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THE ADVERTISER.
THE ADVERTISER
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G.W.rAntBKOTUEB. T.C-HA.CXM.
FAIRBROTHER & HACKER
Publishers fc Iroprletax.
8. W.FAIBBBOTBEH. T.C.HACKKE
FAIRBKOTIfEK & UCKCR,
Publishers and Proprietors.
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Published Every Thursday Horning
AT BUOWNVIXLE, NEBRASKA.
TliR3IS, tS ADVANCE
One copy, oneyear -
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E EADING MATTER OXEVERTPAGE
Tlie
nc
IIS" THE
ISTew IFirxn ! !
CONSISTING-,
k
PLOWS,
WAGONS, . '
CULTIVATORS,
CORN PLANTERS,
THRESHING MACHINES,
McCormick Reapers & Mowers.
Our Goods are all of the best quality, and the
Call and Examine our implements and be yonr own
JudSe' TEAHE & CAMPBELL.
DEALER IN
FAMILY GROCERIES, CONFECTIONS, TEAS,
GANJSnm FRUITS, NUTS, TOYS,
QUEENS, GrliASS, TIN & WOODEKWARE,
STATIONERY, PAINTS, BRUSHES, CUTLERY,
Pipes, Tobacco, Cigars, Musical Instruments, Patent Medicine,
JEWELRY and NOTIONS
CITY BAKERY, BROWNVILLE, NEBRASKA
&?ZSg5&Sca&i?2-ee? CVBXSR SECOyD AXD COLLEGE Sts.
:S!3rijRiSnr Where I Intend: to keep a First-clasi
Farmers' Trade Respectfully Solicited. Prices the
SAME TO EVERYBODY.
J. H. RQYSE, Proprietor.
ALTIIOKIZIM)
THE U. S. COVKJSXJIE.
OF-
BROWNVILLE.
Fald-nj) Cajntal, $50,000
Author izvO, " 500,000
IS TUEPAREDTO TRANSACT A
General Banking Business
JIUY AXD SELL
GOIN & OURKENOY DRAFTS
on all the principal cities or the
United States and Europe
MONEY LOANED
On approved security only. Time Drafts discount
cd, and special nccommoclatfonsirranted to deposit
rs. Dealers in GOVJEUNJCENT IJOXDS,
STATE, COUNTY & CITY SECURITIES
deposits;
Ueccolved payable on demand, and INTEREST al
lowed on time ccrtlllcates of deposit.
DIltECTOnS. Wm.T.Den, R. r. Raller, jr. A
JIandley. Frank E. Johnson, Luther Hoadley
"Win. Frabher.
JOHN L. CAPSOX
A. It. T AVISOS. Cashier. PresIdenL
J. C.McX AUG HTOX. Asst.Cashier.
BODY & BRO.
Proprietors
OliB RELIABLE
BROWXTILLE, NEBRASKA.
SOOD3 SWEET,
PK.ESH MEAT,
Always on Hand.
Satisfaction Guarantied,
1 A.. B-A.TSI
Is now proprietor of the
it
I,
and Is prepared to accomodate the
public with
GOOD, FRESH, SWEET
MEAT,
Gentlemanly and accommodating clerks
tvlll at all times be In attendance. Yonr
patronasti solicited. Remember the place
the old Pascoe shop, Malu-sU,
MSrownvillc, - Nebraska.
FEMZ HELBIER,
$AG0N &glAGKSMlTHHOP
OXE DOOB WEST OF COURT "HOUSE.
WAGON MAKING, Bepairing,
Plows, and all work done In the best
mannerand on short notice. Satisfaction curan.
ed. Olvehlmacall. f34-ly.
RXS!.Ej?RD ELIXIR
IN flk tkl tflnul . .1 T
r.Y
First National Bank
IfiEAT
mkmu
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uioauuQiy
CUnI Sr ftr&
voSicst;
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ESTABLISHED 1856.
Oldest Paper in the State
.
IaoLj;est
OOtnSTTT.
3STew "G-oods ! ! !
IN PAST,, OF
I HAVE REMOVED 3IY
LIVEKY STOCK
Into the new stable South of the
VEai?sli House,
BROWXYILI.E
Ferry and Trcmfers
COMPANY.
