Nebraska Newspapers

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EBRASKA ADVERTISER
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One square (tea lieu or Ui...c.iva U
&b additional ir.sertbn " 1
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Use culussa eoyar " ' -Oaehalf
eoaaa eneyfer
. Oaefvurt!il colsaaca
One ibd column me jsar
Cce eolsasiix aonvbt -Ona
naifaolaaa Lz moc&s
One fourth roiuaia nx months
One eighth eoluian tix ejcb;! J
GEO. V7. HILL : CO,,
. irtifr Block. Main St Btwa 1st h si
u
.y Ay Ay
One eoiuaa tilts tassiii
One bf evlaca ti.-;
Oaefoertb eclutniihrf s cf.
TERMQl
One eijjb tb colaaa thre rsvM.
.1
Att Corr.o'r' ln ,r,ne' " St so
&40riptioD, inut Iptariably, be paid la Advance;
4 1 ook Work. and Plain and Fancy Job Wert,
j tie test stle. and on snort notice.
AlUrattiiuSiUveruaecai mult Ve p!-t In J'
DCt.
Yearly ajTerti3ati quarterly ia airacc.
AJ! kind of Job. Bock, and Card triotinj, dca la
LIBERTY AND UNION, ONE AND INSEPARABLE NOW AND FOREVER."
jiba bsitj! oa ilortactica an4r0Lab!terat
VOL. IX.
BROWNVILLE, NEBRASKA, THURSDAY, AUGUST 31, 1865.
NO. 50.
Ml I 'y
i . V 1 it
11
30 FIN ESS' CARDS.
H. C. THUI.MAN,
.pjjnsicianS 5mnon
. ...
AU2EICAIT-C0-USS
cd. uoiiixsox.pnopnicTon,
Front Street, ttween Main and Wairt-
PROWNVILLE, NEBRASKA.
if
T G. 91. nCXDERSOA',
flEXt&AL PEALEE IX
STAPLE AIID FAIiCY DRYJGQODS,
BOOTS & SHOES
lltia Street between First and Second,
BrownvlllOf HCoty. rt-y
JAMES MEDFORD, . ;
CABINET - MAKER
AND
Comer 2od zitd Maiu Sireets,
bbowsv:;... ?r. t.
b tr pared to 4o f B : -.r
lort ftottea and rca Jp"eTA
J. B. JORXSON".
OFFICE WITH L. flOADLT,
Corner Main and First Streets,
BUOWXTII.X.E, ICEDRASltA.
J. A. HEWES.
ATTORNEY AT LAW
AND
Solicitor in Chancery.
USD AND COLLECIKG AGENTS.
BBOWHVILLE M". T.
Mar . f. .
. T. STKWAUT.MD. A.S. ROLLADAT, MD.
FHYSIC1A11S AND SURGEONS.
(Mtb Eaat rorner of Main and First Street
UROITXVIL.I.E, XELIIIASKA.
OrricK Hom-7 to 9 a. m. and 1 to and 6 to
BmwBTilla, KfbraVa, May Mb, 1865- No 34, ly.
C, II. TTALKCR.
3l)otograpl;ic Elliot
(Successor to W. M. C. Perkiks)
Oxk rocR vrsr rp tt- :: ..wkvillk Eorsi,
BuOW.WiL -fc N. T.
1'l.W. invitpp .it'sti. t. hf e Card or Album
pBotorrphi,itio hi bvaattfol Irnry-like Arabro
TPi vbich are pr ivrrealty udm'tted to be equal
koarj piruiueod in this, or ary other country.
!U w r eir bit nndirided attenMon to tho Som
nti, -; hoyx to merit a hare o'" public patron
g. itirfurtion gaaraateed. S-43
inrs.iH.lt).cmclt,
HiHinery & Fancy Goods
Main Street one door west of the Post Offlce
ini01Y,YrILLC? HX II It ASK A.
A iuieriAr stock of Spring and Sumnaer Good
JitrceiTe(i. KTerytbing in the Millinery line
pt eonitantly on baid. Dreas-Makiog, linnet
BiMchincand Trimming done to order.
rct, 1865. T-n--28ly
BACK TO THE OLD STAND !
