X
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" If. - W
THE ADVERTISER
THE ADVESTISEE
O W.JAIBBBOTBER.
T. C. HACKEE.
O.W.lTAIRBBOTnSB. T.C.nACKXB .
FAIUBROTUER & IIACKSB,,
Publishers & Proprietors.
FAIRBROTIIER & HACKER,
Publishers and Proprietors.
Published Every Thursday Morning
AT BKOWNVILLE, NEBRASKA.
L ADVERTISING KATES.
On e Inch , one year-
$10 00
soa
1 oo
Each sncceedlnglnch. per year-
One Inoh, per month.
TKIOIS, IN ADVANCE :
One copy, oneyear
One copy, six months, -
Each additional Inch, per monfn- . 50
tesal advertisements at leeal rates-OresniiAro
(I01inesorNonpareJI.orIes.s)arstInsertIou ijco
eachsnbsequentlnsertlon.SGc. "
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forln advance. v
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Onecopy, three months
jKS" NopapersentfromtheoniccnntilpMdiir.
ESTABLISHED 1856. l
Oldest Paper in tho State. J
BROWNVILLE, NEBRASKA, THURSDAY, OCTOBER 16. 1879.
VOL. 24.-NO. IT.
HEADING MATTER OXEVERYPAGE
OFFICIAL PAPER OF THE COUNTY
II
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I
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4
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UH1
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OFFICIAL. DIRECTORY.
District Officers.
s, u.rottNn
J. P. WATSON --
WILLIAM JL IIOOVEIt .
-Judge.
.District Attorney
District Clerk.
Conntv Officers.
mirv s. KTITI.I, .Connty Jiirtce
WILSON K. MA JOHS
A. lr.fill.MOUE
It.V KLAfK
,Clerk and Itccordcr
.TrPasuror
Shprlll
O It. PAKKEU
..Coronet
J A M I-2S Jl. I ' 1 ' r-" --"" W
PIIIMI' CKOTIlEIt School Superintendent
joiixir.sirooK. "
JOHN IT. VoriLMAN - Commissioners
J. It. I'KEUY, J
JAMRSM. lIACKKIt
.Surveyor
City Officers.
W.T. KOIKIK
-i..r. Trm.tuTn.ii
3rnyor
Pollce Jiirtcc
.. Clerk
.Treasurer
Marshal
J. It. DOCMCKTl
A-osnonif.
J0IIN.W. LOVE.
COUNCTLMEN.
T,.T.UOIUNSOV1
JOSEITTlMinY.I""
w.a.jitdi:ixsA
A.U.OILMOHE f
j,kwis hill.
js. nrDiJAKT, S
lst Ward
..2nd Ward
3rdWard
' SOCIAL, DIB. aCTCHY
fTTiTiT-nTina.
nretliortlft T3. Chtirrh.-Herviceseach Sabbath
at IQ-.M a. m.. and 7-ffl p. m. Snnlay School at
2", p.m. Prayer Mating Thursday evening.
S. P. WrtsoK. Pastor.
rpshrtcrlnn Chnrrli. Services eachSabbath
nt 10:30 a. m.. and ": p.m. Subbath Hchool after
mornincervlces. Prayer Meeting Wednesday
evcnlngsat 7:5o'clock. W. J. Wbebkb. Pastor.
Chr!t' Chnr -li. Services every Sunday, a
10:30 a. m. ind 7:00 v. m. Sunday School at2 p. m
Bkv. Mattiikw IIkkrv, Missionary In charge-
flit. IMonsant Cumberland PrcNbyterlan.
Church four miles sonth-westof nrownvlllp. bcr
vlces ilrstsnbbath In each month. B. J. John
son, pastor.
ChrUlInnnnircli.-A.irawlev.VJder.Prerrh.
Ing every Snndav atll n.rn..ftndip.m. IJlDie
hdInKandPraverm-etllnK every Wednesday
evening. Elder Chas. ltowe preaches the second
Sunday In every month.
Cnthollc.-Servlccs every 4th R""""'.1
month, at 10 o'cloch a. m. Father Cummlskj ,
Priest.
Temulo'of Honor.
"5ayJoVf3H:
Jnvcnllr Te.ni.1e, meets every RtfuriJT after
noon. MKi Oraee Stewart. C.T. Miss Joary
HacWar.tjec; Mrs.T.S.MInlck.Supt.
Rod RlVbon Club
Meets the llrst Tnedav of each month. B. 31. Bai
ley, Pres.; A. lI.Gilmore, Sec
i. o. of o. r.
nrownvIltoT.o.lac No. 5. "-&nC$slt-meetings
Tuesday evening o each ., s"
Inghrothersrospectfully Invited. A.II.Utimore,
N.O. Jas. Cochran, Secy.
Meets every Staturday. Philip Crother. r.u. l.
C. Klmsev. li. Sec,
Kniehts of Pythias.
KxcelHlor Lodce No. 1 3. K. SSrB
Wednesday evening in '-'" ".wnr
Knl?hts cordially Invited. E. Uuddart, CC
E. IrfjiV-ma!!, K. pf H- S-
TVTocnTlIo.
tNrmnhn Vnlley l-ojlsc So. 4 , A-J.-' j
BrownrlllBrJmi;tprSo.4.TA.3I.
meetlnitsseconii J unrniuj"! " - " c"
Davison, M.E.H.P. It-T. IUlney. Sec.
