Nebraska advertiser. (Brownville, Nemaha County, N.T. [Neb.]) 1856-1882, February 06, 1879, Image 1

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the adyertiseb
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FAIRBROTHER & HACXES,
Pmbllihni Jt Proprietors.
THE ADVERTISER.
FAIRBROTHER & a.ieEEB,
Publishers and Proprietors.
Published Every Thursday Morning
AT BRO"W2rYlIi, SEEKASEA.
TEltalS, TS ADVANCE s
On espy. 9aa year
One espF, tz maette .
.S2 GO
. 100
lne see?, tfcree seetha.
jsy K paper seat tea foe &3eeantti patf t.T.
EEADISG HATTER OXEYERYPAGE :
ArrnoEizED ni" the t. s- GdvnHiXEfT.
aliona
O F-
BROW3NTTX.IjE.
Paid-iup Capital, $50,000
Authovizad " 5003000
IS P2EPAXED TO TEASSACT A
General Banking Business
BCT A2T 5EIX.
OOnr k GURESNOY DBAPTS
ch ail ike priadal cities of the
XTnited States and Europe
kONEY LOANED
rHMrTeiecarttyJT. Time Drafts dlsceant
ed. & wal acemmdfaerated M deponit
rs. Dealer la OOVEEX3CEXT BOXBS.
STATE, COUNTY & CITY SECURITIES
DBPOSITS
Revt iiyM w 4-HM.iwt. aa IXTEEEST al
Mre4 Ha? oertMeateu c tepest.
MRBCTOSS. Wm.T. Pi. B. ir. BaHey. 3f.A
Ifaadfcsr. Frafc E. JfeBea. Lather Haadley
Wsa. Frar.
JOHN L. CAESOX,
A . H. A VIRO :r . Cakter. President.
J. JferAUCKTOK. Aiac Cashier.
mum
Meat Market,
BODY&3BO.
JZUTCHEES,
BR01Y-VriL,IiE, XEBRASSA.
Good, Sweet, Presli Meat
Always oa hosd, sad swtisfectkm gtxar
ant1oKa till easterners.
JH. BAITER
aCaMftrctaree jwt Dgaloris
Slauiots, 3miies,ny Nets, zc.
S3" KepairlBj: done on hort notice. The cele
brated Tacwani Oil Btacfcinc. for preserriag Har-neB-ots,intsTsax.u-s3a
Siand.
6-1 3Iain St, BrownvIIIe, Xeb.
BROWXTILLE
Ff,rzy and Tranfers
COJSHPIsY.
Havlne a r eass Steara Ferrr. aad trains
aad eaatrattrr tie Traasfer iiae rram
BR01FXYILI.E TO PDELPS.
re are prepared to reader entire satisfaction in t
trmfcT rfTmstt aad Passengers. We ran a
regatorUseet
t ail trains. Al orders left at the Traasfer Com
posy's office vrHlreeeiveprinptattentioc.
"- J. 3ofield, Gen. SirpL
Undertaker
Keeps afallUaeot
8URULCISES&CASKETS
Ornamented and Plain.
Also Shrouds lor men. Iad!s and Infants.
All orders lea -Ith Hike Feltnonser will
receive prompt attention.
M3" BodlesPreserved and Embalmed.
50 Xain Street, BROTYTILLE3:?EIJ.
First N
IBank
Pgeig-: lfl8 if en
I I
- -. liSUBCjL. AV
ESTABLISHZD 1S56.
Oldest Paper in tie State.
EDITCATIOU.
A Dialogue on That Topic.
Detroit Free Press.
"Xovr, Children, you have told me
how many members we have in the
legislature, who presides over each
body, how laws are made, and how
often a United States senator is elect
ed, and in return I wili "
I had reached this point the other
evening when there came a ring at the
door-bell, and after a minute I discov
ered that Mr. Old Fogy had decided
on another attack. He meant to give i
me fit this time. He brought along
two or three teachers with him, and
they at once walked into my school
room. 1 did at first have a sign of
"State Prison" over the door, so as to
make it seem like a regular school
bouse to.the pupils, but, as they in
sisted upon regarding It as a novelty,
I removed the sign.
"Well, you have been teaching, I
see ?"' observed ilr. Old Fogy.
"Yes, six of these chiidren belong
in the neighborhood, and don't at
tend any regular school.'
"We don't exactly agree on the
school question, yon know!" said
Mr. Old Fogy. "You did ratherstump
me the other night, but I'd like you
to ask some of these teachers a few
questions.
"Very well, Mr. Blank, how many
bushels of wheat will make a barrel
of flour?"
"Why, that isn't a regular ques
tion," he replied as-he looked around.