HavInK ft first class Steam Ferry, and owning
and controlinc the Transfer Line from
BROWIVVIE,I,E TO PHELPS,
wearepreparcdtorenderentlrcsatlsfactlonln t
transfer of Freight and Passengers. "We run a
regular Hue ot
to all trains. Al orders leftat the Transfer Com
pany's office ill receive promptattentlon.
J. Bo:flel(1, Gen. Supt.
THE ADVERTISER
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Carson Block,
BROWKV1LLE, NEB.
ESTABLISHED IN 1856.
OLDEST
EBAL
ESTATE
A.G-E1STOY
IN NEBRASKA.
William H. Hoover.
Doesa general Real Estate Business. Soils
Lands on Commission, examines Titles,
makes Deeds, Mortgages, and all Instru
ments pertaining to the transfer of Ileal Es
tate. Has a ' -
Complete Abstract of Titles
to all Real Estate In Nemaha County.
-j. -
I PR1HTIH0
My Tramp.
That's he again I know his whoop
As ho sallies down the lane.
No need to stay till he calls for "grub"
With his face against the pane.
As I set me here In my easy chair
I can note the swaggering gait
Of his sunburnt feet, but I'll go at once,
My tramp doesn't like to wait.
Little brown breeches and brlmless hat !
I could tarry me yet for awhile.
And ponder, my young king-democrat,
With a mother-phlloKophers's smile,
The possible future of your young rule,
The Imperious doctrine learned
So early, alack ! "Ho meat 1 ho bread !"
Of the store you have never earned ;
Could divine, of the little tanned, tired feet,
What sort of a road, by and by.
They would travel apace, and at even-time
To what sort of home would hie.
"Ho bread 1 ho meat!" would he And them
there?
These are all the names he knows
For the great God love that makes the home,
For the fullness, the repose.
Ah, apple cheek and chestnut curls
That are lying upon my breast!
I wonder If this Is typical
Of the day's end and the rest !
And I lay my little tired worn-out tramp
On his little bed all white.
As I pray that the blessed Saviour's arms
May gather him in that night.
An Interesting Bridal Trip.
The train from Grafton, due at
Parkersburg, Virginia, at 11:40, a. m.,
slopped at one of the way stations, to
take on a couple newly married. Both
were young, and both were verdant;
having been raised, in the wilds of
West Virginia, neither of them had
been fifty miles from heme. They
had heard of railways, locomotives,
steamboats, and hotels, but had never
experienced the comforts of any of
the aforementioned Institutions.
Jeems and Lize had determined on
this, the most important event of
their lives, to visit the city and see
the world, particularly that portion of
it known as Parkersburg. No wonder
that they were amazed and delighted
when the locomotive, steaming and
snorting, with the train of beautiful
crimson care following it, came in
sight.
"These your trunks?" asked the
baggage master.
"Wall, I sorter oalkilate them's
'em," said Jeems.
The trunks (a spotted hair trunk
and a very old-fashioned valise, ( were
soon in the baggage car, followed by
Lize and Jeems.
"I'll be durned ef railroads ain't a
nice thing," said Jeems, seating him
self on his luggage and carefully hold
ing up the tails of his light bodied
blue coat, adorned with resplendant
metal buttons, out of the dust. "Lize,
set here by me."
"Come out of that!" said the bag
gage man; "you are in the wrong
car."
"The duce I am ! D'ye suppose I
don't know what I am about? These
is my traps, and I calkilate to stay
where they be. Keep quiet, Lize,
tuey say we've got to hgnt our way
through the world, anyhow, and if
that chap with the cap on wants any
thing, I'm his man. Don't want any
of yer fool in' around me."
Here the conductor interposed and
explained matters insomuoh that
Jeems consented to leave his traps
and follow the conductor. What was
bis delight when ho surveyed the
magnificence of the firsc-claes passen
ger car into which he was ushered.
His imagination had never, in its
wildest flights, pictured anything half
so gorgeous. He was aroused from
the contemplation of the splendor
around him by the shriek of the iron
horse.
"Jewhilikins! what in thunder's
that?'1 exclaimed Jeems.
"That's the horse squealing when
they punch him in the ribs with a
pitch-fork to make him go along,"
said a sleepy looking individual, just
behind him.
