (dear, and tho moon and stars woro shining. A sort of holy calm bo gan to pervade mc. 1 felt that l-!ud done a good action and also got rid of It, very dangerous individual, and that it was high time that I should go to bed in poaco with all men. My wife, how over, who had been roused by tlio serv ants, was on the tip-too of expectation to hoar all that had taken place, and of course 1 had to toll her all. 1 described each thrilling incident with such dra matic force that she averred thatnolhing would over induce her in my absence to sloop in the house again. This was perhaps but tlio just punishment for a trifle of exaggeration in tlio narrative with which 1 had hero and thoro in dulged myself, but it was very unfor tunate Now and then I lind myself detained in town, after dining at the club, by circumstances over which I havo no control (such as a rubber at whist, which sometimes strotcli like In dia rubber), and hitherto 1 had only to telegraph in tlio afternoon to express my regret that thero was a possibility of my non-return. I lore was an end to all this, unloss I could reassure hor. I therefore began to dwell upon tho un likelihood of a second burglar over visit ing tho house, which I compared with thut famous hole mado by a cannon ball, said to lie a placo of security from cannon-balls for evermore. "Oh, don't toll mo," cried my wife, with just a truce of impatient irritation in her voice. "Hark!" goodness gra cious, what is that coming along tlio road!" Sho thought it was a burglar on horsobaek, whereas, if I may sd'oxpross it, it was the very contrary" the horso patrol. "Knock at the window; call him in. I insist upon your seeing him," sho ex claimod. I had no alternative, since she said "insist" (as any married man will understand), but to accodo to her wishes; so I wontout and told tho patrol what had happened. " How long ago was tho follow hore, sir?" ho inquired. "Moro than an hour. It is quite out of tho question you can overtake him. And beside, 1 really think he is repent ant, and moans for tho future to load an honest lifo." " You do, do you?" said tlio patrol, in that sort of compassionate tone of voico in which the visitor of a lunatic asylum addresses an inmate warranted harmless. "Well, as I am hero, I'll just go over tho house and mako sure thoro is no moro of them. It is not im possible, you seo, ho may havo lolt u pal behind him." "Thoro was only ouo pair of hoots," said I confidently; "of that I am cer tain." Nevertheless, as 1 folt It would bo a satisfaction to my wife, I acceded to his request. Ho tied his horse to tho sorapor, and came in with his lantern, and looked about him. Thero was no body in tlio front hall, of couiso, for I had just come through it; in tho drawing-room nobody, in tho vestibule nobody- but on the table where thoy had stood before stood a pair of gigantic navvy's boots. " What d'ye think of that?" whispor ed the patrol, pointing to one of them. "They're tho same, I answered in hushed ama.omout, "they're tho very same. I could swear to tliom among a thousand. What can it mean P" "Well, it moans that tho gentleman who was going to load a now lifo," ho answered dryly, "lias thought bottot of it and has come back again." And so lie had. Wo found him lying in tlio very same place under tho dresser, awaiting, I suppose, events. "0 1or is that you, Mr. Police man?" ho said, complniuingly. "Then it's all up." If lie had had to deal witli mo alouo, ho expected, perhaps, to have got an other half-crown out of mo. Hut tho groat probability was, ho had doubt loss argued, that all suspicion of bur glars, for that night at least, would have diml out, and tlut ho would havo had undisputed range of the house. It was a bold game, but ono in which all tho chances scorned to bo on Ids sido. 1 helped to fasten a strong strap to his wrist, which was already attached to that of the horse patrol's. "And now," said tlio latter, coolly, "wo will go and put on our boots." For tho second time that night 1 saw that operation accomplished by my burglar; for the second time saw him walk oil', though on this occasion a captive to his mounted companion. I did not wish, as tho judges say when thoy put on tho black cap, to add poignancy to the feelings of this