I "Isn't it? Your arithmetio says
Ithat gfrtv Bound" Of Wheat make a
W , -- - .
bushel, and because it does not say
how many bushela make a barrel of
flour, the farmer who is figuring on
his year's supply must be left in igno
rance. Here is Charlie only nine
years old he may answer."
"Now Mr. Blank, can you name
the more prominent stars?"
"I can, sir."
"I thought so, but can you tell me
how many spokes there are In the
front wheel of a buggy can any of
you?"
"I protest!" cried Mx. Old Fogy,
but tbey didn't answer for all that.
"Well, Mr. Blank, can you trans
late Latin ?'
"I can sir."
"Xo doubt of It; but can you tell
tne how to preserve cider?"
-There yoo'go fij-Win'f" cried Mr.
Old Fogy, but none of them could
tell.
"Are you familiar with cube-root,
Mr. Blank?"
"lam."
"But can yon tell me the salary of
our Governor?"
None of tbem conld.
"Try gome of the ladies," suggested
Mr. Old Fogy, after a few more ques
tions. "All right. Miss Blank, are you
good In algebra?"
"I think so."
"And can you tell me how many
yards of cottou to buy for a pair of
pillow slips?"
"Why, no."
"Do you know what will take stains
out of a table cloth or grease spots out
of a carpet?"
"No. sir."
"Can you mix a mustard plaster,
tell me a ready family antidote for
poison, suggest a family remedy for a
cold or sore throat, tell me how many
yards in a bunch of dress braid, the
number of yards of ticking to make
a bed tick, a way to remove paint from
windows, or how to make gruel for
the sick?"
"No, sir."
What are yon driving at?" Indig
nantly demanded Mr. Old Fogy.
"I'll let my classlgo and tell you.
Let me first remark that I haven't
asked aquestlon which these children
here can't answer. This little girl
will probably answer everything I
have asked MissJBIank, and yet she
Is not ten yeare old. A month ago I
told her that alum and brown sugar
' mixed together would relieve croup.
A week ago, at dead of night, roused
from sleep by her parents and the
wails of her sick brother, she prepar
ed the remedy while her father was
after the doctor and her mother was
.excited and helpless, and in half an
J hour the croup was gone. Y'ou ask
me what I am driving at? Women
are called helpless, and we do not look
to see them have presence of mind.
Why are tbey so? Simply because
they may know algebra by heart, and
yet not know what is an antidote for
almost every poison. They learn as
tronomy, and yet don't know what is
good for a burn, or how to stop the
nose bleed. They know all about
botany, and yet cannot tell what to
do for a person who has fainted away.
"Bat I'm not a housekeeper," pro
tested Miss Blank.
"No; well, every woman looks for
ward to marriage; they were born to.
Every female expects to marry rich,
but not one in five hundred can so
marry as to throw the entire respon
sibility of her house on hired help.
Six out 6i ten may have a .servant,
but, unless the mistress knows how
things should go, what can be expect
ed of the girl? As the lady sits in
; the parlor and realizes that she can
draw, play the piano, read French, the
i help, left to experiment and haviner
no Interest, breaks, smashes, and
throws away, and the family are soon
looking for a cheaper house. Miss
Blank here may marry and never lift
j a hand, but if she knew every duty
if she knew remedies and receipts
wouldn't she have more self-reliance
and b better prepared for the respon-elbilitiea.
"Can yon name any married lady
in Detroit who makes use of algebra?
Can you name one who is ever incon
venienced for the want of a knowl
edge of geometery ? Do yon know of
one who wouldn't trade off all her
Latin for a care for corns ?
Mr. Old Fogy said that he thought
it looked as if we would soon have a
snow storm.
Then take the other side. We do
not teach our boys to be abserving,
and then we turn around and call
them heedless. We pass the things
of everyday life to let them grasp at
the theoretical ; tbey thus become
helpless; they can name the planets,
but they cannot tell the size of a brick;
tbey can name every ancient philoso
pher, but can't put up the stove-pipe;
they can figure in cube root, but they
can't tell all wool cloth from half cot
ton. We let them attend school for
years, are proud to find that they
know so much, and then discover
that they can't tell why hickory wood
will burn longer than pine, and we
bear somebody say of them-: 'He has
a fine education, bnt no horse sense.' "
Mr. Old Fogy mentioned that it was
getting very late.
"Now, then, some of you tell me of
a business man who has made his
money through a classical education.
