tawippPFaV"1 V & Tj.au, -pj rtl1ijlljpi-rw'm THE ADVERTISER. ,, -- . - Published every Thursday by CAJPJ?IIBY 0 HACKER, Proprietors. THE ADVERTISER, ADVERTISING RATES. Halt Inch. OTJCC Xo.T-J McPhcrson' Block, npStairs, BROtt'NVILLE, NEBRASKA. ?I.C0 JL50 2jOQ, fiSQ ?30,f5.00' J S.tO 1.50 2.50 l.OO 3.50' S.COJ 7.0O Ifl.eQ ZHO' 3JO- 4.00 5.00 7.00 10.00 .e T.00 4.00 "Ulrt 8.00 10.00 15.60 .0"0 5.00 S.00 18.00 12.00 K00 23.00 40.&0. !.00 Kffl 15.00 W.TO 25lOO 40.00 60.6f 15.00 aa.oo S5.QQ 30.00 43.00 6oj ico.ee Onelnch. Twolnchi Three Inches Six Inches Twelve inches. Onecolnron Terras, in A-Jvanco : One copy, tune year S2 00 . 1 00 50 space. H 5 55 ;g5 S2 Lesraladvertisement atlegAl rates: Oaesqtinre (eight line of Aeateiace, or le.) Hx?t Insejtion' flv: eachsubeqnentliwrt!oti.50c ffarAU trnnsclent advertisements mort be pais fori n advance j - v o-e copy. six months 03 cry. three months.- or. i nn-C AT TTT?TI H kVEKY PAGT" I!. I. U' -" -' ' - -' " " ' ' BUSINESS CARDS. ATTORNEYS. .T. II. liroady, 1 TTnP.NnY ANIj COUNS-ELOP. AT UW.- (j -e over State 15ank, llrownvlll' .Net). K. W. Tliouinb, 1 TTOHNEY AT LAW.-Oir.ce. front room over -- ft awn &. Cross's Hardware fetore, Browu- Sidney Erencli, 1 TT'Jk TT'jr.VEV AND -OUNsKLOrt AT LAW. iY o lf" 01 erl't Office IJrownville.Neb. I3yl St ull fc Schick. A TTORVP.YP AND COUNSELORS AT LAW. "I; !)i- consul leu in tin- Jvitt;JlHli ana i.er- r r 1- 3!-G-s. Oliice, ro. 70 Jiam btreei.up ttrj IJrjwtiville, Neb. 4-J-ly W. T. Itogcrx, ATTORNEY A NO COUNSPJ.OR- ATT.AYv'. j Wilt ne flilteent att.-ntion to any le?al t. -1.. T.trusUsHo bis care. Office In Court IIjuse j; ; ' .s lsrow. iivill. Nel. Hcwctt &. Neivuinn, A TT'UFI.YS AND COUNSELORS AT LAW. I'r aririll.e.rteli. V K OllI'JOS. Attorney at Law and Land Agent, i. I Jleatrjc-i-.;afe County. Nebraska. PHYSICIANS. V1- JML LAPA Y, M. 1).. Physician. Surgeon. . - 1 1 obstetrician. Graduate! In ln51. Loca t j , IJr nville ls.V. lOtllce, Lett A Creigirs . r -i Tf Md'herw!! Wock- Special attention r i -i ii)-!t-trtC8 and diMjases of Women and l y.r j lo-ni (7i tr t II.' -r. WAUT.M. I).. VJiyakiaii and snn.eon. simile, e. OlHcelmfirefroml toa.m. . H'id o , U)"'t p. in. Olticein II. C. Letl' ? re M TIIEWS. riij-slcianandSurseon. Office irugsure,rvo. 32 JIatn street, JJrowu NOTAIIIES. L. A. ISermuiiii, V JTI ri'KLIC AND CONYEYANrEIL- - N. Main btre.'t, Jlrowm jlie Neb. 17 I J IlItl'.HT. Notary I'ubllcatMl Conveyancer, Jj. N r.' Mam street. scoimI Hoor. UrownviIIe, N i t ir the l'iuitable and American Ton- kU ii- iraiice comiHinies. IIHUGGISTS. Lett & CrtlgJi, '- . IT. awl dealers in Paints. Oils. "Wall Vi t !-. McrherMMi Jllock, No. & Main . i ' v. nvilie. Neb. D f-tr FEKI) STAHLE. Inlnu lloiiiie Ketd &, Training Stnltle A.r II NO. Proprietor. Ilorebreaklnir and .niadea Hiteciulty. Horses boarded c r i, it tttiii. COUNTY SURVEYOR. C. 31. Iluyclrn, N--i sCKVEYOK. Post ofllce u ' i . Nematiaft-unty, Neb. I.A.V1) AGENTS. (' address, p .v. Hh."A"I:LL. Keal Estate and Tax I'ayinc nM.-e in OoKswell ISlock, corner 1'irst trt-lM. Will ifUepromjit attention to t-al lirtnte and the Payment ol Taxett i 'i- Nvmaba Ltnd Ii--trH,,t. 7tt ' V. HUOIIKS. Ueal Estate Agent and rn ilio. OrScein nnrtlie&Mt corner 31c- K:.V 1 r, w : w . is '-k. up stairs. lirowiiMlle. Neb. JAM If. IIOOVKIt. ltl Estate and Tax - nent. Oftfeo in Distriel Court Uoom. . r .,ii.t attention to the ale ol Iteal LV- ' . !ii-ut of Taxes throughout tiieNeinaba ' i. GUAI7.' DEALERS. Geo. G. Start, x .'KMI.rjtlX OUAIN AND AORICri- in Iri.pleiiieim, and tor.ige. I'firwardmi; n Merchant Aspinwall. Neb. MERCHANDISE. 1. L1AM T. DEN.DealerlnUenernlMrrclirifi- aud Forwarding and ikmiiiis-ini Mercl- " - Mam street, Itrownville, N--1'. "rii - i stoves. 1'Hrniture. etc.. aiu us ( I t market price paid for Hides, lVlw, 1- .miy l'roduce. SADDLERY'. Li i - Ll 1 U. Harness. ISridles. Collars. Et-.. No. 'a i -.rct,Krownvjlie.Nel. Metidindune --iii-.faction (iuarantei'd. 11I-1IDGE KUILDiNG. II t EI.Klt, Bralce lJuUderaiid Contractor, . . .'If. Nb. -olea;eiit for It. W. smith's j - 'tridge. TI.eslrsestaiHl oetwooden in use. HOTELS. A;1 I, 11 - " HOUSli, I. D. Itobison. Proprietor. r.-'t. between Main and College, (iood , J.ierj telubio Hi connection with tins GUN SMITH. VM. N - HADDOCK. C!nnSmUb,fc Iirk Sniltli. ,. at No. rX JIaSn street, ltnwnvilSe. . i'is made toorder. and repairinc done a i nap ra'es. aviy HI.ACICSM1THS. T u U? v. t l K s. J C. ;riK0N. IJlai ksiniths and Hoi-e First stret.tKtweesi Main and Atlantic. Neb. Work done to order and satwrac- : !;tH-d. BOOTS AND SHOES. v-w .. )str..'t.lJroMiville.Neii. uasconiani- I: c . 1 .i koihI assortment ort.eius, JJuy s, - ) 'nUlren'M Itonts and Shoes. Custom null neatness and dispatch. Itepalnng , ri not . SALOONS. J lit ifRTA CO.. Peace and Quiet Sa Nfi ,i Mrjii street. Hrownville, Neb. The - i id I.iiiirs !v-pt mi band. t ' F. SOUB Manufacturer and T'ler in H JKJJ- a: cc zZS-tifsS'.i S PI 1 ' cn "WHIPS, CANVAS COLLABS, TIOBES, 7i :v r.Mvs. rtKriii. blankets. BHOWNVILLE, NEB. JACOB MAROHX, 3EBRCHANT TAII.OR, 9s & CLOCKS, WATCHES, JEWELRY, r.c-a.rcd. and Jewelry Manufactured to order. ALL WORK WARRANTED. Clocks, Watches, Jewelry JOSEPH SPIUTZ, No. 59 Kain Strt, Brottrnvillo. QL Keen constantly on hand a large and well t- V. ,"lwi stock of genuine articles in his line. (, Uf(.ainnK of Clocks. Watches and Jewelry u:ie on abort notice, at reasonable rates. ALL VXRK WARRAKTEIT. ri.TTlR. N J k. nw 1856. i Oldest Paper in the State. J PERU ADVERTISEMENTS. Insurance not a Privilege but a Duty. Continental Insurance Company OF NEW 1TOH.K. Actx over $-2,000,000 Loimch jintil in Cbicneo. ... 