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About Nebraska advertiser. (Brownville, Nemaha County, N.T. [Neb.]) 1856-1882 | View Entire Issue (April 7, 1881)
Mine Cowh Front Tooth In Their Up per Jans! A couplo of Third Ward citizens mot each other on the sidewalk last Monday morning as limy woro (Hurling for thoir gdnoes of ljusiiia, and one of ilium, who resides on Vim Huron street, asked tho oilier, ti Jackson street man, if cows had any front teeth on thoir tipper juw. The Jackson street man was a little astonished at the question, as there had been nothing said about cows, but re plied promptly: Why, of course they have front teeth on thoir upper jaw; how could they bite oil grass if they hadn't?" TJio Van Huron street man said it was not a question of logic, but a question of fact; and if the Jackson utreet man did not know whether cows had front .teeth on tho upper juw or not, he ought to say so. ' I did not ask you for your opinion," ho said; "J asked if you know." Tho Jackson streot man was a littlo iiottlcd at this, n.id replied with some warmth. Ho said if lie had u child throe years old who would ask such a question as that he should bo afraid tho child was an idiot. 4 You would?" " I certainly should." "Then," said the Van Huron street man, "as it is such a simple question, of course you can tell mo whether cows have got front teeth on their upper jaws or whether tliey have not." " Why, of course they have." "They Imvo, eh?" ' " yes." "I'll bet you ton dollars thoy haven't," said tho Van Huron street citizen, pulling out a roll of bills, and peeling oil' a cotiplo of lives and shaking ilium at his neighbor. " Put up or shut up." "There is some infernal catch about this thing," said the other, suspicious ly; " I might have known it, too, the minute you asked mo such an infernal idiotic question." "No catch at all about it," replied the other, " if cows have got front teeth on their upper jaws tho ton dollars is yours. If thoy haven't tho money is mine. Nothing could lie fairer than that, could there?" Hutslill the Jackson .street man hesi tated. It was barely possible that cows did not have any front teeth on their upper jaws. Ho remembered, then, that cows in biting oil' grass always throw thoir noses outward, while horses nipped it oil' by jerking thoir noso in ward. Ho was astonished at how near ho had couiu to being victimized, but he did not like to come down. Tho two woro thou near tho meat market, near the corner of Jackson and Michi gan Htroots, and tho Jackson street man was sure that a butcher would know for certain whether or not cows had front, teeth on their upper jaws; so ho pushed open tho door and said to the proprietor: "liiuelian, have cows got front tooth on thoir upper jaws?" Linohau was running a skewer through a roast of beef, but ho stopped, looking up in astonishment, and said: "What?" "Have cows got -front tooth on thoir upporjaws?" "Cows?" "Yos." "(lot front teotli on thoir upper jaws?" "Yes." "Upon my word I don't know." "You don't know?" "No. You soo I buy my boof by tho quarter at tho slaughter-house, and don't have anything to do with tho heads. Hut I can Had out lor you when 1 l'o over." "l wish you wouiu. So the Jackson street man ciosod tho dojr, and rojolnod his neighbor, and the two walked along without saying a word. A milk wagon was soon coming up tho street, and it was resolved to hail the driver and ask him tho ques tion, as it hi popularly supposed that milkmen are moro or loss fnmilinr with cows. The Van Huron street citizen cleared his throat andvyollod, "Hollo!" Tho milkman reined up, and said: "Go ahead with your tost3. If you find any water or chalk in that milk I'll glvo you tho whole of it." Tho citizen told him to bo culm, as they had no intention of testing his inilk, but only wanted to know if cows had front tooth on thoir upper jaws. Tho milkmnn looked at thorn about a minute ami thou whipped up his horses and drove oil", mentioning some kind of a fool that thoy woro. Up on Wiscon sin street thoy saw another milkman, delivering milk, and overtaking him thoy explained tho dispute. Ho smiled nitvlmrlv upon their ignorance, and said: "Of course cows havo front tooth on thoir uppor jaws a drivollng Idiot ought to know that much. A cow would bo a handsomo-looking object without any front tooth in hor uppor jaw, wouldn't shoP" "I'vo concluded to take that bot of yours," said tho Jackson street man to tho other. "Come, now, down