Image provided by: University of Nebraska-Lincoln Libraries, Lincoln, NE
About Nebraska advertiser. (Brownville, Nemaha County, N.T. [Neb.]) 1856-1882 | View Entire Issue (July 13, 1871)
:. ILiJ-'l W ?i t 3 '& r Pt li';i i;i iiij 4 ! w . 1 . p ?!l fi rrrssssvsssurKzasssx KsaasssKEsasscaRsa THE ADVERTISER. THURSDAY MORNIKG, JULY 13, 1S7L TAUIETIBS. There is in the following brief poem a charming picture of domestic life, heightened by an allusion to a ' -well-known incident in the life of "Washington : "Dear father, kv: up, Restrain tho hiccup, And Ull mc wlmt ailclh inn's forehead? Jt'rtnll blitclcnnd blue, Oh ? what could who do To cause a contusion ho horrid?" "Your mother, Jano Ann, A newspaper man, " AMxnlnsl. till I warned her she'd catch It; Lite; Washington, I Cannot toil ?i Ho I did It with my little hatchet." - A bad omen to owe men money. What is the key-note to good breeding? B-natural. To rob a man of his money is to wound him in the chest. .. "Out of sight, out of mind," as " the mad wag said when he faaw a blind lunatic. "- Several Chieagoans have lately died of throat disease superinduced ly lazors. . Who wn the wisest man ? Know or. "What did ho know? He knew Kiiough to go in out of the rain. Whatever Midas touched turned into gold. In these days, touch a miiu with gold and he'll turn into anything. - Paris, Ky., boasts of a horse wliiyh, having castashoe, jumped out . of his iue!o:tire, went to a blacksmith shop and had himself shod. A Chicago sportsman's idea of heaven: "I would have it a bound Jess prairie, with an eternal Septem ber, and Vtl have with me an ever Jastin' gun and a never dyin' dog. -. A Belfast gentleman wears an old fashioned silver fourpenec attached to his watch-chain, in affectionate re membrance of the time when it was the equivalent for a square, honest 'drink of old cognac. "God made him, therefore, let ltitii pass for a man," is the pious way iu which the Atlantic ((la.) Jicvulu tion heads an article in regard to a fel- low who passed a one dollar counter feit bill on a child iu that city. Poems are divided into three classes those that arc worth reading, and, therefore, are worth writing; those that are worth writing, but are . not worth reading; and those rhatare worth neither reading or writing. A gentleman v." ho carried around 'the contribution box at an Episcopal church the other Sunday, carried con spicuously in his hand a large bank bill as a decoy duck. When ho got to his seat he returned it to his wal let. Pastor Be-.kow, the most popular preacher in Sweden, draws Immense crowds in Stockholm; and yet he is said to have but one sermon, which lie presents in a thousand diilerent forms. 11a is known thero as the Jknleio3copic clergyman. Sidney Smith once gave a lady twenty receipts against melancholy : one was a bright tiro ; another to re member all the pleasant things said to her; another to keep a box of sugar-plums on the chimney piece, and a kettle simmering on the hob. In the midst of a heavy shower luring a prolonged storm, a little Miss was observed at the window crying bitteny. "What's the mat- i'm Taid." hurt you ; "Paid of FIJI ISLAXDS. "War ami Cajiaunllsm Tiie Troubles Among the Native. tor," she was asked. 'There's nothing hero to what are you ufraid of." JXouli I" One day Trotter slopped a man on the road who drove a miserable team of sick and aged little mulo3, and with the ejaculation, "Look a here, pilgrim, 1 know a man that would give eight hundred dollars if he could see them mules." "Why," exclaim ed the man, startled by such an un expected prospect of luck, yeou daon't say so. Who is he ?" "He's a blind man," said Trotter, "g'lang.n One of the importunate juveniles -who solicit pennies was asked, "Where is your mother?" She an swered dilT.dentlv, "She is dead," "Have you no father?" "Yes sir, but lie is sick." "What ails him ?" con tinued tho questioner. "JTo's got a sore finger, sir." "Indeed!" "Yvx hir." They why don't he cut it off?" "Pleaso sir," responded the little maid, "he hasn't got any money to buy a knife." A gentleman from Philadelphia vs recently commending a