Nebraska advertiser. (Brownville, Nemaha County, N.T. [Neb.]) 1856-1882, May 12, 1881, Image 7

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TJ1E ADVERTISER.
Subscription, $2.00 per Year, in Advance.
ornriAi. iwiMiu or Tin: roirXTY.
"A PRIME."
Sho wnlknl across tho Holds, loe-boimd,
I.lkenomoahy, sunny hint of spring,
An J sto iplni suddenly, sho found
A violet it dainty thlmj.
"Wliluh slimmed the chilly llirht of day
Until sweet "Aprlllo" inline that wuv.
They knew each other, urlrl imd llowpr;
There was some subtile bond betweoti;
And 'I Imd walked, thut wry hour,
Tho llelda. imd had no violet seen;
Tor mo tho winter lundcipe lily
All blossomlees imd black and gray.
Thoy knew mo not, blue llowcr, )ltio oyoij
Sho, caroler, pilled mo when we met;
The tender glance which I would prl.o
Above all thlnits, the vlolot !
Iteeclved; and I went on my way.
Companioned with tho cheerio day.
I'rom wintry dnya blue violets shrlnj;
From wintry lives bluo oyo will turn;
And yet If she. 1 onit-tlmes think,
Could hmiIIo on me with sweet concern,
Ono life so like thlVVJiH ry.day
Would sprlmr-tlmo noi'or dye and aye.
T. It. Hobcrttton. in llanter'n jWajiuiiie.
2ttY WliDDJXU TOUR.
I was only soventocn when Charlio
married mo, nlitl l'wrdtoniysolf foi Ui6
first lime Mrs, CharJosi Vail, Jr., uiul
saw tho 'initials of tho su'iiid blazdubd on
my now Saratoga trunk, when 'wo
started on our wedding journey .' My
wadding journey! I can sneak of it
calmly now, but tlio time was when it
harrowed up my inmost soul. To litis
day, Chat lie becomes wroth when it is
ment'nuod, and says it is my "con
founded imagination;" but lie knows,
and I know well, that that is only one
of thoso convenient little loopholes
through which big masculinity can crawl
on emergency; and tho facts remaining
unchanged and indisputable, I shall
defy Charlio and stato them to tho
world.
Imagine then, reader or listener,
"whoever you may be, that tho last silken
train has swept itself out of Trinity
Chapel, and the last note of thfc inevita
ble " Wedding March" shuddered itself
out of the big groaning organ, and that
Charlie and 1 aro married. Also, that
the kissing and crying over is aehioyed,
and tho voices of my husband's sisters
and mv maiden aunts, hailing doWn
blessings on our heads,- aro happily lost
in the distance that the only sound wo
hear is the rattle and roar of an express
train thundering eastward, and I am
looking out into tho golden noondav
watching tho Holds and roads anil vif
lages and woodlands race past us, and
sweep back into a room like running
water. Tliero wo- sat, two blissful
young fools but it isn't of our bliss or
our foolishness oithor, that I am going
to tell you only of tho single adventure
k of our weflding tour.
Charlio hadn't told mo where wo wore
to gipj and 1 rather liked being left in
ignorance, knowing no more than that
wo wore being swept away to some little
Paradise of our own it might bo an
island of the Hcsperidos, or Crusoe's
kingdom or Eden itsolf." "We stopped
at a good many stations by Iho way that
looked anything but Pnradaisicalj'but 1
.saw everything through a glass, rosily,
as 1 sat there demure and mute, by
Charlie's side. The shadows wero
growing short, and it was just noon,
when we stopped at soino "villo" or
other, whoso long, low, straggling
buildings, crowding close upon tho
track, and the broad, dusty village
street, branching off at right angles,
are photographed upon my memory.