Tell me one lawyer who wins by
flowery speeches and I'll name yon a
dozen who win by arguments which
even boys can digest. Name a mer
chant who buys at random, as we ed
ucate children, and I will name the
day of his failure. Name one who
jean tell you how to saw out a boot-
I infc- hnfM nn ip.hnT nnrinnon
. - , .- .. -W ., f, ... . .. U..UW
1 of glass, mix paint, or hang a gate,
and I'll show you that he is doing a
(safe business, dictated by .observation
and common sense. Last year a gen
tleman with a fine collegiate educa
tion opened a grocery store on a cer
tain street in this city, asking no ad
vice &3 to location and making no
observations on the movements of
the public. He had got nicely opened
when a bootblack called in one day
and bluntly asked :
"Gimmea cent's worth of peanut3."
"Peanuts! Boy, I don't keep a pea
nut stand I" was the indignant reply.
"You won't keep even a peanut
stand here two months from now !"
chuckled the lad, as he lounged out.
In five weeks there was a failure,
and the grocer was $3,000 cash out of
pocket in seven week's time. The ob
serving boy knew that store was too
far down-town, because he had watch
ed the movements of the people who
bought at retail. The grocer had
been at Yale college, and he didn't
deem it necessary to know a lamp
post from a salt barrel in order to es
tablish a trade.
The other day a lady, who can
speak several languages, and who
graduated with high honors at Vassar,
wanted some mince pies made and
put away for New Year's. Neither
of her servant girls knew how to
make them, and so the lady went out
among her neighbors. She tried to
remember what they told her, but her
pies were made without sugar or salt,
and with only one crust. When told
why "they tasted like bass wood
chips'' she burst into tears and sob
bed outr
"They educated me to be an idiot
Instead of a woman?"
The Eoads of Ireland.
The public roads of Ireland are ab
solutely perfect. Go where yoa will
through the rural districts, and the
roads are thoroughly turnpiked,
thoroughly drained and as level as a
board. The bridges over the creeks
and rivers are all of stone. Every
road has a sidewalk for foot-passengers
elevated about six inches above
the main road, and from four to six
feet wide. The fences on either side
are of solid stone masonry, to the
bight of from four to six feet, upon
the top of which are growing hedges
of hawthorn or furze, or grass and
wallflowers. The walls inclosing the
roads are festooned with ivy and wild
i flowers, producing a charming effect.
Every country seat is thU3 "hedged
in" from the outside world. There Is
no getting over the barrier, and access
can only be had through the lodge
gates, which are in charge of the
lodge-keeper, generally a woman,
who admits only a favored few. The
constabulary are always on hand to
arrest trespassers. "Tramps" have a
poor show in Ireland. They must
keep the roads, or go to jail. Corres
pondent Reading Times.
Duping the Negroes.
uN umbers of negroes have left for
Elansas, and more declare they intend
to leave as soon as navigation is open
up the Mississippi and Missouri riv
ers. Secret agents have worked up
the scheme, by declaring that they
are employed by the government,
and that all the colored emigrants
will be given homes, allowed to estab
lish local government for themselves,
free from white molestation, etc An
intelligent planter informs us that
his plantations have been nearly de
populated by these silly misrepresen
tations. It is the same old story of
forty acres and a mule. Ttcksburg
(JUss.) Serrxld.
Slarjr had a little lamp
Filled full of kerosene ;
Bne took It once to light the fire.
And has not since benzine.
Exchange.
The California Chinese have two
newspapers.
BEOWNYILLE, KEBEASKA,
THE TYIXE-CUP.
by coi.. torxey.
President and Mrs. Hayes continue
to exclude wine from their table in
the White House. Mr. Evarts, the
Secretary of State, has secured an ex
ception to this rule at the diplomatic
dinners, although Mr. and Mrs. Hayes
will preside without glasses before
them.
The French statesmen nse wine
moderately, and spirits almost never.
They prefer their own light wines,
leaving champagne to the last; and
nearly all their public dinners are fin
ished without speeches.
The cultivated English are farmore
temperate than in former days. At
state dinners, which are costly and
luxurious, the Ministry are proverbi
ally frugal, though Lord Derby, the
late chief of the Foreign Office, was
Inordinately fond of sherry. Nobody
smokes in a private house, unless it is
in the billiard room. But the English
club-men are geneially hearty drink
ers. There are over seventy clubs in
London alone. Gambling is not as
common as it was in the days of
Charles James Fox, who often lost
1,000 a night while in the zenith of
his Parliamentary fame, and thought
nothing of it. The Raleigh in the
Pall Mall is still believed to indulge
in cards for money, but modern John
Bull prefers whist, brandy and soda,
and hot Scotch or Iri3h whisky. Ex
cessive dissipation is confined to the
London gin palaces, which abound in
frightful proportion, where men and
women drink fire-water and bad beer
till they are sodden ; and it Is no In
frequent (sight to see a child made
stupid by the milk of a drunken
mother.
