-wRtan a W.Fuaas
H '
ifi
I
THE ADYEKTISEB
U. W. TAZStUrZSSJL.
T.CKitXSI.
FAlRBIiOTOEH & SLICKER,
a
Publisher cad Proprietors.
Published Every Thursday Morning
at browtvtixe, jtebrasea.
TER5I-- IX ABVAXCE:
oa copy, om year.
One cepy. al cionttn
8ne e9T. three moatiis -
IS" S papcrsent feast taeoScesatnpaJd ret.
READCfGttATTEE'OXrrrEEYPAGE t
ojxiciai. dzrsctok-.
"DUrrict OSeers.
s. B-'Pfwrxn
J r WATW - -
niLUM H. HOOVER .
Jnlee.
.BWtrict Attorney
TH3trictCleri.
Cotxntv Officers.
r ConTityJndse
jnTTTS
eayi. err "--xsos-
aert a.n! Tt-csnler
, PhriS
CermMt
J ' KT;snC"VER.
C PVR TEW
fi-"- X. cVK-
TWV t- CJI'VWC-
FR IfX E.EDFKRX
Sarrerr
' . ,p I.Ht
Ci-tr O Seers.
.Vivnr
Palm Trt?-
.Clert '
a. rnirar.
TrLinrr
3arshal
o. SC-SK
lst"Wanl
Sid Ward
A K .-,Tr.MW"
" T'fTK.T?
JrdWanI
E-HT",rK-
3USINZSS CAJtBS.
J.
H. BROADS.
Attorni-r nd Cnnmeinr i t.-v,
ace sTrmti Ba2.SrwTiviii ----
D JL O'BORN.
-. .vrTOR'TETlTHW.
o-aen. Ne. M Jtm -Hrset, Urawsirfle. eb
A.T) VT,
. ,rx. Ob-.tetrtcIan.
l Plxyalrlan,
OSt ' X-vnet.rtvsvtMe. ??&.
T . STTTLL.
0 ATTORSKf AT l.A"W.
OSee f Ctr idse. BrawHVjSe. yebrasfea.
T.
S C H I r K .
ATTOK.NSV ATLAW.
Oace oversCOace.rwaJVleS'ibrasfci.
TV
T. BOGEIe,
Attorney m.rnl Counselor t Ii.tv.
eari-rt'th care, oakctapwlte Past OSes.
BrawTi tBe. ?Teb.
J L. ROT,
U1DSRTAK2R,
Cofw siade srt nr. Ttere nias west f
ririt Hde to
J . GIBSON',
BllAC-TCSIITn ASD ITOn.SE SHOER
"5rrfc rte- attfecn carateed
rj,t,t team,, Slats aad AUaatic. Srewu
vi .- "
AT CLINE
rfli
FASniON'IRt.'E
f-i BOOT AND SHOE 3IAKER
rxSTOX WSK made order. aal fia al-sray
roaranted Retitrmc watJv aod pnmptly doar
Shop JT.S'Miatreet.BrwnTiile.Xeb.
TPOB
MAROHN,
MERCHANT TAILOR,
mad alrf
FiaeEarlhli.Fica-,cat!i i Fancy Clth
Testtari. Etc. Etc.
UrovavIHe. .Vbraska.
B.
If- BAILEY.
SHIPr J2t A5B BEAI.EE IX
LrvTE STOCK.
SSOVVILLK. NEBRASKA.
Farmers, pteoreeatl a&d get prices; I want
to hanJU; yoeir stocfe.
OlSce First SlatJowiJ Bnn&.
2STA3LISH2D IH 1S5S.
O H. X E S T
EEAL
ESTATE
AGENCY
x:v 3t:braska.
"WilHani S. Hoover.
Does a seaeraIRwi Estate Bslaess. Sells
LABds am OeHaBUhlae. eramtees Tes,
nsntK TVeds. MortEaas. aad att lastra
menu prtHtato:; ta the transfer af Real Es
tate. Has a
Complete Abstract of Titles
ta.aU Real Estate hi Nraafaa. Cocaty.
AT HATCHETrS,
Everybody Knows the Place,
ICS-CRSAM
is a gpecbUty. Customers are aceostsaedat
ed ia- or nlsh- to the choicest
ICB - GSSA2L
And the calls m SCNDA.YS have feeen so
nomeroos tfaat pentiemen and ladies are ac
commodated to
ICS - C3.SA3S
m that daytaC any hoar, aad are received la
to neat, parlors and treated cordially. Teen
folts froca. tlae cocntrr art invited to Hatch
et's to pet their
ICS - CSSASS,
lmaao. and C H2feeUoi. Always ge
wnere yoe can get fee best
ICS-CRSAM,
aadtvbereyogrsarrsnndlngaarenioatpleaii-
ant.
R.C.BERGER,
FASHIONABLE
3LE
Shoe
Boot and
i-j" .. itj. : - -
-jt a -cr--:
e warASt-tjr Havirg v aat the cas
. JvFS f-mshop of A. Rootson,
i aa prepnrea to a worit
of all kinds at
Reasonable Hates.
.a-Eepalrinz- neatly and
promptlydone.
Shop No, 62 ilaia Street,
JSroirnrUle Nebraska.
B. G. WHITTEHGnE
DEALER IN
GHOCXZRXZS,
2PH.OVISXOXS,
SEWING MACHTNSS
SSWI5G JtACHrXE EPAIBS A SPBCIALTT,
xiilpay the taigaest market price for scrap
iron and rags, ilain a. West Brownvllle.
TETTER HEADS,
M BILL HEAD;
Neatly printed attilsa2.ee.
' ' - ' jnnaK - jH? .. 11 Tri-iiT;i mi a a a i
S2 00 V 7 V V
1 00 V ,, ii
50
SSTA3IJSH3EZD 1S5S
J
Oldest Paper In tie State
vHruniura; ev
L 5x V KyJy
&BW
ziszim
i Y.mTHiXSEIGhTINeOLD.