1, 500,000 LntM-H pnid In Itotton, .... 500,000 Farm mntSe a specialty, upon thelnstnl jiierit or Annual Premium plan. PJC -c for live years; less tnan nve years, lilbrvb stock plan. Insure against loss or damage by Fire and LlKlitning buildings and content. hay. grain and stock. ;KO T. HOPE, Pres. CYiir-. Peck. See. C. J. I5ariier, General Agent, Omaha. P. M. MARTIN, AGENT FOK NEMAHA COUNTY. BARJnES & MOODEY, DAVID IIAItKES. S. S. MOODEY. di:alers in GENEEAL BOOTS, Queensware, SHOES, Glassware, HING, CAPS, Latest Styles, variety. a T O HATS, LAXPSofthe In great A FULL LINE OF Moul i clings, Picture" Frames. IJIGI1EST MARKET PRICE PAID roit $ J3 ! 4TM jl ttmyjm mim For Present or Spring Delivery. We are constantly filling up v.Ith new goods which we SEIZ. LOW DOWN to suit purchasers. WE REFETJ TO OTE CUSTOMERS. S. R. DAIX.3T, DIU'f.'S, 3IEDICIXES, CHEMICALS, FINE TOILET SOAPS; rna"j" Hsir A. Tooth Hruslies, Perfumery, Toilet Articles, Turssxs, shot Lin.i: iikaces, ;; .Va arm fiiirilrn .vf, PURE WIXES AND LIQUORS FOR MEDICINAL PURPOSES, Paints. Oils, Tarnishos am! Dye StiifTs, Letter Paper, Pens, Inks, Envelopes, GLASS, ri'TTY, Carbon Oil Limps and Chimneys. Piij sirian's Prescriptions Carefally Compounded AND EXCHANGE STABLE Would respectfully announce to the citizens of Peru and vicinity, that he has opened out AT PBBTJ with a fi.ie array of Slock, Carriages & Teams AND -1 ?ro. 1 Saddle Horses. 0?Z!s"AT ALL E0U2S, DAY OF. EIGHT, to accommodate the pleasure seeking public. No. 1 GALLANTS to drive teams if desired. I solicit a liberal share of the public patron age. Very respectfully yours, "JACK," 2 THOMPSOKTS U. S. Mail and Transfer Hacks, RUN DAILY FROM PERU, NEBRASKA, to the following points: Nobrnslia making connection with trains City, on the Midland Pacific K. It, Bro-urxivillo and return daily. "Watson Sta- making connections with all tion. Mo., trains on the K. C, St. Joe. & C. 11. It. It. PASSENGERS AT LOIV KATES. IltEItUIT AND EXPKSSof R I T :MrJ transterred on tlie.se routes ii.ll I.lIIUb at r. antia'iK' rates. QSj- VII orders left with CEO. A BROWN, Vs. nt. a: the P. O. in Peru, Neb., will be promptly attended to. "Mose" Thompson. C. W. CrLISERTSO:?, rn ESTABLISHED h t lj . ri I i ' ? II r p i U fi R i j un I I p ' i i Pnrrpll blillbll npini fi3s, GK33 Ss PIBPfHTIB and D M I u,,u UUIL CONTRACTS TAKEN. Material Furnished when Desired, at terms and rates- which defy competition. di'ress, or call at shop, corner I nth and l'aru streets, l'eru. Ni. Refers to ( A. H. M. M. II. GILLETT, WILES. Syl chari.es gaede PROPRIETOR. Guests received at all hours, DAY and NIGHT. Connects with 3L.i-exv Stttble under same management. CVCareful attention given to the wants of guests. Ve refer to the traveling public. WKI.Tst in Wt VTT A I COUNTY. Calls by i letter receive prompt attention. Parties may make choice of PINE. OAI.VENIZED IRON OR CEMENT TUBING. We make wells through ROClt, as we are provided I with a thousand pound horse-power drill. (Drill same size as Auger. Guarantee water or no pay. Postoffice address. PERU, Neb Boring done in Winterer trcTJ cr fsinTnr. m ""JV'"f TXT1DT T a.w.ellis f 1 I'll I I bas the exclusive riglit I T JL-JjLJJLJof putting in P.ORKD PERU ADVERTISEMENTS. G-. W. PETERSON CQ. ivill make to order I NH TinOTS AND SHOES. ' W EZPAIBING DONS PR01IPTLY. ' Pull and see Samples. ' w isro fit isro st.e w Jtt.1. WORK WABEAXTJuB: S JORS BRITVSRO.V, I Fashionable Boot and Shoe ; s 3vr33:EH.. CUST03I WORK ALWAYS OX HAND. fl liepairs executed with neatness. j ? S CALL AND- EXAMINE MY STOCK , & R. B. S3IKTII, Justice of the Peace & Collection AGENT. Special attention given to collection of notes and accounts for non-residents. Address Box 00, PERU, Nemaha Co., Neb. DAX. I2RYAXT, Barber and Hair Dresser, PETERSON'S OLD STAND, Fifth Street, - Peru, Neb. Particular attention given to Ladles' Hair Dressing. Switches and Curls made to order. I guirautee good work. Syl f-uii.L ji-ijjj, 1 1 rfnrran BANKS. a -T 2 c - r P-' ' 3 I " o I 9 '-"'- Sis! oirl r-1 r? c i o i s5 i ill C X .- 'A 0 0 ai B A W N H PS 0 P i : ! a r S g-a S E P45 r" ,- :-5 S L- w 111 -V.-S 3 p rr -' E3 s-E: - JO P S 3 M - OS -n O T" ill J;:-: -; I s Q s. r H H ! c o c c It1 cZl' w 22 Z r eu C . 1 " 53 3TPH ja r- "J z s-V. Z -2 sT s 4 3 T ' - S3fl A.U.V. 'fP Wr Wfff f! 1? &1 Uimi.vm w s 0". N E W FURN FUBE STORE s 4 sr .PS. vjy - Full Stock' 3 i T PARLOK T ! T-T !i 1T ri ri T T ? 1 suit HI i UKtp Uocl-T2oom M TUBE! Duckiae Powder AND ALL Ammunition KTNDSOF For sale by TISDEL & RICHARDS. P53fJ""I - S 5522 S x . ZT (aala 'j-'s, 3. LJ " yq : 55 M !? 0 5 5 M X -r-J.-V4 Wi""-- - M v ; -i i " -" -?.ff; s r &crr:'"?rrv kd; i u j r IW..S 3 y i fii Si H f0i A w . 