Wt. Cn rincICon.rnn.ndrrj'Xo. JvITIrr'w
meetings -eroiid Monday In ech monn. it. w.
Furnas. E. C; A. W. XlckclT. Kec.
tVct-Meets at Masonic IFall on U'nill.S
.lavs, it V. Furnas. M. P. Sov. K. T. Itamcy.
Secretary.
Adah rfcPtrrX"-Srt",t!,.5 XS
Stateo nieeiincsuiiru .mihuj --
Mrs. K.C. uanuicy, w. .i.
Sociotios.
Connty T-nlr Asoplntlon.-n. A. Hawlcy.
JTcHldent: John Bavh. Vl'-e Prest.: S. A. Os orn.
fc Thomas Bath. Geo. Crow. J. VavIU
I Library Vssoclnllnn-B.M. Jiaiiey. l-res.. -v.n.
S. rllltmirn Sv- W. 1L. llOOVOr.
fci...-nl ilnlon.-J. C. McXaughton. Prest. J. B.
fj IJrtckt-r, Sec.
I Pn-st. J. B. Docker. Sec nnd Treas.
fnietro,.,Hnn Cornet nnn.WKT .S""''-,.:
Klcal lurecior. ju uui .-
1 -"0 ---
rTin "i - --,-' -j
BUSINESS CARDS.
A"' S.
vrrnT..TA V.
,ii.
niivMlclnn, Snrofou, ,,9,ctrl.cl.l"V
7 .'.. .or, i.n..i -fl in TtrowiivlIIO IS'W.
Olilce. II M-Uu street. Brownvllle. Neb.
r L. HULmTRD.
Jj. -ATTORNEY AT I.AV
And Justice ortht Peace. Oilice In Court House
Bu'ldlng. Brownvlllc, Neb.
OTUIiTi & THOMAS. .
O aTTORSBV AT IjAV.
Omee over Theodore Hill A Co.'a store. Brown-
vllle.Neb. - .
I. ATTORNEY AT I, AW.
Ontce over J. I'Mcaeei Ur..'.s-torc,BrownvIllc,
ebraska.
Sa. osnouN.
t ATTORNEY tTI.AW.
Ofllce.No.Sl Main street, Brownvlle. Iscn
H. BROADY.
Attorney anil Coutselor nt Law,
overStato HanK. Hrownviue,i-;u.
T I)nf!Vr)5
V Attorney nml CfliniBelor'nt Law.
V.nUiVeaiiigenvawiMiiiiuiuw..y-------. ,.-
oatr-.s'.eltohlscare. OlHce In tlie Boy bulldlnt.
urownviiie. jcu.
W. GIBSON.
nrieirsMTTII Sn JJOKSB fSIIOBR"
Workdone to order An.latlsractloncuarantecd
First street, between Main and Atlantic. Brown
vllle. Neb. - -
pAT. CLINE,
pl BOOT ASD SHOE MAKER
rnSTOM WORK m.-ule to order. aiidflU always
pnrlZi. Repairing neatly and Promptly done
Shop, No. 7. Main street. BrownvlIle.Neb.
"D M. BAILEY, .
SIIiri'EE AND DriVLKU IN
LIVE STOCK.
JtliOWXril.IiE. NEBRASKA.
Farmers, please will nud get prices ; I wau t
I !i:inHo your stoejr.
0.ilo .11 Main street. Ilotdley bulldlttg.
m
ESTABLISHSD IH" 1356.
OLDEST
REAL
ESTATE
AGEISTOY
William !S. Mooirer.
Does a Renerjtl Heal Ktaie llnblncss. Bells
I.iuiiis on Commission, exarulues Titles
jnakes l)eels, Mortgages, and all Instru
ments pertaining to tne trausfer of Ileal Es
tate Has a
Complete Abstract of Titles
to all Real Kstate lu Nemaha County.
J.ETTER HEADS,
i tim BILL HEADS
iFcc
..atly printout thiMjitlce.
Pain eannotstaywhereltlsused. It is the cheap
est medicine ever made. Fivedrops cover a sur
face nslarseas the hand. One dose cures common
Sore Throat. One bottle has cured Bronchitis. 50
cents' worth has cured an Old Standing Cough. It
positively curea Catarrh. Astuninand Croup. Fif
ty cents worth has cured Crick in the Back, and
tnesninc quantity Lame Back or elsht years' stand
ing. It cures swelled neck and all other Tnmors,
Hhumatlstn, and Pain und soreness in any part, no
matter where It may be, nor from what cause it
may arise, it always does you good. Twenty-live
cents' worth has cured bad cases of chronic and
Hloodv Dvsenterv. One teasnoonful cures Colic in
JWteen minutes. Ilwlll cure any cttse of piles that
is possible to cure. Six or eight application arc
warranled tocureuny case of Excoriated Nipples
or Inflamed Breast. For Bruises. If applied often
and bound up, there Is never the slightest discolor
ation to ther-kln. It btops the pain of a burn as
soon asappilod. and Is a positive cure for Chilblains.
Frosted Fcet.Uoils Warts, Corns and wounds of
every description, on man or beast. . Price. 50 cents'
and ?L Trial Mze. IScents. FOSTER, MILBUBN
fe CO Sole Proprietors, Buffalo. N. Y.
Sold la Brownville by A. W.N!ckell.
2sTO. 43
j
JBM
AUTIIOEIZKD BY THE U. S. G0TEUX3IEXT.