Tlie Doctor's
Testimony.
. " V . -- .w. 'i: v-'. - A.od.
A-S.Eassef of Marion,
CJ . .w a jt "V "T jm . .
widw amwa " i i.awonienai success or Tuoaias' Bdectnc Ou in
I all cas? of KateiaJ chronic innammaUoa. ca-
.Commissioners i tajxb broncli is, lame bacfc. eta. aake the de
i Euid for it verv jrreat.
The Drugisl's Testimony.
Cotrscara. 0 Fkb, sxh. 13S.
J4"rj. t oter. JLUDura & co.
Reeardin-the saj OfThoiiiaa' Eciectric OU we j
an- sraUrid in b.H aMe to inform yoa chat since
we took the asency three months ao fer the sale
and otreinclion f Eciectrk- OU. ar verv larze
sales proves cofidvely to our mind; thio re-n-iy
baa ext-aordhiary merits an witnessed by
the acprecfdentgd sate. Weaaticipatg a iarstB
crease is the sale, as its virtues became more gener
ally ItBown.
TOors trafy.
Dealers In Dross and fcarxical Instr&ments
Sold by X. W. Tlekell, Drssrist, ru-irHTnie.
GotoincSteirstorXrs 'Freema.a's JTeir SatJan
alDyes. Fir brtffhtnes? and dnrabirty of ester
tfeeyare neeqoa.'ei. Colore to olbw., price 15 cents
GreOa f TiLWi'lgllt,
Practical Watchmaker,
la UNION" HOTEL, west of Court Hoos.
HAS
NOW A COMPLETE SEW STOCK.
OF
WALTHAM,
ELGIN,
SPRINGFIELD,
Movements.
KEY AND STEM-WIND
Sil-rer Caref.
Hunting & Open Face Boss Pat.
qold WatcL. Cases.
Stem-Wind Pat- Dust-Proof Caos.
Seth. Thomas
Sc American
Walnut - Casea
Spectacles & Eye-Glasses,
A Full Line of JeTvelry
Consisting of everythinc; that goes to make
sp a 3rst cfcs5 assortment.
Rcpairin?FiHe Watches a Speeialtj
5yWerk dene promptly and every care
s--' txr'roa t triors sn.? Ifimr Ufa .
90j Main St. BrownTille., Xeb.
i. a. sain. josepn aoay. i
BATH B0DY
proprietors
CITY BEIT
are new preparedto accommodate
tee public with
Good, Sweat, Fresh
MEAT.
Highest market price paid far
Beef Hides
TAXjIliO"V
Eisst dor east eP.O. BrownviHe.
m
VCTHOKIZED BT THE D. S. 60VER3aOT.
O F-
BSOWi 1UILJEL
Paid-wp Capital,
$50,000
500,000
AutliorLzed
it
IS PREP ABED TO TRANSACT A
General Basking Business
BCT AST SELL
OOEf & GUEKENCY BEAPTS
oivailttieBriacipal cities of the
United States and Sttrope
TvrONEY HOASTED
trapproTriecantyoniv. i une units cisccraat
ezaxcxBGAaAmazruptaeposi -
is. uoicam uu viKj.ntA i busus.
(STATE, CODNTY S. CITY SECURITIES
Dsposrrs
Rec-lvpd parable an demand. nd ESTERESTal-le-redoa
Sine certificates of deposit.
DrRECTOHS. Wa. T.Ben. B. 3r. "Baney, K.A
Haadley. Franfc E Jehnsen. Itier Hoadlev
Ws.Fralsher.
40HX L. CARSON,
i-EwDA.vrsON-.Cxahicr. .,. President,
r. C3rerrAI7GTrT03-. AaatCaahi-r.
IFoi? Sale.
OX"E BALF IXTEREST TS THE
SHEEID1N HILLS.
! For particuLirs call on or address.
GEO. H0MEW00D, Sheridan. Xeb.
istr.
r WPWt -m
IBKET.i
First National Bank
n ibu , hi h a . m b-i h - naj a m. m !;, . a , .
i sr r i hb i n y bo kb i ; ; y f b ; 1 1 h : .b-v v - r t n t a .x , i i lnr h tn x i l. i v a
'f'r1Arwwvw -www.rr ,.,
Mrs. McWilliams and tie
lightning.
Atlantic Montblj- for September.
Well, irT continnetlMr. iIcWilliamsT
for this vi-js not the beginning of Ms
talk, the fear or lightning is one of the
most distressing infirmities a human
being can be afflicted with. It is most
Iv confined to -women; bat now and
then you find it in. a little dog, and
sometimes in a man. It is- a particu
larly distressing infirmity, for the rea
son that it takes the sand out of a per- j
son to an extent which no other fear
Can, lUld It Can't be TtOitoned With, and
neither can it be shamed out of a per
son. A. woman who could face the
very devil himself or a mouse loses
hergrip and goes all to pie as in front
of a flash of lightning. Her fright is
something pitiful to see.
Well, as I was telling you, I woke
ud. with that smothered and unbeat
able cry of Mortimer! iIortimerr
wailing in my ears; and as soon as I
:oeld scrape my fjiculties together I
reached over in the dark and then said:
"Evangeline, is that yoa ealling?
f What is the matter? Where are you'r"
"Shut up in the boot-closet. Yon
ought to be asliamed to lie there and
sleep so, and such an awful storm go
ing on."
"Whyjiowcan one be ashamed when
he is asleep? It is unreasonable: a
I man can't be ashamed when he is
j asleep, Evangeline."
You never try. Mortimer you
know very well you never try.
I caught the sound of muffled sobs.
That sound smote dead the sharp
speech that was on my lips, and I
changed it to
Tm sorry, dear Tni truly sorry. I
never meant to act so. Come back
and"
"ilOKTDrEEr
"Heavens! what is the matter, mv
love?"
"Do von mean to sav vou are in that
bed yet r
"Why, of course."
