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About Nebraska advertiser. (Brownville, Nemaha County, N.T. [Neb.]) 1856-1882 | View Entire Issue (June 2, 1859)
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DEVOTED TO ART, SCIENCE, AGRICULTURE, COMMERCE, - NEWS, POLITICS GENERAL INTELLIGENCE AND THE INTERESTS OF NEBRASKA. ,
CITY OF BKOWNVILLE, NEMAHA COUNTY, N. T., THURSDAY, JUNE 2, 1859.
rCLI3BIJ JTEBT THCRSDAY BT
!r. w. fuenas,
-aniStory Hoadleyfc Muir's Building,
fCorncr of Min and First Street!.)
, II. I W II
.rrifpaikin aivance, - - $2,00
aroney1;1 aUUe en4of 6 monthi, 2,50
" " 'an 14 ' 44 " 12 ' 300
il'f 1J or more will be furnished at $1,50 per
ittbol ,ve caBh acompaniei the order,
,a,prondel w- v
RATES OF ADVERTISING ; .
e,,ar.a leSJ)ono inSertion,
4 eix months,
j . one jear,
.i.ei.Card f iix linei or lesi, one year,
e Column one jear,
Vhalf Column, one jear, .
j Culomn.nx month!,
I kilfCoIamn,ix months,
i;hth " " "
I half Cjlamo, throe months',
tnowinzndidatea for otSce C?n adrance,) 5,00
CITY DM STODS.
JOHN H. I.IATJN & CO.,
BROWNVILLE, N. T. ,
CHEMICALS, TOILET SOAPS,
Fine Hair and Tooth Brashes,
PKRFOIERY, FAIVCY & TOILET
rU. C. JOHNSON,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
, nnr.iTOR IN CHANCERY
SOLICITOR IN CHANCERY
1 VT T
" Ileal Estate Ascnt,
BROWNVILLE, K. T.
lt.S.Uentlr, 44 " '
John O. Mi'.ler, Chicago, 111.
Wui.K.McMUster, " 44 '
Charted.. Fowler, " u "
H. W. Furnas, BrownTille,.T.
O. F Uke, 4 44
ty 7, 1857. "
. 47-1 y
Jabinet & Wagon-Haker
Main Street, bet. Sixth and Seventh,
imOlVAVILEE, !V. T.
All kini of cut-inet work neilr executed.
EJ-apirinB of rgon plows, etc., promptly done.
. joiin Mcdonough.
louse, Sign, & Ornamental Painter, i
HnOTVXTIEI.E, 3V. T,
ry -rder can t e 1 eft t the City Prug Store.
Buchanan Life and Grcneral
t ZuBixxaixco Oo.r
Office cor 2d and Jule sts.,
, AT. JOSEPH, JO.
t'HilTtRED AT TDK LAST SESSION OF THI MO. L0
i iuthorizci Capitol S3,000,000.
' J.B.Jennings, I. U. Howard, J. A.Owen.Miltoti
tooth, John Clhc un, John II. Likens, Yf . II.I eneik,
hmts Kay, N.J. McAiihan , A. O. MansSeer. .
' J.Ii. JEXMXUS, Tres.
' K.R.McArhan, Sec'y.
IS now ready to receive application for Life, Fire,
Marine and Hirer risks. A cash return of 25 pee
tent, will be allowed on cargo premiums. Losssr
promptly adjusted, and the usual facilities given to
ihe patrons of the office.
ApriU6th,1857. 4t 'm
JOHK. F. XIXX8Y.
CHAR. Yt HOLLY.
Pare Wines and Liquors for
5j Pbysicians' Prescriptions and Family Becipes
All orders correctly answered. Every article war
ranted genuine and of the bett quality.
tj- AGEXTS'for all leading Tattnt Medicine
CITY TETJHK STORE.
FASSETT & CROSSIX&IT,
Traveiliiig & Pocldng
VALISES, CARPET BAGS, $C.
South West corner of Pine and 3d st's,
Saint Louis, Mo.
f ' ' L V Ve are now prepared to fill all orders
V .'t n our ,ine wiltl promptness and on the
r 1 (i Irf r th e most reasonable terms. Our stock Is
is T.Lilarpe and complete and all of our own
manufacturing. Thoe in want of articles In our line,
(wholesale or retail) will do well to Rive us a call be
fore purchasing elsewhere. A share of public patron
ape U solicited. . nl83-ly
Ylocks, Watches & Jewelry.