OF.
BRO V PTVILX.33.
Paid-up Capital, $50, GQ0
Autliorizcd " oOO.OOO
IS PllEPABED TO TBANSACT A
General Banking Business
"BUY and seli.
(JOIN & OUSEENOY DEAFT
on nil the principal cities of the
United States and Europe
MONEY LOANED
.On approved security onlv. Time Drafts discount
ed. and special accommodntionsKranted to deposlt
rs. Dealers in GOVKUNMENT BONDS,
STATE, COUNTY & CITY SECURITIES
DEPOSITS
R.ee!vcd pavableondemand and INTEUKSTal
towedou tlrhccfrtlllcates of deposit.
DIRECTORS. Wm.T. Den, C. M. Bailey. M.A
Handley. Frnuk E. Johnson. Luther Iloadley
Vv m. FraUber.
johx i. CAKSOy,
A. R. DAVISON. Cashier. ' " President.
I. CMcNAUGIITON. Asst.Ca3hier.
At Tlio
GROCERY AND PROVISION
13 STORK OUT 2$
Is the plnco to get
Groceries,
Provisions.
Confections,
Fine Cigars,
Toilet Soaj),
Canned Goods,
Fresh Butter,
JElc., JStc, JStc.
Wo Also keep all tbo best brands ofl
Hour, nnd everytlilns usually kept lin
a tlrbl class grocery btore.
We have in con
nection -with our
house a 11 rst class
FEED STORE
fTUnSRT!
IL PIU1S
lt " .1MPORSED BY.
PHYSlciAKSjl CLERQYMEfmHD
flTHE AFFLICTED EVERYWHERE
.THE eesATEST medicaQ
I ftiOBirii r ini. rw ,
II . "-1
i Vna r?r
TUTTS' PILLS
CURE SICK HEADACHE.
I ceedod In combining Id
these talk th hereto-
1 Sforoantagonisacqnall-
SmVrtTTITNn-
TUTFS PIUS
lUesofafa-ra
PtntQATivE, anaairo-
" CURE DYSPEPSIA.
effect is to Increase tho
appetite by causing tha
food to proPy os
TUTT'S PIUS
'WCURE CONSTIPATION.
TUTT'S PILLS
r CURE PILES.
TIITT'Q PILLS
simuate. ? "B5S
tern Is nourished, ana
by their tonic action oa
tno aigetsu" jib-i
reffnlarnnd healthy e
yacuationa ero pror
?: f, Vriih
which PERSONS TAKE
) - rM V.1n tlflfllf
CURE FEVER AND AGUE.
JholitoSiceofthcsa
TUTT'S PILLS
CURE BILIOUS COUC.
plUs, Indicates meir o
aaptabnity to noarlBb.
the body, hence uieu:
lefflcacyin curing no
ivous Sebility, raelan
i choly, dyspepda, vrast-
TUTT'S PILLS
Cure KIDNEY Complaints
insa of the liver.
Ichronic constipation.
TUTT'S PiLlS
.CURE TORPID LIVER.
and impsxungiiiK""i u
ISold everywhere.
TUTT'S PILLS
53 Marray Street
p Proprietor j I
k JS)
& Old Reliable jj zA
in num. i
y Give Him a Call
0 And you will be well J fed
w
Served lvlili tlie best!
Q tlie Market affords, fi
-W !1 "SI
w Xy
i
EATHEE EOMANTIO.
Tho select boarding school of which
MIsb Mlqerva Patterson was the
head, was a very ambitious establish
ment Indeed. Only first-class pupils
were admitted; first-class teaohers
only were employed.
To this seminary Mrs. Adolphus
White, a wealthy widow, had, after
anxious waiting for a vacancy, atlaBt
Bent her daughter Helen, a young
girl of 17, whose faoo and form were
remarkably pretty, but who was by
no means a girl of great good sense.
"It'is settled at last, Charles," said
Mrs. White to her bachelor brother,
as they sat at lunch together. "Hel
en Is with Miss Patterson, and I'm so
relieved. ' She will form her mind
and manners and make her the sort
of girl I should like to bring out. I
shan't do this too early. I waB mar
ried myBelf at her age, and I know
that one loses youth by being In soci
ety too young."
"You don't really mean to Bay that
you have sent Helen away from
home, sister?" said Charles. "A
mother should never let her daughter
live apart from her If Bhe can avoid it.
Send her to Mies Minerva all day, if
you choose, but have ber home at
night."
"It is quite the thing among sensi
ble people to patronize boardiug
schools," ealft Mrs. White, "and Miss
Minerva is a ludy of excellent family
and highly accomplished."
"Of course," said Unole CharleB,
"and It's all right for girls who have
no homes or mothers, but take any set
of young things you may select and
put them together for a while, and
they'll hatoh out mischief. And girls
are all ripe for it nowadays, I oan
tell you, in any of our towns."
"But such discipline as Mies Miner
va's" said Mrs. White, "Miss Miner
va's pupils could not get into mis
chief." "Oh!" said Charles. "Well, if
you're Bure of that, I might as well
besilent."
Meanwhile, the first day of Helen's
attendunco at Miss Minerva's school
drew to a clote. Supper was over.
And at last Miss Helen with the
four ytung ladies who belonged to
her room, was fairly ehut into her
nightly resting place. '
Then came ubout a metamorphosis
which astonished the new-comer.