But the Bussians bear the palm.
They purchase most of the costly
French champagnes, and they prefer
"a mixed drink" of their own a fear
ful compound after dinner, which is
something like the English claret
cup, that Charles Dickens loved to
"compose," with fiery liquids added.
President and Mra. Hayes are not
altogether alone. They are doubtless
more rigid than other rulers; but
Queen Victoria is a model of her own
house, like the good Prince Albert,
and I happen to know that Gambetta,
Laboulaye, Leon Say, Louis Blane,
"7inlar TTilJoHe-Ocli-aiic PtuioesB04
the Bourbon pretenders are moderate
and careful men ; and it is but just to
say the Bame of the Emperor.of Ger
many, the Russian Czar, the young
King of Italy and the widower mon
arch of Spain.
Garrit Smith, who died at a great
age (7S I think), sat In Congress two
years, from 1S53 to 1855, and was one
of the most genial, generous and hos
pitable of men. He gave many splen
did entertainments, and never had a
drop of wine on his table. The jolly
men were much amazed at his course,
but he never apologized for it.
My other good friend, Horace Gree
ley, when he became a candidate for
President in 1872, was an extreme
temperance leader, as pure as cool wa
ter, even in his blunders, but as much
tout of place as -a Presidential nominee
as Bishop Simpson in the Vatican.
After he agreed to stand for that high
office, Southern politicians called on
him at Chappaqua, his country seat
on the Harlem road, and he benevo
lently asked thetn to drink from his
famous spring. They were surprised,
but submissive, until he offered them
a second draught, at which Gov. ,
of Louisiana, somewhat testily de
clined, with the remark, "That that
was a beverage he never internally
applied." The legend runs that when
the party left the white-haired editor
the Governor sadly observed that he
had to drink several cocktails to keep
the nomination down.
Geese, or Gooses I
The particular kind jof smoothing
iron known among tailors as a goose
came near upsetting the reason of a
Chicago tailoring establishment the
other day.
The manager wanted two of the in
struments mentioned, and so told the
clerk, but after the latter had sat for!
some time writing on the order, he
looked up in a bewildered way, and
asked:
"What do you call the plural of tai
lor's goose ?"
"Why, geese is plural for goose,"
said the master.
"Well, you wouldn't have me write
an order for two tailor's geeae, would
you?"
"Thatdoesn't sound hardly sensi
ble in this connection," replied the
proprietor; "how would it do to say
'two tailor's gooses V "
The boy turned to the dictionary,
and shaking his head, remarked :
"Webster doesn't give any such plu
ral to goose, and I ain't going to."
The situation was growing serious.
when the clerk suddenly set to wri
ting, with the exclamation, "Now I'll
fix it!"
And the order which he soon hand
ed to the head of the house to sign
did fix it, for it read :
"Messrs. Brown & Co., hardware
dealers, Fifth Avenue : Please send
me one tailor's goose, and send me
another one just like it."
But the question of what is the plu
ral or tailor's goose has not yet been
settled.
- 3.
A Washington court has decided
that funeral expenses are to be regard
ded as preerred claims against the
estate of the deeeased.
THURSDAY, FEBBUABY 6, 18T9.
Paraii tie Cause ofLiilnecza.
Dr. J. H. Salisbury, of Cleveland,
Ohio, who has already attained notor
ity as the claimant of the discovery of
the germ source of malarial diseases,
now becomes again prominent in med
ical. literature through his alleged dis
covery of a peculiar microscopic or
ganism always present in the acute
catarrhal attacks usually called influ
enza or catarrhal fever. This peculiar
little creatnre the doctor believes to be
the cause of diseases of this class, in
cluding cases In which whooping
cough, occurs a second time.
Dr. Salisbury claims to have exam
ined and treated more than 1,000 cases
of this form of diseases, to which he
has given the name "infusorial Jca
tarrh." Most of these cases are usu
ally considered as cold3. The disease
begins in the nostrils, befng accom
panied by great irritation of the nasal
cavity and also of the eyes. Jt ex
tends downward to the throat, and fin
ally into the- lungs, inducing violent
coughs, and even asthmatic attacks.
Dr. Salisbury employs as appropri
ate remedies for these cases such agents
as are well known to be destructive to
infusorial life. A saturated solution
of Balicylio acid with borax is an ex
cellent local remedy. It may be used
as a gargle, diluted as a nasal douche,
or inhaled as a spray.
The air is more or less ".filled with
germs of these minute parasites, and
drinking water often contains tbem
in abundance, especially such as are
contaminated by even a trace of or
ganic matter, so that the cause of these
affections Is sufficiently common to
accoant for their frequency. Good
Medtih.
f The Apple in the Bottle.
