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About Nebraska advertiser. (Brownville, Nemaha County, N.T. [Neb.]) 1856-1882 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 31, 1865)
1 1 ! EBRASKA ADVERTISER tVSlMMV ITXBT TBI MB AT if - KATES OK A DVE IUTsING. ' One square (tea lieu or Ui...c.iva U &b additional ir.sertbn " 1 Easiites trjs,!i lio t tztjii It : 4 I I : It 5 n C5 Jt C7 I J C J c? 15 C 3 ZS t J 21 1ft C9 21 Use culussa eoyar " ' -Oaehalf eoaaa eneyfer . Oaefvurt!il colsaaca One ibd column me jsar Cce eolsasiix aonvbt -Ona naifaolaaa Lz moc&s One fourth roiuaia nx months One eighth eoluian tix ejcb;! J GEO. V7. HILL : CO,, . irtifr Block. Main St Btwa 1st h si u .y Ay Ay One eoiuaa tilts tassiii One bf evlaca ti.-; Oaefoertb eclutniihrf s cf. TERMQl One eijjb tb colaaa thre rsvM. .1 Att Corr.o'r' ln ,r,ne' " St so &40riptioD, inut Iptariably, be paid la Advance; 4 1 ook Work. and Plain and Fancy Job Wert, j tie test stle. and on snort notice. AlUrattiiuSiUveruaecai mult Ve p!-t In J' DCt. Yearly ajTerti3ati quarterly ia airacc. AJ! kind of Job. Bock, and Card triotinj, dca la LIBERTY AND UNION, ONE AND INSEPARABLE NOW AND FOREVER." jiba bsitj! oa ilortactica an4r0Lab!terat VOL. IX. BROWNVILLE, NEBRASKA, THURSDAY, AUGUST 31, 1865. NO. 50. Ml I 'y i . V 1 it 11 30 FIN ESS' CARDS. H. C. THUI.MAN, .pjjnsicianS 5mnon . ... AU2EICAIT-C0-USS cd. uoiiixsox.pnopnicTon, Front Street, ttween Main and Wairt- PROWNVILLE, NEBRASKA. if T G. 91. nCXDERSOA', flEXt&AL PEALEE IX STAPLE AIID FAIiCY DRYJGQODS, BOOTS & SHOES lltia Street between First and Second, BrownvlllOf HCoty. rt-y JAMES MEDFORD, . ; CABINET - MAKER AND Comer 2od zitd Maiu Sireets, bbowsv:;... ?r. t. b tr pared to 4o f B : -.r lort ftottea and rca Jp"eTA J. B. JORXSON". OFFICE WITH L. flOADLT, Corner Main and First Streets, BUOWXTII.X.E, ICEDRASltA. J. A. HEWES. ATTORNEY AT LAW AND Solicitor in Chancery. USD AND COLLECIKG AGENTS. BBOWHVILLE M". T. Mar . f. . . T. STKWAUT.MD. A.S. ROLLADAT, MD. FHYSIC1A11S AND SURGEONS. (Mtb Eaat rorner of Main and First Street UROITXVIL.I.E, XELIIIASKA. OrricK Hom-7 to 9 a. m. and 1 to and 6 to BmwBTilla, KfbraVa, May Mb, 1865- No 34, ly. C, II. TTALKCR. 3l)otograpl;ic Elliot (Successor to W. M. C. Perkiks) Oxk rocR vrsr rp tt- :: ..wkvillk Eorsi, BuOW.WiL -fc N. T. 1'l.W. invitpp .it'sti. t. hf e Card or Album pBotorrphi,itio hi bvaattfol Irnry-like Arabro TPi vbich are pr ivrrealty udm'tted to be equal koarj piruiueod in this, or ary other country. !U w r eir bit nndirided attenMon to tho Som nti, -; hoyx to merit a hare o'" public patron g. itirfurtion gaaraateed. S-43 inrs.iH.lt).cmclt, HiHinery & Fancy Goods Main Street one door west of the Post Offlce ini01Y,YrILLC? HX II It ASK A. A iuieriAr stock of Spring and Sumnaer Good JitrceiTe(i. KTerytbing in the Millinery line pt eonitantly on baid. Dreas-Makiog, linnet BiMchincand Trimming done to order. rct, 1865. T-n--28ly BACK TO THE OLD STAND ! KICKS. MTCISS, A5D ft JOSEPH S II U T Z retpectrall Ipirre b" ante opened bit J-Mrf'.i ? 5u-p m his d nwd on b street, soetb W" two j.-..r& e?st of tr e Lr wn Hoo us) serrc on a r-p'o! -iii Riscirtc,it 'erTtLlni in bu 'r.t f tsicces, vti' te wm ' ea Us low! er r f r Cut i tu'-'!i-.r,,5 that he W C'.ockn wtrbj- . jff't(i re cn tea isri- t Xotite. WORK 'V .A TJ P li TED. yrtTllle, Keb.. Mky ? is 134. nf7.vft.ly J. F. MORHIS Successor te ft. Brown K Co.) VviU resiMtctsaMy announce to the Cltteen of Tttle and rleinlty, that be has purchased the wrse anfl Well selected storK E el "itt r- or I3ICI11ES. PAU1TS, iC. 9 v," MsnrM lbs public seoerslly, that he will kee oa or n erowk Co rTr7 tbdnt usually keept la FU&t Class Drug Store, ii l5.R'WOS8 AK0 O&DFRS CAEIIXLLT nLLfI HOURS. BROWNVILLE, NEBRASKA. ta-B-iy "SincH IH TIHE EAVE3 EUTIT' ; LOUIS TALDTER, itii . tKt 'et refciJ perform all work, par. 