Would announce to the citizens of Brownville
nd vii-initT that he has located himself in
liiiJorOwilvlue, UDmniem Keeping a iuii eori.
uient uf everything in his line of business, which will
be sold low for cash. lie will also do all kinds of re-
rairinc of clocks, watches and jewelry. All work war
It. E. POMEKOY
Lockwood & Pomeroy,
Wholesale and Kctail Dealers in
hats km am
AIbo, Shippers of American Purs of every de
scription ; lor wfiicn tney wiu pay
the highest Market Price,
COUNTRY Merchants are invited to examine our
stock of Hats & Caps for the approaching Spring
and Summer trade, which will be large, fashionable,
and well selected. In point of variety our stockshall
not be excelled by any House in St. Ijouis.
Our prices will be low, terms accommodating.
Call and see us at our New Store. Second St.
St. Joseph, Mo. 32-6m
Are an vnequallrd Tonic and Stomachic, a positive
end palatable Remedy for general Debility, Dyt
peptia, loss of Appetite end all diseases of the
K1NNF.Y &. HOLLY.
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
I XCUIUSIiA Ulll, A.
5 Will practicein the Courts of this Territory. Collec
tiM and criminal lusine&s attended to throuphout
truka, Western Iowa and Missouri. Will attend the
Court at Brownville. v2n33-6m
j E. S. DUNDY,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
' r ARCHER, Rid! ARDSON CO. If. T.
I WllL practice la the several Courts of the id Judicial
Uistrict, and attend to all matters connected with i the
Pmfe.sion. WM. McLeksam, .Ksq., of Nebrask' Citj,
111 asKlst m In the prosecution of important Suits.
Sept. 10, '61-11-tf
i C. W. WHEELER,
;Arcliitect and Builder.
MISS" MARY TURNER,
MILLI1IER AMD DRESS MAKER.
1 Itiin Street, cn e door above Carsons Bank.
L BROWNVILLE, N. T.
j Bonnets and Trimmings always on hand.
JAMES W. GIBSON,-'
Second Street. between Main and Nebraska,
BROWNVILLE, N. T.
1 ED. YT. MOORE,
I General Steamboat Agent,
' fQlWAKDlSG VOMMISSIOX MERCHANT,
j rnSKASKA CITY, N. T.
i -iwoiit told ouCouauiiusion and prompt returns made.
s "rtlcnlirattentlcn Riven to receiving, Storing and For-
arUnt allkindttof freight and produce.
. . Offlce on the Levee.
, 5torkone in tie same block with Kearney Ilotel.
! Refer to the Merchants of Kebraiska Citvj
i lftichelStLou;sMo; Hari.er ft Sicuder St. Louis;
i joliB A. Warden ' Joseph Jlclntyre "
; Telford, Finnck. Co" 1 Barcklar, Hinklefc Co "
t April M.1S53 ' vJ-44-Ty .
t MEMAHA LAUD AGENT,
sniTEYOXl & ROTARY PHI LIC,
5"ill select lands, Investigate titles, pay taxes, &.C.,
in K.an or Nebraska; buy, sell, and enter
jUon commission; invent in town property, buy or
" ' the tame, and will always have on hand correct
t of townsbir, counties, Kc., showing al I lands sob
rto entry, aud where desired will furnish parties Ilv
intn the states with the same.
wing the oldest settler in the county will in all
? bIe to t,T tul1 nd "liable information.
AMrm A. L. Coate, either at Browtviileor Nemaha
Nebraska Territory. . 6m-42-v
i PROVISION HOUSE,
i Old Stand of M: P. CLAAK,
i ' BROWNVILLE, N. T.,
u!rec,,l be fonn1 raU supply of Family Groceries
! CiifrTr c Cf"' Mckrl and Cod Fish, Teas, Sugar,
a ' ' N uU w'ne Crackers and Cheese, Liquors
5 Ljq.l, S'rllilc' CigtTB and Tobacco, Oysters and
i kerr.iL ' racl,e'" Pranes, Blackberries and Wnortle
Vh rUdes orally kept In a Fancy Grocery
tttast W,M 8CU for chb or Produce as cheap asthe
i Pttroc, :'U Elv me ' 6har a ' r conliouo
rnuille,Jtly 15lh,155S. T3a3
These Bitters are a sure Preventive of
FEVER AUD AGUE !
Tbey are prepared from the purest materials by an old
anu experienced Druggist, ana mererore csuue icum
THEY AID DIGESTION!
By gently exciting the system into a healthy action; are
pleasant to the taste, and also give mai vigor vw
the system that is so essential to health.
3-A wine glass full maybe taken two or three times
a day before eating.