Online manUlpiece of my grand
mother's best parlor, among other
marvol3, was an apple in a vial. It
quite-filled up the bottle. Childish
wonderment constantly was, "How
could it have got there?" By stealth
I climbed a chair to see if the bottle
would unscrew, or if there had been a
joint: in the glas3 throughout the
length of the vial. I was satisfied by
careful observation that neither of
these theories could be supported ;
and the apple remained to me an en-
igmalfand a mystery--catrtfay
-wBitnig in a garden, I saw
It alL. There, on a tree, was a vial
tied, and within it a tiny apple, which
was growing within the crystal. The
apple was put into the bottle while it
was little, and it grew there.
More than thirty years ago we tried
this experiment with a cucumber We
laid a bottle upon the ground by a
hill of cucumbers, and placed a tiny
cucumber in the bottle to see what
would be the result. It grew till it
filled the bottle, when we cut it off
from the stem, and then filled the
bottle with alcohol and' corked it up
tight. We have it now, all a3 fresh,
with the little prickers on it, as.it was
when first corked up. Exchange.
A doclor who had one day allowed
himself to drink too much was sent
for to see a fashionable lady who was
ailing. He sat down by the bed side,
took out his watch, and began to
count her pulse as well as his obfusti
cated condition would permit. He
counted: "One, two, three, four."
Still confused, he began again: "One,
two," No, he could not do It. Thor
oughly ashamed of himself, he shut
up his watch, muttering, "Tipsy, I
declare tipsy! "
Staggering to his feet, he told the
lady to keep her bed, and take some
hot lemonade to throw her into a per
spiration, and lie would see her next
day. In the morning he received the
following note from the lady, marked
"Private:"
"Dear Doctor Ton were right. I
dare not deny it. But lam thorough
ly ashamed of myself, and will be
more careful for the future. Please
accept the enclosed fee for your visit"
(a $10 note) "and do not, I entreat
you, breathe a word about the state
in which you found me."
The lady, in fact, had herself been
drinking too much, and, catching the
doctor's murmured words, thought
they referred to her. He was too far
gone to see what was the matter with
his patient, and she too far to observe
that the doctor was in the same condi
tion. TTearins: Flannel.
Put it on at once. Winter or sum
mer, nothing better can be worn next
the skin than a loose, red woolen flan
nel shirt ; "loose," for it ha3 room to
move on the skin, thus causing a tit
ilation which draws the blood to the
surface and keeps it there; and when
that is the case, no one can take cold ;
"red," for white flannel fulls up, mats
up and becomes tight, stiff, heavy and
impervious; woolen," the product of
sheep and not of a gentleman of color,
not of cotton wool, because that mere
ly absorbs the moisture from the sur
face, while woolen flannel conveys It
from the skin and deposits it in drops
on the outside of the shirt, from which
the ordinary cotton shirt absorbs it,
and, by it3 nearer exposure to the ex
terior air, it is soon dried without in-
jury to the body. Having these prop-
erties. red woolen flannel is worn by
sailors even in the midsummer of the
UUCt UUtilCa. al HMUM
material In summer.
It is asserted that women can. bear
want of sleep batter than men.
FaMes And Anecdotes,
BTUXTT.R JOHXKY.
TJncleNed, hesed: 'Johnny, you
kanow ol a bowt Santy Cloz, and
Crismics trees, and hangin up yure
stockns, and pertiokler you kanow a
bowt terkys and pndns, and sech nol
lidge is mighty valible, but, Johnny,
tween you an me, can yoa tel me wot
i3 Cr is miss?'
Then I spoke np real quick an sed :
'Bet yure life I can V
Then Uncle Ned he looked at me
long-time out of his eyes, like preech
er's eyes, and sed: 'Johnny, the
xpression wich you have preferd for
to use in thisconnecksn is a strongn
for a little feller, butlspoae you can
justify it by yure anser. Now wot is
Crismis3 V
Then Tsed : "It3 the day wen Cris
aifer Clumbus got lick like smoke by
GenI Washnton, ten million hundred
thousen'Brittishers a wollern in their
gore, and ole King George a bustin
thru the brush like zebriea for to safe
hisself, and John Maccoom aslottem
fokes offle, hooray!"
And wen I had sed it I was so xcit
ed I fel over Mose, which is the cat,
and Bildad, that's the new dog, snook
under the stofe and burnt the hair ol
off the spine of his back, and yeld
like Injuns!
Then Uncle Ned he luked astonish
a wile, and then he blode bis nose,
and then he sed a other time: 'John
ny, yure Uncle Edard has been in In-
jy and evry were, and he has worship
the deeties of ol nations, from the sa
crid cracky dile of Egip to the silver
doller of the hethen Madgigaskera.