'Ctebisbttsneiss. How and ign painting, gtaiinr, and paper bang mil - 1 ,Dort not,Cft d b most arrroTed Termsewb. Girebim aeall. He it prepare t do all .WALE COLORING M cbMpeat style Icr caa. InUe, April T, ly. E. S. 15DUNS, M. D., PHYSICIAIl Ct SURGEH 1 XJomaliA, City, 3? OFFICE AT 1113 RESIDEXCE. Aif.8tb,.l8CS d47-t9-1j . EDWARD T7. THOLIAS, ATT,0RHEY D AT LAW, SOLICITOR CHANCERY, - Offce crcer of Main and Plrtt Streets. BROWNVILLE. NEBRASKA. c. o.DCkEsir. . 8.M. ica. -DORSET & BICO, lltcnwijs at Cam, And COSI3IERCIAL COLLECTORS. Ofic S. E. com9r Main and Firtt Street $, BROWNVILLE, NEBRASKA. Will gire prompt attention to all buines en trusted to them ia tbe varioua Courti of Nebt&sVa and Nortb Miwonri: also, to tbo Collection cf Bounty Money, Back ray, and Pension ; aal tv tbe Payment of Xaxea. 9 40-yl BEDFORD & CO., SEALERS I WW trams BOOTS a;d snoEs, IIATS and caps Qaeensware, Catlerj, etc, MAIN STREET. BRO WITVTLLE, ITEBIIAS IT A. C. W. WHEELER, CABINET-MAKER AND CARPENTER. IlaTlrj opened op permanently on ZXaIxx Oti'oot, One door above tbe Baltimore Clothing Store, if prepared to do all kinds of work in his line in the rery beet and style. Particular attention giren to Contracts. t-d m p'd Jlcctln of School Examiners. Notice is hereby giren that the Board of Seboo Examiners of Nemaha County, Nebraska, will bold meetings for the Examination of Teachers for said County, at tbe Bice of E. W. Thomas, in RrownviUe,o the lt Saturday in erery month, between the hours of one an l 3 V. M, Applicants for eertifieatrs are required to be present at one o'clock, precisely, or they will not be examined. No person need apply at any other time. By order of tbe Hoard, E. W. THOMAS, Clerk. April 1st, -yly JACOB MAKOHN, HEECIMJT TAILOR BROWNVILLE, NEBRASKA Calls the attention of Gentlemen desiring new. Leu ervtcable and fashionable WEARING APPAREL to ms HEW STOCK OF GOODS. JUST RECEIVED, BKOAD CLOTHS. CASSIMERS, VISTINGS Ac.. . OF THE VERY LA TEST STYLES 'S'uUb he will sell er make up. to order, at unpreci der.te1 low itrics. Ravine; on hand one of SINGER'S SEWING MACHINES, be ic able to do Custom work at rates that defy cocnp I warrant uy work. tland as frell as machine TV ork. Those wishing any thins ia his line will do well to call ani examine his stock before investing, as ha pledges himself to hold out peculiarly farorsble in ducement January 1st IMS p'd to Oot. 16th 1865. CHOICE LIQUORO. Wholesale and Retail Evan TTbrthin 8; OF THE BROWSVILLE, Hss Jntt Received the largest and best STck m Liners sl4 Ciaars ever offered In this market, and 40 l tLeui aa low aa any Bouse in tbe Territory. TFIIITNCTTS DLOCU, Main Street, BrownTille Tab.4.64yIy. GRANT'S CAXAP CASH STORE. Jtfain Strut teiiceen First and Second. BRO WITVILLE, N. T. . WX baveln stnrt alarge snd well selected stock ef Boots and Shoes, Finest Quality of ScrrEer Shoes, WHICH BB OFFERS FOR BALK CHEAP FOR CASH Groceries of Every Kind, SutT. Coffee, Tea, Soda, Allspice, Fepper, Candles. Tobacco, Matches, Starch, All of rbirh be onr at the loet ftken. 4eter- mined not to be uvuer?li. fR ANT- fcrewnville, Kb., THE FE HALE , CIRCLE-1 - We met, 'twas in a crowd, Iler crinoline was spread; Sbe seemed soma mighty eone, With a dumpling for a head. : . Gad t bow sbejlew around I And how was I amaied. - When "that expaase of skirt From off tbe floor she raised. 