"Come out of it instantly. I should
think you would take some little aire
of your life, for my sake and the chil
dren's, if you will not for your own."
"But my love "
"Don't talk to me, Mortimer. You
knou; there is no place so dangerous as
a bed, insucha thunder storm asthiy
all the books say that; yet there you
would lie, and deliberately throw away
your life for goodness knows what,
unless for the sake of arguing and ar
guing, and "
"But, confound it, Evangeline, I'm
no in the bed now. I'm "
Sentence interrupted by a sndden
glare of lightning, followed by a terri
fied little scream from. Mrs. McWill
iams and a tremendous blast of thun
der. "There! You see the result. Oh,
Mortimer, how can you be so profligate
as to swear at such a time as this?"
"I didn't swear. And that wasn't a
result of it, anyway. It would have
come, just the same, if I hadn't said a
word; and you know very well, Evan-
geline at least you ought to know
that when the atmosphere is charged
with electricity "
j "Oh, yes, now argue it, and argue it,
and argue it! I don't see how you can
i act so,"when you know there is not a
lightning-rod on the place, and your
poor wife and children are absolutely
at the mercy of Providence. What are
you doing? lighting a match at such
a time as this! Are you stark mad?"
"Hang it, woman, Where's the harm?
The place is as dark as the inside of an
inridel. and "
"Put it out! put it out instantly!
Are you determined to sacrifice us all?
You knnvc there is nothing attracts
lightning like a light IFzt (rra-sh:
I boom hiloom-hoom-boom I Oh, just
hear it! 2ow you see what you've
doner
"Xo, I don't see what Tve done. A
match mav attract lishtning. for all I
know, but it dotft anise lightning 111
go odds on that. .Ajid it didn't attract
it worth a cent this time; for if that
shot was leveled at my match, it was
blessed poor markmanship about an
average of none out of a possible mil
lion, I should say. Why, at Dolly-
mount, such markmanship as that l
"For shame, Mortimer! Here we are
standing right in the very presen-e of
death, and vet in so solemn a moment
j you are capable of using such language
j as that. If you have no desire to
Mortimer P
"Welir
"Did you say yourprayers to-night?"
"I I meant to, but I got to trying
to cipher out how much twelve times
thirteen is, and-"
Fzt! boom-berroom-booml bttmble
umbie an$r-sjtASHri
"Oh, we are lost, beyond all help!
How emild you nejilect such, a thing at
such a time as this ?"
"But it wasn't 'such a thing as this.
There wasn't a cloud in the sky. How
could i" know there was goinjr to be all
this rumpus and pow-wow, about a lit
tle slip like that? And I don't think
it's just fair for you to make so much
out of it, any way. seeing it happens so
seldom; I haven't missed before since
I brought on that earthquake iour
years ago."
"MoKrorER.! How vou talk! Have
! you forgotten the yellow fever?"
"My dear, you are always throwing
up the yellow fever to me, and I think
it is perfectly unreasonable. You can't
even send a telegraph missage as far
as Memphis without relays, so how is
a little devotional slip of mine goingto
carry so far? Ill stand the earth
quake, becuHse it was in the neighbor
-C-a x.... -nu l t,.,3 r t. :
i hood; but Fll be hanged if I m going
i m i ttiitiiiiua titt pwrr nitniiai
Fzt .' booh 6eroom-boom! boom!
BAXGI
"Oh, dear, dear! I Jcnotc it struck
something. Mortimer. We never shall
see the light of another day; and if it
will do you any good to remember.
when we are gone, that your dreadful
language Jfortimer ."
"Well! What now?"
"Your voice sounds as if. Morti
mer, are you actsally standing in front
of that pen fire-pla":e?"
"That is the very crime I am com
mitting."
"Get" awav
irom It tniS moment.
. .i
xou ao seem aetermmeu. to Dnng de-
struetion onus au. Don't you know
that there is no better conductor for
lightning than an open chimney? 3b w
where have you got to?"
Tm here by the window."
"Oh, f orpity's sake, have you lostyour
mincu utear out rrom tnere this mo-
ment The very children inarms know
it is fatal to stand near a Tfmcw in a
ZH . r- 'T,HHVtnn(HMnOTBR9ltirA
BEOWISTYILLE, IsTEBEASKA,
thunder-storm. Dear, dear, I know I
shall never see the light of another
day. Mortimer?"
"XesT
"What is that rustling?"
"It's me."
"What are you doing?'
"Trying to find the upper end of mj
pantaloons."
"Quick! throw those things away! X
do believe you would deliberately put
on those clothes at such a time as this ;
yet you know perfectly well that all
authorities agree that woolen stuff at
tracts lightning. Oh, dear, dear, it
isn't sufficientthat one's life must be in
peril from, natural causes, but you
must do everything you can possibly
think of to augment the danger. Oh.
don't sing ! What can you be thinking
of?"
"Xow where's the harm in It?"
"Mortimer, if I have told you once,
I have told you a hundred times, that
singing causes vibrations in the atmos
phere which interrupt the flow of the
electric fluid, and what on earth are
you opening that door for?"
"Goodness gracious, woman, is there
any harm, in thatf
Harm There's deat h in it. Any
body that has given this subject any at
tention knows that to create a draught
is to invite the lightning. You haven't
half shut it; shut it tUjht and do hur
ry, or we :ire all destroyed. Oh, it is
an awful thing to be shut up with a
lunatic at such a time as this. Morti
mer, what are you doing?"
"Nothing. Just turning on the wa
ter. This room is smothering hot and
close. I want to bathe my face and
hands."
"You, have certainly parted with the
remnant of your mind? Where light
ning strikes any other substanee once,
it strikes water fifty times. Do turn it
off. Ob, dear. I am sure that nothing
in this workl can save us. It does
seem to me that . Mortimer, what
was that?"
"It was a da it was a picture.
Ehoeked it down."
"Then you are close to the walL I
never heard of such imprudence. Don't
you know that there is no better con
ductor for ligntning than a wall?