5 . V Aif1I- .'.'.I JW.-r ' m V . I s, AJ1 h: ct "v tc l . SS ??? " sR VVfH ?P' "i"l 1 BROWNVLLLE, NEBRASKA, THURSDAY, JANUARY 16, 1873. TENNYSON'S GAUDNEK'S TEIt. DAUGII- For np the porch there grew an Ers tern ro3e. That, flowering high, the last night's gale nad caught. And blown across the walk. One arm nloft Gowned in pure white, that fitted to the shape Holding the bush, to fix It back, she stood. A slnglestream of her soft brown hair Poured on one side; the shadow of the flow ers Stole all the golden gloss, and, wavering Loving lower, trembled on her waist Ah, happy shade! and still went wavering down. But, ere it touched a foot that might have lanced The greensward Into greener circles, dipped. And mixed with shadows of the common ground! But the lull day dwelt on her brows, and sun ned ITer violet eyes, and all her Hebe bloom. And doubled his own warmth against her Hps. And on the bounteous wave of such a breast As never pencil drew. Half light. Half shade, she stood, a sight to make an old man young. BY' LIGHTNING. Printing ly Electricity AVourterfuJ, ana All That. From the Memphis Appeal. The average number of electrieal impulses it takes to make a letter is four. Consequently, four ticks or strokes of the florae instrument go to the representation of an alphabetical character. Even with this slow and clum.sy way of transmitting jpeech, the wire will send news on as last as a good writer can note it down upon manifold paper. To make electricity thus instantly speak out the thoughts of men hundreds and even thousands of miles away, over sandy wastes, lofty and barren mountain ridges, and through the the dark depths of the ocean, was a great and marvelous tri umph of intellect over matter. o philosopher, however, regarded that as the ultimate result of human effort in that direction. The possibil ity of the future would be considered madness to the people of the past, not only in telegraphing, but in printing. The Walter press runs oil rolls of pa per at the rate of ten or twelve miles per hour, printing, cutting, counting, and folding the sheets, delivering them at the other side faster than any tongue can count. We shall soe rolls of paper thus run off and printed by telegraph, if we are lucky enough to live another quarter of a "century. What has long been desired and anxiously sought, has at last been found that is, a printing telegraph 01 easy practical operation. It will print by telegraph four times as fast i as the Morse instrument can transmit i messages. The new instrument when adapted to four lines of wire can take ine rresitieuts message and deliver it, printed, in San Francisco in half an hour! The invention belongs to Captain Lindsey, of Jackson. His operating model upon which the pat ent was issued is now in the Patent Office at Washington. What think you of a system of keys arranged in horizontal lines before the operators much in the same style that the keys of a piano are arranged before the player, each key representing a letter upon which the expert telegraphist plays, producing, not sweet sounds, but printed sheets three thousand miles away. Captain Lind-ey has succeeded in producing a revolution in telegraphy. Ills invention makes every printer at j once tne mosr expert oi operators His system of keys may be arranged after the mode ol a printer s case, in which the letters are arranged accord ing to their importance, thoe most commonly used being more conven ient to the hand of the artist, and those least used being more remote. The invention, in fact, admits of the production of a counterpart of the printer's case. The types not being liable to run out, and the operator never having to complain of "want of sorts," one character of each kind is sufficient to last an age. The operator can touch those char acters as fast as he niaj', and a corres ponding impression is made upon the rapidly uncoiling slips of paper at the other end of the line. A rapid print er can "distribute" nearly a column of type in an hour, consequently he could operate on the new instrument that fast, and even faster, for with the telegraphic instrument he would have no "spaces" to deal with, and very few other marks. It will be quite plain to every printer and newspaper man that when the alphabet is ar ranged in the order named, and has merely to be touched to make a mark at the "other end of the line," there can hardly be a limit to the quantity of matter which may b transmitted, and the rapidity will be determined by the expertness of the operator. When the message h received there will be no difficulty, tor it comes au tomatically forth on a printed slip, which uncoils itself from a roller, ami when cut into lengths and pasted across a page of paper will read : The Printing T e 1 g r a p h is a great success. We can s e n d t w e n t y thousand words per hour, printed on slips. The coil of blank paper upou which the characters are impressed is ar ranged in such manner t:iat it will uncoil j list as fast as the impressions are made by the letters. This won derful instrument was tested between Jackson and New Orleans, a circuit having been established at the latter place. The message was sent