Nebraska Newspapers

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NEBRASKA ADVERTISER
rCELISflED EVERT TUCKSDAT BT..-
CEO. W. HILL & CO,,
Advertiser Block, Main S't Dot ween 1st &. 2d,
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K
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vance. . .
i s;uW ription, must in variably, lo pajj inAdvanccj
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Year! j advertisement j quarterly in aatace.
AH kinds of Job, Uook au J Card priatir-, done ia,
the best stylo on short notice andreasonabla term
lfiathe lft style, anion bbort notice.
LIBERTY AND UNION, ONE AND IN SEP All ABLE NOW AND FOREVER,"
VOL. IX.
BROWNVILLE, NEBRASKA, THURSDAY, JUNE 22, 1865.
NO. 40.
t
' J
111
BUSINESS CARDS.
G. 31. 11EXDEUSO.V,
CIIEUL DEALER t!t
STAPLE AMD FAHOY DRY GOODS
BOOTS & SHOES,
OBRIBS
fain Street between First and Second,
J CIIAS. G. DORSEY.
VTTOffPY AT LAW
BROWNVILLE, NEBRASKA.
April 14lh, 1SG4. ri32v8yly
3DWARD W. THOMAS,
ATT0RNEYro AT LAW,
SOLICITOR IN CHANCERY,
OrtVe cnpfT i-r Main Fiol Street.
BUUlVNVILLljl, NEBRASKA.
J
A. II E WES.
ATTORNEY AT LAW
AND
Solicitor in Chancery.
LAND AND COLLECTING AGENT.
BROWNVILLE N. T.
"March lth,ly.
II. C. THURMAN,
pljnstrian J Burgeon
BROWjYVILLE, NEBRASKA.
vol9-n2-y-ri
1MERICAN HOUSE
L.D. ROniXSOX.rUOI'llICTOR,
?"rontS:reet, between Main and Water,
BROWNVILLE, NEBRASKA.
9 SMr
JAMES MEDFORD,
CABINET - MAKER
AND
Corner 2nd aDd Main Streets,
UnOVVNVILLE, XT. T.
Is prepared to do all kinds of work in bis line on
iort notice and reasonable terms. 21-6in
C. W. WHEELER,
CABINET-MAKER
AND
CARPENTER.
Raving opened up permanently on
ZLTaIxx Stroot,
ne door above the Baltimore Clothing Store, is
repard to do all kinds of work in bis line in the
ry best and style, l'articular attentione given to
'ontracts. v9-nl4 6m p'd
L F. STEWART, MI). ' A. S. IIOLLADAY, MD.
PHYSICIANS AND SURGEONS.
outh Ea?t corner of Main and First Streets
BROWXVILLK, XERASRA.
rnc FIorRS 7 to 9 a. a. and 1 to 2 and 6 to
Brownville, Nebraska, May 5th, 185 No 34, ly.
IHvSeiiLlll-ljcmctt,
Millinery & Fancy Goods
Iain Street one door west of the Port Oflce
BROWAVII.tE, XEUKASKA.
A superior stock of Spring and Summer Goods
net received. Everything in the Millinery line
cpt constantly on bai.d. Dress-Making, liunnct
teaching and Trimming done to order.
&ro,18R5. v9-n-28-Iy
C. II. WALK DR.
pjotogvcipljic Artist
Successor to W. M. C. Perkins )
.One door west of thk browkville hoie,
BROWNVILLE, N T.
W.W. Invites attention to his Card or Album
holographs, alto bis beautiful Ivory-like Ambro
Tpes, yhich are universally admitted to beetpal
any produced in this, or any other country.
He will give bu undivided attention to the busi
es, and hopes to merit a share of pubuo patron
oatisfaction guaranteed. n 3o-t.
BAfJJt TO THE OLD STAND !
mil, WATCHES,
T ES DESS 31. L 3T !
JOSEPH SHUTZ
"w.eid reFpectrnlllnform bU old cjintcnieri that hp
again opened bis Jewelrj Shop in bis oil stand 01
in trel. aouth side, two doora eatt of the Brown
Ule Oongt. iie keep on hand a spltiuilld assort men
11 in "ls liu of tuiue, which be wil
u uie towcRt terms rer Cah.