Come away from there! Ajid you came
as near as anything to swearing, too.
Oh, how can you be so desperately
wicked, and your family in such a per
il? Mortimer, did you order a feather
bed, as I asked you "to do?"
Xo. Forgot it"
"Forgot it! It may eost you your
lif e." If you had a feather bed, now,
and could spread it in the middle of the
room and lie on it, you. would be per
fectly safe. Come in here come
quick, before you have a ehance to
commit any more frantic indiscre
tions." I tried, but the little closet wouldnot
hold us both with the doorshut. unless
we could be content to smother. I gasp
ed awhile, and then forced my way out
My wife called out
"Mortimer, something must be done
for your preservation. Give me that
German book that is on the end of the,
mantle-piece, and a candle; but don't
light it; give me a match; I will light
it in here! That book has some direc
tions in it."
I got the book at cost of a vase and
some other brittle things; and the mad
am shut herself up with her candle. I
had a moment' peace; then she called
out
"Mortimer, what was that?"
"Nothing but the cat."
"The cat! Oh, destruction! Catch
her and shut her up in the wash-stand.
Do be quick, love; cits me full of elec
tricity. I just know my hair will turn
white with this night's awful perils."
I heard the muffled sobbings again.
But for that, I should not have moved
hand or foot in such a wild enterprise
in the dark.
However, I went at my task over
chairs, and against all sorts of obstruc
tions, all of them hard ones, too, and
most of them with sharp edges and at
hist I got kitty cooped up in the com
mode at an expense of over four hun
dred dolhirs in broken furniture and
shins. Then these muffled words came
from the closet
"It says the safest thing is to stand
on a cuair in tne middle ot tne room.
Mortimer; and the legs of the chair
must be insulated, with non-conductors.
That is, you must set the legs of the
chair in glass tumblers. Fzt' boom
ianff smash r Oh, hear that! Do
hurry, Mortimer, before you are
struck."
I managed to find and secure the
tumblers. I got the last four broke
all the rest. I insulated the chair legs
and called for futher instructions.
"Mortimer," it says, 'Wahrend eines
Gewiteers entfeme manMetidle, wiez.
B., Singe, Uhren, Schlussel, etc von
sich und halte sich auchnichtan soleh
en Stellen auf, wo viele, Metalle be
einander liegen, odar mit andern Korp
ern verbunden sind. wie an Herden.
Oefen, Eisengittern u. dgL' What does
that mean, Mortimer? Does it mean
that yon must keep metals about you,
or keep them away from you?"
rvi- tt w rr -' r -w -i-if '
"Well. I hardly know. It appears to
be a little mixed. All German advice
is more or less mixed. However, I
think that the sentence is mostly in the
dative case, with a little genative and
accusative sifted in. here and there, for
luck; so I reckon it means that you
must keep some mefcds about you.""
"Yes. that mast be it It stands to
reason that it is. They are in the na
ture of lightning-rods, you know. Put
on your fiereraan's helmet, Mortimer;
that is mostly metaL"
I got it and put it on a very heavy
and clumsy and uncomfortable thing
on a hot night in a close room. Even
my night-dress seemed to be more
clothing than I strictly needed.
"Mortimer, I think your middle
ought to be .protected. Won't you
buckle on your military saber, please?"
I complied.
"Xow, Mortimer, you ought to have
some way to protect your feet Do
please put on your spurs."
I did it in silence and kept my
temper as well as reould.
"Mortimer, it says, Das Gewitter
lauten 1st sehr gefahrlicrt, weE die
Glocke selbst sowie derdurehdas Lau
ten veronlasste Luftzug und die Hohe
u" .""'"" "".'"" ""ueikii JVUU" -
- -. t t a wi im - if i- -- ...-- i .
j"" Vrr - " V
TPTl MrrmmpT- rtnA f frrrr mira -Mi.,- ?-
u-iib "". " me cnurcn
. rifl.TlJT rtT -- Ht -Tr4 n ra --, fS'
bells during a thunder storra
fVmr Tf- coamcr rt mi.,, t-Ui- Itf 1 I.
T J-I-rT -J M.i. . . '
-r. rP" lL mean:3 lQau on amjunt ot
m&x oi tne- cnurcn tower and the
absen-
oi dAffizugx wouia De very
dangerous (sehr gefahTlich) not to ring
' tne bells in time of a storm j and mco
is l'ZlZZZS.'te Mspered triumphantly.
case singular, and I reckon it is. Yes.
'
THURSDAY, SEP fEMBER 9, 1880.
over, donE you. see, the very word
ing" "Xever mind that, Mortimer; don't
waste the precious time in talk. Get
the large dinner-bell; it is right there
in the haTT. Quick, Mortimer dear; we
are almost safe. Oh, dear, I do believe
we are going to be saved, at last!"
Our little summer establishment
stands on top of a high range of hills,
overlooking a valley. Several fann-
Lhouses are in our neisbborhood the
nearest some three or four hundred
vards away.
When L, mounted on the chair, had
been clanging- that dreadful bell a mat-
'" " -' -" " ci"u """-, ". "ui. ,
ters were suddenly torn open from .
open
without, and a brilliant bull's-eye lan
tern "was thrust in at the window, fol-
lowed by a hoarse inquiry:
"What in the nation is the matter
here?"
The window was full of men's heads,
and the heads were full of eyes that
stared wildly at my night-dress and my
warlike accoutrements.
I dropped the bell, skipped down
from the ehafrin confusion, and said
"There is nothingthe matter, friends,
only a little discomfort on account
of the thunder storm. I was trying to
keep off thefiightning."
"Thunderstorm? Lightning? Why,
Mr. McWilliams. have you hist your
mind? It is a beautiful starlight
night; there has been no storm."
I looked out, and I was so astonish
ed I could hardly speak for a while.
Then I said
"I do not understand this. We dis
tinctly saw the glow of the flash
through the curtains and shutters, and
heard the thunder."