from Jack son, Tennessee, and after passing round 2s ew Orleans was instantly re ceived back right by the side of the operator with the utmost satisfaction. Several gentlemen standing by read the thoughts of the opeiator from the printed scroll, which was rapidly un rolled before their eyes as quickly as if he had spoken in their ears, and this after the words had passed over eight hundred miles of varied terri tory, over towns, rivers, bridges, j swamps, lakes, through woods, and ' on the railroad, circled through the densely peopled, sleeping cityof New Orleans, and back again to the very spot where the intelligent impulse wa given to the electricity, and faith fully delivered the message on the other side of the table in rapidly printed fillets similar to the above. Who can say what may be done next by this powerful agent, of man? fr , c "Oh, Grandma!" cried a mischiev ous little urchin," "I cheated the hens so nicely just now ; I threw them your gold heads, and they thought they were corn, and eat them up as fast as they could !" JIM The Titusville Herald's society notes deeeribe a belle who "attracts much attention since she got in her teeth. She sings divinely, and when vocalizing always- puts her teeth on the piano." SKETCH OP TECWISEH. The following sketch of Tecnm seh's life, by William Hailer, of Lo gan county, who came to Mad River in 1S12, will be read with interest: I will be pardoned for speaking more at length of this savage chief tain. He was born in 1778, in Piqua, an old Indian town of theShawnees, on the west banks of Mad River, five miles west of Springfield, and was one of three at a birth. His father was of the Kiscopok (or Kickapoo) tribe, and his mother of the Shawnee nation. He was above medium stat ure, his personal appearance dignified and commanding; as a speaker he was fluent and clear with n musical tone of voice. His speeches were orn amented by striking illustrations and lofty flights of the coucil. At Spring field, above alluded to, he evinced great forci and dignity. As a war rior, he was brave hut humane. Ar dent in lijs country's cause, he keen ly resented the encroachment of the whites, yet extended protection to the captive. Early in life he distinguish ed himself in several skirmishes with tne wnues, out was not promoted to. the chieftaincy till he was about thir ty years old. In witnessing the onward rollings of white emigration, he anticipated the fall of his nativi- land. The thought of mouldering remains of de parted kindred, whose resting place would be disturbed by strangers, pro moted feelings of resentment ; he conceived the Importance of concen trating all the Putiian forces, west. south and north, in one united efl'ort of extermination and opposition ; he set out on a tour to the south, visiting all the Indian tribes contiguous to his route, urging the necessity of imme diate action. Meeting one tribe in Louisiana who refused aid.Tecumseh stamped his foot on the ground, and said the Great Spirit would shake the earth in evidence of His displeasure. The threatened phenomenon strange ly occurred as predicted, in the shock of 1S11, to the gaat alarm of the de linquent nation. But war spread her wings of blood over the country, and ere the contemplated arrangement could be effected. Harrison had struck the blow on the Tippecanoe that for ever sealed the savage fate. But Teciimseh was notsubdued, but traveled north, gathering to hisstnnd ard a remnant who, like himself, could be overpowered hut not con- l iiiiureij. milieu wuii uie (iiisutruiv Proctor, who was irreatlv inferior in generalship and humanity, and was charged b Tecumeh with cowardice, and was repeatedly urged by the sav- age chief to active duty, When Perry achieved the victory on the Lake, the British gave up Lake Erie, and thought of drawing oil" their land forces, when Tecum seh addressed them, illustrating their in fidelity by keen sacasm. This speech was translated and read shortly after wards, and may be seen in the histo ry of this day. But the land forces under Harrison on one hand, and Proctorand Tecum P' h on the other, were yet pending. Just previous to tin engagement the fated chieftain seemed to realize hie doom, and said to his companions, "I shall not survive this conflict ; but if it is to be the will of the Great Spir- it, 1 wish to deposit my bones wi h ! those of my ancestors." He drew I his sword, and added : "When I am ! dead take this sword ; and when my I son grows to manhood give it to him." j Soon the forces engaged in deadly conflict. The thundering tones of Tecumseh rose above the roar of the battle in the fiercest of the conflict; at the head of his band he deals death around him, till, overpowered by numbers, the manly chieftain sinks in death's cold embrace. On seeing their leader slain, the remnant of the savage forces retreated in confusion, leaving the field with the dying and the dead to the victors. When he fell Tecumseh was about forty-five years of age. With the opportunities of some great men. perhaps this no ble son of the forest would have sec onded none that have set foot on the continent, of any color. Training a. Heifer. Cows usually