Not lor anything intrinsically remarka
ble: there wero only a good many teams
and farm wagons, and open carriages,
and light carryalls, standing about, with
tho lazy horses rubbing against old
worm-eaten posts, under tho row of
drooping green trees, and plenty of peo
plo on the platform, crowding together
tor greeting and good-byes; it was a
commonplace evcry-day picture enough,
aril not even a protty ono, except in
fragments. There was a general exo
dus from tho car, and a rush dinnor
ward, as wo supposed, toward tho
swinging sign of some "House" or oth
er down'thu lazy littlo country btreot;
aud Charlie, looking at his watch, said
it was twelvo o'clock and didn't I want
some lunch?
Of eourso I didn't, but of course ho
said 1 must have it, and immediately
started up. Ho wouldn't bo live min
utes, ho said, and I musn't move till ho
came back. 1 was to guard our two
seats and let no one come nigh them,
and above all, 1 was to sit still and not
bo led astray by any possible warning
toohangoears. "We" re going through, '
Charlio remarked, "so just koop tho
seats, and don't pay any attention." I
nodded obedience, and Mr. Vail
marched out of tho car, loaving mo to
peer after him in tho crowd and catch
the last glimpse of his straw hat van
ishing down tho street.
1 watchod tho crowd, when Charlio
-was out of sight, and mused and won
dered over the faces, and built up all
sorts of dreamy speculations upon them,
us ono does in a crowd when thoy have
nothing bettor to think of. Presently
tho door banged open, and tho voTco of
.some unseen functionary shouted,
"Chango ears for 15os ton!"
Everybody began to scramble their
ba"3, and bundles aud canes together,
anil them was a rush among tho low
who ronmined my follow passengers.
I watched them go without emotion,
and merely settled myself more com
fortably 'for tho solitary journny
throu"'h which Churlov Imd indicated
wondering a little whoro its, terminus
mi.rlit ho. but in no wise disturbed
thereat.
1 Kf'iviifl out at tho neonlo for
live minutes longor ut, u;ist,.so said
tho -fat-faced clock in the "ladies
room opposite my window, though 1
made it futy at least by mental caotila
tion, and then the door swung open
again. This tlmo a head project oil It
self into tho car. roared "All out!" evi
dently at mo and vanished again. "I
won't got out," I replied, dofying thei
empty air. "Charlie told me to sit
still, and I'm going to. Oh. Charlie!
why in tho world don't you come
bauk!-"
But no Charlio camo to answer
mo, and I began to stare out in
tho crowd with rather more auious
eyes, and to grow a little hot and un
easy, and to think, with certain un
pleasant thrills running down my baok,
what would become of mo if the train
should start and Charlio shouldn't come
baok at all! At this awful point in my
meditations, tho locomotive gave vent
to an unearthly screech, which 1 took
for a promonitory symptom of depart
ure, aud was so terrified that I started
up from my soat just as tho littlo door
swung back for tho third time to admit
of a last warning, like that of Friar
Bacon's brazen head. Tkis timo the
face reappeared on a big shaggy suit
of clothes some six feet high, and was
a grjni, not to say irato, visage.
"Chango ears,' miss," saiu tho per
son, grutlly. "I told 'yon so twice' be
fore!" !
"I'm to sit stillt I renliod, mookly.
" I'm going through." I thought thin
was tho right thing to stiy, because
Charlio had siiid it; but it didn't 'havo
tho right effect.
"Change cars, then tliero's tho Bos
ton tvaln over thovc This car runs
back to Now York."
I simply stared atthoporson in itdog-
ged way that ho seemed to take very
ill.
"Cbmo!" he exclaimed, waxing im
patient. "You can't sit here all day,
you know. Where do you want to
go?"
"T I don't know." I stammered.
" I was told to sit still, and I I must
wait till the person comes back."
The person stared back at me now
with interest. "Where's your ticket?"
said he, extending a dirty hand.
"I haven't got it," 1 answered, in a
meek and conciliating tone. "My
Char at least the gentleman who is
with mo lias got them both,"
"Tho gentleman! Pretty follow ho
must bo! Told you to sit still, did ho?"