young friend to the notice of a Chica go merchant, and closed his appeal by saying: "He conies of a vorv irnnd The Honolulu Gazette publishes the following account of recent difficul ties in Ovalau : "The great topic of conversation here, and one which, to my mind, is of paramount importance, is the pies ent warlike aspect of the natives: not as yet toward the white population, but among themselves. At the back of this island, and only a few miles from the beach, Is a powerful tribe known as the Zicvoni. On the north end of the island reside another tribe, both being tributary to Thakombau. These two tribes appear to have had some differences, and had fought, the particulars of which were made known to the king by a chief named Cornelius. Upon obtaining this in formation, Thakombau sent over to the Levoni men, requesting them to desist from lighting. Tho reply was that they would kill the individual who had informed him of their do ings, and Avho they soon found out to be Cornelius. I should state that up to this time the people of all tribes in Ovalau had professed Christianity, and Cornelius was said to be a most exemplary and pious man, well known to the missionaries as a native teacher. Nevertheless, upon Corne lius making his appearance among them, he was instantly clubbed, hit body mutilated and then interred. Two days after his interment the body was exhumed, in accordance with ah old native custom, and a "man oven" wjis constructed and heated with red hot stones. Into this the body of poor Cornelius was thrust and baked like a pig. And then a barbarian feast was held by these beastly cannibals, who devoured every portion of the remains, picking the bones clean, aud reserving them as trophies. But this only whetted their appetite for hu man llesh-, and they mado another onslaught on their neighbors at the north end of the island, and have killed, I understand, about thirty, all of whom it is believed have been eat en. Masafu, who resides at Loma, and is a chief of great renown (the present owner of the yacht Xarifaj having some antiiathy to Thakom bau, takes the part it Is said, of the Bevoni cannibals, and has supplied them with powder, ball and muskets. Meanwhile Thakombau, with the chivalry which is characteristic of those powerful Fiji chiefs, sent to the Levoni to tell them to put un their war-fences, and to build their forts, as it was his intention, so soon as he got his army together, to come over to them and fight them. His majesty is now making vast preparations for this assault. Almost every day, from remote parts of his domains, war ca ll oca full of fighting men are arriving at Levuka, and taking up their resi dences at the native villages ; and there must now be some thousands of them congregated here. Fighting, indeed, has actually commenced. The Levoni are said to be escoused in an impregnable fortification, upon a rock. Yet it is also said they believe they will.be vanquished by Thakom bau, who no doubt will overcome them and put to death all the ring leaders, making prisoners of the rest, who, it is anticipated, will be sold to tho planters. It must be remarked that lheae Fiji belligerents are fully armed with muskets, (many breach loaders of the newest pattern) and re volvers, besides their spears and clubs, and arc most excellent shots. But they are not drilled, and their war fare is purely of the guerrilla kiud." aO SFKAGUE. A CJreen Sew Vorlccr's Trip to Provi dence Whnt He Sav end What lie Heard IIoiv He Xot Ils 3Ionej-. A New Yorker visited Providence and Narragansett Park during the re cent races. For the first few days af ter his return he answered all ques tions by simply saying, Sprague." During a lucid interval he made the following explanation : 1 left this city on one of the New York and Paovidence line of steam boats. On going through Hell Gate, I remarked to a fellow-passenger that the company provided comfortable and substantial boats for the Sound travelers. "The company don't own boats now, they have been sold these to a rich Providence man," replied my companion. "Who is the lucky man?" teprague. ; lamiiy; Doth