mg&F iHHLPJVJUMU
I- -t.y..-, J,,,
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THE ADVERTISER
THE ADVERTISER
I
:s
W. r-CfSBaCTHKJt. T-CEJUTJCES-
FAJCRBKOTffiEE & BiOKEH.
Pntriistiers &nd Proprietors.
k. &
rtxMlaker . IroprU:tar.
Published Every Thursday Horning
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EEA-DIXGSATTER OXEYERTPAGF,
Tlxe Iaiiet
QUI I ilil 1 i II i 1-1 1
rlcJ IliUlliii Eli
3ZN THE
jSTe-
jFirin ! !
W
CONSISTING-.,
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COEN PLANTEES,
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Our Goods are all of "the "best qxLaiity, and "the
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I II M ! 1, l MM
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.TEWELKIT and NOTIONS.
CITY BAKERY, BR0WNV1LLE, NEBRASKA
T
V -JV"
zr55S.Sx
j- " -:
i.JP" -TirO.!. .W-yBte m -.
JC"S .r5
! IVCDY AMU
Farmers' Trade Respectfully Solicited. Prices the;
uaattt Tr TrVTrTSTTzjoTk' !
SAME
J.
AUTHOBIZKD BT THE I. S. G0VEKS3EST.
First MmMmlFernj and Traners
or
BSOTTX
TT.R
Tahl-irp Capitals $50,000
MitJwrteod " oOO.OOO
IS rESPAKEST TmAJSSACT A
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OOIN 4: ODEEENGT DEAPTS
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STATE, COUNTY & CITY SECURITIES
Recrri-aMeaBaHna awl rKTEREST al-
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j.CJCABHTO-X.At-Cter.
SODY &G SEO.
Proprietors
OLD HSIXAB3LS
AT MARKE
BROWXTILLE, XEBItASEl.
GOOD.. SW
ISSSH 5IBAT
Always on iaand.
Satisfaction Guarantied.
is now proprietor of the
itlitK
01
5
and is prepared to accomodate the
pebUccrith
GOOD, FRESH, SWEET
nentlnnlv and acceiamedatlnz clerts
triU at all lliaes be In atteudcHCtt. Yoari
psttreaaze soHeKed. Hera ens tier the place
the eld P&scee sbop. ilaln-st. ,
Broirnvillc. - cbraslca.
rsAsrz
f AGON &LACKSM1THH9F
ONE DOOE W2STOF COUET SOUSE.
TT7AGOX iIAKIXGT Repairing,
W Plows, and all -srorfe dene In the best i
msar aai on short notice,
ed GtTehisiaeall
Sajjtf action cnaraa- i
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,gs- . gS. DYKES' BEARD SHXIR
J- "&2?2tt???r-:r- H-"V
IfiE
ESTABUSHI3) 1S56.
Oldest Paper is the State
.
COtJXTY
ZSTew 'G-oods!!!
EST PAET, OF
ITI
I HATE REMOVED 3TT
"s"TrCTi5 7" Q T1 O f "12"
s vf --j & -3 v jb-
Into tr
: aew stable Soctfc of tac
ill
BLonse.
i
Warehouse!
COZXES SSroyj) XD fTZZSGE SU.
"Where I intend! to keep a. Tirst-class
Tit
H. RQYSE, Proprietor.
BROTfVH.I.E
-jr2
COAIPNY
H&vtes a. ar?t cbs Steua Ferrr.aad ewatag
&a4 celUs: ifce Traasfcr Use r
BRO"9TTIULE TO PIIEIPS,
TrxrgyreporgitorgBdernttre5atfafetcttEla:
Iraarf-r f Frsigk: &b Pasegrs. We raa &
regvtax liaet
S??1
M II truss. Al orders left at the Transfer Cs
paays c&m will receive promptatteBttan.
J". Bo afield. Gen. Supi.
THE ADVERTISER
JOB PBIITIM
DEPaETIEEST
A fie as)rsaa: f Type, Bor
ders, Kafcs, Soct, it,
frpriBU
lDSflBBB.!arnffiilM!IB
CARDS,
Cssrd z&i BrB2c Laek,
STATS3CKTTS.
LETTEi: & BILLHEADS
EKVHLOPES,
Crcars,3)4gers,Prgra2EHis.
Sliow Gards,
EUL5K TTOEK OF ALL K15DS.