un happy man (ho was on tiekot-of-leavo, and presently got live years' penal ser vitude), but 1 could not help saying: "1 think you ought to have been content witli your supper and half crown, and not como here again, at all events, in search of plunder. This aivHimunt had no sort of weight. l o --,"- with him, gratitude was unknown to J that savage breast. Like many more " civilized individuals, lie attributed hi I misfortunes to his own virtue. " No, sir, it ain't that," lie answered, scornfully. "I'm the wictim of Perse verance." llclyrama. Eating Too Much. Ton poisons dio prematurely of too much food where ono dies of too much drink. Thousands oat themselves into fovor, bowel diseases, dyspopsial throat affections, and other maladies. Some years ago, tho residents of a (Sormun city were ono morning wild with excitement. Everybody was poi soned. Tho doctors were Hying in ev ery direction. Water was tlio only thing thov had swallowed in common. The reservoir was examined. In ono corner a paper of poison was found. The stomach is the reservoir which supplies the whole body. A fovor, an iiiiiammatiou or some other malady appear.-!. There you will lind tho source of tho disease. 1 am acquainted with the table hab its of a largo nuinbor of persons. Thoy havo all eaten too much food. Nearly all, too much m quantity, but all have eaten food too highly concentrated. Yesterday I saw a dyspoptio friend eat ing pears at a fruit stand. Ho said with a smilo "1 go a few Hartlotts half a doon times a day." Certain diototio reformers soom to tiling if they eat coarse broad and ripo fruits, a peek is all right. Pino Hour bread, pies and cakos arc great ovils. A friend who has decayed teeth, dys pepsia, and a disagreeable eruption, all produced by excessive eating of ini proper food, declared in responso to my remonstrance, " Hut I never eat more than I want." Every person wants tho quantity lie has boon in the habit of eating. If ho could digest well two pounds a day but oat lour pounds, ho wuitln the latter quantity. A man may want a glass of spirits on rising. Ho is in tholinbit of drinking at that time. The body is strengthened by what it can digest and assimilate. Every ounce moro than this is mischievous. Tho man who oats just enough, suH'ors lit tlo from hunger. Pardon a word of my own experi ence. Ihirhur tmniv vimvu .f m-w.tinn I - H 'J .7VM...J W. ,(l.VSV.U at my profession, I had but littlo mus cular oxoroi.se. I ato enormously. An hour's postponement of mv dinner was painful. Now 1 can omit a dinner al together without inconvenience I have lost twenty pounds in weight but fool a groat deal younger. (Moro than half tho thin people would gain flesh by eating less. ) I have only ono diototio rule from which I never depart, this rulo, kind reader, I commend to you. Always take on your plate, before ijoii bcytn, everything ioit are to cut. Thus you avoid the dessert, and aro pretty Hiiro not to oat too much. This simplo rulo has boon worth thousands to mo. Yes, I think thero aro persons who cat to littlo; but where thero is one such, thero aro hundreds who oat too much. Dr. Dio Lewis, in Golden Utile. PACTS AND FIGURES. --Now York City Inflicts the country with 6(1,000 drummers or commercial travolors, Hostou sends out 20,000 and Philadelphia 16,000. Largo bods of carboniferous iron, Dr. M. S. Mounior contends, aro contained in tho interior of the oarth, and these doposits at high tompora turos coming in contact with wntor yield hydrocarbons, which, upon suL sequentcombustiou, send up exhalations of carbonic acid from tho earth. This is his method of indicating the source of that acid in tho atmosphere. Tlio Iron Aye says: Tho cotton seed oil mills that are rapidly being put in operation in tlio South are creating no lltt o stir and discussion as to thoir oll'oot upon tho agricultural interests ol tho country. Tins is a comparatively now industry, and wo already find that no loss than 120,000 tons of oil cake, or cottonseed meal, has but recently been shipped abroad, not counting the sup ply soltl and consumed in non-cotton-producing sections of our own country. The newly-established postal-card factory at Castloton, in Rensselaer County, N. Y., otuplovs about 1110 men and women, who