his lather and grand father wore prominent men In the East." "Were they," responded the merchant, "that is good, but it is of no account to us here. There is less daddyism in Chicago than any other place in tho United States." Tho Dubuque Times says: "Thero ?s a difference between a frog and a . toad. There is a difference between preacher and a pickerel. A Hum boldt county preacher on the look out for a frog for bait, found a toad, load ed a hook with it, and went pickerel fibbing. Ho caught no pickerel, be cause, although he didn't know the difference between a frog and a toad the pickerel ;d id, and that's the dif ference between a preacher and a pick erol." The editor of a journal published in Antwerp sent a reporter to Brus sels for the king's speech, and with him a couple of carrier pigeons to take back the documents speedily. At Brussels he gave the pigeons in ehargo of a waiter and calbd for breakfast. He was kept waiting some time, but a very deiicato friease aton eu for the delay. After breakfast he paid his biii ami called for the carrier pigeous. "Pigeons," exclaimed the waiter, "why, you have eaten them." Tho daily "course of study" at Yassar college embraces two barrels of flour, five barrels of potatoes, one barrel of eofrce, one barrel of soup two hundred and sixtv pounds of poultry, one hundred "and eighty pounds of roast beef, two hundred quarts of milk, one hundred and six ty quarts of ice-cream, and eight hun dred eggs. It takes three years of this sort of thing to perfect tho girs in all the details of a first rate clun eal education. T. is a very pretentious young man of slender requirements, who af fects literature, especially in the pres ence of young ladies. On one occas ion ho brought down the houso by asking a lady if she had read Dick ers last novel. "The Diamond Edi tion ?" A most astounding blunder is the following: Seeing a copy of Bulla :Bookh lying on a centre-table, fie called attention to it, when somo- Pry,1,H(luired if be hfld ever read It. No he replied, "I have never read ony of Miss Bookh's poems." A New Haven paper says : "As one of our most regular conductors was running his train through a se vere rain storm, in passing from car to car his hands became quite wet, eo t,hat in making ohange for a lady the money Stuck toirethpr mnl Holo-rH the process ; for which he apologized! by saying, "The bills stick to my fin-! gere, tney are so wet." The lady was partly aaleep, but her reply awoke the conductor. "Yes, said she, in a drawling tone, "I have heard that money does stick to conductors' fin-gcrs-wheu they are wet but it al Yaysshpsoutof mine fast ua I can get it, wet or dry." " ' AN EliECTIUC JOIE. Some weeks ao, one of those ille gitimate sons of science, tho vagrant electric men, opened out in the street, with his dial for testing how much torture his voluntary victims could stand. To stimulatetrade, he kept a standing offer of $o to whoever could stand as much electric fluid a3 the machine would furnish. One day a boy presented himself aud announced that he had come to win that five dol lars. The man handed him the han dles, aud started the machine. The ' boy stood it wonderfully. The oper ator turned the crank faster, and ask ed the boy how it felt. The boy said it did not feel at all. The man thought something must bo the matter, aud commenced an elaborate tightening up of screws, and then, commenced another series of revolutions, which ought to have produced a current suf ficient to kill the boy ; still he laugh ingly assured the fellow that he did nwu t,vwn-iit;iiee uiosiigmesi sensation. Out of patience, the man demanded to see the hands, and the secret was explained. Tho boy bejonged to the telegraph ofliee, and had picked up a piece of insulated wire now being put up inside the office, and had passed it up one sleeve of his coat, around his shoulders, and down the other sleeve, and then uncovered the ends of the wire iu each hand. Thus armed h In the morning when within fif teen miles of Providence, I noticed a beautiful villa on tho western shore of Narragausctt Bay. A fine pier ran into