One after another of those people lay
down on the ground to laugh and two
of them died. One of the survivors re
marked "Pity you didn't think to open your
blinds and look over to the top of the i
high hill yonder. What you heard was
a cannon; what you saw was the flash.
You see, the telegraph brought some
news, just at midnight: Garfield's
nominated and that's what's the mat
ter." "Yes. Mr. Twain, as I said in the be
ginning, (said Mr. McWDIiams), the
rules for preserving people against
lightning are so excellent and so innu
merable that the most incomprehensi
ble thing in the world to me is how
anybody ever manages to get struek."
So saying, he gathered up his satchel
and umbrella, and departed; for the
train had reached his town.
Mauk Twain.
Oyster BUI.
Lonlsville Commercial.
Drunken men often do very cote
things. For instance, yesterday after
noon a couple of farmers were driving
in a wagon along the Bardstown pike
about-six miles out from thecisy. They
came up even with a rough-looking and
very badly intoxicated fellow, who
hallooed for them to stop.
"Stranger," he said to the driver
" hie I'm Oyster Bill and Fmgettin'
kinder sorry for my sins hie I guess
hie you'd better put me in your
wagging hie and take me ter jail.
Come oa, now, there's hie a reward
for me." The farmers knew all about
Oyster Bill by reading the newspapers,
and here was a picnic for them. They
boosted the penitent sot into the wag
on and drove rapidly to the jaiL On
the way they furnished him with cigars
and tobacco, kept the mosquitoes off
his head and treated him to something
fine in the way of "pisen."
"Xow vou're sure vou're Oyster
Bill?" asked the slicker of the two
farmers, as they drove triumphantly
up to the jaiL
"Oh, yes; yer can bet yer boots on
that You get the reward," responded
the Oyster, as he cast an envious
glance at a neighboring saloon.
"Who have we here?" asked Mr.
Rubel, as the two farmers ambled into i
the jail, supporting their drunken
friend on each side. "Xot a word,
said the slick farmer. "We've got
Oyster BilL"
""Oyster fiddlesticks r was the only
reply. "nv. thats nobody out a
drunken shoemaker who left his home ;
yesterday to hunt work in the country."
"Yes. and I rid ter town all the
same, sain the sot with a eute gnn. .
"I kinder guess I'm on ter a thing orj
two
That was all there was of it. The
drunken shoemaker had simply got
tired of walking. He wanted to get
back to the city, and the ruse he adopt
ed is, to say the least of it very credit
able to a drunken man.
She gbreTOtea GareM.
Mrs.E.B. Grannis, the editor and
publisher of the Clmrch ZFnioH in New
York City, says that she originally
Ttnminated fJnprnT fJarfield for Presi -
! aent, the nomination havingbeen made
i . ...
as long ago as tne winter oi itoi-02. sitting by the fireside has a vote.
At that date Garfield preaehed a ser ' Cheers. " These are a few of the rea
mon before the pupils of Lake Erie sons whv I like this coontrv. I like it
beminary, at Painsville. Ohio. "I ean-
not tell you." Mrs. Grannis says, "how
his address stirred up us girls or what
an expression it made. It caused such
an excitement that we immediately'
held an informal meeting in the vesti
bule and nominated him for President '
All the ghis who .were disciples, and a
great many others, responded with en
thusiasm when we took a vote, and '
I remember standing on the stairs and I
addressing the girls, and asking them I
to promise to go with me to Washing
ton when he was inaugurated. They
pledged themselves, and we made a
sort of league with that intention. I
have issued a call to those girls, wher
ever they are. to assemble in this, city
and go to Washington together, so as
to be on the step of the east front of
the capitol on March 4."
A young woman lost her husband,
whom. sue seemed to adore. .Nevertbe-
less it was remarked that her lids were
scarcely damp at the f uneraL At the
end of some months the young widow
went to the theatre and witnessed a
:,?rTTTifi.fnTt nfsnrrmrfnlmwivilK ?hA
. soaked four handkerchiefs and sobbed
- --'-. F T
, v?rrilj-. nn , nm nfn0rnCfM,w
. i "And yet they said I had no heart,'
I 'A -. VWU KJKJ-JJM. . -WA . - . r -
, The workingmen don't
hurrah tor.
English. Thev don'fc mm: him to come
around. ThfivsnvTmm ?melf a mrr-
ga on a rKjor man s house and lot a
- 'inile away.- ostornrreZfer.
IffGESSQIiL.
The following is an extract from In
gersoU's speechat Gloucester, Mass.:
Ladies and Gentlemen: Everything-in
this world that is good fer any
thing has to be defended. Everything
that is good has. to be taken care of.
Evervthing that is bad will take eare , aMB fcBtt fS - fsN,flWr m,st "? iur -uauuma, ii
of itself. I Applause.1 There is the ! PJ? e beciuse I would not know it meats- the address of the committee by
same difference between virtue and
vice, between truth and falsehood, as
there is between tares and wheat We
have to plow the land, we have to sow
I Hia Wf? .iTid tsrihrYP icifrt tn-Piir Vifert-
and infinite patience, to guard the erep
acainst anvtnmg tnac mignt injure:
vhna tvofa nn.i Hno- fioi cw,. kr
chance and cared for by aecident, will
grow on the common highway. And
exactly so it is with everything of any
account in the world. The battle is
never over; the battle for the right is
never won; fight as long as you may,
and the argument will not be finished.
After four years of war in the United
States, the questions that we endeavor
ed to settle by the sword are as open.
as unsettled as they were in 1859.
These questions must be settled, not
only by the bayonet but by argument
There is no argument in war, no rea
son, no logic, in the sword. All that
war settles is who is the stronger of
the contestants. ''War makes them stop
and listen. War gives the successful
party the floor in order to present ais
:irgument, and the result is to be ar
gued, not fought out. So to-day we are
arguing on this side, in the defease of
which millions of men risked their
lives, and the question is just as open
and unsettled to-night as it was then.