1 flawed her graeeful motions, As swift sbe wh irl ed abou t ; While the waltcers sbanaed her trask, As do "tars" the waUr-spont. Now skimming high la air, Upturned those hoops did go, Displaying legs and ankle As well as pretty toe. Like aralaneha descending Again they sweep tbe floor, Creating draft as powerfal 'As from aa open door. .L'sartG help the aclaeky en Revolving In her wake, ' Who might receive the shock If anything should break ! How be Came to be Married. It may be fuoy, but Ir'e done iu I've got a rib and a baby. Shadows depart ed -oysters stews, brandy cock-tails, ci gar boxes, bootjacks, abscond shirt but tons, whist and demijohn. Shadows pres enthoop skirts, band-boxes, ribbons, garters, long stockings, juvenile dresses, tin trumpets, little willow chairs, cradles, bibs, paps, sugar teats, paregoric, hive syrup, rhubarb, senna, salts, quill- and docrcr bills. Thaddows future more pound babies, more hive syrup, etc, etc. I'll just tell you how I got caught. I was always the darbdesi, most tea cus tard bashful fellow you ever did see ; it wat kidder in tny line to be takeu with the shakes every tune 1 saw a pretty gal approaching me, and I would cross the street any time ruiher than face one ; twasn't because I didn't like the critters, forif I was behind the fence looking at a knot hole I couldn't look at one h tig enough. Weir, sister Lib gave a party one night, and I siayed away frcn home because I was too bashfull to face the music. I hung around ths house whistling '01d Dan Tucker" dancing to keep my feet warm, watching the heads bobbing up and down behind the window curtains, and wishing the thundering par ty would bteak up, so I could get to my room. I smoked up a bunch of cigars, and as it was getting late and mighty uncomfortable, I concluded to shin up the door post, no sooner said than done, and I soon found myself snug in bed. Now," says I, "let her rip ! Dance till your wind gives out.'' And cuddling under the quilts, Mcrephus grabbed me. I was dreaming of soft ahell crabs and stewed tripe, and having a good time when somebody knocked at the door and woke me up. Rap" again. I laid Jo w. "Rap, rap, rap,!" Then I heard a whis pering, and I knew there was a whole r?.'t of c!s outside. "Rap, rap,!" Then Lih :-:ngs out: " J;.lL are you there ?" "Yes, says I." Then came a roar of laughter. "Let us in," said she. "I won't" said I, "can't you let a fel low alone ?" "Are you a-be d ?" says she. "I am," says I. I won't," says I. By thunder ! I began to get riled. 'Get out, you pettcoated scare-crows!" cried I ; "can't you get a beau without hauling a fellow out of bd ? I wont go borne with you I won't so you may clear out!" And throwing a boot at the door I felt better. But presently oh 1 mortal not ions ! I heard a still small voice, very like sister Lib's, and it said: - -Jack, you'll have to get up' for all the girls things are there." Oh, Lord, what a pickle ! Think of roe in bed, all covered with shawls, muffs, bunnets and cloaks, and twenty girls out side the door waiting to get in ! If I had sloped to think I .should have pan caked on the spot. A itwasl rolled est among the bonnet ware and ribbons in a hurry.. Smash went the millinery in every direction. I had to dress ia-the dark for there was a crack in the door and tbe girls will peep and the way I i fumbled about was deatLcn straw hats. i - . ! The critical moment came. I opened the . door and found mypelf right among the women. "Oh, my Leghorn !" cried one, 'My dear darling winter velvet !" cried anoth er, and they pitched ia they pulled ma this way a ad that boxed my ears, aad one jbrighteyed, little piece-UJ;lnr name was-- pm her arms right areas py neck, and kisaed me xihton c.y lVr: Human nature couldn't - stacd-'Cat, Cli I gavt as good aa.jrhe' seat Ir cii li first time I ever got the taste, and ft ttx powerful good, l-beleive! could hif kissed that gal from Julia Cesar ta & Fourth of July. "Jack."said she, we are sorry la dis turb you, but won't you see ot fce&t!" "Yes," said 1, 4 wiU" 1 did do it, and another smack at tha gate, too. After that vre took i ki&er turtle dove after each other, both etna sighing like a barrel of oe cider, when we were away from each other. Tas at the close of a glorious summer -day the sun was setting behind a hen-roost, the bull-frogs were commencing their even ing songs and polly-wogs, in thai r native iindptidle?, were preparing