One, tho tallest and most stately,
wedgod her scissors into tho door in
Bucii a manner as to form a tempora
ry bolt, and stopped up tho key-hole
with a bit of wadding.
The next produced a long wax-candle
from her pocket, and having
lighted it, flourished It aloft with a
cry of: "Who careB for 'Old Ram
rod's regulations now?"
And a third rushed to a corner of
the room, turned up the carpet, and
with an exclamation of, "Hero are
two, ono for you and ouo for me,"
held up two lotters.
The fourth girl with a little ecstatic
shriek, caught her prize and toro It
open.
And .tho young lady of the wax
candle thus addressed Miss Helen
White:
"I don't suppose you'll go and tell
old Patterson. We shall have to keep
your secrets after a whllo. Biddy, the
ohambermald, Is our postman. She'll
get all your love-letters for you and
bring them up on the sly."
"I haven't any love-letters. I have
no lover," said Helen, blushing.
"Your ma Is strict, I suppose," said
the other. "Well, you'll have plenty
before yo'vo been hero six months.
It's the nicest school I ever went to.
Old Ramrod' that's Miss Patterson,
you know can't seo an inch ibefore
her nose, and we'flirt splendidly, MIsa
Collins nndfnll. MIbb Collins Is an as
sistant, when we promonade. Our
first class has tho name of being regu
lar witohes, all through the town. We
know all tho follows.."
Helen listened with new emotions
rising In her breast. Bhe began to
feel delighted wlth'the idea of sohool.
She listened tojZtho epistles which
her companions did not hesitate to
read aloud. She even helpedoneofthe
girls to answer hers, and Bhe retired
by tbo light of tho long wax candle,
to read herself asleep over a piece of
literature by some French author.
Guided by her companions, and tho
easy prey'of circumstances, she be
haved most foolishly; and forgot all
the old ideas of propriety which had
once been her guide.
To one of her admirers who signed
himself "Carlos," she wrote as a girl
ought scarcely to write to hor betroth
ed lover.
And she forgot how guilty she
would once have felt had sho kept a
secret from her mother.
Mrs. White was delighted with Hel
en's progress.
Miss Minerva gave her a volume,
"The Guide to Young Ladles," ns a
prize for fino deportment; and no
body had any suspicion that her head
wsb full of nonsense, and her pocket
full of love-letters from an utter
stranger, to whom she had told all the
particulars of her life, and the full
extent of her fortune, and to whom
she had given vows of eternal con
stancy.
At last the climax arrived. Some
thing befell her that had not befallen
any of her room-mates yet, Carlos of
fered his hand and heart and begged
her to elope with him.
She read the letter aloud to Rose,
Grace, Emma and Maria, and all in a
flutter begged their advice on the
mnttor.
J "Ho says he's a Prluco," said Hel
en, with aglow on her cheeks, "and
you know, of course, I'll be a Prino
ess if I marry him ; and, of course,
he shall invite you to our castle. Last
night I met him I coaxed Biddy to
watch and let me in and he was all
wrapped up in a cloak ; but he was
splendid. Ho has a foreign accent,
and black moustache."
"Oh," cried Maria, "Hove a foreign
accent."
"And I've promised to run away
with him to-night," said Helen. "He
says ma will be sure to forgive us;
and he's awfully rich. And, oh, how
I feel girls!"
"Of course you do. But It will be bo
nice," said Maria.
"They never have bridesmaids on;
an elopement,' said Rose, "or how
I'd like to go!"
And while Mrs. White, with a dear
friend who also had grown up daugh
ters, but who kept them at home, con
gratulated herself on dear Helen be
ing safe at school, this affectionate
daughter, from whom she had just
received a charming epistle, corrected
by Miss Minerva, and touched by the
writing master, wob packing up her
small bundle in preparation for flight,
aided and ubetted by the four young
ladles to whoee example she owed so
muoh.
At twelve of the night she slipped
down stairs with her little parcel in
hor hand. Out Into tho moonlight
hurried tho young girl. The white
beams showed her pretty, foolish face
pallid as that of a ghost.
Perhaps Bhe would have turned
back, but that a figure in a cloak came
at tho moment from the shadow of a
porch and seized her by tho arm.
"Ah, mj' own Helen !" said a voice.
It was Carlos Prince Carlos her
own prince.
Romonoe camo to her aid. She for
got her fears, and entered the carriage
waiting around the corner with him.
Away they drove, how far Helen
did not know.
Suddenly the arm that encircled
her was withdrawn, and a voice said:
"Look here, young woman. No
noise. I'll choko you If you try to
scream. You have your watch and
jewelry with you, I hope, and the
money you promisod to coax from
your mother. Hand them ovor."
"Oh, It is not my Carlos!" cried
Helen. "Oh, what shall I do?"
"It is Carlos at least It Ib the man
you've been corresponding with,"
said the voice under the bat. "But
I'm no prince, and po husband for
you. Hund over tho money and the
jewelry, and I'jl not hurt you. I
haven't much fancy for a bread-and-butter
miss, and an idiot who would
run off with a man she didn't know,
to boot. Hurry f I'm waiting."
Poor Helen ! Bhe felt as though the
sudden end of the world would be a
comfort. Sho wob ready to die of
shamo snd mortification. But she
gave her purse, her watch and all her
Btnall possessions to the robber, who,
with a loud laugh, gathered them up
and jumped out of tho carriage, cal
ling to the driver:
"Take the girl back to the Bchool,
John, will you?"