"Look here stranger," said Jeems,
"I allow you thiug I am a darned
fool ; may be I am, but there's some
things I know, and one of 'em is,
you will get your mouth broke, if you
don't keepitshet. Idon'tsay much,"
just at this moment they found
themselves in Egyptian darkness,
and then was heard a scream, almost
equal to the engine, from Lize, as she
threw her arms around the neok of
Jeems.
"I knew it! I knew it!" exclaimed
the sleepy looking individual. "We're
all lost, every mother's son of us. We
can just prepare now to make the ac
quaintance of the gentleman in black,
who tends the big fire down below."
"O, Lord Jesus, what will become
of us ? I felt skeery about gettin' on
the outlandish thing at first."
"Keopqu!et,Lize! Hollerin' won't
do suy goo'j now. Ef you know any
prayer, cow's your time to say it for
both of us."
"What's the matter here?" said the
astonished conductor, coming in as
the train once more emerged into the
light. "How far are you going?"
"Wall, I reckon we'll stop at Park
ersburg." "bnow me your tickets, if
please."
you
"Sartinly; Lize, you've got some
with you let this gentleman look at
'em."
Lfze drew a piece of white paper
from her reticule, and with a smile
handed It to our friend, the conduct
or, who read :
"The pleasure of your company Is
respectfully solicited,"
BEOWNVILLE, NEBRASKA, THURSDAY, APRIL IT, 1879.
"What ia this?" .said the conductor.
"Why, that is one of the tickets to
oar wedin', that is what you asked
for, hain't it?" asked the somewhat
surprised Jeems.
Whaw! haw! haw! haw! was the
discordant sound that arose from the
sleepy individual.
A bland smile passed over the face
of the conductor, as he explained the
meaning to his verdant friend. He
bad no ticket, but willingly paid his
fare, and the train sped on towards its
destination. But wonders did not
cease here presently the pert news
boy, Billy, entered the car, and, step
ping up to Jeems, he asked :
"Have a Sun, sir?"
"Wall, ef I have my way about it,
the fust one will be a son, sartin,"
said Jeems. Lize blushed.
i" V.UUUU JUUl UUIURCU3 UIUIO
they're hatched," said Billy, as he
hastened on to the next car.
In due time the train stopped at
the big depot in this city. Amid con
fusion of strange noises, and a Babel
of discordant voices, our friends land
ed on the platform.
"Buss, sah? Buss, sab.? Free for
the United States!" said the sable
porter of our up-town house. "Lady
take a 'buss, sah?"
"Wall, I rather s'pose she won't
from anyone but me reckon I'm able
to do all in that line she wants, and
more too."
"Go to the Swan House, sah?
Right 'oross de street best house In
de city. This way, sah any bag
gage ? have It sent to your room in a
few minutes."
In a short time Jeems and his bride
found themselves in one of those com
fortable rooms on the second floor of
that well ordered establishment, the
Swan House. The baggage was sent
up with the usual promptness, and
our friends were soon making their
toilet for dinner. Jeems had his coat
and boots ofl'in a jiffy, and Lize's hair
fell gracefully over her shoulders.
"That's a duced purty torsel, (eye
ing the bell cord), wonder what it's
fur? (catching hold of itj. Look, it
works up there on some sort of a
thingumbob. I'd like to have that
torsel to put on my horse's head on
next muster day ; see how it works,"
said he, giving it a pull.
Presently the door opened, and the
sable face of one of Africa's sons was
thrust into the room, with the inqui
ry of,
"Ring, sah?"
"Ring? Riug what? you black
ape! Ef you don't quit looking at my
wife, and make yourself scarce, I'll
wring your head off."
"Stop a minit," said Lize, "what's
the name of the man that keeps this
tavern?"
"Mr. Conley, marm."
"Well, tell his lady she needn't go
to any extra trouble on our account,
for we're plain people," said the ami
able bride.
"As they used to say in our debatin1
society," interrupted Jeems, "I'll
amend the motion by saying you can
tell 'em to give us the best they've
got ; I am able to pay for it, and don't
keer for expenses."
"Tee hee! tee hee!" was the audi
ble response from the sable gent, as he
hurried down stairs.