with your dust. Put up or shut up." "Why didn't you do it, then, when you bait a olmneoP I novor claimed to know whether a cow had any uppor tooth on hor front jaw or not; I only thought I had road so somowhoro, and askod to know If you know about it for certain.' Hut now that tho thing Is settled, there is nothing to bot on as I can soo." "O, of courso not," said tho Jackson stroot man sarcastically; "of courso JlOt." Just Vnon Mr. Clark, of tho Nowhall House, happened along, and as tho milkman picked up his linys and d''vo oil', the Van Huron-streot man asked Mr. Clark If ho know anything about cows. Mr. Clurk said ho did. having formerly boon a farmer and a cattle buyer. "Well," said tho Van Huron streotor, "do you know I got the queerest idea into my head this morning about cows that a man over had. Somehow or other I got the idea that cows had no front teeth on their upper jaw; and I actually o He rod to bet ten dollars with this man that such was the ease. I don't see what possessed inc." "Well, If you had bet, you would have won the money," said Mr. ('lark. "What!" exclaimed both the citizens together. " T say if you had bet you would have won tho money, for cows have no front teeth on their upper jaws " "Sweet spirit near my prayer," said the Van Huron-street citizen, as ho brought out his roll and peeled oil' the two lives again and shook them at the Jaekson-streot man. who turned away with a sickly smile and said ho could not always be pulling out hismonev! Ignorance seems to bo stalking through the land like a Kansas grasshopper on stilts. Pcckv A MM. The Heors, anil What They Wan!. A correspondent asks what the Trans vaal is, what its inhabitants, tho Hoers, have done, and what the English have done, ami why they want to light about it. Without entering at this lime into minor details of dill'creuco or tho later incidents that havo pushed exaspera tion to hostility we will name the bioad or features of the controversy. Tho Transvaal is a region that includes all the country to the north of the Vaul lllvcr and honeo the name - as far as tho Limpopo (or Crocodile) River, and embraces both sides of the Quathlamba Mountains. It lies between latitude twonty-two degrees fifteen minutes and twenty. eight degrees forty minutes south, and longitude twenty-six decrees to thirty-two degrees fifteen minutes oast. Its area is about one hundred and llfteen thousand .square miles; and its population is estimated at throe hun dred thousand, of whom about ono-tenth are whiles. Now, certain Dutch Hoers who lived in Capo Colony and Natal became dis satisfied with Hritisli rule. They did not take kindly to a change which to tho old Hollanders of Manhattan made so Utile difl'erence. hike the people of tho Orange Free State thoy thought they would liko a government of their own. The Scotoh woro consoled for the merging of thoir nationality by tho consideration that a Scottish dynasty was seated on the Hritisli throne; and it was long ago pointed out to Dutch colonists whoso country was ceded to England that tho circumstances of a Dutch I'rinco having as 'ended tho En glish throne should reconcile them selves in a liko manner. Hut tho Hoers failed to see tho mattor in this light; such comfort thoy thought might havo been verv woll for con temporaneous enjoyment, but was of lit tlo worth merely as a reminiscence. Tims it was that in 1810 thoso dissat isliod Hoers marched, liko so many modern Hebrews, out of tho land of their masters and sot up a Republic for themselves on tho further side of tho Vaal. Thoy deemed this to bo free territory, and thought that at least thoy would only havo to contest thoir footing with savages. For a long time thoy cherished hopes that Great Hritaiii would allow thorn to enjoy thoir inde pendence in peace. Hut for some speeial reasons, apart from her custom ary lust for territory, Great Hritain began to feel otherwise disposod. On'o plausible reason given out for interfer ence was the four of a general war bo tweou the natives of Africa and tho European colonists; and, at last, in 1817, tho Transvaal was formally an nexed to tho Capo Colony. Such, in brief, is an outline of tho events that havo led to tho present war. r.nglaud wants tho Irausvaal, liko its neighbors, Natal and Capo Colony, to be added to the list of Imperial posses sions, ami assorts a claim to the soil I trior to tho Hoor occupation; and tho Joors want thoir independence. Wo have said enough to indicate