The driver did as ho was told.
MIsst Helen Whito stood on the door
step of Miss Minerva's seminary
again, but not alone ; with her stood
the driver, in a furious rage. He de
manded pay. Sho had no money. He
swore he would be paid, and rang the
bell and battered tho door until not
only the servants, but Miss Minerva
and four and twenty scholars appear
ed in the hall and on tho stairway, in
all sorts of Impromptu drapery, and
having decided that it was neither
fire nor murder, opened the door to
behold MIbs Whito and her angry
companion.
"Pay me," cried this worthy.
"You, missus, that drives the ma
chine, pay me. Here's a gent hires
me to carry off his gal, and when they
falls out and parts I loses my fare.
Pay mo!"
But MIsb Minerva, recognizing her
scholar, darted forward, rescued her,
slammed the door In the man's face,
ordered the sorvantsto guard-It, and
asked for explanations.
The explanations ended In a swoon
on the part of Miss Minerva and hys
terics on the part of Helen White.
The next morning Charles stood he
fore his si9ter with a peculiar express
ion on his face.
In her lap she held a packet of let
ters which Bhe had perused.
"Can it bo that my daughter would
write and receive Buch things as
these?" she said.
"My dear sister," said Charles, "all
Is as I have stated, and it Ib as well
that, on tho part of tho gentleman, it
waB all a piece of acting. Helen was
in earnest, and has no idea that hor
letters were from her uncle.
"That he, in a mustache and
cloak, eloped with her, and wound up
the affair by robbing her; or that the
driver wa3 his old friend Winter, who
has daughters of his own, and who
promised to wind up the affair In the
most dreadful manner possible.
"You must, however, promise me
to send for Helen to-morrow, and to
keep the truth of this affair a secret
so that it may be a life long lesson to
her."
Mrs. White listened. She was an
gry, but she bad sense enough to do
as her brother desired.
And it was not until Helen was
married that she learned that her
love affair, elopement, and desertion
were all carried on by her Unole
Charles, who knew what the result of
boarding-house flirtations might be
and cured his niece, by giving her a
bitter lesson, of all disposition to im
prudeutconduct in foolish sentimentality.
The Law of Matrimony.
Yesterday morning an old negro
man arrived in the oity from St. Louis
in search of hiB before-the-war wife.
Tho old man went off into the war
with bis, master, but, undergoing a
change politically, deserted him and
embraced the emancipation cause,
and now, after so long a time, be
comes back to tho scenes of his child
hood. After making a great many In
quiries be learned that his wife bad
married again and that she and her
husband were living down on Second
street. Arriving at tho designated
house the old man, stiff with rheu
matism, hobbled up the narrow steps
,and, feTl against., the door, .which,
yielding to tho weight of his body,
opened. Sitting near the window was
a tall, bony woman. Near tho fire
place, rubbing a fiddle with a greasy
woollen rag, sat a man.
"It seems tor me like," said tho vis
itor, dropping down on a trunk, "that
you uster be my wife afore de wall."
"Bles8deLord," exclaimed the wo
man, "It's begiunin' to hitch on o'
me in the same direction."
"What doeB dis prankln' mean?"
said the last husband, dropplug the
rag aud throwing the fiddle on the
bed. "Splain yourselves."
"Dis 'oman uster be my nat'ral wife,
and I've oome hcah tcr see if we can't
make some sortor 'raugemonts in re
gards to it."
"Ole man," said the last edition of
matrimony, "de'beB' an' mo3 p'lito
thing isforyor to go 'way an' ten' ter
yer business. Dis 'oman an' myself
understands each oder putty tolerable
well, an' de bes' thing is for yer tor
lef us."
"Daniel," said the woman, "when
yer was young yer was a pretty square
sort of feller, but now de rheumatiz
have cotch yer, anfl fore God 1 doan'
wauter rheumatized man. Ban. yer's
bow-Ialgged at do bes'. 'SideB all dat,
I'se changed my Miglon."
"Let me sight yer ter a parable In
de law, 'cordin to BlackBtone," said
tho second husband. "De firs' deed
and de Jus' will am de mos' powerful.
De firs' deed am subject to de last will.
Wasn't it a deed when yer married
dis 'oman? wan't do aok of marryin'
her a deed?"
"Tibbershoah," said tho first hus
band, reflectingly.
"Wan't our marrlago a will ? wan't
It de 'oman's will dat site married me?
Answer tho question squarly ?"
"Yea."
"Well, -don, 'cordin' to de law, de
'oman Is mine." v
"Datlsafao', Dan.," said tho wo
man. "Ain't 3'or gwln ter give me no al
lum money ?" asked Dan.
"Do law don't mention dat," said
the victorious husband.
Dan. arose from the trunk and look
ed around tha room. A tear stood In
his eyo. Suddenly his faco bright
ened. "Gin' mo dat catfish over dar an' I'll
leavo you."
"De law don't mention de fish, but
I'll gin' it ter yer."
Daniel picked up the fish, ran his
finger through Its gills, aud passed
out Into the street. Little Jiock Ga
zette. The Dos Moines Register publishes
tbo following letter, written by H. M.
Dixon a fow days before his death :
Yazoo City, Aug. 11.
Leslie Eassett, Esq., Richland, Keoknk Co.,
Iowa.