Prepared only by W, Jj. M'TTUTT,
ST. LOUIS, 3IO.
Oct. 59. '63 IS-ly
DROYFtf & CXIXTOX,
Forwarding & Commission
No. 78, North Levee, St. Louis, Mo.
Hi-Hat-, fnr Groceries and Manufactured Articles accn
ratelv filled at lowest possible rates. Consignment for
sale and re-shipment rcFpectully solicited. Shipments
of all kinds will be faithfully attended to.
Messrs. G II Rea & Co St. Louis
Birtlett. McComb &Co do
" Gillert, Miles &. Stannard do
lion. W II Bufflngton, Auditor State of Missouri
. JQIIarmon, Kq, Cairo City, 111.
Messrs Molony, Bro's &Co' New Orleans, Louisiana
JD Jackson, K.q., do do
Messrs Hinkle, Guild & Co, Cincinnati, O.
F JJainmaritCo do
Brandell & Crawford Louisville, Ky.
Woodruff i Huntington, Mobile, Ala.
II. Billings, Esq., Bearditown, 111.
May 12, 16SS 45-3m
HAYDEN & WILSON.
Importers and Manufacturers of
i3 E U Xji ES "5T
Carriage Trimmings, Saddle Trees,
llames, bpnns and Axles,
ratrnt and Enameled Leatlier,
No. 11, Main Street. St. Louis, Mo.,
Are prepared to offer to their customers and the trade
an assortment of articles unsurpassed, in quality and
cheapness, by any House in tneir line, uapi, or cm.
WEBSTER MARSH & CO.,
Slanufacturers and Wholesale Dealers
Ready Made Clothing,
So, lain St., St. Louis, Mo.
SHIRTS, DRAWERS, OVERALLS, SHIRTS,
and all kinds of
ALSO FALL STOCK OF
GENT'S AND BOY'S CLOTHING,
Which we offer as low as any ITouse In the City.
WEBSTER, MARSH k. CO.
D. l. M'GABT.
O. . HIWITT
Eagle Hills. .
ST. JOSEPH, KO.
' JAMES CARG ILL Proprietor.
II TANUFACTURE3 and keeps constantly
JLtjL on hand fcr sale, all kinds of Flour. JI ml,
and Feed stuffs. Orders solicited and promptly tiled
on most favorable terms. Crush paid constantly for
Wheat. For character of Flour refer to everybody
that ever used it. .
S. Joseph, Mo., Aug. 3D, IS 55. ?Inl3-y .
McGARY & HEWETT,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW
SOLICITORS LY CHANCERY.
Will practice In the Courts of Kebraska.and Korth
Messrs. Crow, McCreary .Co.,
lion. James M. Hughs,
Hon. Joba R. Sbeply, - -Hon.
James Craig, '
non. Silus Wootlson.
J ud(?e A. A. Bradford,
S. T. Nuckolls, Esq.,
St. Louis, Mo.
St. Joseph, Mo.
Kinssev k. Holler. Nebraska Citv.
Cheever Sweet & Co., do
J. Sterling Morton do
Brown At BenneU, Erownvllle
R. W. Furnas do
Brownville, N. T. Nov. 18, 1858. Tgn21
COUNCIL BLUFFS, IOWA.
Empire Block, No. 3.
WILLIAM F. KITEIt,
Wonld inform the public that he baa opened a first
class Book Bindery, and Is now preparid to do all kinds
of Book Binding old or new, bound or re-bound upon
the shortest possible notice, and on the most reasonoble
Orders received for all kinds of Blank work.
July 1, 1863-ly.
Watchmaker & Goldsmith,
ROCK PORT, MO.
BEGS leave to inform the public that he hat located
intbeabova named town and offers for sale a choice
CL O CKS, WA TCHES, JE WELR Y,
and othcrarticles usually kept in such establishments at
prices which cannot be complained of. Being an exper
ienced watchmaker he flatters himself that in repairing
watches, clocks and jewelry he can give perfect satiblac-
tioa. 19 em.
JAMES HOG AN.
BLANK BOOK MANUFACTURES,
Southeast cr. 2nd and Locust St's.
ST. LOUIS, MO.
All kinds of Blank Books, made of the best paper, ruled
to any pattern, and sewed in the new improved patent
3ICBA11IES PEEIODICAIjS, MUSIC. &c,
bound in any style, and at the shortest notice.
Having been awarded the Premium at the last Me
chanics Fair, he feels condident in insuring satisfaction
to all who may give him a call.