assisted by tho machinery,-dispose of 18,000 pounds ol paper and manufacture .'1,260,000 postals every twenty-four hours. Tlio contract calls for 2000,000,000 cards in four years, ami was awarded tho Fort Or ange Paper Company. To manufacture tho requisite pasteboards, 12,600,000 pounds of paper will bo used. Tho mill runs day and night. Tho papor-nin-oliino, which is the largest and most complete in the United States, has proved its capability by turning out a web of over twelve miles in length with out a break. It is not genorally known that the (iovorumoul has already appropriated $226,000 for tho construction of so vou reservoirs covering 1,100 square miles and to hold ton Joot of water on tho average, at the headwaters of the Mis sissippi. Ouo result of this inland son will no to soouro navigation seven months in the year in a vast area (iOO miles long; the only breaks in which will bo at St. Anthony, Pokogama and Littlo Palls. Tho wator will bo stored by tlio proposed dams from November to April, and then gradually lot out. It will greatly help to float lumber. In undations will bo prevented. The cost of ninintonniico will bo 87,600 per year. Tho Chippewa Reservation will bosomo what interfered with, and several vill ages will bo destroyed and paid for. WIT AM) WISDOM. A bad fix Repairing a broken window with an old hat. Detroit Free lYess. Tho man who toes the mark The old man who reaches out for Jane Ann's toiler at two o'clock ixl in. New Jersey Enterprise. In roply to the question: "Will the coming man bo bald?" tho Norristowu Jleralu iillirnis that "ho genorally is when ho first comes." Rebecca Yes, blind men may bo perfectly sano, although you do believe In tho saying: "Out of sight out of mind." i'onlcrrs Statesman. Fogg says that his friend Pingroy is so slow that ho never catches cold, and couldn't got within hailing distance of tho slowest of slow fevers. lloiton Transcript. A musical young friend of ours, wishing to bespeak his mistress' atten tion to the suppliant posture lie had takon up at hor foot, sang with thrill ing oll'eet this, his earliest exorcise: "Dora, mo for solace seo do." Fun. Tlioro is no season of tho year when tho press is not looking out for the. safe ty and welfare of some class of citizens. Just now red-hoadod moil aro warned not to climb trees as thoro is a great deal of squirrel shooting going on, and mistakes are apt to occur. Texai Sift inys. - Hill Arp suggests a Ceorgla Col onel's day at tho Imposition. William should bear in mind that Atlanta has mado no arrangements to entertain ev ery male citizen in the Stale at one time Hut if thoy will come in squads of ton or seventy-live thousand thoy can bo accommodated. Atlanta Con stitution. Tlio lliuijo Jlccoiiiiiig Fasliioniiblo. Thoro is good reason for believing that tlio heretofore despised banjo is to bo elovatod to tho lirst rank as a musical in strument. Some one has discovered thai it is of very ancient origin, and of course that is very much in its favor, as many persons delight in anything that is associated with antiquity. A rolio huntor in Egypt found, or says that lie found, in tho "tomb of a royal family, in ono ol tho oldest pyramids, a banjo of tho exact form of those played by plantation darkies. In his opinion tlio ancient Pharaohs delighted in tlio sweet, sounds produced by the banjo, which constituted the favorito music of tho country which has been called tlio cradle of civilization. It is'oasy to ac count for tlio introduction of tho banjo into this country. It was brought by tho negroes from Egypt by the way of Ethiopia. Many poople will now ad mire tho banjo who dospisod it whou it was thought to bo tho invention of somo negro barbarian. Indeed, it is stated that many aristocratic poople, as well as many accomplished musicians, havo long been pleased with tho banjo, and that tho lattor have played it "on the sly." Lord Dunravon,' of Kngland, is said to bo an accomplished banjo-plaj-tsr. Thalberg, tho groat pianist; Miss Nilsson and Clara Louise Kollogg, tho opera singers, aro also enthusiastic lovers of tlio ancient Egyptian instru ment. A London musical instrument maker states that ho cannot supplv tho demand for the fashionable rival of the piano. -ChUayo Times. I