Dinner came and was dispatched
with a relish. Jeems and his bride
took a stroll over the city, Beeing the
lions and other sights, until supper
time, whioh being over they retired
to their room. The gas was lit by
the servant, who received a bright
quarter for his services. Jeems was
the last In bed, and according to the
rule in such cases, he had to put out
the light, which he did with a blast
from his lungs.
The noise in the street had died
away, and quiet reigned in the Swan
House. The young man on the watch
dozed in his chair. The clerk (rather
corpulent,) was about to retire, when
be thoughtrhe smelled gas. Some one
came down stairs and said he smelt
gas. The guests (some of them,) woke
up and smelt gas. Much against his
will, the clerk proceeded to find where
the leak was. It seemed stronger in
the neighborhood of the room occu
pied by the bride and bridegroom.
Clerk concluded to knock at the door
of their room.
"Who is there?" came from the in
side. "Open the door, the gas is es
caping." "Gas! what gas?" said Jeems,
opening the door.
"Why, here in this room. How did
you put your light out?"
"Blew it out, of course."
"You did a big thiug." Our clerk
came very near saying a bad word,
but remembering that there was a la
dy in the case, or rather in the bed,
he checked his rising temper, and
having lit the gas, proceeded to show
Jeems the mystery of its burning, as
follows:
"You see this little thing here?
wen, wden you want to put it out,
you give it a turn this way, and when
you want to make it lighter you give
it a turn this way. Serious conse
quences might have resulted if it had
not been discovered. Now be oareful
next time."
"Much obliged. But how the deuce
did I know the darned stuff was es
caping?" "Didn't you smell it?" asked the
clerk.
"'Pears to meTdid smell it," says
Jeems. "But Lize, I'll be durned ef
I didn't think it was you, case I nev
er slept with a w,omau afore."
"Well, Jeems, I thought it was
you that smelt that way all the time.
I was jest wunderin' ef all men smelt
that way. It 'pearod strange, but
then I didn't know nothin' 'bout it,"
was the response of Lize, as she turn
ed over for a nap.
The red in our clerk's face grew
smilingly redder as it reflected the
light from the burning jet, and a
roguish twinkle larked in the corner
of his eyes, as he turned off the gaB,
and all was dark, find our friends were
left alone in their glory. A sound of
suppressed mirth was beard in the
reading room for a few minutes, and
then all was still.
How I got'Inyited to Dinner.
My gettin' the better of my wife's
father is one of the richest things on
record. I'll tell yeou how it was.
Yeou must kneow that he is monstrous
stingy. The complaint runs in the
family, and everyboddy reound our
parts used to notice that he never by
any chance asked anyboddy to dine
with him. So one day, jist for a
ohunk of fuu, I said teu a friend of
mine, Jeddy Dowkins, a dreadful
nice feller is Jeddy, 'I'll bet you a
cent's worth of shoe-strings 'ginat a
row of plus that I get old Ben Mer
kins, that's my wife's father, to ask
me to dinner.'
Yeou git eout,' said Jeddy, 'why
yeou might as well try to coax a cat
into a shower bath, or git moonbeams
eout of ceowcumbers.'
Well,1 said I, 'I'm going to try.'
And try I did, and I'll tell yeou how
I went to work.
Jist as old Ben was sittin' down to
dinner, at 1 o'clock, I rushed up to his
house at a high pressure rate, red hot
in the face, with my coat-tails in the
air, and my eyes rollin' about like
billiard-balls in convulsions. Rat-tat-tat
ding-a-ling-a-liug. I kicked
up an awful rumpus, and In a flash
out came old Ben himself. I had
struck the right minit. He had a
napkin uuder his chin, and a carvin
knife in his hand. l6melttho dinner
as he opened the door.
Oh Mr. Merkius,' said I, 'I'm tar
nation glad to see you.
moughtn'tbe at home.
I feared you
I'm almost
out of breath. I'm come to tell you I
can save you a thousand dollars.'
'A thousand dollars!' roared the
old man ; and I defy a weasel to go
'pop' quicker thau his faoe burst into
smiles. 'A thousand dollars 1 Yeou
don't say so! du tell!'
O,' said I, 4I seeyou are jist haviu'
dinner ti5uw. I'll go ah' dine my
self, and then I'll come back and tell
you all about it.'