July 22d, 1S6S. Iyv3n
DR. D. GWIN,
Having; permanently located in
For the practice of Medicine and Surgery, ten
ders his professional services to the afflicted.
Uffice on Main btreet. nonv-i
A. W. ELLIOTT,
IT tlx 2 as n? -y
Cor. Broadivay and TYasli Street.
ST. LOUIS, MISSOURI.
Ilaving purchased the entire nursery stock of John
SiggTson 6c. Bro., I am prepared to offer to the public
the largest and best selected stock of Fruit Shade, and
Ornamental taees, shrubs and plants ever offered for
sale in the Wet. We are determined tooffer such in
ducements to tree planters and the trade as will ensure
the most entire satisfaction. Descriptive catalogues will
be furnished, and any information given, by addressing,
A. W. hLLlDll,
Saint Louis, ilo.
November 35, '58-Iy.
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
REAL ESTATE AGENT,
Falls City, Richardson County, Nebraska.
Wi I give prompt attenti n to all professional busi
ness intrusted to his care in Richardson and adjoining
counties; also to the drawing of deeds, pre-emption pa
pers, &.C, a c. . May 13, '63 n4G-m
D. LANDRETH & SONS,
AXD SEED STORE,
.Vo. 18, South Main Street, opp. New Exchange Build.
St. Louis, Missouri.
Constantly on hand, Garden Grass, and other seeds ;
the Garden seeds are, with slight exception, the produce
of grounds cultivated under the strict personal inspec
tion of the senior partner of the bouse. Also a large
variety or Agricultural Implements, partly of our own
53Cata!oinjes furnished gratis.
Feb. 24, '59 36 3m
A. S. HOLLADAY, M. D.
Respectfully informs his friends in Brownville and
immediate vicinity that he has resumed the practice of
medicine, Surgery, & Obstetrics,
and hopes, by strict attention to his profession, to receive
that generous patronage heretofore extended to him. In
all cases where it is possibleor expedient, a prescription
business will be done. Office at City Drugstore.
Feb. 24, '60. 85.1y
RANDALS, G0ULEY & CO.
CORKER OF VINE AND COMMERCIAL STS.
Number 54, North Levee,
St. Louis, Missouri
Cash advances made on consignments,
rdcrs for Merchandise solicited and promptly
filled. Corn, Oats, Hides and Produce generally
soli on Commission.
March 3, 1S58. ly.
Attorney and Counsellor
TYPE & STEREOTYPE FOUNDRY
No. 168 Vine Bt-bet.Fourthajaalift,
C. F. O'DRISCOIVL U CO
Mtnnfjict nrers and dealers in Newg, Book and Job
Type, Printing Presses, Cases, Gallies,Ae, Ac.
Iaks, and Printing Material of Every Description,
STEREOTYPING of all kind Rxks, Music.
Patent Medicine Directions, Jobs, Wood Engravings,
Brand and Pattern Letters, various styles,
OrFlCH Main Sf, Last of Kmnty tr Holly's ojf.ct,
Nebraska City, N. T.
Fenonswho contemplate building can be furnished
with Designs, Flans, Specifications, Ice. for buildings oi
any class or variety of sryle, and the erection ofthe
same superintended if doired. Prompt attention paid
to business from a distance. ftiif
A. D. KIRK,
-'Attorney at ILaw,
Land Agcat and Rotary Public.
Rulo, Richardson Co., JV. T.
"Will practice in the Courts of ssistodNebraska,
by Ilardins and DennetNebradka City.
The Editor. :
It would require a master hand to
sketch, with fidelity, that poor, abused
class, known as editors. As a contempo
rary truly remarks, he may be the V respon
sible," the foreign," the "literary," the
"local," the "commercial" in either de
partment he is the subject of laudation,
abuse, trials and triumphs.- He must have
a ready pen, remarkable " versatility of
kuowledge, a correct judgment and con
siderable nerve. If you intrude upon him,
you will find him writing, reading, scis
soring. He will talk, but his pen does
not stop ; he spatters the ink ; he fumbles
over books ; he hunts among newspapers;
he grows savage in a "leader," or he is
learned in a "review." Politicians want
to buy him; needy artists ask hi3 favor
able notice ; inventors have models to
show him; some want to thank hira others
desire to shoot him. He is addressed upon
more subjects than it was ever intended
a single mind should comprehend ; and,
while his journal is called by some "in
fluential," '.'valuable," etc., there are
those who bluntly pronounce it "scurri
lous," and "poor." Swimming upon floods
of excitement, battling, chafing, arguing,
consenting, e'xalting friends and crushing
foes, thinking, working, is the sum and
substance of an editor's career. At home,
he writes with his wife at his elbow, and
his child on his knee ; in the streets, he
weaves out those ideas which, in a few
hours, will startle the men who now jostle
and crowd him ; in his sanctum, he makes
ready thunderbolts, moulded with a pen,
but more powerful than any ever hurled
from Jove. He delivers lectures; he is
a politician; he holds office; he is a travel
er; he gives a verdict upon manuscripts
which are more precious than the apple
of their eye to aspiring authors: he helps
on the opera, he bolsters the drama ; he
pleads for the poor, he snubs the rich ; he
conciliates, he defines; he arouses nations,
he dethrones kings; he is the guardian of
liberty, and omnipotent.