KICKS. MTCISS,
A5D
ft
JOSEPH
S II U T Z
retpectrall Ipirre b"
ante opened bit J-Mrf'.i ? 5u-p m his d nwd on
b street, soetb W" two j.-..r& e?st of tr e Lr wn
Hoo us) serrc on a r-p'o! -iii Riscirtc,it
'erTtLlni in bu 'r.t f tsicces, vti' te wm
' ea Us low! er r f r Cut i
tu'-'!i-.r,,5 that he
W C'.ockn wtrbj- . jff't(i re cn tea isri-
t Xotite.
WORK 'V .A TJ P li TED.
yrtTllle, Keb.. Mky ? is 134. nf7.vft.ly
J. F. MORHIS
Successor te ft. Brown K Co.)
VviU resiMtctsaMy announce to the Cltteen of
Tttle and rleinlty, that be has purchased the
wrse anfl Well selected storK
E el "itt r-
or
I3ICI11ES. PAU1TS, iC.
9
v," MsnrM lbs public seoerslly, that he will kee oa
or n erowk Co
rTr7 tbdnt usually keept la
FU&t Class Drug Store,
ii l5.R'WOS8 AK0 O&DFRS CAEIIXLLT nLLfI
HOURS.
BROWNVILLE, NEBRASKA.
ta-B-iy
"SincH IH TIHE EAVE3 EUTIT'
; LOUIS TALDTER,
itii . tKt 'et refciJ perform all work, par.
'Ctebisbttsneiss.
How and ign painting, gtaiinr, and paper bang
mil - 1 ,Dort not,Cft d b most arrroTed
Termsewb. Girebim aeall.
He it prepare t do all
.WALE COLORING
M cbMpeat style Icr caa.
InUe, April T, ly.
E. S. 15DUNS, M. D.,
PHYSICIAIl Ct SURGEH 1
XJomaliA, City, 3?
OFFICE AT 1113 RESIDEXCE.
Aif.8tb,.l8CS d47-t9-1j .
EDWARD T7. THOLIAS,
ATT,0RHEY D AT LAW,
SOLICITOR CHANCERY,
- Offce crcer of Main and Plrtt Streets.
BROWNVILLE. NEBRASKA.
c. o.DCkEsir. . 8.M. ica.
-DORSET & BICO,
lltcnwijs at Cam,
And
COSI3IERCIAL COLLECTORS.
Ofic S. E. com9r Main and Firtt Street $,
BROWNVILLE, NEBRASKA.
Will gire prompt attention to all buines en
trusted to them ia tbe varioua Courti of Nebt&sVa
and Nortb Miwonri: also, to tbo Collection cf
Bounty Money, Back ray, and Pension ; aal tv
tbe Payment of Xaxea. 9 40-yl
BEDFORD & CO.,
SEALERS I
WW trams
BOOTS a;d snoEs, IIATS and caps
Qaeensware, Catlerj, etc,
MAIN STREET.
BRO WITVTLLE, ITEBIIAS IT A.
C. W. WHEELER,
CABINET-MAKER
AND
CARPENTER.
IlaTlrj opened op permanently on
ZXaIxx Oti'oot,
One door above tbe Baltimore Clothing Store, if
prepared to do all kinds of work in his line in the
rery beet and style. Particular attention giren to
Contracts. t-d m p'd
Jlcctln of School Examiners.
Notice is hereby giren that the Board of Seboo
Examiners of Nemaha County, Nebraska, will bold
meetings for the Examination of Teachers for
said County, at tbe Bice of E. W. Thomas,
in RrownviUe,o the lt Saturday in erery month,
between the hours of one an l 3 V. M, Applicants
for eertifieatrs are required to be present at one
o'clock, precisely, or they will not be examined.
No person need apply at any other time.
By order of tbe Hoard,
E. W. THOMAS, Clerk.
April 1st, -yly
JACOB MAKOHN,
HEECIMJT TAILOR
BROWNVILLE, NEBRASKA
Calls the attention of Gentlemen desiring new. Leu
ervtcable and fashionable
WEARING APPAREL
to ms
HEW STOCK OF GOODS.
JUST RECEIVED,
BKOAD CLOTHS. CASSIMERS, VISTINGS Ac.. .
OF THE VERY LA TEST STYLES
'S'uUb he will sell er make up. to order, at unpreci
der.te1 low itrics. Ravine; on hand one of
SINGER'S SEWING MACHINES,
be ic able to do Custom work at rates that defy cocnp
I warrant uy work.
tland as frell as machine TV ork.