become addicted to kicking when heifers, from being milked by abusive milkers. I have never seen an old cow become a kick er unless abused. Instead of cows be ing averse to being milked when giv ing a large quantity, I have ever found it the reverse. When pastur age is good, and cows come home at night with udders distended with milk, our "down cast" cows seem grateful to have it removed. Milking a heifer for the first time requires pa tience, for they will almost invariably kick. In such a case put a broad strap around her body, just front of the udder, and buckle it up moderate ly tight, and as soon as she gets quiet (for she may dance round a little at first) take your pail, set down and go to milking, for she is as- helpless as a kitten. Do not attempt to iie a rope instead of a strap, for it will not ans wer. This is a much better method than tying the legs, etc., as it does not hurt the animal in the least. A few applictinns of the strap, with plenty of patience and kindness, will cure the most obstinate case. A recent German paper contained a witty reply from a eleigyman who was traveling, and who stopped at a hotel much frequented by what are termed in commercial parlance, "drummers." The host, not being used to have clergymen at his table, looked at hiwi with surprise; the clerks used all the artillery of their low wit upon him, without eliciting a remark in self-defense. The worthy clergyman ate his dinner quietly, ap parently without unserving the gibes and sneers of his ueighbors. One of them at Iat, in despair at his forbearance, said, to him : "Well, I wonder at your patience! Have you not heard all that has been said against you ?" "Oh, yes, but T am used to it. Do you know who I am?" "No sir." "Well, I will inform you. chaplain of a lunatic asylum ; remarks have no effect upon me I am such A Hint to Bachelors. A lady named Mary Ann Eld ridge had oc casion to send a note to a gentleman, and put two r's in her first name in the signature thus "Marry Ann Eld ridge." The man was a bachelor, and consequently took the hint married Ann E dridge. eg i & - A poor sailor, wrecked on an un known coast, wandered about in '.-.m.j crfti.ix u.ivil Jt utiiix seizedby savages, when he suddenly came in sight of a gallows. "Ah"siad he, "thank God I'm in. a civilized utry." "" cou GRADUAL MARRIAGE. There is nothing better in all of Theodore Parker's writings than his little talk about marriages, in which he says that a happy wedding Is a long falling in love- Young persons think love only belongs to brown hair, and plump, round, crimson cheeks. So it does for its beginning, just as Mount Washington begins at Boston Bay. But the golden mar riage is a part of love which the brid al day knows nothing of. Youth is the tassel and silken flower of life; age is the full corn, ripe and solid in the ear. Beautilul is the morning of love with its prophetic crimson, violet, purple and gold, with its hopes of days that are to come. Beautiful also is the evening of love, with its glad remembrances, and its rainbow side turned towa.d heaven as well as earth. Young people marry theirops posites in temper and general charac ter, and such a marriage is common ly a good match. They do it instinctively. The young man does not say: "My black eyes require to be wed with blue, and my over-vehemence requires to be a little modified with somewhat of dull- ness aim reserve." w nen tne oppo sition come together to be wed, they do not know it, but each thinks the other jut like himself. Old people never marry opposites; they marry their similars and from calculation. Each of these two arrangements is very proper. In their long journey these young opposites will fall out, by the way, a great many times, and both get away from the road ; buteach will charm the other back again, and by and by they will be agreed us to the place they will go to and the road they will go by, and become reconcil ed. The man will be nobler and ....... -5 . M . larger for being associated with so much humanity unlike himself, and she will be a nobler woman for hav ing manhood beside her that seeks to correct her deficiencies and supply her with what she lacks, if the diver sity1 be not too great, and there be real piety and love in their hearts to begin with. The old bridegroom, having a much shorter journey to make, must associate himself with one like him self. A perfect and complete marriage is perhaps as rare as perfect personal beauty. Men and women are married fractionally, now a small fraction, then a large fraction. Very few are married totally and they only after some forty or fifty years of gradual approach and experiment. Such a large and sweet fruit is a complete marriage, and it needs a very long summer to ripen in, and then "a long winter to mellow and season in. But a real happy marriage of love and and judgment, between a noble man and woman, is one of the things so very handsome, that if the sun were, as the Greek poets fable, a god, he might stop the world in order to feast his eyes with such a spectacle. Ex change. u a i Too Much. Credit. Mr. Keene, a shrewd and thrifty farmer of Allen borough, owned a large thick of .sheep, ami