Up in garrets in out of-the-way places
sometimes furnished like a parlor, some
times worse than a pig-pen is his sanc
tum sanctorum, the "holy of holies." Are
you partial to frowns ? . Do you wish to
hear a growl ? Disregard the notices of
"Editor's Room," "Private," "No Ad
mittance," and enter the den ; you observe
the contracting brow; you do not know
whether you are saluted or insulted ; your
tongue proposes to speak, and your legs
incline you to run away ; a head lifts it
self ; a worn pen and inked lingers point
you a seat, which it takes you an instant
to reach, but, ere you have done so, the
monster has his clutches so deeply in an
idea, that he has forgotten your existence.
There you sit; you try to count the pyra
mids of newspapers, and wonder if, to be
an editor, is necessary to be a savage.
You see books and maps; but you would
as soon meddle with the cub of a bear as
anything in which the wild animal before
you has an interest. Delegations of devils,'
from the printing office, come for 'copy,
and a great many things going on which
are strange to you. Other gentry come
in, who glance contemptuously at yourself.
They seat themselves, and you hear
nothing but scratch, scratch, with gold
pens, steel pens and goose quills; they
pull at their whiskers; they clear their
throats; they look up at the ceiling; they
help each other when their ideas run a
ground; they write and rewrite ; they ex
punge and amend ; they become cheerful,
if their productions please them, and crusty,
if they do not. Now, remember that this
mental toil must go on by day and by night,
when the head is dizzy with sickness, and
the heart weary with sadness, that it en
tails study, research, and thought; that
the themes are suggested, and must be
discussed within the hour; and you will
understand why you are not wanted in an
editor's sanctum. Presently, however, he
will talk to you; he will cut short your
long speeches ; he will bring you directly
to your business; he will dispatch it; and
you will at once discover that necessity, if
not inclination, urges him to resume his
pen. In summer, when the flowers are so
tempting, at midnight, with the glare of
artificial light pouring upon him, there he
is a toiling slave. He writes of your
pleasureshe adds to your joys. Do you
ever think of his exhausted . brain, his
fading life, his premature death? Lit
erature was, perhaps, a passion of his
boyhood, and he has pursued the wicked
phantom from year to year, finding, in
the gratification of a refined taste, seme
small reward for his painful infatuation.
"Office" is the Circean cup which trans
forms energetic and capable men into lazy
and inanimate drones. It has been the
curse of many a noble-minded man we
could name. To be an office-holder in
California .is to be "a hale fellow well
met" with all sorts of people, the high and
low; and, nine times in ten, the end i3
the drunkard's grave or the depths of
social depravity. Look about cs and we
may see hundreds of individuals who have
held high offices in California, men who
but a few years since were quoted as para
gons of integrity and honesty, but now
there are "none so poor to do them rever
ence." Go to Sacramento and there you
will find scores lying around, Lazarus-like,
waitinsr for the crumbs that fall from
the public table. Men with strong arms
and brilliant intellects give over honorable
pursuits to stand the hazard of the w.nti-
cai die. v hat a difference- there, is te-
between the wages of honest labor and
the emoluments of political service ! In
the one case the laborer is paid a fixed
sum for a certain amount of services
rendered, while the politician invests hi3
time and talents in a species cf lottery,
the prizes of which are "fat" offices, and
the blanks misery, despair, "free-lunches"
and seddiness! Who then will deny that
office-holding is not a poison to energy,
manliness and independence ? Office
seeking brings out the lowest traits in a
man's character, and the arts of the un
scrupulous politician, his craft and trick
ery, have brought reproach and supicion
upon ail who follow the trade. The honest
and capable no longer had living show,
but are sacrificed to the claims of the pro
fessional wire-puller. It is rare now-a-days
that a really deserving man is elevat
ed to an office. . To be ignorant of the
trickeries of elections, and too conscien
tious to practice them, is to fail in passing
the flaming ordeal of King Caucus, and
be doomed to a back seat in the political
synagogue. At the opening of the Leg
islature, the other day, we are informed
that Sacramento swarmed with office
seekers. For about twenty small places
in the gift of the powers that be, some
three or four hundred hungry applicants
were in attendance, begging, with all the
persuasive eloquence of a legless street
mendicant, for the bestowal of political
alms. Of course nine-tenths of them were
disappointed, and will have to wait a little
longer for the realization of their hopes.