Of Clocks; Watches and Jewelry done on the ihort-
WORK WARRANTED.
remviile, Neb.. May 19th, ISS4. n37-vS-Iv
E. S. BURNS, M. D.,
PHYSICIAN & SURGEON I
35u.lT,, OJLty, 2TV T
OFFICE AT HIS RESIDENCE.
July 2?th, JSG1. ci7-B-rl!y
KOI
His was & heart so trueani strong,
So wise, in all but human wrong,
So fit fer woman' trc:st,
Thai when she spoke the fatal "No,"
It smote him with a weight of.woe
' That crashed him to the du.it.
The why we nercr knew, si, ill less
Could hazard a presumptive guess,
So reticent is pain j
We onlj knew she could no take
The hand he offered by mistake.
Or offered but iu vain.
Acd al! men noted from that day
He moved as in a blinded way,
Helpless, without a plan;
Ah, what Miraculous cbs.i-.ge of state
One single syllable can create
Within the heart of iri?n.
Acd she lived evermore apirt,
Xor gave to any man her heart,
Untill the day she died.
When, to the friends around her bed,
She breathed bis name and smiled and said-
Bury mo by his sid e."
MUSTERED OUT.
BT GEORGE W. BCtfGAV.
nail to the hero mustered out,
Let the black-throated cannon shout,
And fling to the wind the stars.
rijoiee,0 ye jubilant bells,
Tbe heart of the patriot swell?,
And tears overflow from their wells,
When we see the soldiers' scan.
We welcomed him home from the field,
.Untarnished his saber and shield,
Untainted his laurel crown.
Champion of the brave and free,
O what spirit and dash had he;
God gTant that we never may see
A cloud on his grand renown.
O now let us muster him in,
Where the ranks of the true begin,
To light for themselves again :
While he has been striking the blow
At the Rebels, another foe
Hath laid many a brave man low,
Who passed through the leaden rain.
-Evening J 'out.
Artemus Ward in Richmond.
Richmond, Va., Slay IS &. 65.
OLOZO WARD.
Afore I comments this letter from the soon as 1 gl honie he walked off.
late rebil capitol I desire to cimply say Said an ther, "There's bin a tremen
thatlhav seen a low ana skurrilus noat dous Union feelin' here from the fust.
n the papers from a certain purson who
singes himself Olonzo Ward, & sez he
is my berruther. I did once hare a ber-
uther of that name, but I do not recog-
nize him now. To me he is wus than
ded ! I took him from colleffe sum 16
years ago and gave him a good situation
as the Bearded Woman in my show.
low did he repay me for this kindness?
He basejy undertook (one day while in a
Backynalian mood on rum & right in
sight of the aujience in the tent)to stand
upon his head, whereby he belray'd his
sex on account of his boots and his Beard
allin' off his face, thusrooinin1 my pros-
pecks in that town, and likewise incur- Robert L,ee is regarded as a noble fel
rin the displeasure of the Press, which ler.
sed boldly was triflin' with the feelin's He was opposed to the war at the fust,
of a intelligent public. I know no such
man as Olonzo Ward. I do not ever
wish his name breathed in my. presents,
do not recognise him- I perfectly dis-
rusts him.
The old man finds himself once more
n a sunny climb. I cum here a few
days after the city catter pillertulated.
My naburs seemed surprised and as-
tonisht at this darin' bravery onto the
part of a man at my time of life, but our
amily was never know'd to quale in
danger's stormy hour. I
My father was a sutler in the Revo-
lootion War. Mv father once had a in-
tervoo with Gin'ral La Fayette.
He asked La Fayette to sent him five
dollarspromisin' to pay him in the fall ;
but Lafy sajd he couldn't s.ee it in those
lamps." Lafy was French, and his
Knowledge of our lanirwid ire was a little
snaky J
luunejuuyon my 'rival here I pro-
ceeaea to the Spotswood House, apd,
c-jim to my assistance a young man
nwu. ion wno writes a good run-j
nm hand, put my olograph on the
register, and handm' my umbrella to a
baldheaded man behind the counter, who
I s poseed was Mr. Spotswood, J said,
"Spotsy, how does she run?"
