tawippPFaV"1
V
&
Tj.au, -pj rtl1ijlljpi-rw'm
THE ADVERTISER.
,, -- . -
Published every Thursday by
CAJPJ?IIBY 0 HACKER,
Proprietors.
THE ADVERTISER,
ADVERTISING RATES.
Halt Inch.
OTJCC Xo.T-J McPhcrson' Block, npStairs,
BROtt'NVILLE, NEBRASKA.
?I.C0 JL50 2jOQ, fiSQ ?30,f5.00' J S.tO
1.50 2.50 l.OO 3.50' S.COJ 7.0O Ifl.eQ
ZHO' 3JO- 4.00 5.00 7.00 10.00 .e
T.00 4.00 "Ulrt 8.00 10.00 15.60 .0"0
5.00 S.00 18.00 12.00 K00 23.00 40.&0.
!.00 Kffl 15.00 W.TO 25lOO 40.00 60.6f
15.00 aa.oo S5.QQ 30.00 43.00 6oj ico.ee
Onelnch.
Twolnchi
Three Inches
Six Inches
Twelve inches.
Onecolnron
Terras, in A-Jvanco :
One copy, tune year
S2 00
. 1 00
50
space. H 5 55 ;g5 S2
Lesraladvertisement atlegAl rates: Oaesqtinre
(eight line of Aeateiace, or le.) Hx?t Insejtion'
flv: eachsubeqnentliwrt!oti.50c
ffarAU trnnsclent advertisements mort be pais
fori n advance j - v
o-e copy. six months
03 cry. three months.-
or. i nn-C AT TTT?TI H kVEKY PAGT"
I!. I. U' -" -' ' - -' " " ' '
BUSINESS CARDS.
ATTORNEYS.
.T. II. liroady,
1 TTnP.NnY ANIj COUNS-ELOP. AT UW.-
(j -e over State 15ank, llrownvlll' .Net).
K. W. Tliouinb,
1 TTOHNEY AT LAW.-Oir.ce. front room over
-- ft awn &. Cross's Hardware fetore, Browu-
Sidney Erencli,
1 TT'Jk
TT'jr.VEV AND -OUNsKLOrt
AT LAW.
iY o lf" 01 erl't Office
IJrownville.Neb. I3yl
St ull fc Schick.
A
TTORVP.YP AND COUNSELORS AT LAW.
"I; !)i- consul leu in tin- Jvitt;JlHli ana i.er-
r r 1- 3!-G-s. Oliice, ro. 70 Jiam btreei.up
ttrj IJrjwtiville, Neb. 4-J-ly
W. T. Itogcrx,
ATTORNEY A NO COUNSPJ.OR- ATT.AYv'.
j Wilt ne flilteent att.-ntion to any le?al
t. -1.. T.trusUsHo bis care. Office In Court IIjuse
j; ; ' .s lsrow. iivill. Nel.
Hcwctt &. Neivuinn,
A
TT'UFI.YS AND COUNSELORS AT LAW.
I'r aririll.e.rteli.
V K OllI'JOS. Attorney at Law and Land Agent,
i. I
Jleatrjc-i-.;afe County. Nebraska.
PHYSICIANS.
V1- JML LAPA Y, M. 1).. Physician. Surgeon.
. - 1 1 obstetrician. Graduate! In ln51. Loca
t j , IJr nville ls.V. lOtllce, Lett A Creigirs
. r -i Tf Md'herw!! Wock- Special attention
r i -i ii)-!t-trtC8 and diMjases of Women and
l y.r j lo-ni
(7i
tr t
II.'
-r. WAUT.M. I).. VJiyakiaii and snn.eon.
simile, e. OlHcelmfirefroml toa.m.
. H'id o , U)"'t p. in. Olticein II. C. Letl'
? re
M TIIEWS. riij-slcianandSurseon. Office
irugsure,rvo. 32 JIatn street, JJrowu
NOTAIIIES.
L. A. ISermuiiii,
V JTI
ri'KLIC AND CONYEYANrEIL-
- N.
Main btre.'t, Jlrowm jlie Neb.
17 I J IlItl'.HT. Notary I'ubllcatMl Conveyancer,
Jj. N r.' Mam street. scoimI Hoor. UrownviIIe,
N i
t ir the l'iuitable and
American Ton-
kU
ii- iraiice comiHinies.
IIHUGGISTS.
Lett & CrtlgJi,
'- . IT. awl dealers in Paints. Oils. "Wall
Vi t !-. McrherMMi Jllock, No. & Main
. i ' v. nvilie. Neb.
D
f-tr
FEKI) STAHLE.
Inlnu lloiiiie Ketd &, Training Stnltle
A.r
II NO. Proprietor. Ilorebreaklnir and
.niadea Hiteciulty. Horses boarded
c r i, it tttiii.
COUNTY SURVEYOR.
C. 31. Iluyclrn,
N--i sCKVEYOK. Post ofllce
u ' i . Nematiaft-unty, Neb.
I.A.V1) AGENTS.
('
address,
p
.v.
Hh."A"I:LL. Keal Estate and Tax I'ayinc
nM.-e in OoKswell ISlock, corner 1'irst
trt-lM. Will ifUepromjit attention to
t-al lirtnte and the Payment ol Taxett
i 'i- Nvmaba Ltnd Ii--trH,,t. 7tt
' V. HUOIIKS. Ueal Estate Agent and
rn ilio. OrScein nnrtlie&Mt corner 31c-
K:.V
1 r,
w :
w
. is '-k. up stairs. lirowiiMlle. Neb.
JAM If. IIOOVKIt. ltl Estate and Tax
- nent. Oftfeo in Distriel Court Uoom.