He is a pious man in ten langwages,
and can keep the stopper in his tem
per wen the mometeriStans at a hun
drd In the shade of a Ice house, but,
Johnny, I'me golly be gum dasted to
slipery ellum if yoa aint the dum
bustedest mulligaloot on this side of
ole Gaffer Peterses new barn !'
Wen I a3t Uncle Ned wot was mul
ligaloot, "he jest smiled sweet like he
was siok to his stummick ake, and
sed, Uncle Ned did: "Johnny, I
was only tryne to say in broken Pat
tigonian that if yon was beln xamin
ed for to teech error to the ignorant,
and if you had been giv the questions
and ansers forehand, you wud get a
first arada atifllket slick like a wis
sle!" But wen it comes to wissles I can
make em out of wilier, and Billy,
that's my brother Billy, he can do it
in his 2 fingers, loud like a engine.
My mother she has tole me wot Cria
miss is but I cant tel you, cos its got
swearin in it.
Las time it was Crismiss I had a lit
tle picture card giv me, and it sed on
it in poetry :
"CrlstiaB comes bet once a year i
But tren It comes ! brings geod cheer.
And Missis Doopy, which has got
the red hed, like a house a fire, she
was to oar nouse, and she makes po
etry, too, so she sed : "Johnny, He
finish this verse for you an make it
jest nice." So Missis Doopy she rote
be lo the other poetry.
"And when the cheer is brocght and set in
It leeches os Criamtsalst a day- for to fret In."
Wude peckers has rsd heds, too, and
tungs, pinted like a fish hake, and
one time a wude pecker had made a
hole in a log and seen a werm in the
bottom of the hole, like down a wel.
So the wude pecker he put his tung in
a little way, and the werm it luked
up and sed : "If yure a goin a flshn
wy dont you thro in yure line were
there is sum woter ?"
Then the wude pecker it sed : "That
is wot I wos jest thinkin my own sel
lefr but I gess I better put some bate
on.'
Sometimes it rains werms, and then
the fishes is jest diited, same as me
and Billy wude be If it wude rain
fishes, and I ge3 the liens and tigers
wude be tickled if it would rain me
and Billy.
Once there was a fish, and it sed to
a other fish : "It looks mity black
this mormin, like it was goin for to be
a shour, we better go under the bank
or we will git wet."
Then the other fish hesed: "Les
wait a wile and see wether Its agoin to
be drink or wittles."
Jest then there was a red werm
cam dow, and the fish which had
spoke last he hollered : "Hooray! I
I tole yoa so, here goes for the first
drop!"
So he snacht the werm, bat it was
unto a hook, and he was cot, the fish
was. Then the other feller he shuke
his head and swimb away, a sayn to
hisself: "I notice that dinners wich
is sent from Heaven ol ways begins
with soop."
Bat my father he says : "Te3, and
the soop is follered by fish." But a
nice Crismiss terky is hi upper than a
hock. One time Mary, thats the
house maid, she seen a hock sailin
roun and roan, up, up hire than steep
les, and sed : "Wot keep3 it up ?"
Then my father he'sed : "Mary,
the sientiffical expination is that
hocks is supported by the air."
But Uncle Ned bespoke n p and sed,
"Mebby so but the populer bleef is
that they are supported by spring
I chickens and hop todes.'"
Hop todes is mity good for worts if
you let em alone, and ole Gaffer Pet-
, ru hp h,ia irnt n h?c nno nr fits nnao
Qlft Qaffer faa3 & which w&s
j a fce Jack Bri, and the
de and n and
gQfc married, QQe time fae rote tQ Qle
-. i . .u i.. . rt.
er for to be giv him, but my father he
iopened it his ownself, cos he thot it
was hisn. The letter it had a photy
VOL. 23 NO. 33.
grap in it, ann thephoty grap was ole
Gaffers gran son, which hi3 father,
thats ole Gaffers boy, rote was a fine
feller and luked mity like the ole Gaf
fer. But my eisters young man he
snook out the pboty grap, and put a
otherin, wich was a man wich bad a
bed like a jackous. My fatherhe did
ent kanow, and be giv the letter to
ole Gaffer, wich Inked at the picter
and then red the letter carefie, and
then tbot ajwile, reel solium, and then
he sed : "When a young-feller makes
a fule of hissef, and gits married to a
wild Spannerd, his boys dont look like
fokes one bit."
But my father he sed : " Wy, Gaf
fer, I never seen sech a Iikenis to you
as that picter."