He called a cullud person, and said
Show the gen'lman tp the cow-yard,
nnri ti
lve 'ira cart numter 1."
- o
"IsnH Grant here ?" I said. "Per-
haps Ulyssis wouldn't mind my turnin
in with him."
"Do you know how the Gin'ral?" in
quired Mr. Spotswood;
"Wall, no, not 'zactly ; but he'll re-
member me. His troihei-in-Iaw s aunt
Vu -ht her rye meal of my uncle Levi
all one winter. Mv un;le Levi's rvn
rye meal was''
'Pooh! pooh!" said Spotsy, "don't
bother me,'' and he ehuv'd my umbrella
onto the floor. Obsarvin' to him not to
be so keerless with that wepin, I accom
panied the African to my lodgings.
'My brother," I sed, "air you aware
that youVe bin 'raancipated ?" Do you
relise how glora3 it s to ta free ? Tell
me, my dear brother, does it not seem
like some dreams, or do you realise the
great fact in all its livin' and holy mag
nitood ?"
He se4 he would take some gin.
I was showed to the cow-yard and laid
under a one-mule cart. The hotel was
orful crowded, and I was sorrow I hadn't
gone to the-Libby Prison. Tho' I should
hav' slept comTble enough if the bed
clothes hadn't bin pulled off me durm'
the night, by a scoutidrul who cum. and
hitched a mule to the cart and druv it
off. I thus lost my cuverin', and my
throat feeh a little husky this morning.
Gin'ral Halleck offers me the hospi
tality of the city, giviu' me my choice
of the hospitals.
He has also very kin ly plac4 at my
disposal a small-pox amboolance.
There is raly a great deal of Union
sentiment in this city. I see, it on ev'ry
hand.
I met a man to-day I am not at lib
erty to tell his name, but he is a old and
infiooentooial citizen of Richmond, and
sez he, "Why ! wa've bin fighthV again
the old flag ! Lor bless me, how sing
lar !" He then borrer'd five dollars, of
me and bust into a flood of tears.
Sed another (man of standin' and for
merly a bitter rebul,) "let us ouce stop
effooshun of Rlud ! The Old Flag is
good enouff for me Sir," he added, "you
air from the North ! Have you a dough
nut or a piece of custard pie about you ?
1 told him no, but I knew a man from
Vermont who had just organized a sort
restaurant, where he could go and make
a very comfortable breakfast on New
England rum and cheese. He borrowed
fifty cents of me, and askin' me to send
him Wra. Llooyd Garrison's abrotype as
Ha'e yu a degeretype of Wendell Phil-
P3 aboul yur person? and will you
lend me four doIlars for a few days tin
we air once more a happy and united
people ?"
Jeff Davis is not pop'lar here. She
is regarded kind to his parents. She
ran away from 'em many years ago, and
has never bin back. This was showin'
'em a good deal of consideration when
refleck what his conduck has been.
IJer capture in female apparel confooses
me in regard to his sex, and you see I
speak of him as a he as frekent as oth-
erwise, &. I guess he feels so hisself.
and draw'd his sword very reluctant.
In fact, he would not have draw'd his
sword at all, only he had a large stock
0f military clothes on han.which he didn't
wnnt fn wast Hf spz thft rnJnred man
is right, and he will at once go to New
York and open a Sabbath school for ne-
rrro minstrels.
The surrender pf R. Lee, J. Johnston
and others leaves the Confedrit Army
in a ruther shattered state. That army
now consists of Kirby Smith, four mules,
and a Brass drum, and is moving rapidly
to'rds Texts.
Feelin' a little peckish, I went into a
eatin' house to-day, and encountered a
young man with long black hair and slen
der. He didn't wear much clothes ; and
them as he did wear looked onhealthy
He frowned on me, and sed, kinder
scornful. "So. sir vou come here to
taunt us in our hour of trouble, do you?"
No," said I, "I cqm here for hash!"
"Pish-haw !" he eed sneeringly, "I
mean you air in this city for the pur
puss 0f ffl0atin' over a fallen people.
Others may basely succumb, but as for
me. t w;n never vield nvr. ,r !'
Haye suihi to eat !" I pleasantly
suggested.