. r .,ii.t attention to the ale ol Iteal LV-
' . !ii-ut of Taxes throughout tiieNeinaba
' i.
GUAI7.' DEALERS.
Geo. G. Start,
x .'KMI.rjtlX OUAIN AND AORICri-
in Iri.pleiiieim, and tor.ige.
I'firwardmi;
n Merchant
Aspinwall. Neb.
MERCHANDISE.
1. L1AM T. DEN.DealerlnUenernlMrrclirifi-
aud Forwarding and ikmiiiis-ini Mercl-
" - Mam street, Itrownville, N--1'. "rii
- i stoves. 1'Hrniture. etc.. aiu us (
I t market price paid for Hides, lVlw,
1- .miy l'roduce.
SADDLERY'.
Li
i -
Ll 1 U. Harness. ISridles. Collars. Et-.. No.
'a i -.rct,Krownvjlie.Nel. Metidindune
--iii-.faction (iuarantei'd.
11I-1IDGE KUILDiNG.
II t EI.Klt, Bralce lJuUderaiid Contractor,
. . .'If. Nb. -olea;eiit for It. W. smith's
j - 'tridge. TI.eslrsestaiHl oetwooden
in use.
HOTELS.
A;1
I,
11 -
" HOUSli, I. D. Itobison. Proprietor.
r.-'t. between Main and College, (iood
, J.ierj telubio Hi connection with tins
GUN SMITH.
VM.
N -
HADDOCK. C!nnSmUb,fc Iirk Sniltli.
,. at No. rX JIaSn street, ltnwnvilSe.
. i'is made toorder. and repairinc done
a i nap ra'es. aviy
HI.ACICSM1THS.
T u
U? v.
t l K
s. J C. ;riK0N. IJlai ksiniths and Hoi-e
First stret.tKtweesi Main and Atlantic.
Neb. Work done to order and satwrac-
: !;tH-d.
BOOTS AND SHOES.
v-w
.. )str..'t.lJroMiville.Neii. uasconiani-
I:
c
. 1 .i koihI assortment ort.eius, JJuy s,
- ) 'nUlren'M Itonts and Shoes. Custom
null neatness and dispatch. Itepalnng
, ri not .
SALOONS.
J lit ifRTA CO.. Peace and Quiet Sa
Nfi ,i Mrjii street. Hrownville, Neb. The
- i id I.iiiirs !v-pt mi band.
t '
F. SOUB
Manufacturer and T'ler in
H
JKJJ-
a:
cc
zZS-tifsS'.i S PI
1 '
cn
"WHIPS, CANVAS COLLABS, TIOBES,
7i :v r.Mvs. rtKriii. blankets.
BHOWNVILLE, NEB.
JACOB MAROHX,
3EBRCHANT TAII.OR,
9s
&
CLOCKS, WATCHES, JEWELRY,
r.c-a.rcd. and Jewelry Manufactured to order.
ALL WORK WARRANTED.
Clocks, Watches, Jewelry
JOSEPH SPIUTZ,
No. 59 Kain Strt, Brottrnvillo.
QL Keen constantly on hand a large and well
t- V. ,"lwi stock of genuine articles in his line.
(, Uf(.ainnK of Clocks. Watches and Jewelry
u:ie on abort notice, at reasonable rates.
ALL VXRK WARRAKTEIT.
ri.TTlR.
N J k.
nw
1856. i
Oldest Paper in the State. J
PERU ADVERTISEMENTS.
Insurance not a Privilege but a Duty.
Continental Insurance Company
OF NEW 1TOH.K.
Actx over $-2,000,000
Loimch jintil in Cbicneo. ... 1, 500,000
LntM-H pnid In Itotton, .... 500,000
Farm
mntSe a specialty, upon thelnstnl
jiierit or Annual Premium plan.
PJC -c for live years; less tnan nve years,
lilbrvb stock plan.
Insure against loss or damage by Fire and
LlKlitning buildings and content. hay. grain
and stock. ;KO T. HOPE, Pres.
CYiir-. Peck. See.
C. J. I5ariier, General Agent, Omaha.
P. M. MARTIN,
AGENT FOK NEMAHA COUNTY.
BARJnES & MOODEY,
DAVID IIAItKES. S. S. MOODEY.
di:alers in
GENEEAL
BOOTS,
Queensware,
SHOES,
Glassware,
HING,
CAPS,
Latest Styles,
variety.
a
T
O
HATS,
LAXPSofthe
In great
A FULL
LINE OF
Moul i clings,
Picture" Frames.
IJIGI1EST MARKET PRICE
PAID roit
$ J3 !
4TM jl ttmyjm mim
For Present or Spring Delivery.
We are constantly filling up v.Ith new goods
which we
SEIZ. LOW DOWN
to suit purchasers.
WE REFETJ TO OTE CUSTOMERS.
S. R. DAIX.3T,
DIU'f.'S, 3IEDICIXES,
CHEMICALS,
FINE TOILET SOAPS;
rna"j" Hsir A. Tooth Hruslies,
Perfumery,
Toilet Articles,
Turssxs, shot Lin.i: iikaces,
;; .Va arm fiiirilrn .vf,
PURE WIXES AND LIQUORS FOR
MEDICINAL PURPOSES,
Paints. Oils, Tarnishos am! Dye StiifTs,
Letter Paper, Pens, Inks, Envelopes,
GLASS, ri'TTY,
Carbon Oil Limps and Chimneys.