Those wishing any thins ia his line will do well to
call ani examine his stock before investing, as ha
pledges himself to hold out peculiarly farorsble in
ducement January 1st IMS p'd to Oot. 16th 1865.
CHOICE LIQUORO.
Wholesale and Retail
Evan TTbrthin
8;
OF THE
BROWSVILLE,
Hss Jntt Received the largest and best STck m
Liners sl4 Ciaars ever offered In this market, and
40 l tLeui aa low aa any Bouse in tbe Territory.
TFIIITNCTTS DLOCU,
Main Street, BrownTille
Tab.4.64yIy.
GRANT'S
CAXAP CASH STORE.
Jtfain Strut teiiceen First and Second.
BRO WITVILLE, N. T.
. WX baveln stnrt alarge snd well selected stock ef
Boots and Shoes,
Finest Quality of ScrrEer Shoes,
WHICH BB OFFERS FOR BALK
CHEAP FOR CASH
Groceries of Every Kind,
SutT. Coffee,
Tea, Soda,
Allspice, Fepper,
Candles. Tobacco,
Matches, Starch,
All of rbirh be onr at the loet ftken. 4eter-
mined not to be uvuer?li.
fR ANT-
fcrewnville, Kb.,
THE FE HALE , CIRCLE-1
- We met, 'twas in a crowd,
Iler crinoline was spread;
Sbe seemed soma mighty eone,
With a dumpling for a head. :
. Gad t bow sbejlew around I
And how was I amaied.
- When "that expaase of skirt
From off tbe floor she raised.
1 flawed her graeeful motions,
As swift sbe wh irl ed abou t ;
While the waltcers sbanaed her trask,
As do "tars" the waUr-spont.
Now skimming high la air,
Upturned those hoops did go,
Displaying legs and ankle
As well as pretty toe.
Like aralaneha descending
Again they sweep tbe floor,
Creating draft as powerfal
'As from aa open door.
.L'sartG help the aclaeky en
Revolving In her wake,
' Who might receive the shock
If anything should break !
How be Came to be Married.
It may be fuoy, but Ir'e done iu I've
got a rib and a baby. Shadows depart
ed -oysters stews, brandy cock-tails, ci
gar boxes, bootjacks, abscond shirt but
tons, whist and demijohn. Shadows pres
enthoop skirts, band-boxes, ribbons,
garters, long stockings, juvenile dresses,
tin trumpets, little willow chairs, cradles,
bibs, paps, sugar teats, paregoric, hive
syrup, rhubarb, senna, salts, quill- and
docrcr bills. Thaddows future more
pound babies, more hive syrup, etc, etc.
I'll just tell you how I got caught. I
was always the darbdesi, most tea cus
tard bashful fellow you ever did see ; it
wat kidder in tny line to be takeu with
the shakes every tune 1 saw a pretty gal
approaching me, and I would cross the
street any time ruiher than face one ;
twasn't because I didn't like the critters,
forif I was behind the fence looking at
a knot hole I couldn't look at one h tig
enough. Weir, sister Lib gave a
party one night, and I siayed away frcn
home because I was too bashfull to face
the music. I hung around ths house
whistling '01d Dan Tucker" dancing to
keep my feet warm, watching the heads
bobbing up and down behind the window
curtains, and wishing the thundering par
ty would bteak up, so I could get to my
room. I smoked up a bunch of cigars,
and as it was getting late and mighty
uncomfortable, I concluded to shin up the
door post, no sooner said than done, and
I soon found myself snug in bed.
Now," says I, "let her rip ! Dance
till your wind gives out.'' And cuddling
under the quilts, Mcrephus grabbed me.
I was dreaming of soft ahell crabs and
stewed tripe, and having a good time
when somebody knocked at the door and
woke me up. Rap" again. I laid Jo w.
"Rap, rap, rap,!" Then I heard a whis
pering, and I knew there was a whole
r?.'t of c!s outside. "Rap, rap,!" Then
Lih :-:ngs out:
" J;.lL are you there ?"
"Yes, says I."
Then came a roar of laughter.
"Let us in," said she.
"I won't" said I, "can't you let a fel
low alone ?"
"Are you a-be d ?" says she.
"I am," says I.
I won't," says I.
By thunder ! I began to get riled.
'Get out, you pettcoated scare-crows!"
cried I ; "can't you get a beau without
hauling a fellow out of bd ? I wont go
borne with you I won't so you may clear
out!"