Nonsense,' said he, "don't go
away ; come In, and sit down, and en
joy yourself, like a good fellow and
have a smack with me. I'm anxious
to hear what you have to say.'
I pretended to decline, sayin' 'I'd
come bsck ;' so E stirred up the old
chap's curiosity, and it endend by his
fairly pulling me into the house, and
I made a rattling dinner of pork and
beans. I managed for some time to
dodge the main point Of his inquiry.
At lastl finished eating and their was
no lurther cause for delay ; oesiues
old Ben was getting fidgety.
'Come, neow,' said he, no more
preface. About that thousand dollars ;
come, let it eout!'
Well, I'll tell you what, you have
a darter, Misery Ann, to dispose of in
marriage, have yeou not?'
What's that got to do with it?' In
terrupted he.
'Hold your proud steeds, don't
run off the track, a great deal to do
with it, said I. 'Neouw answer my
question.1
Well,' said he, Thave.'
And you intend when she marries
to give her$10,000 for a portion ?'
I do.'hesald.
Well, neouw, here's the p'int I'm
coming tew. Let me have her, and
I'll take her with $9,000 ; and 9,000
from 10.000, accordin' to simple addi
tion, jist leaves 1,000, and that will be
clean profit saved as slick as a whis
tle." The next thing I knew there was a
rapid interview goin' on between old
Ben's foot and ray coat tails, and
I'm inclined to think the latter got
the worst of It.
People are often a little confused as
to the injunctions contained in the
several commandments. In a South
ern city notlongsince ayounggentle
man devoted to a young lady who
didn't very warmly reciprocate his
adoration carried off her photograph
without her knowledge, a proceeding
which evoked from her a rather sharp
request for its return. This brought
a profusely apologetic note, contain
ing an emphatic assurance that he
had not the slightest intention of
breaking the seventh commandment.
It is related that Bulow, while giv
ing a piano recital in Berlin, sudden
ly stopped his playing, and, bounding
to the back of the room, began to at
tack a lady and gentleman for 'chat
tering' during the performance. A
little of this belligerency on the part
of musicians might work a needed re
form in this country. Everything
else has failed.
An Irishman remarked to his com
panion, on observing a lady pass:
'Pat, did you ever see so thin a woman
as that before?' 'Thin! replied the
other; 'botherashen ! Iseenawoman
as thin as twoof herput together, sol
have.
'O thou invisible spirit of wine, if
thou hast no name to be known by,
let ua call thee devil. Shakespeare.
Doirn the Eoad."
BY GEOKQK L. CATLES.
A lnsty tramp, one summer day
The sun was glaring fiercely down
Trudged on along the dusty way
That led towards the nearest town.
No friendly tree Its welcome shade
Athwart his weary pathway cast;
No babbling brooklet leaped and played
Along the roadside as he passed.
"Is there no shndyjspot he cried,
"At hand ?" to one who by him strode.
"O ! yes," the other one replied
"A llttlo further down the road."
Ah, well ! we all are tramps, at best ;
"We stagger 'neath life's dally load.
Yet on we press and hope for rest,
"A little further down the road."
NO, I GUESS NOT.
Mr. Jo Beokly stepped out on the
ample porch of the Agricultural Club.
He looked forth with disgust upon
the dense fog in which London was
enveloped, and then gazed with de
light upon a tioket for Calais whioh
he held in his hand,
Mr. Jo Beckly had an exceedingly
rural air. Large and brawny and
grizzled, his brown face covered with
scrubby beard, his joints all clumsily
developed, he looked like a back
woodsman. Being a baohelor, also,
his toilet lacked that adjustment
whioh a wifely touoh or suggestion
imparts, and intensified his rural air.
But that Mr. Beckly possessed in
telligence was proven by his wide-a
wake air, and by the fact that be had
brought no baggage to Europe, except
the little satchel now depending by a
strap from his muscular shoulder.
The Honorable Felix Plimpot, M.
P. stepped out on the porch with him.
'Bon voyage, Beckly. When you
get back to America, pray forward us
your articles in the Spade and Hoe,
whenever they appear.'
'Good-by Mister Plimpot.5 The best
time I've bad in England I had on
your demesne, sir ; and when the land
question comes up in Parliament
again, I hopeyou'll send me a copy of
your speech.'