"Tripe and onions !" he sed furcely;
then he added, "I eat with you, but I
hate you. You're a low-lived Yankee !'
To which I pleasantly replied, "How
will you have your tripe ?"
:Fred, rnudsill with plenty of ham
fat !" -
He et very ravenus. Poor feller !
He had lived on odds and ends for sev
eral days, eatin' crackars that had been
turned over by revellers in the bread
tray at the bar.
Tip fT.,i r,,i! a uet hii hoari
ened a little towards me. "After all,"
he sed, 'you hav sum peple" at'the Nort,
who air not whooly loathsum '4beasts !"
"Well, yea." I sed, "we had' nowand
then a man among us who isn't a cold
bluded scoundril." "Young man," I
mildly but gravely sed "this crooil war
is over, and you're lie ?.lts father ne
cessary for sombody to lick hi a good
square, lively file, and in this 'ere ase
it happens to be the United States of
America. You fit splendid,' but it was
too many for you. Then make the best
of it, & let us give in and put the Repub
lic on a firmer basis ncr ever.
"I don't gloat over your misfortins,
my young fren." Fur from it. I'm a
old man now, & my hart is softer nor it
once was. You see my spectacles is
misten'd with suthin' like tears. I'm
thinkin' of the sear of good rich Blood
that has been spilt on both sides in this
dreadful war ! I'm tonkin' of our wid
ders and orfund North, and of your'n in
the South. I kin cry both for both.
B'leeve me, my young fren"1, 1 kin place
my old hands tenderly on the fair young
hed of the Virginny maid, whose lover
was laid low in the battle dust by a fed-
ral bullet, and say as fervently and as
piously as a vener'ble sinner like me
kin say anythin God be good to you, my
poor dear, my poor dear !"
I ri? up to go, & takiV my young
Southern fren' kindly by the hand, I
sed, "Young man, adoo ! You Southern
fellers is probably my brothers' tho' you
have occasionally had a cussed queer way
of showin' it J It's over now.. Let us
all jine in and mak a kuntry on this con
tinent that shall giv' all Europe the
cramp in the stummuck ev'ry time they
ook at us ! Adoo ! adoo !"
And as I am through, I'll likewise say
adoo to you, jentle reader , merely re-i
markin' that the Star Spangled Banner
is wavin' round loose agin, and that
there don't seem to be anything the mat
ter with the Goddess of Liberty beyond
a slite cold.
ARTEMUS WARD.
THE DISIiONTENTED PEAZANT.
BY PETROLEUM y. fJASDY.
Wunst upon a time, long afore the
flud, when man wuz in his highly origi
nal and prime evil stait, (which menes
mat ne wuz wiciceaer man ne nez ever
been sence) uvsin, and wiekidnis, Abou
Ben Hadem flourisht in Abissinny, wich
is a stait summers, down east.
Abou Ben Hadem wuz a profit. He
had bin in the profit biznis fer sum 2
hundred yeers, and wuz currently re
ported and ginerally beleeved that he
cood beet enny profit in them eastern
counties, with wun hand tied behind hirn.
Wunst on a time, jest after he had
partaken uv his froogle breakfust uv
porter-hawse steak, stufft with Camden
and Amboy oysters, and wuz a musin
onto the mutability uv Rhine wine and
a meershaum, wun uv thejpezentry uv
that country approacht.
"Art thou Abou Ben Halem ?" inter-
roiratid the stranger.
"I am he," replied Abou, "what
wouldst thou with me :"
"Behold iu2 me, wun who is dissatis
fied with his lot," replied tlie intelligent
yomanry.
"All men are so, my ton, retortid
Abou. "I kin see sich in nny grocery.
Life is made up uv dissatiifactions. Wun
wants riches, another fame, sum chase
wun fleetin shadder, sumUnother, but
alars ! all er doomed 2 disappointment.
Let 143 inwest in Harlem sdx and double
our munny we repine th we dident
buy Oil sheares and treble it. But what
wouldt thou ?" J
"Mighty Ben Hadem, j my." name is
Norval on the Grampian hills my fath
er fed his flox, of froogal' swane, and
when the old gentleman pegged out he
willed em all 2 me. I shejr thern sheep
and wash the wool and cattl it and spin
it, and weav it and make it into gar
menc. Why Abou, cood not Ncher
hev made my sheep to grow rolls nAtid
uv wool, and save me the trubble."