And throwing a boot at the door I felt
better. But presently oh 1 mortal not
ions ! I heard a still small voice, very
like sister Lib's, and it said: -
-Jack, you'll have to get up' for all the
girls things are there."
Oh, Lord, what a pickle ! Think of roe
in bed, all covered with shawls, muffs,
bunnets and cloaks, and twenty girls out
side the door waiting to get in ! If I
had sloped to think I .should have pan
caked on the spot. A itwasl rolled est
among the bonnet ware and ribbons in a
hurry.. Smash went the millinery in
every direction. I had to dress ia-the
dark for there was a crack in the door
and tbe girls will peep and the way I
i fumbled about was deatLcn straw hats.
i - .
! The critical moment came. I opened the
. door and found mypelf right among the
women.
"Oh, my Leghorn !" cried one, 'My
dear darling winter velvet !" cried anoth
er, and they pitched ia they pulled ma
this way a ad that boxed my ears, aad
one jbrighteyed, little piece-UJ;lnr
name was-- pm her arms right areas py
neck, and kisaed me xihton c.y lVr:
Human nature couldn't - stacd-'Cat, Cli I
gavt as good aa.jrhe' seat Ir cii li
first time I ever got the taste, and ft ttx
powerful good, l-beleive! could hif
kissed that gal from Julia Cesar ta &
Fourth of July.
"Jack."said she, we are sorry la dis
turb you, but won't you see ot fce&t!"
"Yes," said 1, 4 wiU"
1 did do it, and another smack at tha
gate, too. After that vre took i ki&er
turtle dove after each other, both etna
sighing like a barrel of oe cider, when
we were away from each other. Tas at
the close of a glorious summer -day the
sun was setting behind a hen-roost, the
bull-frogs were commencing their even
ing songs and polly-wogs, in thai r native
iindptidle?, were preparing themselves
for the shades of night, and Sal and my
self sat on an antiquated backlog, listen
ing to the music cf nature", such as tree
toads, roosters and grunting pigs, and
cow and then the music of . a jackass was
Wafted to our ears by the gentle xephyrs
that sighed among the mullen stocks, and
came heavy laden with . the delicious
odors of henroosts and pig-styes, - xa
last lingering rays of thesetticj tia,
glancing from the buttons of a 'ac!imy
horseman, shone through a knot feole ia
a hog-pen full in Sals face, dyirj her
Lair an orange peel hue, and showisj cfT
my threadbare coat to a bad adra&tage;
one of my arms was around Sal's waist.
my hand resting on the small of her
back, she was toying with my auburn
locks of jet black hue; she' was almost
gone and I was ditto She looked like
a grasshopper dying with the hiccups,
and I felt like a mud-turtle chocked with
a codfish ball.
"Sal," says I, in a voice as musical as
the notes of a dying swan,' "will you
have me ?"
She turned her eyes heavenward,
clatped me by the hand, had an attack
of tbe heaves and blind staggers, with a
sight that drew her shoe strings to her
palete, said :
"Yes." J
She gave clear cut, then, and squated
in my lap. I hugged her till I broke my
suspenders, and her breath emelled of
onions she had eaten two weeks before.
Well, to make a long story short, she
sat the day, and we practiced for four
weeks every night and day how we would
enter the room to be married, till we get
so we could walk as graceful as couple
of Muscovy ducks. The night thf 'ccm
pany and the minister came, the eignal
was given, and arm in arm we marched
through the crowded hall. We were
just entering the parlor door, when down
I went gerslap on the oilcloth, pulli&g
Sal after me. Some cmsed fellow had
dropped a banana skin on the floor and
it floored roe. It split an awful bole, in
my cassimeres, right under my dress-coat
tail. It was too late to back out; so
clasping my hind over jt we marched in
and were spiced, and taking a seat I
wacthed the kissing the bride operation.
My groomsman was tight, and he kissed
till I jumped up to take a slice, when, oh
horror! a little six-year old imp had
crawled behind me and polled my shirt
through the hole in my pants, had pinned
it to the chair, and jumping up I display
ed ittn thft.adrnirinor Rseof the aston
ished multitude a trilie more -IT.--
muslin than was pleasant. The women
giggled, the men roared, and I ot cad,
but was finally put to bed and htt cay
troubles endek. Good night, q
John Nichols writes from J.lcSftiHa,
Crawford county, Pa, ; that eat ef bis
neighbors has inventented a msth-lf sp,
which is effectual. It is simply a box.
with a moveable top, and frames which
hold pieces cf comb, convenient to remore
for examination and destructioa ef the
moth, which enters through holes, and
deposits its eggs in the comb. This box
is placed by the side ef the hire, and
furnishes a perfrct hiding-place for the
moths, where the bees do not raciest
them, and where they can be destroyed.