"Witfa ntaiaeis xad dispatch
Ckeab oe Ixixiuok TToek
jrorsoucxzxn.
nja.. ! b. w i i iij
Caroa Sleet,
BUOTXVXLIE, XEB.
I
SSTABLISSED Uf 1856.
OLDEST
ESTATE
A.G-Eisroir
1ZS XEBRASKA.
Wiiliaiii E. Hoover.
Does a general Real Estate Business. Sells
- ands oa Commission, examines Titles,
makes Deeds, Mortgages, and all Instru
ments pertaining to the transfer ef TLsal Es-
'tate. Sasa
t an Real Essa
Hass
ete Abstract of Titles
te aH Real Estate in .Nemaha County.
agj;1 "SSscBlf f r
My Tramp.
That's he asnln ! I know- his Trhoop
As he sallies do?ra the lane,
yo need to stay till he calls for "grub"
With his face against the pane.
f As I set me here in my easy chair
I can note theswazserlns gait
Of his snnhomtfeet, bat I'll go at once,
II y tramp doesn't like to -wait.
Little brsnra breeches and brimiess hat !
I conld tarry me yet for awhile.
And ponder, nxj- young king-democrat,
"With a mother-phUoecphers's smile.
The possible latere of yonr young rale,
Thfr Imperious doctrine learned
So early, alack ! "Ho meat I ho bread r
Of the store you have never earned;
Conld divine, of the little tanned, tired feet,
"What sort of a road, by and by.
They -would travel apace, and at even -time
To what sort of home wocld hie.
"Ho bread! ho meat!" would he find them
there?
These are all the names he knows
For the great God love that makes the home,
For the fullness, the repose.
Ab, apple cheek and chestnut curls
That are lying upon my breast!
I wonder if this is typical
Of the day's end and the rest !
And I lay my little tired wcrn-ou: tramp
On his Mttle bed all white.
As I pray that the blessed Saviour's arms
Stey gather him in that night.
Ab Interesting Bridal Trip.
The train from Grafton, due at
P&rkersburg, Virginia, at 11:40, a. m.,
IS
stopped at one of the way stations, to
on a eouphj.newly married. Both 1
were young, and both were verdant j
having been raised, in the wilds of
e5t Virginia, neituer or them had
been fifty miles
from heme. Thev
! had beard of railways, locomotives,
steamboats, and hotels, bat had never
( experienced the comforts of any of
; the aforementioned institution.
Jeems and Lize had determined on
this, the most important event of
their lives, to visit the city and see
the world, particularly that portion of
it known as Parkersbnrp. No wonder
that they were amazed and delighted I
the locomotive, steaming an
snorting, with the train of beautifc
d
beautiful
crimon cars following it, came in
sight.
"These yonr trunks ?" asked the
baggage master.
Wall, I sorter calkilate them's
'em," said Jeems.
The trunke (a spotted hair trunk
and a very old-fashioned valise, ( were
soon in the baggage car, followed by
Lize and Jeems.
"I'll be durned ef railroads ain't a
nice thing," said Jeems, seating him
self on his laggage and carefully hold
ing up the tails of his light bodied
blue coat, adorned with resplendant
metal buttons, out of the dust. "Lize,
set here by me."
"Come out of that!" said the bes-
cage man; "you are in the wrong
car.-'
"The duce I am ! D'ye suppose I
don't know what I am about? These
is my traps, and I calkilate to stay
where thev be. Eeen quiet. Lize.
they say we've got to fight onr way
through the world, anyhow, and if
that chap with the cap on wants any
thing, I'm his man. Don't want any
of yer foolin' around me."
Here the conductor interposed and
explained matters insomuch that
Jeems consented to leave his traps
and follow the conductor. What was
his delight when be surveyed the
magnificence of the first-class passen
ser car into which he was ushered.
His imagination had never, in its
wildest flights, pictured anything half
so gorgeous. He was aroused from
the contemplation of the splendor
around him by the shriek of the iron
horce.
"Jewhilikins! what in thunder's
that?' exclaimed Jeems.
"That's the horse squealing when
they punch him in the ribs with a
pitch-fork to make him go along,"
said a sleepy looking individual, just
behind him.