tiie water. "Who owns that place?" said I to a Providence man. "Sprague." Just before reaching Providence a beautiful yacht passed us. She skim med over "the water as graceful as a swan. "There goes the fastest yacht in these waters," said the Providence man. "Who owns her?" "Sprague." On landing, I stepped into a horse car. It was very light, neat and clean. "I am glad to see that there is one company in the United States that knows how to run a horse railroad," said I to my Providence friend. "This is hot owned by a company. All the railroads in this city are run by one individual." "Who is that public benefactor?" "Sprague." On the way up town a number of large trucks, each drawn by four black horses, passed us. On the sides of the trucks L, read the words, "Sprague Mowing Machine Compa ny." In the Main street of the town a number of trucks loaded with dry goods boxes passed us. Tho trucks were labeled, "Sprague's Print Works."' "Let us take a walk up Hope street, said my Providence friend. Hope street was lined with aristo cratic mansions. One princely resi dence, with extensive grounds, hot house aud stables, threw them all in tho shade. Of course 1 enquired : "Who owns this place ?" "Sprague." "While driving out to Naragnnsett Park we passed a large factory sur rounded by several streets of cosy white houses, all' built alike. "Those houses were built by one man for his workmen to live in." "Who is It that cares eo much for the workingmen?" "Sprague." Arriving at tho park, my friend called my attention to a long row of substantial, handsome stables. "Here," snid he, "all horses intend ed to participate iu the races are kept free of expense." "Who does this hospitable thing?" "Sprague." "Now step into the grand stand, and look over the finest race track and surroundings in the world." "Who has douo all this?" "Sprague." Just then the bell rang to summon the horses for a trot. Out came Hen ry, Hotspur, Elmo and Rhode Island. They were all beauties. Rhode Is land was tho handsomest. His skin shone like black satin. He was full of electricity. "Who owns Rhodo Island?" "Sprague." I now thought I had a sure thing. I bet all nrry money. Surely the hotel' that would win that race would be Sprague's. Rhode Island lost the horse that came in last was Sprague's. ation of 2 feet 3k inches ; thai Railroad in Prussia, KEVOLTITIOX IS THE IIAHiHOAD SYSTEM. The finest engineering talent in the world has been for years busy in the andeavor to solve that difiicuife preb lem in railroading, "What can be done to reduce the "dead weight" of rolling stock V." The American Master Mechanic's Association, which met in Philadel phia last year, had a number of papers read before-them on this all impor tant question, and the discussions which ensued upon the point were among the most interesting of the proceedings. Since that time (and probably The germ was planted dur ing the meetings), the pro3 of the country have been busy in discussing the same question, and it has now be come a settled fact that the remedy only lies in what is known as the "narrow gauge." Mr. Spooner, engineer of the Fes liniog Railway, in Wales, was tho first man that built such a narrow road, connecting the slate quarries of Festiniog with Port Madoc, thir teen miles distant, and having car ried it to a success, expresses the opin ion that a 2J or 3 feet gauge is amply sufficient lor the transaction of all or dinary railroad business. The common railway gauge of ifeet S inches is far beyond what is neces sary for the ordinary requirements of either freight transportation or local travel. In Europe a number of these "nar row gauges" have been constructed, as is instanced by the system in Nor way, where the gauge is 3 feet G inch es ; in Russia, where lines are in oper- the Broel 31 inches; the Mondalazac RraiJroad in France, 29 inches, aud many others, all f them built after a thorough and im partial investigation on the subject, the point of the controversy beiugnot only a saving in the original cost, but an after increased dividend to stock holders in the operation of the road Very high authority