The . theory is that the mo'h will cct at
tempt to emer the bite while it caa ti
a much better place in the box. Y. Y.
Triitijos.
It is also said there aire hires with en
trances so guarded witb little tia doefs
that thft fees can, and he taoths caotsot
enter.' . ' ; :"
Even in these late ages the horse-shoe
is not unfrequently seen nailed over the
door of the cabin or cottage, to "charm"
away misfortune, or to "keep off" dis
ease. ' There are intelligent men who
have carried a buckeye in their "unmen
tiozxble" pockets for years, to "keep off"
fiUa l. Children can be found at school
cay day, with little bags of brimstone at
tidied to their necks by a strin?. to
'klep' off" some particular malady.
There are many young gentlemen and
ladies whe have half a dozea ''charms
attached to their watchchains, it beicg a
remnant of the ancient superstition. We
give a pitying smile at the mention of
these absurdities, for we know then to
te unavailing. . But there are "charms"
ajaiast human ills which are powerful
to save from physical, roentat, and moral
calamity!
Hearing about ia one's heart the sweet
memories of a mother's care, and affect-
ton, and fidelity, often has a resistless
power, for many a year after that dear
mother has found her resting-place in
heaven, to restrain the wayward and the
unsettled from rushing- into the ways of
wicked and abandoned men. John Ran
dolph, of Roanoke, used to repeat in his
Inter years, and always with qnivenng
lips, that while he was quite a young
man, in Paris, he wa repeatedly oa the
point of plunging recklessly into the
French infidelity which was so prevalent
during the terrible "Revolution" of the
time; tut was as often restrained by the
remembrance of that far-dt3tant time,
when yet in his infancy, his mother used
to have him bend bis knees before her,
and, with his little hands in hers, thought
him ia sweet but tremulous tones, to say
nightly, "Our Father who art," etc.
Tens of 'housond are there ia this wide
land who, by the "charms" cf the tem
perance pledge, have gone out iato the
world, singly and alone, to battle with its
snares, and temptations, and sm ; they
have been surrounded at every step by
the great temper, with the allurements
of passion and pride ; of settetrtl gratifi
cation and of corrupting association;
but keeping their eye steadily fixed on
the beautiful "pleage," to "touch not,
taste not" the accursed thing, they have
bravely come off conquerors, and to day
stand in their might the pillars of soei.
ety. Young gentlemen, and young la
dies, too, make it yonr ambition to bear
about you "alway" the "charm" of the
"pledge!' of reverence for the Sabbath
day and the holy memories of a sainted
mother's religious teachings, and you will
pass safely to a ripe old'age of happiness
a&d health. HaWs Journal of Health.
A" Wife In Distress.
"Pray tell me, my dear, whaf is the
cauie of those tears ?"
0, such a disgrace!"
"What is it, don't keep me in sus
pense ?" '
"O, I have opened one of your letters,
supposing it to be addressed to myself.
Certainly it looked more like Mrs. than
Mr."
"Is that all ? What harm can there
be in a wife opening her husband's let
ters?" . "No harm in the thing itself but the
contense. Such a disgrace !"
"Who has dared to write me a letter
unfit to be read by my wife ?"
"Oh, no, it is couched in the most
chase and beautifnl language. But the
contects ! the contents !''
Here the wife buried her face in her
up the letter commenced reading ths epis
tle that had nearly broken his wife's
betrt. It was a bill from the printer for
two yeaVs ecpscription to the Standard.
An ex-slave applied the other day to a
lawyer ia Maryland fof the festoration
cf his boy of sixteen, who had been ille
gally apprenticed to his forttfer master.
In reply to the lawyer's question whether
be was capable of taking care of the boy,
the father said : "Well, massa, I ruther
ticks I's capable as him, for you see dat
ole massa has done gone and hired de
boy out fur fou' dollar a moath. aa pat
de money in his pocket ; and I spec's I's
capable of dat kind of kere, anyways!'
The following is from uck, a new
fanny paper in California :
The Gridiron To take down the grid-
irca fron the nail where it is hanging.
with the left hand, is H sign that there
will be a fcroil in the kitchea.