1 made no reply to this unwarrant
able lack of respect in referring to my
absent lord, but drew myself up and
looked severely out of tho window.
"Well, you can't go back to Now
York," observed my .tormentor, sum
marily. "Tho best tiling for you to
do is to get out and look for your gon
tlenian, Miss." Saying which lie
jerked my bag down tho rack, turned
tho opposite seat, which Charlio had
inverted, back into its place, and, by a
species of moral suasion, caused mo to
pick up my shawls, parasols, etc., and
tollow him in abject submission to tho
door.
"Now where did the gentleman
go?'' ho demanded, as ho handed mo
out on tho platform.
" Ho went to got mo some lunch," i
roplied, ajmost ready at this moment
to disgrace my pridoand cry.
"And told you to sit still, did ho?
Well, you stand right here and kcop a
look out for him. There's tho Boston
train over there, goes in fifteen min
utes, and ho can't gob into it without
j'Our seeing him, if ho ain't insido of
it already; and my advice to you is,
st'ok fast to him "if you lind him, for
he must need looking after!"
With which romarkablo words ho sot
down my bag, aud winked at a by
stander. " What's tho row?" inquired the per
son thus inviteit to participate in the
enjoyment of my woes. Then thoy
whispered about mo, I suppose aud
everybody turned and stared at me.
Poor littlo brido! There I stood,
holding fast my parasol, with a shawl
on one arm, my own smaller satchel on
tho other, aud Charlie's bigger ouo at
my feet, fooling like a very " lone, lorn
critter," indeed.
Thoro stood three men in a knot,
contemplating mo, and any quantity of
tho same species coming and going, who
all looked at mo as they passed, and
then turned round and stared again
and there was no Charlio visible in all
tho range of surrounding country. Diro
thoughts began to bo born within mo,
and to turn mo cold and damp with ex
treme terror, the nightmare of my in
fancy "being lost" came back upon
mo, and crushed my sovonteen years
and tho now dignity of Mrs. Charles
Vail, Jr., with a fell swoop. What was
to become of mo? Supposing there had
boon an accident, and Charlio knocked
down and awfully mangled, or that he
had just vanished away, as ono occa
sionally hears of respectable gontlomon
having done, and never would appear
again, or be heard of at all; supposing
1 wero just to stand thoro waiting, tho
trains shrieking away in tho distance,
and night coming on, and all these
strange men staring and whispering?
Prettv soon I should bogin to cry, for I
couldn't stand it much longer; and
hero I began to fool for my pocket
handkerchief, and that reminded mo of
my pookot-book as a slight resource. I
(lived to tho utmost corner of my pocket
boforo 1 remembered that I had eon
lidod it to Charlio, with wifely duty, at
the outset of our wedding trip.
At this alarming discovery, a cold
moisture broke out upon my entire
frame. A night passed under tho leo
of the depot, erouehod aniojig my littlo
possessions, now loomed lioioro mo
unless 1 could deposit tho same pos
sessions, or pawn my diamond ring and
my gold bracelets for a night's lodging
and a ticket back to Now York. I sup
pose the horror dopietod on my coun
tenance was a sufficient challenge for
inquiry. I hm' t know what an extreme
it must have roachod, but somebody
appeared to lind it moving, for a benov
olont voico presently saluted my oars.
" Aro you waiting bore for anybody,
Miw?" f turned around with a gasu of
alarm, whioh subsided, however, when
I mot an elderly face, spectacled and
benign in tho oxtrome.
"Excuse mo, Miss," said tho old
gentleman, in a sympathizing tone,
"aro you waiting for anyone?"
"I 1 yes, sir, I'm waiting for "
I onmo to a dead stop. For Charlio
should 1 say! "My husband" was a
step which was boyond uttoranco just
now. 1 only turned very red, choked
and twisted tho haiidlo of my bag in
silence.