"My jentle friend," replied Abou, "go
thy way. HentUth thy theep shel grow
rolls instid uv wool.
(A week ersich a matler is sposed 2
hev elapst.) j
The sturdy yomanry niurned.
"Wat no w," sed Aboui"was not thy
desire gratinea "
"Yes rruchly," replid tie high minded
constitooent, "the sheep jrew rolls and
good rolls too. But grcit Abou, why
coodent Nacher, while she was about it,
hev mad the f-hepp rrowlvarn instid uv
rolls'."
"Go to thy native mountains thy
sheep shall grow fine yarn uv menny
colors," -
(Another week goes by.)
"Again here," said Abou. Artest
thow not satisfied ? What woodest thou
now ?"
"Mity profit," all things is ez easy
ez turnin Jack frum the bottom, 2 thee.
My sheep grow yarn- Is it askin too
much to hev them grow cloth. Then
wood my labor be lightened I shood
hev but to cut it and sevit" iu2 gar
menc." "Be it so, but bother me no jnore. I
am Cheerman uv the Execootive Com
mitty uv my ward, and the eleckshun i3
but 3 weeks off. Go and be satisfied.
Cloth it is."
(A week passes by, like a dream.)
"Mighty Abou,"
"How now thy importunity displeas-
es me. l nev d times granna toy ae-
sires. VYat wantest tnounow v
"Mighty Abou, trooly at thy biddin
my mereenos.which I importid from Ver
mont, hev yeeldid rolls and yarn and
cloth. Why, oh profit, coodent they.jest
ez well grow Clothing Reddy made, with
a Amerrikin watch in the fop, and a
pocket book filled with gfeen-bax and
9. plug uv Cavendjsh tobacker in the
trousis pokkit. Grant me but this and
"Away on grateful, and let me see thy
face no more. I granted, thy abserd
wishes to show that Nacher did jest all
for U3 that we needed that the balance
we must work out ourselves, and that
had she dun more we wocd still hey tin
dissatisfied. At fust it wuz rolls, then
yarn, then cloth, and now yoo want close
reddy-made. Go back yer sheep grows
common wool again. Sposin J had given
yoo all yooaskt wat, ob'miseralbe wood
.nn Kmr Viarl 9 Ant Vnn xrrrA onnrro
juu uc. . wvv""w
lazy, filthy aqd rotten. Yoo wood ball
around groceries, mix irt-pallytix, and
become a noosancejQ0 ..yourself and
friends. Laber is Heavon's law. Nach
er gives us the raw material, and 2 keep
us busy she requires us to work it in2
shape. Nacher gives us korn-: it is dooty
2 mak it in2 whisky and sich other pro
dux ez go 2 sustane life. Without laber
life is a cuss with it we are happy. A
bizzy man hasent time 2 refjict upon wat
a mizzable cuss he is which reflexion
in men uv high minds wood leed to
sooiside. Go thy ways. Be virchus and
yool be happy."
Morel. Employment uv wun kind er
another is a necessity. For my part I
keep myself bizzy in getten a livin orf
uv other people's labor, and in these
degenerate days it's jest all I kin do.
Morel Number 2. The more we git
the more we want. Wich is new.
Dan Marble was occe strolling along
the wharves in Boston, when he met a
tall, gaunt-figure, a "digger" from Cal
ifonia, and got into conversation with
him.
"Healthy climate, I suppose?"
"Healt by?" itaint anything else, why
stranger, the re you can choose any cli
mate you like,hot or cold, and that with
out traveling more than fifteen minutes.
Just think of that the next cold morning
when you get out of bed. There's a
mountain there, with a valley on each
side of it, the one hot, and the other cold.
Well, get on the top of the mountain
with a double barrelled gun, and you can,
without moving, kill either summer - or
winter game, just as you will ?"
"What, have you ever tried it ?"
"Tried it ! often ; and should have
done pretty well, but for one thing."
"I wanted a dog that would stand both
climates. The last dcr I had froze eff
his tail while pintin' on the summer side.