We have a country which is, in my
opinion, the best country in this world.
I hold all forms of government is sub
lime contempt except the republican
fnrra nf irnvcnimpnt' T A rinl:insr T
nttprlv tfpfpsr pvprv svsfpm of oTvem!
ma- K,ir nj- Awnliod nn th imi-
Iv-expressed will of a majority of the
: people. Applause. I look upon
; Kings, and princes, and noblemen as
men in the livery of larceny, wearing
the insignia of robbery. I am proud
i I am an American, and that I Hve in a
civihzed country. When I speak of a
free eountry I confine myself to the
Xorthern and Western States of this
great republic Applause. This is,
in mv opinion, the best jrovernment in
the world, simply because it gives the
best chances to everv human being. It
is the best eountry simply because
there is more liberty here than there is
anvwhere else; simply beeaoee life,
I liberty, and property are better secured
in the .N orthera and v estern Mates of
this Union than in any other portion
of the habitable globe. I love this
i country because it gives to the lowest
equal opportunity with the greatest.
The avenues of distinction are open to
alL We have done remarkably well,
considering what we have had to do
nnth Wf hftvp taken the failnrns of
rvflifir rrwrnf rix - wp tAVP fclken th f
men who could not succeed in Eng
land; we have taken the men who have
been robbed and trampled upon; we
have taken them into this country, and
the second generation are superior to
the nobility of tlie eountry from which
their fathers emigrated. Cheers We
have taken the Irishman, robbed; we
VbU.W.1. -. - - .- "- - .
have taken the foreigner from the
..imciuin -,1 k,.tt t-iTmd thai-,-,
.-iAAJr-VM Z-m C-n ,- V. MV.-t- k-V.A- ,-,-T f
into robes: we have transformed their
hovels and huts into palaces; out of
the paupers we have made patriotic
splendid men. That is what we have
done in this country. We have given
to everybody in the Union, in the
States to which I have referred, equal
opportunities to get a home, equal op
portunities to attain distinction. That
is the reason I like this eountry. I like
i-bis eountry because the honest and in
dustrious man is a nobleman. I like it
because a man, no matter how poor be
may be, whether a merchant or clerk,
ean go home at night take his tow
headed boy on his knee and say to him:
"John, the public schools and every av-
! enue of distinction are opened to vou.
Your father may be ignorant; he may
not be good at figures; but you may
rise to the highest office within the
gift of the civilized world. Applause
and eheers.l We don't know how good
this eountry is. Do you know that we
have more to eat here than any other
nation of the globe? And that is quite
nnitem. Laughter. We have better
clothes, and they come nearer fitting
us. Applause. There is more gen
eral information among our peopjte. and
it is better distributed, than ia any
other eountry. But really the greatest
f thing about our countrv is that there
is no other countrv where women and
children are treated as well as they are
in the United States. rCbeers.l Let
me tell vou why: In other countries
the f araiiv is natterned after the form
of government In countries where
there is a monarch, the head of the i
fumilv is monarch r in countries
where there is a despot at the head of
j the government, the head of the family
i k a iIkhot TT&r in rhi wintnr nar
families are repubiieaa- Everv "man
j because
pJause.l
it gave- me a chance. Ap-
I like it because a manin the
lowest walks of life ean have a ehaace.
I like it because a boy who has worked
on a eanal, a boy who has driven a
mule on the towpath, a boy who has
eut wood at 25 cents a eord I like it
because such a boy is going to be the
next President of the United States.
Applause. What a magnificent com
pliment they pay to our system of gov
ernment; what a splendid eoraptimeBt
they pay to the good heart of our peo
ple, by making prominent in this can
vass the fact that the boy was poor,
that the boy was compelled to work.
What in other countries would be a
mark of disgrace, in this country is
transfigured into the wings of honor
and of fame. Applause. Now, as I
have said, this is a good eountry, bat
there are perils against which we must
caref ullv guard.
As I told vou in the
first pfeu-e. you have got to fight fer ev-
erythine that is good, and the work is
i never done. There are always some
; who fall in the rear. Li the clearest
i water there will be settlings; tituT just
so it is in polities.
Thera m rarin mnl: tlMJ- it01im
- - - . .. r. .- .--..
this government; and let us be honest
about it I teU you to-night that I .
have no favors to ask of any political '
parties in this world. The first periL
in my judgment is the doctrine of
I State rifrhfe- It is annealed to now in
nrtlpr thnt ifcf Southern Srarp: imiv 1p-
nv to the biaek people their rights. Bv
tilis yon wiR see tfuu: the doctrine of
iState rights has never been appealed to i
VOL. 25. X0. 12.
I in the history of this countrv exeept
whea somebody "Wanted to steal some- trated. The Repabhean State Corn
thing from, somebodv eke. Applause.! ; mittee, in their address to t5 country,.
. I detest the doctrine. I abhor it in ev-
ery drop of my Wood. This is not a
; confederacy ; this is a nation. I have
ahusetts that I nave in Illinois, not be-j
n -c-rTTa .in.?"-- """ - " " utv-i vuv. .
rau nAAiTn - ' "- ir .vr a iujii EkLi. r iia
right is gwusinteed me by the Sag ef
the republic Cheers.
GAEFIELB'S SRAV2EX.
An Ibwa Soldiers TestEamy.
From the iTonroe Ollch.) SenUneL
The following is from George Q
Gftrdaer, Captain of tfee Fifth Wisaoa-
! sia Battery, f Reseerans Army of the
Cumberland:
Decobah, Iowa. Jnae ISth 1SS0.
Dear Charley : Yor postal-curd of
the 14th ia&c. asking ae to refresh
your mind ad to the dates, fuels, etc,
of an incident which occurred during
the war of 1S81, and m which Gen.
Garfield was an actor, and I a specta
tor, was duly received, and I herewith
attempt to comply with your request:
After the sreat and sanguinary bat
tle of Chickanjauga (I think ia the las-
ter part of October, Ictei). I was bound
3i orth on. a twenty dayy furlough.