themselves for the shades of night, and Sal and my self sat on an antiquated backlog, listen ing to the music cf nature", such as tree toads, roosters and grunting pigs, and cow and then the music of . a jackass was Wafted to our ears by the gentle xephyrs that sighed among the mullen stocks, and came heavy laden with . the delicious odors of henroosts and pig-styes, - xa last lingering rays of thesetticj tia, glancing from the buttons of a 'ac!imy horseman, shone through a knot feole ia a hog-pen full in Sals face, dyirj her Lair an orange peel hue, and showisj cfT my threadbare coat to a bad adra&tage; one of my arms was around Sal's waist. my hand resting on the small of her back, she was toying with my auburn locks of jet black hue; she' was almost gone and I was ditto She looked like a grasshopper dying with the hiccups, and I felt like a mud-turtle chocked with a codfish ball. "Sal," says I, in a voice as musical as the notes of a dying swan,' "will you have me ?" She turned her eyes heavenward, clatped me by the hand, had an attack of tbe heaves and blind staggers, with a sight that drew her shoe strings to her palete, said : "Yes." J She gave clear cut, then, and squated in my lap. I hugged her till I broke my suspenders, and her breath emelled of onions she had eaten two weeks before. Well, to make a long story short, she sat the day, and we practiced for four weeks every night and day how we would enter the room to be married, till we get so we could walk as graceful as couple of Muscovy ducks. The night thf 'ccm pany and the minister came, the eignal was given, and arm in arm we marched through the crowded hall. We were just entering the parlor door, when down I went gerslap on the oilcloth, pulli&g Sal after me. Some cmsed fellow had dropped a banana skin on the floor and it floored roe. It split an awful bole, in my cassimeres, right under my dress-coat tail. It was too late to back out; so clasping my hind over jt we marched in and were spiced, and taking a seat I wacthed the kissing the bride operation. My groomsman was tight, and he kissed till I jumped up to take a slice, when, oh horror! a little six-year old imp had crawled behind me and polled my shirt through the hole in my pants, had pinned it to the chair, and jumping up I display ed ittn thft.adrnirinor Rseof the aston ished multitude a trilie more -IT.-- muslin than was pleasant. The women giggled, the men roared, and I ot cad, but was finally put to bed and htt cay troubles endek. Good night, q John Nichols writes from J.lcSftiHa, Crawford county, Pa, ; that eat ef bis neighbors has inventented a msth-lf sp, which is effectual. It is simply a box. with a moveable top, and frames which hold pieces cf comb, convenient to remore for examination and destructioa ef the moth, which enters through holes, and deposits its eggs in the comb. This box is placed by the side ef the hire, and furnishes a perfrct hiding-place for the moths, where the bees do not raciest them, and where they can be destroyed. The . theory is that the mo'h will cct at tempt to emer the bite while it caa ti a much better place in the box. Y. Y. Triitijos. It is also said there aire hires with en trances so guarded witb little tia doefs that thft fees can, and he taoths caotsot enter.' . ' ; :" Even in these late ages the horse-shoe is not unfrequently seen nailed over the door of the cabin or cottage, to "charm" away misfortune, or to "keep off" dis ease. ' There are intelligent men who have carried a buckeye in their "unmen tiozxble" pockets for years, to "keep off" fiUa l. Children can be found at school cay day, with little bags of brimstone at tidied to their necks by a strin?. to 'klep' off" some particular malady. There are many young gentlemen and ladies whe have half a dozea ''charms attached to their watchchains, it beicg a remnant of the ancient superstition. We