"Look here stranger," said Jeems,
"I allow you thing I am a darned
fool ; may be I am, but there's some
things I know, and one of 'em is,
you will getyour mouth broke, if you
don't keepitshet. I don't say much,"
just at this moment they found
themselves in Egyptian darkness,
and then was heard a scream, almost
equal to the engine, from Lize, as she
threw her arms around the neck of
Jeems.
"I knew it! Iknewit!" exclaimed
the sleepy looking individual. "We're
all lost, every mother's son of us. We
can just prepare now to make the ac
quaintance of the gentleman in black,
who tends the big fire down below."
"O, Lord Jesus, what will become
of us ? I felt skeery about gettin' on
the outlandish thing at first."
"Keep quiet, Lize! Hollerin' won't
do any good now. Ef you know any
prayer, now's your time to say it for
both of us."
"What's the matter here?" said the
astonished conductor, coming in as
the train once more emerged into the
light. "How far are you going?"
"Wall, I reckon we'll stop at Park
.ersburg." "Show me yonr tickets, if you
please,'
"Sartinly; Lize, you've pot some
with yon let this gentleman look at
Lize drew a piece of white paper
j 1".- . ......,- -f,.. ,
from her reticule, and with a smile
handed it to our friend, the conduct
or, who read :
"The pleasure of your eompany is
respectfally solicited,"
BEOWIfTYILLE, NEBRASKA, THURSDAY, APRIL IT, 1879
"What is thi3?" said the conductor.
"Why, that is one of the tickets to
oar wedin, that is what yon asked
for, hain't it?" asked the somewhat
surprised Jeems.
Whaw! haw! haw! haw! was the
discordant sonnd that arose from the
sleepy Individual.
A bland smile passed over the face
of the conductor, as he explained the
meaning to his verdant friend. He
had no ticket, but willingly paid his
fare, and the train sped on towards its
destination. But wonders did not
cease here presently the pert news
boy, Billy, entered the car, and, step
ping up to Jeems, he asked :
"Have a Sim, sir?"
"Wall, ef I have my way about it,
the fust one will be a son, sartin,'
said Jeems. Xiize blushed.
"Don't count your chickens afore
they're hatched,' said Billy, as he
hastened on to the next car.
Xn due time the train stopped at
the big depotin this city. Amid con
fusion of strange noises, and a Babel
of discordant voices, our friends land
ed on the platform.
"Buss, sab? Buss, sah? Free for
the United States!" said the sable
porter of our up-town house. "lady
take a 'bass, sah?"
"Wall, I rather s'pose she won't
from anyone but me reckon I'm able
to do all in that line she wants, and
more too."
"Go to the Swan House, sah?
Bight 'cross de street best house In
de city. This way, sah any bag-
gage?-
-have it sent to vour room in a
evr nunntes."
In a short time Jeems and his bride
found themselves in one of those com
fortable rooms on the second floor of
that well ordered establishment, the
Swan House. The baggage was sent
up with the usual promptness, and f
our friends were soon making their
toilet for dinner. Jeems had his coat
and boots off in a jiffy, and Lize's hair
fell gracefully over her shoulders.
"That's a duced purty torsel, (eye
ing the bell cord), wonder what it's
fur? (catching hold of itj. Look, it
works up there on some sort of a
thingumbob. I'd like to have that
torsel to pat on my horse's head on
next muster day ; see how it works,"
said be, giving it a pnll.
Presently the door opened, and the
sable face of one of Africa's sons was
thrust into the room, with the inqui
ry of,
"Ring, sah?"
"Ring? Ring what? you black
ape! Ef you don't quit looking at my
wife, and make yourself scarce, I'll
wring your head off."
"Stop a minit," said Lize. "what's
the name of the man that keeps this
tavern?"
"Mr. Conley, marm."
"Well, tell his lady she needn't go
to any extra trouble on our account,
for we're plain people," said the ami
able bride.
"As they nsed to say in our debatin'
society," interrupted Jeems, "I'll
amend the motion by saying you can
tell 'em to give U3 the best they've
got; I am able to pay forit.and don't
keer for expenses."
"Tee hee! tee hee!'' wa3 the audi
ble response from thesablegent, as he
hurried down stair3.
Dinner came and was dispatched
with a relish. Jeems and his bride
took a stroll over the city, seeing the
lions and other sights, until supper
time, which being over they retired
to their room. The gas was lit by
the servant, who received a bright
quarter for his services. Jeems was
the last In bed, and according to the
rule in such cases, he had to put out
the light, which he did with a blast
from his lungs.