Your favor of Aug. 6 Is at hand. I
mall you a copy of tho" Herald, and am
grieved to say it is too true all jou
have heard thro'ugh the Northern
press of the outrage perpetrated in
this county oh July 25. Sinco that
tlmo a perfect reign of terror has ex
isted In this county. My associate on
the independent ticket for Chanoery
Clerk has been haunted and his house
surrounded for several nights by arm
ed men numbering from 50 to 100, de
manding his withdrawal from the
canvass; but as yet they have been
unable to seo Mr. J. E. Bell, who is
the candidate for Chancery Clerk.
There is no Republican ticket in this
county. Tho independent 'ticket Ib
oomposed of Democrats, but on ac
count of' tho colored people support
ing tho ticket so generally, it has
aroused tho Bourbon Democrats to
suoh a high pitch that they declare
no opposition ticket Bhall bo put in
the field. Every effort is being made
to cover up their action hero on the
25th ult. You cannot Imagine or pic
ture the scene of that mob, and but
for our gallant Mayor, J. H. Holt,
blood would have been spilt and my
self and many friends murdered. As
to the race Issuo, that is all bosh. Tho
negroes uro all quiet and could not be
aroused to arms by any one, and were
they to attempt such a thing no one
would rally to the protection of the
intelligence of the county quicker
than myself, and every white person
In the county knows it. I have Baid
nothing as yet, but so soon as the
time arrives I will be heard from.
You will please not use ray namo if
you publish this, as it may injure me
in Borne way. I intend to come out
with full details so soon as it Is pru
dent. Yours very truly,
H. M. Dixon.
Ho W8a a soedy Individual, and his
heel peeped out In the nakedness
from ono or two spots in his shoes,
while bla pockets looked like crab
nets. 'I believe those stockings are
clocked,' said ho, gazing hopefully at
those articles. 4Yes, but there's no
lick in them,' said the clerk signifi
cantly, as he sadly meandered away.
I Yonkcrs Qazctic.
The First Ride Through a Canyon.
Two adventurous miners recently
took a ride through the Big Horn
Canyon, in the Yellowstone region,
never before traversed by man. Had
they been ablo graphically to de
scribe their adventure they would
have told a tale seldom equaled in
thrilling Incidents. Wishing to Bave
two hundred miles' travel around the
mountains, theyconcluded to try tho
canyon. With some tools they had
In their mining camp they built a
frail oraft at tho bottom of the can
yon, having previously taken down
their material of red cedar. The boat
was made twelve feet long, three feet
wide, and upon trial was found to car
ry its cargo of freight and passengers
admirably. So on tho morning of the
23d of July they untied it and pushed
into tho ourrent. The rush of tho riv
er, which before startingjwas almost
deafening, was terrible as the boat
started on its journey through this
unknown gorge. To go bock was Im
possible; to climb tho solid limestone
walls which rose five hundred feet
above their heads, where a narrow
streak of light lighted up their course,
was not to bo entoitained as'a means
of escape; through they must go,
trusting to their ability to avoid rocks
and to tho strength of their craft to
run the rapids which they mot at ev
ery bend of tho canyon. Tbo loudest
halloo wua heard as a whisper. Grot
toes, caves, unknown recesses of na
ture were passed by these hardy nav
igators. In places flocks of mountain
sheep, startled by tho appearance of
the ouriosity rushing by below them,
would run along a ledgo of rooks,
jump from crag to crag, where footing
for man would be impossible, and dis
appear. Evening oomlng on they at
tempted to tie up for the night. They
worked the boat close to shore, jump
ed out, and away went the craft, car
rying the guns and provisions. With
starvation behind them and hardly a
foothold before them their chances of
keeping on were doubtful, when they
luckily found two logs, which they
lashed together with their belts, and
again trusting to tbo rivor and still
more dangerous rooks they set out to
search for tholr boat, which thoy
found two miles below, where it had
stopped in an eddy. On the afternoon
of the third day, while wondering
how much longer the Big Horn Can
yon could possibly bo, they suddenly
shot out into the beautiful Big Horn
Valley, with Fort C. F. Snilth on
their right.
Its riedges all Fulfilled.
In his speeoh at the Republican re
union in Madison, Wis., Senator
Chandler said : "Tho great Republi
can party, whoso twenty-fifth anni
vereay wo are celebrating, has accom
plished more In that twenty-five
years of Its oxistenco than any other
politioal party that ever lived on earth
accomplished in a thousand years.
(Appiauso and crie3 of 'That's so!')
It Is the only party that ever existed
for 25 years that, at the end of that
period, had not a solitary unfulfilled
pledge. I defy its worst enemy to
namo one single pledge ever made by
the party that is not to-day fulfilled
to the letter. We promised to save
your Territories from tho blighting
curse of human slavory, and wo not
only saved them from it, but we
wiped tho uccursed institution from
the continent of North America. We
pledged ourselves to give you a home
stead law, and we did it. We pleged
ourselves to give you an Agricultural
College Land bill, and wo did it. Ev
ery pledge weevermadois to-day ful
filled." A Peculiar Duel.
London Troth.
I was looking over the BtorIe3 that
werosentln last week for the prize,
and I wondorthat the editor did not
insert this ouo which Is really too
good to bo lost:
There Is a curious duel now pend
ing in Boston, which began several
years ago. Mr. A., a bachelor, chal
lenged Mr. B. a married man with
one child, who replied that the con
ditions were notTequal, that he must
necessarily put more at rlskwlth his
lifo than the other, and ho declined.