As "hope deferred maketh the heart sick,"
so office deferred maketh the aspirant a
free-luncher ! California Paper.
The Number Three.
There is a strong prejudice in favor of
the figure seven. The ancients spoke of
it as the "sacred number." There were
seven plagues. The week is divided into
seven days. Our constitution is changed
every seven years. The poet has rendered
memorable that figure by a production
never to be forgotten, namely: "We are
seven !" That mathematical paradox,
nine, has also its votaries, most respecta
ble computors. There" were also nine
wonders. Let me ask, however, what is
the number but the square of three ? As
for three, its history, its beginning dates
from the creation of the world. It is
found in every branch of science, and
adapted to all classes of society. Now,
only have patience, and I will .state" ex
I commence with the Bible. When the
world was created, we find land, water
and sky ; sun, moon and stars. Noah had
but three sons, Jonah was three days in
the whale's belly, our Saviour passed three
days in the tomb. Peter denied his Saviour
thrice. There .were three Patriarchs,
Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Araham
entertained three angels. Samuel was
called three times.. "Simon, lovest thou
Me ?" was repeated three times. Daniel
was thrown into a den wnh three lions,
fr praying three times a day. Shadrach,
Meshech and Abednego were rescued
from the flames of the oven. The Ten
Commandments were delivered on the
third day. Job had three friends. St.
Paul speaks of faith, hope and charity,
these three. Those famous dreams of the
baker and butler were to come to pass in
three days ; and Elijah prostrated himself
three times on thetiead body of the child.
Samson deceived Dehlah three times be
fore she discovered the source of' his
strength. The sacred letters on the cross
are I. H. S.; so also the Roman motto was
composed of three words--" In Hoc Signo."
There are three conditions for man the
earth, heaven and hell ; there is also the
Holy Trinity. In Mythology, there were
three graces; Cerberus, with his three
heads; Neptune, holding his three-toothed
staff; the Oracle of Delphi cherished with
veneration the tripod; and the nine Muses
sprung from three. In nature, we have
male, female, and offspring ; morning,
noon and night. Trees group their leaves
in three; there is three leafed clover.
Every ninth wave is a ground-swell. We
have fish, flesh and fowl. The majority
of mankind die at thirty. What could be
done in mathematics without the aid of
the triangle; witness the power of the
wedge; and in logic three premises are
indispensable. It is a common phrase,
that "there is a lucky number."
"And your father," said a boarding
school lad to his companion, "has only
sent you two dollars ; he must be a mighty
"Well, I don't know ; two dollars is con
siderable," replied the other.
, "Whenever my father sends, he never
thinks of offering me less than, ten."
"How often dues he send ?"
. "Never." '. " ' " . -
Men do not libel women half so much
as women do. Here is a proof of it :
'. Bosom friend. Do you mean to tell
me that she never fainted ?
Intimate Acquaintance. No never tried
even ! and there never was so good an
opportunity ! .......
, Bosom jriend (triumphantly.) Then
she's reserving herself. You may be sure
she has some other faint in view. Pwich.
A counsellor sometimes fell asleep upon
the hench. One day,r the president,
gathering the votes of the court, and,
coming to ask his, he answered, starting
out of his sleep, and not being quite awake.
that his opinion was the man should be be
headed. "But the business is 'about a
meadow," said the president. "Let it
be mowed then," replied the counsellor.
What Happened At Our Hcnse. '
bt Ptek sroRca:, isq.
After we were married, well, say about
a year, wun rnomin' thar was a terrible
commoshun in our hous oe wimmin a
runnin' in an' out, and finally the doctor
he cum. I was in a great liurry, myself
waitin' . to heer, I hardly need what, but
arter a while an old granny of a woman
as had been very busy abou t thar, poked
her hed into the room wher X was a walk
in about ses she : .
"Mr. Sporum, hits a gal."
"What !" says I.
"A gal" ses she, and with thit she pops
her hed back agin.