one autumn, when it came housing time, he was greatly annoyed on missing a number of his finest muttons, among them three or four weathers which he had raised and fattened for his own table. He was sure it was not the work of dogs, and the most he could do was to await further development. Qn the following spring, when his sheep were turned out to pasture, he instituted a careful watch, and ere long he detected Tom. Stickney, a neighboring farmer, in the act of pil fering a sheep ; but he made no noise about it at the time. Farmer Stick ney was a mau well-to-do, and Mr. Keene did not care to expose him. Autumn came again, and upon counting up his flock, Mr. Keene found eight sheep missing. He made out a bill in due form to Thomas Stickney for the eight sheep, and pre sented it. Stickney choked ami stam mered, but did not back down. Like a prudent man. he paid tho bill and pocketed the receipt. Another spring time came, and Mr. Keene's sheep were again turned out. Another autumn came, and the farm er again took an account of his stock, and this time fifteen sheep were miss ing. As before, he made out the bill to Tom. Stickney for the number miss ing ; but this time Tom. objected. "It's too much of a good thing," said he. "Fifteen sheep! Why, bless your soul, I haven't had a fifth part of them." Mr. Keene was inexorable. "There is the hill," said he. "and I have made it out in good faith. I have made no fuss when the sheep have been missing, because I deemed your credit good and sufficient." "Well," groaned Tom, with a big gulp ' I suppose I must pay; but," he added emphatically, "we'll close that account from this time. You have given me too much credit alto gether some other rascal has been stealing on the strength of it .'" A "Settin' " Lot of Boyd. Old fanner GrufF was one morning tugging away with all his might and main at a barrel of apples, which he was endeavoring to get up the cellar stairs, and calling at the top of hi llings for one of his bov to lend a helping hand, but in vain When he had" after an infinite amount of sweating and tugging, accomplished the task, atidjint when they were not needed, of course the "boys" made their appearance. "Where have you been, and what have you been about, I'd like to know, that you could not hear me call?" inquired the farmer in an angry tone, and addressing the eldest. "Out in the work-shop, settin' the saw," replied the youth. "Ami you, Dick ?" Out in the barn, settin' the hen." "And you, -ir?" "Up in granny's room, settin' the clock." "And you, young man ?" "Up in the garret, settin' the trap," And now,' Master Fred., where was you. and what was you settin' s-ked the old farmer of his youngest progeny, the asperity of his temper being some what softened by this amusing cate gory of answers; "come, let's hear!" "Out on the door step, settin' still," replied the young hopeful. One of the saddest instances of woman's faithlessness with which we have ever met was that of a wife of a man in Syracuse. It seems that the couple had arranged that for six months the husband was to get up and make the kitchen fire, and that the wife was to perform the task for the succeeding six months. The man's half year expired on the 2d, and on the morning of the 3d the woman suddenly died. He is nearly UlUftvIl iiwO'vm "vi uic uiii lutiwu aa; sa3d ifhe could only have foreseen this bereavement, he would have shuffle her out of bed at daylight. every morning since May. j VOL. 17. NO. 14. SELECTIONS THAT IVILL DO. "We hava lost our little Hannah In a very painful manner. And we often asked. "How can her harsh sufferlnKS be borne?" When her death was first reported her aunt got ap and snorted. For the grief that she supported, for it made her feel forlorn. She was such a little seraph, that her father, who is sheriff; Really doesn't seem to care if she never smllfxfn tlfn(.,fn She has gone, we hope, to heaven, at theear- ly age of seven, (Funeral starts off at eleven) whero she'll never more have pain. iilie had a purple monkey climbing on a yellow stick. And when lie sucked the paint all off, it made htm deathly sick; And in his latest hours he clasped that mon key In his hand. And bid good bye to earth and went Into a better land. Oh f no moro he'll shoot his sister with his little wooden gun ; And no more he'll twist the pussy's tall, and make her yowl for fun. The pussy's tail now stands out straight, the gun is laid aside;. The monkey doesn't Jump around since lit tle Willie died. Therfeath-angel smote Alexander McGlne, ami gave him a protracted repose; He wore a checked shirt and a number nine shoe. And he had a pink wart on hts nose. No doubt he Is happier dwelling In space, ov er there on the ever-green shore ; His friends are informed that ids funeral takes place Precisely at quarter-past four. Mrs. McFndden has gone from this life ! She has lett all its sorrows and cares; She caught the rheumatism in both of her legs "While scrubbing the kitchen and stairs. They put mustard plasters upon her in vain. They bathed her wtlh whlskev and rum ; Rut Thursday her spirit departed, and lull Her body entirely numb. Four doctors tackled Johnny Smith They blistered