"Is thoro anything I can do for you P"
"I-don't know whoro to go!" I
burst out. "Thoy told mo to chango
cars, and I didn't expect to, audi don't
know what to do."
My now friend looked bowildorod,
and then camo a step nearer, as ho in
quired, in a solemnly-lowered volco
"Aro you alone?"
"No, no," 1 said very quickly, undor
my breath.
"Who is with you?" said ho, with a
kind of confidential compassion that a
littlo confusod mo. 1 did not under
stand it.
"Mv a- a gentleman," I faltered
out. "He wont out to get mo some
thing, aud ho told me to sit still and not
move; and a man came aud made me
chango cars and 1 don't know which
oar wo wore to take and I don'tsee
him anywhere."
Hero I choked, bit my lips, and wink
ed my two 6yos hard, to wink tho tears
down.
"A gentleman!" repeated my friend,
solemnly. By this timo two more men
had drawn near to listen. "Your fa
ther?" "No." .
"Your brother, thon?" very mysteri
ously. "N-no.,'
I bogan to get very red and uncom
fortable, and to wish thoy wouldn't
stare so.
"Whoro arc you going, my dear?"
inquired tho lirst Samaritan, after a
solemn pause of some minutes.
"1 don't know," I answered, faintly.
" Ho didn't toll mo; ho just said, when
ho wont to got me some lunch, that I
wasn't to move if tho man said to chango
cars, for wo wero going through; and
I told tlio man so, but he made me
change."
" That ti;ain is a-going back to Now
York," said ono ot tho last arrivals,
grinning. "Going through to Boston,
was you?"
"1 don't know whoro I was going,"
I answered, very shortly.
"Lot mo see your tickot," said tho
old gentleman, feelingly.
Ho had a compassionate way of look
ing at mo over his spectacles; and ho
locked qtieorer still wlien 1 answered,
faintly:
"He's got it and my monoy and
oh, wliy don't'ho como?"
Here 1 cast loose all ceremony, and
burst into tears.
"Oil, don't cry now," said tho old
fontlonum, soothingly. "Don't now!
t' 11 bo all right you' ir lie taken care
of. Where did the your friend
where did ho go?. which way?"
"I don't know," I sobbed from bo
hind my handkorchief.
" Went to got some lunch, did ho
say? Well, now, can't you toll mo
what sort of a looking person ho was,,
and perhaps wo can lind him? Was he
old. or young?"
. -'Young,"' I murmured, still bohinda
barrier of canibpo. "W-with a yellow
mustache, and g-grey clothes, and a
straw hat."
"Protty bad business!" one of tho
men muttered aside to another. "Sharp
fellow!" dryly rospouded a secpnd.
And then thoro wero some antistrophios
of "What'stho matter?" "It'sashamo!"
"Left her did ho?" from a small
crowd that had by this timo started up
around mo.
"Woll, now, just como in hero and sit
down," said my old gentleman, pater
nally gathering up my bag, "and com
poso yourself, my dear, and we'll seo
what can bo done. Don't cry! it'llonly
, Hurry you, and won't do any good,
you know. There, that's right!" For
1 wiped my oyes with tho remnant of a
sob, pulled my veil down, and was
turning to follow him, when, behold!
as 1 swept tho landscape o'er with ono
last look of dospention, there ap
peared Charlio gray clothes, and straw
hat and yellow mustache coming in
tlm distance, with a brown papor parcel
under each arm.
"Tliero ho is!" 1 shriokod, dropping
bag and parasol in my eestaoy, anil
rushing down tho platform with extend
ed arms. "There he is! Oh, call him,
somebody toll him I'm hero! Mako
him look tins way!
'Where? Which? Whoro is ho?"
cried half a dozen mon, quito excitedly.
"Him in tho straw hat, with tho bun
dles? Holloa, sir! Holloa! Slop him!"
and threo small boys and one man start
ed in pursuit.