The noise in the street had died
away, and quiet reigned in the Swan
House. The young man on the watch
dozed in his chair. The clerk (rather
corpulent,) was about to retire, when
he thought; be smelled gas. Some one
came down stairs and said he smelt
gas. The guests (some of them,) woke
up and smelt gas. Much against his
will, the clerk proceeded to find where
the leak was. It seemed stronger in
the neighborhood of the room occu
pied by the bride and bridegroom.
Clerk concluded to knock at the door
of their room.
"Who is there?" came from the in
side. "Open the door, the gas is es
caping.' "Gas! what gas?" said Jeems,
opening the door.
"Why, here in this room. How did
you put your light out ?"
"Blew it out, of course."
"You did a big thing." Our clerk
came very near saying a bad word,
but remembering that there was a la
dy in the case, or rather in the bed,
he checked his rising temper, and
having lit the gas, proceeded to show
Jeems the mystery of its burning, as
follows:
"You see this little thing here?
Well, when you want to put it out,
you give it a turn this way, and when
you want' to make it lighter you give
a mm tins way. cenous conse-l
quences might have resulted if it had
not been discovered. Now be careful
next time."
"Much obliged. But how the deuce
did I know the darned stuff was es
caping?" "Didn't yon smell it?" asked the
clerk.
" 'Pears to meTdid smell it," says
.tcn .u me A uiu emeu it," says
Jeems. "But Lize, 111 be durned "ef
I didn't think it was you, case I nev
er slept with a woman afore."
"Well, Jeems, I thought it was
you that smelt that way-all She time.
I was jest wonderin' ef all men smelt
that way. It 'nesred strantre. but
; tQen x didn,t kuQW nothin, ,hoQt it
was the response of Lize, as she turn
ed over for a nap.
The red in our clerk's face grew
smilingly redder as it reflected the
light from the burning jet, and a
roguish twinkle larked in the corner
of his eyes, as he turned off the gas.
and all was darkj .nd OQr friends ere
left alone in their glory. A sound of
.'suppressed mirth was beard !n the
reading room for a few minutes, and
then all was still.
How I irotlnTiteil to Dinner.
iTy gettin' the better of my wife's
father is one of the richest thing3 on
record. PII tell yeon how it was.
Teou must kneow that he is monstrous
stingy. The complaint runs in the
family, and everyboddy reound our
parts nsed to notice that he never by
any chance asked any bod dy to dine
with him. So one day, jist for a
chunk of inn, I said ten a friend of
mine, Jeddy
dy Dowkins.-a dreadful
is Jeddy.-'I'll bet you a
nice feller
cent's worth of shoe-strings 'ginst a
row of pins thnt I get old Ben iTer-
kins, that's my wife's father, to ask
me to dinnar.
'Teou git eont,' said Jeddy, 'why
yeou might as well try to coax a cat
into a shower bath, or git moonbeams
eoutof ceowcumber3.
'Well,' said I, 'I'm going to try.
And try I did, and I'll tell yeou how
I went to work.
dinner, at 1 o'clock, I rushed up to his
!
house at a high pressure rate, red hot
in the face, with my coat-tails in the .
air. ana my eyes rollin' about nee,
omiara-oaii3 in convuiions. i-.at-
lai-iat cing-a-img-a-uug. x kkkcu
up an awful rumpus, and in a flash
out came old Ben himself. I had
struck the right minit. He had a
napkin under his chin, and a carvin
knife in his hand. I smelt the dinner
as he opened the door.
Oh Mr. Merkins,' said I, 'I'm tar
nation glad to see you. I feared you
moughtn'ebe at home. I'm almost
out of breath. I'm come to tell you I
can save you a thousand dollars.'
A thousand dollars!' roared the
old man ; and I defy a weasel to go
'pop' quicker than his face berst into
smiles. 'A thonsand dollars 1 Yeou
don't say so ! du tell !'
O, said I, 4I seeyou are jist hsvin'
f dinner ndSaw. I'lleoa'n" dine my
self, and then I'll come back and tell
you all about it.'
'Nonsense,' said he, "don't go
awsy ; come In, and sit down, and en
joy yourself. like a good fellow and
have a smack with me. I'm anxious
to hear what yon have to say.'