give a pitying smile at the mention of these absurdities, for we know then to te unavailing. . But there are "charms" ajaiast human ills which are powerful to save from physical, roentat, and moral calamity! Hearing about ia one's heart the sweet memories of a mother's care, and affect- ton, and fidelity, often has a resistless power, for many a year after that dear mother has found her resting-place in heaven, to restrain the wayward and the unsettled from rushing- into the ways of wicked and abandoned men. John Ran dolph, of Roanoke, used to repeat in his Inter years, and always with qnivenng lips, that while he was quite a young man, in Paris, he wa repeatedly oa the point of plunging recklessly into the French infidelity which was so prevalent during the terrible "Revolution" of the time; tut was as often restrained by the remembrance of that far-dt3tant time, when yet in his infancy, his mother used to have him bend bis knees before her, and, with his little hands in hers, thought him ia sweet but tremulous tones, to say nightly, "Our Father who art," etc. Tens of 'housond are there ia this wide land who, by the "charms" cf the tem perance pledge, have gone out iato the world, singly and alone, to battle with its snares, and temptations, and sm ; they have been surrounded at every step by the great temper, with the allurements of passion and pride ; of settetrtl gratifi cation and of corrupting association; but keeping their eye steadily fixed on the beautiful "pleage," to "touch not, taste not" the accursed thing, they have bravely come off conquerors, and to day stand in their might the pillars of soei. ety. Young gentlemen, and young la dies, too, make it yonr ambition to bear about you "alway" the "charm" of the "pledge!' of reverence for the Sabbath day and the holy memories of a sainted mother's religious teachings, and you will pass safely to a ripe old'age of happiness a&d health. HaWs Journal of Health. A" Wife In Distress. "Pray tell me, my dear, whaf is the cauie of those tears ?" 0, such a disgrace!" "What is it, don't keep me in sus pense ?" ' "O, I have opened one of your letters, supposing it to be addressed to myself. Certainly it looked more like Mrs. than Mr." "Is that all ? What harm can there be in a wife opening her husband's let ters?" . "No harm in the thing itself but the contense. Such a disgrace !" "Who has dared to write me a letter unfit to be read by my wife ?" "Oh, no, it is couched in the most chase and beautifnl language. But the contects ! the contents !'' Here the wife buried her face in her up the letter commenced reading ths epis tle that had nearly broken his wife's betrt. It was a bill from the printer for two yeaVs ecpscription to the Standard. An ex-slave applied the other day to a lawyer ia Maryland fof the festoration cf his boy of sixteen, who had been ille gally apprenticed to his forttfer master. In reply to the lawyer's question whether be was capable of taking care of the boy, the father said : "Well, massa, I ruther ticks I's capable as him, for you see dat ole massa has done gone and hired de boy out fur fou' dollar a moath. aa pat de money in his pocket ; and I spec's I's capable of dat kind of kere, anyways!' The following is from uck, a new fanny paper in California : The Gridiron To take down the grid- irca fron the nail where it is hanging. with the left hand, is H sign that there will be a fcroil in the kitchea. The Mirror If a mirror is broken. il is a sign that a good loakirig'lass will be missed in that heme. A Funeral To meet a funeral proces sion is a sign of death. Pocket Book To lose a pocket book j containing greenbacks is unlucky. Nails If a woman cuts her nails every Monday, it is lucky for her husband. Roosters If you hear a rooster crow whea you are ia bed, and the clock strikes a few times' at the same instant, it is a siga cf no(u)raicg. Aa