Poor Charlie! Thoro ho came, hurry
ing along in our direction, rather
' swiftly, it is true, but quito at his ease,
and with a smilling face, when my four
champions gave chase, And just as
, thoy uplifted their voices, and just as
I Charlio's oyes swooping tho surround-
ing scono.appoared to light upon them
just then did tlio locomotive behind
j which wo had boon sittiug liftcen min
, utns boforo, and which had beou back-
ing and snorting, advancing and back
ing again, after tho manner of trains,
! ohosu its time to set up a shriek and a
a iolQnt ringing of tho boll, and to go
puffing on its way back to Now York.
Ami Olmrlk) lirst stared wildly, and
then turned around and chased the loco-
tlvo, and the three small, boys and tho
man chased him, rondiug the air with
shouts of "Stop him!"
But Charlie couldn't koop up with
tho train ory long and the inipotonoy
of his elicits seemed to break upon him
suddenly, attor he had run himself very
hot and damp, audshod all the hot buns
from his brown paperparcol for twenty
yards along tho track. Ho turned and
faced his pursuers like a man at bay,
and, figuratively speaking, thoy foil up
on him.
"Stop thoro!" whoro aro you going?"
"Come baok after your young lady,
you scamp!" "Ain't you ashamed of
yourself" shouted tho small boy In
eestacy. "Wanted to run away, did
you? Didn't do it that time, oldfollerl"
" What, tlio douco do you wantP"
said Charlio, llorcoly. "Whoro's Sarah?
Whoro's my wlfcP"
"Thoro sho is!" roared a dozen
voices, with appropriate action of ai
many uuwashod hands. "Ain't got rid
of her so easy yet!"
I will draw a decorous voll over tho
embrace that followed, and tho profan
ities with which Charlio punctuated it,
and tho compliments exchanged by the
populaco, who evinced tho wildest joy
at what was supposed to be tlio itiseom
fituro of villainy. 1 will merely ob
servo that tho whistle of
train cut short our littlo
that 1 was hauled up on
the Boston
scene, aud
the last car
amid tho cheers of the
bystanders,
greatly multiplied sinco Charlie's ap
pearance on tho scono, and speeded on
my way by a parting roar from ono bo
novolont pdrsonago to " Koop a tight
eye on my young man, for ho warn't to
bo trusted as far as you could seo him!"
Also that Charlio shed bank notos as
well as buns in the oxoltement. of the
chase, and that my line parasol, with
an agate handle, the wedding gift of
my uolovod Arabella, is probably
marching around Blankvillo at this
very hour, poised in tlio Lisle-thread
hand of some village belle.
Children Druggril by Nurses.
Recently a correspondent of tho Sun
called attention to a practice in which
some coachmen have been detected in
saving themselves trouble by dosing
spirited horses with narcotics. A re
putable physician, with whom a report
er conversed on tho subject, said:
" Whou a child is cross, poovish, fretful,
rostless aud troublesome, it is not an
unusual thing for a physician to be
called, who prescribes a 'quieting
powder.' Tlio nurse is sent to the drug
storo with tho prescription, is told how
to administer it, aud in a short time,
instead of having a very wearisonio and
irritating duty to perform, the nurso
finds out that all she has to do Is to sit
by and watch a drowsy child. TlielosJ
son is not forgotten by tho nurse. Sho
is known at tho drug storo; sho knows
tlio number of tho proscription, sho
knows that she can buy it for a fow
conts, and sho therefore possesses her
self of tho slooping powder, to bo used
whonover she wants to have an easy
job.
"Wealthy parents think they can
shift their duties and responsibilities by
hiring servants to porform thoni. It
looks so easy, and seems such a porfoct
method of avoiding the annoyance, tho
sleepless nights tho wear and tear nl
the system wiuou is almost mgoparamo
from fiutliful attendance upon tho
healthiest child.