Piij sirian's Prescriptions Carefally Compounded
AND EXCHANGE STABLE
Would respectfully announce to the citizens
of Peru and vicinity, that he has opened out
AT PBBTJ
with a fi.ie array of
Slock, Carriages & Teams
AND
-1 ?ro. 1 Saddle Horses.
0?Z!s"AT ALL E0U2S, DAY OF. EIGHT,
to accommodate the pleasure seeking
public.
No. 1 GALLANTS
to drive teams if desired.
I solicit a liberal share of the public patron
age. Very respectfully yours,
"JACK,"
2
THOMPSOKTS
U. S. Mail and Transfer Hacks,
RUN DAILY FROM
PERU, NEBRASKA,
to the following points:
Nobrnslia making connection with trains
City, on the Midland Pacific K. It,
Bro-urxivillo and return daily.
"Watson Sta- making connections with all
tion. Mo., trains on the K. C, St. Joe. &
C. 11. It. It.
PASSENGERS AT LOIV KATES.
IltEItUIT AND EXPKSSof R I T :MrJ
transterred on tlie.se routes ii.ll I.lIIUb
at r. antia'iK' rates.
QSj- VII orders left with CEO. A BROWN,
Vs. nt. a: the P. O. in Peru, Neb., will be
promptly attended to.
"Mose" Thompson.
C. W. CrLISERTSO:?,
rn
ESTABLISHED
h
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i U fi R i j un I
I p '
i i
Pnrrpll
blillbll
npini
fi3s, GK33
Ss
PIBPfHTIB and D
M
I u,,u UUIL
CONTRACTS TAKEN.
Material Furnished when Desired,
at terms and rates- which defy competition.
di'ress, or call at shop, corner I nth and
l'aru streets, l'eru. Ni.
Refers to
( A. H.
M. M.
II. GILLETT,
WILES.
Syl
chari.es gaede
PROPRIETOR.
Guests received at all hours, DAY
and NIGHT. Connects with
3L.i-exv Stttble
under same management.
CVCareful attention given to the
wants of guests.
Ve refer to the
traveling public.
WKI.Tst in Wt VTT A I
COUNTY. Calls by i
letter receive prompt
attention. Parties may
make choice of PINE. OAI.VENIZED
IRON OR CEMENT TUBING. We make
wells through ROClt, as we are provided
I with a thousand pound horse-power drill.
(Drill same size as Auger. Guarantee water
or no pay. Postoffice address. PERU, Neb
Boring done in Winterer trcTJ cr fsinTnr.
m ""JV'"f
TXT1DT T a.w.ellis
f 1 I'll I I bas the exclusive riglit
I T JL-JjLJJLJof putting in P.ORKD
PERU ADVERTISEMENTS.
G-. W. PETERSON CQ.
ivill make to order I NH
TinOTS AND SHOES. ' W
EZPAIBING DONS PR01IPTLY. '
Pull and see Samples. '
w
isro fit isro st.e
w
Jtt.1. WORK WABEAXTJuB: S
JORS BRITVSRO.V,
I Fashionable Boot and Shoe ;
s 3vr33:EH..
CUST03I WORK ALWAYS OX HAND.
fl liepairs executed with neatness. j ?
S CALL AND- EXAMINE MY STOCK , &
R. B. S3IKTII,
Justice of the Peace & Collection
AGENT.
Special attention given to collection of notes
and accounts for non-residents.
Address Box 00, PERU, Nemaha Co., Neb.
DAX. I2RYAXT,
Barber and Hair Dresser,
PETERSON'S OLD STAND,
Fifth Street, - Peru, Neb.
Particular attention given to Ladles' Hair
Dressing. Switches and Curls made to order.
I guirautee good work. Syl
f-uii.L ji-ijjj, 1 1 rfnrran
BANKS.
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N E W
FURN
FUBE STORE
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.PS.
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Full Stock' 3
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T PARLOK T
! T-T !i 1T ri ri T T ? 1
suit HI i UKtp
Uocl-T2oom
M
TUBE!
Duckiae Powder
AND ALL
Ammunition
KTNDSOF
For sale by
TISDEL & RICHARDS.
P53fJ""I
- S 5522
S x
. ZT (aala
'j-'s, 3. LJ " yq
: 55 M
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BROWNVLLLE, NEBRASKA, THURSDAY, JANUARY 16, 1873.
TENNYSON'S
GAUDNEK'S
TEIt.
DAUGII-
For np the porch there grew an Ers tern ro3e.
That, flowering high, the last night's gale
nad caught.
And blown across the walk. One arm nloft
Gowned in pure white, that fitted to the
shape
Holding the bush, to fix It back, she stood.
A slnglestream of her soft brown hair
Poured on one side; the shadow of the flow
ers Stole all the golden gloss, and, wavering
Loving lower, trembled on her waist
Ah, happy shade! and still went wavering
down.
But, ere it touched a foot that might have
lanced
The greensward Into greener circles, dipped.
And mixed with shadows of the common
ground!
But the lull day dwelt on her brows, and sun
ned ITer violet eyes, and all her Hebe bloom.
And doubled his own warmth against her
Hps.
And on the bounteous wave of such a breast
As never pencil drew. Half light.
Half shade, she stood, a sight to make an old
man young.
BY' LIGHTNING.
Printing ly Electricity AVourterfuJ,
ana All That.
From the Memphis Appeal.
The average number of electrieal
impulses it takes to make a letter is
four. Consequently, four ticks or
strokes of the florae instrument go to
the representation of an alphabetical
character. Even with this slow and
clum.sy way of transmitting jpeech,
the wire will send news on as last as
a good writer can note it down upon
manifold paper. To make electricity
thus instantly speak out the thoughts
of men hundreds and even thousands
of miles away, over sandy wastes,
lofty and barren mountain ridges, and
through the the dark depths of the
ocean, was a great and marvelous tri
umph of intellect over matter.
o philosopher, however, regarded
that as the ultimate result of human
effort in that direction. The possibil
ity of the future would be considered
madness to the people of the past, not
only in telegraphing, but in printing.