aliko tho validity of thoir olaim to this indepen dence and also, unfortunatoly, thoir slender chance of forcibly maintaining it. N, Y. livening Post. Hew Seine Oaks Are Planted. It is a curious circumstance, and not generally known, that many of thoso oaks which are called siwntitncous two planted by the squirrel. This littlo animal has performed tho most essen tial service to tho English Navy Walking, one day, in tho woods be longing to tho Duke of Heafort, near Troyhouso, Monmouth, a traveler's at tention was diverted by a squirrel sit ting very composedly upon the ground. The passor-by stopped to observe its motions. lu a few minutes it darted liko lightning to tho top of a tree, be neath which it had boon sitting. In an instant it was down with an acorn in its mouth, and began to burrow tho earth with its hands. After digging a small holo, it stooped down and de posited tho acorn; then covering it, darted up the tvoo again. In a momont it was down with another, which it buried in the same manner. This tho squirrel continued to do, as long as tho traveler thought proper to watch it. Tho industry of this littlo animal is directed to tho purposo of security against want in tho wintor; and It is probablo, that as its memory is not suf ficiently rotontivo to onablo it to re member tho spots In which It deposits ovory aeorn, tho industrious little fol low loses a fow ovory year. These fow soring up, and are destined to supply tho place of tho narent tree. Thus is Hritain, in some measure, indebted to mo ministry ami oau memory ot n squirrel, t M'l l'tmt lMipi fiom trou to true, Ami sliulls hU uuu at liberty." G'lrl Dressmakers. Why do not tho girls of to-day bo- como thoir own dressmakers? Thoy would find an extraordinary stimulus and pleasure in the occupation, and there is nothing that would do more to take the nonsense out of them and put sense in its place, l'aper patterns, and tho shortening of tho skirts, have made the task easy, and once undertaken, it would not bo given up, for it would bo more interesting than "fancy" work. Probably the Inducement, to many, would bo much greater if the custom of giving girls an allowance for "dress" money was as common here as it is in England. Hut unfortunately it is not, and the majority of tho daughters of well-to-do fathers feel that the ell'ort would not bo appreciated, and would bring thorn no compensation. Young women, whoso parents occupy high po sitions in England, do all their own sewing in order to make their allow ance whieli ranges from $50 to $l'50 nor annum -do its work. Thoy may havo one dress in a season made by a dressmaker, not more, and this will probably be superintended by a dross maker in tho house, who occupies hor timo in cutting and fitting, while the young lady herself, with perhaps tho help of a family seamstress, does tho sowing. There is a great advantage in thus becoming acquainted with meth ods and personally conversant with ways and means, with tho exigencies und necessities of work, tho limitations as woll as Its possibilities. A good serv ant would infinitely rather work for a mistress who was thoroughly acquaint ed with the duties to bo performed, and therefore willing to make allowances; nnd on tho same principles, it is easier in making a dross to satisfy ono whoso ignorance makes hor at once exacting and uon-approclativo. It is strange to what an extent Amer ican women allow themselves to exist at tho mercy of dependents, through want of actual knowledge and practical experience of work. Some times t lie) rebel against an innovation, or long continued abuse, but the throwing up of tho work, and tho droad of being lolt to thoir own resources, brings tliein back quickly to the proper state of sub jugation to the dreaded cook or tho in flated modiste. Tho coat sleeve, such as women aro at present wearing, only exists by tho suhlimd unconsciousness of the laws of philosophy and anatomical formation on tho part of the wearers. Tlioro is no elbow to it or in it. Tho outside seam is rounded, 'tis true, but tho inside seam is straight, and every bend of the arm paralyzes it. Thirty years ago coat sleeves were cut so as" to allow for a gathering upon the under side, which gave porfoot ease to tho arm, and al lowed it to move and act without strain or pain. Now this is, nnd for a long time has been, impossible. Women who aro not engaged in work that re quires the steady uso of tho arm and hand may not find it so serious