'With pleasure, sir.'
The two shook hands heartily, and
Mr. Jo Beckly departed.
Ere he had gone half a block a
seedy gentleman in gray approached,
and slapped him familiarly on the
shoulder.
"How do ye do, Barry? When did
ye get in from Ploverton?'
'You are mistaken in your man, sir,'
said Beckly.
What! Ain't this Barry Baxter?'
'No sir. My name is Beckly.'
I beg pardon. I mistook you for
Baxter same build, same whiskers.
Where are you from, sir?'
I am an American.'
'Possible! I havea brother in Amer
ica. What part are you from?'
'Near Springfield, Massachusetts.'
'Ah, yes; my brother has been
there. Stopping in town with your
family sir?'
'With my family?' replied Mr. Jo
Beckly, a sly twinkle creeping into
his eyes. 'YeB. My wife and the
twins are staying at the Merry-Go
Inn.1
Ah! Well, sir, if you see my
brother when you get back, please
give him my love.'
And the seedy man In gray walked
away.
Mr. Beckly looked after him in some
surprise, then turned and went on.
Half a square beyond a voice hailed
him.
'Cab, sir?'
No, I'll walk,' replied Mr. Jo Beck
ly. The cabman dashed on, and just as
Mr. Beokly turned back his head,
somebody stumbled out of the fog
against him. It was a tall, spare man,
in oierioal garb and ueoktie, with a
sanctimonious air.
'Pray excuse me,' he exolaimed.
'What I is this Mr. Beokly? It cer
tainly is?'
And the spare man shook hands cor
dially with him.
'Really, you have the better of me,7
said Mr. Jo Beckly, preplexed. 'I
don't recollect your name.'
'Cowper, sir, Cowper! We met in
Massachusetts some months ago, you
remember.
'Oh, did we? Where was it? at
the Horticultural meeting?' inquired
Mr. Beckly.
He could have sworn he never met
the man before.
'Yes, that was the time. How is
Mrs. Beckly, sir? aud how are the
twins getting on ? I should like to
see them all. Are they in London?'
A light broke over Mr. Beckly's
face. All uncertainty vanished.
They are with me, Cowper, at the
Merry-Go Inn,' he said.
'Ah ! glad to hear it. You are go
ing that way? I shall be pleased to
accompany you. When did you come
over?'
Last month,' responded Mr. Beck
ly. And the two walked on, apparent
ly full of good feeling.
I am proud to welcome you to our
country. And what do you think of
Hengland, Mr. Beckly?
Well, I think itsuperior to Amer
ica in some respects, but I wouldn't
care to live in England. You are
well organized here, while America Is
still crude; but, after all, you havea
great many poor people, while we
have almost none. What business
are you in, Cowper?'
Stock-raising. I am just testing a
theory of vay own. I've learned In
what temperature cattle will fatten
VOL. 28 NO. 43.
'
fastest, and have built sheds bo as to
keep them in that temperature all the
year round. Don't know how 'twill
operate. I'm in town now to sell
some cattle. By-the-way, that re
minds me where are we? Ah, this
is No. 1,111. I have an errand at No.
1,123. I took a lottery ticket on a
debt, and they say it's a prize number.
I'd like to step in and see if it's good
foranything. Here we are now ; just
drop in a moment with me, Mr. Beck
ly.' No, thank you,' said Mr. Jo Beok
ly. Oh yes, just a minute ; then I'll go
on with you.'
Very well.'
'It's up stairs, Isee. Come on, sir.
Mr. Jo Beckly followed him up three
flights of stairs to a little front office,
where a clerk stood busily writing at
his desk, behind a long counter.
'Good-morning. Is this the office
of the Rio Janeiro Lottery ?'
'It is, air.'
'I have a ticket, number 22,222.
pleaBe see if it has drawn an3'thing.'
The clerk looked into his books.
It has drawn seventy-five pounds,
two shillings;' and he went back to
wards his safe.
'Do you hear that, Mr. Beckly ? Do
you hear that? Luck, sir ! I only al
lowed my customer three shillings for
the tioket.'
The clerk oarae back with seventy
five pounds in clean Bank of England
notes, and paid them over the count
er.