Itching Ear If you have aa itch tog ear, tickle your nose, and you will have an itching there, aad ill luck will be arerted. Salt To spill salt accideatally iato a! stew while it is ca the fire is a proof that the family will mtet with its alterations (alter rations). A Cat When a cat prepares to wash its face it is a siga that oae ia the boose will shortly receive a licking. War.ts To hare sixteea warts ca the left hand is unlucky ; to to hare the same number ca the right hand is a siga you are unfortunate. Spirits If a married man, while his wife is in the room, takes up a bottle of spirits with his right hand, it is a siga that she will shortly be out of spirits, and that her husband is goias to liquor. Stock Raising If a one-eyed bull dog flies at a stock raiser's legs, it denotes thnt a misfortune will happen to his calvs. Bridal If you get on horseback on Monday before the sun is up, it is a sign you will hare a hand ia a bridal. Lucky To stroke a greea-eyed cat with a white spot oa her ncse is lucky, and heavy purs will be .the corns quefice. Marriage If you are in a house and hear a baby cry, it is a siga cf marriage or if it isn't it ought to be. . Hed Hair-Ifta red-hairtd man falls in lore with a girl who dislikes hair of that color, he will very likely dye before he is married. The abot e signs aad portents may by strictly rolled upon ; they have never been known to faiL . Among all the improvements in mod ern mechanism, says the Chicago Trib une, the art of horseshoeing nas met with little advancement. The old fashioned way of nailing the shoe to the hoof, with all its attendant evils, remainS in rogue. We have just been shown a horseshoe invented by Thomas Skelton, of Rock- fofd, I'll., which will be rery likely to work a complete revolution in the prac tice of horseshoeing. The shoe consists of a tinged plate, with four or five little flanges or projections extending up .ca the outside of the horse's hoof, clasping it like so many little finger, racking a neat and perfectly effective attachment to the hoof.- On the bottom of tais hing - ed plate the sole of the shoe) so to speak, or the part that comes in c ontact whh the ground, is fastened by strong set crewr, whereby the flanged plate is held firmly to the foot, the' whole making a handsome, easy and durable shoe, which can be easily pat on aad taken off, and. instead of endangering the hoof, after the manner of tbe old fashioned shoe, is an absolute preserver of tbs hoof, adapt ed to tnose that are split, tender or thin, as well as all others. The shoe is made of malleable iron, and can be manfacte'red at a cost of fif teen cents per pound, and being so econ omical, safe and laborsaviDg,, we do not see what will pretent its speedily coming into general use. inary surgeon, on examining the shoe, gave it bis hearty indorsement, and says: 'I consider' ii one of the most valuable atd erffcfct pieces of meehansim of the. kind ever invented; One Cf tae molt enterprising hone owners is hating bis horses shod with this shoe; It requires rery Jfiw-disa-us manage rs eat to out-g'ehsfal one cf our ready made clothing Israelites; but the way a half-seas over nautical "&x navy" cold one of the fratsfaitjr the other day, is worth remembering. Jack came cmising dowa Soiih Street, aboat three fathoms ahead cf tares jolly shipmates, aad abost four tints in going a square he would get laid hold cf aad brougbt to with a roaai tura by some sidewalk lier-ia-wait. who would tang to bim like a barnscle, and irsist upon his coming" in and "puyisg sera e thing sheep. At last' Jack cams to the conclusion to buy comsthicg cheap. . ."Come ins, come right ina, Shack, eat ' puys omethings sheep," persisted Aar-jn Ahashueras, who had fastened to Jack's starboard flipper, and was tugging hlzl into his den. Come right ins, mine geed fellers, I sells you sheep." Jack permitted himself to be towed ia to port, acd his three shipmates drifted ia after him. j "Now what you shall paysJSUck. I sells burry sheep." ? '."Got any fine khek mates?" - "... " ' "O, yita?; here is fine plach psta, moie fine as any mass in Pbi'sdelphil has cot, acdjacre sheep, too.' " "How much fcr thssf, siipcxte?" Jack held cp before Lira a really genteel pair cf blxck cxsrlmerss, 0, 1 sells yoa thit paats fcr elma tollar. Shack. Tcs sheep, but thsay cones here ia tgaia ether dsys." "Won't fit, saipssis," tad Hzi niis a motion to.lsy tbe pants aiiie. 