"But there aro very many nurses
now who know how to make pare
goric, laudanum, hydrato of chloral, or
morpliino do the work of nationt watch
ing and assiduous care. The rosult is
that children grow up stupefied under
tlio inlluenco of drugs, with their men
tal faculties impaired, and witii a taste
for stimulants that often leads them to
drunkards' graves. No children aro so
fortunato as tluiso of the moderately
well-oil' persons who have means suf
ficient to aid them in tlio drudgery of
household cares, but who give to their
children that personal care, that
thoughtful supervision, and that con
scientious devotion to duty that can
never bo bought with money, but aro
fondly forthcoming from" affection.
There aro also many mothers who do
not scruple to lighten their cares by
substituting drugs for duty. The drug
stores do a" lively trade in various nos
trums with fancy names which aro
simply well-known narcotics in a dig.
guised form. Opium is tho commonest
ingredient. The amount ot this stuff
that is sold is absolutely frightful. It
is bought and administered by parents
and nurses utterly ignorant of its
deleterious effects. It produces dis
orders of tlio digestive organs, con
stipation, and a long train of successivo
ills.
"What is tho remedy? Intelligent
parents must not cither uso these per
nicious drugs nor permit them to bo
used with their children. Strict watch
must bo kept for symptoms that will
betray tho surreptitious uso of the
drugs. Thus only can a growing abuse
bo slopped which threatens to inllict
sorious damage on tho rising genera
tion. If a cliild which is generally
noisy, boisterous, and lively suddenly
becomes drowsy, dull, aud stupid, it is
at least a fair subject for inquiry whoth
or the cause may not bo found in tlio
neighboring drug storo.
"The fact is that there ought to bo
some way of preventing the uso of old
I prescriptions. At present, when a pre
I scriptlon has been onco lillcd at a drug
storo, there is no trouble in getting it
renewed without the orders of a physi
cian. J'lioro is also a very loose moth
I oil of selling narcotics in most of our
drug stores, which is a crying evil.
Physicians aro made responsible for
much evil that occurs from the amateur
praetico of medicine. Barents are too
l often in tho habit of using old presorip
i tions wlien the symptoms of a disease
resemuio mat lor wiucii too proscrip
tion was originally given. This is play
ing wuii nro witii a
N. Y. Hun.
A lion flew intoa house near Rock
castle, Pa., tho other day, and knocked
down a rillo that was hanging on tho
wall, which was discharged, Killing a
proachor that was visiting the lamfly.
PERSONAL AND LITERARY.
Heino's gravo at Montnmrtro Is
described as being in tho most forlorn
stato. Tlio weather-worn and leafless
remains of a laurel wreath aro all tho
decorations it possossos.
The London Alliciucum calls Bret
liar to "ono of tho most popular of liv
ing writers of English," aud also says
that "within his limits tliero is no llv
ing writor who can improve on him."
Of tho making of books thoro is no
ondovenif "llnis' is put at tho last of
each of them. Within the past tifteeu
years tho Congressional Library has
doubled Itself tltroo times. It is ox
poctod that tho library will soon con
tain 1,000,000 volumes.
- Ivan Turgonoff, the novelist, is a
.porslstout traveler, and has made studies
for his books all over Europe. Paris ho
prefers for a homo. Ho is now sixty
two years old. Ho is tall, erect and
symmetrical His beard and his long
looks are white and his expression is
ono of kindliness and wisdom.
Mrs. Arnold, tlio wifo of the author
of "The Light of Asia," and grand
niece of Dr. Clianuing, is mentioned as
mi architect of distinction. Sho is
superintending tho making in London
ot tho memorial window to bo placed
by the Chauuing family in theChanuiug
Memorial Church at Newport.
-Millet sold his pleturo of "Tho
Angolus" to a dealer for .$200. Tho
dottier sold it for .$1,000, aud whonnoxt
sold It brought .$7,200. At a sale at the
Hotel Druot, Paris, recently this same
pleturo brought .$:12,00(). Twonty-llvo
years have made this difference in tlio
painter's fame, but it is no longer of
any use to him.