Well, thinks I, I'm the daddy uv a gal,
and begin to feel my keepin' mitely I'd
ruiher it was a boy tho', thinks I, fur then
he'd feel nearer to me, as how he bare
my came, and thar wud be less chances
for the Sporums to run out, but consider
ing every thing a gall will do mity well
Jis then the old nus pokes her hed agin
Ses she, " anuther wud, Mr, Sporum,
a fine boy."
"Anuther," ses I, "that'srather crowd
in' things on a feller."
She laffed an' poked her hed back.
Well, thinks I, this is no joke sure; at
this lick I'll have family enuff to last me
a few 'ears, but the Lord's will, not mine,
be. dun. .
Jus then, the ole she devil, (always
will I hate her,) pokes her hed in an, ses:
r "Anuther gal, Mr. Sporum."
Anuther what ?" seal.
. "Anuther gal,", ses she.
"Well," seal, "go rite straight and tell
Sail, I won't stand it, I don't want 'em,
an I ain't going to have em ; dus she
think I'm a Turk? or a Mormon ? or
Brigum Young? that she'd go for to have
thribs? three at a pop? dus she think I'm
wuth a hundred thousand dollars ? that
I'm Jon Jacob Astor, or Mr. Roschile ?
that I kin afford to have thribs, an clothe,
an, feed, an' scool three chilunn at a time?
I ain't a goin' to stand it no how, I don't
want em, an I ain't a goin' to want em,
no, nur no other time. Havint I been a
good an dootiful husban' to Sal?. Ilaint
I kep in doors ur a nite, an' quit chawin'
tobacker an' smokin' segars,just to please
her? Haint I attended devine Wurship
regular? Ilaint I bought her all the
bonnets an frocks she wanted? an then fur
her to go an have thribbs. I won't live
with her, she noed better and hadn't orter
dun it. She dun it with iss open, and
mus take the consequences. I didn't think
Sal wud serve me such a trick no how.
Have I ever stole a horse ? Have I ever
dun any mean trick that she shud serve
me so? An with that I laid down on the
sette, an felt orfui bad, an the more I thot
about it, the wus I felt.
Presently, Sal's mammy, do Miss Jones
cums in, an ses :
Ses she, "Peter, cum in an see what
putty chiilun you've got."
"Chillun," ses I, "you'd better say a
hull litter. Now, Miss Jones, I luv Sail
you know, an har tried to make a
good husban', but I call this a scaly trick,
an ef thar is enny law in this country,
I'm a gwine too see ef a 'ornan kin have
thribbs, an make a man take care uv 'em.
I ain't a goin' to begin to do it," ses 1.
'With that she laffed fit u kill herself,
an made all sorts uv fun uv me, sed enny
uther man would be proud to be in my
shoes. I told her I'd sell out mity cheap
ef ennybody wanted to take my place.
Well the upshot uv it all was that she
persuaded me I wus all rong and got me
to go in whar they all wa3.
When I get in Sal looked so luvin' at
me, an reached out her little hands so
much like a poor helpless chile, that I
forgot ererything but luv fur her, and
folded her gently up to my heart, like a
preshus treasure, an felt like I didn't
keer ef she had too a had forty uv'em.
Jis then number wun set up a whine, like
a young pup, an, all the balance follered.
Them thribbs noed their daddy.
Well, every thing wus ra3id up, an Sal
promised she never wud do it agin, an
sense then I hev been hard at work ser
tain, workin' all day to make bred lur
them thribbs, an bussy nussin uv em at
nite. The fact is, ef I didn't have a
mity good constitution, I'd had to giv in
long ago. Number wun has the collick
an wakes up number two, an he wakes
up number three, an so it goes, an me a
fiyin all the time tryin to keep em qciet.
Now Mister Nuse, my advise to yu is
never to have thribbs ef yu want to keep
out uv trouble.
Alphabet or ProTcrs-
A grain of prudence is worth a pound
of craft. j
Boasters are cousins to liars.
Confession of a fault makes half amenda.
Denying a fault doubles it. '
Envy shooteth at others and wounds
herself. . ..
Foolish fear doubles anger.
God reaches us good things by our
. He has hard work who has nothing to
do. . .
It costs more to revenge wrongs than to
bear them. ' -
Knavery is the worst trade.
- Learning makes a man fit company for
himself. : " -
Modesty is a guard td virtue.
Not to hear conscience is the way. to
silence it. j ' : . .1 i ; - . .:
One hour to-diy is vrcrth two to-rr.:r
row. . .
Proud locks make a fcul work f :r ifiir
Quiet conscience gwes quiet s!c ?p. '
Rich is he that want3 least.
Small faults indulged ara litili thims
that let in greater.