and they bled him; "With squills and antl-billious pills And ipecac they fed him. They stirred him up with calomel. And tried to move his liver; Rut all In vain his little soul Was wafted o'er the river. IIOIV GAS IS MADE. "How do they make gas?" "First, they put about two bushels of bituminous coal into an air-tight iron retort. The retort is heated red hot, and, of course, the coal is heated red hot, when the gas bursts out of it, as you see it bursls out of lumps of soft coal when on the parlor fire. The gas passes oil" through pipes. A ton of coal will make 10,000 cubic feet of gas. 1 he gas as it leaves the coal Is very Impure.2' "I low do they purify it?" "First, while hot, it Is run oft into another building ; then It is forced through long perpendicular pipes, surrounded with cold water. This cools the gas, when a good deal of tar condenses from it and runs down to the bottom of the perpendicular pipes. This tar is the ordinary tar which you see boiling in the streets for roofs and walks." "They now wash the gas. They call it scrubbing it." "This is done by filling a large ves sel, which looks like a perpendicular steam boiler, half full of wood, laid cross ways. Then 10,000 streams of cold Croton water are spurted thro' the boiler. Through the mist and rain, and between the wet sticks of wood, the gas passes coining out washed and cleansed. The ammonia condenses, joins the water and falls to the bottom." "What next?" "Well, next the gas is purified. It is parsed through vata of limeand ox ide of iron, which takes out the car bonic acid, sulphurated hydrogen, and ammonia." "What next?" "The gas is now pure. It is passed through the station meter, through the mains ami pipes, till It reaches the gas jet In your room. Then It burns, while 3'ou all scold because it don't burn better." He ifrllevcd. The spirit of the gentleman (who, by the way. had been somewhat se vere in matters of discipline) was cal led up, and held some conversation with the boy. But the messages were not at all convincing, and the youth would not believed that his "father had anything to do with them "Well," said the medium, "what can your father do to remove your doubts?" "If he will perform some act which is characteristic of him. and without any direction us to what it shall be, I shall beleieve in it." "Very well," said the medium ; "we wait some manifestation fom the spirit-land." This wa no sooner said than (as the story goes) a table walked up to tho voutn, and, without kicked him out of the roon. "Hold on ! stop him !" cried the the terrified youth convert; "that's old man! I believe in rapping!" The hero ha never since had a sire to stir up the old gentleman. ii" "BuTTAir, Sah?" An amusing coiloquy came oil" at a supper table on board of one of our Mississippi steamboats, between a Chicago ex quisite, reeking with oil and cologne, who was cursing the waiters, assum- i ing consequential airs, and a raw Jonathan seated by his side, dressed in homepun. Turning to the vul gar friend, the former pointed with his jewelled finger, and said: "But tah, -ah !" "Yes. I see It is replied Jonathan. "Buttah, sah, I says," fiercely repeated the dandy "Yes sir; I know It very good, and a first rate article." "But tah. I tell you !" thundered the dan dy in still louder ton, as if he would annihilate him. "Well, gosh all Jerusalem, what of it!" now yelled the down-easter, getting his d'ander up in turn ? You don't think I took it for lard, did you you? You must be an everlasting fool, and, drat you. if yon don't shut up your jaw, I'll butter my fists and cram them down your infernal throat. If you don't hush up, I'll get mad ; do you here?" Oncr upon a time in one of the South Americ m Republics, the minis ter of war requestd the minister of the navy to place the navy of the repub lic, consisting of one schooner, at the disposal of the troops, so that tlioy might have transportation to seat of war. The minister of the navy sent a courier to where the schooner was, with the necessary order. The Lord High Admiral wrote back r "Your Excellency It is impossible. You must be aware that this is a schooner of sixty tons. There Is not room for three hundred men in her." The stern old salt in the navy office wrote back : lliuoiiMiC-iXiJtOj;. V'C J Oil! 11. lira 1 ?i Inna ni.ctlinnlil o r-, ri K.l Heave ft the soldi wit. i...wu.i..uuaj UI1U IHfintC ers. OFFICIAL PAPER OF THE C0UXTY, A Puzzle. There is a story of how a chamber maid got twelve commercial travelers Into eleven bedrooms, and yet to. have given each a separate room. Here we have eleven bedrooms. 