a ditll culty, but those engaged in writing, working at tolegiaphy, painting, or operating a Bowing machine, sutler tor tures. Ladies who do thoir dressmaking soon learn to pay attention to thoso details of comfort, which have nothing at all to do with fashion, but it is im possible to impress them upon tho average dressmaker. For ono tiling, she is too busy to attond to individual details. She follows copy, and only branches out whore you would rather not have her in trimming, and in massing up "drapeiios." This sleevo business lias become one ot the minor misories. With tho reduction in tho width and general outlino of tho dross, tho sleeve has grown closer and shorter until it holds the arm liko a viso and covers it like another skin. The whito insido cull' has disappeared, as thoro is no room for it. The sleeve is throe inches shorter than tho arm, but tho long glovo is supposed to come down to moot it. Tho tight sleevo would bo loss objectionable if it woro occasional, but it is tho sleevo of the ovory-day working and walking dresses; tho oc casional sleevo that is, tho dressy sleeve is variod and modified iu many different ways, and often is nosleovo at all. When a street jacket Is made by a dressmaker cm suite with, say, a woolon dress, tho misery is doubled. Tho arm is twico encased in sleeves which aro so short tlioro is no "pull" upon thorn, and so straight that thoy stop all tho vital currents and send the blood rush ing to tho head, whore it creates in a very short timo a lovely red nose. Thoro aro patterns of sleeves in which fullness is allowed for tho elbow, but dressmakers do not seoni to got hold of thorn. Lot ladies who aro about hav ing spring suits and jackots made, look out for the straight, paralysing coat- sloovo.- 'ccmnilimnc. Jlaple Supar Making. Sugar-making now and sugar-making as it was aro very ditl'eront tilings, and what it has gained in facility it lias lost in picturcsqueness. Tho old camp with its primitive appliances is no moro; tho " kottlo" has boon superseded by tho "pan," and tho trough is becomo a mass of crumbling decav. the women and children aro kept at homo, and no oiiL'or know tho o d-l mo do hrhts of "sugaring oil'," though in tho Arcadia of tho past thoir services woro not de spised, and the whole household set up Its abode in tho woods. Tho sapwascollocted then in troughs, each about three feet long, hollowed out of sections of poplars, and was con voyed to tho kettles in barrels, from which it was transferred by scoops. There were live or moro kettles, from ton to tliirty gallons In capacity, and each was lillod with sap, which was kct boiling, the largor kettles being refilled from tho smaller ones as evap oration reduced tho quantity. When the contents were reduced to a desired consistency, the hot sirup was dipped out and passed through a llannel strain er into covered tubs, from which again it was poured into a large, tliick-bot-tomed kottlo for the process of " stirring oil'," Homo milk and tho whites of several eggs being added to it. Thus prepared it was placed over a slow fire, and kept just below boiling-point until tho sediment and all foreign matters in it lloated to tho top and wore removed, when It became doliciously translucent. It was now exposed to a greater heat and gently boiled, the evaporation con tinuing, and bringing it nearer to tho point of granulation. Now the sugar maker was all watchfulness, and it fared ill with thoso who distracted him, for If tho golden liquid seething in tho kettle boiled tho least bit too much it would become dry in quality, while if it boiled too littlo, it would become "soggy." lie tested it constantly. plucKing threads of it from his stirring stick, and trailing them round in cups of cold water. While the threads yielded waxily to tho touch, the sugar was not yet done, but as soon as ono broke crisp between his lingers, the moment had come to take the kettle oil' tho lire. As tho sugar began to cool, it cryst illized round tho sides, and grad ually the whole miss, under a vigorous stirring, became granular. In that way sugar was made years ago, and when the sap flowed profusely tho operations were continued through the night, and the fires east strange shadows iu tho woods. , Hut instead of abut of logs a permanent .sugar-house is is now built, and furnished with many elaborate devices to prevent waste and deterioration. Formerly, when tho maplos were lapped with an auger, an "elder