The boughs that bear most har. lowest.
Upright walking is sure walkir.:;. i
Virtue and hs.f piness crs n.;;ier ;j-.3
Wise men make mere cj'or.uni'.ies
than they find.
You never lose by doing a good turn.
Zeal without kr.o.vkie is fire without
You iVciV -
The Louisville Courier savsth? fc!!)-r
ing was related to the editor by an eye
witness, and may be relied on as strictly
"A gentleman cf Henry County, fcr. 3 cf
the chase, hnd a couple of red foxes which
he had been keeping ia anticipation cf t
good old-fashioad Kentucky fox chis-?.
Accordingly, a week or two ago he invited
a few choice spirits to meet at hi 'planu
tion to participata in that sport, fcr ths
sake of which any true Kentuckizn wcula
break his neck with composure Our
friend took his fox to the woods acd turned
him loose. After giving hira suficient
time for a fair start, a favorite hound was
let loose and started cn the track, i After
awhile the whole pack of hounds were let
loose, and thedojsand mounted men com
menced the exciting ehase, guided by the
deep-mouthed yelps cf old "Spot.'' Juit ti
the chase had become exciting tha cr.-ua
of "Spot" became fcil sr. t. Great w-a th?
wonder thereat, and his owner w?.s con
jecturing a thousand excuses fcr ht.-n, wh?n
in turning a short corner the company met
old "Spot" and Reynard jcgir.g quist!
and cosily toward horn;.- The fx hal
been raised with the dogs, and pclttly
was up to snuff. When he found he wis
pursued he stopped and waited qulstfyf.r
the arrival of old "Spot," and by some
hocus "pocus succeeded ia bambccxUrj
that quadruped into friendship, zrA izr
duceing him to return to the houss c! the
hunter. The company missed their long
anticipated fox-chase, but they managed
to have a heap cf fun out of the owners
of the sagacious fox and amiable cl J hound
An Ajax in the army cf blcod-and-thunder
story-writers tells hi$ followers
how to do the thing. "Whenever yon
wish to get.up a story in the seasation'
style, do it in this wise : If ycu Lava
occasion to remark that your hero drer.k
a jug of beer, say : He reveled in the
foam-covered liquid he swallowed it
wildly, furiously paused for breaih
again sank his nose, mouth and chin into
the gigantic tankard, and with an appal
ling oath, that shook the rafters cf-the
crazy barn, shouted 'Tis done ! ha, ha !
I've swigged it all all every drop.! ha,
ha !' You see at once the picturesquenesu
of the latter mode of descripiicn; and
yet you will observe, after all, that it ex
presses the same event as the miserable
sentence, namely the fact cf his drink
ing some beer."
"Why, Jemmy, how awkwardly you
are eating! Do take your hand out of
your pocket." '
"It's my left hand, mother." . .
Well, what difference does that rr.ak??
"Why, I have been reading ths I2.lle?"
"Are you crazy? What has reading
the Bible to do with keeping ycur band
in your pocket?"
"Mustn't we uu the Bible tcllj us,
"Certainly, my child."
"Well, mother, it says, Let not thy
left hand know what thy right hand do;th;'
and don't you suppose it ud know I was
eatin bread and 'lasses with the right, if
I didn't hide it away?"
During the late war, & me3s cf cHicers
on the frontier had an hecest Irishman
for a servant. As they were taking te
one evening in thei.' barracks, the fire fell
down and lit on the beards near it, vhkh
very soon began to Maze. -
"Bless your soul, Dennis, why don't
you put out that fire ?" said Captain K .
"Indeed, I wa3 just going to get some
thing to do it' with, your honcr." taid
Dennis, hastening to dispose cf the tea
kettle which he had in his hsnd.
"Pour the water on it!" roared the im
patient captain. , .
"Sir," said Deng's, "this is fcet water!
Mr. and Mrs. Brewer, cf "tTtyne
county, Kentucky, have twenty-two chil
dren. Theirs is perhaps thi r.ost exten
sive brewery in the west. . , ,
Vn oman? 8 constant torment. -Dust. "
fan' greatest pi a x.e.- A ircniia cca
tinually brushing the tan:. .: ..
An editor down south reports himself
son struck, and says he is recnericg,
though the blow was a heavy one an
eleven pounder.- -
A dandy lately appeared in Iowa will
legs so attenuated that the authorities had
him arrested because he had r.o Libl
means cf support. . - 1 v
Why. vtas St- Paul like a hers 3 ! Be
cause he loved Timothy.
Spirit Level. A tippler presets ia
the gutter. i
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