I pretended to decline, sayin "I'd
come back ;' so I stirred up the old
chap's cariosity, and it endend by his
fairly palling me into the house, and
I made a rattling dinner of pork and
beans. I managed for some time to
dodge the main point of his inquiry.
At lastl finished eating and their was
no further cause for delay; besides
old Ben was getting fidgety.
Come, neow,' said he, 'no more
preface. About that thousand dollars ;
come, let it eont!'
'Well, I'll tell you what, you have
a darter, Misery Ann, to dispose of In
marriage, have yeou not?'
What's that got to do with it?' in
terrupted he.
Hold your proud steeds, don't
run off the track, a great deal to do
with it, said I. 'Neouw answer my
question.'
Well,' said he, Ibave.'
'And yon intend when she marries
to give her$10,000 for a portion ?'
I do.'hesaid.
Well, neouw, here's the p'int I'm
coming tew. Let me have her, and
I'll take her with $9.000 ; and 9,000
from 10,000. accordin' to simple addi
tion, jist leaTes 1,000, and that will be
clean profit sored as sfic Z3 a whU
tie!' The next thing I knew there was a
rapid interview goin' on between old
Ben's foot and my coat tails, and
I'm inclined to think the latter got
the worst of it.
People are often a little confused as
to the injunctions contained in the
several commandments. In a South
ern city notlongsinee ayounggentle
man devoted to a young lady who
didn't very warmly reciprocate his
adoration carried off her photograph
without her knowledge, a proceeding
which evoked from her a rather sharp
request for its return. This brought '
a profusely apologetic note, contain-'
ing an emphatic assurance that be
had not the slightest intention of
breaking the seventh commandment.
It is related that Bulow, while giv
ing a piano reeital in Berlin, sudden
ly stopped his playing, and, bounding
to the back of the room, began to at
tack a lady and gentleman for 'chat
tering' during the performance. A
little of this belligerency on the part
of musicians might work a needed re
form in this country. Everything
else has failed.
An Irishman remarked to his com
panion, on observing a lady pass:
Pat, did you ever see so thin a woman
as that before V 'Thin!' replied the
other; 'botherashen! Iseena woman
as thin as two of her put together, so I :
have.
'O thou invisible spirit of wine. If
thou hast no name to be known by,
let us call thee devil. &iakepeare.
rDown the Boaa.,
BT GEOEGS I CAXLCT.
A lastj- tramp, one summer day
The sun Tvas glaring fiercely down
Trudged on along the dusty way
That led towards the nearest town.
2o friendly tree Its treteome shade
Athtvart his weary pathway cast;
2to rwAMlng hraaklet leaped and played
Along tne roadside as he passed.
"Is there no shfidyjspot he cried,
"At hand to one who by him strode.
"O ! yes,' the other one replied
"A little zurther down the road."
Ah, well! we aH are tramps, at best;
"We stagger 'neath life's daily load,
Tet on we press and hope fee rest,
-A little further- down the road."
m, I GUESS HOT.
Mr. Jo Beckly stepped out on the
ample poroh of the Agricultural Club.
He looked forth with disgust upon
the dense fog in which London was
enveloned. and then eazed with de-
light upon a ticket for CaIai3 whieh
heheidin his hand.
ilr. Jo Beckly had an exceedingly
rural air. Large and brawny and
grizzled, his brown face covered with
scrubby beard, his joints all clumsily
developed, he looked like a back
woodsman
Being a bachelor, also,
his toilet lacked that adjustment
which a wifely touch or suggestion t
imparts, and intensified his rural air.
But that Mr. Beckly possessed in-1
telligence was proven by his wide-a
wake air. and by the fact that he had
broU2ht no bascacetoEurone. exceot
Ehe jiltle gatchei now depending bv a
str2D ffQm hi. mncnlar shonlder.
1 1
Tne Honorable Felix Plimpot, M.
r
F stepped out on the porch with him.
Bon wwiae. Bscklv. When von
get back to America, pray forward ns
your articles in the Spade and Ifoe,
whenever they appear.'
'Good-by Mister Plimpot.i The best
time I've bad in England I bad on
your demesne, sir ; and when the land
question comes up in Parliament
i again, 1 hopeyou'Ilsendme a epy of
your speech.'