He didn't get entirely out of the winter
side, you see trew as yqu lives." Mar
ble shoped.
We haven't heard cf a richer thing
tan was lately perpetrated upon a book
store clerk, Everybody has heard jokes
perpetrated upon the odd names which it
is the fashion to bestow upon books now-
a-days, but, we venture to say, nothing
richer than this incident. A well-known
wag stepped into a book-store in town,
and inquired, "Have you 'The Woman
in White?" "Yes," replied the clerk.
'All Alone ?" asked the searcher after
literature. "Yes," responde4 the clerk
"In the Dark ?" still queried the ques
tioner. "Yes, sir," again promptly ans
wered the attendant. "Well, all I have
got to say is," retorted the wag, "you
have a mighty nice thin?- of it ! Good
cvemn
rr '
The firm of Gladstone & Co. went
in Lrtgiand for nbout 2 million rf d?lhr?.
Tbe National Defct.
The entire debt of the United States
is officially reported, under date of May
31st, at a little over twenty-six hundred
and thirty-five millions of dollars, which
is near five hundred millions more than
was estimated in the last report of the
Treasury Department. The exnc figures
are. as f ol!ow3 .. .
$1,10S,1 13,842 interest payable in gold.
1,053,476.371 interest payable currency.
472,829,270 treas'y not's not ba'g in's
7S6.270 past due.and int's ceased
$2,635,205,753
The annual interest in coin and cur
rency logetherjs over"one hundred and
twenty-four, millions, which is an incon
siderable fraction less than six per cent,
on the interest-paying portion. We are
now able for the first time to assign a
proximate limit to the debt, and to esti
mate very closely its yearly burden, on
the country . When all the expenses of
the war are settled the mass will doubt
less be near three thousand millions of
dollars. The policy pf the Government
will be to convert the Treasury notes in
to bonds with as little delay as possible.
At six per cent., which is the present
average rate, our annual interest will be
one hundred and eight millions of dol
lars. The estimated receipts for the year
ending June 30, 1865, are three hundred
and ninety-six millions as follows :
From Customs
From internal duties
From Janfjs
From miscellaneous
870,000,000
30,000,000
1,000,000
25,000,600
$396,000,000
The treasury estimates of expenses
for the same year, exclusive of war and
navy purposes, is :
por e ciyi sernce.
- S33.0S2.097
For person3 and Indians 14,196,050
S47,27S,147
If we add to this amount the interest
on the debt, and allow seventy-five mil
lions for army and navy expenses, we
shall have a total requirement of three
hundred and two millions. We may,
therefore, either reduce our taxes one
third or have an excess of near one hund
red millions to apply in liquidation of the
debt. Sound policy dictates that we shall
reduce the scale of taiation and keep it
low until need to the productive powers
of the country are fully restored to activ
ity, rather than to push immediately upon
liquidation. We shall then have the
whole country from which to reap income,
instead of the half as novv, and the reduc
ed scale, spread over double the surface,
will not need to be enlarged.
This is certainly a very satisfactory
exhibition. We announce it as a fact
capable of demonstration, that our taxa
tion might this day be reduced one-third,
or, if the five hundred millions of treas
ury notes be not funded, to fully one-half
of the present rates, and the gridual ex
tinction of the debt go on successfully.
If cur allowance for the army and navy
appears small, we have cn, the other hand
made none for increased revenue from
imports, on which we may probably de
pend for twenty-five millions more than
is officially set down. The treasury
estimate of but one million of receipts
from the sale of public lands wa3 made
under the depression of war. Now this
is relieved and peace is established, with
an active tide of emigration, we may ex
pect them to assume something like the
old proportions of eight millions a year,
At a lively village in Illinois, not far
from. Woodstock, they have a benevol
ent association,one of whose objects is to
watch with and take czre of its members.
Last fall an unmarried ycung lady was
admited to membership. Jn a couple of
months she was blessed with a bright
eyed babe, and was very sick. Some of
the lady members expressed to the chief
officer of the association their indignation,
and asked him if he really thought it
their duty to visit the unfortunate one.
"Well," said he, after much deliberation,
"I suppose not. You are not obliged to
watch where there is a contagious dis
ease
The Mexican emigration movement has
been in Hudson county ,N.Y., for some
time past, and parties prominent in the
movement state that over 700 names have
already been enrolled.