Then Gaffer he put his speotticles
on, and luked at it a other timer reel
long and then he shuk his hed agin
and sed: "Wei, wel, wel, ole age is
onnable, but it makes a feller lake
like a dam rabbit !" Argonaut.
Hereditary Effects of Aleohol.
Respecting their opinions of alcohol
there are distinctly two classes of
physicians. One class regards it as
one of the most important and almost
indispensable of remedies ; while the
other regards it as a powerful drug to
be used only with the greatest cau
tion, and avoided whenever it can be.
To the latter class belongs Dr. Will
ard Parker, one of the most noted sur
geons of New York City, who Is the
author of the following excellent par
agraphs, on the hereditary effects of
alcohol:
"The hereditary ""influence of alco
hol manifests itself in various ways-
It transmits an appetite for strong
drink to.children, and these are likely
to have that form of drunkenness
which may be termed paroxysmal ;
that i3, they will go for a considerable
period without indulging, placing re
straints upon themselves, but at last
all the barriers of self-control give!
way ; they yield to theirresistable ap
petite, and then their Indulgence is
extreme. The drunkard by inheri
tance is a more helpless slave than
his progenitor, and the children that
he begets are more helpless still, un
less on the mother's side there is en
grafted upon them untainted stock.
But it3 hereditary influence is "not
confined to the propagation of drunk
ards. It produces insanity. Idiocy,
epilepsy, and other affections of the
brain and nervous system, not only
in the transgressor himself, but in
his children, and these will trans
mit predisposition to any of these
diseases.
Pritchard and Esquirol, two great
authorities upon tbesubject, attribute
half of the cases of insanity In Eng
land to the use of alcohol. Dr. Ben
jamin Rush believed that one third
of the cases of insanity in this coun
try were caused by intemperance, and
this was long before Its hereditary po
tency was adequately appreciated.
Dr. S. G. Howe attributed one-half of
the cases of idiocy in the State of
Massachussetts to intemperance, and
i he is sustained in his opinion by the
mnaf ?otiHTa onfhnri Mca Tlr TTnwtt1
, . .. w. " .1. . .
states that there were seven idiots In
one family where both parents were
drunkards. One-half of the idiots in
England are of drunken parentage,
and the same is true of Sweden, and
probably of most European coun
tries. It Is said that In St. Petersburg
most of the idiots come from drenken
parents.
When alcoholism does not produce
insanity, idiocy, or epilepsy, it weak
ens the conscience, impairs the will,
and makes the individual the creature
of impulse and not of reason. Dr.
Carpenter regards it a3 more potent
in weakening the will and arousing
the more violent passions than any
other agent, and thinks it not im
probable that the habitual use of al
coholic beverages, which are produe-
ed in such great quantities in civilized
countries, has been one great cause of
the hereditary tendency to insanity."
Pat on the Boad;
An Irishman, driven to desperation
by the stringency of the money mar-
I ket and the high price of provisions.
procured a pistol and took to the road.
Meeting a traveler, he stopped him
with:
'Your money or your life !"
Seeing Pat was green at the busi
ness, the traveler said :
"I'll tell yoa what I'll do? I'll give
you all my money for that pistol."
"Agreed."
Pat received the money and handed
over the pistol.
"Now," said the traveler, "hand
back that money or I'll blow yoar
brains out-"
Blaze away, my hearty,11 said Pat,
"never a dhrop of powder Is there in
it."
General Bragg'sspeech against rebel
claims reminds the New York Sun of
the story of a worthy colored divine
down South, who, being invited to
preach to a neighboring pastor's flock,
held forth on the sin of theft. As he
warmed in his discourse he admon
ished hi3 dusky hearers that even pet
ty thieving, the pillage of a hen
roost, or the conveying of a side of
bacon, was incompatible with true
religion. At this point a white-hair-
ed deacon
twitched his coat-tall:
"Hold on
dar, brudder; you J3
i tbrowin' a coldness over de meetin'."
The Sun is free to say that Bragg' The manager of the academy of m0.
threw a coldness over the Democratic sic, in Pittsburg, has posted the fol.
camp, that must call out a protest lowing notice in the green-room -.
from those who best understand the "Any voealwt, mala or female, at
weakness of the Southern brethren. I remntlnsr to sine: 'BabvMine wfi'i ?
1 Itxicr Onan.
ADTESTISIXG KATES.
Oaeiaca.one t-
Each snejecOine inch, per year
One Inch, per inawti
5 94
ICQ
Each adAt&mut :nihr-uy mnwin SI
Ial advertisements altera! rales-Besqcar.
iCHses&f yeparejl.orlesflrstbisentoa njo.
eaen SBbseqattBtbuextteaSGc
Jty AB traBateatadrartwT: aata mast be p&liS
ferls advaac.