The Mirror If a mirror is broken. il
is a sign that a good loakirig'lass will be
missed in that heme.
A Funeral To meet a funeral proces
sion is a sign of death.
Pocket Book To lose a pocket book j
containing greenbacks is unlucky.
Nails If a woman cuts her nails every
Monday, it is lucky for her husband.
Roosters If you hear a rooster crow
whea you are ia bed, and the clock strikes
a few times' at the same instant, it is a
siga cf no(u)raicg.
Aa Itching Ear If you have aa itch
tog ear, tickle your nose, and you will
have an itching there, aad ill luck will be
arerted.
Salt To spill salt accideatally iato a!
stew while it is ca the fire is a proof that
the family will mtet with its alterations
(alter rations).
A Cat When a cat prepares to wash
its face it is a siga that oae ia the boose
will shortly receive a licking.
War.ts To hare sixteea warts ca the
left hand is unlucky ; to to hare the same
number ca the right hand is a siga you
are unfortunate.
Spirits If a married man, while his
wife is in the room, takes up a bottle of
spirits with his right hand, it is a siga
that she will shortly be out of spirits, and
that her husband is goias to liquor.
Stock Raising If a one-eyed bull dog
flies at a stock raiser's legs, it denotes
thnt a misfortune will happen to his
calvs.
Bridal If you get on horseback on
Monday before the sun is up, it is a sign
you will hare a hand ia a bridal.
Lucky To stroke a greea-eyed cat
with a white spot oa her ncse is lucky,
and heavy purs will be .the corns
quefice. Marriage If you are in a house and
hear a baby cry, it is a siga cf marriage
or if it isn't it ought to be.
. Hed Hair-Ifta red-hairtd man falls in
lore with a girl who dislikes hair of that
color, he will very likely dye before he
is married.
The abot e signs aad portents may by
strictly rolled upon ; they have never
been known to faiL
.
Among all the improvements in mod
ern mechanism, says the Chicago Trib
une, the art of horseshoeing nas met with
little advancement. The old fashioned
way of nailing the shoe to the hoof, with
all its attendant evils, remainS in rogue.
We have just been shown a horseshoe
invented by Thomas Skelton, of Rock-
fofd, I'll., which will be rery likely to
work a complete revolution in the prac
tice of horseshoeing. The shoe consists
of a tinged plate, with four or five little
flanges or projections extending up .ca
the outside of the horse's hoof, clasping
it like so many little finger, racking a
neat and perfectly effective attachment
to the hoof.- On the bottom of tais hing
- ed plate the sole of the shoe) so to speak,
or the part that comes in c ontact whh
the ground, is fastened by strong set
crewr, whereby the flanged plate is held
firmly to the foot, the' whole making a
handsome, easy and durable shoe, which
can be easily pat on aad taken off, and.
instead of endangering the hoof, after
the manner of tbe old fashioned shoe, is
an absolute preserver of tbs hoof, adapt
ed to tnose that are split, tender or thin,
as well as all others.
The shoe is made of malleable iron,
and can be manfacte'red at a cost of fif
teen cents per pound, and being so econ
omical, safe and laborsaviDg,, we do not
see what will pretent its speedily coming
into general use.
inary surgeon, on examining the shoe,
gave it bis hearty indorsement, and says:
'I consider' ii one of the most valuable
atd erffcfct pieces of meehansim of the.
kind ever invented;
One Cf tae molt enterprising hone
owners is hating bis horses shod with
this shoe;
It requires rery Jfiw-disa-us manage
rs eat to out-g'ehsfal one cf our ready
made clothing Israelites; but the way a
half-seas over nautical "&x navy" cold
one of the fratsfaitjr the other day, is
worth remembering.
Jack came cmising dowa Soiih Street,
aboat three fathoms ahead cf tares jolly
shipmates, aad abost four tints in going
a square he would get laid hold cf aad
brougbt to with a roaai tura by some
sidewalk lier-ia-wait. who would tang to
bim like a barnscle, and irsist upon his
coming" in and "puyisg sera e thing sheep.
At last' Jack cams to the conclusion to buy
comsthicg cheap.
. ."Come ins, come right ina, Shack, eat
' puys omethings sheep," persisted Aar-jn
Ahashueras, who had fastened to Jack's
starboard flipper, and was tugging hlzl
into his den. Come right ins, mine geed
fellers, I sells you sheep."