At I
Louisville I met Gens. Garfield and
Steednmn. Garield was going to Con
gress, and Stetdman north on business,
Garfield had been our General's Chief-
of-Staff, and Steedaaan commanded a
fine division in the same armv. We
happened to go down to the ferryboat
in the same tws, on top ot which were
Garfield's and Steedman's negro ser-
vants. It appears that owing to the were counted for the Democratic can
fact that the Emancipation proclama- didate. Like charges were made at
tion was not general,
and did not at
Kentucky, that
that time apply to
state's lezislature-'had taken advantage i
of it and passed laws authorizing the
kklaappiag- and connscaang of every I
strav negro the gangs of civil officers
and citizens could lay hands upon. Offi
cers with poses were stationed at the
levees, instructed and authorized to f
teiae all negroes attempting to cross
she river oa the boats, no matter where
they were from. When we went onto
the boat we were all in ignorance of
t lis State law. and of the fact that a
stroes force of men were on the host
tor tne purpose oi seizing any Katocsy
darky who might be going north with
Union officers. Mv attention was first
called to the fact bv hearing Gen. Gar- Democratic leaders ia the Sate had
tWW ask a Qomnotis feolrinsr maa:lprepred"fortheBeTBetratk of -these
"What do you want of that boy" I
looked out of the 'bus window and no
ticed that the man in company with
i . I1 J T- j P
otners, was oraenmrtnetwoooysogec
t down from the 'bus and 2ashor with
them. The man who claimed to be the
sheriff, said the boy could not go across
the river; that he should take posses-
SIOB OE
than, etc, asd pceeded S
f orr e them off the boat At this Gar- , ity the election oSeexs at some points,
neM and Sseedmna jumped oat of thefi--" stated, took a modified oath to
Tms. Garfield was mad; he told those "w- and truly discharge the duties of
insolent men thst he had been fighting jndaes to the best of therr ability, and
rebels m the field for two years, thai aeeorOine to the best interests of the
he would now do some fighting in the j eoaatry and the Democratic party."
water, and that if they did not leave Did any DeHWcratie o&cial take
the boat at once they would get hers. se& an oath? In the rouncies named
He stood between tbh nagroee and om- J e Bepabiiexn State Coatmittee.
eers. and shook his fist in their faces.
-"
and dared them to touch the black
boys, who had so faithfully stood by
him in the esimp and oa the battle
groaads of Stone river and Chiek
amanga. Gen. Steedman was
mad; he palled off his eoat and
marsoed into the crowd, saving
he eoH fight sah a white-
Kvered set of rascals with. good relish;
Chicksmauga, had had no terrors for
him. neither had kidnappers. It was
an exeiting time then. While Garfield
and Steedman were gettimrtbe negroes
away from the sheriff and bis deputies,
us fellows in the bs were getting our
revolvers out of oar valises, and we
soon were oat and forming a line of
battle, one deep and f oar apart, in rear
of Garield and Steedmao. The sheriff
finally exhibited a disposition to take
the negroes at any risk, Garfield, fol
lowed by as blue-coats, moved on the
enemy in foree. Thear retreated "right
smart" to the shore. The :dvrin. from
a safe place on the shore, ordered the
captain of the boat not to move the
boat with the negroes on board. The
captain then came to Garfield and toki
him that he. the captain, eouhi not
take the boys across the river without i
incurring a heavy fine, and therefore
would not move the boat. Gen. Gar
field said he woeH relieve him of the
responsibility, so he announced he
would pilot the boat across, if someone
would volunteer to run the engine. Up-
j several soMier agreeing to do it. tne
! captain caved and ordered the boat nn-
' tied, saying he would take the damned
crowd across and stop the 'tarsal fass.
I The boat started and
the row was
j enrteu.
LHirneta aaa steeaman were dom ana
resolute- Their brave aad determined
bearing, no doubt, saved bloodshed.
as
the kidnapping crowd were too
eowed to persist in their attempt to
take the negroes. Had even one shot
been Jlred there wofcl have been a red
hot time on the boat; the bine-coocs
present and looking on were worked np
In a good rerhting condition, l am
yoers, hastily. Geo. Q. Gardneb.
Tse Aiabass Pfes.
There is danger, that in coandering
the fraads at the recent election in Al
abama, as a purely partkfaa qoestiea.
that the enormity of theogense agaiast
kiw and decency will not be aside
fully apparent to that class of eitizeas.
larger than any poiitieal party, who
are interested'in protecting whatever
is of vital importance to repnhtieaa
institutions. It has been the duty of
Bepabikans to eaR attention to these
fraads, bat more than Repubfieans are
eooceraed in the prompt adoptkm of
! corrective measures. The question
goes beyond party, and moderate Dem
ocrats in the .North lost an opportuni
ty when tuey did not take the initia
tive in condemning practices that
would render any election a farce, and
pat acide all the machinery for gaeg
ing popular sentiment on public ques
tions as worse than useless.
Had they
believed in the free election pmak of
their platform, they woukl have done
this, and had General Haacock been
honest ia his declaration as to a free
ballot and fair count he wookl have
at once denounced the frauds in Ala
bama.
. ,
But Hancock and the party
XTStlJfCA.1
have remained sitent. In the race ot
the evidence submitted thev have not
hrrcrc a TTr-nTrrnrc?TTrT
6.TT.ilK3WHr ?.ejucc .
FAIKBROTHFElt & HACILEJ-
ADVERTISING KATES.
Osaisca'.ane yet?:.
Each sncceedtoff feet. par yean.
One Inch, par mnnSt
ISO
E&cn. add!fitaliac!i.pec3ia;i la
ical advartJsem an taatlagal rates CaessjEar
f 18 lines of ooparejl. cr lessjdiat tosarlioa ,1IUh
each snbieqsen tisseztioa. Hf.
jg- All traasieatadvarJlsessentsmaat e yali
foria aiivaaee
OFFICIAL PAPER OF THE C017STT
i dared to deny that frauds were pexpe-
put on record scores of eases, in which,
if the facts were not correctly stated.