3 12 3 14 jo 6 7 8 9 1 101 11 "Now," said" she. if two of you gen tlemen will go into No. 1 bed room and wait thprp n fw mimifps TI I find a spare room for one of j-ou as, rsoon as I've shown the other's to their rooms. Well, now, having bestowed- two. gentlemen in No.l, she put tho third In No. 2, the fourth In No. 3, fifth ir No. 4, sixth in No 5. seventh in No. 6. eighth In No. 7. ninth in No. S, tenth in No. 9, elevnth in No. 10. She then came back to No. 1, v?here you remember, she had left the twelfth gentleman with the first, and' said: "I've now accommodated n the rest, and still have a room to spare; so, if one of you will step into. No. 1!, you will find it empty." Thus the twelfth man got his bed room. Of course there is a hole some where ; but we leave the reader to de termine exactly where the fallacy Is, with just a warning to think twice as; to which, if any. of tho travelers was. tho "odd man out." MtMcrllaneotiii. The Rev. Mr. Yocum pie In Cincinnati. marries peo- A lively advertisement more than a dull one. costs no In Pennsylvania they call half mourning "Pittsburgh sunshine." - A Troy shoe manufacturer adver-. tises for "five hand-sewed bootmen." The list of American novels an nounced for this fall comprises oyer fifty titles. A Vermont paper promises some "miscellaneous" reading now that the election is over. Creswell says that the boy of to-day. will see the time when letters will be. sent anywhere for a penny. Experience will teach any man that it is advantageous to patronize thosq' who advertlso In newspapers. "The Search for a Publisher" is . shilling manual published in London, for the benefit of would-be authors. To tell the truth, Boston's sister, cities are secretly pleased at her noble, determination to receive no pecuniary, aid. More than 10,000,000 pounds fo India rubber gum nre used in one year In the 150 india rubber manufactories or America and Europe. The English papers call steam, whistle the "American devil." Wn know better. He is the youth that comes down stairs and asks for copy. The latest example of laconic re porting is: An Indian opened a can of nitor-glycerine with his tomahawk, and left. Search resulted In "no In dian." Tho Albany Journal concludes f cordial notice of .S'crifincr's Mothlt, with the enthusiastic cry, "Long live. Galaxy." Something was evidently r mixed. Somebody Inquiring at the Spring field, HI., post-office for a letter ton Mike Howe, received the grutl" an swer that there was no letter there for anybody's cow. The Providence Herald man, after, evolving 775 paragraphs on the horso Jisorder, burst into tears because he concludn't think of anything that would make a good 77Gth. Tho Chicago Times publishes an article which claims to show that there have bet-n nearly one hundred murders in that city within seven, years, "and not a neck stretched." "If all the cities in the Union wera reduced to ashes, you'd have a new set of millionaires, in a couple of years nr so, out of the trade in potash." So asj's the philosopher, Oliver Wen dell Holmes. An old lady hearing that the shock ing condition of the firemen's hoso had resulted in the destruction of a large amount of property, set up near ly all night to put her husband's socks in complete repair. Charles E. Hulse of JefTcraonville, Ky., Blended his lady love who was sick with malignant variola, and died in consequence. The papers said he "died for love," but the disease had every symptom of the small-pox. A lady wished to have her hus band's life insured in a Boston office, the other day. giving as a reason that she wanted either a husband or some money, "the didirt care which." She, never expected both at iho same time. When Miss Bruce, daughter of tha British home secretary, was married the other day, she was attended by bridesmaid., of whom nine were her. sisters. Poor Mr. Bruce! England should look kindly on alJ his future actions. Nothing wa ever invented or crea ted which a country publisher will not turn Into account, if he gets tho chance, in the wa of stirring up sub pcribers to "pay up." the Hamilton (Kan.) I-Wrman says, for instance: "The Epizootic i in tho land. All delinquent subscribers nvisi now set tle up." When yon m:?ie a sidewalk, yoif want to get it'ver' narrow and very : high, soinething like tho shape of an egg. Then when anyone ilips on It, ! a leg will ge oiTat each side, and ha , will be -pllt through to the chin, and die without struggle, ami his wile can, get the iiisiirace, and marry a man j who wiM go into business and mafce an assignment. On any other walk a man will fall and cripple himself, , and live on forj-ears after his wife is ueuu, anu linn uie 5,m leave me 1U-. surance money to hfs mother. A young man engaged in making, himself attractive to a young htdy wa taken with a lit of coughing am brought up two marbles he had swallowed when a lioy. The joun" lady dismissed him. Shp sakl' she didn't want to marry a atone quarry. Here is the ground-work for a first class novel. A blind man was cross ing Broadway, when he was on tho. point of being run over by a reckless hansome cab driver, and at the risk o her own life a beautiful youug lady ran to his rescue, and piloted the okt man to the pavement in safety. " A. rich (isrhflor saw the tansactipn, ami straightway sought her out, "was iu- traduced, courted, proposed. wa3 ac cepted, and married to the heroine without loss of time. The efleet of this is wonderful. Hopeful young: i ladies can be seen standing in tnT! I vicinity of street crossings, with on . eye searching for a stray blind man. and the other on the look-out for; a rich bachelor ; for i irp,uid n- 'art awful bore f they should' tackle th old man and have the bachelor a& I where around. --' m ' '11 i .i m im