'Where are the two shillings?'
We never give small change, sir. I
will give you two draws instead.
Oh ! All right. Here, make it
four draws. Here are two shillings
more.
A shilling a draw is cheaper than
we usually allow.'except for six draws
at one time,' said the clerk. 'Won't
your friend take a hand ?'
'Mr. Beckly try a couple.'
'No,' said Jo, 'I guess not.'
I'll give you four, then at the six
rate, this time,' said the clerk, and he
took the money.
A drum-like box wa3 produced.
Mr. Cowper put in his hand and
drew out four envelopes, each con
taining one ticket. He opened them,
and called off the numbers. Three
drew nothing ; the fourth drew four
pounds, one shilling.
'This is splendid luck, Beckley !'
whispered Cowper. 'Don't you want
to try it?'
'I guess not,' said Mr. Jo Beckley.
Gentlemen,' said the clerk, confi
dentially, Isaw a remarkable sight
here this morning. A man came in
and gave me a hundred pounds, and
drew tx bushel of envelopes. Will you
believe me there were only two
prizeB among 'em! Well, gentlemen,
after he went away, I found that the
Queen sent him hereto try for her. I
was sorry she had such a poor pull,
but I couldn't help it; we must be
impartial, and let luck go where it
will. All the royal family patronize
us, and almost always have good luck.
And I never knew suoh a quantity of
blanks drawn out without a heavy
run of prizes right afterward.'
You're right about that!' exolaim
ed Mr. Cowper, with enthusiasm.
'Beckley, we can make a fortune
here. Suppose we put in five pounds
apiece, on trial?'
'No,' said Mr. Jo Beckley, 'I guess
not.'
'I will, anyhow,' said Mr. Cowper
He paid the money, and drew twenty
eight pounds, sixpence.
'Luck is against me,' said the clerk,
mournfully. 'There's going to be a
run of prizes now, sure!'
'Do you see that? Do you see that,
Beckley ? I tell you we can make a
fortune! Try a five-pounder!'
No,' said Mr. Jo Beckley, 'I guess
not. But I tell you, Cowper, you try
two shillings for me; if it wins, I'll
pay you back.
'But If it don't!'
'Then I won't pay you anything.
'Better try for yourself, sir,' said
the clerk, affably.'
'No,' said Jo, 'I guess not.'
Mr. Cowper looked at him doubt
fully. Well, I'll try for you on those
terms,' he Baid, at last. He tried and
drew ten pounds. Mr. Jo Beckley
took it, gravely, and banded out two
shillings.
'Very much obliged, said he.
'You're welcome,' replied Cowper.
'Now let's try five pounds together.'
What did you say your name was?'
asked Mr. Jo Beckley.
'Cowper.'
'Cowper! Cowper! Cow-per! I
thought you said Cooper. .1 guess it
wasn't me you met at Springfield !'
Oh, yes, it was?'
It must have been my son James.'
'No, it was you.
'Or my son Jedediah, or Ephraim,
or Samuel.'
'No, it was you.'
'Well, then, if it was me good-by,
Cowper.'
The men started.
What, sir! Surely you will try
your luck again ?' said the clerk.
This Is not fair!' exclaimed Mr.
Cowper.
By no means! You must try, sir!'
exclaimed the clerk.
Mr. Jo Beckley retreated toward
the door. They followed him fiercely,
the clerk with olub in hand. Mr.
Beckley looked at him, then out of an
adjacent window.
Upon the level the London fog is
dense, but looked through from the
housetops is quite penetrable. A po
liceman stood below, on the opposite
side of the street. Jo Beckley sud
ADVERTISING RATES.
Onelnch.one yanr.
Each succeeding Inch, pes yeas.
One Inch, per month.
Each additional inch, per montb.
?gaI advertisements at legal rates- Ooesuare v
OoiinesofNonpareJl.orlessJflratinsertion.jJBol
eachsnbaequentlnsertlon.fOc. fj.v,
3TAlltransieatad.vesUseoieatsnjast be d!a
forin advance. ii. if"
OFFICIAL PAPER'. OF THEC0UXTI
denly threw up the broad window,
Do you see him ?' he asked, poinU
ing toward the officer. I must lsavo
you. Pray, don.t object, or I eball
have to call him. Good-day, Cowper.