Jack permitted himself to be towed ia
to port, acd his three shipmates drifted
ia after him. j
"Now what you shall paysJSUck. I
sells burry sheep." ?
'."Got any fine khek
mates?" - "... " '
"O, yita?; here is fine plach psta,
moie fine as any mass in Pbi'sdelphil
has cot, acdjacre sheep, too.'
" "How much fcr thssf, siipcxte?"
Jack held cp before Lira a really
genteel pair cf blxck cxsrlmerss,
0, 1 sells yoa thit paats fcr elma
tollar. Shack. Tcs sheep, but thsay
cones here ia tgaia ether dsys."
"Won't fit, saipssis," tad Hzi niis
a motion to.lsy tbe pants aiiie.
0, yaas, dey fits. You dries 'en ca.
Shack. I shall nothing sharge fcr dst.1'
"Charge nothing for the tryicg, eh!"
"0, no, I aothing shsrge. Yen drffi
so moosh as you Mease ; I shall sharge
you nix."
So Jnck shipped the pantaloons, aaJ
found them pretty nearly the chalk.
"All right, shipoiate ;mifhtfit a tri2s
better, perhaps, but they'll do. I'll try
'em a voyage or two, anyhow. Good-bye,
Obadiah. Heave ahead, shipramates;"
and Jack rolled away down stream agaia
ia his new "togs" ontrial. Ahsshueras
watched Jack until he failed cat cf 3ight
aroond a corner, and then muttered:
"Py tarn! I specks I sells miness!
sheep dat tirnej !'' Phila. Dis.
Of aft tae freaks of the telegraph, th
following is the most laughable which
has come under our personal knowledge.
Not long since, a graduate from one cf
our Eastern theological schools, was call
ed to the paster! charge cf a church ia
the extreme Southwest. Whea hs was
about to staft fof his new parish te wai
unexpectedly detained by the incapacity
of the Presbytery to ordain him. Ia er
det to explain his noo-arriral at the ap
pointed time, he sent-tne'followiag tele
gram to the deacoas of the chunk : 'Pres
bytery lacked a quorum to ordain." Ia
the course of its journey, tae message
got strangely metamorphosed, aad reach
ed the astonished deacOns in this shrfpe :
"Presbytery tacked a worm on to Adam.
The sober church officers were greatly
discomposed and mysiified.but after grave
Consultation concluded it was tne minis
ter's facetious way of announcing that he
had got married, and accordingly pro
ceeded to provide lodgings for two in
stead of one. -
A good" farmer will never keep more
than ten dogs it every five sheep. He
will clean out his stables at least - once
every rnomb. lie will keep five or six
sticks' of wood cut up ahead, more than
what is necessary for immediate use .He
will not go to towa aad get oa a sprse
of tener tha'a ibfesr tlia7i a ti'illi, ii tezii
in fwrrest trtte'.- He will te very careful"
not to pat cp a? rail oa a line-fease unless
his neighbor ii there to help hio He
will not injure hi health by lyinj ia bed!
after eight o'clock A. M , but wrH hare
his cows milked and breakfast ever and
his men at work as early as tea o'clcck.
Ohio Farmer.
The Supreme Court of Wisccmiohare
decided that the law cf Congress requir
ing stamps to legal processes, in the be-
ginning or othgf- st 7t nf . mtt Pffr.
the stamps on legal paper cot necessary.
The ground cf the decision is that the
impbsition of h tax upoa any proceedings
iu a State Court is an inrasiou of the
right to regulite proceedings ia its court ;
that if congress tan taxi these proceed
JD3 at all, it caa lay a Ux that will prac
tically amount ia A prohibition", and thus,
legislate the Siate Court cut cf exist,
ence.
U yoa wish to drive a cut nail into si
seasoned oak timber, and net have it
brrak cr bend, just hare a small quantity
cf cil near by and dip the nail be fori
driving, and it will never fail to go. lis
mending earls and lotfghs this is cf
great advantage, for they are geasrally
mostly of oak wocd. In straighteniu
old rails betcTe es:n,lt it Da done ch
wood, and with eisy blowi. If dons ca
iroa they will be tore to bresi.
fdn. Jaraesoa says: "Ths bread cf
life is love ; the salt of life'is work, tia
sagsr of lif lV potry ; t water cf Jjfa
s faith-" - "