The Walter press runs oil rolls of pa
per at the rate of ten or twelve miles
per hour, printing, cutting, counting,
and folding the sheets, delivering
them at the other side faster than any
tongue can count. We shall soe rolls
of paper thus run off and printed by
telegraph, if we are lucky enough to
live another quarter of a "century.
What has long been desired and
anxiously sought, has at last been
found that is, a printing telegraph
01
easy practical operation. It will
print by telegraph four times as fast i
as the Morse instrument can transmit i
messages. The new instrument when
adapted to four lines of wire can take
ine rresitieuts message and deliver
it, printed, in San Francisco in half
an hour! The invention belongs to
Captain Lindsey, of Jackson. His
operating model upon which the pat
ent was issued is now in the Patent
Office at Washington. What think
you of a system of keys arranged in
horizontal lines before the operators
much in the same style that the keys
of a piano are arranged before the
player, each key representing a letter
upon which the expert telegraphist
plays, producing, not sweet sounds,
but printed sheets three thousand
miles away.
Captain Lind-ey has succeeded in
producing a revolution in telegraphy.
Ills invention makes every printer at j
once
tne mosr expert oi operators
His system of keys may be arranged
after the mode ol a printer s case, in
which the letters are arranged accord
ing to their importance, thoe most
commonly used being more conven
ient to the hand of the artist, and
those least used being more remote.
The invention, in fact, admits of the
production of a counterpart of the
printer's case. The types not being
liable to run out, and the operator
never having to complain of "want of
sorts," one character of each kind is
sufficient to last an age.
The operator can touch those char
acters as fast as he niaj', and a corres
ponding impression is made upon the
rapidly uncoiling slips of paper at the
other end of the line. A rapid print
er can "distribute" nearly a column
of type in an hour, consequently he
could operate on the new instrument
that fast, and even faster, for with the
telegraphic instrument he would have
no "spaces" to deal with, and very
few other marks. It will be quite
plain to every printer and newspaper
man that when the alphabet is ar
ranged in the order named, and has
merely to be touched to make a mark
at the "other end of the line," there
can hardly be a limit to the quantity
of matter which may b transmitted,
and the rapidity will be determined
by the expertness of the operator.
When the message h received there
will be no difficulty, tor it comes au
tomatically forth on a printed slip,
which uncoils itself from a roller, ami
when cut into lengths and pasted
across a page of paper will read :
The Printing T e 1 g r a p h is
a great success. We can
s e n d t w e n t y thousand words
per hour, printed on slips.
The coil of blank paper upou which
the characters are impressed is ar
ranged in such manner t:iat it will
uncoil j list as fast as the impressions
are made by the letters. This won
derful instrument was tested between
Jackson and New Orleans, a circuit
having been established at the latter
place.
The message was sent from Jack
son, Tennessee, and after passing
round 2s ew Orleans was instantly re
ceived back right by the side of the
operator with the utmost satisfaction.
Several gentlemen standing by read
the thoughts of the opeiator from the
printed scroll, which was rapidly un
rolled before their eyes as quickly as
if he had spoken in their ears, and
this after the words had passed over
eight hundred miles of varied terri
tory, over towns, rivers, bridges,
j swamps, lakes, through woods, and
' on the railroad, circled through the
densely peopled, sleeping cityof New
Orleans, and back again to the very
spot where the intelligent impulse
wa given to the electricity, and faith
fully delivered the message on the
other side of the table in rapidly
printed fillets similar to the above.
Who can say what may be done next
by this powerful agent, of man?
fr , c
"Oh, Grandma!" cried a mischiev
ous little urchin," "I cheated the
hens so nicely just now ; I threw
them your gold heads, and they
thought they were corn, and eat them
up as fast as they could !"
JIM
The Titusville Herald's society
notes deeeribe a belle who "attracts
much attention since she got in her
teeth. She sings divinely, and when
vocalizing always- puts her teeth on
the piano."
SKETCH OP TECWISEH.
The following sketch of Tecnm
seh's life, by William Hailer, of Lo
gan county, who came to Mad River
in 1S12, will be read with interest:
I will be pardoned for speaking
more at length of this savage chief
tain. He was born in 1778, in Piqua,
an old Indian town of theShawnees,
on the west banks of Mad River, five
miles west of Springfield, and was
one of three at a birth. His father
was of the Kiscopok (or Kickapoo)
tribe, and his mother of the Shawnee
nation. He was above medium stat
ure, his personal appearance dignified
and commanding; as a speaker he
was fluent and clear with n musical
tone of voice. His speeches were orn
amented by striking illustrations and
lofty flights of the coucil. At Spring
field, above alluded to, he evinced
great forci and dignity. As a war
rior, he was brave hut humane. Ar
dent in lijs country's cause, he keen
ly resented the encroachment of the
whites, yet extended protection to the
captive. Early in life he distinguish
ed himself in several skirmishes with
tne wnues, out was not promoted to.
the chieftaincy till he was about thir
ty years old.
In witnessing the onward rollings
of white emigration, he anticipated
the fall of his nativi- land. The
thought of mouldering remains of de
parted kindred, whose resting place
would be disturbed by strangers, pro
moted feelings of resentment ; he
conceived the Importance of concen
trating all the Putiian forces, west.
south and north, in one united efl'ort
of extermination and opposition ; he
set out on a tour to the south, visiting
all the Indian tribes contiguous to his
route, urging the necessity of imme
diate action. Meeting one tribe in
Louisiana who refused aid.Tecumseh
stamped his foot on the ground, and
said the Great Spirit would shake the
earth in evidence of His displeasure.