The average pay due each soldier is
two hundred and fifty dolors, and the
Goverment is ready to pay and'disrhar
ge
PTery man of th? two irmic- hp
An exchange publishes the; following
a lphabetical record of the Ttellipn-
A Stands for Andersonville the ghasN
ly inonumet cf the most revolting cut
rage of the century.
B Stand for Booth let h"3 taeracry bo
swallowed up in oblivion.
C Stands for panada, the aslyum, cf
skedaddlers, and the nest in which
foul traitors have hatched their eggs
of trea on.
D St ands for Davis the'most eminent
low comedian, in t,ha female character,
of the age.
E Stands iot England an enemy k
our adversity ; a sycophant in our pros
perity Music by tho band, air,
Yankee Doodle.
F Stands for Freedom he bulwark
o the nation.
G Stands for Grant-the undertaker
who officiated at the burial of the re
bellion. H Stands for Hardee-his tactic3 couldn't
save him.
I Stands forjnfamy the spirit of treat
son. J Stands for Justice give it to tho
traitors.
K Stands for Kearsarge for further
particulars see Mr3. Willow's Sooth
ing Syrup. .
L Standi for Lincoln we moura h;3
loss.
M Stands for Mascn (more m,u,aic by
the band ; air, "There? came to tho
beach a poor exile, &c, &c.)
N Stands for Nowhere the present
location of the C. S. A.
O Stands for "O, dear, what can tho
matter be?" For answer to this, ques
- tion, apply to Kirby Smith.
P Stands for Peacg nobly woq. hy the
gallant soldiers of the Unin. ;
Q Stands for Quantrell one . of " tho
gorillas in the rebel menagerie.- -r
R Stand3. for Rebellion which is .no
longer able to stand for itself. .
S Stands for Sherman he has a friend
and vindicator in Grant. . . . ,
T Stands for Treason with a halter
round its neck.
U--Stands for Union "Now and .forev
er, one and inseparable."
V Stands for Victory rfqrther explana
tion 13 unnecessary.
W-r-Stands for Washington-r-tho "Nation
i true to his memory.
X Stands for Xtraditjon English pa
pers please copy.
Y-Stands for Young American who
stands by the Union.
Z Stands for Zodaic the stan are all
there.
(Musjc by the band
"Tho Star-tfpanglaJ Banner, O long may it ware,
u er tae land oi ta rroo, an tne hiiat el ui
brare.)
We all remember the story of the inn
keeper who became proudaa he prosper
ed, and taking down hi? sign of ths Ass,
put up a portrait cf George IV. in ha
place. His neighbor irnmediatrly raised
theast-off effigy, and "in this sign ho
conquered." The first landlord, alarmed
at the increasing popularity of his rival,
and understanding the cause, wrote un
der the grim visage of h;3 Majesty, "This
is the real A33."
But a more ludbcroa3 of the kind 13
just now told at the expense of the good
Bishop Llan;4aff. He took up his abod j
near the head of Lake Windermere,
where tho principal inn had been known,
as the Cock ; but the landlord, by way
of compliment to his distinguished neigh
bor, substitu:cd the Bishop a3 the new
sign. An inn-keeper close by, who had
frequently envied mine host of the Cock,
for his good fortune in secureing a con
siderable preponderence of visitor?, took
advantage of the change, and attracted
many travelers to his house by putting
up the sign of the Cock. Tho landlord
with the new sign wa3 much discomfited
at seeing many of his old customers de- ;
posited at his rival's establishment Se, "
by way of remedy, he put up An large,'
red letters, under the portrait of the Bish-
op, "This is the old Cock."
Secretary McCulloch i3 restoring tho
machinery for the collection of customs
in the Southern States. Tho President
has already made appointment of collec
tors at Savannah, Charleston, Mobile and
Pensaeola. .
A youngster on coming home from his.
first term at a boarding school," tnd pa
bein- asked what he h'ea fed oa.reVf
plisd, -Multiplication tatlfs'haste
stewed substraction." -d
Jeff Davis might have d
he' Preferred m. Iir-,. u gam?
J ga
j
' - pvpryr"Fv