0, yaas, dey fits. You dries 'en ca. Shack. I shall nothing sharge fcr dst.1' "Charge nothing for the tryicg, eh!" "0, no, I aothing shsrge. Yen drffi so moosh as you Mease ; I shall sharge you nix." So Jnck shipped the pantaloons, aaJ found them pretty nearly the chalk. "All right, shipoiate ;mifhtfit a tri2s better, perhaps, but they'll do. I'll try 'em a voyage or two, anyhow. Good-bye, Obadiah. Heave ahead, shipramates;" and Jack rolled away down stream agaia ia his new "togs" ontrial. Ahsshueras watched Jack until he failed cat cf 3ight aroond a corner, and then muttered: "Py tarn! I specks I sells miness! sheep dat tirnej !'' Phila. Dis. Of aft tae freaks of the telegraph, th following is the most laughable which has come under our personal knowledge. Not long since, a graduate from one cf our Eastern theological schools, was call ed to the paster! charge cf a church ia the extreme Southwest. Whea hs was about to staft fof his new parish te wai unexpectedly detained by the incapacity of the Presbytery to ordain him. Ia er det to explain his noo-arriral at the ap pointed time, he sent-tne'followiag tele gram to the deacoas of the chunk : 'Pres bytery lacked a quorum to ordain." Ia the course of its journey, tae message got strangely metamorphosed, aad reach ed the astonished deacOns in this shrfpe : "Presbytery tacked a worm on to Adam. The sober church officers were greatly discomposed and mysiified.but after grave Consultation concluded it was tne minis ter's facetious way of announcing that he had got married, and accordingly pro ceeded to provide lodgings for two in stead of one. - A good" farmer will never keep more than ten dogs it every five sheep. He will clean out his stables at least - once every rnomb. lie will keep five or six sticks' of wood cut up ahead, more than what is necessary for immediate use .He will not go to towa aad get oa a sprse of tener tha'a ibfesr tlia7i a ti'illi, ii tezii in fwrrest trtte'.- He will te very careful" not to pat cp a? rail oa a line-fease unless his neighbor ii there to help hio He will not injure hi health by lyinj ia bed! after eight o'clock A. M , but wrH hare his cows milked and breakfast ever and his men at work as early as tea o'clcck. Ohio Farmer. The Supreme Court of Wisccmiohare decided that the law cf Congress requir ing stamps to legal processes, in the be- ginning or othgf- st 7t nf . mtt Pffr. the stamps on legal paper cot necessary. The ground cf the decision is that the impbsition of h tax upoa any proceedings iu a State Court is an inrasiou of the right to regulite proceedings ia its court ; that if congress tan taxi these proceed JD3 at all, it caa lay a Ux that will prac tically amount ia A prohibition", and thus, legislate the Siate Court cut cf exist, ence. U yoa wish to drive a cut nail into si seasoned oak timber, and net have it brrak cr bend, just hare a small quantity cf cil near by and dip the nail be fori driving, and it will never fail to go. lis mending earls and lotfghs this is cf great advantage, for they are geasrally mostly of oak wocd. In straighteniu old rails betcTe es:n,lt it Da done ch wood, and with eisy blowi. If dons ca iroa they will be tore to bresi. fdn. Jaraesoa says: "Ths bread cf life is love ; the salt of life'is work, tia sagsr of lif lV potry ; t water cf Jjfa s faith-" - "