in railroad matters has come to the conclusion that every inch added to the width of a gauge, beyond what is absolutely necessary for the traffic, adds to the cost of construction, increases the cost of working, and in consequence re duces the useful effect of the railway. It is estimated that the great ex press passenger trains of the country, with their cumbrous drawing room and palace cars, transport 3,000 pounds of dead weight per passenger. An increased beyond anything ever be fore witnessed during those trouble some limes. Mr. Yancey arose, and in a calm, dignified and self-poised manner peculiarly his own, commenc ed his reply. He described Mr. Hill as repeating slanders that had been uttered against him for the past twen ty years ; and that all which Mr. Hill had uttered, had been suiri innu merable times before by every third rate polititcian in the country; and continued by saying, "nature, had designed the Senator from Georgia as pn imitator; that ho had been cast in a certain die, and that it was vain to attempt to enlarge his dimensions." Pallid with rage, Mr. Hill mounted to his feet, and seizing a heavy glass inkstand, hurled it with all" of his might and power at the head of Mr. Yaucey, which, grazing iiis forehead, plowed its way to the skull ar.u pass ed on its turious course, craning a heavy window-facing beyond. With out turning his head, Mr. Yancey, who was at the time addressing the Speaker, continued his speech, delib erately remarked, "it is always the prerogative r.f cowards to strike from 1871. Great Through Southern & Eastern KAK5AS CITY, STJQSEPH & COU HC1L BLUFFS Kailroad. Line. 5W MILES TES SHOETEST BETWEEN Oisiaiia,CoiincilBInfi,s THE EAST AND SOUTH, FV.f AT. JOSJSPU, Making it tbc best and jnait direct Itouto from. BROWIVIIIE to Southern aud Eastern cities. TWO EXPRESS PASSENGER TRAINS Tavo Missouri lUvcr. opposite Omaha, dally, on arrival of Union paciiic J&nress Trains. The -t.30 2 Irfavc Missouri lUvcr. opposite Omaha, dally, on afternoon Kxpresa has MAGNIFICENT PULLMAN'S Palace bio opin& cars nxtacaoa. One running throucli to Qulncy, the otherthrough to St. Louis, WITHOUT C'HAXGK. Arriving at QUINOY or ST. L0UI3 in time to connect with fast Trains for thu JECast and South. 31EMEMUER, This is the only Line siving Passengers choice ol Houtes, either via Quincyortet. Louis. REGTJIiAIi CONNECTIONS. AT ST. J OS EMI with Hannibal A St. Joseph Kallroad for Qulucy, and all Eastern and Southern Cities. With the Savannah Branch or the Kansas City, yt. Joseph it Council Ututrs Itailroad for i-a-vanah, Maryville, Norway. c. With the St. J oseph &. Denver Uaiiroad for Troy, Wathona, and Northern Kansas. AT ATCHISON with Central .Branch Paciiic Itnilroad for Central Kansas. AT KANSAS CITY Union Depot, With North Missouri and Missouri Pacific Kail roads tor St. Louis, the East and South. With Hannibal t St. Joseph Kallroad forQuIncy Chicago and the East. With Kansus Pacific Railroad" for Lawrence, Topeka, and the West. With Missouri Ulcer. Port Scott AGulf Railroad for Paola, Port Scott, Kaa.ter bprings and Southern Kanas. With Kansas City & Santa Tec Railroad for Ot tawa, Garnet, Sc., &c. Passc-nsers who come West via other lines, should raturu by thi. route, giving them an opportunity to pass through the beautiful and fertile Valley or the Missouri, through groiuij cities and thriving vil lages. -31 .2m; Cor Your Tlelitlx via the Kansas City, St, Joseph k Council Bluffs Through Line. PULLMAN'S PALACE CARS ON NIGHT TRAINS. Tickets lor sale at all the General Ticket Ollices. A. C. WAIVES, A. .. UOPKIA'S, Gen'l Pass. Aent, Gen'l uixirliitendeut, St. Joseph, Mo. st. Joseph. Mo. grrfrr-j: vmj a mi i "XTeemwwgaagggsaasaesws jjmwj Mirtj HOT"! . .r IM'Mm Kferr t fi -SsM 433- Sflap- .Ti J.l.l.i.NHM'i g-TT Ball 9 1 JL ff "Wholesale and Eel ail -J 'l?src?tTfcV.tfcgSj .3u. Jlv -XT J- EXifidk A STSSTi r 5SF A&toJQ A . ' . ' " 3IcPJIER80jSt BLOCK, ISTo. 76 M.AJDN" ST., BUOWISILLIE, NED. s We have the Largest Stock, and make the Lowest Prices. - a u Xrf WW L H ri nt ?LJo U( Vf Jf Jy Manufacturer, Wholesale & Retail Dealer In E m v-t - lift' -.!. ! sv. -av rai 136S. rOKER IX AVASIIINtSTOW. How- the Gnmo Wloplnys a Man't, Cliar-ncier. that ina:i "iiu uiiu to mo eiecine man : of course, the uncovered ends of the wire pressed against the inelallc handles, presented a better medium than the hoy's body, and the current slmplv passed to them and along the insula ted wire around the boy's body, with out touching him. That electrician was very mad, and all the more so as the crowd drawn together thought it a good joke, and took the boy's part. The man was so laughed at "that he left town. Scientific American. AS Olil) JLADY IX A 15AJ) 3FIX. A very good widow, who was look ed up to by the congregation to which bhe belonged as an example of idetv, contrived to bring Iter conscience to terms for one littio indulgence. She loved porter; and ono d?v, just as she had received half a down "bottles from tho man who usually brought her the comfortable beverage, she saw two of the grave elders of the church approaching her door. She ran the men out the back door, aud the bottles under the bed. The weath er was hot, and while conversing with her sage friends, pop went 'a cork. "Dear mo!" exclaimed the good lady, "there goes the bedcord ; " "jnuu yessKruay uio same way x iuusl uave anotner ronn nrnvMnii In a few minutes pop went another, followed by the peculiar hiss of es caping liquor. The ropo would tio again ; but the good ladv was not at a loss. "Dear me!" said"she, "that cat of mine must bo at some mia chief under thero. cat!" Another bottle popped ofi; and the porter camo stealing out from under the bed-curtain. "Oh, dear me!", she said, "I had forgot; it is my yenst! Here, Prudence, come and 'take these bot tles of yeast away !" The last blow struck at woman's rights may be regarded as the "most uukindest cut of all." Mr. John Morrissey hns notified the public, through the Saraiogian, that hereaf ter women will be rigorously exclud ed from his gambling saloon at Sara toga Springs. It must not be suppos ed the tables for play have ever been opened to the geutlor sex, but yield ing to the appeals of feminine curios ity, Mr. Morrissey has hitherto per mitted the ladies to visit the lair of tho "tiger""a privilege which v.'ill In future be denied them. Certainly thia is an abrogation of sexual equality. Have not the wom en the same r.ht with the men to visit gambling houses, cr, for the matter of that, to sit down to tho no bltvgame of faro? Are they not to be seen around the green cloth at Ba den, and Hamburg, and Ems? Aud shall we not accord the same freedom with the eileto monarchies of Eu rope?, "One night at our club," says a wri ter in the Washington Chronicle, "iwo young fellows found out that there was to be a game, aud thej started together and fixed the cards so that every man woo should set down to play would haue an "invin cible hand." This was done bv work ing together diilerent packs, so when the cards were dealt everv should have the same hand exactly. Only the two youths were acquainted willi the facts. When the cards were dealt, the llr?fc man picked up his hand and by one glance saw that the five cards were invincible. AVithout a word, a look, anything, he simply turned down his hand upon the ta ble and waited. The next man took up his hand, looked at it, and turned as pale as death, lie saw that he had the invincible hand, one which could not be taken, and without a word he bet five hundred dollars. So the thing slipped around the table, but as two players were posted about the game, only three were good to bet. Our attention was altogether enlisted with tho chief players. The man whose cards lay upon the table was imperturbable, cool, and silent. "The man who held the invincible "Hush" in his hand was noisy, limy, wild. We watched them Loth, and saw how the old gambler kept his hand down and never examined it, never chuckled, never expressed any thing in his face, while tho other was all alioat in his wits, noisy, boisteroiiB and talkative. Finally the second man called tho first one. One thous and dollars were down on the table. remark, Mr. JliM. gathered a chair, dashed