'With pleasure, sir.'
The two shook hands heartily, and
Mr. Jo Beckly departed.
Ere he had gone half a block a
seedy gentleman In gray approached,
and slapped him familiarly on the
shoulder.
"How do ye do, Barry? When did
ye get in from Ploverton ?'
'Yoc are mistaken in yonr man, sir,'
said Beckly.
'What! Ain't this Barry Baxter?'
No sir. My name is Beckly.'
'I beg pardon. I mistook you for
Baxter same build, same whiskers.
Where are you from, sir?
I am an American.
Possible! I havea brotherin Amer-f
ica. What part are you from ?'
'Near Springfield, Massachusetts.'
'Ah, yes; my brother has been
there. Stopping In town with your
family sir?'
'With my family?' replied Mr. Jo
Beckly, a sly twinkle creeping Into
his eyes. 'Yes. My wife and the
twins are staying at the Merry-Go
Inn.'
Ah! Well, sir, if you see my
brother when you get back, please
give him my love.
And the seedy man in gray walked
away.
Mr. Beckly looked afterhim in some
surprise, then turned and went on.
Half a square beyond a voice hailed
him.
Cab, air?'
No, I'll walk,' replied Mr. Jo Beck-
iy-
The cabman dashed on, and just as
Mr. Beckly turned back his head,
somebody stumbled out of the fog
against him. It was a tall, spare man,
in clerical garb and necktie, with a
sanctimonious air.
Pray excuse me,' he exelainied.
What! is this Mr. Beekly? It cer
tainly is?'
And the spare man shook hands cor-
tdiallv with him.
Really, you have the better of me,'
said Mr. Jo Beckly, preplexed. 'I
don't recollect your name.'
Cowper, sir, Cowper! We met in
ifassachusetts some months ago, vou
remember.
Oh, did we? Where was it? at
the Horticultural meeting?' Inquired
Mr. Beckly.
He could have sworn he never met
the man before.
Yes, that was the time. How is
Mrs. Beckly, sir? and how are the
twins getting on ? I should like to
see them all. Are they in London?'
A Hwht brake over Mr. "Reeklv's I
.
face. AH uncertainty vanished.
'They are with me, Cowper, at the
Merry-Go Inn,' he said.
Ah ! glad to hear it. You are go
ing that way? I shall be pleased to
accompany you. When did you come
over ?'
Last month responded Mr. Beek-
Jy-
And the two walked on, apparent
ly full of good feeling.
I am proud to welcome yon to our
Mntinr A r? Tsrlfcot1 tn Tr f hinlr r?
Hengland, Mr. Beckly?
Well, I think itsuperior to Amer-
j ica in some respects, but I wouldn't
care to live in xnsiand. Yon are
well organized here, while America is !
still
crude ; but, after all, you have a J
great many poor people, while we
have almost none. What business
are you in, Cowper?'
stoc-raismg. x am just seung aj bousetops is quite penetrable. A po
theory of my own. I've learned in J If ceman stood below, on the opposite
what temperature cattle will fatten. I side of the street. Jo Beckley and-
.r. -. -r .... i . I
YOL. 23 NO. 43.
"'""'"".T UUm aDeC3 8 M .to
.b&.J b.uv. &x u icuicl&lblC All LUC I
year round. Don't know how 'twill
I operate. I'm in town now to sell
some cattle. By-the-way, that re
minds me where are we? Ab, this
is 2J"o. 1,111. I have an errand at 2To.
1,123. I took a lottery ticket on a
debt, and they say it's a prize number.
I'd like to step in and see if it's good
foranything. Here we are now; just
drop in a moment with me, ilr. Beck
ly.' No, thank yen,' said Mr. Jo Beck-
iy-
Oh yes, just a minute; then I'll go
on with yoa.'
Very well.'
It's op stairs, Isee. Come on, sir.'
3Ir. Jo Beckly followed him up three
Sights of stairs to a little front office,
where a clerk stood busily writing at
bis desk, behind a loo? counter.
'Good-morning. Is this the office
of the Kk Janeiro Lottery?'
It is, sir.'
I have a ticket, number 22,222.
please see if it has drawn anything.
The clerk looked into bis books.
'It has drawn seventy-five pounds,
two shillings;' and he went back to
wards his safe.