OFFICIAL PAPEBf.OF THEC8U3 TT
To Mate the Hens lax
Prairie Farmer.
It is a good deal easier to have re3h
eggs for winter than It Is- ttdo with
out tbem. But don't expect your hens
to lay when you compelthem to roosS
in the tree tops, on the fence or in an.
open shed" during the entire winter.
It will take every particle of food that
the fowls can get to maintain animal
heat enough to keep from freezing to
death. Go to work and fix up your
henhouse so that it will-be comfortable;
don't imagine that any oia rickety
building, where the wind and rain,
can get through almost anywhere
will do for yoar fowls, that is, if you
expect them to pay for the cost of
keepings Don't you know that your
fowls will consume one-fourth less
food If provided with comfortable
quarters ?
The next thing in order Is proper
food and regular feeding houra. Ona
half of our farmers feed their hens
all the corn they will eat through the
winter, and then growl because they
eat so much and do not "shell out"
the egg3 In return. Ton mnat feed
your hens early in the morning, notirr
the middle of the forenoon. Hens
are early risere, and don't like; stand
ing round on one foot waiting for their
breakfast any better than you would.
The morning meal is the most impor
tant one of the day ; the hens are cold
and hungry, and for that reason give
them some kind of warm cooked food.
Fowls will eat almost anything If It
Is served up right; boiled potatoes,
turnips, carrots, anything In the veg
etable line, mixed with corn- meal,
oatmeal or bran and shorts, seasoned
with pepper and salt, and fed warm,
will make any well regulated hen
cackle with satisfaction. Feed a few
handfuls of wheat or buckwheat
screenings at noon, and at night give
a liberal feed of whole grain of some
kind. Fowls must have some kind of green
food during the winter months. Ap
ples, carrots, potatoes, turnips, cab
bages and onions chopped fine and
fed raw two or three times a week
will be greedily devoured by bens
who desire to fulfil theft: mission In
life. As long as the mureury keeps
away from freezing point, fc la a good
plan to tie up a head of cabbage where
the fowls can reach it, and let them
help themselves.
If you have plenty of milk, sweet
orsour, or buttermilk, give your fowls
all tbey will drink it will supply the
place of the insect food that they get
In summer. If yon cannct get milk,
you must give them plenty of pure
water, and also manage to give an oc
casional feed of meat. "When but
few fowls are kept, the scraps from
the table will be sufficient, but when
large numbers are kept, get some re
fuse meat from the bstcner, cook it
and do not feed too much or too often.
A small allowance twice a week will
do. "A good deal of trouble for a
few eggs." Tea, it is some trouble,
but I never expect to get anything in
this world without trouble of some
f kind, and then most of us are willing
I to take a little pains when there fa
. -
Luuuev iu it
I have more to say on this sudject
but this will do for one week. I do
not want to tell yoa of so much to do
that you will be discouraged to begin
with ; what I have told yoa here is
worth all yoa will pay for the Prairie
JParmsr for another year. I know,, I
have tried It. FaxxyFiboj.
The &tf-ap Uool
Every one who takes a newspaper
which he in the least degree appreci
ates will often regret to see asy one
number which contains some isterest
isg and importaDt articles thrown
aside for waste paper. A good way to
preserve these is by the nee of a serap
book. One who has never been ac
customed thns to preserve short arti
cles can hardly realize the pleasure it
affords to sit down and turn over the
pleasant, familiar pages. Here a
piece of poetry meets the eye, which
yoa would longsinee have kat had ii
not been for our scrap book ; there te
a witty anecdote It does yoa good to.
laugh over it yet, although it may be
for the twentieth time ; fiext Is a val
uable receipt yoa had almost forgot
ten, and whicbyou found just In time
to save much perplexity ; there la &
sweet little story, the memory of
which has cheered and encouraged.
J you when, almost read j to despair un
der the pressure of life's cares. In-.,
deed you can hardly take up a single
paper without reperusingw Then
hoard with care, the precious gems,
and see at the end of the year what a
rich treasure yoa will have accuma
lated. Girls, if you want to eneoorage
young men, get an album. It's the
first thing a bashful young man grabs
when he enters a3trangehouse where
there are girls. We've seen them look
through one until they knew crazy
picture by heart, from page one to
Gen. Grant in the back part. It's
wonderful what interest a bashfal
man will take in a girl's grandmother
and pug-nosed uncle, at the first visit,
but it's always so. Get 'em. eirls. It's
i the best thing in the world to occupy
j 3 fellow's hands, and its a sore eara
forbashfciness. PA2ffefeAi v.
fcfe.
, killed at the end of the first verse "