upon his antagonist, w n, heedless of the attack, was enntinr ing his remarks as calmly a3 if no,L ing had happened, when a number of Senators interposing, tho difiicnl ty was ended. Mr. Yancey's wound bled most profusely, and a scene of the utmost confusion prevailed. It has several times been stated since Mr. Yancey's death that it re sulted from injuries received iu this rencontre; but such is not tho fact, at ho died from a disease that could in no way have been superinduced by this cause. iia MUIU'S TIIE WORD. (From tbc Savannah Itepublican.) We think wo see the sigus of an early and acrimonious agitation on Federal politics by the boulliern press. We regret this, and on sever al accounts. The first is, that we con sider it unnecessary. Every man in the South holds substantially the same srntiments regarding the political sit uation, and therefore it is unnecessa ry. In tho second place, agitation implies that there are material difler enccsof opinion when there are not, and is obliged to result in harm. In the third place, the people need quiet, and should be kept free from all ex citement on public affairs. There is not the slightest danger of their vot ing away their liberties, unless they are looked after and kept in a fer ment, as some politicians seeintosup pose. The people are all right, aud will remain so if left to themselves. Fourthly, the South can now influ ence nobody by political discussion, except against herself. The very fact that we mark out a line for the Gov ernment will be sufficient to put the Northern people against it. Master ly inactivity is our true policy. The memories of the war have not yet po.sed away with th" Northern peo ple any more than they have with u, and as we are in a very small miori- ty wo cannot expect to dictate, nor to have everything just as wo would like Lit to be. llio great cnti ami aim ui present revolutionary faction which has control of the Government, and is hurrying it, with a'l tho niti. -iil! interests of the country, to ptrduiou. 0 m lftS!'tfaWSHS V.Z ; 'in W-W3&2 PL mi ww w ill ww iiW !$8 Eh Jten 1871. OPEN to THE WOULD fou -jnccutfaca r. N- an and Tsil sell yon all Jdnds of Implements g3k tiisi2i any otliei.' .nouse in Ja obraska. "WesGHtho Ho. Tl Main Street, ?.nw"ftr$7,8,T.Y.,E' V r 'J V A 0 3. i&AU. IASKA. H fliilinlntnr.ir Pnliinnf II . UOHUIsJUJH, uaullicl STUBEBAEEK AND WHITE WATiXv IfY Ma c3S o mai Qj A.ISTD 1R.J31PAJJEITNG; if ,. Done to Older, on Short Notice, in Workmanlike Manner, w5s,T3T'CV1r 'SSn. rTCra SS Cni KIBS'EWj.'J k-f jt jr K2W, AGS tCN-, y. vaa-UsrcK-- WYG-OjSTS, of all Emm. l' axelt CoiislaiLtly on X-Iancl. gruwnwmi ti Mjgi,iai KJJoargfrarjgafvwBXfigiLWJgoa 5uifli'u -jsnHBPTCnaEsnffw mwsiN ttEfaaot; P. WHOLESALE St, BETAIL W 'Wq sell th.e imuerCaltivatoiGardciiCitjClinperPhM. PSKIN TWO AUD 2HHES-HOHSS PLOWS SMITH'S Cast Cast-Steel PLOWS, EXCELSIOR and M FLOWS PRINCETON IKON-BEAU PLOWS, ALL KINDS OF CORN PLOWS. IL was a big time in poker. The first man flung out his hand all wild, and SKid in a bantering way to the other : "Now show out! VVhere are you ? "What have you got? "When the first man saw this oth er invincible ilush he turned as white as the other man. lie thought he had mistaken his hand and had lost the count on a card. lie turned it up ond lluug it out, and there they were both tho same. "Immedirtely there was a great roar of laughter all around the table; it was wonderful to see how these two men behaved. The man who had turned his cards down fathomed the joke in a minute, and rushing around "the table to tho other fellow, put his hands around his neck, kissed him aud called him "Johnny." "Tho man Johnny rose up and de nounced the world, cards, everybody wanted to light, and was as crazy as he had been before the hands were shown. "Such is poker at the capital. In lSt2 President Lincoln said to Gener al George Stoneman: "Stoneman, I think of giving the command of the Army of .the Potomac to Joe IJooker. What do you think about it?" "Hooker is a brave man," said Stoneman, "and has a fine presence, but I havj seen hinrin deliberate bat tle, and he did