The threatened phenomenon strange
ly occurred as predicted, in the shock
of 1S11, to the gaat alarm of the de
linquent nation. But war spread her
wings of blood over the country, and
ere the contemplated arrangement
could be effected. Harrison had struck
the blow on the Tippecanoe that for
ever sealed the savage fate.
But Teciimseh was notsubdued, but
traveled north, gathering to hisstnnd
ard a remnant who, like himself,
could be overpowered hut not con-
l iiiiureij. milieu wuii uie (iiisutruiv
Proctor, who was irreatlv inferior in
generalship and humanity, and was
charged b Tecumeh with cowardice,
and was repeatedly urged by the sav-
age chief to active duty,
When Perry achieved the victory
on the Lake, the British gave up
Lake Erie, and thought of drawing
oil" their land forces, when Tecum seh
addressed them, illustrating their in
fidelity by keen sacasm. This speech
was translated and read shortly after
wards, and may be seen in the histo
ry of this day.
But the land forces under Harrison
on one hand, and Proctorand Tecum
P' h on the other, were yet pending.
Just previous to tin engagement the
fated chieftain seemed to realize hie
doom, and said to his companions, "I
shall not survive this conflict ; but if
it is to be the will of the Great Spir-
it, 1 wish to deposit my
bones wi h
! those of my ancestors." He drew
I his sword, and added : "When I am
! dead take this sword ; and when my
I son grows to manhood give it to him."
j Soon the forces engaged in deadly
conflict. The thundering tones of
Tecumseh rose above the roar of the
battle in the fiercest of the conflict;
at the head of his band he deals death
around him, till, overpowered by
numbers, the manly chieftain sinks
in death's cold embrace. On seeing
their leader slain, the remnant of the
savage forces retreated in confusion,
leaving the field with the dying and
the dead to the victors. When he
fell Tecumseh was about forty-five
years of age. With the opportunities
of some great men. perhaps this no
ble son of the forest would have sec
onded none that have set foot on the
continent, of any color.
Training a. Heifer.
Cows usually become addicted to
kicking when heifers, from being
milked by abusive milkers. I have
never seen an old cow become a kick
er unless abused. Instead of cows be
ing averse to being milked when giv
ing a large quantity, I have ever
found it the reverse. When pastur
age is good, and cows come home at
night with udders distended with
milk, our "down cast" cows seem
grateful to have it removed. Milking
a heifer for the first time requires pa
tience, for they will almost invariably
kick. In such a case put a broad
strap around her body, just front of
the udder, and buckle it up moderate
ly tight, and as soon as she gets quiet
(for she may dance round a little at
first) take your pail, set down and go
to milking, for she is as- helpless as a
kitten. Do not attempt to iie a rope
instead of a strap, for it will not ans
wer. This is a much better method
than tying the legs, etc., as it does
not hurt the animal in the least. A
few applictinns of the strap, with
plenty of patience and kindness, will
cure the most obstinate case.
A recent German paper contained
a witty reply from a eleigyman who
was traveling, and who stopped at a
hotel much frequented by what are
termed in commercial parlance,
"drummers." The host, not being
used to have clergymen at his table,
looked at hiwi with surprise; the
clerks used all the artillery of their
low wit upon him, without eliciting a
remark in self-defense. The worthy
clergyman ate his dinner quietly, ap
parently without unserving the gibes
and sneers of his ueighbors.
One of them at Iat, in despair at
his forbearance, said, to him :
"Well, I wonder at your patience!
Have you not heard all that has been
said against you ?"
"Oh, yes, but T am used to it.
Do
you know who I am?"
"No sir."
"Well, I will inform you.
chaplain of a lunatic asylum ;
remarks have no effect upon me
I am
such
A Hint to Bachelors. A lady
named Mary Ann Eld ridge had oc
casion to send a note to a gentleman,
and put two r's in her first name in
the signature thus "Marry Ann Eld
ridge." The man was a bachelor,
and consequently took the hint
married Ann E dridge.
eg i & -
A poor sailor, wrecked on an un
known coast, wandered about in
'.-.m.j crfti.ix u.ivil Jt utiiix
seizedby savages, when he suddenly
came in sight of a gallows. "Ah"siad
he,
"thank God I'm in. a civilized
utry." ""
cou
GRADUAL MARRIAGE.
There is nothing better in all of
Theodore Parker's writings than his
little talk about marriages, in which
he says that a happy wedding Is a
long falling in love- Young persons
think love only belongs to brown
hair, and plump, round, crimson
cheeks. So it does for its beginning,
just as Mount Washington begins at
Boston Bay. But the golden mar
riage is a part of love which the brid
al day knows nothing of. Youth is
the tassel and silken flower of life;
age is the full corn, ripe and solid in
the ear. Beautilul is the morning
of love with its prophetic crimson,
violet, purple and gold, with its hopes
of days that are to come. Beautiful
also is the evening of love, with its
glad remembrances, and its rainbow
side turned towa.d heaven as well as
earth. Young people marry theirops
posites in temper and general charac
ter, and such a marriage is common
ly a good match.
They do it instinctively. The
young man does not say: "My black
eyes require to be wed with blue, and
my over-vehemence requires to be a
little modified with somewhat of dull-
ness aim reserve." w nen tne oppo
sition come together to be wed, they
do not know it, but each thinks the
other jut like himself. Old people
never marry opposites; they marry
their similars and from calculation.