Democrats should be able to make any
William H. Smith. United States Dis-
i - wi: in 111 r niHL cr avi ri iktt nr .un
vcwciucui, at """"-- w --
era! Weaver. Greenback candidate for
President, adds his testimony as to the
general character of the frauds, and
other gentlemen quite as prominent
give details that mark the scheme of
fraud as one of the boldest attempts to
disfranchise all raea opposed to the
Democratic party that waseverjlunned
eTen in the Souths
Against all these charges and state-
I meats the Deraecratie leaders and pa
pers remain silent They do not at
tempt to explain even, and the only ut
terances of local committees and per
sons are in the nature of excuses.
It is not denied by Democrats that
under the name of Independents, the
Bepubikans and Greenbdekers united
in the support of eaiHlidates agreed up-
I on. It is not denu-d that the colored
men were out in xoree, and it can be
proved that they did not vote the Dem
ocratic ticket, and that they did vote
the opposition tieket.
The men who
voted are readv to testify that they
did not place Democratic tiekecs in the
ballot-box, and men who saw the tick
ets as they were voted will testify to
the same effect and yet alL or nearly
all, were counted to "swell the Demo-
cratic majority.
In one prtaeincfc 340
opposition, votes were polled, and all
but thirteen were counted as Demo-
craoc in anower, waere ao opposi-
tion votes were cast all bet forty-five
tmrteen otner preetness m tne same
eounty, and other counties are enum-
ernted m the address ot the committee
where changes were as great and as
geseraL
At one point, where a fair count
was insisted apoe bv a KepuWicaa in-
r specter, the poUs were serrounded by
state troops and
the coast proceeded
with according to the programme
marked oat by the Democrats. While
the Republican inspector was present
175 votes were counted, and of these
lift were Republican or oppositioe.
After he was driven off, 500 tickets
were counted, and all hot sixteen of
these were coasted Democratic
It appears on investtsatioB. that the
fraiKte with great eare. and that, to
make sure of their object they dfcrre-
garded laws now
t.VP 1.1 ZWLW A
on their statute
books. A gentleman writing from
HuntsvSle. states that frauds are ex-
cueedby many prominent Demecrats
oa tne groan tnat tne object in view
.jasuaea tne inspectors m making false
retains, jlo avow, tne enar-e at per-
J es-4jTenior btow. and by Mr.
Randall, the Greenback editor, were
false eoHntrf made, as stated ? Are the
Democrats billing to join the BcpaMl
eaiks in a scheme to investigate and. ex
pose the frauds ?
Up to this date there have beea no
answer to these qnestiong. If the
j frauds are one-half as bud as efaimed.
the friends of good government may
well despair of any reform in Alabama.
If the Democratic party defend or ex
ease the frauds, it becomes the iaetru
raeBt for the perpetuation of the sys
tem, and in so dotag stamps the decm
ratkms of the Ciseirraati platform as
j. hoQow pretence and a sham. Inter
1 0xxsn,
IrriAy T. asel.
North Achkc. Xe., 3fare St. ISJff
3IZSSE3. VttU. RKKAXSOSr D..
Deoraars Weba-3Bsd KJitaey-Wort la
1 kw faaray with v-rr aatlB&ietajrv results-
I hAvetakaa U mjhU rw fiwl aad fend,
touttcha koaefited. e -note tban any
thts I!v ever takes. I reseiBinead it
tO. JA3T2SKSZ.
SAtssr. N T Sepc 2 &.
TVEIX3. mCKAKfeHKC Jt CO.,
Tear"KJdeey-Wf aet3 tt&e a aharm.
Please send sae ar pacfcasH x rcaolpt mt
tkfe and eMige. Voces trly. L.F&4fis.
Dr. Schaf er says of the re-feed Xew
Testament soon to be published:
"The revision will so nearly resemMe
the present version that the mats of
the readers and hearers win scarcely
perceive the difference, while a careful
; comparison will show slight improve-
meats in every chapter and almost ev-
erv verse.
The draggists are advertibiag the
Haaceck Ague Cure. They will make
a fortune oot of it. The whole Haa
cock party wfll have the agae, before
the first of 2sv&ber.
X It polbIe
That areBetiy mnde of ata
pie ptosis as Hc, Bana. XaBsaic. Boa
deHoa. At, KM&e- " aaaaoy mod se ramrret
as asal woiJuihil crax Hf Maaeas darT
lCracfcke. tae wh-ea old aad yam r:. ricb
acKl por, Pr ad Vwsbac. Lawyer and
Bdttor, aD tety ta avtoe; heea enred y
lHW,TemWew aiad dnufct na leemr
See other Mtesw. !.
It has beea soggested that the Dem
ocrats of Indiana organrze theworkiag
mea of the State into dabs, under the
mtmeof "The EnsSsfc Focedosers."
The Xew York TrAunateoamsads
that "English soooJd take a heavy
mortgage oa Hampton's aoetfc and
foreclose it.
Lamp shades of groand glass saaaM
be eJeaaeti with soepsade or peatfetsh:
these will not ia jure or discalar taam.
Deetfeof heaevofeace are as1 neoes-
sarv to oar hoaamess as & seed is so fa-
j -ure harvest.
Unqnestlonaljle.
Tlie HerviA, xJetrsit. itletu. says C War
ner's Safe Ltveraad Kidney Care ; "Ite efll
eacy In. kidney, liver, and. urinary diseases Is
i so felly acknowledged taot it W ct wortkt the
J qcesttenlnz. Bosa ftde testimonials
tsmsi
r-al 1 - V lo C r t
" tu-. m. .atxc
poMfe aad private
Hfe are evidences atrstiaj ememt to aenvince
Uie moat stnbK3cn dcabter," SaaZ