Gordon L. Ford, tho Now York
Tribune's business manager, has tlio
richest autograph collection i-n tho
country. It contains not loss than
25,000 bound volumes, (10,000 pam
phlets, fiO.OOO steel-plato portraits, and
75,000 autograph letters and docu
ments. There aro two rooms in which
tlio visitor can scarceiv nick tin a book
or piece of paper that is not a treasure.
One room contains only town and local
histories; of thoso thoro are 2,fi00. An
other room is devoted wholly to auto
graphs and stoOl portraits, and it is
packed full on sholvos and tables.
Not a slnglo paper, political or
otherwise, is published in tlio Irish
Coltio tongue. Yok this, says tlio Chtclio
Union, is tho spoken language of some
hundreds of thousands of persons in
Ireland. Honce tho establishment, of a
Gaolic newspaper is ono of tho cherished
objects of this society, whioh, since its
reeont establishment, has dovoloped a
remarkable degree of activity. Tho
real difficulty seems to bo that tho peo
ple cannot read the language winch
thoy speak with grammatical aeeuraoy.
Thoro aro not oven any class-books;
and Coltio literature, so interesting to
Continental philologists, exists only in
the form ot somo thousands of manu
scripts. HUMOROUS.
Ohio is said to be oxcitod bocauso
tho son of a Baptist minister has mar
ried the daughter of a Jewish rabbi.
Anything that tends to retard tho con
sumption of pork is certain to create
an excitement in Ohio. I'hilndclphiu
Chronicle-licruld.
Chicago is now going into training
schools for cookery on a grand scale.
Thoy aro nice places for ladies to drop
into and pinch dough and eat raisins,
and imagine that thoy can go right
home and cook a beefsteak. One old
grandmother is worth twenty such
schools. Detroit Free Iresn.
A French mother took her littlo
daughter, who promised to bo very
good, to mako a call with her. Convex
sation turns upon various pooplo. Says
the mother: "Yes, my cousin is not
handsome, but she has tho prettiest
teeth in the world." Child: "But mam
ma yours aro much, much prottior;
they've got gold all round 'em."
A writor in Ajiplcton1 a Journal oc
cupies several pages of that publica
tion in an effort to prove that thoro in
no such thing as womanly intuition.
Somo night whon this goiitleman comes
homo about thirteen o'clock and tries
to sneak into bod without having his
breath smell ho will discover the fal
lacy of his theory. Chicago Tribune.
Ho camo in to say that ho attended
a mooting last ovoning. "I niado an
address," ho said; "but please don't
uso my name. 1 ask it as a favor, if
you should, however, be careful to spoil
it with a final o, and say that 1 do busi
ness at tho old stand, where I have al
ways on hand a full assortment of "
etc., etc., etc. Wo shall respect Mr.
. 's fcolings and say nothing
about him. Boston Transcript.
The farmer's oldest boy now puts
on his heaviest boots, gets a grip ou
tlio plow handles, and, with tho
"lines" around his neck, yolls and
shouts and swears because the span
don't "haw" and "goo" just right
in turning corners. You'd .novor sus-
fieet that ho was the sanio follow who
ins been raising havoc among tho girls
all winter with Ids stunning maid neck
ties and stand-up papor collars. New
Haven Register.
When the maUien Isn't hutwlnir. of hor follow,
Of her fellow;
When her funev dotun t llKhtly turn to bungs,
Turn to Imiiitj,
It Jh ten to one that Hlio N netting yellow,
Gottliitf yellow,
And all broken up by Jeulmny's wild maw,
'Outty'd wild i)iiiiK3.
Whou you novor soo her outing tho fried
oyfetor,
The frlodo-vstor,
And she doesn't 'scorn to euro for Easter
clothes,
Knstor clothes, .
Don't fornrot that dhe's preparing for tho
cloister,
For tho ololstor,
And will no'or attain Invest in striped hou',
Striped hose,
Ckveland Ltadet.