Each of these two arrangements is
very proper. In their long journey
these young opposites will fall out, by
the way, a great many times, and
both get away from the road ; buteach
will charm the other back again, and
by and by they will be agreed us to
the place they will go to and the road
they will go by, and become reconcil
ed. The man will be nobler and
....... -5 . M .
larger for being associated with so
much humanity unlike himself, and
she will be a nobler woman for hav
ing manhood beside her that seeks to
correct her deficiencies and supply
her with what she lacks, if the diver
sity1 be not too great, and there be real
piety and love in their hearts to begin
with. The old bridegroom, having a
much shorter journey to make, must
associate himself with one like him
self. A perfect and complete marriage is
perhaps as rare as perfect personal
beauty. Men and women are married
fractionally, now a small fraction,
then a large fraction. Very few are
married totally and they only after
some forty or fifty years of gradual
approach and experiment. Such a
large and sweet fruit is a complete
marriage, and it needs a very long
summer to ripen in, and then "a long
winter to mellow and season in. But
a real happy marriage of love and
and judgment, between a noble man
and woman, is one of the things so
very handsome, that if the sun were,
as the Greek poets fable, a god, he
might stop the world in order to feast
his eyes with such a spectacle. Ex
change. u a i
Too Much. Credit.
Mr. Keene, a shrewd and thrifty
farmer of Allen borough, owned a
large thick of .sheep, ami one autumn,
when it came housing time, he was
greatly annoyed on missing a number
of his finest muttons, among them
three or four weathers which he had
raised and fattened for his own table.
He was sure it was not the work of
dogs, and the most he could do was to
await further development.
Qn the following spring, when his
sheep were turned out to pasture, he
instituted a careful watch, and ere
long he detected Tom. Stickney, a
neighboring farmer, in the act of pil
fering a sheep ; but he made no noise
about it at the time. Farmer Stick
ney was a mau well-to-do, and Mr.
Keene did not care to expose him.
Autumn came again, and upon
counting up his flock, Mr. Keene
found eight sheep missing. He made
out a bill in due form to Thomas
Stickney for the eight sheep, and pre
sented it. Stickney choked ami stam
mered, but did not back down. Like
a prudent man. he paid tho bill and
pocketed the receipt.
Another spring time came, and Mr.
Keene's sheep were again turned out.
Another autumn came, and the farm
er again took an account of his stock,
and this time fifteen sheep were miss
ing. As before, he made out the bill
to Tom. Stickney for the number miss
ing ; but this time Tom. objected.
"It's too much of a good thing,"
said he. "Fifteen sheep! Why,
bless your soul, I haven't had a fifth
part of them."
Mr. Keene was inexorable.
"There is the hill," said he. "and I
have made it out in good faith. I
have made no fuss when the sheep
have been missing, because I deemed
your credit good and sufficient."
"Well," groaned Tom, with a big
gulp ' I suppose I must pay; but,"
he added emphatically, "we'll close
that account from this time. You
have given me too much credit alto
gether some other rascal has been
stealing on the strength of it .'"
A "Settin' " Lot of Boyd.
Old fanner GrufF was one morning
tugging away with all his might and
main at a barrel of apples, which he
was endeavoring to get up the cellar
stairs, and calling at the top of hi
llings for one of his bov to lend a
helping hand, but in vain
When
he had" after an infinite amount of
sweating and tugging, accomplished
the task, atidjint when they were not
needed, of course the "boys" made
their appearance. "Where have you
been, and what have you been about,
I'd like to know, that you could not
hear me call?" inquired the farmer in
an angry tone, and addressing the
eldest. "Out in the work-shop, settin'
the saw," replied the youth. "Ami
you, Dick ?" Out in the barn, settin'
the hen." "And you, -ir?" "Up in
granny's room, settin' the clock."
"And you, young man ?" "Up in
the garret, settin' the trap," And
now,' Master Fred., where was you.
and what was you settin' s-ked the
old farmer of his youngest progeny,
the asperity of his temper being some
what softened by this amusing cate
gory of answers; "come, let's hear!"
"Out on the door step, settin' still,"
replied the young hopeful.
One of the saddest instances of
woman's faithlessness with which we
have ever met was that of a wife of a
man in Syracuse. It seems that the
couple had arranged that for six
months the husband was to get up
and make the kitchen fire, and that
the wife was to perform the task for
the succeeding six months. The
man's half year expired on the 2d,
and on the morning of the 3d the
woman suddenly died. He is nearly
UlUftvIl iiwO'vm "vi uic uiii lutiwu aa;
sa3d ifhe could only have foreseen
this bereavement, he would have
shuffle her out of bed at daylight.
every morning since May. j
VOL. 17. NO. 14.
SELECTIONS THAT IVILL DO.
"We hava lost our little Hannah In a very
painful manner.
And we often asked. "How can her harsh
sufferlnKS be borne?"
When her death was first reported her aunt
got ap and snorted.
For the grief that she supported, for it made
her feel forlorn.
She was such a little seraph, that her father,
who is sheriff;
Really doesn't seem to care if she never
smllfxfn tlfn(.,fn
She has gone, we hope, to heaven, at theear-
ly age of seven,
(Funeral starts off at eleven) whero she'll
never more have pain.
iilie had a purple monkey climbing on a
yellow stick.
And when lie sucked the paint all off, it
made htm deathly sick;
And in his latest hours he clasped that mon
key In his hand.
And bid good bye to earth and went Into a
better land.
Oh f no moro he'll shoot his sister with his
little wooden gun ;
And no more he'll twist the pussy's tall, and
make her yowl for fun.