quill" was inserted in tho in cision to conduct the sap into the trough below; that is, a small pieco of older wood about throe incites long with tho pith bored out of it, which formed a tubo; but in most orchards to-day a galvanized iron spout is used, which has the advantage of not souring tho sap nor choking many pores. Every thing is "improved." Tho collections aro made with tho unvarying order of collections from letter-boxes, and if tho grovo is on a hill and tho sugar-house is iu a hollow, the sap, as it is gathorod, is emptied into a "flume," whieli quickly conducts it to a largo reservoir within tho building, wherein it is strained through cloth. A scoop or a ladle is as anachronistic as a jav elin. From tho reservoir the sap is conducted, as required, through tin pipes into a "heater," whence it passes through a series of iron tubes to bo de livered, after straining, in a condition for "sugaring oil'." Maple sugar as it reaches the market is of a clearer color for all these im provements; but thoro are some who actually say that the flavor has fallen olV, and that tho honv' pnlont uvnpariv tors aro a snare. Ono change has cer tainly not boon for tho bettor, and that is the abandonment of tho social lifo of tho old camps, which made sugar timo in tho Grocn Mountains enduring memories with thoso who aro now ebb ing away. IK II. llidcing, in Harper's Magazine. The Helpless Hoy. Thoro is a great deal of talk about training tho girls, and if all tho advice that has boon given were conscientious ly acted upon there would be but fow girls loft to train. Girls and boys need to bo considerately "let alono." To be nagged at from morning till night will sport tho best character; and as no good gardeuor would pull up a plant by the roots to see how It was growing, so the human plant should be cultivated and eared for in a way that will not teaso it into becoming a deformity or a mon strosity. Tho helpless boy! Haven't you often seen him? lie can't tie a string, or sow on a button, or unwind a snarl, or cook an egg, or wash a dish, or find any thing ho has been sont to look for. Thoy aro things ho dislikes to do, and, never having been made to do tliein, shirks out whenevor ho can got a chance. If ho has a mother sho spoils him by continually trotting around and doing everything ho is too lazy to do for him- solt. If he has a sister I pitv hor. for sho will havo no rest from morning till night; his demands will be constant and his helplessness continually on tho in crease. The small boy can bo made to fcol that it is manly to bo helpful. Ho must bo taught to wait on others instead of having others wait, upon him, and trained slowly and kindly to habits of thoughtful consideration which will bo of immonso advantage to him when ho is full-grown. Tho helpless boy is a nuisance, and thoso who oncourago him in his indo lent ways are doing him and society the greatest ot injuries. Mothors do not iivo forever, and sistors are not always available. Ho marries, and is careful to secure au cnorgotio holpmoot. If sickness enters tho houso, tho helpless man is a doublo burden; ho can't start uio uro, nor maKo a cup ot toa or a bowl of gruol, and is obliged to call on r, . "" """1"1" -""" I i0 "oignuors to keep himself and his i """ """ waiving iu uuumi. Hoys ought to know moro about the kitchon than many of them do. It is no disgrace to know how to cook and to wash dishes, to darn stockings and to sow on patches. Any boy who has learned thoso accomplishments can go out into tho world and bo tar more in dependent than thoso who prldo them selves on being skilled only in manly pursuits. True manliness consists in being holpful in ovory way, every where and to ovoryb'ody. Ladies' Floral Cabinet. BgMmisMMi,iu,,nuij,u'j.jijiij ' ' - J ' ' ".r-Jl FKKSONAL AM) LITERARY. Lady Floronco Dixie, distinguished as a fearless and accomplished horse woman, is going to tho Transvaal as war correspondent for tho London Morning l'od. Prof, Richard A. nont astronomer and Proctor, tho emi- lecturer, it is ro- ported from St. Joseph, Mo., is about towed a lady of that city, a widow, and will henceforth reside in this coun try. Will S. Hayes has written and com posed about three hundred and sixty songs, and tlioro arc ton of thom that had a sale of tivo hundred thousand each. Mr. Hays is on the editorial stall' of tho Louisville (Ky.) Courier Journal. Mr. Longfellow, tho other day, sent this littlo verso to tho Columbus (O.) school-children, who celebrated his birlluiuy: If imy ilmiutht of initio, o'crtrimiir or told, litis over Kl von delight or e"iialiitinn. Yoltavo repitld tno Iihok u thnu4iuul.fnlii lly every friendly sljm nnd miliitnilon. With compliments and good wishes of II. W. LONUFKf.I.OW. Mrs. Judith Twombly recently cele brated hor 102d birthday at tho resi dence of her son-in-law, Mr. James Stackpole, a prominent citizen of Chelmsford, Mass. Her great-great-great-grandson, aged live years, was ono of tho guests. She still has possession of hor mental faculties and is con spicuous for her devotional employ ments. Miss Flora Torroy Wagstnfl", step daughter of Judge W. R. Wagstall'of Paola, Kansas, has been admitted to tho bar and sworn to faithfully discharge the duties of an utlornoy-nC-law. Miss Wagstafl' is a handsomo blondo, very ladyliko and re lined in manner, a bright scholar, and highly accomplished in music and painting. "She has road law about two years, and attended tho St. Louis Law School for ono yoar. Mr. MacGahan, tho well-known newspaper correspondent, who wroto so vividly of tho Turco-Russian war, left a wife and child. Ho was married about a year before his death to an ac complished Russian lady of rank in her country. Tho widow and child visited tho mother and brothers-in-law at To ledo, O., last year. She is described as a handsomo brunette, highly educated and accomplished, though linding tho ways of this country very now and strange. Joan Louis Ernest Moissonier can make a picture that will sell for moro than tho work of any other living art ist. A recent niimbor of tho Magazine of Art gives a biographical sketch of this picturesque artist. Ho is now sixty-eight years old. Moissonier paints i horse about as perfectly as it is possiblo to do. Ho seems to spare no pains in getting every detail of his subject. For instance, ho once had a small railway built, and bo was whirled iu a car that kopt alongside a galloping horso so Mint iio could sketch every" movement of tho charger. humorous. It was a wealthy Philadclphian who, being asked on his return from Europe, how ho liked the Hosphorus, replied that ho didn't eat any, and preferred tho ordinary homo-made sausages. American Queen. A short timo ago a clover article appeared in tho Nineteenth Century from tho pon of Mr. Mallock, entitled, "Is Lifo Worth Living?" Tho answer to the conundrum Is: " It depends on tho liver." St. Louis Post-Dispatch. In tho yoar 18S0 Amorica issued soventy patents to women. And not ono of these was an indicator to bo at tached to a bod post to show if tlioro is a man under tho bed. And yet, think how much getting down on hands and knees such a thing would save women. Boston Post. Tlioro has been a good doal of bit tor controversy in Now York over Sarah Hernluirdt's exact weight, and ono of those who believes hor to bo Uio cham pion dramatic light-woight of tho ago assorts that not long ago at rehearsal Sarah introduced tho feature of iirin- a pistol atj,no villain ot tlio pioco. Instead of tho usual result, tho wad re mained perfectly stationary while tho Hernliardt and tho pistol woro blown backwards through tho side scenes. San Francisco Post. Wo havo just learned that on tho afternoon before the last holiday Col onel Solon noticed a sign on the door of an Oil City bank, saying: "Hunk will bo closed to-morrow; all paper failing duo then must bo paid to-day." Tho Colonel rushed wildly into tho bank, saying: "Do you moan to sav that I 1 must pay my noto to-day, which falls due to-morrow?" "Certainly, sir." "Hut I havon't a cent of monov to-day and and and woll now, 1 "think of it, I havon't any noto to pay either." And tho good Colonel walked away with a sigh of relief. Derrick. A Safeguard for Rrakemen. The Richmond & Danvillo Railroad Company is introducing on their freight trains a safeguard for thoir brakomon. it is woll known that many fatal acci dents which occur to brakomon aro those in which tho brakomon standing on tho top of freight cars aro knocked in tho head by covered bridges. Tho safeguard consists of a post orcctod about half a mile on either side of a covmod bridge To this post a hori zontal pieco is attached stretching across the track, of course above the roach of any head on top of .si car. From tiiis horizontal pioco cords aro swung, so that in case tho brakeman is inat tentively standing upright whilo Hear ing t'iio bridge, the cords willstriko him. and remind him to duck his head, i . .