'Do you hear that, Mr. Beckly ? Do
you hear that? Luck, sir ! I only al
lowed my customer three shillings for
j the ticket.'
The clerk came back with seventy
five pounds in clean Bank of England
notes, and paid them over the count-
er
Where are the two shillings?
We never give small change, sir. I
will give you two draws instead.
Oh! All right- Here, make itj
fnnr rf,nr TToro sra turn shillincra
.w. ...-. ...
more.
A shilling a draw is cheaper than
we usual! v allow ,'excent for six draws
aC one time,' said the clerk. 'Won't
voar frj5na take a hand V
Mr. Beckly try a couple.'
No,' said Jo, '1 goess not.
'I'll give you four, then at the six
i rate, this time,' said the clerk, and he
took the money.
A drum-like box was produced.
Mr. Cowper put in his hand and
drew out four envelopes, each con
taining one tieket. He opened them,
and called off" the numbers. Three
drew nothing ; the fourth drew four
pounds, one shilling.
This is splendid luck, Beckley !'
whispered Cowper. 'Don't yon wanS
ttotrvit?'
I guess not,' said Mr. Jo Beckley.
'Gentlemen,' said the clerk, confi
dentially, Mssw a remarkable sight
here this morning. A man came in
rvA .AT-n wnrx a VirT aA nAlfnils cn? I
&UU AVC LUC t UUUUiCU SWU.fc.U.2, 4-tJ W f
drew a bushel of envelopes. Will yon
believe me there were only two
prizes among 'em ! Well, gentlemen, '
after he went away, I found that the I
Queen sent him here to try for her. I
was sorry she had such a poor pull,
but I couldn't help it; we must be
impartial, and let luck go where it
will. All the royal family patronize
us, and almost always have good lock,
And I never knew such a quantity of I
blanks drawn out without a heavy
run of prizes right afterward.'
'You're right about that!' exclaim
ed Mr. Cowper, with enthusiasm.
Beckley, we can make a fortune
here. Suppose we put in five pounds
apiece, on trial?1
'No,' said Mr. Jo Beckley, 'I guess
not.
I will, anyhow,' said Mr. Cowper
He paid the money, and drew twenty
eight pounds, sixpence.
'Luck is against me,' said the clerk,
mournfully.
There's eoin" to be
run of prizes now, sure!'
o you see that ? Do you see that,
Beckley? I tell you we can make a
fortune ! Try a five-pounder !
'No,' said Mr. Jo Beckley, 'I guess
not. Bet I tell you. Cowper, you try
two shillings for me; if it wins, I'll
pay you back.'
But if it don't !'
'Then I won't pay you anything.
Better try for yourself, sir,' said
the clerk, affably.'
'No,' said Jo, 'I guess not.'
Mr. Cowper looked at him doubt
fully. Well, I'll try for you on those
terms,' he said, at last,
drew ten pounds. Mr,
He tried and
Jo Beokley
took it, gravely, and handed out two
shiilings.
'Very much obliged, said he.
'You're welcome,' replied Cowper.
'Now let's try five pounds together.
'What did you S3y your name was?'
asked Mr. Jo Beckley.
'Cowper.'
'Cowper! Cowper! Cowper! I
thought you said Cooper. .1 guess it
wasn't me yoa met at Springfield !'
'Oh, yes, it was?
It mast have been my son James.'
'No, it was you.
'Or my son Jedediah, or Ephraim,
or Samuel.'
'No, it was yoa.'
'Well, then, if it was me good-by,
Cowper.'
The men started.
'What, sir! Surely you will try
your luck again ?' said the elerk.
'This Is not fair!' exclaimed Mr.
Cowper.
By no means! You must try, sir!'
exclaimed the clerk.
Mr. Jo Beckley retreated toward
the door. They followed him fiercely,
the clerk with oiub in hand. Mr.
Beckley looked at him, then out of an
adjacent window.
Upon the level the London fog is
dense, but looked through from the
OFTICIiXPAFEBfor TJCECdUXTS
I
Only threw Cp the broad window
Lo yon see him V he asked, point
ing toward the ofScer. I must leave
you. Pray, don.t object, or I shall
have to call him. Good-day, Cowper.'
They glanced out into the street
looked at Jo Beckleya .brawny, tons.
cular form, and kept-qniet, although,
livid with rage, as he stepped out.