They glanced out into the street,,
looked at Jo Beckley'8 brawny, mus
cular form, and kept quiet, although
livid with rage, as he stepped out
In the hall, Mr. Jo Beckley looked
at the ten-pound note. To hia sur
prise, it was genuine.
He came back and opened the door,.
The two men eicod confronting each,
other, disputing angrily.
Ah 1 Cowper, if you visit America
again, come and see me. We'll go.
coon-hunting. You'll enjoy coon
hunting, I know. The coon is an in
nocent-Iooking animal, Cowper, bub.
he's mighty sly!'
He went down-srairs, haijed a cab,,
and was whirled toward the depot,
with a shrewd smile on his Yankee
face. Ess Eatings
I wish to give your readers, Bays a
writer In the JPoultry World, a little
of my experience regarding egg eat
ing. I once had a very fine lot of B.
B. R. Games, and thought a great
deal of them, but after all the care I
gave them they were mean enough
to eat their eggs as soon as laid. Day
after day I went to my coop fbr eggs,
but in vain: I did "not Erefc so mnoh as
0 -
a sight of one. I tried almost every-
tuingi could think or, but still in
vain. At last I thought I would
play a trick on them, so I got an egg
and broke the butt open large enough
to let out the insides. Then I mixed
up some good strong mustard and
filled it full, putting a piece of shell
over the part broken. I went to my
coop and put the egg in the nest.
I had no sooner dropped the egg than
one of my hens bounced on it like a
cat ou a mouse. She stuck her bill
in it and dropped the egg on the floor
(not waiting for me to retire). No
Booner did it touch the floor than the
reat of the fowls went for their share ?
they got it, all of them. They soon
walked off. wiping their beaks
against everything they came across.
They left a litte for manners' Bake.
It resulted (the joke) in my gathering
my eggs next day, and I have not
had any occasion to repeat the eX"
periment.
learn to Think.
Now, young folks, I dare say you
number among youracquaintances
some needless people who are forever
floundering, forgetting Midi making
mistakes, whoare alwaysjvery sorry
after doing some silly or thoughtlesa
act, but why lay all the blame of it on
"I didn't think," and consider that
tbatsettlesit. But that is lust where
all the trouble lies. If they had not
got a thinker as I knew a bright
little boy who so defines his mind,
and a very good definition it is, too,,
as a bright child's meaning of things
is apt to be it would be different.
But tbey have machinery specially
adapted to this purpose, yet they
won't use it because it takes
a little trouble, and they want some
body else to do their thinking for
them. Don't follow their example;
do your own thinking. Throw over
"didn't'think." He Is a bad fellow
to have anything to do with, and wili
be sure to make- trouble for you be
fore long. If you want to amount to
any thing in this world and I'm sure
you do you must work; and to work
efiectively, one must think. See to
it, then, that you begin at once.
The Prosperous Fanner's Creed.
We believe in small farms and thor
ough cultivation.
That the soil loves to eat as well as
the owner, and ought, therefore, to
be well manured;
In crops which leave land better
than they found it, making both the
farm and farmer rich at once ;
That every farm should own a good
farmer;
Thattha bebt fertilizer of any soil
is a spirit of industry, enterprise and
intelligence without theso lime,
gypsum and guano will bo of littlet
use.
In good fenoes, good farmhouses,,
good orchards, and children enough,
to gather the fruit;
In a clean kitchen, a neat wife irx
it, a clean cupboard' a clean dairy,
and a clean conscience;
Tbattto ask a man's advice is not
stooping, but may be of much bene
fit; That is to keep a place and every
thing in its place saves many a step,
and is pretty sure to lead to good
tools and to keep them in order.
The New Haven Union thus de
soribea the distinction between the
method of Republican leadership and
Democratic leadership: "The Re
publican leaders adjust themselves to
the sentiment of a majority of their
voters, and the party policy is readily
accepted by all. The Democratic
leaders attempt to throttle the majori
ty sentiment of their constituents
and frame their party policy on tho
direction of a small clique of monopo
lists." Don't be an editor, shrieks the
Boston Transcript. It's all' very well
to say, 'don't be an editor,' but when
a man is too honest for anything else,
what is he to do?
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5 9i
100
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