A year afterward he received a ohal
lengo from Mr. A., stating that he,
too, had a wife and child, aud he sup
posed, therefore, tho objection of Mr.
B. was no longer valid. Mr. B. re
plied that he now had two children ;
consequently the Inequality still ex
isted. Tho uext'year Mr. A. renewed
his challenge, having now two chil
dren also, buthla adversary had three.
The matter when last heard from,
was still going on, tho number being
six to seven, and the challenge being
yearly renewed.'
Watermelon Cake. I send the
following: For the white part, take
two cups of white sugar, one of but
ter, one of 6weet milk, three and a
half of flour, whites of eight eggs,
two teaspoonBful cream tartar, one of
soda, dissolved in a little warm wator.
For red part, take one cup of red su
gar, half cup of butt6r, third of a oup
sweet milk, two cups flour, whites of
four eggs, teaspoonful cream tartar,
half teaspoon soda, teacup of raislnB;
be careful to keep the red part around
the tube of the pan, and the whito
around tho edge. Cor. Chicago Inter'
Ocean.
The Clam is Rhodo Island's nation
al bird. liosion Pout.
A Coon Swallowed by a Snake.
To the Editor of tho Qiobe-Democrat :
Gentlemen Seeing a corner in
your most excellent paper devoted to
the amusing and instructive version
of wonderful "snake stories," which
have been litorally dealt with. I
have waited several weeks for some
more ablo writer to give an account of
tho strange behavior of a monstrous
serpent that'met his fate In the pres
ence of several gentleman from St.
Louis, that are abundantly able to do
the subject justice, but as they con
tinue to keep silent, I unostentatious
ly contribute the following, knowing
that many of your readers will enter
tain grave doubts of the authenticity
of the report, as well as the veracity
of the author: Not many months ago
tho writer, was homeward bound
from tho South, with several gentle
men of quasi political reputation,
who had been sifting tho Louisiana
Returning Board election frauds, etc.
When our boat drew up to tho bank a
few miles below Vloksburg, to take
on wood, a number of passengers, I
among tho rest, ventured ashore.
While engoged in drawing'dowu a
huge etreamer of Spanish moss my at
tention was called to a raccoon that
was descending a leaning treo a fow
yards aw.ay. Approaching I discov
ered a very large serpent eagerly in
specting his coonshlp, aud seemingly
speculating on the amount of nitro
genous matter surrounded by that
glossy hide.
Down came tho coon, and his ser
pentine foe swallowed him without a
struggle. By this tlmo a number of
the party wore on tho Bpot, and we
were preparing to liberate the ani
mal by opening thoj abdomen of the
snake, when to ourksurprise the coon
emerged from tho caudal extremity
of hiB living prison, and scrambled
for the tree he had recently occupied.
In this attempt ho was, follod. The
wily serpent seized him, tall foro
most, and sent him bowling homo,
but not as easy as betoro, for'ooou re
sisted every effort of deglutiou, and
in this ho was aided by tho displace
ment of his fur, for tho snako was
swallowing him against tho nap.
Such being tho case, wo concluded,
tho coon would never And tho way
out via the alimentary, and we again
prepared to open the reptile. In
this we wero mistaken, for after a
series of struggles, startB, stops, blind
switches, etc., he struck the main
track and came backing out, bewil
dered but not discouraged, and again
set out for tho tree. But the snake
arrested him head foremost this time,
and drawing up his huge body into a
dozen or more lateral angles, curves
and convolutions, hoping thereby to
retain him, he slid him down his
oesophagus like a worm lozenge.
"But all too lato." The cunning
coon had learned the route, with all
Its by-roads, blind paths, drifts, dips
and angles. He again emorged, only
to be seized by the hungry serpent,
who now stood guard at tho door.
This wna repeated until tho serpent
was enfeebled by exortion, and the
coon, animated with success, came
galloping tbroughjCliko a steer in a
cornfield, spraug clear of his foe and
regained the tree. Tho snako was
then killed. J. F. W.
Cold water, Mo.
Tho Stale Fair Trick.
Detroit FreoPro-iS.
Soon after breakfast, yesterday
morning, a negro who was crossing
the Campus Martius was halted by a
run-down white man with a bad kink
in his left eye, and asked if he intend
ed to visit tho Stato Fair during the"
week.
Yes, sah Izogwino up dar at least
fo' times,' was the reply.
Boy, are you up to snuff?' whis
pered the stranger.
'Well, sah, I know a trick or two.'
'Good Ithought you did. Now,
then, I want 10 cents to get a drink,"
and I'll tell you how you can make
your way through any of the gates
without the least trouble.'
Wouldn't I bo cotched ?
'Not a bit of It. I'll warrant you to
go through without a word, and T on
ly wontlOcents for tolling you how.
I wouldn't give it away to anybody
but a sharp, keen man like you.'
Weil, I'll take dat In,' said tho ne
gro as he handed over a dime. 'Now
den, how kin I pass the gates?'
The whito man put his mouth close
to the other's ear and replied :
Pay 'em 50 cents!'
It would have been a pretty even
fight, but an o Ulcer came along and
squelched it iu the blossom.
Over fifty patents have heen ob
tained for cow milkers, thirteen In
England and forty in America.