In the hall, ilr. Jo Beckley looked
at the ten-pound note. To his snr.
prise, it was genuine.
He came back and opened the door,.
The two men slcod confronting each,
other, disputing angrily.
'Ah I Cowper, if you visit America
again, come and see me. We'll go-coon-hunting.
You'll enjoj coon
hunting, I know. The coon is an In
nocent-Iooking animal, Cowper, but
i he's mighty sly I'
He went down-srairs, bailed a cab,,
and wa3 whirled towardthe depot,
with a shrewd smile on his Yankee
face. Irrr Eatinr.
I wish to give your readers, says a
writer In the Txndtry World, a little
of my experience regarding egg eat
ing. I once had a very fine tet of B.
B. R. Games, and thought a great
deal of them, but after all the care I
I cave them thev were mean enough
to eat their eggs a3 soon as laid. Day
f after day I went to my coop fbr eggs,
but in vain; I did not get so much as
a sight of one. I tried almost every
thing I conld think of, bnt still in
vain. At last I thought I would
play a trick on them, so I got an egg
anc Drose tDe Eopen targe enougu
W JN OOt tne lUSWg. iDeaimiieo
up some good strong mustard and
filled it full, putting a piece of shell
over the part broken. I went to ny
coop and put the egg in the nest.
I had no sooner dropped the egg than
one of my hens boa need en it Mke a
cat on a mouse. She stuok her bill
in it and dropped the egg on She floor
(not waiting far me to retire). No
sooner did it touch the floor than the
rest of the fowls west for their share r
they got it, all of them. They soon
walked off. wiping their beaks
against everything they came across.
f Thev lefs a Iitte for manners' sake.
It resulted (the joka)in my gathering
my eggs next day, and I have not
had any occasion to repeat the ex-
penmen t.
. m i m
Learn to Thint.
Now, yonng folk. I dare say you
number among youracquainances
some heedie3 people who are forever
floundering, forgetting KitJJ making
mistakes, wholare alwaysvery sorry
after doing some silly or though tiesa
act, but why lay all the blame of it on
"I didn't think," and consider that
that settles it. But that is inst where.
all the trouble lies. If they had not
got a thinker as I knew a bright
little boy who so defines his mind,
and a veiy good definition His, too.
as a bright child's meaning of things
is apt to be it would be differ eat.
Bat tbey have machinery specially
adapted to this purpose, ye they
won't use it because it takes
a little trouble, and they want seme
body else to do their thinking for
them. Don's fellow their example;
do yonr own thinking. Throw over
"didn't "think." He is a bad fellow
to have anything to do with, and will
t be sure to make trouble for you be
fore long. If yoa want to amount to
anything in this world and I Insure
siya do you must work; and to work
efiecsively, one must think. See to.
I it, then, that you begin at once.
m
The Prosperous Farmer's Creed.
We believe InsmaM farms and ther-
ough cultivation.
That the soil loves to eat as well as
the owner, and ought, therefore, to
be well manured ;
In crops which leave land better
than they foe ad it, makiag both Uta
farm and farmer rieh at ne ;
That every farm should era a good.
farmer ;
That tha best fertilizer of any soil
is a spirit of iadstry, enterprise and
intelligence without these lime.
gypsum and gaaao wili be ef &&&
use.
In good fences, good Sarmboose3fc
good orchards, and ohUdrea eaoagh.
to gather the fruit;
In a clean kitehen, a neat wife ia
it, a clean cupboard' a eiean. dairy,
and a clean coasdeoce;
ThaLto ask a mas's ad.vice is not
stooping, bat maybeofmueh bese
fit; That is to keep a piaee aad every
thing in its place saves many a step.
and is pretty sere to lead to
tools and to keep them in order.
good
The New Haven CSwew thus de
scribes the distinetioB between the
method of Republican leadership aad
Democratic leadership: Tbe He
publican leaders adjust themselves to
the sentiment of a majority of their
voters, and the party policy is re&dMy
accepted by all. The Democratic
leaders attempt to throttle the myori
ty sentiment of their canstitueats
and frame their party potley en the
direction of a small clique ef moaopo-
Itsti
n
Don't be an editor, shrieks tha
Boston Transcript. It's alitvery weM
to say, 'don't be an edRor, bat when
a man la too honest-for aay thiajr.efee,
what is he t do?