The pussy's tail now stands out straight, the
gun is laid aside;.
The monkey doesn't Jump around since lit
tle Willie died.
Therfeath-angel smote Alexander McGlne,
ami gave him a protracted repose;
He wore a checked shirt and a number nine
shoe.
And he had a pink wart on hts nose.
No doubt he Is happier dwelling In space, ov
er there on the ever-green shore ;
His friends are informed that ids funeral
takes place
Precisely at quarter-past four.
Mrs. McFndden has gone from this life !
She has lett all its sorrows and cares;
She caught the rheumatism in both of her
legs
"While scrubbing the kitchen and stairs.
They put mustard plasters upon her in vain.
They bathed her wtlh whlskev and rum ;
Rut Thursday her spirit departed, and lull
Her body entirely numb.
Four doctors tackled Johnny Smith
They blistered and they bled him;
"With squills and antl-billious pills
And ipecac they fed him.
They stirred him up with calomel.
And tried to move his liver;
Rut all In vain his little soul
Was wafted o'er the river.
IIOIV GAS IS MADE.
"How do they make gas?"
"First, they put about two bushels
of bituminous coal into an air-tight
iron retort.
The retort is heated red hot, and, of
course, the coal is heated red hot,
when the gas bursts out of it, as you
see it bursls out of lumps of soft coal
when on the parlor fire.
The gas passes oil" through pipes.
A ton of coal will make 10,000 cubic
feet of gas.
1 he gas as it leaves the coal Is very
Impure.2'
"I low do they purify it?"
"First, while hot, it Is run oft into
another building ; then It is forced
through long perpendicular pipes,
surrounded with cold water. This
cools the gas, when a good deal of tar
condenses from it and runs down to
the bottom of the perpendicular
pipes. This tar is the ordinary tar
which you see boiling in the streets
for roofs and walks."
"They now wash the gas. They
call it scrubbing it."
"This is done by filling a large ves
sel, which looks like a perpendicular
steam boiler, half full of wood, laid
cross ways. Then 10,000 streams of
cold Croton water are spurted thro'
the boiler. Through the mist and
rain, and between the wet sticks of
wood, the gas passes coining out
washed and cleansed. The ammonia
condenses, joins the water and falls
to the bottom."
"What next?"
"Well, next the gas is purified. It
is parsed through vata of limeand ox
ide of iron, which takes out the car
bonic acid, sulphurated hydrogen, and
ammonia."
"What next?"
"The gas is now pure. It is passed
through the station meter, through
the mains ami pipes, till It reaches
the gas jet In your room. Then It
burns, while 3'ou all scold because it
don't burn better."
He
ifrllevcd.
The spirit of the gentleman (who,
by the way. had been somewhat se
vere in matters of discipline) was cal
led up, and held some conversation
with the boy. But the messages
were not at all convincing, and the
youth would not believed that his
"father had anything to do with them
"Well," said the medium, "what
can your father do to remove your
doubts?"
"If he will perform some act which
is characteristic of him. and without
any direction us to what it shall be,
I shall beleieve in it."
"Very well," said the medium ;
"we wait some manifestation fom the
spirit-land."
This wa no sooner said than (as
the story goes) a table walked up to
tho voutn, and, without
kicked him out of the roon.
"Hold on ! stop him !" cried
the
the
terrified youth convert; "that's
old man! I believe in rapping!"
The hero ha never since had a
sire to stir up the old gentleman.
ii"
"BuTTAir, Sah?" An amusing
coiloquy came oil" at a supper table
on board of one of our Mississippi
steamboats, between a Chicago ex
quisite, reeking with oil and cologne,
who was cursing the waiters, assum-
i ing consequential airs, and a raw
Jonathan seated by his side, dressed
in homepun. Turning to the vul
gar friend, the former pointed with
his jewelled finger, and said: "But
tah, -ah !" "Yes. I see It is replied
Jonathan. "Buttah, sah, I says,"
fiercely repeated the dandy
"Yes sir; I know It very
good, and a first rate article." "But
tah. I tell you !" thundered the dan
dy in still louder ton, as if he would
annihilate him. "Well, gosh all
Jerusalem, what of it!" now yelled
the down-easter, getting his d'ander
up in turn ? You don't think I took
it for lard, did you you? You must
be an everlasting fool, and, drat you.
if yon don't shut up your jaw, I'll
butter my fists and cram them down
your infernal throat. If you don't
hush up, I'll get mad ; do you here?"
Oncr upon a time in one of the
South Americ m Republics, the minis
ter of war requestd the minister of the
navy to place the navy of the repub
lic, consisting of one schooner, at the
disposal of the troops, so that tlioy
might have transportation to seat of
war. The minister of the navy sent a
courier to where the schooner was,
with the necessary order. The Lord
High Admiral wrote back r
"Your Excellency It is impossible.
You must be aware that this is a
schooner of sixty tons. There Is not
room for three hundred men in her."
The stern old salt in the navy office
wrote back :
lliuoiiMiC-iXiJtOj;. V'C J Oil! 11.
lira 1 ?i Inna ni.ctlinnlil o r-, ri K.l
Heave ft
the soldi
wit. i...wu.i..uuaj UI1U IHfintC
ers.
OFFICIAL PAPER OF THE C0UXTY,
A Puzzle.
There is a story of how a chamber
maid got twelve commercial travelers
Into eleven bedrooms, and yet to.
have given each a separate room.
Here we have eleven bedrooms.