not impress me." "Where?" said Mr. Lincoln. "At ilia poker-table," said" Stone man, "you see, if as where, a man's whole character, his power to sustain defeat and loss, his adroitness, his ul timate strength or weakness. Now, Joe Hooker was fonder of cards than any man I ever saw, and vet he nev er won anything. Why? Because he lnnliprfiMiA honrhtdlnf i? ; m ;.,-? I - -----.. .v M... vws VW UiO IIIUUIIImO stauu jyjDjrjIUltH LIS "7"e keep for sale TIEIIE IBTTOIKIIE X 'ZED MobBiMrluiMBottU ',! HOP' uuuiiijn M Appkopkiatk NA5U3S. The fol lowing names are indeed appropriate for the uses mentioned : Por an auctioneer's wife Uid-dy. For a general's wife Sally. For a sport's wife Bet-ty. For a fisherman's wife Nel-ty. For ashoein Aer's wife Peg gy. For a teamster's wife Car-rie. For a lawyer's wife .Sue. For a printer's wife Jim. For a druggist's wife Ann Eliza. For a carpet man's wife Mat-lie. Woman was toasted in the follow ing style at a recent military dinner: "Woman pure as a snowfiake that falls upon the cold neaks of tie Bo-- tir.n Alps ; beautiful as the houri that bathes herself in the crystal fountains of the Moslem paradise ; graceful as the Peri afloat on her shell smfi' over the calm waters of the dark blue sea ; vain, worse than vain, the warning to guard the heart when intellect flashes from h-r bright eye, and the light of the sou! is breathed like mu sic upon her face." A dandy of twenty-six having oeen icrmeu vn oia oac.ueior," ap pealed to an elderly gentleman to de cide whether ho should be called old or not, giving his age. "Twenty-six," said the elderly gentleman, "it is ow ing to how you take it. Now, for a man it is young enough ; but for a goose it is rather old." Young men who use perfumed note paper and elaborated red and gilt monograms, tinted cards, embroider ed handkerchiefs and shirt fronts, lace neckties and fancy sleeve-buttons, must not be surprised if they are considered effeminate and fopo3n. g-lnlr ?arsjKB 2Sb. 30 MAIN STREET, BK,0"VvrIsr"V"I31,lliS. IsTZEIIB. &? ft 53? ? ifcss icSt V HARDWAI LJJIi 1?T FS tr "j- 71 rn ?( &&&&&MME& WHOLESALE AXD JiETJTL J)iLi )17 CITVW I i 9 I' 1 BROWNVELLE, XQ3e2QJ5CZ23S89E3iffi2K38G533aSS53: ES. do. j IX1C JHZT STOVE, - - - NEBRASKA. VSS3S&X&5TZ&3GZ531X50eSg5iSaaiSl. I?on iLutnwARE Axi'rrn .ry. csiimw. Ij. ShelU-iifcwgar. . 71 iuc street, 2iclier seaBlyci.BrcHiiiUl; 5stl. dwtf l-a M "5 ten ' FFtvSisWvy jl " rn Sis WJSPC$5N2 0J C Vfr;' Ml? 5 Oh W?fff B Also the rl.l J v jv- .? V A&ftgsmim $M G dect. m SX -s T inc. Lrvz raxcc) WORLD. &l ATTnriC HteT lAO-f Also, on hand a choice stock of READY MADE GOODS! which he .t1U Sell Very Low for Cask ! Ho would call Hie attor.tlon of the i-uhlic to the fact that lit- has an extensive experience in the manufacture or Custom Work of the fin ojurJlty: and thoso who want Hoots and bhoes U) Fit Well, LooU IVell and Wcai? ITolI, will not bs OUsrplaiGd. Iluots anif Slices XcalJy nnf I'mrnptly KepaireU. 35-tf Now York OSce, 27 BEEE3IAK ST, "W. T. D3EN, IS THE ONLY HAN IN BROWNVILLE WHO KEEPS THESE (.UN'S I'UK SALE, 31-ly ' m i - - -- - .ti ! i i . - -f -i. rn 's mr Tsmt tf- .r ": i.A. mar i. ;' t -v x: ??"" .rx I'glV :-' - -?. u, : -' "Lr '&: Vv- z9-2r: V-esr immijiir. -j. -irjs- ,.-' m'EYg & j -&'& psi BIBLE MEN lTANTED OH &ALAKV AND COinU.-sSIU. AVe a v pij-lnR from Si 00 toSlOO jier.tlontli for Goon mkx. to sell PROF. STOWE'S CoinirelH,n5ire and. '. -Intrrprftlne c FAMILY BIB3LE. Send for circulars, or call ami examine this won (JitPjI w Tk. Al-u our -pTendi'l. new The ot'v nice on 1 lwre l.aa lone bcor. n jfrat il. mand for th:s wlUi.Ii wo ar- new ble tomt-t Thr tale will he h-.rjre. In wnihir tntu joar bcfelite e-Tixirierwe. and laincrrfrrcmv. f. A. ST01XA.ni A CO., MS Washing top Sr t. ghicago. Zt-ltm QU B5CKIBK fcr the " Weekijr j.erertber." OW-. O fttparcria At 5UUe. - E? &&&z&giSm,W9 IISIOVEIZD FOB 1871 Most Durable and Lightest Machines Math I c I IF 00 III II ITOIOt. pn it mi. &&m mi a hw um i ny Aon mn i v 1 AVE KEEP NOTHING BUT FIRST CLASS GOODS, AND GUAK' TEE ALL OUR GOODS TO BE AS BECOMaIENDED. A full Supply of Extras always on HainH n