These machines have been divided
into three classes. First, tube-milkers;
second, sucking machines ; third,
mechanical hand-milkers. The first
are tappers, the second suckers, and
the third squeezers nnd strippers.
Some devices are formed of combina
tion of these classes. As yet no ono
machine can be considered a success,
as, notwithstanding the apparent suc
cess in singio mllklugs, the constant
use seems to forward a tendency to
ward drying off the cow. From our
own experience, we are disposed to
think that no machine whioh does
not jar the udder in a manner Bimilar
to the bunting of the calfor the prao
tlce of tho hand milking will bo a
dUCOOSsJ
A TALK WITH ARTEMtfS. WARD.
A Young Editor's Experience TYitU
tho Humorist.
Detrol t Free Press.
I met ArtemuB Ward but once. I
was quite young at the time and was
acting as oity editor of thenar, pub
lished at Schenectady, N. Y. While
I was city editor of that sheet I met
Artemus. I was standing on a bridge
at tho time, and In talking about
newspaper work was about to say
something in regard to my hsavy ed
ItoriaU'.responslbility, but Ward
checked me by asking :
What creek is this? .
Creek!' I exclaimed, "why; tUIsis'
tho Erie canal,
'How far is it navigable?
Why, of courso, it is navigable from
ono end to the other.'
'Well,' solemnly replied Ward,
that beats all the streams I over
heard of. By tho way, I think I can
mako out some largo boats anchored
up the stream there what are they,
propellers or side wheelers ?'
I replied that thoy wero moroly ca.
nal boats, and were moved by horso ."
power.
Ah! I didn't think tho stream. .
was as shallow as that,' said Artemus.
'As shallow as what?".
Why, you say that thoso boats are
pulled along by horses. Now, "of
courso, they must walk along In front ".'
of the boat, musn't they? I'used to
run a stone boat on my lamented TJn- ".
cle John's farm, and I distinctly re
member that tho horses walked along .
In front.'
I mentally declared that I had nev
er before met with such Ignorance." I
spent somo timo iu explaining the
peculiarities of the big ditch, and just "
as I had beguu to think that at last I -had
set the stranger right on the sub
ject, ho knocked my hopes into ki'udl-
ingwootl by remarking :
I suppose that when tho stream
dries up in tho summer they put boats
on wheels, don't thoy?'
Then I began- again and explained -
every .feature In the. canal, from New.
York to Erie. How attentively he .-
listened to my words! I can. still see
that melanoholy faco, lit by. the light"
of the stars; and those mournful eyes-"-looking
into mine bo earnestly;, and"
again I hear, .as I did then, after. J
had talked for nearly half an. hour,
going fully Into the detajls of boating,
the low, -pathetic-drawl :.
'Any sawmills ou this stream that
yqii know of?' -. -.
Shortly after some gentlemen "came
along who seemed to bo acquainted-'
with my obtuse friend. Presently
ono called him Artomtis, aud then X .
commenced to reflect. I always re
flect best whon I'm hid away fiom'o
where, and so I went and hid myself. . -.
Elopements.
Somo of the recent elopements are
interesting. Mr. Bean took his wife
to a concert in Manchester, N. "B.,
slipped away from her, went home,
packed his olothes in a trunk-, stole
$2,000 of her money, and ran away
with a neighbor's spouse. The Rev.
Jas. Deverigny abandoned his Michi
gan parish, leaving a large numberof
debts, and taking along Deacon Snell's
daughter. A young couple in Dap
forth, Ky., on whose union their par
ents frowned, fled together on. a sin-
gle horse, but the overloaded beast
was unable to outrun the- ono on
whioh Uio girl's father pursued, and
the elopement was a failure. Two
lovers who oloped' from Milwaukee
by railroad wero" so olosely followed .
that, for fear of being overtaken, they
did not-stop long enough at any Bta--tlou
to.got married. At length", after
threo days of Incessant .travel, they
found a clerg3'm'an on the train, who
performed tho ceremony.
A curious- survival' of an old-time
Institution exists in some remote pla
ces In .England, viz., the official ale
taster. Tho ale-taster" .takes an oath
to "try, taste, and assize "the beer.aho'
ale. put on ealo" in his dis.triot,
"whether tho samo be wholesome for
man's body." Tho old ale-taster's
method of "analyzing" beer for the
purposo of detecting tho addition of
sugar to tho liquor was' rather primi
tive. Like most men in those days,
ho wore leather breeches, and, when
he went to test alo for the presence of
sugar, a pint of fluid was split on a
weil cleaned bench, and the taster sat
upon it till it dried. If, on rising, the
seat of the breeches stuck to the
bench, then sugar was present, bat if
not, tho beer was pore.
Kallocii-De Youno. Kalloch Is
a bad lot. So is Do Young. Both
are dirty. They Indulged In bad
language toward each other a very
bad practice. Neither told the truth
about tho other. It would take a
long time. It would be no loss to the
world if Kalloch should die of De
Young's bullet, or De Young of a
tight cravat. Last year the Califor
nia worklngmen worshiped De
Young. This year they worship Kal
loch. Why do they worship unprin
cipled editors or adulterous priests,
when there aro honest worklngmen
living? Bozion Herald.
"What," a3ks a writer, "Ijj fiercer
than the eye of a fighting animaPai-
bay ? Well, we don't know what, un
locn m!vhi. it'n tho ntlinr eve. Or.'
hold up, wo won't give It up yet It's
tho animal itself. Ask ua auothar
uue
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