3 12 3 14 jo 6 7 8 9 1 101 11
"Now," said" she. if two of you gen
tlemen will go into No. 1 bed room
and wait thprp n fw mimifps TI I
find a spare room for one of j-ou as,
rsoon as I've shown the other's to
their rooms.
Well, now, having bestowed- two.
gentlemen in No.l, she put tho third
In No. 2, the fourth In No. 3, fifth ir
No. 4, sixth in No 5. seventh in No.
6. eighth In No. 7. ninth in No. S,
tenth in No. 9, elevnth in No. 10.
She then came back to No. 1, v?here
you remember, she had left the
twelfth gentleman with the first, and'
said: "I've now accommodated n
the rest, and still have a room to
spare; so, if one of you will step into.
No. 1!, you will find it empty."
Thus the twelfth man got his bed
room. Of course there is a hole some
where ; but we leave the reader to de
termine exactly where the fallacy Is,
with just a warning to think twice as;
to which, if any. of tho travelers was.
tho "odd man out."
MtMcrllaneotiii.
The Rev. Mr. Yocum
pie In Cincinnati.
marries peo-
A lively advertisement
more than a dull one.
costs no
In Pennsylvania they call half
mourning "Pittsburgh sunshine." -
A Troy shoe manufacturer adver-.
tises for "five hand-sewed bootmen."
The list of American novels an
nounced for this fall comprises oyer
fifty titles.
A Vermont paper promises some
"miscellaneous" reading now that
the election is over.
Creswell says that the boy of to-day.
will see the time when letters will be.
sent anywhere for a penny.
Experience will teach any man that
it is advantageous to patronize thosq'
who advertlso In newspapers.
"The Search for a Publisher" is .
shilling manual published in London,
for the benefit of would-be authors.
To tell the truth, Boston's sister,
cities are secretly pleased at her noble,
determination to receive no pecuniary,
aid.
More than 10,000,000 pounds fo India
rubber gum nre used in one year In
the 150 india rubber manufactories or
America and Europe.
The English papers call steam,
whistle the "American devil." Wn
know better. He is the youth that
comes down stairs and asks for copy.
The latest example of laconic re
porting is: An Indian opened a can
of nitor-glycerine with his tomahawk,
and left. Search resulted In "no In
dian." Tho Albany Journal concludes f
cordial notice of .S'crifincr's Mothlt,
with the enthusiastic cry, "Long live.
Galaxy." Something was evidently
r mixed.
Somebody Inquiring at the Spring
field, HI., post-office for a letter ton
Mike Howe, received the grutl" an
swer that there was no letter there for
anybody's cow.
The Providence Herald man, after,
evolving 775 paragraphs on the horso
Jisorder, burst into tears because he
concludn't think of anything that
would make a good 77Gth.
Tho Chicago Times publishes an
article which claims to show that
there have bet-n nearly one hundred
murders in that city within seven,
years, "and not a neck stretched."
"If all the cities in the Union wera
reduced to ashes, you'd have a new
set of millionaires, in a couple of years
nr so, out of the trade in potash." So
asj's the philosopher, Oliver Wen
dell Holmes.
An old lady hearing that the shock
ing condition of the firemen's hoso
had resulted in the destruction of a
large amount of property, set up near
ly all night to put her husband's
socks in complete repair.
Charles E. Hulse of JefTcraonville,
Ky., Blended his lady love who was
sick with malignant variola, and died
in consequence. The papers said he
"died for love," but the disease had
every symptom of the small-pox.
A lady wished to have her hus
band's life insured in a Boston office,
the other day. giving as a reason that
she wanted either a husband or some
money, "the didirt care which." She,
never expected both at iho same
time.
When Miss Bruce, daughter of tha
British home secretary, was married
the other day, she was attended by
bridesmaid., of whom nine were her.
sisters. Poor Mr. Bruce! England
should look kindly on alJ his future
actions.
Nothing wa ever invented or crea
ted which a country publisher will
not turn Into account, if he gets tho
chance, in the wa of stirring up sub
pcribers to "pay up." the Hamilton
(Kan.) I-Wrman says, for instance:
"The Epizootic i in tho land. All
delinquent subscribers nvisi now set
tle up."
When yon m:?ie a sidewalk, yoif
want to get it'ver' narrow and very
: high, soinething like tho shape of an
egg. Then when anyone ilips on It,
! a leg will ge oiTat each side, and ha
, will be -pllt through to the chin, and
die without struggle, ami his wile can,
get the iiisiirace, and marry a man
j who wiM go into business and mafce
an assignment. On any other walk
a man will fall and cripple himself,
, and live on forj-ears after his wife is
ueuu, anu linn uie 5,m leave me 1U-.
surance money to hfs mother.
A young man engaged in making,
himself attractive to a young htdy wa
taken with a lit of coughing am
brought up two marbles he had
swallowed when a lioy. The joun"
lady dismissed him. Shp sakl' she
didn't want to marry a atone quarry.
Here is the ground-work for a first
class novel. A blind man was cross
ing Broadway, when he was on tho.
point of being run over by a reckless
hansome cab driver, and at the risk o
her own life a beautiful youug lady
ran to his rescue, and piloted the okt
man to the pavement in safety. " A.
rich (isrhflor saw the tansactipn, ami
straightway sought her out, "was iu-
traduced, courted, proposed. wa3 ac
cepted, and married to the heroine
without loss of time. The efleet of
this is wonderful. Hopeful young:
i ladies can be seen standing in tnT!
I vicinity of street crossings, with on
. eye searching for a stray blind man.
and the other on the look-out for;
a rich bachelor ; for i irp,uid n- 'art
awful bore f they should' tackle th
old man and have the bachelor a&
I where around. --'
m
' '11
i
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m
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